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Lesson 12
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H. Vince’s Finished Act 1
The 30-Day Screenplay – 2023
Lesson 12: Finish Act 1
What I learned from doing this assignment is…
Combing all prior assignments to complete Act 1 made this assignment easier.
Act 1:
1. INT. FAST FOOD RESTAURANT – DAY
Opening: PROTAGONIST INTRO
Beginning: Victor is ordering some food on his lunch break
Middle: Chill acquaintances conversations with rich young adults but doesn’t relate
End: Victor’s order is called, he waves goodbye to the group and exits the restaurant
2. EXT. OUTSIDE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT- DAY
Beginning: Walks up to less than perfect Honda and gets in
Middle: EXT. ON THE ROAD DRIVING – DAY
Victor listens to music (preferably Arcade Fire)
EXT. BEACH – DAY
End: Victor stops at the beach
3. EXT. BEACH – DAY
Beginning: Intro to VICTOR’S good friend
Middle: VICTOR finds out about a party
INT. VICTOR’S PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT – DAY
End: Back to his meaningless job
4. INT. JEREMY’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Beginning: Victor and his friends drinking, toking, talking about life
Middle: The friends ask each other one bad habit they want to stop. Victor mentions something his mom told him.
End: Alcohol induced black-out
5. INT. JEREMY’S HOUSE – DAY
Beginning: VICTOR TRANSFORMATIONAL EVENT: Disappointed when he wakes up from a black-out all groggy
Middle: Victor has calls and texts from his mom Donna (ANTAGONIST INTRO). She is upset not knowing where Victor was all night
End: Leaves Jeremy’s early morning while it’s still dark outside.
6. EXT. DRIVING HOME – DAY
Beginning: Victor stops abruptly at a railroad crossing where a duck and ducklings are crossing.
Middle: Victor sees another vehicle approaching and he gets fearful the vehicle might not stop which also awakens Victor even more after his night last night.
End: The truck stops just in time for the ducks to cross and for Victor to show relief.
Inciting Incident:
7. INT. AUTO MECHANIC SHOP – DAY
Beginning: VICTOR takes his car to get an oil change.
Middle: Mechanic asks about dents on car hood. VICTOR makes a joke about the dents on his hood to the mechanic.
End: Mechanic puts VICTOR on blast on social media
8. EXT. DRIVING – DAY
VICTOR’S TRANSFORMATION EVENT: Gets cancelled
Beginning: VICTOR starts getting negative notifications on his phone from online sources.
Middle: VICTOR’s good friend contacts him to meet up
INT. FROYO SHOP – DAY
End: VICTOR shows up at the frozen yogurt spot.
9. INT. FROYO SHOP – DAY
Beginning: VICTOR meets up with his good friend and friend’s girlfriend.
EXT. FROYO SHOP – DAY
Middle: Friend convo that gets moved to an outside table
End: Some kids show up recognizing Victor from social media calling him out. VICTOR decides to confront the mechanic.
Turning Point:
10. EXT. MECHANIC SHOP – DAY
Beginning: VICTOR shows up to the mechanic shop
Middle: Mechanic goes live on social media saying he is in danger.
End: VICTOR tries to tell the mechanic that it was a joke.
11. EXT MECHANIC SHOP – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Beginning: Just then a car pulls up on the side of the road and some guys get out.
Middle: Some random guys hassle VICTOR.
End: Something hits the phone. Live feed gets cut. Everything goes black.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by H. Vince.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by
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Tasha Finished Act 1
Doing this assignment, I learned the following: how easy the different assignments made it to get an Act 1 together. I really dig the freedom of being able to write at 20% for the first draft’
1. Outline any other scenes left to write in Act 1.
EXT. FAST FOOD RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Beginning: Bethany goes on a terrible date that has some strange but subtle (deniable) supernatural elements to it.
Middle: Bethany makes up a bunch of different stuff and the guy asks her if she’s possessed and she says no but then Demon 23 does something undeniably supernatural and.
End: The guy leaves the date while Bethany is mid-sentence.
INT. Apartment – Night
Beginning: Bethany sits at her desk in her darkened apartment, the only light is from her laptop. It illuminates her sad face. She opens her dating app and responds to Brad, declining his request to meet up.
Middle: Brad responds right away and tells her he’s bummed. He tries to convince her to change her mind but she makes up an excuse for not being able to see him.
End: He asks if they could do it another time and she says maybe to let him down easy. He says great and it will be his treat. Bethany ends the chat. She goes to close the dating app but stops and quickly types a few words to Brad, before erasing them and making herself close her laptop.
2. Write a 20% draft of those scenes.
3. With those scenes done, do a quick read of Act 1 and add/improve anything you’d like. No wordsmithing!
Act 1:
Opening:
INT. BETHANY’S CHILDHOOD BEDROOM – DAY
A modest girl’s room, wallpapered with a design of petite autumn flowers. Brown gingham curtains. A plain white quilt with brown trim over a mattress on a rod iron bed frame. Bouquets of dead flowers are everywhere with tags that say Get Well Soon, Hope you Feel Better, We Miss You at School.
Bethany, a blond, schoolgirl, innocent and kind, 14 y.o., writhes on her bed. Her body contorts into tortured shapes and her tongue wags uncontrollably from her mouth as the sound of thousands of sinister voices groan in her throat like an animal’s guttural, warning growl. Her face is haggard, dark and ghastly.
DEMON 23
(talking through Bethany)
I will rip her from head to sternum before I ever give her up.
Rip marks form all over her skin.
FRANK, Bethany’s father, 35 y.o. Grizzled and burly recoils from his daughter and eyes the door.
FATHER PTOLEMY, 72, y.o. Wizen and gray from his years as a priest charges forward and douses Bethany with holy water. She jerks and screams in pain.
FATHER PTOLEMY
(to Frank)
Hold your daughter down!
(to Deacon Anders)
Read [Insert Bible verse]!
DEACON ANDERS, 25, a priest in training. Eyes wide in horror, his slight frame quivering. He just watches paralyzed.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Damn it Deacon! Read it!
Bethany’s body rises up, breaking free from Father Ptolemy and Frank. She rolls forward but remains unnaturally up right as if being propped up by an unseen force.
She looks straight into Deacon Anders eyes smiling an unnatural menacing smile.
DEMON 23
(talking through Bethany)
If you want to give up like your mother did, use your blade. Bethany could use company.
Deacon Anders drops the Bible and backs aways until he presses his back against the far bedroom wall away from Bethany.
Bethany raises her hand. Deacon Anders is pulled towards her, his feet gliding across the room on their tiptoes. His neck comes to rest in Bethany’s death grip.
DEMON 23
(talking through Bethany)
I snap your neck. I add you to my collection.
Deacon Anders struggles to breathe.
Father Ptolemy pries Bethany’s grip off of Deacon Anders and Deacon Anders falls to the ground.
Father Ptolemy struggles to restrain Bethany.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Frank!
Frank aids Father Ptolemy and they return Bethany to a reclining position in her bed. She falls limp, head lulling to one side. Eyes unfocused and distant.
Deacon Anders, cringing on the floor, removes his pocket knife from his robes without taking his eyes off Bethany’s limp form.
Bethany’s eyes dart over to him and she flicks a snake-like tongue at him.
Deacon Anders jumps to his feet and rushes towards Bethany.
DEACON ANDERS
Die!
He raises the blade intent on sending down a fatal strike.
FATHER PTOLEMY
No!
Father Ptolemy turns and blocks Deacon Anders’ blow. They struggle. Bethany’s body starts to jerk and undulate.
Frank jumps away and Bethany laughs wildly. He shakes his head and runs out of the room.
Deacon Anders and Father Ptolemy crash against a wall, locked in physical battle.
Bethany stops laughing and flopping about on the bed.
Her eyes close. Her body stays still and straight.
Very slowly her lips begin to move. Very faintly she mumbles something.
Her voice starts to grow in sound as she continues to mumble.
BETHANY
I am light…I am light…I am light…
Unnoticed by Father Ptolemy and Deacon Anders, Bethany struggles to a sitting position. Then with great effort, she crawls across the bed. At the foot of her bed she leans down and scoops up the Bible.
BETHANY
I am light. I am light. I am light.
She flips the book open to the verse Father Ptolemy asked for and she starts to read it.
Father Ptolemy and Deacon Anders stop fighting and look over.
DEMON 23
(speaking through Bethany)
This cannot save you.
Bethany rises up and her body is hurled at the headboard of her bed. She crashes down on the mattress, but she still holds onto the Bible.
Father Ptolemy rushes to her and cradles her in his arms. He helps her hold the Bible up and finds that her finger, broken and bruised, is inserted between the pages of the bible. He opens it up to [Insert Bible Verse here] and begins to read it.
Soon, Bethany joins him.
Together, their voices grow stronger as Bethany undulates between her voice and the voice of Demon 23.
Bethany starts to levitate and is pulled out of Father Ptolemy’s arms. He falters.
BETHANY
Keep reading!
Father Ptolemy reads the verse over and over again.
Bethany begins to recite the Lord’s Prayer.
Deacon Anders watches as Bethany throws back her head and lets out one long, loud, painful scream and expels a shadowy essences from her. She falls back on the bed.
Beautiful vibrant roses bloom on all the bouquets and on the bushes outside her window. Bethany slumbers. A peaceful glow on her.
Frank enters the room.
FRANK
Is it over?
Father Ptolemy gives him a tired nod.
FRANK
(Looking at all the rose)
This will probably be the last time she gets any flowers. What boy would want her after this?
Father Ptolemy collects his hat. Deacon Anders scrambles over to Father Ptolemy and hands him his coat.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Now you’re helpful.
DEACON ANDERS
I deeply apologize. I will never fail you again.
Father Ptolemy raises a dubious eyebrow and Deacon Anders looks away.
FRANK
Where are you going?
FATHER PTOLEMY
Home.
FRANK
You can’t just leave her.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Don’t worry, I will be back to check on her.
FRANK
No, I mean you can’t just leave her here.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Pardon?
FRANK
She can’t stay here. We have children.
FATHER PTOLEMY
She’s your daughter.
FRANK
No sir, not after what I saw. I don’t know what she is.
FATHER PTOLEMY
She’s an innocent girl who’s just been through a horrible event and she needs you to heal.
FRANK
If you don’t take her here and now Father, I’m going to kill her. I don’t care if I go to jail.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Or if you damn your soul?
FRANK
Killing that thing would be God’s work.
Father Ptolemy stares into Frank’s eyes and sees no love for Bethany there.
FATHER PTOLEMY
(to Deacon Anders)
Collect the girl.
DEACON ANDERS
Father?
FATHER PTOLEMY
She needs our protection.
Deacon Anders hesitates to touch Bethany.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Hurry up!
Deacon Anders rouses Bethany who wakes up but is still quite groggy. He gets her to her feet and with her arm slung around his shoulders, walks her to the door.
FATHER PTOLEMY
We’ll be back for her things.
Father Ptolemy shakes his head and exits the room.
Helping Bethany walk, Deacon Anders stops short of exiting the room to address Frank.
DEACON ANDERS
I will keep close watch. You have my word.
Bethany looks up.
BETHANY
Papa?
Frank steals his face and turns his back on her.
Bethany drops her head, weighed down by fatigue and sadness. Deacon Anders wearily guides her through the door.
EXT. FAST FOOD RESTAURANT – NIGHT
BETHANY, now 28 y.o., still blonde, attractive, small waist, big smile, beauty queen potential, but she wouldn’t know it. Her hair in a side ponty-tail, glasses perched on her nose, cute summer dress covered by a sweater – more funky than mousy. She sits nervously, trying not to rest her hands on the surface of the faux wood table because it’s sticky.
BEN, tall, gaunt, thin lips that curl downward into a scowl when he’s focusing or just relaxed, hair that is either punk and edgy or just hasn’t been washed in a while, walks into the restaurant and scans the dining area.
Bethany gives him a little wave and he heads over to her.
She hurriedly stands up to greet him and at the same time he leans down to peck her on the cheek. This causes both of them to simultaneously pull back from each other. Ben tries again. So does Bethany. And they pull back again awkwardly.
BEN
You don’t have to get up.
BETHANY
Oh.
She stands still and Ben gives her a kiss on the cheek.
Bethany smiles awkwardly and sits down.
Ben remains standing and turns to look at the fast food menu that hangs above the cash register [or whatever that area is called].
BETHANY
You’re not going to sit?
Ben stares down at her with his creepy cupie doll eyes, mouth agape. Either he can’t understand what he’s looking at — a human female — and it’s silently horrifying to him or he’s weighing what he’s about to say. Whatever it is, it’s weird.
Bethany watches him wearily.
BEN
Yeah, I’m just thinking about what to order. What are you getting?
BETHANY
Oh, I uh…
She looks at the menu.
BETHANY
I’ll just get the #4.
BEN
Great. I’ll order mine first while you watch the table. Then you can go up.
BETHANY
Oh, okay.
Ben heads over to the line before Bethany finishes her short sentence.
She pauses for a second then thinks to get her wallet out of her purse. Then she stops and looks over at Ben and hears him order a bunch of stuff, none of which is the #4. He then pays for everything. The order taker hands him a fountain drink and Ben moves to the side and waits. His tall frame slouching, one hand hanging off the back of his jeans as he sips his drink and watches the food prep being down.
Bethany’s shoulders sink just a bit. She turns to her purse, doesn’t remove her wallet, but opens it inside the purse and files through a few bills before picking out a $10 and a $5.
She closes up her wallet and purse and makes a big movement to swing out of the booth when she almost collides with Ben.
She doesn’t make contact with him though because Ben saw her coming and stopped short.
They both stare at each other. Close call.
Then Ben’s tray flips out of his hands.
BEN
Hey! Why did you do that?
BETHANY
What? I didn’t do anything?
BEN
You’re mad I didn’t pay for your food, aren’t you.
BETHANY
What?
BEN
You didn’t have to make a scene about it.
BETHANY
What? Wait? Would you have paid if I asked?
BEN
No. But we could have figured something out.
BETHANY
Figured something out?
BEN
Yeah, like you pay for both of us this time and I get the next time. But lady, I’m telling you now, I can’t do drama in my next relationship. Maybe if you were my last girlfriend instead of Sheila, but man I don’t think you should be my next girlfriend.
BETHANY
I wasn’t asking.
BEN
I don’t need some chick jealous about my food acting all possessed.
BETHANY
Possessed? I’m not possessed.
BEN
Tell that to the chicken nuggets, Miss I-use-telekinsis-or-some-shit to throw tantrums.
BETHANY
But, Ben I didn’t. I assure you I’m not possessed.
BEN
(interrupting)
I’m outta here.
He starts to leave, but stops and turns.
BEN
No, I promised myself I would stand up to abuse.
BETHANY
Abuse?
BEN
Yeah, you owe me $12.50.
Bethany is speechless for a second.
BETHANY
I-I don’t have $12.50.
BEN
What’s that in your hand?
She looks down at her hand.
BETHANY
$15.
Ben plucks the money out of her hand and heads for the door, but just before he can push it open, the two bills get yanked out of his hand and he stumbles into the door like he’s been pushed.
Ben stares at her with terror in his eyes!
BEN
Okay! Okay! Keep your haunted money! Just stop pushing me.
BETHANY
I didn’t.
BEN
Just leave me alone.
Ben scrambles out the door and away from the restaurant.
Bethany looks around at the handful of patrons that have stopped to watch her.
She looks down and sees a mop in a bucket being wheeled over to her. It stops next to the upturned tray of food. Someone clears her throat and Bethany is looking at a disgruntled fast food employee, 18 y.o., stout, red-faced and red hair, answering to the name BLUE on her name tag.
BLUE
I don’t clean up acts of jealousy.
She hands the broom handle to Bethany and walks aways.
Bethany can feel eyes burrowing into her. She leans the mop against her booth, crouches down, and self-consciously picks up the tray and starts piling food onto it.
INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT
Bethany enters her apartment.
She drops her bag on the floor and tosses her keys on the entryway table.
She shifts through her mail as she absentmindedly closes and locks her door.
She tosses the mail on the entryway table next to the keys but retains one envelope. She starts to open it as she walks across the living room to her kitchen. Her apartment is open concept.
She stops midway across the floor and slowly looks up from her mail.
She surveys the empty apartment and her eyes land on a corner of the kitchen which is obscured by an unnaturally dark and opaque shadow. She can’t see anything through it.
She touches her left shoulder with her right and winces.
She begins to rub it, but stops.
BETHANY
Is someone there?
The curtains hanging in front of her windows and sliding glass door ripple in one continuous wave ending at a window nearest the kitchen. She checks and sees that the window is open but the night air is stagnant. She closes it.
Something in the darkened corner of the kitchen drops causing her to startle. She looks over but can’t see what it is because the shadow is just so thick.
She tries to step to the side of the shadow for another perspective, but it moves. She pulls back and her breath catches in her throat.
CRASH! A kitchen shelf falls. Bethany jumps as objects bounce out of the shadows.
The last objects roll to a stop and the shadow goes away.
Bethany breathes rapidly and stares into her kitchen.
BETHANY
Are you there?
She waits.
No response.
She clicks the kitchen light on and cleans up the mess.
INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY
Bethany sits at a two person table designing a church newsletter on her laptop.
Deacon Anders takes the seat opposite her and puts his mug of tea and plate topped with a cookie down on the table.
Bethany looks up and notices his mug of tea.
BETHANY
No coffee today?
DEACON ANDERS
Giving it up for Lent. So I got my herbal tea here. As long as I still get to eat my cookie I’m all good. Can I see what you got so far?
Bethany rotates the laptop and pushes it towards him. Deacon Anders lifts the glasses he wears on a chain around his neck and examines it.
DEACON ANDERS
Wow, this looks great. We really should be paying you.
BETHANY
I’m pretty sure that would be a sin.
Deacon Anders
Bethany–
BETHANY
No really, you know I make more than enough as a graphic artist. And you helped me find a position where I can work from home, so it’s the least I could do.
Bethany sighs and wistfully watches a couple being lovey dovey a few tables over.
BETHANY (CON’T)
I just wish I wasn’t so lonely.
DEACON ANDERS
How did last night go?
Bethany looks back at Deacon Anders and she shakes her head in disappointment.
BETHANY
Another stellar date.
DEACON ANDERS
It couldn’t of been that bad. They can’t all be bad.
BETHANY
I wish.
DEACON ANDERS
Well what happened?
[INSERT AWKWARD HIGHLIGHTS FROM HER DATE WITH BEN]
Deacon Anders mouth is a little bit agape.
DEACON ANDERS
You had to pay and clean up the nuggets?
Bethany shrugs and looks like she’s on the verge of tears.
He closes his mouth and clears his throat to quickly gather his thoughts.
DEACON ANDERS
You know, Bethany. It’s not a big deal if you don’t date. I don’t date.
BETHANY
Are you saying I should become a nun?
DEACON ANDERS
Well, there are worse ideas. Going into the church worked for me.
Bethany smiles.
BETHANY
If only I didn’t want that crazy little thing called love.
DEACON ANDERS
Hey, God’s love is no joke. Not to mention he always has your back. And so do his devoted followers.
BETHANY
Thanks.
DEACON ANDERS
You’re welcome. But really Bethany, there’s just been so many bad dates–remember the time [Insert anecdote of terrible date here]. Oh gosh, and then there was the one where [Insert anecdote of another terrible date here].
BETHANY
Thanks for the reminders.
DEACON ANDERS
I’m just saying, how much can a person take? I worry. With this last date, did you mention, you know, you’re past.
BETHANY
Why would I do that? I want a chance, remember?
DEACON ANDERS
I didn’t know if your policy had changed or not.
BETHANY
It never changes.
She puts her head down.
DEACON ANDERS
Did you just stifle a “but” or like a segue or something. I feel like there was more to that statement.
BETHANY
I think Demon 23 was in my apartment last night.
DEACON ANDERS
What?
BETHANY
Yeah. I think so.
Deacon Anders points to her cup.
DEACON ANDERS
What is that?
BETHANY
Double espresso.
Deacon Anders grabs it and downs it in one gulp.
DEACON ANDERS
Proceed.
BETHANY
I think I felt him. Or maybe not.
DEACON ANDERS
What happened?
BETHANY
A shelf fell in my kitchen.
DEACON ANDERS
And?
BETHANY
That’s it.
DEACON ANDERS
And you automatically think demon, not shoddy workmanship?
BETHANY
I know, but-
DEACON ANDERS
How many times have you thought this only for it to turn out to be nothing?
BETHANY
A lot.
DEACON ANDERS
A lot. So, shoddy work?
BETHANY
Maybe. Probably. Oh no, it was shoddy work, wasn’t it.
The PING of a notification on Bethany’s laptop catches Deacon Anders’s attention.
DEACON ANDERS
Looks like you got something from [Insert Dating App Name here].
He rotates the laptop and pushes it towards her.
Bethany clicks on the app and sees she has a message.
BETHANY
Brad Finley? I used to go to school with him. He transferred out of our district before high school, but I knew him all throughout Elementary School and Junior high.
DEACON ANDERS
That’s nice. Is he trying to make a love connection?
BETHANY
No. He just wants to catch up over coffee.
Bethany looks up. She smiles, a bit giddy.
DEACON ANDERS
You’re not thinking of responding, are you?
Bethany’s smile falters.
BETHANY
I was.
DEACON ANDERS
Bethany, you just told me you thought Demon 23 was in your apartment last night.
BETHANY
Yeah, but you said it was shoddy workmanship.
DEACON ANDERS
I know I said that and I meant it, but, and I don’t mean to be indelicate here, but, with your past, maybe we should take it a bit more seriously.
BETHANY
But it’s just a catch up. Nothing romantic. What’s the harm?
DEACON ANDERS
I don’t know.
Bethany looks at him pleadingly.
BETHANY
You know I hate it when I don’t have your approval.
She gives him puppy dog eyes and sticks her bottom lip out. Deacon Anders smiles.
DEACON ANDERS
You poor miserable thing. Fine.
Bethany cheers and jumps out of her seat, rounds the table and gives him a hug.
BETHANY
Thank you.
Suddenly, her laptop flips off the table and lands on the ground.
Bethany and Deacon Anders look at it suspiciously.
DEACON ANDERS
I don’t think you should contact him.
INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT
Bethany sits at her desk in her darkened apartment. The only light from her laptop screen illuminates her sad face.
She opens her dating app and looks at Brad’s profile. She clicks through his photos. There are a few of him wearing business casual at what looks to be a work event. There’s one with his arms up as he runs in the park with his dog. Clearly that was a candid taken by a friend or an ex. The last picture she looks at is of him on a sailboat looking windblown and sun kissed.
BETHANY
It would have been nice to catch up.
BETHANY
(typing on the Dating App)
Hi Brad. I really wish I could catch up, but I won’t be able to. Sorry about that. Take care.
She hits send and is about to close her laptop when she hears a notification.
She opens it back on. Brad is online and he is messaging her.
BRAD
(typing on the Dating App)
Really? I’m sooooo bummed. Is that a no no, or should I ask again in a week?
BETHANY
(typing on the Dating App)
I think for now it’s a no, no.
BRAD
(typing on the Dating App)
Any chance you might change your mind?
Bethany hesitates to respond.
BRAD
(typing on the Dating App)
Maybe someday….in the future…if I’m lucky?
Bethany smiles.
BETHANY
(typing on the Dating App)
Maybe if you’re lucky.
BRAD
(typing on the Dating App)
Great! Coffee will be on me.
BETHANY
(to herself)
If you’re anything like Ben…
(typing on the Dating App)
I got to go.
BRAD
(typing on the Dating App)
I understand. It’s late. I’ll be looking forward to maybe getting coffee with you…in the future….if I’m lucky.
BETHANY
(typing on the Dating App)
:lauging emoji:
Bye.
BRAD
(typing on the Dating App)
Night.
Brad signs off.
Bethany’s smile fades away and she breathes a long, sad sigh. She closes her laptop and sits alone in the dark.
Inciting Incident:
INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY
Bethany stares up at the menu while she waits in line to order coffee. There are a few people behind her including BRAD, 28 y.o., blonde, athletic, cute. Sparkly blue eyes. A Ken doll to Bethany’s blonde Barbie.
Brad leans out of line and watches Bethany as she bops her head along to whatever her oversized white headphones are playing into her ears.
Brad smiles.
Bethany walks up to the barista. She pulls down her headphones and is shocked to hear Brad give his order. Her headphones stopped her from noticing he had slipped right next to her.
BRAD
One mocha please and whatever the lady is having.
He removes a 20 from his pocket.
AMY, the barista, purple hair, plump, nose ring and a perfect dose of attitude, scoffs.
AMY
Well, that’s a new way to hop the line. So, you letting him do this?
Bethany, still a little stunned, manages to stammer out her order.
BETHANY
A latte. And a cookie. And a croissant. And a bagel sandwich.
Amy rings up the order and Brad pays, forking over another $20.
He follows Bethany to a table where they sit down.
BRAD
Next time I’ll be sure to specify the lady can have one thing.
Bethany pulls out a $20 and offers it to him.
Brad waves her off.
BRAD
I was only kidding.
Bethany smiles patiently.
BRAD
So?
BETHANY
So, I should be pretty freaked out right now, but you look too much like your profile picture to know you’re not some random dude who strong-armed himself into buying me coffee. And you haven’t changed in 14 years.
BRAD
Surely I filled out a bit. And I have way less acne.
BETHANY
I always thought your acne was kind of cute.
BRAD
I always thought you were kind of cute.
BETHANY
Wow, we veered quickly into flirtatious territory, didn’t we. I thought you just wanted to catch up.
BRAD
Well, you started it. Nobody could resist a compliment about their acne. I thought you were the one who didn’t want to catch up.
BETHANY
No, I did, I do.
BRAD
That’s what I thought. That’s why I showed up here, I was hoping to bump into you.
BETHANY
How did you know I would be here?
BRAD
It’s like the background of almost every picture you have on your dating profile. I recognized the place. Are you disappointed?
BETHANY
No, not at all. I’m actually flattered.
BRAD
Good. Flattery looks good on you. So how have you been since the 8th grade? You don’t have much of a social presence. Otherwise I wouldn’t have bothered with a face-to-face. I would have just stalked you online like a normal person. So imagine when I saw Bethany Sawyer was on my dating app. I had to say hi.
BETHANY
There’s really not too much to tell. I went to college. Became a graphic designer. I live alone. I have a few hobbies.
BRAD
Dating seems to be one.
BETHANY
I guess it is, but it never pans out.
BRAD
I was just about to ask how you’re single.
BETHANY
Boring. I’m pretty boring.
BRAD
You don’t seem boring to me.
BETHANY
Well, I do volunteer work with a bunch of foster kids, and they tell me I’m boring. Like all the time. They just keep doing it. Unsolicited.
BRAD
Oh no, you’re boring and a do-gooder.
BETHANY
I’m afraid I am. So I’ll understand if you actually want that $20.
Brad laughs.
BRAD
Well, actually no. Quite the opposite in fact. I want to spend more than $20 on you. And I want you to wear something nice when I do it, and I want us to be sitting at a table with a tablecloth on it and shiny cutlery and one of those little battery operated candles. I want to be able to embarrass you with stories from our past, especially the one about how you were the first girl I ever kissed and how I think it ruined me for all other kisses.
BETHANY
Are you asking me out?
BRAD
I’ve been wanting to ask you out for about 14 years.
Bethany smiles at Brad, but notices the cutlery on the table near him moving. It looks like something unseen is trying to lift the spoon, but then moves to the knife. The point of the knife starts to lift up from the table.
BRAD
So what do you think?
Bethany leans over and kisses Brad while forcefully flattening the cutlery to the table with her hand to make it stop moving.
Brad’s hands rise up and gently caress the side of Bethany’s face. They linger in the kiss for a while before they pull apart.
BRAD
I hope that’s a yes.
Bethany looks down at her hand and slowly removes it from the cutlery. It stays perfectly still.
She smiles at Brad.
BRAD
Friday night?
BETHANY
Pick me up at 7.
INT. CHURCH – DAY
Bethany enters the church holding a white box.
Deacon Anders is at the altar talking to one of his parishioners who nods, shakes Deacon Anders hands and walks towards the church entrance, nodding a greeting to Bethany as he passes her.
Bethany practically dances down the aisle towards Deacon Anders.
BETHANY
I just picked up the copies of the church newsletter you ordered.
Bethany pulls off the top and holds the box out towards him.
BETHANY
See?
Deacon Anders takes the top newsletter.
DEACON ANDERS
You seem to be in a great mood.
BETHANY
I ran into Brad at the coffee shop randomly and we really hit it off.
Deacon Anders’ smile drops.
DEACON ANDERS
You did? Did anything happen?
BETHANY
I said yes to a date.
DEACON ANDERS
No, I mean did anything weird happen?
Bethany’s face becomes a little bit guilty.
BETHANY
Like what?
DEACON ANDERS
(lowering his voice)
Like Demon 23 stuff.
BETHANY
No, nothing.
DEACON ANDERS
Nothing? Are you lying to me, Bethany?
BETHANY
No, it wasn’t anything. It was so small. A knife barely levitated.
DEACON ANDERS
A knife levitated!
Bethany looks around self-consciously.
BETHANY
Keep your voice down.
DEACON ANDERS
And you have the audacity to say yes to a date? Was the knife anywhere near Brad?
BETHANY
Audacity?
DEACON ANDERS
I’m surprised at you.
BETHANY
Nothing happened. I stopped it! What was I supposed to do?
DEACON ANDERS
I don’t know, maybe stop and think for a second. Hmm, a knife is levitating towards his head, maybe I shouldn’t go on this date with him.
BETHANY
It didn’t levitate towards his head, it didn’t even leave the table.
DEACON ANDERS
Didn’t even leave the table? Do you hear yourself? Quite selfish. Did you ever think that maybe you shouldn’t date at all?
BETHANY
Yes, every single time I talk to you. But I don’t want to live like you. I don’t want to sacrifice love and a relationship for an unsatisfactory career as a lowly clergyman.
DEACON ANDERS
The love of God fulfills me.
BETHANY
Oh yeah. If you’re so fulfilled, then why do you keep trying for a recommendation from the nuncio to be made a bishop. You invite that guy over all the time, but he just comes for the food.
DEACON ANDERS
That’s none of your business.
BETHANY
Maybe if you could perform an exorcism like Father Ptolemy, you would get noticed.
DEACON ANDERS
If I didn’t know better, I would say you were in need of an exorcism right now.
BETHANY
No, I’m not possessed, Deacon Anders. I’m just fed up. And it’s just laughable that a priest’s first name is Deacon. And try as you might to get us to call you Father Anders, we all just call you Deacon Anders. How sad. Aren’t you tired of having a name that reminds you of your failures?
DEACON ANDERS
Aren’t you tired of having a past that reminds you of yours.
Bethany looks down to hide the sting of Deacon Anders words.
Bethany steels herself and looks up.
BETHANY
Yes. That’s why I’m going on this date. Selfish or not.
Bethany turns and marches out of the church letting the doors slam behind her.
Turning Point:
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Bethany arrives at the restaurant and she looks great. Her hair and make-up is perfect. Her dress is sexy but tasteful. A waiter shows her to an intimate little table for two. She takes a seat and looks over the wine menu.
Brad arrives in sweatpants and a moth-eaten t-shirt with a faded vintage soda logo on it. Looking the worse for wear, he sits down opposite her.
Bethany is shocked to see him
BETHANY
Brad!
Bethany reaches for him. He jerks back. Very jumpy.
Bethany pulls back.
BETHANY
Is everything okay.?
BRAD
I can’t have dinner with you.
BETHANY
You showed up to the restaurant to say you can’t have dinner with me?
BRAD
I’m sorry. I thought the least I could do was tell you in person.
BETHANY
But why?
BRAD
Something happened.
BETHANY
What?
BRAD
Something I can’t explain. And then I was shown something. Oh God, Bethany! I had no idea.
BETHANY
What are you talking about Brad?
Bethany jumps up interrupting her own question.
A fork levitates and hovers right by Brad’s head. He doesn’t see it.
It swings away from his head and then swings quickly towards his temple, but Bethany grabs it before it makes contact and pierces him.
Brad looks at her and then turns to look at her hand struggling to hold back a fork mere inches from his head.
BETHANY
I’ll be right back. Please, please don’t leave. I can explain this!
Bethany heads towards the bathroom pulling the fork along with her.
INT. BATHROOM – DAY
Bethany marches into the bathroom and slams the fork down on the counter of the bathroom sink.
She grips the edge of the counter and shakes with anger.
BETHANY
A fork?
She snatches the fork from the counter.
BETHANY
A FORK!
She waves it around menacingly.
BETHANY
You better back off!
She looks around her.
BETHANY
I swear! If you don’t leave us alone, I’ll get a Ouija board or something and chase your ass down! I’ll slap a paranormal restraining order on you so hard you won’t know who’s the poltergeist!
An unseen force slams her against the bathroom wall and pins her. One cheek is squeezed against the wall as an invisible force presses her face hard against the wall’s surface.
She squirms and twists her face free.
BETHANY
So you are here. Our father who arts in Heaven–
Her face is slammed against the wall again.
She closes her eyes and repeats a barely audible phrase over and over again.
BETHANY
I am light. I am light. I am light.
Slowly she is released from the wall. She pulls her phone out and does a quick internet search as she backs away from the wall and towards the entrance of the bathroom.
She finds a prayer and starts to recite it.
BETHANY
[Insert New Age Prayer]
The unseen force tries to rip her phone from her hands but she holds onto it and continues to read the prayer from it.
She finishes the prayer and the unseen force releases her.
She looks around.
BETHANY
Are you still here?
All is quiet.
BETHANY
Are you?
Silence.
BETHANY
You better stay gone.
She leaves the bathroom.
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Bethany exits the bathroom and sees that Brad is still in his chair, his back to her. She walks stiffly towards him despite her best attempts to mask her pain and walk normally. Her left arm hangs at an abnormal angle.
She sits down in her chair and is surprised to see that it isn’t Brad sitting across from her. It’s the maitre’d.
Two men step to either side of her.
MAITRE’D
I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave. If you go quietly, we won’t charge you for any damages done to the bathroom. But for the safety of our patrons and for their peace of mind these men will escort you out.
Bethany stands up.
BETHANY
Did the man who was sitting here say anything before he left?
MAITRE’D
He asked me to tell you not to contact him again.
Bethany signs heavily.
BETHANY
This shit has got to end.
She turns around and walks out of the restaurant flanked on either side by the two men.
EXT. CHURCH – DAY
Bethany pulls up to the curb across the street from the church.
She watches Deacon Anders warmly greet two people on the front steps. He gestures for them to go inside and watches after them as they walk up the rest of the steps and disappear into the church.
Then he turns to face the street and looks directly at Bethany.
She stares at him blankly and then drives off.
-
INT. KITCHEN – DAY
Act I
HANK BONNER (40’S) is having a pity party for himself. He’s invited his mother, Carrot Top. He knows she’ll listen. They’re preparing a meal together. He’s a bit eccentric and thinks he knows everything about cooking and Carrot Top knows all too. She’s a bit bossy. Hank removes a head of lettuce from the refrigerator and tosses it to his mom.
HANK
You know this is my 7th marriage I’ve thrown away.
As she catches the lettuce.
CARROT TOP
You mean your marbles don’t you?
Hank stirs a pot on the stove.
HANK
Yeah, I’ve lost them too. I must be kin to you.
Carrot Top tears the lettuce apart for the salad.
CARROT TOP
You’ve got to just keep climbing back on that horse, Hank. You’ll eventually get it right.
Why don’t you use that old marriage counseling certificate you’ve tossed away, to get you up and going.
HANK
When I didn’t renew, that certificate just up and trotted off.
INT. HOME OFFICE – DAY
Hank sits at his desk, he’s searching for the certificate.
HANK
Where is that thing, I probably threw it out with the trash.
The phone rings. It’s Carrot Top.
CARROT TOP
You find that damn thing yet? Let me know and I’ll help anyway I can.
HANK
Got it mom, I’ll call you if I find it.
He hangs up.
INT. HOME OFFICE/FILE CABINET – DAY
Hank searches in a file cabinet in the corner of his office. He’s gotten to the last drawer, last file and there it is.
HANK
I buried that pretty good. All dogs must die.
Let’s see how long it was good for?
Reads out loud.
It was only good for a year. Gess that settles that.
Hank wads the certificate up and meticulously aims for the trash can. After thinking a few seconds–
HANK
I could call the court clerk to see if can be renewed?
Hank calls the county court clerk.
HANK
Yes, this is Hank Bonner, I have an expired Marriage Counselor Certificate can it be renewed?
COUNTY COURT CLERK (V.O.)
You’ll need to call the authority that issued that Sir.
Hangs up the phone.
HANK
Authority? Everybody’s an Authority!
INT. KITCHEN – DAY
Hank flips through the phone book for Marriage Certificate School. Calls the school.
Phone rings.
HANK
This is Hank Bonner. I have a Marriage Counseling Certificate issued by your school that’s expired. How can I get it renewed?
LADY AT THE SCHOOL (V.O.)
You’ll need to get your classes up to date. Come by and let a counselor check see what classes you need.
Hank hangs up the phone. The phone rings it’s Carrot Top.
Intercut:
HANK
Hello, mom.
CARROT TOP
How did you know it was me.
HANK
It’s on the phone, mom.
CARROT TOP
Well, did you find it?
HANK
I did.
CARROT TOP
Well?
HANK
It’s expired. I’d need to catch up on classes, and I’m not up to that.
CARROT TOP
How many classes for God’s sake?
HANK
God doesn’t have anything to do with this, mom. I’ve got to go talk to a counselor at the school to find out.
CARROT TOP
So when are you going?
HANK
I’m not, that just too much trouble.
CARROT TOP
Well, trouble’s your middle name, trot on down there get her done.
INT. MARRIAGE SCHOOL – DAY
Hank enters the office he’s been directed to
COUNSELOR
How can I help you Mr. Bonner
Hank places the old certificate on her desk.
COUNSELOR
You can’t be serious? This is ten years old.
HANK
Is there a problem, Missy?
Counselor frowns at his comment. Her mood changes.
COUNSELOR
We just can’t renew something this old. Sorry
Pitching his certificate back at him.
You’ll need to take the whole course load.
HANK
How long will it take, the “whole course load”?
COUNSELOR
Two years and then there’s testing.
HANK
Is there a night class?
COUNSELOR
Yes, but it takes longer.
INT. HANK’S PLACE – DAY
Carrot Top on the phone.
CARROT TOP
I’ve found you a nice office just off the Blvd. Put an add in the paper for a receptionist you can open your office this week. I’ll call the paper and put you a nice ad for clients tomorrow. How’s that sound?
HANK
MOM! We need to talk!
INT. RESTAURANT
Hank and his Mom discuss why he must open the office anyway. Maybe use a corporate name to open.
CARROT TOP
I looked up the law. If you don’t give legal advise you’ll be okay to work as a marriage counselor.
HANK
That don’t sound exactly right?
CARROT TOP
We won’t advertise your name. That way we can open until you get your license back. Go to school and get that certificate.
HANK
Mom you’ve lost your mine. Forget it!
EXT. HANKS HOME/MAIL BOX – DAY
Hank removes a vanilla envelope from the mailbox. It’s from a law firm.
HANK
Have they found me out already?
INT. HANKS HOME/KITCHEN – DAY
Hank opens the envelope in his kitchen. It’s final papers he needs to sign for his divorce. He snacks his head with the envelope. Discussed with himself.
INT. HANKS HOME/KITCHEN – NEXT DAY
Hank goes through the garbage to find the envelope. Throws it on the kitchen counter.
HANK
Tomorrow.
INT. BUSINESS OFFICE – DAY
Hank enters his new business. The door sign notes that Hank is the Marriage Counselor.
Hank hangs his expired license on the wall.
HANK
Nobody will notice the date.
Hank is in the office at his desk when bubble gum popping, Bobbi Sue, his new receptionist enters.
BOBBI SUE
Hello Mr. Bonner.
HANK
Bobbi Sue is it?
His phone rings, it’s Carrot Top, his mom.
She wants to know if he needs any help.
HANK
No Mom, Bobbi Sue’s here.
Hangs up the phone and hands Bobbi Sue materials to file.
HANK
These are important, put’m somewhere we can find them.
BOBBI SUE
Sure will. Thanks for the job, Mr. Bonner. My kids need to eat.
Hank takes a questioning pause as Bobbi Sue leaves his office.
INT. BUSINESS OFFICE – DAY
The phone rings. Hank picks it up, excited that it may be a client.
HANK
Hello, how can I help you this is Hank.
Hank’s wife, ELAINE, soon to be his ex is on the phone.
ELAINE
Hank, Carrot Top gave me your number. I need to talk to you.
Hank’s mood fades when realizes it’s not a client.
HANK
Well, you got me. Mom didn’t know any better.
ELAINE
Can you meet tonight at the club?
HANK
Elaine? What’s this about I know you don’t love me. Hell you don’t even like me? Hangs up the phone.
Bobbi Sue enters and announces a client.
BOBBI SUE
A lovely lady and a contractor looking man enters. Hank is really taken with the lady and even considers that she might be his number eight.
Guides her to a seat.
HANK
Just take a seat, oh you too Mr. Canfield.
Who wants to go first?
MRS. CANFIELD
Me?
HANK
Ladies first.
MRS. CANFIELD
Ok, Mr. Canfield and I seen to be incompatible.
HANK
That’s a shame. Shame on you, Mr. Canfield.
MR. CANFIELD
It’s her not me.
HANK
What did naughty little girl do?
MR. CANFIELD
She went out on me.
HANK
I’m sure there was a good reason, what did you do to make her do such a thing?
Hank All smiles.
The contractor can’t get his wife out of there fast enough.
His second appointment arrives, it’s a couple who have been married only three years and are arguing a lot. They’ve just been seated when–
Carrot Top pokes her head in the door.
CARROT TOP
It’s time to dust your office. It’ll just take a second.
She comes on in and goes to work.
HANK
Thank you for coming in Mr. and Mrs. Heart. What brings you here today of all days.
MRS. HEART
I don’t feel comfortable talking with maintenance present.
Mrs. Heart stares at Carrot Top.
HANK
Oh, she not maintenance, she’s my mom.
HANK
Let me tell you about myself to put you at ease. I know everything there is to know about marriage. I’ve done it 7 times. So, I know all the ends and outs. So you know you got the right man to get you back on track. If you know what I mean.
Mrs. Heart looks at Mr. Heart. He looks at Carrot Top.
HANK
You guys only been married three, years? Did you know that the average marriage is seven years. Surely, you can make it four more years?
The couple is taken aback and not sure he is for them but listens to what he has to say. Which is a lot of bull shit.
The man seems to take him at his word, but the lady is whacked out with him. They leave in a huff.
Bobby Sue enters Hank’s office. Convinces Hank he needs a better approach to not scarce people off.
BOBBI SUE
What happened? She was in tears.
HANK
Maybe, I’m not cut out for this. Mom you didn’t help out either.
CARROT TOP
Well, I could’ve jumped in, but that would’ve made you look more a fool.
BOBBI SUE
You need a better approach Hank. It’ll just take practice. One step at a time..
INT. MARRIAGE SCHOOL – DAY
Hank sits in a classroom. Most all the students are young. He feels out of place. Squirms in his seat. A young teacher enters the classroom.
TEACHER
Well let’s get started. Did everyone get the materials suggested?
Hank looks around and sees everybody has materials. Except him.
Teacher notices.
TEACHER
Would anyone mine sharing your book with Mr. Boner.
The young students laugh.
HANK
It’s Bonner ma’am.
INT. HANK’S RECEPTIONIST OFFICE – DAY
Bobbi Sue turns on her microphone so she can hear Hank’s clients. She thinks she can help him.
A city auditor arrives at the office to talk to Hank about operating his business without a license.
RUSSEL
I’m here to speak with Mr. Hank Bonner
BOBBI SUE
Do you have an appointment, Sir?
RUSSEL
I’m a city auditor.
BOBBI SUE
He’s with a client. He’ll be available in about 20 minutes.
Hank begins to talk to his clients over Bobbi Sue’s microphone. Bobbi Sue turns it off fast.
RUSSEL
I call him let him know when I’m coming back.
INT. HANK’S OFFICE – DAY
Hank realizes that he’s got to change his tune. The next couple is an older couple who love each other and just want to be more appreciated by each other.
Hank knows they’re coming in and studies his manual to be better prepared to talk to them.
They’re seated in Hank’s office.
HANK
Let me give you my background so you can be confident about coming to see me.
They nod.
HANK
I’m studying at the most profound school for marriage counseling. Have been able to help every single one of my clients and I know I can help you too.
The couple look at each other and back at him.
HANK
Does that sound good? Now let’s just get down to your problem. What is it?
They think he’s an oddball and they leave.
Bobbi Sue enters his office.
BOBBI SUE
That didn’t take long?
HANK
They had a small problem.
BOBBI SUE
Yeah?
HANK
Me? I think I scared them.
BOBBI SUE
You’re being to anxious, Hank. I was listening over the mic. Just calm down. I’ll write down what you need to say about your credentials and say no more.
HANK
Why didn’t I think of that.
BOBBI SUE
It’s a big undertaking in the beginning. I’m here to help, if you’ll let me.
BOBBI SUE
Oh, by the way, a city auditor stopped by. He said he’ll call when he can come back.
HANK
Oh hell no, we’ll all be going to jail!
INT. CLUB DINER – NIGHT
Hank walks into the diner looking for Elaine. She’s quietly sitting in a window seat on the other side of the restaurant. He notices how serene she looks.
ELAINE
Thanks for coming Hank. I didn’t know if you would.
HANK
Well, we have had better days.
Hank settles into his seat and takes a deep breath.
ELAINE
We used to be close? At least I thought so?
HANK
When it was all new, we had a good time. Do you miss me Elaine?
ELAINE
I miss the good times. Not your sarcasm.
HANK
I don’t always mean what I say Elaine. It just explodes from my mouth I would like us to get back together. I could do better.
ELAINE
I don’t think you can Hank. It’s just who you are.
HANK
I can try.
ELAINE
What’s this about a marriage counseling business. That’s a laugh.
HANK
There you go be condescending.
ELAINE
How does it feel, Hank?
Waitress arrives to take their order.
WAITRESS
What are we having today, folks?
INT. CAR – DAY
Carrot top drives along in her car. Car phone chimes. Hanks name is on the navigator screen.
CARROT TOP
What did old bitchy want?
Hank in his dream world misinterprets what Elaine had to say.
HANK
She’s not ole bitchy, mom. She just has some concerns that we’re moving to fast with the divorce.
CARROT TOP
Well, I could told her that! She going move back in?
HANK
No, not sure I want her too.
CARROT TOP
I know you better than that. It was true love this time Hank. At least it was for you.
INT. HANKS OFFICE – DAY
The next clients enter Rosy and Max. They’ve been world travelers and have done it all and are now bored with each other. Hank’s going have a hard time with the what if idea, because they seem to have already done it all.
HANK
Ok, If you would state your name and how your related?
ROSY
I’m Rosy Barton, married to Maxy Barton.
MAX
I’m Maxy, Rosy’s husband and handy man.
Hank smiles
HANK
What are you handy at, Maxy?
MAX
Anything she needs, but she don’t need much anymore. Ignores me.
Hank turns to Rosy.
HANK
You don’t care for sex anymore Rosy.
MAX
She’s a dead fish.
ROSY
That’s not true. He just doesn’t give me time to warm up. He’s like a rabbit always ready to go.
Hank glances over at Maxy and invisions a rabbit.
HANK
Oh, I see what you mean.
He glances back over to Rosy and sees a turtle.
HANK
(to Rosy)
I get the picture you guys. You can get there your just not in a hurry.
ROSY
That’s it exactly.
HANK
Ok guys we solved the problem. Next time you make love try this. Rosy you act like a rabbit and Maxy you be the turtle.
Rosy looks at Maxy, and he looks at her.
MAXY
Ok, we can do that.
The clients get up to leave.
HANK
Don’t forget to sign up for your next appointment with Bobbi Sue.
INT. MARRIAGE SCHOOL – DAY
Round table discussion. Teacher gives each group a problem to solve. So each group want be distracted by the others, she hands each group a hand written assignment.
The note is handed to one in the group and passed around the table. We’ll tune into Hank’s group.
TERRI
I can relate to this.
Passes to Hank.
HANK
Well, it’s a woman’s problem if you ask me.
Passes to Calvin.
CALVIN
Not necessarily, I can also relate.
HANK
How can it relate to you, your in charge of your marriage aren’t you.
CALVIN
My wife makes all the money. Money talks.
HANK
Does it ever. One of my wives had a job and it was her way or the highway.
TERRI
Just goes to show that money shouldn’t be a part of respect for each other.
HANK
You’re right Missy.
Terri is taken aback by the word Missy.
TERRI
There you go, you men are all alike, condescending.
HANK
Sorry, Hon. I didn’t mean anything.
She shakes her head.
TERRI
Unbelievable.
INT. HANKS HOUSE – DAY
Carrot Top arrives at Hank’s to clean his house. She carries a mop bucket.
CARROT TOP
You still mopping around?
HANK
I’m lonely this is small house, but I’m lost in it.
CARROT TOP
So you’ve decided to let her come back?
HANK
I’ve got a lot of work to do to get her back. I just don’t understand her point of view.
CARROT TOP
Really?
HANK
There’s a young lady in my class that hit me hard about some of the things I said.
CARROT TOP
What did you say Hank?
HANK
Well, for one I called her Missy?
CARROT TOP
Whoops, your in the professional world now. Women want to be respected. Just like men are?
HANK
And then,…. I called her Hon?’
CARROT TOP
Double whammy umh? That’s a zinger! Women just don’t put up with that in this new world.
INT. HANK’S OFFICE – DAY
Bobbi Sue is busy taking care of all the new appointments coming in, phone rings.
BOBBI SUE
Marriage Counseling Services
MARGARET
Margaret Paris, City Auditor. I’d like to fit into Hank’s schedule today about 2.
BOBBI SUE
Ma’am, I’m so sorry. We are all booked up today.
MARGARET
I’m afraid, Ms Bobbi Sue that your about to be shut down, if you don’t comply with my request.
BOBBI SUE
I’m sorry, Ma’am. 2 will be just fine. I’ll let Hank know.
She hangs up.
Hank enters for his full day work. He knows it’s going be a tough day.
BOBBI SUE
Hank, we got a full day! That city auditor called again today. She’s talking about shutting us down.
HANK
Just what we need. What time?
A couple is in the waiting room. Hank turns to them.
HANK
You’ll come on back.
The couple heard the conversation and assume there going be rushed through.
INT. HANK’S OFFICE – DAY
Margaret sits across the desk from Hank.
MARGARET
Hank you are not understanding what I’m telling you. You are about to be shut down.
HANK
I do understand that. What I don’t understand is why. I’m doing all I can. I had a certificate and I’m getting it renewed.
MARGARET
Well, there’s no other way to say it. Your office will be closed up tomorrow. Pad lock and all.
HANK
What can I do to prove to you that I’m a good guy.
MARGARET
You can’t be just a good guy. You have to follow the law. That certificate you have on the wall is not as good as the paper it’s printed on.
HANK
Well, when you put it that way. We will close our doors tomorrow.
Auditor exits.
Hank makes a phone call to Elaine he needs support.
ELAINE
Good afternoon, Hank. How are you today?
HANK
Terrible! But you sound chipper.
INT. HANKS OFFICE/ RECEPTION AREA – DAY
Hanks walks into the reception area to tell Bobbi Sue the bad news.
HANK
Bad news Bobbi–
BOBBI SUE
Oh no, what?
HANK
I am going to have
To let you go—. The office is closed as of tomorrow.
-
LESSON 12 FINISH ACT 1
TE 5 10- 14 pages
EXT. FRONT OF GUEST HOUSE – EVENING
ANA VICTORIA RETURNS. THE GUEST HOUSE OWNER INTERCEPTS HER.
GUEST HOUSE OWNER
I helped the children pack. At least their clothes are clean now. I helped the bathe.
ANA VICTORIA
Why? What are you doing?
GUEST HOUSE OWNER
I got a call. The men who your husband arranged to give you a ride are coming in. They cannot stop long. You have to be ready when they arrive to get right in the truck and leave.
ANA VICTORIA
The police don’t know them?
GUEST HOUSE OWNER
You want to cross the desert and live in the United States? You want to ride and not wear holes in your feet trying to walk? Don’t make these men wait.
ANA VICTORIA
They told you they talked to my husband? They knew his name?
GUEST HOUSE OWNER
This is the deal that will take you to the United States. I let your boy have some chicken tacos from dinner. He is quite a little man when he is hungry.
ANA VICTORIA
How is Carmina? Is she feeling better?
GUEST HOUSE OWNER
The Pedialyte helped her. She slept. She was alert. She even ate some food with her brother. He helped her sit up. They were no problem. But now you must hurry. When the truck arrives, you come out and get in with the driver. Don’t ask questions. They know where they are going. They will tell you more after you cross the border.
ANA VICTORIA
There is so much I don’t know about this place. The officer said it is full of foreign spirits.
GUEST HOUSE OWNER
He was trying to tell you that he is tired too. He has not had a vacation in a long time. The people pour into the area from all over, not knowing anyone. There is too much theft now.
ANA VICTORIA
But, Alejandro’s burial…
GUEST HOUSE OWNER
The officer and I are friends with the priest. You just visited our church. When you are settled and it is safe, you can come back and visit him. I won’t cheat you. A good pine coffin, a burial, and a prayer. We will get everything done tomorrow morning. You will be across the border by then with your children.
ANA VICTORIA
Do I have any choice, to stay?
GUEST HOUSE OWNER
Look, his card is charged up. You must go somewhere. Why not continue with the plans you made? In many ways you are lucky.
ANA VICTORIA
But should I tell the officer?
THE GUEST HOUSE OWNER TURNS AND WALKS INTO THE HOUSE. ANA VICTORIA STANDS THERE, STUNNED. SHE RETURNS WITH THE CHILDREN AND EVERYONE’S THINGS PACKED.
GUEST HOUSE OWNER
I hope you don’t mind. I used his backpack for extra space. Food for the children. A rag. Clean clothes take up more room.
GAEL
This lady was nice, mommy. I got chicken tacos for our trip to meet poppy.
CARMINA
Mama!
The baby reaches out for AV who takes her in her arms and hugs her.
GUEST HOUSE OWNER
I see his lights. Thank you for staying with us. When you return to Nogales I will visit the church with you and light a candle for your husband.
A TRUCK PULLS UP. A MAN GETS OUT. HE APPROACHES ANA VICTORIA AND THE CHILDREN.
TRAFFICKER 1
Ana Victoria, Gael and Carmina, yes? I am your ride. My name is Augustin. You can call me Augie.
A second man gets out of the truck cab and places their bags in the back of the truck.
He pulls a steel water bottle out and brings it to the group.
TRAFFICKER 2
We have something to help the children sleep. It won’t harm them. That way they will be quiet and see nothing while we cross. It Is better if you offer it to them.
AV realizes that he is insisting that she give each child some of the bottle. She takes the bottle. He returns to the truck. The doors are open to air the cab out for a minute.
ANA VICTORIA
To help them sleep, yes?
TRAFFICKER 1
Yes.
ANA VICTORIA ASKS EACH CHILD TO DRINK SOME WATER BEFORE THEY LEAVE ON THE TRIP.
GAEL
Yuck, this tastes bad. Our water back home was better.
CARMINA JUST ACCEPTS HER MOTHER’S HELP TAKING A COUPLE OF SWALLOWS.
TRAFFICKER 1
We are lucky the stars are out. Nothing to kick up the dust but us.
ANA VICTORIA
Where did the woman go? I did not say goodbye.
TRAFFICKER 1
I heard her wish you a good journey. Look, the kids are sleepy. Let’s carry them to truck. I have some hay in the back for them.
THE TRAFFICKER 1 PICKS UP GAEL. ANA VICTORIA PICKS UP CARMINA. THEY PLACE THE CHILDREN IN THE BACK OF THE TRUCK. TRAFFICKER 1 DIRECTS AV TO GET INTO THE CAB IN BETWEEN 2 ON THE PASSENGER SIDE. SHE GETS IN THE CAB. HE CHECKS THE BACK DOOR IS SECURE. HE GETS IN THE CAB. THE TRUCK TURNS AND LEAVES THE GUEST HOUSE YARD.
INT. TRUCK CAB – NIGHT ON A RURAL BACK ROAD
TRAFFICKER 2
You want to listen to some music? Hey, I Ana Victoria on mp3. Her name is just like yours. You sing?
ANA VICTORIA
I sing folk songs to the children. I have no stage experience. She hums and tries a line of the song playing in the cab.
TRAFFICKER 2 joins her.
TRAFFICKER 1
You could sing along with my friend. There is money to make if you are a good singer.
ANA VICTORIA
I don’t know. I never did it in public. I just miss my husband. I loved my husband.
TRAFFICKER 1
You know we all grow when we try new things.
ANA VICTORIA
Oh, Gael has some tacos if he wakes up and wants to eat. Are you both from Nogales?
TRAFFICKER 1
No, I live in another town. You like asparagus?
ANA VICTORIA
I never saw the farms. How can you drive so fast in the dark? You must know every curve in this trail.
TRAFFICKER 2
We are approaching. It’s better if you keep your head down when we cross. I’ll pull you back up when we are safe.
EXT. DESERT SANDS – MORNING – FLASHBACK TO END OF FIRST SCENE.
TE
EXT. DESERT – MORNING – NEAR PLACE WHERE CHURCH GROUP LEAVES WATER
Someone is pouring water from a plastic bottle on AV’s face. She is covered in dust. Someone else douses a rag and wipes Ana Victoria’s eyes, nose and mouth.
VOLUNTEER WOMAN 1
It is a woman. She is still breathing.
VOLUNTEER MAN 1
Can you hear us? We found you. Stay with us. Try to wake up.
VOLUNTEER MAN 2
Can she hear us? I think the water is helping revive her. Get a blanket.
VOLUNTEER MAN 1 GET A BLANKET FROM THE CAR AND THEY COVER AV.
VOLUNTEER WOMAN 1
Should we take her to the hospital in Phoenix?
VOLUNTEER MAN 2
Naw, I think she is coming around. She looks pretty bruised.
VOLUNTEER MAN 1
I wonder if she fell of a truck or was pushed out. There is no one else in sight.
VOLUNTEER WOMAN 1
Some recent tracks heading north. Look like SUV tires, speeding, leaving deep tracks.
VOLUNTEER MAN 2
This is the United States. We don’t want you to die here.
ANA VICTORIA ROUSES. SHE TAKES THE WATER FROM THE WOMAN AND DRINKS HEAVILY.
VOLUNTEER WOMAN 1
That’s good. But too much and you’ll vomit. Let’s get you inside and take more care of you.
The group helps get AV into their vehicle.
ANA VICTORIA
Mumbles
I need to find my children. My boy and girl. Gael and Carmina.
The group look at one another.
VOLUNTEER WOMAN 1
Were you on a truck with your children? Or in a car?
ANA VICTORIA
Yes.
ANA VICTORIA IS TRAUMATIZED, SUFFERING FROM EXHAUTION. HER SPEECH IS SLOW.
VOLUNTEER WOMAN 1
There is no one here with you. There is no one for five miles because we do a circuit. We leave water for border crossers like you. Your children are not here.
VOLUNTEER MAN 1
If they were in a vehicle, they are probably still with the group.
ANA VICTORIA
They took my children.
VOLUNTEER MAN 2
God protect them.
VOLUNTEER MAN I
Who knows where they are going. We can’t catch them and if the patrol gets to them?
VOLUNTEER MAN 2
And if the patrol catches them? They go to the center, then maybe placement after they get checked out. We can’t go in there and ask.
VOLUNTEER MAN 1
M’am, if they are taken in by the border patrol or the police, your children will be fed and kept with other children their age in detention.
THE GROUP HELPS GET ANA VICTORIA TO THEIR VEHICLE. SHE LAYS DOWN IN THE BACK SEAT. THEY START THE ENGINE AND THE AC KICKS IN.
ANA VICTORIA
Camps, no. The men are going to Chicago. How can I get to Chicago?
VOLUNTEER WOMAN 1
Well, you can’t go there now. Why did they leave you out here?
ANA VICTORIA
I fought with the men. They said they were taking me to a brothel. They threw me out of the truck. But my children
VOLUNTEER WOMAN 1
I understand why you did not want to go with them. We are going to take you to my home and help you rest and get clean. You are suffering from heat stroke. You need to stay indoors and drink fluids for a few days. We work with a local church that helps immigrants. Is it okay with you if we help you? If not, we can drive you to a police station.
ANA VICTORIA
Yes, I accept your hospitality. Please help me.
ANA VICTORIA DOZES OFF.
VOLUNTEER MAN 2
I don’t know. We should just take her to a doctor. She is pretty strong to survive a beating.
VOLUNTEER MAN 1
I think she looks dehydrated, but it’s from more than one night. We found her soon after she was thrown out, so she was lucky. They probably don’t stop.
VOLUNTEER WOMAN 1
I am so worried that her children were also dehydrated and trying to survive the trip.
VOLUNTEER MAN 1
I can call and ask if anyone has taken in two children who we heard were in the desert last night. Did she say how old they were?
VOLUNTEER WOMAN 1
Let her sleep. We can talk to her when we get home. We can’t get to them and neither can she.
THE CAR ARRIVES AT A RANCH HOME. THE GROUP HELPS GET AV OUT OF THE CAR. SHE IS GROGGY, BUT SHE STARTS TO WALK ON HER OWN. THEY ENTER THE HOUSE.
VOLUNTEER MAN 1
What is your name?
ANA VICTORIA
ANA.
VOLUNTEER MAN 1
Were you travelling alone Ana? With your children?
ANA VICTORIA
No, my husband died in the desert in Mexico.
VOLUNTEER MAN 1
We are so sorry for your loss. We are going to pray for you. We will pray for your husband’s spirit to find peace in heaven, and for the safety of your children.
ANA VICTORIA
Why would you do this for me?
VOLUNTEER MAN 1
We believe in God. We don’t like to see people die in the desert.
VOLUNTEER WOMAN 1
Let’s get her into the bathroom. She can have some space if she revives in the cold water. Bob, could you go look in the guest room and get my extra robe out of the closet. There are some old clothes in there we could give our new friend. The pull on jeans are too big, but the elastic will hold them up.
ANA VICTORIA
Lady, If I die, I am Catholic.
VOLUNTEER WOMAN 1
My name is Louise. I live here with my husband Bob. This is our friend Ray from church. We will help you.
LOUISE AND BOB SIT ANA VICTORIA IN THE TUB. LOUISE SHUTS THE DOOR. SHE HELPS ANA UNDERSS AND RUNS SOME COOL WATER.
LOUISE EMERGES.
LOUISE
She can do it herself. She is going to recover with proper rest.
BOB
I want to know more about where those guys take the women migrants. They stole her children? I don’t like this situation she described at all.
LOUISE
I think they tried to kill her. Her torso is covered in bruises.
BOB
Ray, Louise, let’s pray now. Let’s thank God for helping us find Ana in the desert.
THE GROUP SAYS A BRIEF PRAYER.
THE SOUND OF WATER FLOWING STOPS.
END OF ACT I.
-
Chuck Czech’s Finished Act 1
What I learned — I learned to post material I’m not happy with. My first act outline is rough, far-fetched and received a minimum of wordsmithing.
Act 1
INT. RONAN’S CAR – TRAVELING – NIGHT (Protagonist introduction)
BEGINNING: We meet Ronan driving alone on a desert road at night. He’s got a strange device in the trunk.
MIDDLE: Trying to stay awake, Ronan interacts with the constantly changing radio. When he hears a preacher talk about the end of the world he gets serious. Ronan glances at the device in his rearview mirror.
END: Now sober, Ronan drives away in silence.
INT. RONAN’S CAR – TRAVELING – MORNING
BEGINNING: Ronan is energized as he navigates through moderate traffic.
MIDDLE: Ronan demonstrates a peculiar way of driving by watching the rearview mirror and tapping the cruise control; this allows him to maintain acceptable escape routes and to keep an eye on the capsule. Awkwardly, he narrates his every maneuver through traffic. A tablet mounted on the dashboard tells him to take the next exit.
END: Ronan’s eccentric driving pisses off another driver, who gives Ronan the finger. Ronan smiles and gives him a thumbs up.
EXT. TRAFFIC JAM – DAY
Beginning: Ronan’s car is parked in the left lane of a massive traffic backup caused by a major car crash.
Middle: A tablet mounted on Ronan’s dashboard counts up to 60 minutes, and a warning light on the capsule begins to blink. Concerned, Ronan maneuvers his car to the right lane and then to the right shoulder. As he does so, the capsule lights #2 through #4 light up. Ronan tries to speak with a Flagman, but his awkward speaking skills only frustrate the man. Light #5 flashes and the capsule begins to steam.
END: In full panic, Ronan steers around the Flagman and down an embankment to a side road. As he picks up speed, the capsule’s lights darken one by one.
INT./EXT. RONAN’S CAR (Ronan’s Routine sequence)
BEGINNING: Relieved that the capsule is inert again, Ronan uses the tablet to select a random road trip with no real destination.
MIDDLE: Later in the journey Ronan is anxious over his low fuel level and the need to go to the bathroom. He follows road signs to a convenience store, where he goes to the bathroom, fuels up his car. The clock tells him he has 48 minutes available.
END: Ronan naps until three minutes are left in the countdown and then resumes his random journey.
INT./EXT. RONAN’S CAR/OIL CHANGE GARAGE (Ronan’s Loneliness sequence)
BEGINNING: Ronan is alone again, driving through the night while eating junk food.
MIDDLE: Ronan talks to a lizard he calls Radar. His eye catches a billboard about family vacations and he begins to look lonely. The next morning, Ronan interacts with a friendly mechanic who changes his oil. When the mechanic asks about Ronan’s family, he seizes up.
END: Tongue-tied and frustrated, Ronan takes off, leaving the Mechanic to wonder about him.
INT./EXT. RONAN’S CAR/ROADHOUSE/LABORATORY (Ronan’s Memory sequence)
BEGINNING: Ronan drives into the desert, using the radio-scan trick to stay awake — but it’s not working — he’s fighting sleep.
MIDDLE: FLASHBACK – INT. ROADHOUSE – NIGHT
Ronan has flashbacks to a party at a roadhouse attended by a group of research scientists. From the periphery, he watches an old man, his father, toast the team on an accomplishment.
MIDDLE: FLASHBACK – INT. LABORATORY – NIGHT
The flashback changes to the same group of people lying dead on the floor of a smoking, ruined laboratory. Ronan’s father is among them, as well as Paulina. The capsule seems to be at the heart of the explosion. It starts beeping frenetically.
END: FLASHBACK – INT. LABORATORY – NIGHT
Ronan moves the capsule into the trunk of a project car and exits the underground garage.
INT./EXT. RONAN’S CAR/SMALL TOWN STREET – DAY (Inciting Incident)
Beginning: Ronan wakes up confused in a small desert town. The roadhouse he was dreaming about is just ahead.
Middle: Ronan almost hits a woman in the crosswalk. It’s Paulina — but it’s been established that Paulina had died. A black sedan rear-ends his car and a menacing Stranger gets out and approaches. An SUV plows into the black sedan, narrowly missing the Stranger. Paulina opens the door and urges Ronan to leave. The Stranger gets up from the pavement and approaches.
END: Ronan guns the engine, carrying himself and Paulina to safety.
INT./EXT. RONAN’S CAR – TRAVELING – DAY (Emotional reaction to inciting incident)
BEGINNING: Ronan speeds away from the small town and into the countryside.
MIDDLE: Paulina tries to convince Ronan that she is in fact Paulina, but Ronan is sure he saw her die.
END: Realizing his passenger knows a lot about his journey, Ronan decides to drive to safety.
INT./EXT. RONAN’S CAR – DAY (Paulina tries building a trust relationship)
BEGINNING: Ronan refuses to answer any of Ronan’s queries.
MIDDLE: Ronan’s lizard friend, Radar, takes a shine to Paulina, which breaks the ice with Ronan. As he goes through his driving routines, she gets him to explain his strategies for keeping the capsule from blowing. Ronan accidentally reveals confidential information about Gibraltar — that it was an experiment in probing the multiverse — but Paulina quotes the experiment’s abstract to prove she knows about the project.
END: Ronan is beginning to understand she’s an ally; he’s comfortable with Paulina playing with Radar.
INT./EXT. RONAN’S CAR – EVENING (Ronan falls for Paulina)
BEGINNING: When stocking up supplies at a truck stop, Paulina complains about Ronan’s eating habits; Ronan says he has no choice in the matter.
MIDDLE: Paulina promises to take him out to a proper dinner. Borrowing Ronan’s credit card, she places a takeout order from a restaurant in the next town. Later, Paulina conducts a speedy, but pleasurable picnic. She tries to get Ronan to reveal his ultimate game plan, but Ronan doesn’t provide any clues. With just a few minutes left in the one-hour countdown, they clean up after the picnic.
END: They decide to use a coffee shop’s restrooms, and when Ronan comes back to the car he finds Paulina behind the wheel. While put off by her move, Ronan trusts her, hops into the passenger seat and falls into a deep sleep.
FLASHBACK – GIBRALTAR LAB – NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER: A scene that shows better times at the Gibraltar lab — Ronan’s father leading a team of researchers as they probe different dimensions in the multiverse. They come across a signal sent to them from another dimension — likely another species altogether. Another scene shows the development of the capsule as a means to traverse dimensions to make first contact. Paulina takes Ronan into the corridor and tells him something we can’t make out.
INT./EXT. RONAN’S CAR – TRAVELING – DUSK
BEGINNING: Ronan wakes up and admires Paulina driving. Then he notices she didn’t follow his advice and detects headlights in the distance behind them. He’s afraid they might be discovered.
MIDDLE: Two Strangers in black sedans try running their car off the road. A black SUV appears and defends them — it’s driven by Brendan, Gibraltar’s security chief, who Ronan also remembers to have died. The four vehicles have a dogfight on the country road.
END: Brendan drives one of the vehicles in a ditch. The other drives Ronan and Paulina off the road. As the pair fight over control of the car they plow over one of the Strangers.
EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE – DUSK
BEGINNING: Ronan is shocked to see the Stranger’s corpse emit toxic gasses — which indicates its nonhuman origins.
MIDDLE: Brendan arrives and shows Ronan the corpse, which is definitely not human. Ronan is dumfounded over the turn of events. As he and Paulina commiserate, Brendan moves his kit from the SUV into Ronan’s car, and then torches the SUV.
END: Ronan is unable to stop Brendan from occupying the driver’s seat, so he grudgingly hops in back and rides away with them.
-
DENI B. SHER FINISHED ACT 1
What I learned doing this assignment is how important it is to make page one strong enough that the reader/viewer will care about the protagonist and want to go on their journey.
EXT. AVENTURA, FL – HIGH END CONDO BUILDING – NIGHT
A Lexus sedan pulls up to the front doors.
INT. LEXUS – NIGHT
DENI(49) wears designer suit, leans over, kisses ARTHUR (54) behind the wheel, in casual suit and tie.
DENI
Thank you for another wonderful night. I love you, sweetheart.
ARTHUR
I love you too, Deni girl, and that’s why I can’t support what you’re doing. You paid a small fortune just getting him out of high school and now —
DENI
— Please. Let’s not go there. He was accepted into art school and I need to give him another chance.
Arthur gently holds Deni’s shoulders, looks into her eyes.
ARTHUR
How many more chances does he get?
I think first, you should have drug tested him.
DENI
He promised he quit.
ARTHUR
And of course, you believed him.
DENI
I need to believe him. I need to have hope. Trust me. I’m his mother. He’s my only child. I want him to succeed.
ARTHUR
He’s twenty-four. He should have a job and not have his Mommy paying for everything.
DENI
I know, but if I don’t help him, who will? I already signed a lease and we found a great used car.
ARTHUR
Well, you better get some rest. Tomorrow’s the big move in day.
DENI
He’s very excited and I’m excited for him.
ARTHUR
You know I’m here for you, even if I don’t agree.
DENI
I do know. Thank you for loving me the way you do.
They kiss again. Deni gets out of the car. Shuts the door and throws Arthur a kiss.
EXT. RENTAL BUILDING – DAY
Deni and CHRIS (24) in jeans, black tee-shirt, hug.
DENI
Well, kiddo. We did it.
Deni looks into the parking lot, eyeballs an old car.
DENI
Take care of that car. It might be old, but it still runs.
CHRIS
Kinda like you, Mom.
DENI
Ha. Ha.
CHRIS
You know I’m joking.
DENI
I know. So, school starts in a week. I’m excited for you.
CHRIS
Me too. I’ll get my schedule this week and find a part-time job.
DENI
School’s the priority, but if you can find something for weekends, that would be great.
Chris reaches out to hug Deni. They hug.
CHRIS
I’ll make you proud. Promise. Thanks for making all this happen. I love you.
DENI
All I want is for you to be happy and have a successful life.
CHRIS
Me too, Mom.
Deni walks towards her car, turns, waves.
DENI
Keep me posted. I need to get back to work.
SPLIT SCREEN – STREET IN SOUTH BEACH, FL/DENI’S BEDROOM
EXT. STREET IN SOUTH BEACH – NIGHT
Chris stands outside of a club, handing out flyers.
A brunette bombshell with huge breasts, SHABBY, 20s, hangs all over him, a beer in her hand.
Chris makes a cell call.
INT. DENI’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Deni and Arthur sleep in high-end bedroom. Cell RINGS.
Deni sits up quickly, looks at Arthur, looks at clock.
DENI
Please, dear God.
ARTHUR
Just answer it, sweetheart.
DENI
Hello?
CHRIS
Did I wake you?
DENI
Sort of, but that’s okay. Are you okay?
CHRIS
I’m great. Just wanted you to know I got a job in marketing.
Shabby looks at him confused.
DENI
That’s wonderful.
CHRIS
Yeah, I work at night promoting clubs in South Beach.
DENI
I’m proud of you.
CHRIS
Thanks, Mom. Okay. Just wanted to let you know. I’ll call you tomorrow afternoon. Love you.
END SPLIT SCREEN
EXT. STREET IN SOUTH BEACH – CONTINUOUS
Chris hands the cell to Shabby, grabs the beer out of her hand, swigs, kisses her.
CHRIS
Thanks for the cell, Shabby. How ‘bout you score some ecstasy for us, Babe.
EXT. STREET IN SOUTH BEACH – CONTINUOUS
Chris hands the cell to Shabby.
CHRIS
Thanks, Shabby. Gotta keep the golden goose happy.
Chris grabs the beer from her hand, swigs, kisses her.
CHRIS
How ‘bout you score us some ecstasy, Babe.
INT. DENI’S BEDROOM – SAME TIME
Deni lies down, puts her head on Arthur’s chest.
DENI
He’s excited. He got a job in marketing. Thank God he’s okay.
ARTHUR
At three in the morning? I hope you’re right.
INT. CHRIS’ RENTAL APARTMENT – BEDROOM – DAY
Chris and Shabby sprawl out on a mattress, on the floor. Empty beer bottles, dirty ashtrays, clothes strewn on floor, surround them. The sun radiates into their faces. Both stare at ceiling.
INSERT: “Three Months Later”
SHABBY
I’m worried. I barely slept.
CHRIS
We have two weeks to figure it out. Mom paid til then.
SHABBY
Did you tell her yet?
CHRIS
She’ll go crazy.
SHABBY
Can you blame her?
CHRIS
She’s the one who fucked me up.
Shabby laughs.
SHABBY
That’s how I feel about my mom.
CHRIS
That’s why I love you, Babe.
SHABBY
Where will we live?
CHRIS
Don’t worry. I already have an idea.
INT. RENTAL BUILDING – RENTAL OFFICE – DAY
RENTAL AGENT (50s) sits at desk, arms folded across his chest. A cigar burns in an ashtray.
RENTAL AGENT
Nope. Besides the walls, six neighbors filed complaints on his loud music. He’s out and so is his whore.
DENI
He can’t afford a whore. I’ve met Shabby. I like her.
RENTAL AGENT
I can understand why, given what your son’s like. She’s a step above.
DENI
Just give me the keys. I’ll clean the apartment. I want my deposit back.
Rental Agent hands Deni a key.
RENTAL AGENT
Have it your way. I hope you have a strong stomach and lots of elbow grease. You gotta week.
INT. CHRIS’ RENTAL APARTMENT – LIVING ROOM – DAY
The lock CLICKS. The door opens. Walls are covered with graffiti drawings from ceiling to floor.
DENI (O.C.)
What in the hell?
RENTAL AGENT (O.C.)
I expect it to be spotless and repainted white. Good luck.
Deni enters the apartment, shuts the door. She examines the living room walls, pops her head into the bedroom. Shakes her head in disappointment.
DENI
What is wrong with you, Chris? Arthur tried to warn me.
Deni tears up, weeps, trudges out, slams the door.
RENTAL APARTMENT – LIVING ROOM – NEXT DAY
Deni and KAT (45) blonde, tall, strong, scrub the walls together. Walls are almost clean.
KAT
You know I love you like a sister. It hurts me to see what he’s doing.
DENI
If I don’t help him, who will?
KAT
I watched my parents try to save my brother for over twenty years. He bled them dry. Then, overdosed.
DENI
He swears he’s only drinking beer.
KAT
I don’t think so. This artwork’s not from beer. He flunked out of school. What does that tell you?
RENTAL APARTMENT – LIVING ROOM – NEXT DAY
Deni, Kat and ANDY (30s) strong, healthy guy, paint walls.
DENI
Thanks again for helping on your days off.
KAT
You’re one of the good ones, Andy.
ANDY
Deni’s a good boss. What Chris needs is a swift kick in the ass.
DENI
He needed that years ago. It’s my fault he’s spoiled. Once my computer company took off, I went from rags to riches. I just gave him anything he wanted.
KAT
Like my brother, he’s never had to earn anything.
ANDY
Why don’t you give him a job at ComputerDen. This way he can earn his own money and you can keep an eye on him. I’ll teach him. He can cold call for me.
KAT
Where’s he going to live now?
DENI
He can’t live with me. I moved in with Arthur.
Andy steps back, examines the walls.
ANDY
I think we’re done. I’ll take my ladder and the drop cloths to my car. Just put the lid on the can and toss everything in those big garbage bags. I’ll come back up and take all the trash to my truck.
DENI
I couldn’t have done it without both of you.
KAT
That’s what friends are for.
EXT. ARTHUR’S APARTMENT – BALCONY – NIGHT
Arthur and Deni relax having cocktails as the sun sets.
ARTHUR
You’re an amazing woman. I honestly didn’t think you’d get the four thousand back. Have you learned anything about your son?
DENI
I know he’s not responsible. I know he drinks beer and smokes pot and cigarettes. Kat found burnt joint ends in his bathroom.
ARTHUR
I’m sure he does more than pot.
DENI
Like what? I know he tried coke years ago, but he didn’t like it.
ARTHUR
At least that’s what he told you. I think your son has a drug problem, but you refuse to see it.
DENI
But he says he doesn’t.
ARTHUR
Stop believing him. You’re in denial. He’s not going to ever tell you the truth. He doesn’t want to hurt you.
Deni starts crying, stands, gazes out,
DENI
I don’t want him to die. I’m so frustrated and confused. I don’t know what to do or how to save him.
Arthur hugs Deni. She cries on his shoulder.
ARTHUR
You’ll figure it out. You just need to know you can’t trust him. This is like the hundredth time he’s disappointed you.
DENI
You’re going to shoot me.
ARTHUR
Why would I shoot you? I love you.
DENI
I hired Chris and Shabby to work at ComputerDen.
ARTHUR
You what?
DENI
There’s more… I let them move into the loft above my office. I can’t just kick them to the street.
ARTHUR
That’s exactly what you need to do.
DENI
They’re getting married. I told them it’s a great idea. Maybe a wife will help him grow up.
ARTHUR
When did you plan to tell me all of this?
DENI
Now?
INT. COMPUTER COMPANY – LOFT – DAY
August and Shabby lie on a mattress on the floor.
Make shift tables support make shift lighting.
A piece of artwork, spray pained on brown paper, hangs from a line strung across the room. Cans of spray paint clutter the floor.
Chris grabs Shabby’s left hand with his left hand and holds both hands in the air.
CHRIS
I can’t believe we’re married.
SHABBY
We really did it.
They hug each other and kiss a long time.
SHABBY
Your mom is very cool. My parents would never let us live up here like this.
CHRIS
I think she’s stupid. She believes everything I tell her.
SHABBY
Well, I like her. She’s paying us to do a job, she’s giving us a place to live and I like working with her.
CHRIS
That’s because you don’t know her like I do. She did some real stupid things with men when I was in high school.
SHABBY
So did my mom. I never wanna be a single mom. It’s gotta sucks.
CHRIS
Yeah, I guess you’re right.
INT. COMPUTER COMPANY – DENI’S OFFICE – DAY
There is a black car bumper on the floor and two computer terminals sitting on chairs in front of Deni’s desk.
Deni, looking miserable, sits at her desk.
Chris enters Deni’s office, smiling.
CHRIS
What up, Madre?
DENI
You left your car keys on your desk, so I opened your trunk.
Chris’ smile goes away.
DENI
You lied and stole two monitors from me. You also stole a bumper off someone’s car.
CHRIS
What?
DENI
Don’t what me! You are a thief and a liar. I also think you are a drug addict. I can’t do this any more.
CHRIS
Mom…
DENI
Don’t mom me. You have done nothing but disappoint me time after time. I had enough last summer and then let you back in my life again. I keep trying to help you, but you don’t help yourself.
CHRIS
I’m sorry.
DENI
You’re not sorry. I know you and Shabby are planning to move to Germany. I want you to get a passport by next week. Once you have a passport, I will pay for your one way ticket to Germany.
CHRIS
You’ll really do that?
DENI
Yes. I want you out of my life. And, don’t contact me again until you are clean and responsible. And, if you choose to never contact me again, that is fine too. That is your choice. Just go. I’m done.
INT. ARTHUR’S APARTMENT – BALCONY – THAT NIGHT
Deni sits and stares straight ahead. A pout across her face. She chews a nail. Arthur sits nearby. Both speechless.
ARTHUR
I’m sorry he’s put you through all of this. That’s exactly why I didn’t want him to spend time with my son.
DENI
I know. I just hurt. How could I be so angry with my son that I told him never to contact me again? Where has my love gone?
ARTHUR
Sadly, he’s numbed it with his out of control behavior. You’ll never stop loving him. It’s his behavior you don’t like. And, with reason.
Deni breaks down crying. Arthur kneels in front of her, takes her face in his hands.
ARTHUR
Don’t beat yourself up. The time apart will be good for you both.
DENI
I’ve failed as a mother.
EXT. MIAMI INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT – NIGHT
Arthur’s car pulls up, he gets out, opens trunk and takes a suit case and a carry-on out of the trunk.
Deni gets out of the car, stacks the carry-on on top of suitcase. Arthur and Deni hug.
SUPER: “Five Months Later”
ARTHUR
Please, don’t believe everything he tells you. I know you want to believe he’s changed and I hope he has, but take it slow. Okay?
DENI
I promise I will. I just want to see if he’s doing as well as he says he is.
ARTHUR
I’m sure he’s a fantastic barista. Just don’t get into any arguments and keep it light. I know you miss him. Just have fun.
Deni and Arthur kiss and hug again. Deni pulls her luggage towards the airport, turns and waves as Arthur drives off.
MONTAGE – DENI, CHRIS AND SHABBY HAVE FUN TOGETHER
— Chris shows Deni coffee shop where he works.
— Chris, Shabby and Deni eat and laugh at a German Beer House. All three have a mug of German beer.
CHRIS
This beer doesn’t even taste good to me any more. I’m serious.
SHABBY
We’re only drinking with you, Deni, cause you’re here. It’s tradition.
DENI
You both look great. I’m happy things are working out for you.
SHABBY
I’m back in college. My parents are thrilled.
— Deni, Chris and Shabby visit Munich Cathedral.
— Deni and Chris board a train to Salzburg, Austria.
— Deni and Chris visit Mozart’s birthplace.
— Deni and Chris walk around the streets in Salzburg laughing and having fun.
DENI
I’m so glad I came to see you. I’ve really missed you. I’m glad you’re getting your life together.
CHRIS
Thanks, Mom. Shabby and I are doing great. I’ve missed you, too.
INT. COMPUTER COMPANY – DENI’S OFFICE
Deni, busy at work, answers her landline.
SUPER: “Seven Months Later”
DENI
This is Deni.
SPLIT SCREEN – DENI’S OFFICE/CHRIS ON CELL IN MUNICH
CHRIS
(cheerful, excited)
Hi Mom!
DENI
Hi Chris! What a surprise to hear from you. Is everything okay?
CHRIS
Everything is great… sort of.
DENI
What do you mean, sort of?
Silence.
CHRIS
Mom… I want to go back home.
Silence.
CHRIS
Shabby and I want to get divorced. I can’t get a good job here because I don’t speak German. I don’t do drugs. I don’t even drink. I promise I will turn my life around if you pay my airfare home.
DENI (V.O.)
Wow! I didn’t expect that. My heart was pulled in two directions. The past year without Chris tormenting my life with his irresponsible and irrational behaviors had been wonderful. My life felt almost normal without the seesaw effects of my son’s chaotic lifestyle. And yet, my maternal instincts began jumping for joy.
DENI
Are you telling me the truth? Are you honestly not drinking and drugging, or are you telling me only what I want to hear?
CHRIS
I swear, I’m not drinking and I’m not drugging. I am tired of wasting my life. I am so unhappy here. I miss you. Please Mom, let me come home.
DENI (V.O.)
Though I didn’t miss the chaos, I did miss my son. I missed the Chris I knew he could be when sober. Please God, tell me I’m not crazy.
DENI
Of course I will pay your airfare.
DENI
(to camera)
The forever hopeful and forgiving codependent mother won out, over the angered and hopeless mother who had given up on him just one year prior.
DENI (V.O.)
Maybe there still is hope.
Chris screams into the phone like he just won the lottery.
CHRIS
I love you, Mom. You’ll see a new me. I promise.
DENI
I love you too, Chris. I can’t wait to see you again.
INT. ARTHUR AND DENI’S HOME – DINING ROOM – NIGHT
Deni and Arthur finish eating dinner.
DENI
I have something to tell you, but I don’t want you to get upset.
ARTHUR
Did you back into another mailbox?
DENI
That would be my third! But, no. It’s bigger than that.
ARTHUR
Well…? Should I keep guessing?
Deni shakes her head, takes a deep breath.
DENI
I agreed to fly Chris home. He called me today. Promised me he’s not doing any drugs or drinking and he wants to turn his life around.
Silence.
ARTHUR
I’m not upset. I knew he’d return eventually. But, I do want you to know, as long as you continue to support him, I can’t marry you.
Deni jumps up excited, hugs Arthur.
DENI
Is that a proposal?
ARTHUR
No, I —
DENI
— Yes it was!! That was a proposal.
ARTHUR
Okay, it was. One day I hope we can get married.
Deni hugs Arthur from behind, leans over his shoulder.
DENI
I love you so much. Yes! Yes, I accept your proposal!
ARTHUR
As much as I love you, I need to make one thing clear. I don’t want him staying here for more than a few days. You may trust him, but I don’t.
DENI
I understand.
ARTHUR
Also, I wouldn’t get overly enthused about Chris. He always tells you what you want to hear and then disappoints you.
DENI
I know. This time I think he really means it. After ten years of partying, he finally wants to make something of his life.
ARTHUR
Sounds familiar.
DENI
(to camera)
I knew his coming home meant I would be dipping into my savings once again, to set him up in a comfortable lifestyle. I was so thrilled hearing he was clean and sober, I would have done anything for him. After all, he was my only child. And, after all, I was his enabling, sick mother.
EXT. PARKING LOT – MIAMI INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT – DAY
Deni and Chris puts Chris’ luggage into Deni’s trunk. One large box contains a bike. Chris slams trunk shut. He turns to Deni and hugs her.
CHRIS
I can’t believe I’m home. I love you, Mom.
DENI
I love you too.
INT.- EXT. DENI’S CAR – DAY
As Deni drives, uncomfortable silence in the car.
DENI
As far as I’m concerned, the past dark years of your life are over. They are history. Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
CHRIS
Thanks, Mom.
DENI
In a few days we’ll find an apartment, so you can be independent and move on with your life.
CHRIS
I really appreciate all that you have done for me in the past and everything you’re doing now. I admit I’ve been a real shit, but I am ready to turn my life around. I promised you’ll be proud of me.
DENI
All I ever wanted is for you to find inner peace and happiness. You can’t do that when you are drinking and drugging. You told me you are clean and want to change. That is why I’m helping you again. I believe you and trust you.
DENI (V.O.)
I allowed myself to feel the first ray of hope – again. Though Arthur was usually right concerning most things, I prayed he would be wrong this time.
MONTAGE – DENI SETS CHRIS UP TO BE ON HIS OWN
— Deni and Chris sit at a table in the living room of a townhouse with the OWNER, signing a lease.
DENI
This is perfect. Five hundred a month for six months for a fully furnished townhouse.
CHRIS
The location is excellent.
DENI
I don’t want the lease to be in my name. My son is twenty-five. It’s time for him to be responsible.
LANDLADY
That’s fine. I have grown children. I understand.
The landlady turns the paperwork towards Chris. He signs the lease, looks up to Deni, smiles.
CHRIS
This lease represents a new lease on my life, Mom.
Deni and Chris laugh together.
DENI (V.O.)
I silently prayed, from his mouth to God’s ears.
DENI
I’ll pay the first and last month, but it’s your responsibility to start paying on month two.
CHRIS
Not to worry. Thanks, Mom.
— Deni purchases new clothes for Chris.
DENI
You need to look good to get a job.
CHRIS
I agree. Thanks, Mom.
— Deni purchases Chris a cell phone.
CHRIS
Mom, just get me any phone that works. I don’t need anything fancy. I just need one to find a job.
DENI (V.O.)
Is that my son speaking? Since when did he ever not want the best?
DENI
Pick out the one you want and get one of the basic plans. Remember, you’re responsible for the bills.
CHRIS
I can’t believe I finally have my own cell. Do you realize this is the first time?
DENI
Use it well and don’t forget to call when you get your first job.
— Deni purchases a used car from friend, JON.
JON
Are you nuts? Why are you buying him another car. Don’t you remember what he did to the other ones I sold you?
DENI (V.O.)
Of course I remembered, but blinded by denial, I wanted to forget.
Deni attempts to hand Jon a check for $3,500.
DENI
Please, don’t say a word. I know what you’re thinking.
Jon pushes the check back at Deni.
DON
If you know what I’m thinking, then take back the money. Let him ride a bike.
DENI
(to camera)
The car was registered in Chris’ name. I insured it for one year and gave Chris and his car my blessings.
— Deni and Chris remove food from shopping bags to stock his townhouse with food.
DENI
Well, kiddo. You have food, clothing and shelter – all you need is a job!
CHRIS
I’m confident I’ll get one. There’s tons of restaurants nearby.
DENI
I’m trusting you.
INT. DENI AND ARTHUR’S HOME – DINING ROOM – NIGHT
Deni and Arthur finish eating dinner.
ARTHUR
I agree with everything you just said. Now, what I want you to do is put it all in writing.
DENI
Really?
ARTHUR
Yes, really. You just swore this is the last time you will bail out your son. Put it in writing. If he disappoints you again, you can read what you wrote. Write down the total you just spent and make a commitment to yourself —
DENI
— And to the world..
ARTHUR
.. That should Chris fail this time and fall back into his old habits that you will never help him again.
DENI
I will. In fact, I will write it to myself and send a copy to him. You have my word.
ARTHUR
You need to do this for you. And, I’m here to support you. Believe me, I know it’s not easy for you.
INT. CHRIS’ RENTAL APARTMENT – BEDROOM – NIGHT
Chris lays in bed reading Deni’s letter. Empty beer bottles and ashtrays full of butts appear bedside.
DENI (V.O.)
I have seen Chris’ changes since quitting drugs. He is sober and sound. I believe he is capable of turning his life around. I have assisted him for the final time. I invested a total of $7,282. A drop in the bucket to rebirth my child. This is my commitment to myself and to the world, that should Ryan fail this time, that I will never help him again. So, Chris, when you finish reading this letter, please understand that I am very serious. I will always love you whether or not I hand you money again, but it’s time for you to be a man. With love always, Mom.
Chris takes a swig of beer.
CHRIS
Shit. She’s gonna kill me.
Chris dials his cell.
DENI
Hey Chris. How’s your job going?
CHRIS
I got let go for being late. I think my body’s time clock is still off from living in Europe.
DENI
That makes sense. Don’t give up. Take a little time to get your body adjusted, then look again. I can pay next month’s rent.
CHRIS
You’re not mad?
DENI
If you’re not drinking or doing drugs, I’m thrilled. I know it’s hard to adjust. Just hang in there.
DENI
(to camera)
I was very good at rationalization.
CHRIS
Rachel’s coming down from Greensboro to visit. She’s relieved I’m not with Shabby.
DENI
That’s great! I love Rachel. And, I know she loves you. You were her first boyfriend.
CHRIS
I know. And, she’s always been there for me.
DENI
Her parents love you too. She’s a gift from God. Be good to her.
CHRIS
I will be. I’ll find another job after she goes back home.
DENI
Say hello for me, okay?
CHRIS
And, don’t worry, Mom. I’m not drinking or drugging.
DENI
I’m actually not worried. Did you read the letter I wrote to myself? I want you to know, I’m serious.
CHRIS
I know. I love you, Mom.
DENI
I love you. We’ll talk later. Goodnight.
INTERCUT – RACHEL’S BEDROOM/DENI’S BEDROOM – DAY
Rachel paces nervously, then taps numbers on her cell.
Deni lies in bed, alone, reading. Her cell RINGS.
INSERT: “Two Weeks Later.”
DENI
Hello?
RACHEL
(sweet, southern accent)
Hi Deni, it’s Rachel.
DENI
Rachel, what a surprise. How the heck are you?
RACHEL
I’m fine, but it’s Chris I’m worried about.
DENI
What do you mean? Are you here in Florida?
RACHEL
No, but I was. I visited him for a week recently. I’ve been calling and calling but he doesn’t answer his phone. I’m concerned.
DENI
How many days has he not answered?
RACHEL
Today is the third day. That doesn’t seem normal. I don’t want to worry you, but you need to know, he’s drinking again. He’s very depressed. It’s his depression that has me concerned. I hope he doesn’t do anything stupid, if you know what I mean.
DENI
I do know what you mean and I hope he doesn’t either. He told me he stopped drinking and using drugs and that’s the only reason I helped him again. Honestly, I’m shocked.
DENI
(to camera)
Arthur was right. Chris always disappoints me.
RACHEL
Please don’t tell him I called you. He’ll hate me. I think a huge part of his depression is because he knows he really screwed up again.
DENI
Yes, he certainly has. If he’s still alive, I’m going to kill him. I appreciate your concern for him. I’ll drive up there today to see how he’s doing.
RACHEL
I know deep inside he’s truly a good guy. It just sucks that he can’t control his drinking.
DENI
If he’s depressed, then he’s probably sleeping a lot. It makes me extremely sad.
RACHEL
Makes me sad, too. Would you call me after you talk to him, so I know he’s alright.
DENI
Absolutely. Thanks for the heads up. I’m sure it wasn’t easy for you to call. Please, take care of yourself.
INT. DENI AND ARTHUR’S HOME – DENI’S BEDROOM – DAY
Deni leaps from bed, yanks off her her pajamas and hurries into her closet.
EXT. DENI AND ARTHUR’S HOME – GARAGE – DAY
Deni’s car quickly backs out. Speeds off.
EXT. CHRIS’ RENTAL APARTMENT – DAY
Deni rings the bell. No answer. Deni knocks. No answer. Deni knocks harder. No answer. Deni uses a key. She opens the door. Yells.
DENI
Hello? Chris? It’s your mom. Hello.
Deni steps inside a dark apartment. Shuts the door. Flicks the lights on.
DENI (V.O.)
God, please let Chris be alive. Breathe Deni, breath.
INT. CHRIS’ RENTAL APARTMENT – LIVING ROOM/KITCHEN – DAY
The apartment is a mess. Ashtrays full of cigarette butts sit on every table. Dirty dishes fill the sink with crusted food stuck on them. Mold grew in every dirty glass.
Deni shakes her head in disgust. Opens the refrigerator. It’s near empty.
DENI
Chris! Answer me.
She climbs the stairs.
INT. CHRIS’ RENTAL APARTMENT – CHRIS’ BEDROOM – DAY
The door opens into a room cluttered with beer bottles and dirty ashtrays. There’s a lump under the covers.
Deni slowly approaches the bed, bends to see if he’s breathing. A sigh of relief. Deni kicks the bed.
DENI
Chris. Chris. Wake up.
The lump speaks with his eyes closed. Contempt in the voice.
CHRIS
What are you doing here?
DENI (V.O.)
Wanting to yell my head off at him, I dug deep to find restraint, then calmly spoke.
DENI
I came to check on you out of concern, but now that I know you’re still alive, I want an explanation. You told me you stopped drinking.
Chris sits up in anger.
CHRIS
You have not right being in my home. I did not let you in. You need to leave.
DENI
I need to leave? Excuse me. Who in the hell do you think you’re speaking to?
DENI (V.O.)
I felt like a ticking bomb ready to explode. The audacity of my son made my blood pressure escalate to points it had never seen.
DENI
What’s going on with you? Talk to me.
CHRIS
I’m depressed.
DENI
You’re depressed? How do you think I’m feeling right now?
Chris hold his pillow to his scruffy face. No eye contact.
CHRIS
I’m sorry Mom. I fucked up.
DENI
Sorry does not work anymore. You can put the fucking pillow over your face, but you can’t hide from the truth.
Deni leaves his bedside in disgust.
DENI (V.O.)
My brain was racing. I walked downstairs to think and pace.
INT. CHRIS’ RENTAL APARTMENT – LIVING ROOM – DAY
Deni paces, looks around the apartment. Looks everywhere.
DENI (V.O.)
Any of his of any value is gone.
Deni screams up the stairs.
DENI
Where is your bike?
CHRIS
I pawned it. I took it where you bought those gold earrings.
Deni shouts like a crazy person.
DENI
You pawned it! Why doesn’t that surprise me? Well I’m going to go get your bike. Consider it mine.
DENI
(to camera)
Of course, this wasn’t the first time he pawned his possessions. When he studied graphic design in South Beach, he pawned every piece of computer and photography equipment I bought him. He even sold his candy-apple-red Gibson, collector’s electric guitar, that he, “just had to have,” and that I “just had to buy” to keep him happy.
Deni storms out of Chris’ townhouse.
EXT. PARKING LOT – PAWNSHOP – DAY
Deni’s car pulls into the parking lot.
Chris’ car pulls in right after.
Deni and Chris get out of their cars. Deni is fuming with anger.
CHRIS
There is no way I am going to give you the bike. It’s mine and I need the money.
DENI
(crazed)
I have given you over seven thousand dollars. I want the bike to cover part of my losses.
CHRIS
(defiant and crazed)
I don’t care what you want. It’s my bike and I’m pawning it.
DENI
No, you are not pawning it.
Deni storms into the pawn shop.
Chris waits outside, smug as hell.
Deni storms back out of pawn shop.
Chris screams at the top of his lungs, drooling, and with spit coming out of his mouth like a rapid dog.
CHRIS
I told you the bike is mine. You’re a horrible mother and I hate you!
Deni hyperventilates and spit flies out of her mouth.
DENI
I love you, but I hate your behavior. I hate the person you have become. I don’t even know you anymore. I am not going to continue paying your rent while you drink and drug. I want you out of the apartment. You have two weeks to leave. The son I remember is gone. You need to be on anti-depressants.
DENI (V.O.)
Oh my God, did I really just say that?
CHRIS
Great Mom. You tell a drug addict to take drugs. That’s real smart.
DENI
I did not tell you to take drugs. You need professional help. I cannot help you any longer.
CHRIS
You’ll be sorry, Mom. I’ll never speak to you again.
Chris turns his back, walks away towards his car.
DENI
Call your old girlfriend, Rachel. Maybe you can go live with her. You need to get out of Florida and away from all your loser friends. I’m done!
Deni storms to her car, opens the door, gets in and slams door shut.
INT./EXT. DENI’S CAR – DAY
Deni in tears, shakes as she starts the engine and drives off. After driving two long blocks, she pulls the car to the side of the road. In pain, she cries her heart out, talks to herself. Blows her nose almost constantly. Weeps. Explodes in bursts of over the top anguish.
DENI
I lost my son. I just gave him a death sentence. He’ll die with out me.
Deni blows a tremendous amount of snot from her nose.
INSERT: “One Hour Later.”
Deni takes a few deep breaths, pulls herself together, drives off.
DENI
(to camera)
This was the longest and hardest drive of my life. I felt anguished, depressed, guilty, hopeless and defeated, believing my son was going to die. How can I bare this pain?
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