Lesson 12

[Diane Phelps]

Diane Phelps’ gives great clues…

ACT 1: Introduction and Mysterious Beginnings

Step 1 – Introduction to the Characters and Setting

– Twist 1: Something planned for doesn’t happen. The girls’ arrival coincides with a sudden and unexpected storm, disrupting their initial plans for a beach day.

– A. Lindsay, Megan, and Emily are introduced as close friends, but their weekend getaway is immediately derailed.

– B. The storm creates a sense of isolation, making them vulnerable.

– C. The mysterious storm adds an element of intrigue and sets an ominous tone for their stay.

– D. The storm’s unexpected severity isolates the girls, increasing tension.

Step 2: Mysterious Occurrences

– Twist 2: Lost their resources. The strange symbols lead the girls to an old cabin, but they realize their phones and supplies have mysteriously disappeared.

– Twist 3: Someone changes sides. Emily, who initially dismissed Oliver as a conspiracy theorist, starts to believe him and secretly joins his cause.

– A. Lindsay, Megan, and Emily stumble upon the cabin, creating a sense of foreboding.

– B. The disappearance of their supplies increases their vulnerability.

– C. Emily’s shift in belief creates internal conflict within the group.

– D. Emily’s secret alliance with Oliver adds complexity to their relationships.

Step 3: Disappearance of the Girls

– Twist 4: A new problem occurs. Mayor Monroe’s agents discover that the girls are asking questions and start tracking their movements, intensifying the danger.

– Twist 5: A lie is uncovered. Lindsay finds out that her sister, Megan, had been secretly communicating with Mayor Monroe before their trip, raising suspicions about Megan’s involvement.

– A. The girls’ disappearance creates panic and sets the central mystery in motion.

– B. Mayor Monroe’s involvement in tracking the girls adds urgency and danger.

– C. Megan’s secret communications create tension within the group and cast doubt on her intentions.

– D. Lindsay’s discovery deepens the mystery and raises questions about her sister’s loyalty.

Step 4: Alex’s Investigation into Past Disappearances

– Twist 6: New consequences emerge. Alex’s investigation inadvertently leads to the exposure of a whistleblower within the “Crystal Circle Club,” putting their life in danger.

– Twist 7: New options emerge. Beck, while abducted, manages to send a coded message to Alex, revealing the existence of an underground network of resistance against the mayor.

– A. Alex’s investigation sets the stage for the overarching mystery.

– B. The whistleblower’s exposure adds a layer of intrigue and danger.

– C. Beck’s coded message offers a glimmer of hope and a new direction for Alex’s investigation.

– D. The introduction of the resistance network expands the scope of the story and provides a potential ally for Alex.

ACT 2: Uncovering Secrets and Escalating Danger

Step 5: Uncovering Clues and Secrets

– Twist 8: A mistake returns to haunt them. Lindsay, while investigating, accidentally leaves a piece of evidence behind that the villains later find, intensifying the hunt for her.

– Twist 9: A trust is violated. Oliver, whom Alex had begun to trust, disappears suddenly, leaving behind a message that suggests he might have been working for the mayor all along.

– A. Lindsay’s mistake increases the stakes and danger for her and her friends.

– B. The discovery of Oliver’s possible betrayal creates tension and doubt.

– C. The search for Lindsay intensifies as the villains close in.

– D. Oliver’s disappearance leaves Alex and the audience questioning his true allegiance.

Step 6: Mayor Monroe’s Facade

– Twist 10: We see an unexpected side of someone. Mayor Monroe’s right-hand person, Susan, is revealed to have a conscience and secretly assists Alex, providing vital information.

– Twist 11: It just got more dangerous. The “Crystal Circle Club” unveils a hidden weapon that can harness the energy source, making them an even greater threat.

– A. Susan’s revelation adds complexity to the villain’s side and offers a potential ally to Alex.

– B. The discovery of the weapon raises the stakes and escalates the danger.

– C. Susan’s internal conflict becomes a critical element in the unfolding drama.

– D. The unveiling of the weapon sets up a thrilling confrontation in the climax.

ACT 3: Climactic Resolution and Resolution

Step 7: Escalating Danger

– Twist 12: Secret identity uncovered. Alex discovers that one of the town’s seemingly innocent residents is actually the mastermind behind the energy source extraction.

– Twist 13: The worst thing possible happens. The energy source destabilizes, triggering natural disasters throughout Port Paradise, putting everyone’s lives in immediate danger.

– A. The revelation of the mastermind adds a personal and emotional dimension to the conflict.

– B. The catastrophic consequences of the energy source’s instability create a sense of urgency and chaos.

– C. Alex’s pursuit of the mastermind becomes a high-stakes showdown.

– D. The town’s perilous situation heightens the tension as the climax approaches.

Step 8: Confrontation and Revelation

– Twist 14: The “solution” makes things worse. Alex, Oliver, and the whistleblower successfully confront Mayor Monroe, but shutting down the energy source leads to an even greater catastrophe, endangering the entire town.

– A. The confrontation with Mayor Monroe reaches its climax, with the audience expecting resolution.

– B. The unintended consequences of their actions create a dramatic twist.

– C. The escalating catastrophe puts the town in jeopardy, adding layers of tension.

– D. The heroes must now grapple with the moral dilemma of their actions.

ACT 4: Climactic Resolution and Resolution

Step 9: Climactic Resolution

– Resolution: As the town faces devastation, Alex and the whistleblower must work together to find a way to stabilize the energy source and avert complete disaster.

– Resolution: Mayor Monroe is arrested, but the town is left in ruins, forcing the residents to rebuild their lives.

– A. The heroes must confront the immediate crisis and make a difficult decision.

– B. Mayor Monroe’s arrest offers a sense of justice but comes at a great cost.

– C. The town’s rebuilding process serves as a metaphorical and literal resolution.

ACT 5: Final Reflection and Closure

– Resolution: In the aftermath, Alex reflects on the consequences of their actions and the sacrifices made for the truth.

– Resolution: The film ends with Port Paradise slowly recovering, but the scars of its dark past remain, serving as a reminder of the price of uncovering its secrets.

– A. Alex’s reflection provides emotional closure for his character arc.

– B. The town’s recovery and lingering scars offer a bittersweet ending, leaving the audience with a sense of contemplation.

[Alfred Dunham]

Alfred Dunham: Gives Great Clues!

What I learned doing this assignment:

Clues are subtle, even when they are overt. They represent a holistic balance between saying too much and not enough. Tread carefully, but do tread!

HOW CLUES RELATE TO YHE MYSTERY

1. Cover-up presented as reality,

2. Mystery presented,

3. Clues that are overt or covert,

4. Final reveal that solves mystery.

DIFFERENT TYPES OF CLUES

Overt Clues: These clues will be obvious to the audience.

1. Characters discussing the mystery

2. Evidence that shows up

3. Admissions from characters

4. Accusations

5. Putting together the logic

Covert Clues: These clues will be outside our awareness until the mystery is solved.

1. Clues that show up before we even know the mystery.

2. Implied by action

3. Hidden

4. Background that later becomes foreground

5. Something that appears to be a clue for another mystery, but plays out in this one.

6. Passing discussions.

7. Things that have one meaning when first heard, but the meaning turns out to be different.

CAUTION:

Clues can cause mystery, intrigue, and/or suspense, but not confusion.

List out the three or four main mysteries in your story.

1. Who is Silas and what is he and his company up to?

2. What is going on in The Valley?

3. Why is Isabella so frightened and jumpy about every little thing. What is she hiding?

4. Who is Maximus and why is he doing this?

Create a list of clues for each of the main mysteries in your story.

1. Who is Silas and what is he and his company up to?

a. Silas is a scientific equipment salesman who knows Ryan and Ryan’s wife-to-be, Isabella.

b. But Ryan doesn’t know this, yet. Why not?

c. What does this say about Silas? – About Isabella? – About Ryan?

2. What is going on in The Valley?

a. Isabella thinks she sees a tiger. Ryan laughs it off until —

b. He imagines that he sees an extinct Venezuelan dinosaur – a Carnotauras (meaning meat-eating bull).

c. Something does not feel real, and the speak of it.

d. The night is full of strange sounds: animal sounds, children laughing, children crying, creaks and groans in the cabin…. Are they real or just imagined?

e. On the second day, the gatekeeper AND his hut are gone.

f. Isabella is struck down when she tries to pass the imaginary gateway – she convulses. This is no imagination.

g. The Valley is nothing like Silas pictured it. Is he behind this?

3. Why is Isabella so frightened and jumpy about every little thing. What is she hiding?

a. Isabela comes off as a fearful person, and it seems to be coloring her whole life. Why?

b. Isabella does not lie about knowing Silas, but she tries to hide it. What else might she be hiding?

c. Lots of tiny clues: the snake, heights, claustrophobia, her reaction to pentagrams in the cabin….

d. And the diary that just ends….

e. Ryan is more and more inclined to go along Isabella, especially when the ground fog appears.

f. Night two in the cabin becomes more and more intense: voices, doors opening and shutting, a chain dragging across the wood floor, whispers, and then ear-shattering silence. Nothing.

g. The sound of the front door opening – footsteps. Isabella’s dead mother appears in the bedroom doorway – and speaks to her.

h. Ryan doesn’t believe in ghosts and decides to engage Mother Lake with questions. She responds, in the present, to Ryan!

4. Who is Maximus, and why is he doing this?

a. Isabella, almost insane with fear, finally confesses to Maximus’ hold on her.

b. Ryan figures it out – all of it. They are being watched.

c. At first light, Ryan gathers forest wood, and, without speaking another word (and shushing Isabella), takes it into the cabin and sets it ablaze. The cabin is filled with hidden electronics. Isabella’s fear is now gone; she agrees to trust Ryan and his plan.

THRILLER MAP/PLOT – LATEST VERSION

OPENING:

MYSTERY

1. Who, after all, is Silas, and who is his boss?

2. Why the strange offer?

3. Where is this “Valley,” and why does an electronics firm own it?

4. Who is the guy at the wedding that walks off?

DANGER

1. Why is Isabella so out of joint over Sialis knowing her?

2. What is the significance of a guest leaving the wedding?

TRUST/DISTRUST

1. Ryan has no reason to distrust anyone.

2. Isabella is so fearful that anyone might learn of her family history of mental illness, that she unthinkingly creates an aura of distrust around her.

3. Maximus is a forgotten entity, to begin with, but he is absolutely NOT to be trusted.

4. Silas’ innocent hit on Isabella, sets off a chain reaction of trust/distrust.

REVEALS

1. The revelation that Isabella and Silas have already met and know each other and that he’s already made a hit on Isabella.

a. How did it get covered up?

Isabella was afraid Ryan might take it the wrong way. So they pretended not to know each other.

b. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?

Isabella’s guilt shows, and Ryan senses that something is off – being covered up.

c. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact.

It becomes a Trust/Distrust situation with a pending marriage at stake.

CLUES

a. Silas is a scientific equipment salesman who knows Ryan and Ryan’s wife-to-be, Isabella.

b. But Ryan doesn’t know this, yet. Why not?

c. What does this say about Silas? – About Isabella? – About Ryan?

INCITING EVENT:

MYSTERY

1. Does Silas actually know how to fly that old helicopter?

2. Okay. Now they’re “here” [the starting point], now what?

3. Really, now. A paid gatekeeper to The Valley? Why?

DANGER

1. The old helicopter decides to hiccup. Silas must fix it.

2. The snake in the trail upsets Isabella.

3. Isabella’s fear of heights.

4. Isabella’s claustrophobia – rock fall?

TRUST/DISTRUST

1. Ryan still has no reason to distrust anyone.

2. Isabella is surprised by Silas’ truthfulness and comes to trust him.

REVEALS

1. The realization that the Troglodyte-like gatekeeper is, in fact, not real.

a. How did it get covered up?

He is a projected hologram that looks absolutely real.

b. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?

When they return, he’s gone, along with his cabin. What happened to him? Where did he go? And the cabin? Who could have even set this up? Silas? Silas’ company – Jack Samuelson? Why?

c. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact.

Both Ryan and Isabella are left spellbound and fearful.

CLUES

a. Silas is a scientific equipment salesman who knows Ryan and Ryan’s wife-to-be, Isabella.

b. But Ryan doesn’t know this, yet. Why not?

c. What does this say about Silas? – About Isabella? – About Ryan?

TURNING POINT 1:

MYSTERY

1. Nothing feels right. The gatekeeper was weird.

2. The cabin appears new, but it is made to look old.

3. Inside, the cabin is spooky: symbols, the diary….

3. Are they alone, or not? Ryan feels eyes on the back of his neck.

4. What has Silas gotten them into? His descriptions do not fit.

5. Why is Isabella so full of fears? Ryan wonders.

DANGER

1. Are they seeing danger on their walk down Valley or just imagining it?

2. Ground fog moves in. Isabella’s fears get the best of her.

3. The night is filled with strange noises. Sleep is fitful.

TRUST/DISTRUST

1. Ryan has no reason to distrust anyone but begins to question Silas, Jack, or maybe both.

2. Isabella’s hidden fear of Maximus (unexpressed) causes her to distrust Silas again (revealed later).

REVEALS

1. The entire cabin experience is something orchestrated to give one the “willies.” It’s a setup for what is to come, and the reveal comes when Isabella’s dead mother talks back to him, and he realizes she’s a hologram speaking for someone else.

a. How did it get covered up?

Someone was behind all this. A diary that mysteriously just ends? Where did they go? What happened?

b. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?

Isabella is easily spooked. Ryan is already thinking outside the box, after the gate experience. He sees a possible connection and can’t help but voice concerns. Isabella’s life seems to be at stake.

c. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact.

It is profound enough to engage Ryan and get him thinking.

2. The realization that the “sightings” in the valley are being generated artificially.

a. How did it get covered up?

Someone set it up this way. Who?

b. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?

Isabella was harmed at the gate. There is a progression, here, and it all seems to be aimed at Isabella’s unstable underpinnings. What is he not telling Ryan? How can he help her if she’s holding back? Who stands to gain? Silas? Is this some sort of game that Silas and Isabella are playing on him? Why would she do this?

c. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact.

At first, the sightings are passed off as imagination, but with the disappearance of the gatekeeper and Isabella’s being harmed, it is developing into a pattern. Who would do this. Silas? His version of The Valley was totally different from what he and Isabella are experiencing. And it was Silas who encouraged this honeymoon.

3. The realization that they are trapped in The Valley and are in a life-and-death struggle for survival.

a. How did it get covered up?

Someone set it up this way. Who?

b. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?

Isabella was harmed at the gate. There is a progression, here, and it all seems to be aimed at Isabella’s unstable underpinnings. What is he not telling Ryan? How can he help her if she’s holding back? Who stands to gain? Silas? Is this some sort of game that Silas and Isabella are playing on him? Why would she do this?

c. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact.

The revelation (later) that Maximus may be involved takes Ryan to a whole new place with a whole new set of questions.

CLUES

a. Isabella thinks she sees a tiger. Ryan laughs it off until —

b. He imagines that he sees an extinct Venezuelan dinosaur – a Carnotauras (meaning meat-eating bull).

c. Something does not feel real, and they speak of it.

d. The night is full of strange sounds: animal sounds, children laughing, children crying, creaks and groans in the cabin…. Are they real or just imagined?

MIDPOINT TWIST:

MYSTERY

1. The cabin is weird: the symbols, the book, the night sounds….

2. Isabella wants to leave. She is frightened. Ryan agrees.

DANGER

1. Isabella is struck unconscious at the gate – convulses.

2. Ryan is now frightened. Takes her back to the cabin.

3. Is she going to be okay? Or is this just the beginning?

TRUST/DISTRUST

1. Ryan distrusts Silas.

2. Isabella openly distrusts Silas – and uses Ryan’s distrust to avoid saying more.

REVEALS

1. The realization that the plan has just evolved from driving Isabella mad to killing both of them.

a. How did it get covered up?

Someone sinister set this up

b. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?

Isabella is easily spooked. Ryan is already thinking outside the box, after the gate experience. He sees a possible connection and can’t help but voice concerns. Isabella’s life seems to be at stake, and he is feeling pressure to solve the mystery.

c. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact

Isabella’s life is clearly in Ryan’s hands, and he knows it.

2. The realization that Silas cannot be the villain. He is a Red Herring. Maybe the villain is Silas’ boss, Jack Samuelson?

a. How did it get covered up?

As with everything else, there is a clear plan at work, here, and whoever it is doing a good job of making it work.

b. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?

If it was Silas, and he and Isabella had something to hide, why would he be doing this to her? Could it be Jack? It was Jake who Silas claims suggested The Valley and gave Silas the company helicopter to take them there.

c. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact.

Ryan no longer knows who to trust.

CLUES

e. On the second day, the gatekeeper AND his hut are gone.

f. Isabella is struck down when she tries to pass the imaginary gateway – she convulses. This is no imagination.

g. The Valley is nothing like Silas pictured it. Is he behind this?

TURNING POINT 2:

MYSTERY

1. Night two in the cabin has both Isabella and Ryan spooked.

2. Who or what is doing this? For what reason? Silas? Silas boss?

3. Isabella’s mother [who is dead] appears — terrifies Isabella, and

4. She becomes Ryan’s first evidence of what might be happening.

DANGER

1. Isabella blames Silas – and thinks he’s blackmailing her.

2. Ryan at first goes along with her as his hit on her unfolds.

3. Isabella’s mother threatens her – and talks to her in the present.

4. Ryan finds this curious – realizes they’re being watched.

5. Isabella’s experience with Maximus unfolds.

6. Ryan realizes that the dangers are real.

TRUST/DISTRUST

1. Ryan’s distrust in Silas morphs into a distrust of virtually everyone, as Isabella begins to break down and reveal the truth about her mother and about Maximus’ blackmail.

2. Isabella also shifts from distrusting Silas to fearfully distrusting Maximus.

3. With nowhere else to go, Isabella finally puts all her faith in Ryan and agrees to his terrifying plan of escape.

REVEALS

1. The realization that Silas cannot be the villain. He is a Red Herring. Maybe the villain is Silas’ boss, Jack Samuelson?

a. How did it get covered up?

Isabella did not want Ryan to know about Maximus because she did not want Maximus to reveal the secret about her mother’s mental illness. And that fear got passed along to Silas.

b. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?

What is Isabella not telling Ryan that is allowing all this to happen?

c. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact.

Isabella is getting backed into a corner from which she cannot escape, and that’s more terrifying than everything else.

2. The connection that Ryan makes between what Isabella tells him about what Maximus did to her and what is happening now. Maximus’ plan is obviously on-going.

a. How did it get covered up?

Isabella did not want Ryan to know about Maximus because she did not want Maximus to reveal the secret about her mother’s mental illness.

b. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?

Maximus is clearly the one holding Isabella’s feet to the fire, and Ryan can’t help her until he knows the full truth. Maximus is all too happy to reveal Isabella’s mother.

c. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact.

The implication is that Isabella does not trust Ryan, and their marriage is already in ruins. It also suggests that Maximus has had absolute control over her all along, even though she thought she was free of him.

3. The realization that the plan has just evolved from driving Isabella mad to killing both of them.

a. How did it get covered up?

Isabella did not want Ryan to know about Maximus because she did not want Maximus to reveal the secret about her mother’s mental illness.

b. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?

Ryan’s own life is now on the line, too. It’s time to think of his own self-preservation.

c. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact.

Ryan becomes hostile to Isabella for holding him in such dangerous contempt.

CLUES

a. Isabela comes off as a fearful person, and it seems to be coloring her whole life. Why?

b. Isabella does not lie about knowing Silas, but she tries to hide it. What else might she be hiding?

c. Lots of tiny clues: the snake, heights, claustrophobia, her reaction to pentagrams in the cabin….

d. And the diary that just ends….

e. Ryan is more and more inclined to go along Isabella, especially when the ground fog appears.

f. Night two in the cabin becomes more and more intense: voices, doors opening and shutting, a chain dragging across the wood floor, whispers, and then ear shattering silence. Nothing.

g. The sound of the front door opening – footsteps. Isabella’s dead mother appears in the bedroom doorway – and speaks to her.

h. Ryan doesn’t believe in ghosts and decides to engage Mother Lake with questions. She responds, in the present, to Ryan!

CLIMAX:

MYSTERY

1. Ryan decides to test a theory….

2. How might Ryan beat Maximus at his own game?

3. Is everything being electronically orchestrated?

DANGER

1. Ryan assumes that Maximus is bent on killing them.

2. Ryan develops an escape plan, but…

3. The escape plan may be as dangerous as Maximus’ plan.

4. Ryan sets the cabin on fire, which spreads. They have no choice.

5. They must try the escape route.

TRUST/DISTRUST

1. Ryan’s success in getting Isabella to safety, together with his understanding of her mother and Maximus’ evil, affirms Bella’s faith in him.

2. Isabella’s tentative faith in Silas is also fully affirmed. He becomes a trusted friend, together with Ryan.

REVEALS

1. The revelation that Ryan has a full grasp of the situation and must use every skill he knows to defeat Maximus and escape with Isabella. He burns the cabin to the ground, and all the electronics are revealed.

a. How did it get covered up?

Maximus rigged it that way.

b. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?

They cannot leave The Valley in any ordinary way, so Ryan must know Maximus’ mind if he has any chance of survival.

c. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact.

Ryan has a plan to expose Maximus, challenge him to a dual to the death, and to see what Isabella will do – trust him or not. Isabella is beyond terrified. She confesses all her fears and agrees to follow Ryan into Hell, if necessary.

2. The unintended consequences of the fire alerting the wilderness fire towers, alerts the press, Jack Samuelson, and of course, Maximus, who never anticipated anything like this. Jack, Silas, Maximus, and a hoard of firefighters converge on The Valley, exposing everything.

a. How did it get covered up?

Maximus rigged it that way.

b. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?

The reactions of Jack and Silas uncover Maximus’ use of Samuelson Scientific, a subsidiary of Maximus’ company, to lure Ryan and Isabella into The Valley, which he owns, so he could have his way with Isabella – and Ryan.

c. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact.

Maximus arrives, enraged. He manages to crash his helicopter, but escapes, threatening to kill all of them, shooting at them with his automatic weapon and screaming obscenities – until his helicopter explodes and the shrapnel kills him.

CLUES

a. Isabella, almost insane with fear, finally confesses to Maximus’ hold on her.

b. Ryan figures it out – all of it. They are being watched.

c. At first light, Ryan gathers forest wood, and without speaking another word (and shushing Isabella), takes it into the cabin and sets it ablaze. The cabin is filled with hidden electronics. Isabella’s fear is now gone; she agrees to trust Ryan and his plan.

RESOLUTION:

MYSTERY

1. What will Ryan do, now?

2. How is he aware of what’s going on?

3. Silas and Jack have shown up, proclaiming themselves innocent.

4. The connection of Jack to Maximus has unraveled.

DANGER

1. Maximus shows up and crashes his helicopter but escapes unhurt.

2. He was enraged at the fire and threatened to kill everybody.

3. When his helicopter explodes, throwing shrapnel everywhere – he is killed.

4. Ryan and Isabella’s marriage is up in the air. They pledge to focus on their strengths and forget the past.

TRUST/DISTRUST

1. Everyone’s distrust of Maximus is confirmed

2. Isabella and Ryan agree always to be truthful and trusting in the future – to have learned a vital lesson.

3. Ryan’s faith in Samuelson Scientific is reaffirmed.

REVEALS

1. Maximus’ true, selfish, feelings for Isabella are revealed when he threatens to kill her in cold blood, choosing to narcissistically kill her rather than to allow her to live her own life [as in the movie, Laura – Clifton Webb as Waldo Lydecker).

a. How did it get covered up?

Maximus orchestrated everything, creating fear, blackmail, and using friendships, all to cover his insane desire to possess Isabella for his own purposes.

b. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?

Why would he do this?

c. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact.

Some questions can never be answered. They remain mysteries within mysteries.

CLUES

Isabella’s choice to risk it all by trusting Ryan is a good clue that they have established a workable trust in each other, and their marriage has been strengthened. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

[Monica Arisman]

Subject: Monica Gives Great Clues!

What I learned doing this assignment is this is the
first time I’ve encountered clues (I think) and I don’t know if I’m
understanding it clearly yet.

List out the three or four main
mysteries in your story.

Mystery 1: Who killed the council member?

Mystery 2: How was it done with transparency cameras everywhere?

Mystery 3: Is the Hero the murderer?

Create a list of clues for each of the main mysteries
in your story.

Mystery 1: Who killed the council member?

End Result: The Villain, Ricky, and the council member’s wife, Kelly, are the murders.

Clues:

o The council member’s personal robot “watches” him have sex with Livia

o A shadowy figure watches a computer screen from the robot’s POV

o An empty wheelchair sits in the corner of the dark room with the computer screen

o Another person enters the dark room with the computer screen

o The new arrival hands the other person a gun

o The two people in the dark room have sex

o When Livia exits the room, one of the people from the dark room screws on a silencer

o On the computer screen we see the murder through the robot’s eyes

o Or the robot has been hacked to kill the council member?

Mystery 2: How was it done with transparency cameras everywhere?

End Result: The Villain, Ricky, has compromised the cameras and certain personal robots.

Clues:

o The large computer building is illuminated by flood lights

o The lights go out

o A figure races across the parking lot to the door and breaks in

o Once inside the figure neutralizes the guards

o Ends up in the massive computer room

o Finds what s/he’s looking for and works away on a tablet

o Sabotages the transparency cameras and certain personal robots

Mystery 3: Is the Hero the murderer?

End Result: No she is not but looks guilty

Clues:

o Livia is the one having sex with the council member

o Livia sent Kelly out for a special evening

o Livia’s personal robot has been compromised

o Ricky suggests to Livia that she’s not the right person for the job

o Another council member dies when Livia is seen leaving his home

o Livia is followed and hounded by shadowy figures

o Livia receives “hate” mail

New version of Thriller Map.

Three Act Structure

OPENING:

Clues:

o The council member’s personal robot “watches” him have sex with Livia

o A shadowy figure watches a computer screen from the robot’s POV

o An empty wheelchair sits in the corner of the dark room with the computer screen

o Another person enters the dark room with the computer screen

o The new arrival hands the other person a gun

o The two people in the dark room have sex

o When Livia exits the room, one of the people from the dark room screws on a silencer

o On the computer screen we see the murder through the robot’s eyes

o Or the robot has been hacked to kill the council member?

o Trust: Livia and Kelly are friends but Kelly is disabled.

o Trust: Livia sets Kelly up for an evening out but Kelly doesn’t go.

o Distrust: Kelly watches Livia and her husband having sex.

· The Hero and the Minister are having sex.

o Trust: Livia assumes Ricky is her friend after all, he set her up with the Minister she was sleeping with.

· The Hero takes a shower. The Minister is very much alive.

· The Hero prepares to leave…

o Distrust: Livia thinks she sees Ricky in the shadows as she leaves after the authorities show up at the death of the Minister.

Mystery 1: Who killed the council member?

Life Threatening Situation 1: Did the Hero kill the Minister?

Twist – New problem Occurs:

® Twist 1: Direction: Hero takes a shower after sex.

Twist: When she finishes she finds the Minister shot to death.

INCITING INCIDENT:

· The Minister is dead.

· The Hero must inform the public via a meeting in the town square.

o Trust: Livia and Ricky discuss how to announce the news that the Minister is dead.

Life Threatening Situation 2: Bombs go off, gunfire at the rally, a bullet grazes the Hero’s shoulder.

o Distrust: Tom is trying to set up Ricky and expose him for who he really is but Livia gets caught in the mission

Twist – The worst thing possible happens.

® Twist 2: Direction: People are scattering trying to escape the gunfire.

Twist: Hero pulls a gun herself and starts shooting at the bad guys.

o Distrust: Livia is giving the public address when bombs and gunfire explode.

Mystery 2: How was it done with transparency cameras everywhere?

Clues:

o The large computer building is illuminated by flood lights

o The lights go out

o A figure races across the parking lot to the door and breaks in

o Once inside the figure neutralizes the guards

o Ends up in the massive computer room

o Finds what s/he’s looking for and works away on a tablet

o Sabotages the transparency cameras and certain personal robots

The
Hero suspects the transparency she helped create and believes so
passionately in, is being manipulated.

o Distrust: Livia sees Tom and Ricky having a drink at the government bar.

Twist – A mistake returns to haunt them.

® Twist 3: Direction: The glass society was set up to be transparent and to be a civilized society.

Twist: It’s become the wild, wild, west as someone or someone’s have found a loop hole to cause chaos.

o Distrust: It is Ricky that insists upon an investigation into the Minister’s death and the chaos at the public event and tries to circumvent the process.

TURNING POINT 1:

Villain’s PLAN 1: The Villain worms his way onto the committee selected to investigate the Minister’s death. As per the rules, the five (Hero, Villain and three other Minister’s) must be temporarily removed from the day-to-day decision making.

o Distrust: Tom sits on the investigative committee and is very chummy with Ricky.

Life Threatening Situation 3: After hours, the Hero goes on the hunt for incriminating evidence and finds it. Only it’s sabotaged with poison.

o Trust: Livia tells Ricky she has found evidence of a sinister plot to bring down the glass society.

o Distrust: The evidence was poisoned.

o Trust: Tom comes to see Livia as she realizes she’s poisoned and tries to help her.

Life Threatening Situation 4: The Villain breaks into her home and tampers with her cameras and her robot so he can watch her.

Twist – Someone changes sides

® Twist 4: Direction: The three other committee members are supposed to be neutral.

Twist: Two of them side with the Villain.

MID-POINT:

Villain’s PLAN 2: Suggests the Hero to step away from the investigation, as she is ill. And that he’s falling for her. He wants to take it to the next level to help her recover. She declines.

Mystery 3: Is the Hero the murderer?

Clues:

o Livia is the one having sex with the council member

o Livia sent Kelly out for a special evening

o Livia’s personal robot has been compromised

o Ricky suggests to Livia that she’s not the right person for the job

o Another council member dies when Livia is seen leaving his home

o Livia is followed and hounded by shadowy figures

o Livia receives “hate” mail

Villain’s PLAN 3: Has a secret team of killers who live outside the glass society.

Life Threatening Situation 5: The Villain has these killers attack her and try to kidnap her.

o Distrust: There is an attempt to kidnap Livia.

Twist – We see an unexpected side of someone.

® Twist 5: Direction: The Hero help build a transparent, safe, civilized society.

Twist: She becomes Black Widow when she’s attacked.

TURNING POINT 2:

The investigating committee confronts a high-ranking official (the red herring) who warns them to stop digging. Their investigation is gaining attention, and they find themselves under increased scrutiny and suggestions the Hero’s the murderer.

o Distrust: Jake appears to be siding with Ricky.

Life Threatening Situation 6: Betrayal as she discovers her robot and cameras are compromised.

o Distrust: Jake wants to know why Livia was sleeping with that Minister in the first place.

The Hero turns to an ally living outside the glass society to go undercover for her. He has the antidote for the poison.

o Trust: Tom helps Livia contact Jake.

o Trust: Livia seeks Jake’s help after the attempt to kidnap her.

o Trust: Jake has the antidote to the poison.

o Trust: Jake beats up Ricky.

Life Threatening Situation 7: His cover is blown and they barely escape with their lives.

o Trust: Jake is seriously wounded in defense of Livia.

Twist – A lie is uncovered.

® Twist 6: Direction: The Hero and her ally did know who they were fighting.

o Twist: They discover it’s the Villain and his plan for world domination.

® Life Threatening Situation 8: They plan to reveal him to the entire society. (NEW)

CLIMAX:

Villain’s PLAN 4: Makes a motion to have the Hero placed on leave and himself deemed Administrator.

o Distrust: Ricky pushes to have him declared administrator.

The Hero convenes a Minister meeting to unveil the evidence she has collected, naming the Villain as the mastermind. The public watches with anticipation as the truth about the glass societies corruption surfaces. The citizen’s riot.

o Distrust: Ricky then tries to shoot Livia and the other members of the committee.

Life Threatening Situation 9: The Villain pulls a gun and shoots her and several others before he is restrained.

Twist – A trust is violated.

® Twist 7: Direction: The Hero is ready to deliver her report.

Twist: The Villain reveals his true self.

RESOLUTION:

Order is restored and significant changes to the glass society is undertaken.

[Brenda Clarke]

Brenda Clarke ENGAGING CLUE TRAILS

I have been able to fill in a few holes in my outline by doing this exercise and have come up with a few more ideas which have now been added to my Thriller Map. I have also tried to include both covert/overt clues and not make them too obvious for the audience.

Casino Office: Hero sees:
Newspaper left on desk with headline of Heroin Shipment seized by Authorities in Port Melbourne.

In Car Hero hears:
About cop in China who could have betrayed The Corporation? Who is he? Why would he do this? Red Herring Character?

Now in China:
Hero finds fathers journal with shipping dates/times etc. Perhaps written in Chinese, which she doesn’t understand.

MAI:
Tells hero of Bar where Triad Soldiers hang out. Hero curious as to how she knows about this place? MAI reluctant to tell her truth – She knows someone who is soldier and may help them find her mother. Someone follows hero, she fights him off we now know she is MA expert.

TRIAD BAR:
Hero overhears conversation of men frequenting hotel and prostitutes – perhaps her mother is being held there?

Hero/MAI:
Using mothers mobile phone, track down the last location before mobile switched off. MAI says investigate Hotel/brothel. (they find mother fight 6 soldiers)

MAI Dark Laneway:
MAI meets up with strange young man (her nephew) he hands her paper, she gives him a bundle of cash tied up with elastic band.

Tattoo Parlour:
Worker identifies tattoo and says he is one of the soldiers of Triad gang, but if she wants to know who the leader of the gang is she has to pay up. She hands him money, he shows her back photographs of “Mogwai” Monster/evil spirit/devil/demons which inflict harm on humans. He doesn’t know his real name but is known simply as “The Dragon”.

NEW MAP OUTLINE

Act 1. Opening: Daughter gives a Yoga class out on lawn beside beach, in Australia. Later at home she witnesses her mother (who lives in China) being abducted by 3 Asian men whilst on a video chat with her.
She calls her father, he is not answering his phone. Father’s office has been trashed.

DANGER: Life Threatening: Are they going to kill her mother?
INTRIGUE: Why would these strange men abduct her mother? Where is her father? VILLAINS PLAN: Abduct the wife and torture her for information to the whereabouts of her husband.

Act 2. Inciting Incident: She now has to uncover the truth and rescue her mother.
Daughter rings her ex Martial Arts instructor and shows her the picture of man’s dragon tattoo. MA informs her that the men are soldiers of the Chinese Triads, who happen to operate both in Melbourne Australia/Macau China. She says that daughter must find out more information about them from her end.
Daughter realizes she needs to go deeper into the criminal underworld to find her parents. She goes undercover to Casino to seek out leads.
The daughter opens a package, takes out small electronic devise, places battery in the back and connects the device to her smart phone.
Life Threatening: She puts herself at risk should she be discovered by Triads
MYSTERY: Who are these men and what do they want with her mother? Why hasn’t she heard back from her father?
VILLAINS PLAN: Track down John and slowly torture him to death for revenge of his father’s murder.
At the Casino, she sees a Chinese Guard standing outside a door. She buys a drink at the bar goes to ladies toilets. Inside she rinses mouth out with alcohol, splashes the rest over her hair/clothes. She wets her face, so eye make-up runs, she dishevels her hair.
Watches guard till he leaves, she enters room, looking for answers sees the newspaper on desk with article:-
she finds “The Corporation” have been dealing in shipments of Heroin and a large container was seized a few weeks ago by the Australian authorities.
Someone suddenly enters room; she acts drunk and complains the Casino has robbed her of her money, whilst they try to remove her she quickly tucks the listening devise underneath a desk. They remove her.
Later in the carpark, she hears their conversation:
The Corporation are trying to track down their informer and are searching for them both in Australia and in China to assist investigation. About cop in China who could have betrayed The Corporation? Who is he? Why would he do this? Red Herring Character?

Act 3. Turning Point: Mother taped to a chair, her hands also taped. She is slapped/punched about by Triad Soldier, she doesn’t know where her husband is. He hasn’t been home for three days, he said he was “out of town on business”. She is in pain and stressed, frightened for her life.

Soldier believes her, he throws her a bottle of water, he takes out mobile phone, walks away as he dials “I believe her, she doesn’t know anything”.
INTRIGUE: Why are they punishing her if she doesn’t know anything?

SUSPENSE: are they going to kill her?

MYSTERY: Who are they? Why do they want the father/husband? Who is he talking to on the phone?

MA instructor with this new information says she must come ASAP to China to further her investigations. On flight daughter looks into Chinese Triad gangs on her lap top.
Life Threatening: She feels she is not up for it, ex teacher re assures her, she must dig deep to find her “Fighting Warrior”, fight to survive.
Introduce “The Dragon”: He arrives in smart black new Mercedes, he goes into office, Soldier accompanies him. Chinese Policeman, (Red Herring?) waiting outside is ushered in: The Dragon Accuses Policeman of informing authorities, re seizure of Heroin in Australia, he pulls a gun on him, Policeman says he is innocent. Dragon shows him a picture of father/husband, he is of interest in his fathers death, perhaps he too has something to do with seizure as he lived for a time in Australia. The Dragon, informs him this is his last chance. Cop leaves.

He has pictures of John on his desk. Asks for any updates – none. Furious, he throws a giant pop-plant at his soldier, which smashes against the wall. Says he knows this is his father’s “fucking killer” and they must find him or else they will kill his wife/ even put a bullet through his soldiers’ head.

VILLAINS PLAN: To find the hiding place of John, abduct and torture him.
Triad Soldiers interrogate mother about the whereabouts of her husband. She doesn’t know anything and says he is away “on business”. Somehow the father is involved with the Triads.

INTRIGUE: Daughter whilst searching through fathers wrecked office, picks up broken picture frame: image of father/mother/daughter (her at young age) she finds father’s secret journal with information regarding, The Corporation and their involvement with shipping Heroin into Australia. Lists of shipping details: names/dates/cargo container numbers etc. Also with various photographs of Triad tattoos.

SUSPENSE: When she leaves the office she realises that someone is tailing her, he catches up to her and starts to fight. She fights back, he collapses and she escapes.
MYSTERY/REVEAL: We find out that the daughter is a champion Martial Arts Practitioner. Daughter decides to hide this new bit of evidence from her MAI as she is not sure if she can be trusted.

MYSTERY: Why does her father have such a journal with this information that makes no sense to her. Will she find clues to help find her mother? What is her father up to and why is he in hiding? She is being followed, who is following her and what are they after?

Act 4. Midpoint:

MAI finds a location of where some of the Triad soldiers hang out. How did MAI know about this bar? The daughter not sure if she can trust the MAI, what other secrets is she keeping from her? The daughter confronts her mentor, “is she a double agent and actually works for the Triads? The daughter questions MAI motives, she is not sure if she can be trusted The MAI reveals that knows someone with shady past, with Triad criminal activities and that this is where he sometimes hangs out.

The Daughter goes to the bar by herself (as MAI may be recognised if she goes there), where she has to seek out information where they may be holding her mother. Daughter hears of a shabby hotel, where the men visit prostitutes (nearby where they may have her mother held captive).

The father/husband quickly throws some clothes/belongings into a backpack, puts on jacket and cap and escapes through a back alley.
Life Threatening: She is exposing herself once in the company of these underworld soldiers. MYSTERY: Who are these men and what do they want with her mother?

VILLAINS PLAN: Soldiers capture John and take him to the Dragon, in an abandoned warehouse.

The father runs through the streets, he is abducted by Triad Soldiers and thrown into the back of a van, The Bent Cop is present dishes out the orders.

Act 5. Turning Point: MA and daughter track mothers mobile phone to the last pin point before her phone was switched off. Her and MA Instructor find the location of a small hotel where the mother is being held, fight the soldiers who have weapons and rescue her. Fight Sequence. Life Threatening: two women outnumbered by six men.

MYSTERY: Mother explains, they are after information about her husband/father. WHY? What is going on?
VILLAINS PLAN: He is informed that the daughter is after him, he now orders his soldiers to kill her.

Mother now distrusts her husband, she reveals that he is often away “on business” and she sometimes doesn’t hear from him for days – she suspected at first that he was being unfaithful, but now realises that he is a liar and a common criminal not to be trusted.

The Dragon shoots dead an opposing Triad leader, quickly escapes detection. He now gets one of his soldiers (computer tech) to leave “video evidence” that the father/husband was in the location at the time of the shooting. This incriminates John to this murder. The Dragon uses this to manipulate the police and distance himself from the crimes. He establishes false alibis for the Murder of Triad Leader, to put the police off track.

Daughter says she is going somewhere, to follow up on a lead. MAI now suspicious of daughter, as she is not telling her everything. Mother warns her to be careful. She goes to tattoo shop, to find out if someone can identify the tattoo photographs.
Worker identifies tattoo and says he is one of the soldiers of Triad gang, but if she wants to know who the leader of the gang is she has to pay up. She hands him money, he shows her back photographs of “Mogwai” Monster/evil spirit/devil/demons which inflict harm on humans. He doesn’t know his real name but is known simply as “The Dragon”. She takes photo and leaves.

Intrigue: A rather suspect tattoo parlour with suspect characters Suspense: Is this the man who is after her and her family? Mystery: Who is this man, what is his name?

Act 6. Turning Point: Father/husband now held hostage in an abandoned warehouse, is interrogated by The Dragon. The father denies killing Dragon’s father, never knew or even met him, he states he is innocent and they have the wrong man, as he is simply a business man dealing with a very legitimate import/export business. (Beside he can prove he was in Australia at the time). The father lies.
The Dragon is informed by one of his soldiers that the Daughter/MA rescued the mother, he now instructs his solders to kill them. They continue to torture father who still refuses to give them the answers they are after.
VILLAINS PLAN: As the father, no longer giving him what he wants, he decides to take John and move him to another location, to a very remote location where the daughter will never find them and he can eventually kill father/husband. This is very difficult as John now has severe injuries, leaves a trail of blood. (he gets soldiers to untie the almost unconscious father, throw him into back of van) Soldier drives off with The Dragon sitting beside him).

Daughter/MA, help mother recoup. They see a NEWS Bulletin with Interview of Bent Cop, where her father is implicated in the murder of an opposing Triad gang Leader (compromised video from The Dragon) and is in hiding from the Chinese Authorities. Mother’s suspicions now confirmed, daughter can’t believe what her father is involved in, MAI non-committal.

MAI has secret meeting with a stranger (young man who is her nephew) in Dark Laneway, he passes her a note, she gives him a bundle of cash tied with elastic band.
INTRIGUE: who is this young man?
SUSPENSE: Is MAI involved with Triads?

MYSTERY: Is she good and can be trusted? Or is she Bad and be avoided at all costs?

LATER: MAI hands daughter an address, “What’s this”, it came from my informer. I asked him to keep an ear open for me. He says they have your father held there. She grabs note and quickly leaves.
Daughter goes to warehouse and sees her father’s blood, she follows the blood trials that go outside into the street and suddenly stop, she doesn’t know what to do?

The Daughter informs MA/mother where trial of blood was heading on the main road, must have escaped via car. INTRIGUE: Has she hit a dead end? SUSPENSE: Will she find her father alive? MYSTER: Where have they taken him?

She decides to go back to the bar to see if she can get any more leads (secretly wants to find out about “The Dragon”.

Act 7. Climax:.
She drives up to bar, before she is able to get off her bike, (just removes helmet) is chased away by Triad on his motor bike. MOTOR BIKE CHASE. He crashes, badly injured, she takes off his helmet, sees that it is MAI nephew! She hears him whisper “shan” but doesn’t know what it means (mountain) then “sorry Aunty” – he dies, she quickly leaves the scene of the accident.

Life Threatening: She now knows the Triads are onto her
MYSTERY: How is she going to rescue her father without the Triads finding her first?
Did her father really commit this recent murder? Can she trust her father?
Daughter confesses to MAI about the death of her nephew, which she is very sorry for. Reveals “Shan” MAI says it means “Mountain” they don’t know what it means.

Daughter shares “The Dragon” name/photograph given to her by tattoo artist, MA googles The Dragons real name and searches his family history. She finds the grandfathers original home up in the mountains. Nephew was trying to help them with a clue, MAI cries for her nephew, know that he wasn’t a bad person after all.

The Daughter wants MA to stay and protect her mother, that she must do this herself.

The Dragon fists bloodied, father/husband almost unconscious. The daughter travels up into the Mountains, to his grandfather’s home in a small isolated village. She kills the guard outside the home and then kills the second soldier inside the home who happens to be the Bent Cop, before she finally confronts the Villain.

A fight to the death ensues, he dies. She rescues her father and reunites him with his wife/mother.
Life Threatening: Fight to the death
MYSTERY: Why is the Villain after John?

VILLAINS PLAN: Slowly torture John to death as he killed his father.

Act 8. Resolution: The family are reunited with MA.
The Father explains his innocence in the Triad murder and says he was set up by the Dragon. BUT reveals he is an undercover agent (CIA operative) who has been working to arrest/destroy The Corporation with regards to them trafficking Heroin from China into Australia.

Daughter gives father his journal, he is grateful as this is evidence he has to hand in for his report.

He also reveals years ago, in the line of duty shot The Dragons father. (maybe flashback?)
He also exposed the Heroin shipment to Australia, as he was following leads from a police informant, which is why all of a sudden the Corporation were desperate to seek out and track their informer down. Father suggests feedback Bent Cop was informer & they feed back the info to the Corporation in Australia, MAI reveals her nephew, was trying to help her he was a good person. Father/husband agrees, so as not to blow his cover.

MA reveals that many years ago when her father first came to China that she was one of his informants and has been helping him with his cases, ever since.

The daughter now faces the aftermath of her ordeal and the challenges of rebuilding her life with her family.

MYSTERY: Does the daughter go back to being a Yoga Instructor or does she go on a different path? Join her father in becoming a spy?

[Kelly Joseph]

Kelly Gives Great Clues

What I learned? I learned again and again that if I just really break down the steps the ideas start to come.

Mysteries:

Mystery 1: Who was her brother talking to online?

Mystery 2 Who is this soccer mom lady?

Mystery 3: Who is this Greystorm character?

Mystery 4: What is this group planning?

Mystery 5: Who is unleashing this code?

Mystery 6: Is Connor the leader?RED HERRING

Mystery 7: Who is really behind this?

REVEALS

He was talking to a soccer mom.

He is the leader of an online terrorist cell.

They are planning to shoot up the DMV.

He was being controlled by a computer system.

Connor is unleashing the code.

Connor is not the leader.He is a victim.

Bennet is the person behind this plot.

Mystery 1: Who was her brother talking to online?

Reveal: He was talking to a soccer mom.

Clues:

Avery discovers a series of encrypted messages on her brother’s computer.

She notices that the messages mention mundane, everyday topics, which seems unusual for someone involved in a serious conspiracy.

Avery traces one message back to a social media profile with an innocent-looking soccer mom persona.

She finds a hidden chat log with detailed discussions that seem out of place for the soccer mom’s public image.

Avery discovers that her brother was manipulated into online conversations, making her wonder who was behind this.

Mystery 2: Who is this soccer mom lady?

Reveal: She is the leader of an online terrorist cell.

Clues:

Avery investigates the soccer mom’s online activities and notices patterns of communication with various users.

She finds encrypted files on her brother’s computer containing plans for terrorist acts, all linked to the soccer mom’s chat history.

Avery uncovers messages suggesting that the soccer mom is orchestrating these acts and recruiting others.

She infiltrates an online forum where the soccer mom recruits members, discovering their radical intentions.

Avery stumbles upon a hidden website where the soccer mom’s true identity as the terrorist cell’s leader is exposed.

Mystery 3: Who is this Greystorm character?

Reveal: They are planning to shoot up the DMV.

Clues:

Avery intercepts encrypted messages referring to a mysterious figure named Greystorm.

She notices discussions about a “storm” being planned but is uncertain about the target.

Avery discovers plans related to a public place, the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV), which is the potential target.

She intercepts messages detailing the date and time of the planned attack at the DMV.

Avery connects the dots between Greystorm and the impending threat to the DMV, realizing the severity of the situation.

Mystery 4: What is this group planning?

Reveal: They are being controlled by a computer system.

Clues:

Avery investigates the members of the terrorist group and their behavior patterns.

She notices that the group members often act in unison and follow specific instructions without question.

Avery intercepts messages that reveal references to a “mastermind” or “controller” guiding the group’s actions.

She uncovers evidence suggesting that the group members are manipulated by a centralized computer system.

Avery finds a way to track the source of the commands, leading her to the revelation that they are being controlled by technology.

Mystery 5: Who is unleashing this code?

Reveal: Connor is unleashing the code.

Clues:

Avery’s investigation into the origins of the mind hacking code leads her to various online forums.

She discovers traces of the code being distributed through an anonymous user’s online profile.

Avery tracks the code back to its source and identifies Connor as the uploader.

Suspicion initially falls on Connor as the perpetrator behind the code’s release.

As Avery delves deeper, she uncovers Connor’s involvement and motives, revealing his role in unleashing the code.

Mystery 6: Is Connor the leader?

Reveal: Connor is not the leader. He is a victim.

Clues:

Avery’s initial investigation points to Connor as the potential leader of the terrorist group.

She uncovers evidence of his participation in online discussions and planning.

Avery confronts Connor, leading to his confession of uploading the code but denying any leadership role.

Further digging reveals that Connor was manipulated and coerced into his actions.

Avery unearths information about the true leader, dispelling the notion that Connor is in charge.

Mystery 7: Who is really behind this?

Reveal: Bennet is the person behind this plot.

Clues:

Avery’s investigation uncovers multiple layers of the conspiracy, with various players involved.

She follows a trail of encrypted communications that eventually lead her to a key figure, Bennet.

Avery discovers that Bennet has been pulling the strings behind the scenes.

Suspicion initially falls on other characters, creating confusion about the true mastermind.

As Avery gathers enough evidence, she unveils Bennet’s role as the orchestrator of the entire plot, bringing the true antagonist to light.

Act 1:

Opening:

We meet Avery, an agoraphobic hacker who rarely leaves her apartment. She’s introverted and scared of the outside world due to a traumatic past. We see her daily life, focused on her computer and isolated from society.

Inciting Incident:

Avery’s brother, the only person she cares about, is arrested for attempted murder. She begins doing research.

Mystery 1: Who was her brother talking to online?

Reveal: He was talking to a soccer mom.

Cover-up: Avery initially assumes it’s just harmless online chatting.

Trust Sequence:

TRUST: Avery trusts her brother and believes he was not involved in anything harmful.

DISTRUST: As she delves into his online conversations, doubts arise about his innocence.

TRUST: Despite her doubts, Avery still wants to believe her brother is innocent.

Mystery 2: Who is this soccer mom lady?

Reveal: She is the leader of an online terrorist cell.

Cover-up: The soccer mom’s online persona seems innocent at first.

Trust Sequence:

TRUST: Avery initially believes the soccer mom is just an ordinary online acquaintance.

DISTRUST: As she uncovers the soccer mom’s true identity and intentions, she becomes suspicious.

TRUST: Avery’s determination to help her brother leads her to continue investigating the soccer mom.

Act 1 Turning Point:

Avery makes the decision to leave her apartment for the first time in years. She ventures into the outside world to gather information.

Mystery 3: Who is this Greystorm character?

Reveal: They are planning to shoot up the DMV.

Cover-up: Greystorm’s true intentions are not immediately clear.

Trust Sequence:

TRUST: Avery believes her mission to uncover the truth is justified.

DISTRUST: As she uncovers the plans related to the DMV, she realizes the severity of the situation.

TRUST: Avery remains committed to stopping the attack on the DMV.

Mystery 4: What is this group planning?

Reveal: They are being controlled by a computer system.

Cover-up: The group’s actions are initially seen as random and unrelated.

Trust Sequence:

TRUST: Avery initially thinks the group’s actions are coincidental.

DISTRUST: As she investigates further, she suspects there’s a mastermind behind the group’s actions.

TRUST: Avery’s determination to uncover the truth drives her to dig deeper into the group’s activities.

Act 2:

Mystery 5: Who is unleashing this code?

Reveal: Connor is unleashing the code.

Cover-up: Connor’s involvement remains hidden for a while.

Trust Sequence:

TRUST: Avery trusts Connor as a potential ally in her investigation.

DISTRUST: Suspicion arises when she discovers Connor’s connection to the code.

TRUST: Despite her doubts, Avery decides to confront Connor to learn the truth.

Mystery 6: Is Connor the leader?

Reveal: Connor is not the leader. He is a victim.

Cover-up: Initial suspicions about Connor’s leadership role are a misdirection.

Trust Sequence:

TRUST: Avery suspects Connor may be the leader behind the mind hacking system.

DISTRUST: Connor’s confession of involvement, but denial of leadership, causes confusion.

TRUST: Avery continues her quest for answers, considering Connor as an ally against the true mastermind.

Midpoint:

Avery’s investigation uncovers the extent of the mind hacking system’s influence and its connection to a powerful figure, Bennet, who seems to be behind it all. She realizes that her own life is in danger.

Mystery 7: Who is really behind this?

Reveal: Bennet is the person behind this plot.

Cover-up: Bennet’s actions and influence in the background subtly hint at his involvement without direct revelation.

Trust Sequence:

TRUST: Avery initially doesn’t suspect Bennet’s involvement in the conspiracy.

DISTRUST: As she unravels the mystery, she becomes increasingly suspicious of his role.

TRUST: Avery confronts Bennet in a high-stakes showdown, determined to expose the truth.

[Gisele FRAZEUR]

Gisele Frazeur Gives Great Clues! 12

What I learned doing this assignment is: I need to sit in the audience’s shoes in order to determine if a clue is overt or covert. How will they perceive it?

Mystery number 1: Who killed Livie and why?

End Result: A gang was agitated by Leff-T’s charity helping a key member’s successful extraction and relocation. Since Leff-T and his followers were boycotting and harassing perfumer, Darin August – – the gang thought they could easily frame Leff-T for Livie’s murder.

Clues / Overt & Covert

– Forcible removal of a man’s toe in the opening scene. We never see the man’s face…..only the brutal removal of the toe.

– A limping Leff-T delivering an envelope of cash in a clandestine meeting in a seedy neighborhood in the middle of the night. He tells the person her gives the cash to, “Get it done!”

– Threatening phone call Darin gets before the awards ceremony.

– Leff-T’s protesters picketing and harassing Darin and Livie outside of Darin’s awards ceremony.

– Phone call Darin gets before the ceremony.

– Toe being placed in the hors d’oeuvre and intentionally given to Livie.

– Protesters harassing Darin and Livie exiting the ceremony.

– Leaking of Darin’s juvie record to paparazzi before Livie’s funeral.

– Hank informing Darin of Leff-t’s criminal record. He was involved in a gang in his youth. Committed a murder. Did prison time. Still has close ties within the gang community.

– Threatening, anonymous mail Darin receives at home.

– Leff-T watching Darin’s house from afar under cover of night.

– Leaking of photos of Darin drinking to the press and her boss.

– Leff-T showing up at same AA meeting as Darin – – in a city as vast as Los Angeles.

– Leff-T owning the same caliber gun as was used to kill Livie. His weapon is missing.

Mystery number 2: What is Leff-t’s story? What does it have to do with Darin and is he the killer?

End Result: Leff-T did not kill Livie. He entered a gang as a youth to try to extract his younger brother – – who was in deep. Leff-T killed a man in self defense attempting to protect his brother. He did time in prison because of this. He becomes a Christian rapper – – then a minister. After his release he forms a foundation to help gang members get out of the life and start over. Foundation offers tattoo removal, job training, legal services, relocation services. He approached Darin’s perfume house trying to get a celebrity fragrance made – – the proceeds of which could supply ongoing funding to his foundation. When turned down – – he is so angry he calls for a boycott of Darin’s perfumes and The House of Bonfil to exert public pressure on them. It takes on momentum and lands him the position of being suspected of Livie’s murder. His suspicious meeting with the money transfer was to facilitate the extraction and relocation of a high-profile gang member. Extraction of this gang member angers the gang, and they frame Leff-T for Livie’s murder. Leff-T is limping because of a sports injury.

Clues / Overt and Covert

– Clandestine meeting within seedy neighborhood in the middle of the night. He tells the person he gives the cash to, “Get it done!”

– Leff-T limping.

– Leff-t Watching Darin’s house under cover of night.

– Leff-T showing up at same AA meeting as Darin.

Mystery number 3: Why did Pookie fail to scent drugs at a drug bust with Hank? What does Pookie’s erratic behavior mean and what is she trying so desperately and fervently to communicate to Darin?

End Result: Pookie was set up by Hank to fail to scent drugs at several potential drug busts. Hank gleaned from Darin that violets arrest one’s sense of smell. In order to appease a drug lord who owns him – because he gets cocaine from him and has sex with his hooker daughter – – he volunteers to deploy the violets at drug busts to keep sniffer dogs from detecting the presence of drugs. Thus guarantees the undetected smuggling of them. Pookie is a finely tuned instrument- – experiences dissonance and turmoil for having failed at “her job”. Hank has to retire her a fabricate a reason why when she becomes so agitated it might cast suspicion on him. Pookie tries to communicate that she did not fail – – the violets were the problem.

Clues / Overt & Covert

– Pookie barks at Darin when she applies her violet-based perfume.

– Pookie attacks the violets delivered to the house as sympathy flowers.

– Pookie snarls at a woman wearing a violet based perfume.

– Pookie refuses her medication.

– Pookie tears at violets in dog park.

– Pookie digs up Darin’s flower beds.

Mystery Number 4: What is Hank’s involvement in his wife’s murder? Is he the killer?

End Result: Hank is not the killer. His wife was fed the hors d’ oeuvres that evening to send him a message by the drug lord to keep him compliant and in line. Livie was actually killed by a gang retaliating against Leff-T’s charity for successful extraction of one of their key players. While Hank’s involvement with the drug lord helped set Livie’s murder in motion – – he is not the actual killer.

Clues / Overt & Covert

– Hank encourage Darin to drink – – even though she is a recovering alcoholic.

– Hank sleeps with Darin.

– Hank has Darin surveilled.

– Hank Leaks Darin’s juvie record to the paparazzi.

– Hank leaks photos of Darin drinking to the press and her boss.

– Hank retires Pookie.

– Hank lies about Pookie having a medical condition.

– Hank sleeps with his socks on.

– Darin finds a card for a divorce attorney in Livie’s things.

– Hank engages Darin in scientific conversations to attempt to extract useful intel from her to keep narcotics dogs from scenting out drugs.

– Hank’s vehemence that Leff-t is guilty even after having been exonerated.

– Darin’s vet saying Pookie is in perfect health.

– Leff-T receiving intel that Hank is in bed with a drug lord.

– Narcotics offer who has approached Dharma with footage of Pookie’s failed drug busts ends up dead.

– Hank breaking into Darin’s lab.

Opening: scene of a man having his pinkie toe cut off while he is being held down.

Cut to: A limping Leff-t is in seedy neighborhood in the dead of night. Passes substantial envelope of cash to someone and instructs them to “Get it done!”

Act 1 : Renowned perfumer Darin August prepares to attend an awards ceremony with her pregnant sister, Livie Sanford. Pookie, her brother-in-law’s retired narcotic dog goes inexplicably berserk when she dons her violet perfume. The evening is rife with turmoil. Picketers block the entrance to the ceremonial hall. Darin receives threatening phone calls. At the reception someone chokes on an hors d’ oeuvres laced with a human toe which results in Darin performing an emergency tracheotomy on them. They are harassed again by protestors exiting the evening’s festivities.

Distrust: Leff-T has publicly called upon his followers to boycott Darin’s perfumes. His followers are fervently and not so peacefully protesting outside of her awards ceremony. This makes her distrust and suspect him.

Life threatening 1: Phone call to Darin.

Mystery 1: Who is making threats to Darin and why?

Distrust: Is Leff-T behind the phone calls as well?

Mystery 2: Why are people protesting Darin at the awards?

Life threatening 2: Laced hors d’oeuvres.

Mystery 3: Who wants to harm Livie and why?

Mystery 4: Whose toe is the meatball laced with?

Distrust: Is Leff-T responsible for the laced hors d’ oeuvres?

Twist 1: Something planned for doesn’t happen:

Direction: Hors d’oeuvres laced with toe is given to Livie by waiter.

Twist: Livie sneezes and puts plate down on adjacent table. Another guest picks up hors d’ oeuvres and commences choking on it.

Villains plan: To instill fear in Darin. To cast suspicion on Leff-T.

Inciting Incident: Upon returning home from the awards Darin is knocked unconscious and Livie is shot – -outside of Darin’s home.

Twist 2: It just got more dangerous.

Direction: Livie opens the door to let Pookie out to pee.

Twist: Armed assailants emerge from the home – – knocking Darin unconscious and shooting Livie.

Life threatening 3: Physical attack on Darin and Livie.

Mystery 5: Who is responsible for the attack?

Turning Point 1: While being treated at the hospital Darin learns of her pregnant sister’s death.

Mystery 6: Why would someone kill Livie?

Mystery 7: What is Leff-T’s beef with Darin – – and did he do it?

Distrust: Leff-T must be responsible in her mind. Nothing else makes sense.

Villain’s plan 2: To send a message to Hank to keep in line and compliant “or else”.

Act 2: Darin investigates Leff-T – – the man she suspects of her sister’s murder. He is a gangster, gone rapper, gone televangelist. She turned down a commission to make a celebrity fragrance for him. He had called upon his followers and parishioners to boycott her fragrances and the perfume house she works for. In a downward spiral she resumes drinking (she is a recovering alcoholic) and begins a sexual relationship with Livie’s husband, Hank Sanford. Pookie’s erratic behavior escalates. She attacks flowers sent in sympathy to the house. She digs up Darin’s flower beds.

Twist 3: A mistake returns to haunt them.

Direction: Darin arrives at her sister’s funeral to find paparazzi.

Twist: They inform her she is suspect – – that her juvie record has been leaked to the press – and ask why she killed her stepfather.

Mystery 8: Darin’s mother refers to Darin having killed her husband. What is the story here?

Distrust: Because of the past – – Darin’s mom really believes that Darin might be responsible for Livie’s death.

Distrust: Is Darin’s mom so spiteful she leaked Darin’s juvie record to the police as revenge?

Mystery 9: How was Darin’s juvie record unsealed?

Mystery 10: Who leaked her juvie record to the press?

Trust: Hank – – like a knight in shining armor- – comes to Darin’s rescue and defense when her mom attacks her at Livie’s funeral.

Life Threatening 4: Anonymous death threat mailed to Darin’s home.

Trust: Hank tells Darin to keep Pookie for protection and presents her with a gun for the selfsame purpose. Makes her feel looked out for and protected.

Mystery11: Who sent it?

Mystery 12: Who wants her dead.

Mystery 13: Why has Hank really encouraged her to resume drinking – – as he knows she battles with alcoholism?

Mystery14: Why would Hank have sex with his recently deceased, pregnant wife’s sister? Seems ice cold and heartless.

Distrust: Darin awakens ashamed for having imbibed and having slept with Hank. This creates distrust for him.

Life threatening 5: Leff-T is surveilling Darin.

Mystery 15: Who leaked photos of her drunk to the press and her boss?

Distrust: More chaos being created for her behind the scenes. As boycott continues – – she still suspects Leff-T.

Villain’s plan 3: To keep Darin off balance – therefore malleable and manipulatable.

Turning Point 2: Leff-T is cleared as a suspect.

Twist 4: We see an unexpected side of someone.

Direction: Darin has gone to Leff-T’s house – – drunk and brandishing a firearm. She shoots at the exterior of his home and security cameras. She ultimately passes out outside of his house on the sidewalk.

Twist: Leff-T see this on the security camera and tells his security guard he will “take care of it.” He carries her in the house and puts her to bed, tucks her in, and gives Pookie a chew toy.

Twist 5: We see an unexpected side of someone.

Direction: Darin awakens at home after blackout at Leff-T’s the night before. She is in a blind panic. Does not know how she got there. Cup of piping hot coffee on table next to her. Is someone else in her home?

Twist: She finds a note left by Leff-T telling her to watch the news at 11AM. He has also left some dog toys for Pookie. She watches the news conference. Leff-T has been cleared as a suspect. He gives a public apology to Darin for the boycott and asks his followers to stand down.

Trust: Leff-T brought her home safely. He was exonerated. He publicly apologizes to her on TV and calls for his followers to stand down.

Life threatening 6: The real killer is still out there.

Mystery 16: Who is the real killer?

Act 3: Darin gets back on the wagon. After receiving intel from Leff-T indicating suspicious activity on the part of her narcotics officer brother-in-law, Hank Sanford, she begins investigating Hank. She enlists the aid of her friend, Dharma to aid in the investigation. Dharma trains dogs and thinks Pookie’s strange behavior might be the key. Darin takes Pookie to the vet only to find out Hank had lied to her and Pookie has no health problems which would have forced her retirement.

Mystery 17: What is Pookie – – Hank’s retired narcotics dog – – attempting to communicate to Darin?

Mystery 18: Why is Hank so vehemently opposed to Darin’s burgeoning friendship with Leff-T – even though Leff-T has been cleared?

Distrust: Darin is suspicious of Hank’s continued finger pointing at Leff-T – – after he has been exonerated…..and she has been speaking to and researching Leff-T – – and believes in his innocence.

Twist 6: A lie is uncovered.

Direction: Darin puts on a sweater of Livie’s to comfort herself.

Twist: She finds the business card of a divorce attorney in the pocket of Livie’s sweater.

Life Threatening 7: Someone leaves poison out for Pookie. Darin smells poison and averts crises.

Mystery 19: What does Pookie know that has someone gunning for her?

Mystery 20: Who is behind trying to poison Pookie?

Life Threatening 8: Officer who has agreed to meet with Darin and Dharma to discuss circumstances of Pookie’s failed drug bust and subsequent termination – – is murdered.

Mystery 21: Who killed the narcotic’s officer and why?

Mystery 22: What has Pookie so agitated when Darin and Dharma run scenting tests on her?

Twist 7: Secret identity uncovered.

Direction: Hank tells his colleague he is going to meet with an informant.

Twist: The man waiting for him in the car is no informant. It is a drug lord. He has been blackmailing Hank.

Twist 8: The worst possible thing happens.

Direction: Darin has been throwing up. She thinks she has been withdrawing from alcohol.

Twist: She finds out she is pregnant with Hank’s child

Distrust: Darin confronts Hank about the card of divorce lawyer she found in Livie’s sweater. Hank says Livie had been having an affair. Darin does not believe this. Distrusts him.

Villain’s plan 4: To keep Darin off his scent.

Turning Point 3: Dharma has requested a meet-up with Darin because she has important intel to share. She overdoses at the restaurant while waiting for Darin to show.

Life threatening 9: Dharma being overdosed.

Mystery 23: Who overdosed Dharma and why?

Distrust: Darin distrusts Hank because Dharma was going to tell her something about Hank.

Twist 9: A new problem occurs.

Direction: Darin goes to restaurant to meet Dharma. Dharma has summoned her with the promise of useful intel.

Twist: Dharma is being wheeled out on a stretcher to an ambulance upon Darin’s arrival. She is informed Dharma (a recovering addict) has overdosed.

Villain’s plan 6: To keep Darin from learning the truth of his guilt.

Leff-T and Darin pour through Dharma’s notebook. They discover a note on doe estrus being used to throw off scenting dogs at drug busts. The answers begin coming into focus as to what Hank might have been up to.

Act 4: Darin figures it out.

Mystery 24: Why does Hank sleep with his socks on?

Mystery 25: What is it about violets that makes Pookie go Berserk?

Twist 10: A trust is violated. A lie is uncovered.

Direction: Darin goes to Hank’s house to get information from him. She brings booze, gets him drunk and snoops around his house. She has been drinking iced tea from a whisky bottle. She lures him into a conversation about civetone making dogs go nuts. She discovers his bloody left socks after rummaging through his hamper. She sneaks out – – having accidentally left the bottle of iced tea behind in the bathroom. She goes to her lab and replaces the civetone with another chemical. She calls up Leff-T and agrees to meet him at her house to share all she has learned before they go to the police.

Twist: Hank awakens thinking she is back under his control……only to discover there is iced tea in the booze bottle from which she had been drinking. He also discovers she went through his dirty laundry and has discovered the bloody socks. Hank breaks into Darin’s lab and steals the bottle marked as civetone.

Distrust: Darin has conned him. He knows she is on to him.

Life Threatening 10: Hank and his new dog go to a drug bust at the airport. He sprays his dog’s leash with what he thinks is civetone. The dogs successfully scents drugs being transported anyway. He has failed. He see’s one of the drug lord’s henchmen there. He knows he is a dead man. He flees home. Packs. Get money and guns from his safe and heads to Darin’s to tie up loose ends before he leaves.

Twist 11: It just got more dangerous. Secret identity uncovered.

Direction: Darin and Leff-T have agreed to meet at her house to share intel and formulate a gameplan.

Twist 12: She arrives to find Leff-T being held hostage by a crazed and drunken Hank.

Climax: Upon arrival at her home Darin discovers that Leff-T has been kidnapped by Hank. Darin confronts Hank with what she knows about him using scientific information he has been gleaning from her to make his narcotics dog fail to scent contraband at potential drug busts. Darin buys them time by confessing she is pregnant with Hank’s child. Hank confesses everything. Decides he will bring Darin on the run with him. A shoot out ensues. Hank is shot by Leff-T.

Life threatening 11: Hank finds Leff-T at Darin’s house. Holds him hostage. Uses him as bait to get Darin.

Mystery 26: What was Hank’s role in Livie’s death?

Life threatening 11: Hank prepares to kill Darin.

Life threatening 12: Hank pushes Leff-t – – who is tied to a chair – – in the pool to drown.

Trust: Leff-T saves Darin

Villain’s plan 7: To escape the drug lords coming to kill him. To tie up loose ends.

Resolution: Leff-T, Darin’s baby (Livie), and Dharma attend the FiFi Awards (perfume industry) with Darin. She dedicates her award to her deceased sister and informs the audience of newest release: a fragrance created for Leff-T’s non-for-profit benefiting reformed gang members and their families.

Twist 12: New options emerge.

Direction: Leff-T attends awards ceremony with Darin’s baby girl in tow.

Twist: Leff-T and Darin are now a couple. She kept Hank’s baby and is married to Leff-T.

Trust: Leff-T and Darin are now married. Clearly, they trust one another. He is raising her baby with Hank.

[Timothy Barley]

Tim Barley Gives Great Clues

What I learned from doing this is that I have a wild and hard to handle story that needs me to stand at 10k feet and look at it. Peppering in clues is where I have to take a look at what I have and really start to make sense of it.

The Four MAIN Mysteries of “Travel by Night”

1. What is (or is in) the package?

2. Who or what is Nocturne and why does he want to stop The Courier?

3. Who is Astra really?

4. What is The Night World?

5. Who is betraying The Courier?

6. Who’s been helping The Courier?

Mystery #1. What is (in) the package?

Reveal: at the end, only The Courier knows as he looks into it (but, it may be a piece of night, a soul, cryptocurrency, a small nuke).

Clues:

It’s a sphere, made of unknown metal.

It’s cold to the touch.

Mystery #2. Who or what is Nocture and what is his game?

Reveal: it’s a future version of himself

Clues:

Mystery #3. Who is Astra really?

Reveal: Astra is actually Nyte – a high ranking member of The Night Authority, perhaps even Nyx herself, the goddess of night.

Clues:

She just happens to be at the first stop he makes

Astra: “I knew you’d be here”

Her hair changes color subtly in different light

She knows how to find Bazaar

Night folk move out of her way

She asks The Courier about his past, which she already knows

Mystery #4. What is the Night World

Reveal: The Night World, run by The Night Authority (or Authority) is the world that begins when the sun goes down and night falls across the land. It is at it’s most powerful and dangerous when there is a new moon.

Clues:

Nothing happens until dusk

The denizens of The Night World open shop after everyone else is safely at home

Separate ID’s for the NW

Markings on cars on license plates and elsewhere that only show up in certain light that marks them as part of the nigh.

Tattoos with similar markings

Trade with separate currency types

Specific acknowledgements between those who know

Mystery #5. Who is betraying the courier?

Reveal: turns out, it’s his old partner and one time friend, Cruz

Clues:

Someone had to know where his primary transport was to sabotage it

Has a new vehicle

Knows a lot about the package and its destination

Admits that it’s confusing to him that The Courier is still going forward when “you’ve asked me to do these things.”

Mystery #6. Who’s been helping the courier?

Reveal: turns out, it’s the newbie, Griffin, great auto mechanic and wannabe mentee

Clues:

He and Astra are released as someone spoke up for them

Thriller Map: Latest Version [working separately, will add later]

[Jamie Stegner]

Jamie Stegner Clue Trails

What I learned: Start at the end and work forward. Carefully planned clues and mysteries can get more complex without being confusing if planned one at a time and added to thriller map.

List of mysteries:

1. What did Mother do with the money? $1MM ten times. Hundred dollar bills – a tote bag. A brief case. Not that big. 10x. [truth: there is no money. She got $10,000 and has spent all. Forged the bank papers to look like $10MM to keep the children fighting to the death and remain in the house with her forever.]

Clues: (the forgeries) the old mail, some unopened that looks authentic. Bank statements false, but sealed like unopened mail showing withdrawals of $1MM in cash, Once a month for the 10 months. One hundred dollar bills. [ Until she lay down in her bed and died about 9 months ago. ]

Clue: B overhear S tell H about the $10MM and is furious, therefore he doesn’t know about this. He has not received special treatment from Mother as S accuses.

Clue: They find small amounts of cash, $100 bills, just a few hundred. Variety of places. (teasers)

Clue: Susan’s report of her previous call to the bank says account is almost empty. No mention of millions.

Clue: (misleading) Canned ham in the kitchen cupboard. Mother wouldn’t buy that; no one would eat that! Has someone else been around? The grounds don’t look kept. House is in dis-repair. The house is dusty – no housekeeper lately.

Clue: All four are searching the house and not finding much cash, certainly not $1MM.

2. Why Ten Million life insurance? Seems like a lot.

Clue: W mentions Fri evening during discussion but is disregarded.

Clue: W brings up ridiculous amount again on Saturday afternoon over tea. Causes S to look again and find the fraud in the bank statements – there is no money !! Mother’s forgery; typical Mother trick!

3. What happened to Father? Disappeared 9 years ago. Discussed over lunch Friday.

CLUE: After Lunch, Father falls out of ceiling onto W.

Mystery: How did he die in the attic? Why falling thru now?

SOLVE: S will go up there Saturday a.m. to escape B. Free Father from trap, hear Mother’s ghost account of not helping and let him die of the cold.

CLUE & MYSTERY: How did she get $10MM life insurance when the body is not found?

4. What’s W’s position? Hates B, but married to him. Willing to kill him or just deceive S? Beguile H, get him away from S so B can kill him, or is she really attracted to him?

5. $10MM starts everyone thinking about possibilities. No one is reliable.

——————

[Barbe LaPierre]

Barbe Gives Great Clues!

What I learned was this was an excellent way to think through all the steps of the mysteries. I teased out things that, until now, I didn’t have the answer to. Overt clues are present. The covert clues all seem to happen before the story starts – or are already reveals.

OPENING: Max’s store is broken into

TWIST #1

Direction: Max’s store is “robbed.”

Twist: The thief put something into Max’s safe.

Villain’s Plan 1: Get the manuscript that is still in the safe.

v CLUE: The ex-FBI guy has the manuscript. He’s going to plant it in Max’s safe. He shoots the thug who would have ratted him out to Volkov. He puts the manuscript in the safe. He’s leaving when the thug shoots him.

Life Threatening 1: Break-in at Max’s store.

Life Threatening 2: Gunshots!

Life Threatening 3: Max finds a body in his office.

Life Threatening 4: Max follows the thief into the alley and shoots him.

Mystery 1: Why did Max shoot the intruder?

v CLUE: The ex-FBI agent lunges at Max. Max shoots. The look on his Max’s face hints that he might know this guy. The shot was self-defense.

CATALYST: Matty Holmes receives a distress call from her friend, Max, who has been arrested for murder.

TWIST #2

Direction: Max says he is framed for the murder of the thief in the alley.

Twist: The “thief” is Max’s ex-FBI partner who Max turned into the FBI for wrongdoing.

v Clue: As Max tells the Mavens about “the person who came into the store asking about rare books,” flashback to him talking to the ex-FBI guy. When the guy leaves, Max picks up the phone. Who is he calling?

Villain’s Plan 2: The Mavens come to Max’s aid – but are in the dark about Max’s true background.

v CLUE: When the Mavens arrive at the police station, Max tells them only half the story.

Trust: The Mavens assume that Max is telling the truth about the break-in

Mystery 2: What is Max hiding?

FUN AND GAMES: The investigation begins.

Trust: David is a police detective and Matty’s son. He must have the Mavens wellbeing in mind.

REVEAL 1

· Mystery: What is Max hiding?

· Intrigue: David scans for Max’s fingerprints.

· Reveal: Max is in the system! He’s ex-FBI!

Life Threatening 5: The Mavens start their investigation and are surveilled by Volkov’s thugs.

Distrust: Max withholds information about knowing the thief

REVEAL 2

· Mystery: Who is the thief?

· Intrigue: David scans for the thief’s fingerprints.

· Reveal: He’s in the system. The thief Max shot is his ex-FBI partner.

REVEAL 3

· Mystery: Who shot the thief in Max’s office?

· Intrigue: Hazel’s autopsy reveals the bullet came from Max’s gun.

· Reveal: The ex-FBI guy shot the second thief with Max’s gun.

REVEAL 4

· Mystery: Who is the second thief?

· Intrigue: Hazel removes the second bullet from the ex-FBI guy.

· Reveal: The second bullet is from a Russian gun.

REVEAL 5

· Mystery: Why did the ex-FBI guy appear in Max’s store one day?

· Intrigue: Hazel finds identical gang tattoos on the ex-FBI guy and the dead Russian in Max’s office.

· Reveal: The ex-FBI guy works for Volkov.

Trust: David has the Mavens under surveillance just to make sure they don’t get into too much trouble.

Distrust: The Mavens feel they can do things a bit against the law when the police can’t

REVEAL 6

· Mystery: Can the Mavens help Max?

· Intrigue: Matty, Dev, and Evie “break in” to Max’s store.

· Reveal: In Max’s apartment above the store the Mavens find overdue notices. Max’s is in debt.

REVEAL 7

· Mystery: Why did Volkov choose Max?

· Intrigue: Snooping at Max’s the Mavens find a photo of the ex-FBI guy and Max receiving commendations. An article falls out of a book about Max and his partner being dismissed by the FBI for wrongdoing.

· Reveal: The ex-FBI guy recruited Max for Volkov.

REVEAL 8

· Mystery: Max maintains there is nothing in his safe.

· Intrigue: Devi, amateur safe-cracker, breaks into Max’s safe.

· Reveal: The manuscript

Distrust: The Mavens withhold information from David “until they are sure of the facts.”

REVEAL 9

· Mystery: What does Matty have to tell David?

· Intrigue: David has dinner with the Mavens at Matty’s house.

· Reveal: The Mavens “stole” the manuscript from Max’s safe.

REVEAL 10

· Mystery: Why this manuscript?

· Intrigue: Matty opens the manuscript case?

· Reveal: It’s the Einstein-Besso manuscript worth $15 million.

v CLUE: Volkov needs someone with a legitimate business to purchase the manuscript and thereby launder a great amount of money

TWIST #3

Direction: The police interrogate Max about the break-in. Max says nothing about the contents of the safe.

<s>Twist: </s><s> Devi, one of the Mavens, “gains access” to the store and because of her safe-cracking skills steals the manuscript from the safe</s>. (relocated)<s></s>

MIDPOINT: The Mavens come to the attention of the villain – Sergei Volkov

Mystery 3: Who is Volkov?

Distrust: Max withholds information about working for Volkov.

Villain’s Plan 3: Now the Mavens stand in the way of Volkov.

Distrust: Volkov sends his thugs after the Mavens

TWIST #4

Direction: The Mavens are closing in on the truth about the robbery at Max’s store.

Twist: Volkov is closing in on the Mavens.

<s>Distrust:</s><s> David finally divulges Max’s identity to the Mavens. They are devastated</s>.

BAD GUYS CLOSE IN:

Mystery 4: Why does Volkov need the manuscript?

Life Threatening 6: Max lies about who he is, his past, his reason for purchasing the manuscript, his past connection to the dead ex-FBI agent, and his current connection to Volkov.

Villain’s Plan 4: The Mavens are threatened with kidnapping, their vehicles tampered with, and homes broken into.

Life Threatening 7: The thugs threaten the Mavens by chasing them, tampering with their vehicles, trapping them, and threatening their lives.!

<s>Trust:</s><s> After several near misses, The Mavens sense they will not be harmed.</s>

TWIST #5

Direction: Volkov threatens to kill the Mavens one-by-one.

Twist: Volkov, who has yet to produce the manuscript, is threatened with death by his employer, a powerful, shadowy Russian oligarch.

FINALE:

REVEAL 11

· Mystery: Who is after the Mavens?

· Intrigue: Matty is kidnapped and delivered to Volkov.

· Reveal: It’s the Russians!

Distrust: Volkov’s thugs kidnap Matty and bring her to see Volkov.

Distrust: Volkov wants Matty to turn over the manuscript.

Trust: Volkov lets it slip that the manuscript is in Max’s safe.

<s>Trust:</s><s> Max corroborates Volkov’s information about the contents of the safe.</s>

<s>Trust:</s><s> Max tells them how to slip into the shop</s>

<s>Twist: </s><s> Devi, one of the Mavens, “gains access” to the store and because of her safe-cracking skills steals the manuscript from the safe.</s>

TWIST #6

Villain’s Plan 5 / Direction: Volkov has the Mavens in his grasp.

Life Threatening 9 / Twist: The Mavens turn the tables and invite Volkov to dinner at Matty’s house.

Trust: Matty invites Volkov to dinner at her house. She will turn over the manuscript.

Life Threatening 8: Volkov is threatened with death by his employer – a powerful and shadowy Russian oligarch.

REVEAL 12

· Mystery: Why does Volkov want the manuscript?

· Intrigue: Volkov receives an email “Where is the manuscript?” with a link to a video – of Volkov’s house in flames.

· Reveal: Volkov is working for somebody even more powerful and dangerous.

REVEAL 13

· Mystery: Who stole the manuscript?

· Intrigue: The Mavens and David review footage of the auction and see Max bidding on the manuscript and the ex-FBI guy in the crowd.

· Reveal: Max went to the auction and bought the manuscript.

v CLUE: Max attends the auction and purchases the manuscript.

v CLUE: The manuscript is stolen. Volkov thinks Max has it in his safe.

REVEAL 14

· Mystery: Where’s the manuscript?

· Intrigue: Newspaper headline about the theft of the manuscript from the auction.

· Reveal: When Max went to pick up the manuscript it had been stolen.

REVEAL 15

· Mystery: Why is Max still being held?

· Intrigue: Matty angrily confronts David about doing enough to clear Max.

· Reveal: Max is working for Volkov.

REVEAL 16

· Mystery: Why did Max shoot the ex-FBI guy?

· Intrigue: David relentlessly grills Max.

· Reveal: Max hates his ex-partner for ruining his career and getting him swept up into Volkov’s scheme.

Life Threatening 10: Volkov attends the dinner but brings his thugs to stand guard outside and inside.

Life Threatening 11: Unknown to the diners inside a police SWAT team swoops in and dispatches the thugs outside.

Trust: At dinner the Mavens and Volkov I think he really likes the Mavens. They are the same age. He enjoys their company. They laugh at his jokes, and he laughs at theirs.

TWIST #7

Life Threatening 12 / Direction: Just as Volkov, with a twinge of wistful regret, threatens to kill all the Mavens…

Distrust: Matty adds a sedative to the chocolate cake to put Volkov and his thugs to sleep.

Twist: The Mavens have cooked up something special – that puts Volkov and his thugs to sleep. When SWAT charges to the rescue – Volkov is snoring.

Life Threatening 13: Volkov is captured.

RESOLUTION:

TWIST #8

Life Threatening 14: Max’s store and reputation are lost.

Life Threatening 15 / Direction: All this turmoil destroys Max’s relationship with Matty Holmes, one of the Mavens.

Twist: Max was working for the police in order to apprehend Volkov.

Distrust: David does not divulge to the Mavens, until the very end, that Max was working with the police in order to apprehend Volkov.

REVEAL 17

· Mystery: Why is Max exonerated?

· Intrigue: Max appears at the Bitter Bones to find the Mavens

· Reveal: Max has been working with the police to apprehend Volkov.

[Michael HARRIS]

Michael L Harris’s – Gives Great Clues

What I learned is that clue chains can engage an audience and help point to future events.

List out the three or four main mysteries in your story.

What happened to Simon’s mother? Will Simon find his mother?

End Result: She was killed by Whitcombe. Yes, but she’s dead.

Clues:

· Simon’s introductory dream. He sees his mother on the night she disappears and hears the sound of a bat hitting something, “like a pumpkin or a skull.”

· Gloria’s sepal.

· Her picture in Nurse Hanes office.

· The car image in the pond on Whitcombe’s property.

· Her earring in the basement.

· They pull up the car from the bottom of the pond.

Who is Dr. Whitcome and what is his relationship to Simon / Simon’s mother?

End result: Dr. Whitcombe is a brilliant surgeon who after the death of his wife devises a way to keep his fatally injured son alive by transplanting organs from unwitting victims. Simon’s mother worked for Whitcombe. Whitcombe is Simon’s biological father.

He is “the man” in Simon’s vision.

Nurse Hanes tells us about the accident and Whitcombe’s philanthrope.

Kevin confirms his legitimacy. (This guy is legit as legit comes. He’s always donating money or appearing at some social event for charity.) He’s a legend. One of the top surgeons in the world.

A bit of family history, his father ran the asylum where the nursing home is today. Was curing people of TB and all kind of ills tears ago, then he and his wife were killed in a car crash. “How horrible.”

His personality is creepy.

He is charmingly sadistic in the subbasement.

Simon sees horrific images in the subbasement

They find an earring that once belonged to Debra Daniels.

In a private office they find Simon’s birth certificate, receipts for organ sales and an article about Whitcombe’s family including a book on autopsies written by Whitcombe’s father. “That’s one of the bodies I saw.”

Tommy is alive and the identical twin of Simon.

Elise hands the birth certificate to Kevin who exclaims, “His father?”

What is really happening at “Tommy’s Hope?”

End Result: Dr. Whitcombe is using his young patients as a ready source of organs to replace his son, Tommy’s failing organs. Hence the sadistically apt nursing home title, “Tommy’s Hope.” Surplus organ’s are sold on the black market to generate income for the facility and finance his philanthropic giving, helping him remain a well-respected and trusted member of the community.

Clues

Young nursing home patients

Whitcombe is handing off a mysterious red and white cooler with a strange symbol on it to a courier.

A young patient being wheeled down the hall says, I don’t want another operation.

At the end of a tunnel they find an operating room and a patient being prepared for surgery.

A heart image on the monitors and a cooler like the one we saw previously on the counter.

Tommy hooked up to heart monitors in his room. When Elise and Simon enter he says he wants it to be done. “No more.”

Will Simon find a place of belonging?

End result: Yes. Simon urges Kevin to marry Elise and Elise plans to adopt Simon. She has now fully accepted his gifts (visions) as real.

Clues:

Simon sees her face in a dream and then meets a stranger (Elise) in the cemetery and gives her a button.

Elise wants a child.

Simon becomes Elise’s emergency foster child

Simon convinces Elise to look for “the man”

Elise and Simon snuggle.

Elise tries to understand him.

They go on a life and death journey together.

INTEGRATION OF CLUES INTO THRILLER MAP FOR “SIMON SEES”

Opening: A young boy (Simon) asleep behind a sofa tosses as images flash in his mind.

· Life Threatening # 1 – Simon’s dreams or visions are turbulent; he sees his foster mother kill his foster father with a knife.

· Mystery # 1 – Who is this boy?

· Mystery # 2 – Are shades dreams shades of the past, visons of the future or a psychotic episode?

· Mystery # 3 – A button drops at the foot of a casket and a woman’s face. What’s that all about? And who is she?

Clue # 1 – Simon sees her face in a dream and then meets a stranger (Elise) in the cemetery and gives her a button.

Clue # 2 – Dr. Whitcombe’s face can be seen through the window of Debra Daniels car.

· Clue # 3 – Simon’s introductory dream. He sees his mother on the night she disappears and hears the sound of a bat hitting something, “like a pumpkin or a skull.”

Inciting Incident: Simon awakens to a heated argument between his foster parents and believes his vision of an impending murder to be true. On the way to school he calls his case worker and asks to be removed from the home.

· Reveal # 1 – The same button we saw lies on a makeshift table beside Simon’s bed.

· Life Threatening # 2 – Caught in the middle of his foster parents’ argument he has a plate thrown at him and witnesses a death threat to his foster father.

· Reveal # 2 – Mr. Mabree is the person being killed in Simon’s dream. And it’s his wife’s voice we heard. They are at odds.

· Mystery # 4 – Is Simon’s vision real? Will Mrs. Malbree, the foster mother real follow through and kill her husband?

· Mystery # 5 – Why does Simon steal a cell phone on his way out of the house?

· Mystery # 6 – Will Simon be placed in a new home? What will that look like, previous homes have not been good.

· Life Threatening # 3 – Simon steps in front of Elise’s car. She has to break hard to avoid hitting him.

· Mystery # 7 – Why does Simon meet Elise at the cemetery?

· Mystery # 8 – What’s up with the button?

· Elise/Simon: Trust: He’s a mild-mannered little kid.

· Elise/Simon: Distrust: He startles her and thrusts a button in her face.

· Reveal # 3 – The dead woman wanted Elise to have the button.

· Twist # 1 – Elise meets Kevin at a restaurant where he has planned an elaborate wedding proposal, but she surprises him first by announcing that she is getting her first foster child, “tomorrow.”

· Reveal # 3 – Elise wants to foster; Kevin doesn’t think that’s a good idea.

· Clue # 4 – Elise wants a child. Kevin, “There are easier ways to get them.”

· Reveal # 4 – Elise thinks she’s getting a girl.

· Elise/Simon: Distrust: Kevin briefs her on how much baggage foster kids can carry.

· New Direction: Kevin expects to propose and instead finds himself competing. Elise withdraws even more.

· Mystery # 8a – Will Kevin accept a foster child into his relationship with Elise?

· Twist # 2 – Elise expects to be getting a girl foster child and instead gets Simon.

· Reveal # 5 – Turns out Simon (the boy from the cemetery) is Elise’s new foster child.

· New Direction: Elise had expected a girl child, all the preparations were for a girl and most importantly her mindset was for getting a girl.

· Clue # 5 – Simon becomes Elise’s emergency foster child.

Turning Point 1: Simon “sees” the man who knows what became of him mother.

· Simon sees visions. Because of this he has been rejected by other foster families .

· Simon/Dr. Whitcombe: Distrust: Simon first sees Whitcombe (whose name he does not know at the time) in a vision. Trust: He hopes Whitcombe will be able to help him find his mother and therefore he trusts or at least hopes Whitcombe is the answer to his quest.

· Simon/Elise: Trust: Elise is his last hope of locating his mother.

·

· Simon/Elise: Distrust: She seems more intent on doing what she wants rather than what he wants even after asking what he wants to do.

· Simon/Elise: Distrust: She seems more intent on doing what she wants rather than what he wants even after asking what he wants to do.

Clue # 6 – Simon convinces Elise to look for “the man”

· Elise/Simon: Trust: She takes him driving to look for the building and the man.

· Simon/Elise: Distrust: She is skeptical when he reveals his gift.

· Elise/Simon: Trust: She helps him find the big building.

· Elise/Simon: Trust: She goes inside with him and inquiries about the man of Simon’s vision.

· Elise/Simon: Distrust: She can’t fully accept his visions.

· Elise/Simon: Trust: The heart is willing to accept him but her insecurities for the moment rule.

· Villain’s Plan # 1 – After losing his wife in a car crash two years ago, Dr. Whitcombe, a well-respected expert in organ transplantation vowed to keep his son alive by any means possible, including organ transplants and murder.

· Villain’s Plan # 2 – Whitcombe created a nursing facility for young patients with life threatening conditions. They are also a ready source of organs for his son who has since the accident been presumed dead.

· Villain’s Plan # 3 – Simon’s mother, Debra Daniels worked for Whitcombe prior to the accident. When she bulked at Whitcombe’s proposal to transplant one of Simon’s organs into Tommy (Whitcombe’s son) and threatened to go to the authorities, Whitcombe killed her.

· Villain’s Plan # 4 – Simon was there on the fatal night but escaped. Simon has recently “seen” Whitcombe in vision and knows he knows what happened to his mother.

· Mystery # 9 – Who is this man (Dr. Whitcombe) Simon “sees” in vision?

· Life Threatening # 4 – Does the man pose a danger to Simon?

· Mystery # 10 – Will Elise accept Simon’s visions as real and help him find the man?

· Life Threatening # 5 – Will Elise reject Simon and send him packing?

· Mystery # 11 – Where is the Building Simon saw and what is inside?

· Mystery # 12 – Why are the patients in “Tommy’s Hope” so young?

· Mystery # 13 – Who is Dr. Whitcombe?

· Villain’s Plan # 5 – When Simon & Elise show up asking questions at the nursing home Whitcombe’s plan is threatened.

· Reveal # 6 – The man of Simon’s dreams is Dr. Whitcombe, the founder of “Tommy’s Hope,” the nursing home.

· Reveal # 7 – Whitcombe is a doctor, a decorated surgeon. When his wife and some were killed, he pulled back from his profession and started a nursing home specializing in help for special needs kids.

· Clue # 7 – Young nursing home patients.

· Reveal # 8 – Simon’s mother’s picture is in Nurse Hanes office.

· * Mystery # 14 – Why is Simon’s mother in a picture in Nurse Hanes office?

· Clue # 8 – Nurse Hanes shares Whitcombe’s history as a respected Surgeon.

· Twist # 3 – Simon’s mom worked for Dr. Whitcombe.

· New Direction: Simon and Elise think they will find information about Whitcombe, which they do, but it turns on them when they find that Simon’s mother was a part of the operation.

· Reveal # 9 – The basement has many secrets. Answers to many of Simon’s questions are hidden in the basement and subbasements of Tommy’s Hope.

· Mystery # 15 – What secrets does the sub-basement hide? What are these writhing bodies Simon sees as he walks through?

· Life Threatening # 6 – Do the phantoms of the past pose a threat to Simon and Elise?

· Simon/Dr. Whitcombe: Distrust: On first meeting, though Dr. Whitcombe appears accommodating there is a recognition between he and Simon that alerts Simon to potential danger.

· Reveal # 10: So this is Dr. Whitcombe.

Clue # 9 – Whitcombe is handing off a mysterious red and white cooler with a strange symbol on it to a courier.

· Mystery # 16 – What was in the cooler Dr. Whitcombe passes to the courier?

· Reveal # 11: A marking on the case that Whitcombe gives to the courier.

· Life Threatening # 7 – Whitcombe seems intimidating even though he appears to be congenial.

· Mystery # 17 – Why does being around Dr. Whitcombe feel so freaky?

· Clue # 10 – Simon and Elise snuggle on the coach.

· Clue # 11 – She tries to understand him.

Midpoint: Simon runs away forcing Elise to enter the journey.

· Clue # 12: Kevin confirms Whitcombe’s legacy. (“This guy is a legit as legit comes.’ ‘s constantly giving money to help aide people and research.” “A pillar of the community.” One of the top surgeons in the world.

· Simon/Elise: Distrust: She doesn’t want to go back to the nursing home.

· Simon/Dr. Whitcombe: Distrust: Whitcombe’s henchman spies on Simon and Elise. Simon feels it, though Elise discounts it. (add to window scene)

· Clue # 13 – Kevin uncovers a darker legacy and a car shape in a pond on Whitcombe’s property. (Simon will be pleased, Kevin takes off he’ll call if he finds anything.) A bit of family history, his father ran the asylum where the nursing home is today. Was curing people of TB and all kind of ills tears ago, then he and his wife were killed in a car crash. “How horrible.”

· Elise/Simon: He runs away.

· Twist # 5 – Simon runs away. Elise pursues. He’s going in with or without her. Run’s almost gets hit. Elise consents.

· New Direction: Having the child run away is totally unexpected and a big turn from the bonding she envisioned with fostering.

· Mystery # 18 – Where is Simon?

· Life Threatening # 7 – Did Simon disappear on his own?

· Life Threatening # 8 – Simon sees a vision of his mother floating underwater.

· Mystery # 19 – What is the mysterious car shaped image that appears in aerial photos of a pond on the Whitcombe property.

· Reveal # 12 – There is a car in the pond, and it contains Debra’s remains.

· Clue # 14 – They pull up the car from the bottom of the pond.

· Elise/Simon: Trust: She goes back into the building with him.

· Simon/Elise: Trust: She comes after him and goes back inside.

· Simon/Elise: Distrust: She’s still having trouble buying his visions.

Turning Point 2: They get too close to Dr. Whitcombe’s big secret and are locked in a sub-basement to await their fate but instead seek a way out discovering more secrets.

· Clue # 15 – A young patient being wheeled down the hall says, I don’t want another operation.

· Clue # 16- Simon and Elise go on a life and death journey together.

· Twist # 6 – Simon and Elise come looking for information about Simon’s mother and get locked in a basement.

Reveal # 13: Whitcombe is willing to kill to keep his secrets secret . He is charmingly sadistic.

New Direction: – From information gatherers and spies to captives.

· Simon/Dr. Whitcombe: Distrust: When they return to the nursing home, Whitcombe locks them in the basement,

· Villain’s Plan # 6 – When Simon and Elise return to the facility covertly they are caught and imprisoned in an old subbasement where Simon’s visions reveal the history of the facility and Debra’s fate.

· Life Threatening # 9 – Simon and Elise are locked in the Sub-basement to await their eventual fate. Whitcombe is willing to kill to protect his secret.

· Mystery # 20 – Is there a way out?

· Mystery # 21 – Why is Simon seeing so many dead bodies?

· Life Threatening # 10 – Do the bodies pose a threat to Simon and Elise or are they foreshadowing of things to come?

· Clue # 17 – Simon finds an earring in a pile of rubble, it is his mother’s,

· Reveal # 14: Whitcombe killed Debra because she threatened to go to the police.

· mother and Whitcombe had their final confrontation here, she refused to help him, and he killed her.

· Life Threatening # 11 – Simon sees the night his mother was killed.

· Elise/Simon: Trust: She trusts his vision in the tunnel.

· Elise/Simon: Distrust: She’s trying to get out and he’s intent on getting them in deeper.

· Mystery # 22 – Is there any evidence to prove Debra Daniels was there?

· Simon/Elise: Trust: She’s trying to find a way out and listens when he recounts his mother’s confrontation with Whitcombe.

· Mystery # 23 – Where does the discovered tunnel lead?

· Life Threatening # 12 – A collapsing tunnel.

· Life Threatening # 13 – Rats

· Mystery # 24 – Will they survive the rats?

· Life Threatening # 14 – A henchman who is chancing them?

· Twist # 7 – It just got more dangerous.

· New Direction: Now not only are they trying to escape, they are trying not to get caught by the henchman.

· Mystery # 25 – Will they survive the henchman chancing after them?

· Simon/Dr. Whitcombe: Distrust: Whitcombe sends his henchman after them in the tunnel.

· Twist # 8 – The tunnel leads to a dead end but…

· Twist # 9 – On the other side of the dead end is an operating room.

· Clue # 18 – At the end of a tunnel they find an operating room with the same patient we saw earlier being prepared for surgery.

Clue # 19 – A heart image on the monitors and a cooler like the one we saw previously on the counter with the same markings as on the one Elise and Simon saw Dr. Whitcombe pass off on their first meeting.

· Simon/Dr. Whitcombe: Distrust: They hear a young patient complain he doesn’t want another operation and see a organ cooler like the one they witnessed when they first met Whitcombe.

· New Direction: Now not only is Whitcombe Simon’s mother’s killer, he is also preying on innocent victims who come to him for help.

· Twist # 10 – They escape into Dr. Whitcombe’s private office and find papers that reveal he is Simon’s father.

· New Direction: Simon who wants to expose his mother’s killer must now find a way to absorb the fact that he is Whitcombe’s son.

· Villain’s Plan # 7 – As they are escaping Simon and Elise find Whitcombe’s private office in an adjoining building and in it news articles of successful and unsuccessful transplants with Whitcombe’s patients and Simon’s birth certificate revealing his real parentage.

· Life Threatening # 15 – Simon’s sense of identity is challenged when he learns who his father is.

· Mystery # 26 – What is the paper Simon finds in Dr. Whitcombe’s private office?

Clue # 20 – In a private office they find Simon’s birth certificate, receipts for organ sales and an article about Whitcombe’s family including a book on autopsies written by Whitcombe’s father. “That’s one of the bodies I saw.”

· Reveal # 16 – Whitcombe has been performing organ extraction for sale on the black market .

· Reveal # 17 – Simon is Dr. Whitcombe’s biological son.

· Twist # 11 – It just got more dangerous.

· New Direction – We have gone from nefarious to black market.

· Villain’s Plan # 8 – Simon and Elise discover a young patient about to go under the knife and learn that Whitcombe’s nursing facility is a ready source of unwitting yet ready organ donors to finance his operation by selling “extra” organs on the black market.

· Simon/Dr. Whitcombe: Distrust: While Simon sifts through photos and news articles eventually finds his birth certificate. Elise finds records of organ sales.

· Life Threatening # 16 – Will Simon and Elise fall prey to the surgeon’s knife?

· Life Threatening # 17 – The knowledge that illegal activity is happening, others are in danger and they are unable to help.

· Mystery # 27 – What is the “operation” Whitcombe’s staff is prepping for in the basement of the mansion?

· Mystery # 28 – Is Tommy still alive?

Climax: The uncover Whitcombe’s final secret, Tommy is still alive, though barely. Caught a second time their fate is sealed. Can they escape? Yes, with a little help from Tommy.

· Twist # 12/ Reveal # 18 – Tommy is still alive.

Clue # 121- Tommy hooked up to heart monitors in his room. When Elise and Simon enter he says he wants it to be done. “No more.

· New Direction – Whitcombe’s philanthropy is based on treachery.

· Twist # 13 – Dr. Whitcombe is using his nursing facility as an organ farm to keep Tommy alive and finance his efforts.

· Life Threatening # 18 -– Tommy is still alive.

Clue # 22 – Tommy is alive and the identical twin of Simon.

· Villain’s Plan # 9 – Whitcombe’s end came is to keep Tommy alive and his patients are a ready source for needed replacement parts as Tommy’s organs increasingly fail.

· Life Threatening # 19 – Whitcombe’s order to kill them.

· Simon/Dr. Whitcombe: Distrust: They discover Tommy alive, and Whitcombe gives the order to terminate them.

· Life Threatening # 20 – The reality of death before their eyes.

· Mystery # 29 – Will they escape from Whitcombe again?

· Simon/Elise: Trust: she gets them out.

· Twist # 14 – Simon risks his life to save Whitcombe.

· New Direction: Simon, who wanted to expose Whitcombe now wants to save his father.

· Life Threatening # 21 – Weapons firing around him… Will the police kill Simon?

· Mystery # 30 – Will the police kill Dr. Whitcombe?

· Elise/Simon: Trust: She trusts his instinct to save Whitcombe

Clue # 23 – Elise hands the birth certificate to Kevin who exclaims, “His father?”

· Simon/Elise: Trust: She helps him save Whitcombe

· Simon/Dr. Whitcombe: Trust: For a brief moment Whitcombe is repentant and reaches out to embrace Simon, which he accepts.

· Mystery # 31 – Will Elise keep Simon? Does he finally have a home?

Resolution: At the cemetery where they first met Simon and Elise stand over his mother’s grave. “We’re both orphans now!”; “Guess we’ll just have to take care of each other.” Kevin proposes and Simon sees another vision… the adventure may not be over yet.

· Life Threatening # 22 – The thought of being alone (Simon)

· Simon/ Elise: Trust: She helps him bury his mother. And wants to adopt him.

· Twist # 15/ Reveal # 19 – Simon’s visions are not over… we can spin to the series…

· New Direction: Simon goes from a single visionary pursuing his own interests to a potential sloth, helping the death solve their mysteries.

· Mystery # 32 – What does Simon “see” at Tommy’s grave?

· Elise/Simon: Trust: She trusts his vision at the cemetery.

· Simon/Elise: Trust: She learns to recognize and accept him as a visionary .

[Jennifer Miller]

Miller’s Gives Great Clues!

What I learned is that you look at each of the main mysteries and then the last
Reveal to brainstorm clues. This lesson helped me understand the previous
Lesson better. I am getting tired, but I am also extremely hopeful and exhilarated
by this MAP! This is going to be a GREAT THRILLER, and perhaps for the first
time I am looking forward to FEEDBACK – haha! Because I know we are all,
hopefully, on the same page after this brilliant course, and the feedback, I believe,
will only make my thriller better, greater than any of my previous thrillers.

Mystery 1: Who took Emily?

Clues:

Emily lied about working late.

Emily vanished after a date from a dating app she works for.

Emily’s dating profile has been deleted.

Emily asked for time off.

Liam called Emily.

Emily’s car found, she is missing, foul play.

Emily’s car has an address.

Mystery 2: What is Liam hiding?

Clues:

Reporter, David, saw Emily and Liam together.

Liam lied about his relationship with Emily, didn’t tell Hazel about their date.

Liam suggests Hazel look at herself and her past.

Liam’s alibi clears him.

David and Hazel look into a past connection, someone with a grudge against her.

Mystery 3: Who is Mandy Dune?

Clues:

Trevor discovers fake accounts linked to Mandy Dune, with faces/names from
Hazel’s past practice as a child psychiatrist.

Mandy Dune ran away from home.

Trevor was asking about her.
Mandy is Jessica.

Trevor found dead, with his death mirroring Jessica/Mandy’s father’s death.

Jessica points to Liam, who used a fake profile to connect with Emily and ask her
out.

Liam runs.

Mystery 4: Is Jessica the killer?

Clues:

Hazel discovers a photo proving Jessica is Mandy Dune.

Mandy/Jessica blames Hazel for her brother Marcus’s death, accusing Hazel of
not saving him from their abusive father, Michael Dune.