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Lesson 12
Posted by cheryl croasmun on September 18, 2023 at 4:07 amReply to post your assignment.
Steve Jones replied 1 year, 8 months ago 4 Members · 3 Replies -
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Subject line: Stephen Maynard Finished Act 1
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” I learned that I have some work ahead to get this act looking good – but I have a framework from which to work.
Write a 20% draft of those scenes.
FADE IN:
INT. JOHNNY’S LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Using a finger, STEVIE MILLER, a B student who never took a book home, and is proud of it, draws a sequence diagram on the carpet.
It’s a Rube Goldberg scenario illustrating how an impossible series of events might unfold.
JOHNNY GRANT, a kid who breezed through high school with As, but does everything he can to disguise his ability to identify, analyze, and solve problems, ponders.
JOHNNY
Why should we have to prove gravity, it’s
axiomatic.
STEVIE
It’s our project, Johnny. We do it to granulate.
JOHNNY
Okay, they asked for it.
STEVIE
Okay then, A goes down the slide and drops off
the building –
JOHNNY
Stevie, Stevie, we’re gonna need more speed.
Using a finger, Johnny writes upside down on the carpet. “Force = Mass X Acceleration”
Stevie draws a taller building with a slanted roof.
STEVIE
Okay, think with me. A goes off a roof onto a
water slide and drops to the seesaw.
JOHNNY
You think it before you can do it.
STEVIE
It’ll happen if we believe it will.
EXT. LATIN HIGH SCHOOL – DAY
The all-male student body looks in silence as, from a second-story window, a hula hoop is dangled from a bamboo pole.
A ground-floor window opens, and two boys extend a pole with a keg at its end.
All eyes look up at Stevie. He stands teetering precariously on a skateboard, on the crest of a three-story building’s slanted roof.
He launches, rumbles cattywampus across the clay tile, leaps the alley, drops, and comes down hard on a water slide on the flat roof of the adjacent two-story structure.
The students scream and applaud wildly.
Stevie picks up speed and goes airborne, turns a flip, kicks the skateboard away, and drops to a seesaw, launching Johnny over to a trampoline propped on its edge.
Johnny bounces off a trampoline, up through the hula hoop, turns a flip over Stevie’s head, rolls over the keg, flips, and crashes down on the seesaw.
Stevie is catapulted up to the top of the two-story building.
STEVIE
Ah, the summit of life. We’re about to
granulate high school, Dude.
JOHNNY
Johnny’s first law of gravity says, what
goes up must come down so get down,
we’re going to college.
EXT. DIRT ROAD – DAY
A 68 El Camino with primer-dappled oxidized blue paint cruises with radio music blaring.
Stevie’s at the wheel, and Johnny rides shotgun. Boxes and two bicycles slide from side to side in the bed as the pickup negotiates the curvy one-lane road.
JOHNNY
You sure this is a shortcut?
A white Bentley convertible in the rearview mirror and it’s closing fast.
INT. BENTLEY – SAME
The blond in sunglasses at the wheel is DAWN BRADFORD, a pampered California beauty. Daddy’s little girl with a vise grip hold on her wealthy father.
The pretty brunette behind “French For Dummies” is CHARLIE GORDON. Charlie is Grandpa’s trust fund baby and behaves accordingly. Today she’s teaching herself to speak the language of romance.
She tosses the book onto the dash and raises herself, head above the windshield.
CHARLIE
Get off my road… Toot sweet, Mounsers.
INT. EL CAMINO – SAME
Stevie checks the rearview mirror and moves to the center, blocking the Bentley. Two can play that game.
STEVIE
How’d you like to take that for a test drive?
INT. BENTLEY – SAME
Dawn assesses, slows, and falls back.
DAWN
That won’t cut it, Charlie. We’re not in high
school anymore. Let’s get nasty.
CHARLIE
Atta-que.
The Bentley roars up behind and bumps the El Camino.
INT. EL CAMINO – SAME
Stevie checks the rearview mirror.
STEVIE
They’re trying to get our attention, Dude.
INT. BENTLEY – SAME
Charlie sticks her head up above the windshield.
CHARLIE
Get that garbage truck off my road.
The girls giggle, astonished at their audacity.
INT. EL CAMINO – SAME
Johnny motions out the window for the girls to move up.
JOHNNY
Bring ’em alongside, talkie, talkie time.
EXT. DIRT ROAD – SAME
The El Camino slows, moves over, and hugs the bumpy shoulder. The Bentley squeezes alongside and holds even.
INT. EL CAMINO – BENTLEY – SAME
Charlie sticks her arm out and gives them the finger.
CHARLIE
Va te faire foutre!
STEVIE
What’s that?
CHARLIE
Fuck you
STEVIE
Your place or mine?
EXT. DIRT ROAD – SAME
The Bentley speeds up, leaving the El Camino in the dust. It comes to a stop at an intersection, turns onto a paved road, and accelerates.
INT. BENTLEY – SAME
The giggling stops, and the girls compose themselves as the vehicle climbs.
CHARLIE
Let’s sing our song, Dawn.
DAWN
(singing)
We are teenage super girls. With teen-girl
superpowers.
CHARLIE
We’re equipped to torment guys with teenage
charms like ours.
DAWN
In the bloom of youth with seductive arts.
CHARLIE
We tempt the boys, then we break their hearts.
DAWN
They may sigh, and drool and dream.
CHARLIE
But your teenage girl will scheme.
DAWN
They want afternoon delight.
CHARLIE
To possess us for one night.
CHARLIE AND DAWN
But with teenage charms like ours, we just
flaunt our superpowers.
The Bentley crests the hill and slows. The giggling stops as the car moves downhill toward the coast and the red tile roofs of the college town.
DAWN
One year… and we lose our power.
CHARLIE
Let’s make the most of it.
EXT. NEWPORT BAY – DAY
The El Camino pulls onto a circular drive and stops in front of a sprawling three-story greystone house with a four-car garage.
Stevie and Johnny leave the pickup, walk past the garage, and look across an overgrown lawn at the huge wall-enclosed backyard.
JOHNNY
Dude, that backyard’s the size of five
football fields!
INT. GREYSTONE HOUSE – DAY
PEARL, a sweet unassuming eighty-ish-year-old lady that could pass for sixtyushers in Stevie and Johnny. She nervously eyeballs the black limo across the street and slams the door shut.
PEARL
Bolt the door. They’re after my property.
STEVIE
(singing to Johnny)
Paa-ra-noi-a.
Johnny bolts the door.
PEARL
Pearl’s been expecting you, boys. Tea’s
getting cold. Come sit.
They sit on the floor at a coffee table. Pearl takes a pink Limoges teapot and pours, filling three pink teacups. She takes a bottle of Hennessy cognac and pours a splash into her cup.
PEARL
Sweetener, boys?
JOHNNY
We’re underage.
JOHNNY
Wouldn’t want to get you in trouble.
The place is like a museum, filled with antiques. Photos on a wall tell the story of Pearl’s glamorous younger days.
STEVIE
We were wondering –
PEARL
Maurice Jackson and Mama wed in twenty-eight
and purchased a five-hectare parcel that year.
Pearl was born seven years later.
JOHNNY
Who’s this Pearl?
PEARL
I am, you silly boy.
Pearl walks the boys to a gallery wall covered with framed fashion plate photos of her father and mother.
She brushes a dust speck from the frame of a picture of a man holding a trumpet.
PEARL (CONT’D)
When Daddy played his horn, it was like Gabriel
calling.
She points to a picture of a three-story building with a tower.
PEARL (CONT’D)
That school would not be, without Mama. She
made him give the state all that land and the
money to build Maurice Jackson Hall.
JOHNNY
He was a dapper gent, Miss Pear, and generous.
PEARL
Nine bedrooms and ten baths. Daddy wanted lots
of kids and a nice garden.
STEVIE
Sounds like a very nice man.
PEARL
Those bank people have wanted this property
ever since the state broke ground on the college.
They’re after me to sell but it’ll never happen.
JOHNNY
We were wondering if we could rent one of your rooms.
PEARL
Would you be willing to pay the utility bills… and manage
the place?
STEVIE
Yes, Ma’am.
PEARL
And I stay in my apartment over the garage?
JOHNNY
Yes, Ma’am.
PEARL
And you’ll plant a garden, cut the grass… and weed?
JOHNNY
Grass and weed!
Stevie and Johnny look at each other in disbelief.
STEVIE
We’ll do all that.
PEARL
When can you start?
JOHNNY
Right away, Miss Pearl.
PEARL
Right away?
Pearl rises crosses the expanse of carpet and disappears through an archway.
STEVIE
Dude, this place is a gold mine.
JOHNNY
A fool and her money are easily parted.
STEVIE
And there’s one born every minute.
Pearl returns with two crisp hundred-dollar bills. She tears them in half and gives Stevie two halves, and two halves to Johnny.
PEARL
Maurice Jackson said we should pay for the moving
expenses when the kids come to stay.
JOHNNY
Yes, Miss Pearl.
STEVIE
He was a generous man.
Pearl ceremonially kisses Johnny. She kisses Stevie.
MONTAGE – STEVIE AND JOHNNY TAKE UP GARDENING
— Stevie drives a lawn tractor from a shed, mows the overgrown lawns, front, and sides, carries the clippings to the backyard, and spreads them on a plot of ground.
— Johnny attaches a rototiller to the tractor and tills the small plot in the huge backyard.
— Stevie lays out irrigation tubing in the plot.
— Johnny plants seeds in rows.
— Stevie piles grass clippings in furrows between the rows.
— Stevie and Johnny lie prone on the ground admiring rows of eight-inch high marijuana plants and worm castings in the furrows.
END MONTAGE.
EXT. GREYSTONE HOUSE – BACKYARD – DAY
Johnny and Stevie run to the plot and look down at the foot-tall marijuana plants laid out in a pile on the ground. Johnny examines one of the plants.
JOHNNY
The roots have been chewed.
STEVIE
Looky here, animal footprints.
JOHNNY
Gotta be one big rat, from the size of those tracks.
STEVIE
I never knew a rat that would display his mischief
like that.
MINUTES LATER
Using a rake handle, Stevie makes a hole in a mound, sticks in the dead marijuana pant, and firms up the ground around it.
Johnny straps a trail camera to a tree.
JOHNNY
We’ll identify the culprit and neutralize it.
STEVIE
Night vision, motion activated. We’ll get him.
JOHNNY
And we’ll terminate the bastard.
EXT. GREYSTONE HOUSE – BACKYARD – DAY
Stevie holds his phone for Johnny to see.
ON THE PHONE
A white PUPPY appears and looks about. He goes to the plot, takes one of the withered plants in his mouth, pulls it up, and deposits it on a furrow.
The puppy uproots the plants and places them in a pile. He lifts a leg and urinates on the pile.
BACK TO SCENE
Stevie hands Johnny the phone.
STEVIE
That little –
JOHNNY
We’re gonna have to kill it.
EXT. GREYSTONE HOUSE – BACKYARD – NIGHT
Stevie and Johnny lay in wait.
The puppy arrives and looks around. A net falls from above and the puppy is ensnared.
EXT. GREYSTONE HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY
Bound with two bathrobe sashes, the puppy sits on the coffee table, looking back at Johnny and Stevie, who stand hefting kitchen knives.
STEVIE
(to puppy)
Okay, how do you want it?
The puppy cocks his head. He looks at Stevie, looks at Johnny.
JOHNNY
Let’s tie him to the train tracks… or
maybe we could train him.
The puppy vocalizes affirmatively.
STEVIE
No, I think we need to kill him.
The puppy cocks his head as if weighing the gravity of the moment.
STEVIE (CONT’D)
Just kidding. Let’s keep him… You gonna
behave yourself?
Stevie unties the sashes releasing the puppy. He leaps into Stevie’s arms, tail wagging.
JOHNNY
Got a name, little guy…? How ’bout we call
you Chuey?
The puppy leaps into Johnny’s arms and kisses him puppy-style.
EXT. MAIN STREET – DAY
A BARK from Chuey brings the cruising El Camino to a screeching halt in front of a strip mall.
Two MEN on ladders struggle to raise a sign at the entrance of a unit.
Johnny and Stevie leap from the pickup and pitch in.
The four men raise the sign, lower it onto brackets, descend the ladders, and step back to admire the sign. “EXOTIC CAR WRAPS”.
INT. EXOTIC CAR WRAPS – DAY
Stevie stands talking to the skeptical owner and his more skeptical employee. Johnny nods his encouragement.
STEVIE
We own a parking space at the front entrance.
JOHNNY
Everyone’s gonna admire your beautiful work.
We’ll create demand for exotic wraps.
EXT. NEWPORT BAY COLLEGE – PARKING LOT – NIGHT
The El Camino pulls into a parking space. Johnny and Stevie get out.
JOHNNY
Wait in the truck, Chuey. We’ll just be a minute.
Stevie drops the tailgate and takes two plastic parking stops from the bed, carries them to the front of the pickup, and positions them between the lines
Johnny drives stakes with a sledgehammer, securing the stops in place on the asphalt.
Stevie centers a perforated square metal tube in front of the stops.
Johnny drives it in with the hammer.
Stevie bolts on a sign. They step back to admire their work. “RESERVED”
EXT. NEWPORT BAY COLLEGE – PARKING LOT – DAY
The El Camino decked out in eye-popping wrap and a bed liner, pulls into the nearly full lot and parks in the reserved space.
Stevie and Johnny get out. They spot the Bentley.
STEVIE
The road rage girls.
JOHNNY
They want us, Dude.
They climb into the bed of the pickup, open folding chairs, and sit watching cars enter and students, as they head out the entrance.
They spot two dorky-looking well-dressed kids carrying briefcases.
STEVIE
Young man, yeah you. Come here. You too.
The dorks approach.
TALL DORK
Nice paint job!
JOHNNY
You boys freshmen?
SHORT DORK
Yes sir.
STEVIE
I like the cut of your jib.
TALL DORK
My what?
JOHNNY
You boys desirous of pledging a frat?
SHORT DORK
A what?
STEVIE
Do you want to be in a fraternity?
SHORT DORK
A fraternity! Yeah.
STEVIE
Tell you what I’m gonna do. Meet the president
of betta phy hi.
JOHNNY
I need a favor, boys. Run a covert op for me.
TALL DORK
A what?
STEVIE
An operation. To obviate the necessity of exposing our agents.
SHORT DORK
Okay.
Stevie slips his ID card to Johnny who hands each of the dorks an ID and looks at his watch.
JOHNNY
Put these two in the same five classes. Get
back here PDQ and we’ll get you pledged into
betta phy hi.
TALL DORK
You can do that?
STEVIE
And we’ll fix you up with free accommodations.
You pay utilities.
JOHNNY
Lickety-split. You’re on the clock… and mum’s the word.
INT. GYMNASIUM – DAY
Using the ID cards, the two dorks go from table to table registering Johnny and Stevie for classes.
Wary of waiting in line, they spot a course registration table and observe as Dawn and Charlie scan their cards, take receipts, and leave. They look at each other twinkle-eyed.
REGISTRATION TABLE
Tall Dork swipes an ID card, takes a printout from the attendant, and reads. “Management Entrepreneurship, and Technology. Room 312 Maurice Jackson Hall. 09:00 hrs. Wednesday.”
INT. CLASSROOM – DAY
With class schedules in hand, Stevie and Johnny enter and take seats in the row behind Dawn and Charlie.
DOCTOR DOUGLAS, a tall stern-faced well-dressed man in his early sixties enters, goes to the blackboard, and writes. “Management Entrepreneurship, and Technology – Douglas”
He returns the chalk and stands behind his desk.
DOCTOR DOUGLAS
You have succeeded in passing business management
and advanced executive management qualifying you to
take MET.
Johnny and Stevie look at each other. Oh oh!
DOCTOR DOUGLAS (CONT’D)
Look to your left, now to your right. One or both
of those people will fail this class due to stupidity
or incompetence.
Douglas goes to the front and sits on the edge of the desk.
DOCTOR DOUGLAS (CONT’D)
The people who take this class are geniuses or those
unaware of my reputation for exposing fools that
darkening these hallowed halls. Douglas looks squarely
at Stevie and Johnny.
DOCTOR DOUGLAS (CONT’D)
Prepare to answer questions on chapters one through
five on Wednesday next. And remember, the simplest is
usually the best answer.
He turns and leaves.
STEVIE
Let’s drop this class before it gets complicated.
JOHNNY
No, Dude. We can do this. What about “It’ll happen
if we believe it will.” Audentes fortuna iuvat.
STEVIE
Yes. Fortune favors the bold.
MONTAGE – JOHNNY AND STEVIE WORK THE SYSTEM
— Johnny puts a sign on a school bulletin board. “FREE ROOMS – NON-NERDS NEED NOT APPLY. You pay utilities.”
— Stevie interviews applicant nerds and selects four very nerdy kids.
— In the elevated basket of an articulating boom lift, one of the nerds operates a nozzle, power washing Pearl’s house.
— Johnny hangs a sign above the front door of Pearl’s house. The Greek letters read, “BETTA FI HI”.
— Stevie puts a sign on a bulletin board. “TUTORIALS $50.00 TWO SESSIONS: MATH – PSYCHOLOGY – COMPUTER SCIENCE – ENGLISH”
— Johnny collects money from kids lined up to register for the tutorials. Dawn and Charlie stand in line.
END MONTAGE.
INT. CLASSROOM – DAY
Stevie and Johnny enter the mostly empty room and take seats.
Douglas enters, goes to the blackboard, takes chalk, and writes, The Douglas Challenge: “MAKE MONEY WHILE BENEFITING SOMEONE ELSE (USD 100.00)” He returns the chalk and turns.
DOCTOR DOUGLAS
I congratulate those of your colleagues wise enough to have
dropped this class. For the rest of you, you will form a
partnership with one person in this class and proceed
with preparing your business plan for the Douglas challenge.
He points to the blackboard.
DOCTOR DOUGLAS (CONTD)
That sum will be deposited Into each of your accounts
upon registering your MET project. Consider the money
an interest-free loan, payable in full at the end of the
quarter. Multiply your loan by four and you get a C, by
five for a B. For an A, you will need to turn each dollar
into ten. And show exactly how you did it. Your business
plans are due Wednesday next. The best thing you will
ever do will be the thing you do for someone else.
INT. GREYSTONE HOUSE – NIGHT
Pearl and Chuey watch Stevie and Johnny draw on the carpet.
Working upside down, Johnny draws in the east coast and the southern border of a United States map.
PEARL
If a water pipeline is such a good idea why
didn’t Elon Musk do one?
They sketch in the Great Lakes, the Mississippi, and Ohio rivers. A thick line from east to west through the center of the map.
STEVIE
We’ll need a straws up and down the line.
Johnny draws in a network of connecting lines from flood-prone areas to the thick line.
STEVIE
With what FIMA and the flood insurance companies
pay, they’ll be happy to fund our pipeline.
JOHNNY
We sell the water to Arizona and Nevada so
they can fill Lake Mead.
Chuey scampers over, lifts a leg, and pisses on the drawing.
JOHNNY
Come on, Chuey! Why didn’t you say you had to take
a piss?
STEVIE
Give ‘em a break, Johnny. Maybe he can’t talk.
PEARL
Maybe Chuey has a better idea.
JOHNNY
So Dude, let’s teach him to talk.
STEVIE
How do you propose we do that?
JOHNNY
How did we learn to talk?
STEVIE
Perceptive…! We talk to him enough and he’ll talk
back!
EXT. GREYSTONE HOUSE – BACKYARD – DAY
A frustrated Johnny stands shaking his head. Stevie lies prone on the ground with a puppy sock puppet with big eyes and false eyelashes, on his right hand.
STEVIE
Come on Chuey, Think with me.
Chuey cocks his head and makes a puppy sound.
SOCK PUPPET
You’ve got to think, little guy.
Chuey runs over to the bicycles and stands indicating.
JOHNNY
Chuey want go ride?
EXT. ROAD – DAY
Stevie and Johnny peddle their bikes side by side. Chuey rides on Stevie’s back, in a wraparound baby carrier.
CHUEY
Tree.
JOHNNY
He talked! He said tree.
CHUEY
Tree.
STEVIE
One word ain’t exactly talking.
CHUEY
Dude, pull over. I gotta take a piss.
JOHNNY
Holy shit! I knew he could talk. Stevie, we may
have something here.
STEVIE
Oh Yeah. With some coaching, we could exploit
our little guy.
As they pass an SUV parked on the street, a woman opens the hatch and puts in a Travel Kennel with a cat staring out from the grate.
JOHNNY
You see that, Chuey? Don’t be talkin’ to
strangers, They’ll snatch you up and put you in
a cage like that.
2 Sequence: Reluctant heroes locked into the conflict brought on by the call. Enter the villains of the story, Mr. GORDON and Mr. BRADFORD. They orchestrate the ripoff of Pearl’s house with an ID scam. Pearl gets the LETTER. The boys accompany Pearl to confront the banker, where they plead her case. INCITING INCIDENT Act 1 Plot Point: Lock the protagonist into the transformational journey/main conflict. 13 – 15 pages.
INT. BANK – EXECUTIVE SUITE – DAY
The spacious interior is furnished more like a living room than an office. A dark wood desk with classical-style gold legs and inlay gold borders dominates the space. Four chairs face the desk.
Across the room, two plush sofas, separated by a low table, face one another.
Mr. GORDON puts a finger to his lips, closes the door, and leads Mr. BRADFORD over to the far side of the room.
GORDON
A lock Brad, a done deal. It’s a non-juridical foreclosure.
With our power of sale clause, you swoop in and –
BRADFORD
Document forgery is a crime. I’m concerned
about the guy blabbing.
Gordon puts a finger to his lips and assumes a calming tone.
GORDON
The guy’s my brother. In for a third, he’ll cut
his tongue out for five hundred K – –
BRADFORD
Don’t forget who orchestrated the ID scam. Bank
fraud is a crime… What bothers me is blackmail.
What if he decides he wants more?
GORDON
Simmer Brad, it’s under control. By September
we’ll have it free and clear. You just make sure the
engineering is in place so we can break ground in
October.
BRADFORD
We on for dinner tonight?
GORDON
Ambrosia’s, eight-thirty.
INT. AMBROSIA’S – NIGHT
The crowded room is tastefully decorated in Grecian decor, columns, alabaster statuary, and the whole nine yards.
At a round table, Bradford, Dawn, Mrs. BRADFORD, Gordon, Charlie, and Mrs. GORDON sit chatting.
A busgirl sweeps the tablecloth and goes. The hovering waiter centers a low-profile bouquet and with a fairy-like flourish, takes his leave.
BRADFORD
Dawn looked at the architect’s drawings today.
She picked a nice penthouse suite for herself
and one for Charlie.
DAWN
I thought I’d do mine in all pink and gold, Mommy.
MRS BRADFORD
Oh, honey, your taste has always been impeccable.
Two waiters arrive and place menus in front of each person.
DAWN
Daddy, order something sweet for me.
GORDON
Dessert, Charlie?
CHARLIE
Sharly, s’il vous plaît, Papa.
GORDON
Have some dessert, Sharly.
CHARLIE
Sharly is too sweet for dessert, Papa.
INT. GREYSTONE HOUSE – BEDROOM – DAY
Stevie and Johnny dress for school while Chuey watches.
JOHNNY
You be a good boy while we’re gone.
STEVIE
And don’t bother Miss Pearl. If she calls, go
see what she wants.
Johnny fills a bowl with water and places it on a mat next to a dish full of dog food.
JOHNNY
Use your doggy door if you have to do your
business.
Using a controller, Stevie turns on the TV, sets it to the Animal channel, and tosses the controller on his bed.
Chuey takes up a position three feet in front of the TV and sits.
Johnny slips his hand into a sock puppet and sticks it in Chuey’s face.
SOCK PUPPET
Bye, Chuey
Chuey gives him a “Have you lost what was left of your mind.” look.
STEVIE
Be a good boy.
They exit leaving the door open a crack.
INT. GREYSTONE HOUSE – BEDROOM – DAY
PLACEHOLDER They return from school to find:
Chuey sitting in the same spot fixedly watching Charles Payne as he rhapsodizes on a stock.
JOHNNY
What’s the fascination with a business channel?
EXT. GREYSTONE HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT INCITING INCIDENT
Johnny, with the sock puppet on his right hand, and Stevie, sit on the floor talking to Chuey.
Pearl enters, glances over, and continues out of the room.
STEVIE
That was a gourmet spread, Miss Pearl.
JOHNNY
And don’t say it was Mister Jackson who taught
you to cook.
Doorbell RINGTONE.
Pearl (OS)
I’ll get it.
Pearl. (CONT’D)
Yes?
COURRIER (OS)
Courrier, Ma’am. Special delivery. Sign here, please?
Pearl returns with a receipt and a Manila envelope in hand.
PEARL
Oh, my. What does the County Recorder’s Office want
with me?
She hands the receipt to Johnny and the envelope to Stevie who opens it.
JOHNNY
What a beautiful signature! You write like
a calligrapher, Miss Pearl!!
STEVIE
(reading)
Notice of Default!
PEARL
What does it mean, Stevie?
STEVIE
(reading)
During the twenty-one-day period after the Notice of Sale
is recorded, any person or institution with an interest
in the property described below has the right to
redeem said property up until the nonjudicial
foreclosure sale/auction – –
JOHNNY
Leme see that.
He takes the letter.
JOHNNY (CONT’D)
(reading)
You have up until five days before the foreclosure
sale to cure the default and stop the process by
reinstating your loan.
PEARL
What loan? There’s never been a loan on my
property.
INT. BANK – EXECUTIVE SUITE – DAY
Pearl and the boys are ushered in by a secretary. Bradford stands to greet them.
BRADFORD
Please be seated, Miss. Jackson.
(to boys)
And you are?
STEVIE
Stephen Miller, that’s John Grant. We’re
the nephews.
PEARL
There must be a mistake.
Johnny eyeballs a baseball in a display cube on Bradford’s desk. The inscription on its base reads, “Mickey Mantle Home Run # 536”
Bradford produces a loan document and shows them Pearl’s signature and the loan amount of $1.5 million.
BRADFORD
There it is in black and white, Gentlemen.
Pearl Jackson has never made a payment
on this loan now one hundred and twenty
seven days in arrears.
STEVIE
How much was the payments?
Bradford points to the document.
BRADFORD
Right there. Fifteen-year mortgage at five point
four two percent. There’s your monthly debt service.
Pearl looks, flinches, grasps, and clutches Stevie’s arm.
PEARL
Every month?
BRADFORD
Or a lump sum payoff. As the bank holds the
mortgage, we can force the sale of the property
to cover the remaining debt amount.
Pearl bursts into tears. Stevie goes over and tries to console her.
JOHNNY
Yeah, we got that from your letter. Can I see
your ball?
Bradford hands Johnny the encased ball.
JOHNNY
Oh, oh, Mickey misspelled his name. Mantle is
with an L- E, not E- L.
INT. EL CAMINO – MOVING – NIGHT
Pearl sits with Chuey on her lap crying. Stevie at the window and Johnny driving.
STEVIE
Dude, this is identity theft. Someone’s used Pear’s
signature to take a loan on her property.
PEARL
(crying)
What are we to do, boys? This is all so impossible.
JOHNNY
Don’t cry, Miss Pearl. We’ll figure something out.
EXT. GREYSTONE HOUSE – BACKYARD – DAY TURNING POINT 1
Stevie and Johnny follow Chuey. The puppy takes off chasing a grasshopper. They turn and look back toward the house where Pearl stands, hose in hand, sprinkling her flower garden.
Johnny
Find the one who signed that ball and we
got the one that forged her signature.
STEVIE
Doable. But we need to make some fast
money.
JOHNNY
This is the real challenge. We deal with this or
Miss Pearl loses everything —
STEVIE
And there goes our side hustle. Confucius
say, money talkie and bullshit walkie.
JOHNNY
Chuey’s been watching the business channel.
Maybe he can pick a few winners.
STEVIE
Alea iacta est.
JOHNNY
The die is cast.
3 Sequence: Johnny and Stevie actively work to solve Pearl’s problem. They do the Stock market with Chuey, sell the stocks, and take the money to the banker. The Banker sweet-talks the boys and offers them apprenticeships if they cooperate and abandon the old lady. He must get them to stop looking into this. The boys see a Mickey Mantle baseball on Brdford’s desk. Mickey Mantle is misspelled. Could be that the forger of Pearl’s signature on the loan document? Gorden informs Bradford that his brother is attempting to blackmail them. B Story: Fun and Games: 12-14 pages
EXT. BEACH – DAY
Johnny uses a stick of driftwood to scrawl stock market ticker symbols in the sand.
Chuey watches.
JOHNNY
Let’s try a few more.
Stevie smooths out the sand with a foot and holds his phone for Johnny to see.
Johnny scratches out five more stock symbols.
Chuey cocks his head and looks up at them. He looks away.
STEVIE
This ain’t gonna work.
Johnny looks at the phone and scribbles five more symbols in the sand.
Chuey runs over to a symbol and indicates, tail wagging.
MONTAGE – PLAYING THE MARKET
— Stevie and Johnny open a brokerage account and deposit some money.
— They buy three stocks and watch them climb in value.
— Chuey picks more stocks.
— They buy more stocks and celebrate as they watch their portfolio increase in value.
END MONTAGE.
They sell the stocks, Pearl scrapes up her savings and they take the money to the Bank.
The banker takes the money and informs them that they’ve bought five days. Foreclosure proceedings will resume next week.
EXT/INT. TREE – BRADFORD RESIDENCE LIBRARY – NIGHT
Dawn reclines in pajamas, on a branch outside a second-story window, talking on her phone. She goes quiet when she sees Bradford and Gordon enter the library.
DAWN
(into phone)
She’s in for an oil change. Hang on. Your
dad’s here! They’re in the library.
She moves to conceal herself the the leaves and listens.
GORDON
He said we pay up or he spills the beans.
BRADFORD
We’ve got real trouble if this gets out.
GORDON
I’ll skin that little weasel alive. I’m calling mother.
He produces his phone, taps it, and waits.
GORDON
(into phone)
Mother, call JG.
He puts his phone in his pocket
BRADFORD
That scammin’ little son of a bitch! And here’s a
news flash. Those collector balls he sold us,
the signatures are forged.
Phone RINGTONE. Gorden takes his phone.
GORDON
I want to talk to mother… Someone I want
permanently silenced … I don’t give a shit how
you do it. Use your head… 231 Shadow Lane…
Short blond hair… five feet tall. ASAP.
Bradford goes to the open window, closes and locks it.
DAWN
(into phone)
Shadow lane? That’s my Uncle Jimmy’s house.
Call you right back.
EXT. ROAD – vehicle – NIGHT
Charlie at the wheel, Dawn riding shotgun, She lays her phone on the seat.
DAWN
He’s still not answering.
CHARLIE
I love the pajama outfit.
DAWN
Can we speed up a little?
The vehicle accelerates.
LOCATION – NIGHT
Stevie and Johnny sit looking at Johnny’s phone.
STEVIE
Try Yogi Berra memorabilia.
Johnny taps his phone.
JOHNNY
Here we go.
(reading)
Yogi Berra C-O-L-E-C-T-E-R baseball for sale.
Best offer. Bring cash to 231 Shadow Lane.
STEVIE
Logic and spelling not his strong suits.
STEVIE
Could be our man. Let’s go see.
EXT. 231 SHADOW LANE – NIGHT
The El Camino rolls up to a rundown yellow one-bedroom house. As it circles to the back, the boys note the two vehicles parked in the side yard. The pickup stops next to three plastic trash bins.
The boys get out and head for the back door.
JOHNNY
Wait in the truck, Chuey.
A black Hummer with a PEAKED-LOOKING THUG at the wheel rolls up and parks on the street.
A TALL SKINNY THUG climbs out from the back seat and assists a SHORT FAT THUG to the ground, he brings out two coils of cotton rope and pushes the door shut. The three head for the house.
INT. 231 SHADOW LANE – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Stevie and Johnny enter and see Dawn helping Jimmy to put on a shirt. Charlie hurries in wheeling a carry-on bag.
DAWN
What are you doing here?
STEVIE
We need a word with this guy.
DAWN
Not now, please. We have to hurry.
The three thugs burst in, Short Fat brandishing a chrome-plated revolver.
SHORT FAT THUG
Police business. Everyone stay where you are.
PEAKED-LOOKING THUG
Up against the wall and no one gets hurt.
Tall Skinny throws Jimmy against the wall and brings his hands behind him.
Peaked drops the rope, produces a tie wrap, binds Jimmy’s hands, picks up the coils, and stands panting.
SHORT FAT THUG
When you catch your breath you can tie up
these four people.
PEAKED-LOOKING THUG
We ain’t got enough for four people. Gut.
We only got two ropes.
SHORT FAT THUG
Use your head, you moron. Tie ‘em together.
Tall Skinny goes to Peaked, takes a rope end from each coil, and ties them together.
SHORT FAT THUG
Not the rope, moron, tie the people. Use your
head.
TALL SKINNY THUG
How am I supposed to tie people with my head?
INT. 231 SHADOW LANE – LIVING ROOM – LATER
Johnny and Charlie sit back to back on a chair with a rope coiled, elbow to armpit, binding them.
On the floor, Stevie and Dawn lay face to face, with a rope coiled around them.
DAWN
Stop struggling, Stevie. The ropes are hurting me.
JOHNNY
Call Chuey.
STEVIE
Not so fast. I think I’m liking this.
DAWN
Chuey.
JOHNNY
All together now, on three. Two and, three.
The four bellow in unison, CHUEY.
EXT. 231 SHADOW LANE – EL CAMINO – NIGHT
Chuey’s ears go up. He jumps up and stands on the front seat looking out the open window.
THE FOUR VOICES (OS)
CHUEY.
He scampers to the doorsill, teeters, and jumps. He bounces on the trash bin’s lid, lands on the ground, and runs to the open door.
INT. 231 SHADOW LANE – LIVING ROOM
Chuey stands looking at the four trussed-up people.
JOHNNY
Good boy, Chuey. Untie us.
Chuey goes to Johnny and looks up.
CHARLIE
Untie your Stevie, Chuey.
Chuey runs over to Stevie and Dawn. He takes the knotted rope-end in his mouth and tugs, tightening the rope.
STEVIE
It’s woven through the coils, Chuey.
Gotta pull where it goes in.
Chuey bites the loop where the rope enters the first coil, pulls it up, and gnaws on it.
STEVIE
Take your time, Chuey.
LATER
Chuey leaves the frayed loop, returns to the knot end, takes it in his mouth, pulls out a short piece of rope, and backs up thrashing the rope left to right as he goes.
He returns to the frayed end of the rope coiled around Stevie and Dawn, takes it in his teeth, and braces himself.
Stevie and Dawn roll, unwinding the coil from abound their bodies.
JOHNNY
Good boy, Chuey.
EXT. BANK – NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER: The Thugs deliver Jimmy to Gordon and Bradford, who locks him in the vault.
4 Sequence: The fun continues with the boys staging a night of entertainment. But it backfires when they use Chuey in their ventriloquist act and Chuey embarrasses the girls abruptly ending what was the beginning of a beautiful relationship. No one believes there’s a talking dog. They think Stevie has insulted the girls. Act 2 TP: Midpoint – The journey remains the same, but the meaning/context of the story changes hugely. 12-14 pages
INT. COLLEGE GYMNASIUM – DAY
Noisy kids mill about in the crowded room, now arranged with rows of folding chairs and a platform stage.
Stevie enters carrying Chuey and a dunce stool. He steps up on the platform, sets the stool, and places Chuey on it.
STEVIE
Take your seats, Barbarians. Prepare
to be entertained. Ladies may proceed
to the front.
The kids scramble for chairs. Dawn, Charlie, and several other girls take front-row seats.
Johnny enters wearing a cape and a dunce hat. He steps to the platform and stands at the far side posing.
TALL DORK
Let’s get the show on the road.
STEVIE
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the
great Jonathan.
CHUEY
Welcome to the debut of the world’s greatest
ventriloquist.
The kids applaud.
SHORT DORK
Johnny’s lips moved. We’re not impressed,
Oh, great one.
JOHNNY
Observe my puppet dog and watch closely.
STEVIE
Who will lend me a sock?
A kid tears off his shoes, removes his socks, stuffs one into the other, and tosses the wad at Stevie.
He catches it.
STEVIE (CONT’D)
A belt? Anyone? A belt?
Dawn removes her belt, rolls it up, and tosses it to Stevie.
Stevie goes to Johnny, stuffs the socks wad into his mouth, puts the belt around his head, and tightens the gag in place.
Johnny raises his arms with a flourish and throws the focus to Chuey.
CHUEY
(to Charlie)
You’re lookin’ good there, Charlie. Want
to fool around … again?
The kids roar with laughter.
SHORT DORK
Let’s have no more of that.
CHUEY
Shut up.
(to Dawn)
Hi Sweets. I like the way you stripped off that belt.
Get up here and show us some skin.
CHARLIE
That’s humiliating!
Charlie and Dawn get up and make for the door.
DAWN
Stevie Miller, you will never speak to me again,
not ever again.
CHARLIE
And that goes double for you, Johnny Grant.
They run out, crying.
-
Subject line: Jennifer Williams – Finished Act 1
1. “What I learned doing this assignment is…?”
· What I learned doing this assignment is how easy it was to complete Act 1 and see the holes in the story. I was able to see also if a character was lost or needed in the scene. I’m continuing to see the sequence of the scenes as the story unfolds.
2. Outline any other scenes left to write in Act 1.
3. Write a 20% draft of those scenes.
4. With those scenes done, do a quick read of Act 1 and add/improve anything you’d like. No wordsmithing!
ACT 1
• OPENING:
FADE IN:
INT. CHURCH – DAY
In the church’s vestibule, DELORES SELENÁE CHANEY, 40s, is distressed as she prepares to walk down the aisle. PAUL SMITH, 60s, a debonaire gentleman who exudes confidence and style, Delores’ father, takes her to the side to determine their next move.
INT. CHURCH – DAY
With tears in her eyes, Paul sees his daughter in distress.
PAUL
Baby Girl, if you have doubts, I can call this wedding off.
DELORES
No, Dad, I don’t have doubts. I just remember the first time and never thought I would do this again.
INT. CHURCH – DAY
KENDRA PERKINS, 40s, Delores’ best friend and Maid of Honor, enters the lobby with MAURI CHANEY, 19, preparing to march into the church.
Kendra notices Mr. Smith uses his handkerchief to dab Delores’ eyes. She quietly walks over to them.
KENDRA
Girl, what’s going on? We can end this now if you want.
DELORES
You sound just like Daddy. No, I’m fine.
Mr. Smith and Kendra exchange a look.
INT. CHURCH – DAY
The church doors open, and the music begins to play; Mauri walks down the aisle.
Kendra takes her place and follows.
Paul and Delores step up, and the music stops. The congregation turns toward the altar, but we don’t see the groom.
TITLE CARD: ONE YEAR EARLIER
INT. DELORES HOME – DAY
Delores waits for Mauri to come downstairs so they can go to the gym. She stares at the picture of herself and her husband, TREVOR CHANEY, who passed away, on the mantle.
DELORES
Mauri, your aunt will be here soon. Don’t take too long.
The doorbell rings, and Kendra, her best friend, enters.
Based on the look on Delores’ face, Kendra can tell she is thinking of her late husband. Kendra tries to assure her that since it’s been more than a year since his passing it’s all right to move on with her life.
END
INT. GYM – DAY
Delores, Mauri, and Kendra enter the gym, passing several workout areas, and a man attempts to talk with Delores. Delores speaks but ignores his advance. Kendra calls her on it. The three work out and, after 90 minutes, end their workout. Kendra has set up a not-so-chance meeting with NICK OLIVER, 40s. Nick invites Delores for coffee afterward, but she politely declines, citing a work meeting.
BEGINNING
INT. DELORES’ OFFICE – DAY
Delores gets to work, and her Co-Worker, JAMES PRICE, 40s, Chief Operations Officer, who has been trying to get to know her on a non-work level, creates a reason for them to have lunch together.
EXT. HALLWAY – DAY
James is standing in the hallway on his cell phone.
JAMES
I’m actually outside your office. May I come in?
INT. DELORES’ OFFICE – DAY
Delores picks of her phone to hear James on the other end. She tries to get out of lunch.
DELORES
James you know I have so many things to take care of, can I get a rain check?
JAMES
I’ll make it quick: I want to discuss the Young Entrepreneurs Retreat with you.
James reminds her of the Young Retreat she assisted him with and lets her know he wants to discuss the upcoming event.
He also reminds her of the times in the past they spent together.
Delores feels things going further than she’s ready for.
DELORES
That’s great, and I want to participate, but let’s table this until later.
She turns her attention to her computer to indicate something came up.
makes an excuse and gets out of lunch.
DELORES (CONT’D)
I just received a message from the Chief’s secretary. I’ll have to make it another time.
Delores stands and walks around her desk to the door.
James leaves feeling rejected but still hopeful.
INT. DELORES’ OFFICE – DAY
Delores is in the office late and meets up with LYLE COLLINS, 40s, the online gentleman she’s been communicating with for several months, in an online specialty book lover’s room, and they engage in delightful banter.
INT. DELORES’ OFFICE – DAY
Totally out of character, Lyle convinces her to meet him for dinner since he is in Los Angeles for the evening. They exchange personal information via email.
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
James has the waiter bring champagne.
Delores questions the occasion for the champagne, and he lets her know that it is because they are finally sharing more than just online communication.
INT. GYM – DAY
Delores is unusually giddy at the gym. Mauri tells her she has not seen her smile like that in a long time. Kendra pulls her to the side and tells her she wants to know details about dinner.
INT. DELORES’ OFFICE – DAY
It’s finally the end of the day, and Delores cleans her desk, preparing for her phone time with Lyle. In this conversation, Lyle invites Delores to Seattle for the vacation of her life. He tells her to just pack, and he’ll handle all the details. Delores places a red circle around the date on the calendar.
INT. DELORES OFFICE – DAY
A week has passed and the date on the calendar is in red.
Chaos in the office, but she tries to ignore it.
James pays her a visit, and she cuts it short and leaves work early.
INT. SALON – DAY
Delores finally leaves the office and goes to the salon getting ready for the trip.
INT. VICTORIA’S SECRET STORE – DAY
Delores goes on a spending spree, purchasing the right garments to enhance her trip.
INT. DELORES’ HOUSE – DAY
Kendra meets her at the house to make sure she gets off all right and takes Mauri to her grandmother’s house.
KENDRA
So, what’s the reason you’re stayng so long?
DELORES
I told you I’ve applied for a few jobs in that area, and I’m going to set up the interviews. This will be a great move for me.
KENDRA
That’s what you told Mauri; she even knows that’s a lie. Are you staying with Lyle or in a hotel?
DELORES
Straight to the point. Yes, I’m staying with Lyle. I’ll be fine. He’s safe.
KENDRA
Delores, I met him, and yes, he seems like a good guy, but you need to send me all the details. We need to know where you are for no other reason in case we need you here.
Kendra pulls out her phone and Delores texts her all the details.
Mauri comes downstairs, hugs and kisses her mother, and then she and Kendra leave.
Delores cell phone rings, it’s Lyle.
They discuss her arrival.
Establishing shot of Seattle skyline and a view of the Pugent Sound.
Lyle’s office in downtown Seattle has a view of the Space Needle.
INT. LYLE’S OUTER OFFICE SEATTLE – DAY
CINDY COLLINS, 30s, Lyle’s ex-wife and former model/actress, enters the office with their son, MATTHEW COLLINS, 7, while CLARA LATHAM, the Office Manager, is seated at her desk answering a call.
Ms. Latham tries to stop her; she overhears part of the conversation that LYLE COLLINS, 40s, is having with Selenáe.
NT. LYLE’S OFFICE SEATTLE – DAY
CLARA is seated at her desk, answering a call when CINDY and MATTHEW enter the office.
Clara jumps up to stop her from entering Lyle’s office.
CINDY
Get out of my way.
Cindy yells, pushes through the door, dragging Matthew.
Lyle ends his call before she is heard by Selenáe.
Matthew runs and jumps into his father’s arms. Cindy begins to question Lyle about who he was speaking with.
CINDY (CONT’D)
Who was that you’re rushing off the phone? Your new girlfriend?
LYLE
Hey Bud! I’ve missed you. Come on, let’s see what we can find in the break room.
Lyle avoids Cindy’s questioning and leaves the room with Matthew.
INT. LYLE’S OFFICE SEATTLE – DAY
Cindy walks around the desk, sees the website on the computer, and looks at the paper on his desk where she sees doodles with Selenáe’s screenname, the printed email with her email address and phone number, as well as Lyle’s plans for a vacation for the two of them. She hears him returning and quickly moves back in front of the desk.
LYLE
Why are you here Cindy? This is your two weeks and I deposited the funds already.
CINDY
Matthew wanted to see his Dad.
LYLE
Well, I have to get back to work.
CINDY
I’m sure you do. Give your Dad a hug, Sweetie we have to go.
MATTHEW
Bye Daddy.
CINDY
(Sotto)
I’ll have to check on that work.
EXT. LYLE’S HOME – DAY
Delores arrives and is taken aback by the beautiful landscaping. They had many talks about gardens. The LIMO DRIVER, escorts her to the door with her bags.
DELORES
This looks like something out of my House and Garden magazine.
Lyle comes out of the house and greets Delores with a bear hug.
LYLE
I’m so happy you’re here. I have so many plans for us.
DELORES
Your yard is gorgeous.
LYLE
I wanted it to be what you liked.
INT. LYLE’S HOME – DAY
Delores entered the foyer and was totally mesmerized. Vaulted ceilings, staircase leading to second floor visible landing, and open concept kitchen.
DELORES
Lyle this is amazing. I can see from the front door to the back deck.
LYLE
I guess you can.
Lyle was pleased with himself.
INT. KITCHEN ISLAND – NIGHT
Lyle prepared dinner and they ate at the island on Delores insistence.
EXT. TERRACE – DAY
Lyle served Selenae breakfast on the terrace the next morning. He reviewed there itinerary.
DELORES
The weather is a little cooler than I expected.
LYLE
I’ll see if I can get my assistant Tina to assist you if you need to shop for warmer clothes before we set out on our adventure.
BEGIN MONTAGE:
-Tina takes Delores shopping
-Lyle packs a go bag.
-They arrive at Oswego Hotel in Victoria, Canada
-Tour the Botanic Gardens
-Have Queens Tea
-Return to Lyle’s Condo in the Pugent Sound
END MONTAGE
INT. LYLE’S CONDO – DAY
Delores was astonished because the condo was a miniature version of the house. After a few days of exploring Seattle together, Lyle serves Selenáe breakfast in bed.
DELORES
A girl could get used to this.
LYLE
That’s my plan.
DELORES
So you’re saying you’d do this every day?
LYLE
Not everyday but enough that you know you’re special.
Lyle’s phone rings, and he takes the call in the other room.
Lyle leaves Selenáe at his home while he goes out to handle unexpected business.
Delores receives a telephone call from Lyle while he’s on his way.
To her surprise he expresses his excitement over their physical relationship, rather than professing his undying love.
INT. LYLE’S CONDO – DAY
Delores Selenáe starts to pack her things, not sure she could handle being there when Lyle returns. The telephone next to her rings, and she answers without thinking.
DELORES
Hello.
CINDY
Hello. Tina, is that you? Where’s Lyle?
DELORES
No, this is not Tina. I’m sorry, Lyle stepped out. May I take a message?
Delores realizes she has made a mistake by answering as soon as she hears the woman’s voice.
CINDY
Who is this?
DLEORES
I’m a friend of Lyle’s. Would you like to leave a message for him?
CINDY
Oh, you’re a friend with permission to answer his phone? Well! This is Cindy, his wife!
DELORES
Oh, you’re his ex-wife. Well. I’ll let him know you called.
CINDY
Oh no, Dear! You got it all wrong. I’ll only be his ex- for a few more weeks. He didn’t tell you we were reconciling? I’m sorry. Maybe he was going to mention it after he slept with you! He likes to get in all he can before we officially return to our holy matrimony.
Delores felt a sharp pain and grabbed her stomach. Attempts to compose herself.
DELORES
No. No, he never mentioned your reconciliation. However, as I stated, I am just a friend; we don’t sleep together.
CINDY
Whatever you say, dear. Anyway, I’ll call him back later. You have a nice visit, friend!
Delores hangs up the phone.
Cindy looks at the phone and starts to laugh.
INT. LYLE’S HOME – NIGHT
Delores calls for a taxi to the airport, and she leaves Lyle’s home with just a note on his phone.
Lyle returns home to find Selenáe has left. He gets a phone call from Cindy. They argue after he learns what she has done.
INT. LYLE’S HOME – NIGHT
Lyle calls Selenáe, leaves a voicemail, and texts her to no avail. He receives a call from Cindy and learns what transpired between her and Selenáe.
EXT./INT. LYLE’S CAR – NIGHT
Lyle takes off for the airport to try and stop Selenáe.
EXT./INT. LYLE’S CAR – NIGHT
Lyle calls Karen to share that he plans to propose to Selenáe, but is involved in an accident.
INT. DELORES’ HOME – NIGHT
Ignoring the messages from Lyle, after crying all the way home on the two-hour flight and the car ride home, she decides to be alone, not contacting Mauri, due to her state of mind.
INT. GYM – DAY
Delores tries to work out with Mauri and Kendra as usual but finds it difficult.
Kendra tries to snap her out of the fog she’s in, but it doesn’t work.
INT. JAMES’ OFFICE – DAY
James decides he needs to be more aggressive with his pursuit of Delores and elicits the guidance of Michael. James’ fraternity brother, MICHAEL LEE, 40s, meets him for lunch. Michael tells him to drop the business angle and to show her his passion, romance her.
MONTH LATER…
INT. GYM – DAY
Delores, Kendra, and Mauri continue their workout routine. A month has passed, but Delores has not heard from Lyle since his message the night she left. However, James has begun enthusiastically pursuing her. Receives a delivery of yellow roses from James.
INT. DELORES’ HOME – DAY
Kendra comes to the house at Delores’ request and shares the highlights of her trip to Seattle and that he’ll be reconciling per his ex-wife. Delores tells Kendra she’s done with getting her heart broken. Kendra first asks if she had met the ex-wife or if she saw her at all. She then asks if there were any signs of the woman being there or evidence of her in the house. Delores thought for a second but dismissed that things were probably hidden. Then Kendra asks about the roses. Kendra reminds her that she and James have always been the relationship she should commit.
INT. DELORES’ OFFICE – NIGHT
Delores retreats to old ways, spending late days in the office.
INT. DELORES HOME – NIGHT
Delores returns to occupying her time online, but it doesn’t serve her.
Unbeknownst to Delores, Cindy posted photos on the Internet that made it seem like she had reconciled with her Lyle, Ex-husband.
Kendra talks Delores into going out with her James.
Delores decides to move on from Lyle.
END ACT 1
-
Steve Jones – Finish Act 1
What I learned doing this assignment is that I could be doing this so much faster if it was my job and not just a hobby I’m squeezing into my life.
INT. OFFICE ON EARTH – SEATTLE – NIGHT
CARINA ELLIS watches the distant lightning of a mega-storm in the horizon as it lights up the Seattle skyline. She’s late thirties, fit and determined. Look at the tension in that jawline.
KEENAN BELISSIMO waltzes into the office without knocking. He’s similar age to Carina but he’s an oil slick on legs and thinks he’s God’s Gift to everyone.
KEENAN
What’s so important?
CARINA
Ellis didn’t make it.
KEENAN
He got spotted?
CARINA
No, he got killed.
KEENAN
What? How? Where? Who killed him? Why?
CARINA
I’m not repeating myself. I don’t know, outside the Spaceport, I don’t know and isn’t it obvious?
KEENAN
Huh?
CARINA
Don’t ask questions if you don’t want answers.
Carina sits at her desk and studies her data pad.
KEENAN
That the feed?
Carina lays the datapad on the desk for Keenan. She won’t hand it to him in case she touches him by accident.
Keenan picks it up. He moves his lips as he reads.
KEENAN (cont’d)
Says he was killed in the woods outside the Spaceport.
CARINA
I’m going to do something about this.
KEENAN
Sure… What?
CARINA
Book me on the next ship.
KEENAN
Where to? What? Mars? Are you having an aneurysm? He’ll pitch a fit.
CARINA
I don’t care what Mr Worple does. I care about the people that trust me to give them a new life, not get them killed.
Keenan is exasperated.
KEENAN
But you can’t go. Who will do the stuff around here?
CARINA
You will. And I can keep an eye on Duke and Florry if I go with them.
Keenan starts to pace round the office dramatically.
KEENAN
But, you can’t go.
CARINA
I can. I have Martian citizenship, I have the money, I haven’t had a holiday in six years. What’s stopping me?
KEENAN
Me! Worple! The people who need you here. Everyone. Think about this.
CARINA
I have and it’s all set. I’ll sort out the ticket. You ask Duke and Florry to get over here and I’ll explain it all to them. They need to know that things are a lot more dangerous now but I’m going to be there with them. They may decide to pull out. Have you thought of that?
KEENAN
What? They can’t! Would they do that?
CARINA
What would you do?
KEENAN
I’d… pull out.
CARINA
Exactly. You wouldn’t risk getting killed would you?
KEENAN
You should go I’ll tell Worple you’re coming.
CARINA
No, you won’t do that. I don’t want anyone to be forewarned. my name will be on the passenger list but there’s no need to advertise. So, no don’t tell him.
KEENAN
OK, you’re the boss.
CARINA
Correct. Now, I’m going to take a minute to freshen up.
Carina leaves the office.
Keenan pulls out his COMMS from his pocket. He taps the screen and holds it to his ear.
KEENAN
Tell him she’s coming with the next shipment. She’ll be on Mars in three days. What does he want me to do?
Keenan hangs up and tries not to look worried.
EXT. WOODLAND NEAR SPACEPORT – DAY
Harry and the robot approach the scene of the murder. A dome of static covers the scene and a couple of forensic types scan the area with various devices.
Harry and the robot walk up to the dome and pass through.
INT. FORENSIC DOME – DAY
Harry looks around at the charred grass where Ellis died.
ROBOT
Would you like me to scan for traces?
HARRY
No, I can do it.
Harry crouches onto his haunches and examines the area.
The robot leans over to see what Harry is looking at. It then starts to scan anyway as Harry does his version.
HARRY (cont’d)
So, it looks like he met someone.
The robot shows a 3D scan of his version.
ROBOT
And they spent a few seconds uneventfully.
The scan shows the two figures face each other.
HARRY
Before the assailant got behind him…
ROBOT
Probably holding him around his neck…
The image shows the attack.
HARRY
Until he froze his victim and had time to come round the front…
ROBOT
Administer the incendiary…
HARRY
with some sort of time delay…
ROBOT
And amble off into the sunset.
HARRY
Sunrise. Not bad.
ROBOT
Thank you.
HARRY
OK, so we’re looking for timings between administration and activation. How long before I got here was the attack. And we need to know about the freeze agent and the incendiary itself.
ROBOT
To what end?
HARRY
If we know what they used, it might tell us what they were trying to achieve and that might go some way to telling us something about why they did this.
ROBOT
Not just an Earth-hater?
HARRY
To prepared. To clinical and too brutal. How on Mars did they get these chemicals? There are no production facilities for this and only medical supplies and specific building materials are transported from Earth.
ROBOT
Why is that?
HARRY
Pollution. We don’t want it and Earth already has it. Let them choke.
ROBOT
What next then?
HARRY
We go and ask a friend of mine for answers to our questions.
Harry heads for the edge of the static dome.
HARRY (cont’d)
Come on.
The robot follows him.
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