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Lesson 12
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SUBJECT: Mark Napier’s Finished ACT 1
What did I learn? I learned a good deal about 4 ACT structuring, formatting, beat sheets, scene setup, dialogue and outline combined, facilitates the orchestration of a finished product…albeit a draft. I intend to go back and relook at the beat sheet as I feel I was a little slow in grasping the concept.
UPDATE: I finally understand the Beat Sheet now after reviewing lesson #7 again. The Beat Sheet highlights the scenes (sorta like a table of content of a book) that compose that portion of the ACT in question of the Four ACT Structure. The Outline highlights what to expect from the compositions of each of the scenes beginning, middle and end. The Dialog is a breakdown of each scene. The end state is to program verify that the Dialog, Outline and Beat Sheet are all in sync pushing the same message or story line as depicted and sought after in the Four Act Structure. Transition Events, Turning Points, Inciting Incidents and Place Holders help to fine tune the finished product that hopefully makes the 4 Act Structure worth reading in the first place.
<b style=”background-color: transparent; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; color: var(–bb-body-text-color);”>BEAT SHEET OPENING SCENE:
SLUG: INT–CIA Station (COM office), Baghdad, Iraq–Night
–Mark finds himself on a midnight rendition operation to secure, disarm and escort an Agency employee for immediate expulsion from the country over an incident that later reveals a ‘Top Secret’ ironic twist.
ACT 1:
OPENING SCENE OUTLINE:
BEGINNING: Mark is astonished by Chief of Mission (who is filling in as Acting Chief of Station) is cursing and suddenly calls Mark and Station’s Chief of Security (Tom) into the Deputy Chief of Station’s office.
MIDDLE: COM orders Mark and Tom to board a helicopter for Tikrit, Iraq and take into custody one of Mark’s Military Liaison Cell team members and take him to the CIA airfield in Baghdad for immediate expulsion from country.
END: Mark and Tom depart the office without questioning the orders.
ACT 1:
SLUG: INT–CIA Station (COM office), Baghdad, Iraq–Night
OPENING SCENE: Chief of Mission (COM) Banks storms out of his office into the adjoining office of Deputy Chief of Station. The Chief of Station (COS) and Deputy Chief of Station (DCOS) are not in the country and are not expected to return for another week.
TE 1: Mark is working at his computer and looks up when he abruptly hears COM make an astonishing remark…“I am going to throw that son-of-a-bitch in prison!”
DESCRIPTION: COM calls out to Mark and Tom, the Station’s Chief of Security, to come into the DCOS’ office. Both arrive and remain standing in Bank’s presence.
TE 2: Banks says…”I have a mission for you both and it involves two of Mark’s team members up range in Tikrit.
TE 3: Banks:…“I just got a call from the Cell Leader…Joe…that he had a heated argument with Gary who is the Communications Officer there. Gary threatened Joe with a knife that Gary threw at him.”
TE4: Banks: “ I want you guys to report to the flight line and board a helicopter. I’ve already arranged the helo and it will be here in 30 minutes. Time now is 1230 AM. Be at the flight line by 1 AM. Your mission is to secure, escort and expel Gary from country. IMMEDIATELY!…No ifs, ands, or buts about it!…. GO!”
DESCRIPTION: Mark and Tom glance at each other and immediately depart the office without a word to grab their survival gear and report to the flight line.
ACT 1:
BEAT SHEET INCITING INCIDENT:
SLUG: EXT–CIA Flight Line, Baghdad, Iraq–Night
–Mark and Station’s Chief of Security board helicopter for Tikrit, Iraq.
SLUG: EXT–CIA Military Liaison Cell Flight Line, Tikrit, Iraq–Night
–Mark apprehends the person of interest without incident, but their plea for help is summarily dismissed by the Station’s Chief of Security.
SLUG: EXT–CIA Flight Line Baghdad, Iraq–Night
–Gary reveals to Mark the truth of what the altercation was about and makes a plea for Mark to call Headquarters to confirm his story.
OUTLINE:
INCITING INCIDENT:
BEGINNING: Mark and Station’s Chief of Security (Tom) arrive in Tikrit, Iraq to take Gary back for deportation from country. Gary pleads for Tom to read his supporting evidence, but is ignored.
MIDDLE: Mark takes custody of Gary at the flight line to ensure his departure. Mark notices the flight line Security Chief’s facial reaction to Gary’s pleas for help.
END: Gary reveals the secret of what transpired between him and Joe and that child pornography was involved. He was merely admonishing Joe for his illegal activity and did not use a knife to attack Joe as he had claimed..
ACT 1:
INCITING INCIDENT:
SLUG: EXT–CIA Flight Line, Baghdad, Iraq–Night
DESCRIPTION: In the dark of night Mark and Tom are wearing helmets and gear as they sit strapped into their seats and deep into their own thoughts. Mark has known the Station Chief of Security from 12 years since when both were assigned to the Security Duty Office and Operations Center at the time of the 1993 CIA Headquarters shooting incident perpetrated by Mir Aimal Kansi.
SLUG: EXT–CIA Military Liaison Cell Flight Line, Tikrit, Iraq–Night
DESCRIPTION: Mark and Chief of Security disembark the helicopter that remains on standby and both walk to the building that houses Mark’s team. Mark enters the office and finds Gary with his duffle bag at his feet already prepared for their arrival as if he knew what was coming. Tom bravely takes a position behind Mark using him as a human shield, if something were to go wrong that Gary did not wish to be disarmed.
TE 5: Mark says with sympathy…”Hi Gary! You no doubt know why we are here. ” Gary nods his head yes.
Mark says:…“I am sorry, but I am going to have to ask you for your side arm. Gary says..”Yeah, no problem!” Gary hands over his Glock 9mm with magazines to Mark.
Tom comments sourly:…”And the knife too.” Gary complies and hands Mark the knife that has about a 6 inch bell shaped blade to it.
Mark says:…”OK…Well let’s go. We have a helicopter outside waiting.”
Gary says:.. “But wait!
DESCRIPTION: Gary extends a handful of documents out to the Chief of Security.
Gary says:…”Can’t you read this first?” Please???
DESCRIPTION: Tom nods his head to say no and makes no effort to take possession of the documents.
Chief of Security says:…”No. Let’s go!”
SLUG: EXT–CIA Flight Line Baghdad, Iraq–Night
DESCRIPTION: After a 45 minute flight, Mark disembarks the helicopter with Gary to ensure he is on the outbound flight for Washington, DC. Tom decides he will go back to Station. Mark and Gary stay on the flight line awaiting the CIA’s ‘J-Lo flight’ to arrive. Gary is starting to stress out and begins to feel ostracized for doing what he thought was right. The flight line Security Chief arrives soon after to meet them and knows only what the Station Chief of Security has told her.
DESCRIPTION: Sally (CIA flight line Security Chief): Struts up to Mark and Gary and introduces herself.
Sally: “Hi!…Early good morning to you both. Which one is Gary?” Gary raises his hand and moves closer to her.
Sally: “I have a container here so you can place your belongings in. Is there anything else I can help you with?”
Gary asks Sally and Mark: “I cannot believe what’s going on here. Why am I being treated this way? Why is Joe not being kicked out as well? I mean I did nothing wrong!”
DESCRIPTION: Sally who is standing closer to Gary winces in surprise when Gary leans forward to tell her something, but Mark cannot hear what was said as an aircraft was landing.
Sally: “Would you like me to arrange for you to speak with a psychiatrist in Jordan during your layover? I can tell you are visibly stressed about the ordeal.”
Gary: “Yes…..Yes I think I need to.” Sally then wishes Mark goodbye and for Gary to have a safe trip and departs.
Gary then addresses Mark: “Look can you do me a big favor and read this material I tried to give to the Station Chief of Security? ….Please?
DESCRIPTION: Gary extends about 20 pages of handwritten notes to Mark who accepts it and briefly scans through it. At this point, the aircraft that landed as Gary was speaking to Sally happened to be the CIA’s J-Lo flight and being refueled.
Gary: “Please call OMA in Washington. “They will tell you what is going on.?”
TE 6: Gary: “This incident is about Joe downloading child pornography onto two CIA Top Secret computers… Mark winces in surprise.
Gary: “ Joe’s wife is from Thailand and you know what it’s like with those folks. They could be 18 years old but look like a 8 year old. I am a grandfather and when I saw that shit I was so pissed I chewed his ass. I told him I was going to kick his ass.”
Gary: “Then Joe said…’You got a knife!’…so I pulled the knife from my pocket and tossed it on the couch and told him I am ready to kick his fat ass! That is when the fat bastard ran to the phone to call Banks.”
Mark: “You never laid a hand on him or threw the knife at him?”
Gary: “Hell no!”
BEAT SHEET PROTAGONIST REACTS EMOTIONALLY TO INCITING INCIDENT:
SLUG: INT–CIA Flight Line (Security Office), Baghdad, Iraq–Night
–Mark confirms with CIA Headquarters the irony of the turn of events and though he cannot change the outcome of Gary’s expulsion, Mark tries to restore Gary’s faith in his innocence.
OUTLINE:
PROTAGONIST REACTS EMOTIONALLY TO INCITING INCIDENT:
BEGINNING: After Gary reveals his secret, Mark contacts CIA Headquarters’ home office who confirms that child pornography was downloaded onto two Agency Top Secret computers.
MIDDLE: HQs asks Mark to stop the expulsion, but its too late as Gary has just minutes to go.
END: As a gesture of good will and faith in restoring some dignity to Gary that lost over the ordeal, Mark hands back Gary’s knife demonstrating trust and belief in him. However, two days later Mark notices, in sharp contrast, how Joe is permitted to leave country with dignity.
ACT 1:
PROTAGONIST REACTS EMOTIONALLY TO THE INCITING INCIDENT:
SLUG: INT–CIA Flight Line (Security Office), Baghdad, Iraq–Night
DESCRIPTION: Mark and Gary quickly step over to the security office and make a secure line call back to our home office. Our Branch Chief (Doug) answers the phone.
Doug: “Office of Military Affairs Exercise and Contingency Office. How may I help you?”
Mark: “Doug this is Mark. I am standing on the flight line here in Baghdad just minutes away from tossing Gary out of country.”
Doug: “Mark, do you know what this is about?”
Mark: “Evidently not, since Station and I have been kept completely out of the loop on this.”
Doug: “This is about Joe downloading child pornography onto two of our Top Secret computers. You got to stop Gary from being expelled!”
Mark: “Look Doug. I am just now learning the truth of what’s going on and Gary is a minute from getting on that aircraft homeward bound. I have no means of communication with Station as Banks is not in his office and it’s like 5 am here.
Mark: “Gary will have to leave as ordered. I am sorry, but you guys just ambushed me on this.”
DESCRIPTION: Mark concludes the call with Doug. Nods his head as if agreeing with Gary and at this point Gary asks for his knife back.
Gary: “Can I have my knife back, please?”
DESCRIPTION: Mark realizes that protocol would say “Oh Hell Naw!,” but Mark felt an injustice was being committed against Gary. So as a gesture of good will and to demonstrate faith in Gary, Mark pulls the knife from his cargo pocket and hands it back to Gary. Gary was visibly pleased and nods his head as a gesture of thanks, turns and walks briskly to the mobile stair to board the aircraft.
DESCRIPTION: Mark would be forced to stay at the flight line for another 2 days before travel back to Station could be arranged. Upon his return by helicopter he notices Joe is onboard. In sharp contrast, however, Joe is allowed the dignity of departing country with grace and has his sidearm with him.
BEAT SHEET TURNING POINT 1:
SLUG: INT–CIA Station (Mark’s work space outside DCOS/COM offices), Baghdad, Iraq–Day
–Mark returns to a short lived hero’s welcome by Banks, but Mark’s cable report will leave Banks speechless and in silence.
SLUG: INT–CIA Station (Mark’s workspace outside DCOS/COM offices), Baghdad, Iraq–Day
–Mark knows the outcome of his cable will yield negative favoritism with Station, in particular with Reilly, and insist with the home office that he return as he is tired of cleaning up HQ’s mess.
SLUG: EXT–CIA Station, Flight Line, Baghdad, Iraq–Night
–While boarding a helicopter for his return to the states, Mark bids farewell with the middle finger to Pedro, who facilitates environmental hostilities at Station as he got off the helicopter.
SLUG: EXT–CIA Station, Flight Line, Baghdad, Iraq–Night
–Reilly returns to Station to read Mark’s cable report that yields an immediate negative opinion of Mark.
ACT 1:
OUTLINE:
TURNING POINT 1:
BEGINNING: A hero’s welcome soon falls flat as Chief of Mission who is Acting Chief of Station is stunned into silence for his and the Chief of Security’s mishandling of the investigation and the revelation that child pornography by a repeat offender was overlooked.
MIDDLE: Mark decides it’s time to pop smoke. He has been the whipping boy for Station all because he is covering up his home office’s blunders. Mark demands on returning early from his tour as he is not going to give in to Station leadership’s undeserved ass chewing.
END: The real excitement will begin when the Deputy Chief of Station returns and his temper is anticipated to go nuclear, given he has already contributed to a hostile work environment against Mark. Now he seeks vengeance.
ACT 1:
TURNING POINT 1 SCENE:
SLUG: INT–CIA Station (Mark’s work space outside DCOS/COM offices), Baghdad, Iraq–Day
DESCRIPTION: Mark returns to Station and jumps on his computer to catch up on work and more importantly follow up with his office at Headquarters on the crisis at hand. Mark presumes after 2 days have passed since the incident that his home office, let alone the CIA flight line Security Chief at the airport, has addressed the situation with Station or that Station’s Chief of Security would have at least followed up with Headquarters in Washington. Before Mark can turn his computer on, Banks steps out of his office.
Banks: “Mark!….Job well done!” Banks slaps Mark on the back.
Mark: “Thank you!” Banks returns back to his office. Mark is left wondering out loud.. “I wonder if I should address the child porn?” …shrugs his shoulders … “Nah…they on top of it.”
DESCRIPTION: TE 7: One hour later Banks reappears from his office.
Banks: “Mark I want you write up a cable for Headquarters on the incident.”
DESCRIPTION: Banks walks back to his office without another word. Mark immediately starts working on the cable, but it’s not as easy of a task as COM thinks and proceeds to knock out a rough draft. Four hours later, Banks impatiently walks out of his office.
Banks: “Mark!…Where is that cable?
Mark: “Chief, I’ll send you what I have.”
DESCRIPTION: Banks walks back into his office and after reading the draft and final cable is not seen, nor heard from the remainder of the day.
INCITING INCIDENT: TP 1: Mark’s cable basically reflects Stations incompetence in handling the investigation and injustice of tossing a member of Station out of country for taking the correct action. The cable reveals that not only did Station not understand the facts when the decision was made to expel the staffer in question from the country, but that Station was in a rush to judgment. Evidence that was provided by the employee was dismissed. Furthermore, Mark’s home office at Headquarters and Office of Security were fully aware of the situation when Station and Mark–who is in charge of the Military Liaison Cells–were left completely out of the loop. Mark outlined what events really happened and the course of action he took to verify the information in the cable and while writing the cable, Mark reveals a major unexpected twist.
DESCRIPTION: While speaking to Station’s Chief of Communications (Dale) makes a surprising revelation that contractor (Joe) has a history of downloading pornography on Agency networks. Mark slaps that tidbit of information in the final cable as well and duplicates a copy of his cable and places it in his notes system as backup should Station try to alter his official report.
Chief of Communications (Dale): Is sitting at his desk and turns to Mark….“Hey…I saw Joe around Station this morning at the mess hall. … Did he fly in with you this morning?”
Mark: “Yeah.” Mark nods his head.
Dale: “It’s good to see him. … I’ve known him for 20 years. He’s a good guy. He’s a retired communications officer ya know. … Was he out there in Tikrit as part of your team?
Mark: “Yes,…he was the Cell Team Chief there.”
Dale: “He certainly is a chatterbox and seems all worked up about something. I’ve not seen him act this way since the time he downloaded pornog…” ….Dale pauses for a few seconds not completing his word…”Is that what this is about?”
Mark: Slowly nods his head in confirmation.
Dale: Astonished, he shakes his head negatively and slowly turns in his swivel chair back to his computer and says nothing further.
SLUG: INT–CIA Station (Mark’s workspace outside DCOS/COM offices), Baghdad, Iraq–Day
DESCRIPTION: Mark anticipates tempers will flare and hostilities against him will increasingly persist, once the Deputy Chief of Station returns back to Station. The DCOS is already pissed at Mark for an earlier report that Station and Headquarters were not adequately supporting the US conventional Warfighters on the ground as was the case in 1990, during Operation Desert Storm. The COS routinely referred to the 3rd Infantry Division commander as a jackass and refused to meet with the National Guard Division commander because the army could not spare a helicopter, in sharp contrast to the COS having a whole fleet at his disposal. Mark begins typing on his computer using Instant Messaging system to OMA Branch Chief (Doug).
Mark: “Doug… You there?”
Doug: “Yes.”
Mark: “The shits about to hit the fan here. Banks asked me to write my findings up and I had to be brutally honest in my report. I have not seen him all day and I sit outside his office. He must be shitting himself and it does not look good for me here.”
Doug: “I know….sorry.”
Mark: “When Reilly (DCOS) and the D’Angelo (COS) returns, you know they are going to hit the ceiling. It really did not help for HQ to keep Station out of the loop. They look like a Three Stooges operation now.”…..
….”and I have had it up to here with the hostile work environment and long hours I am having to put in to cover your all’s asses back there…. cuz they think I am screwing things up out here.”
“OMA’s keeps sending non experienced CIA personnel (contractors) with no training on our computer systems and software out to support the mission.”….
…”I had one idiot that did not know how to turn on a computer, much less know how to operate a CIA system… …I have to drop everything to spend 2 to 3 days to bring these guys up to speed and Pedro (that Cuban ass clown hates all women in authority or who make more $$$) sees what’s going and no doubt fueling hostilities with Reilly. ……I mean this is turning in to disorganized shit show out here.”…
…”and let us not forget the raving review from that report by the DCI representative about the CIA still not seriously supporting the US military out here. …I got the blame even though I was busy coordinating logistics for our 5 day trip between Division HQs that nearly resulted in a helicopter crash that I probably would get the blame for, as well.”
DESCRIPTION: Doug not wanting any further chain of evidence leading back to him as the CIA keeps records of all electronic data systems tells Mark to call him on the Green Line that is not monitored as much.
Doug: “Call me on the Green Line.”
Mark: “OK.” Mark picks up the Green Line secure phone and dials up Doug.
Doug: “Hi Mark?”
Mark: “Yes Doug its me…. I need to get the hell out of here. Between COS, DCOS, COM, Pedro and this new Colonel taking sides to be accepted by Station, I am catching a lot of flack.”
Doug: “What do you mean?”
Mark: “I am being excluded from Station meetings and between Pedro’s harassment and the Colonel who thinks that because I am an Army Reservist I have to answer to her…is bull shit…. She is trying to restrict my every move…. She cannot even keep her fucking pistol in the damn holster it keeps falling out…. Thank God she keeps it unloaded.”
Dough: Can be heard laughing on his end of the phone….
Mark: Being serious in tone…..“It all sounds funny, until you are on this end of being in the breach for issues outside my control and being fully blamed… I have covered for OMA far too long….. I told you guys I would come out here for a year…. It’s been 3 months and this child porn case is going to blow the lid off when Reilly gets here…. I am not going to deal with this shit any longer… With or without your help I am leaving Station on the next flight.”
Dough: Taking a more serious tone…”OK Mark I got ya….I have a Liaison officer coming out on a flight and should be there in two days. I will arrange for your return flight on that aircraft…..Hang tight and put a Transition Book together for the follow on guy.”
Mark: “OK will do.” Mark hangs the phone up.
SLUG: EXT–CIA Station, Flight Line, Baghdad, Iraq–Night
DESCRIPTION: Without a word from COM Banks who apparently refuses to speak, Mark waits the two days out, filing his voucher for 3 months pay and boards a helicopter to the airport to board the J-Lo flight back to Washington. Mark decides not to stick around and confront management as they are not willing to listen to him and he would feel the brunt of the storm of anger that would be released. As Mark is about to board the helicopter he sees Pedro disembarking and flips him the bird. Pedro is startled and immediately angered by the gesture.
SLUG: EXT–CIA Station (DCOS office), Baghdad, Iraq–Day
DESCRIPTION: COS D’Angelo and DCOS Reilly return to Station where Banks briefs his version of what transpired to Reilly. As predicted both eventually hit the ceiling, but Reilly was far worse and became so filled with the rage of anger and hate toward Mark that he was out for blood and demanded vengeance. Just as he felt following the 9/11 attacks, he became so filled with hate and rage that vengeance was all he wanted against the Taliban who harbored Asuma Bin Laden. That is why he looked the other way when the Northern Alliance left 3,000 prisoners of war to die in the desert sealed in train box cars.
Banks: “Hi…Welcome back for what it’s worth.” Not smiling, Bank holds a copy of Mark’s cable in an extended hand to pass to Reilly with a cup of coffee in the other.
Reilly: “What do you mean by that?” Reilly snaps the cable from Bank’s hand and accepts the coffee with the other which he sits on his desk.
Banks: “Your buddy Mark tossed us under the bus, once again. …Set us up. …. Then left town without a word.”
Reilly: “What?? … He Left?” Visibly surprised and face beginning to flush his Irish red heritage… Banks leaves to go back to his office.
DESCRIPTION: Reilly slowly sits down into his chair with eyes glued to the subject line of the 15 page cable to Headquarter: “BAGHDAD, IRAQ–TQW IMPULSIVE INVESTIGATION MISTAKENLY SANDBAGS WRONG OFFICER FROM COUNTRY WHO WAS ADMONISHING OTHER FOR CHILD PORNOGRAPHY.” Reilly, goes nuclear and Station personnel in the adjoining offices and bay area can hear him.
Reilly: “THAT GOD DAMN SON-OF-A-BITCH!!!! ….THAT GOD DAMN SON-OF-A-BITCH!!!!”
DESCRIPTION: The sound instantaneously follows of a ceramic coffee cup crashing and shattering against the wall. Reilly storms out of the office heading in toward the COS’ Office.SUBJECT: Mark Napier’s Finished ACT 1
What did I learn? I learned a good deal about 4 ACT structuring, formatting, beat sheets, scene setup, dialogue and outline combined, facilitates the orchestration of a finished product…albeit a draft. I intend to go back and relook at the beat sheet as I feel I was a little slow in grasping the concept.
BEAT SHEET OPENING SCENE:
SLUG: INT–CIA Station (COM office), Baghdad, Iraq–Night
–Mark finds himself on a midnight rendition operation to secure, disarm and escort an Agency employee for immediate expulsion from the country over an incident that later reveals a ‘Top Secret’ ironic twist.
ACT 1:
OPENING SCENE OUTLINE:
BEGINNING: Mark is astonished by Chief of Mission (who is filling in as Acting Chief of Station) is cursing and suddenly calls Mark and Station’s Chief of Security (Tom) into the Deputy Chief of Station’s office.
MIDDLE: COM orders Mark and Tom to board a helicopter for Tikrit, Iraq and take into custody one of Mark’s Military Liaison Cell team members and take him to the CIA airfield in Baghdad for immediate expulsion from country.
END: Mark and Tom depart the office without questioning the orders.
ACT 1:
SLUG: INT–CIA Station (COM office), Baghdad, Iraq–Night
OPENING SCENE: Chief of Mission (COM) Banks storms out of his office into the adjoining office of Deputy Chief of Station. The Chief of Station (COS) and Deputy Chief of Station (DCOS) are not in the country and are not expected to return for another week.
TE 1: Mark is working at his computer and looks up when he abruptly hears COM make an astonishing remark…“I am going to throw that son-of-a-bitch in prison!”
DESCRIPTION: COM calls out to Mark and Tom, the Station’s Chief of Security, to come into the DCOS’ office. Both arrive and remain standing in Bank’s presence.
TE 2: Banks says…”I have a mission for you both and it involves two of Mark’s team members up range in Tikrit.
TE 3: Banks:…“I just got a call from the Cell Leader…Joe…that he had a heated argument with Gary who is the Communications Officer there. Gary threatened Joe with a knife that Gary threw at him.”
TE4: Banks: “ I want you guys to report to the flight line and board a helicopter. I’ve already arranged the helo and it will be here in 30 minutes. Time now is 1230 AM. Be at the flight line by 1 AM. Your mission is to secure, escort and expel Gary from country. IMMEDIATELY!…No ifs, ands, or buts about it!…. GO!”
DESCRIPTION: Mark and Tom glance at each other and immediately depart the office without a word to grab their survival gear and report to the flight line.
ACT 1:
BEAT SHEET INCITING INCIDENT:
SLUG: EXT–CIA Flight Line, Baghdad, Iraq–Night
–Mark and Station’s Chief of Security board helicopter for Tikrit, Iraq.
SLUG: EXT–CIA Military Liaison Cell Flight Line, Tikrit, Iraq–Night
–Mark apprehends the person of interest without incident, but their plea for help is summarily dismissed by the Station’s Chief of Security.
SLUG: EXT–CIA Flight Line Baghdad, Iraq–Night
–Gary reveals to Mark the truth of what the altercation was about and makes a plea for Mark to call Headquarters to confirm his story.
OUTLINE:
INCITING INCIDENT:
BEGINNING: Mark and Station’s Chief of Security (Tom) arrive in Tikrit, Iraq to take Gary back for deportation from country. Gary pleads for Tom to read his supporting evidence, but is ignored.
MIDDLE: Mark takes custody of Gary at the flight line to ensure his departure. Mark notices the flight line Security Chief’s facial reaction to Gary’s pleas for help.
END: Gary reveals the secret of what transpired between him and Joe and that child pornography was involved. He was merely admonishing Joe for his illegal activity and did not use a knife to attack Joe as he had claimed..
ACT 1:
INCITING INCIDENT:
SLUG: EXT–CIA Flight Line, Baghdad, Iraq–Night
DESCRIPTION: In the dark of night Mark and Tom are wearing helmets and gear as they sit strapped into their seats and deep into their own thoughts. Mark has known the Station Chief of Security from 12 years since when both were assigned to the Security Duty Office and Operations Center at the time of the 1993 CIA Headquarters shooting incident perpetrated by Mir Aimal Kansi.
SLUG: EXT–CIA Military Liaison Cell Flight Line, Tikrit, Iraq–Night
DESCRIPTION: Mark and Chief of Security disembark the helicopter that remains on standby and both walk to the building that houses Mark’s team. Mark enters the office and finds Gary with his duffle bag at his feet already prepared for their arrival as if he knew what was coming. Tom bravely takes a position behind Mark using him as a human shield, if something were to go wrong that Gary did not wish to be disarmed.
TE 5: Mark says with sympathy…”Hi Gary! You no doubt know why we are here. ” Gary nods his head yes.
Mark says:…“I am sorry, but I am going to have to ask you for your side arm. Gary says..”Yeah, no problem!” Gary hands over his Glock 9mm with magazines to Mark.
Tom comments sourly:…”And the knife too.” Gary complies and hands Mark the knife that has about a 6 inch bell shaped blade to it.
Mark says:…”OK…Well let’s go. We have a helicopter outside waiting.”
Gary says:.. “But wait!
DESCRIPTION: Gary extends a handful of documents out to the Chief of Security.
Gary says:…”Can’t you read this first?” Please???
DESCRIPTION: Tom nods his head to say no and makes no effort to take possession of the documents.
Chief of Security says:…”No. Let’s go!”
SLUG: EXT–CIA Flight Line Baghdad, Iraq–Night
DESCRIPTION: After a 45 minute flight, Mark disembarks the helicopter with Gary to ensure he is on the outbound flight for Washington, DC. Tom decides he will go back to Station. Mark and Gary stay on the flight line awaiting the CIA’s ‘J-Lo flight’ to arrive. Gary is starting to stress out and begins to feel ostracized for doing what he thought was right. The flight line Security Chief arrives soon after to meet them and knows only what the Station Chief of Security has told her.
DESCRIPTION: Sally (CIA flight line Security Chief): Struts up to Mark and Gary and introduces herself.
Sally: “Hi!…Early good morning to you both. Which one is Gary?” Gary raises his hand and moves closer to her.
Sally: “I have a container here so you can place your belongings in. Is there anything else I can help you with?”
Gary asks Sally and Mark: “I cannot believe what’s going on here. Why am I being treated this way? Why is Joe not being kicked out as well? I mean I did nothing wrong!”
DESCRIPTION: Sally who is standing closer to Gary winces in surprise when Gary leans forward to tell her something, but Mark cannot hear what was said as an aircraft was landing.
Sally: “Would you like me to arrange for you to speak with a psychiatrist in Jordan during your layover? I can tell you are visibly stressed about the ordeal.”
Gary: “Yes…..Yes I think I need to.” Sally then wishes Mark goodbye and for Gary to have a safe trip and departs.
Gary then addresses Mark: “Look can you do me a big favor and read this material I tried to give to the Station Chief of Security? ….Please?
DESCRIPTION: Gary extends about 20 pages of handwritten notes to Mark who accepts it and briefly scans through it. At this point, the aircraft that landed as Gary was speaking to Sally happened to be the CIA’s J-Lo flight and being refueled.
Gary: “Please call OMA in Washington. “They will tell you what is going on.?”
TE 6: Gary: “This incident is about Joe downloading child pornography onto two CIA Top Secret computers… Mark winces in surprise.
Gary: “ Joe’s wife is from Thailand and you know what it’s like with those folks. They could be 18 years old but look like a 8 year old. I am a grandfather and when I saw that shit I was so pissed I chewed his ass. I told him I was going to kick his ass.”
Gary: “Then Joe said…’You got a knife!’…so I pulled the knife from my pocket and tossed it on the couch and told him I am ready to kick his fat ass! That is when the fat bastard ran to the phone to call Banks.”
Mark: “You never laid a hand on him or threw the knife at him?”
Gary: “Hell no!”
BEAT SHEET PROTAGONIST REACTS EMOTIONALLY TO INCITING INCIDENT:
SLUG: INT–CIA Flight Line (Security Office), Baghdad, Iraq–Night
–Mark confirms with CIA Headquarters the irony of the turn of events and though he cannot change the outcome of Gary’s expulsion, Mark tries to restore Gary’s faith in his innocence.
OUTLINE:
PROTAGONIST REACTS EMOTIONALLY TO INCITING INCIDENT:
BEGINNING: After Gary reveals his secret, Mark contacts CIA Headquarters’ home office who confirms that child pornography was downloaded onto two Agency Top Secret computers.
MIDDLE: HQs asks Mark to stop the expulsion, but its too late as Gary has just minutes to go.
END: As a gesture of good will and faith in restoring some dignity to Gary that lost over the ordeal, Mark hands back Gary’s knife demonstrating trust and belief in him. However, two days later Mark notices, in sharp contrast, how Joe is permitted to leave country with dignity.
ACT 1:
PROTAGONIST REACTS EMOTIONALLY TO THE INCITING INCIDENT:
SLUG: INT–CIA Flight Line (Security Office), Baghdad, Iraq–Night
DESCRIPTION: Mark and Gary quickly step over to the security office and make a secure line call back to our home office. Our Branch Chief (Doug) answers the phone.
Doug: “Office of Military Affairs Exercise and Contingency Office. How may I help you?”
Mark: “Doug this is Mark. I am standing on the flight line here in Baghdad just minutes away from tossing Gary out of country.”
Doug: “Mark, do you know what this is about?”
Mark: “Evidently not, since Station and I have been kept completely out of the loop on this.”
Doug: “This is about Joe downloading child pornography onto two of our Top Secret computers. You got to stop Gary from being expelled!”
Mark: “Look Doug. I am just now learning the truth of what’s going on and Gary is a minute from getting on that aircraft homeward bound. I have no means of communication with Station as Banks is not in his office and it’s like 5 am here.
Mark: “Gary will have to leave as ordered. I am sorry, but you guys just ambushed me on this.”
DESCRIPTION: Mark concludes the call with Doug. Nods his head as if agreeing with Gary and at this point Gary asks for his knife back.
Gary: “Can I have my knife back, please?”
DESCRIPTION: Mark realizes that protocol would say “Oh Hell Naw!,” but Mark felt an injustice was being committed against Gary. So as a gesture of good will and to demonstrate faith in Gary, Mark pulls the knife from his cargo pocket and hands it back to Gary. Gary was visibly pleased and nods his head as a gesture of thanks, turns and walks briskly to the mobile stair to board the aircraft.
DESCRIPTION: Mark would be forced to stay at the flight line for another 2 days before travel back to Station could be arranged. Upon his return by helicopter he notices Joe is onboard. In sharp contrast, however, Joe is allowed the dignity of departing country with grace and has his sidearm with him.
BEAT SHEET TURNING POINT 1:
SLUG: INT–CIA Station (Mark’s work space outside DCOS/COM offices), Baghdad, Iraq–Day
–Mark returns to a short lived hero’s welcome by Banks, but Mark’s cable report will leave Banks speechless and in silence.
SLUG: INT–CIA Station (Mark’s workspace outside DCOS/COM offices), Baghdad, Iraq–Day
–Mark knows the outcome of his cable will yield negative favoritism with Station, in particular with Reilly, and insist with the home office that he return as he is tired of cleaning up HQ’s mess.
SLUG: EXT–CIA Station, Flight Line, Baghdad, Iraq–Night
–While boarding a helicopter for his return to the states, Mark bids farewell with the middle finger to Pedro, who facilitates environmental hostilities at Station as he got off the helicopter.
SLUG: EXT–CIA Station, Flight Line, Baghdad, Iraq–Night
–Reilly returns to Station to read Mark’s cable report that yields an immediate negative opinion of Mark.
ACT 1:
OUTLINE:
TURNING POINT 1:
BEGINNING: A hero’s welcome soon falls flat as Chief of Mission who is Acting Chief of Station is stunned into silence for his and the Chief of Security’s mishandling of the investigation and the revelation that child pornography by a repeat offender was overlooked.
MIDDLE: Mark decides it’s time to pop smoke. He has been the whipping boy for Station all because he is covering up his home office’s blunders. Mark demands on returning early from his tour as he is not going to give in to Station leadership’s undeserved ass chewing.
END: The real excitement will begin when the Deputy Chief of Station returns and his temper is anticipated to go nuclear, given he has already contributed to a hostile work environment against Mark. Now he seeks vengeance.
ACT 1:
TURNING POINT 1 SCENE:
SLUG: INT–CIA Station (Mark’s work space outside DCOS/COM offices), Baghdad, Iraq–Day
DESCRIPTION: Mark returns to Station and jumps on his computer to catch up on work and more importantly follow up with his office at Headquarters on the crisis at hand. Mark presumes after 2 days have passed since the incident that his home office, let alone the CIA flight line Security Chief at the airport, has addressed the situation with Station or that Station’s Chief of Security would have at least followed up with Headquarters in Washington. Before Mark can turn his computer on, Banks steps out of his office.
Banks: “Mark!….Job well done!” Banks slaps Mark on the back.
Mark: “Thank you!” Banks returns back to his office. Mark is left wondering out loud.. “I wonder if I should address the child porn?” …shrugs his shoulders … “Nah…they on top of it.”
DESCRIPTION: TE 7: One hour later Banks reappears from his office.
Banks: “Mark I want you write up a cable for Headquarters on the incident.”
DESCRIPTION: Banks walks back to his office without another word. Mark immediately starts working on the cable, but it’s not as easy of a task as COM thinks and proceeds to knock out a rough draft. Four hours later, Banks impatiently walks out of his office.
Banks: “Mark!…Where is that cable?
Mark: “Chief, I’ll send you what I have.”
DESCRIPTION: Banks walks back into his office and after reading the draft and final cable is not seen, nor heard from the remainder of the day.
INCITING INCIDENT: TP 1: Mark’s cable basically reflects Stations incompetence in handling the investigation and injustice of tossing a member of Station out of country for taking the correct action. The cable reveals that not only did Station not understand the facts when the decision was made to expel the staffer in question from the country, but that Station was in a rush to judgment. Evidence that was provided by the employee was dismissed. Furthermore, Mark’s home office at Headquarters and Office of Security were fully aware of the situation when Station and Mark–who is in charge of the Military Liaison Cells–were left completely out of the loop. Mark outlined what events really happened and the course of action he took to verify the information in the cable and while writing the cable, Mark reveals a major unexpected twist.
DESCRIPTION: While speaking to Station’s Chief of Communications (Dale) makes a surprising revelation that contractor (Joe) has a history of downloading pornography on Agency networks. Mark slaps that tidbit of information in the final cable as well and duplicates a copy of his cable and places it in his notes system as backup should Station try to alter his official report.
Chief of Communications (Dale): Is sitting at his desk and turns to Mark….“Hey…I saw Joe around Station this morning at the mess hall. … Did he fly in with you this morning?”
Mark: “Yeah.” Mark nods his head.
Dale: “It’s good to see him. … I’ve known him for 20 years. He’s a good guy. He’s a retired communications officer ya know. … Was he out there in Tikrit as part of your team?
Mark: “Yes,…he was the Cell Team Chief there.”
Dale: “He certainly is a chatterbox and seems all worked up about something. I’ve not seen him act this way since the time he downloaded pornog…” ….Dale pauses for a few seconds not completing his word…”Is that what this is about?”
Mark: Slowly nods his head in confirmation.
Dale: Astonished, he shakes his head negatively and slowly turns in his swivel chair back to his computer and says nothing further.
SLUG: INT–CIA Station (Mark’s workspace outside DCOS/COM offices), Baghdad, Iraq–Day
DESCRIPTION: Mark anticipates tempers will flare and hostilities against him will increasingly persist, once the Deputy Chief of Station returns back to Station. The DCOS is already pissed at Mark for an earlier report that Station and Headquarters were not adequately supporting the US conventional Warfighters on the ground as was the case in 1990, during Operation Desert Storm. The COS routinely referred to the 3rd Infantry Division commander as a jackass and refused to meet with the National Guard Division commander because the army could not spare a helicopter, in sharp contrast to the COS having a whole fleet at his disposal. Mark begins typing on his computer using Instant Messaging system to OMA Branch Chief (Doug).
Mark: “Doug… You there?”
Doug: “Yes.”
Mark: “The shits about to hit the fan here. Banks asked me to write my findings up and I had to be brutally honest in my report. I have not seen him all day and I sit outside his office. He must be shitting himself and it does not look good for me here.”
Doug: “I know….sorry.”
Mark: “When Reilly (DCOS) and the D’Angelo (COS) returns, you know they are going to hit the ceiling. It really did not help for HQ to keep Station out of the loop. They look like a Three Stooges operation now.”…..
….”and I have had it up to here with the hostile work environment and long hours I am having to put in to cover your all’s asses back there…. cuz they think I am screwing things up out here.”
“OMA’s keeps sending non experienced CIA personnel (contractors) with no training on our computer systems and software out to support the mission.”….
…”I had one idiot that did not know how to turn on a computer, much less know how to operate a CIA system… …I have to drop everything to spend 2 to 3 days to bring these guys up to speed and Pedro (that Cuban ass clown hates all women in authority or who make more $$$) sees what’s going and no doubt fueling hostilities with Reilly. ……I mean this is turning in to disorganized shit show out here.”…
…”and let us not forget the raving review from that report by the DCI representative about the CIA still not seriously supporting the US military out here. …I got the blame even though I was busy coordinating logistics for our 5 day trip between Division HQs that nearly resulted in a helicopter crash that I probably would get the blame for, as well.”
DESCRIPTION: Doug not wanting any further chain of evidence leading back to him as the CIA keeps records of all electronic data systems tells Mark to call him on the Green Line that is not monitored as much.
Doug: “Call me on the Green Line.”
Mark: “OK.” Mark picks up the Green Line secure phone and dials up Doug.
Doug: “Hi Mark?”
Mark: “Yes Doug its me…. I need to get the hell out of here. Between COS, DCOS, COM, Pedro and this new Colonel taking sides to be accepted by Station, I am catching a lot of flack.”
Doug: “What do you mean?”
Mark: “I am being excluded from Station meetings and between Pedro’s harassment and the Colonel who thinks that because I am an Army Reservist I have to answer to her…is bull shit…. She is trying to restrict my every move…. She cannot even keep her fucking pistol in the damn holster it keeps falling out…. Thank God she keeps it unloaded.”
Dough: Can be heard laughing on his end of the phone….
Mark: Being serious in tone…..“It all sounds funny, until you are on this end of being in the breach for issues outside my control and being fully blamed… I have covered for OMA far too long….. I told you guys I would come out here for a year…. It’s been 3 months and this child porn case is going to blow the lid off when Reilly gets here…. I am not going to deal with this shit any longer… With or without your help I am leaving Station on the next flight.”
Dough: Taking a more serious tone…”OK Mark I got ya….I have a Liaison officer coming out on a flight and should be there in two days. I will arrange for your return flight on that aircraft…..Hang tight and put a Transition Book together for the follow on guy.”
Mark: “OK will do.” Mark hangs the phone up.
SLUG: EXT–CIA Station, Flight Line, Baghdad, Iraq–Night
DESCRIPTION: Without a word from COM Banks who apparently refuses to speak, Mark waits the two days out, filing his voucher for 3 months pay and boards a helicopter to the airport to board the J-Lo flight back to Washington. Mark decides not to stick around and confront management as they are not willing to listen to him and he would feel the brunt of the storm of anger that would be released. Before Mark leaves, he puts his pay voucher cable together and has the Station’s key personnel (Chief of Finance, Chief of Human Resource and COS’ Secretary) present to confirm what he is doing is correct and they all concur. As Mark is about to board the helicopter he sees Pedro disembarking and flips him the bird. Pedro is startled and immediately angered by the gesture.
SLUG: EXT–CIA Station (DCOS office), Baghdad, Iraq–Day
DESCRIPTION: COS D’Angelo and DCOS Reilly return to Station where Banks briefs his version of what transpired to Reilly. As predicted both eventually hit the ceiling, but Reilly was far worse and became so filled with the rage of anger and hate toward Mark that he was out for blood and demanded vengeance. Just as he felt following the 9/11 attacks, he became so filled with hate and rage that vengeance was all he wanted against the Taliban who harbored Asuma Bin Laden. That is why he looked the other way when the Northern Alliance left 3,000 prisoners of war to die in the desert sealed in train box cars.
Banks: “Hi…Welcome back for what it’s worth.” Not smiling, Bank holds a copy of Mark’s cable in an extended hand to pass to Reilly with a cup of coffee in the other.
Reilly: “What do you mean by that?” Reilly snaps the cable from Bank’s hand and accepts the coffee with the other which he sits on his desk.
Banks: “Your buddy Mark tossed us under the bus, once again. …Set us up. …. Then left town without a word.”
Reilly: “What?? … He Left?” Visibly surprised and face beginning to flush his Irish red heritage… Banks leaves to go back to his office.
DESCRIPTION: Reilly slowly sits down into his chair with eyes glued to the subject line of the 15 page cable to Headquarter: “BAGHDAD, IRAQ–TQW IMPULSIVE INVESTIGATION MISTAKENLY SANDBAGS WRONG OFFICER FROM COUNTRY WHO WAS ADMONISHING OTHER FOR CHILD PORNOGRAPHY.” Reilly, goes nuclear and Station personnel in the adjoining offices and bay area can hear him.
Reilly: “THAT GOD DAMN SON-OF-A-BITCH!!!! ….THAT GOD DAMN SON-OF-A-BITCH!!!!”
DESCRIPTION: The sound instantaneously follows of a ceramic coffee cup crashing and shattering against the wall. Reilly storms out of the office heading in toward the COS’ Office.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by Mark napier.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by Mark napier.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by Mark napier.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by Mark napier.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by
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Caitlin Stryker’s act 1 draft 1: what I learned doing this assignment was that my act 1 as it is now is a little light. I need some more in there but I’ve learned to just plow through even an uninspired writing session and get words on the page–it can and will be re-worked later.
HARRIET
INT. CHILD’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Carla, late 30s, is laying in bed next to her young son, Sam 8 years old, she is reading aloud “Where the Wild Things Are”.
CARLA
And the wild rompous went boom bang boom boom (insert actual line from near the end of the book here.)
SAM
Mom?
CARLA
(Keeps reading a little more not hearing Sam) —
SAM
Mom?
CARLA
What honey?
SAM
Are the monsters real? Are they gonna eat him up?
CARLA
No. No, of course not. It’s all in his imagination, for fun you know?
SAM
Yeah, but they seem so real.
CARLA
Do they?
SAM
Well it’d be more fun if they were real.
CARLA
I think it’d be scary if they were real. They might actually eat him up!
SAM
No they wouldn’t. He’s their King.
CARLA
I love you. It’s time for lights out buddy.
SAM
No! I want another story.
CARLA
I have to get to bed too pal. I’m exhausted. Come on now. We can read more in the morning before school.
SAM
It’s not the same. I don’t want to read in the morning.
CARLA
Goodnight. I love you!
Carla kisses Sam and turns out the light. Sam rolls over to fall asleep and Carla tip toes out of the room. Halfway across the floor she steps on a lego and let’s out a yell.
CARLA (CONT’D)
OW! Fuck! Goddammit.
SAM
Mom! You said a bad word.
CARLA
You have to clean this room in the morning!
SAM
No. Dad and I are in the middle of a battle.
CARLA
Goodnight.
Carla closes the door leaving it slightly ajar. “Why me,” tears spring to her eyes. She takes a deep breath and goes about shutting down the messy house for the night, before crawling into bed.
INT. CARLA’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Carla climbs into bed and calls her husbnad Mark on facetime on her phone.
MARK
Hi. How are you?
CARLA
Tired.
MARK
Good thing you’re in bed.
CARLA
Yeah. How was your day? Did you make the sale?
MARK
I can’t tell with these guys. It’s so frustrating. I’m ready to come home.
CARLA
I’m so glad you’re coming home tomorrow. I miss you. I never sleep as well when you’re not here.
MARK
I have an idea to help you fall asleep…
CARLA
Mark! No. I’ve told you that is never happening. They can see everything through these cameras, everything ever seen through the lense is out there somewhere.
MARK
You are being so paranoid. That is not true. (beat) What about old fashioned phone sex then? No cameras involved.
CARLA
I’m sorry babe I just don’t feel sexy. I got not one but two rejection letters today. So I’m stuck in an I’m worthless and nobody wants me loop.
MARK
Well, I want you… (then) Just keep going. SOmething will stick.
CARLA
Yeah.
MARK
Night.
CARLA
Night.
INT. CARLA’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Carla lays in bed eyes open in the dark as tears silently stream from her eyes.
CARLA
I’m so worthless.
A curtain bellows by the window. Carla sits up and looks at it. She stares. Gets out of bed to check that the window is closed. It is. That was weird. Carla climbs back into bed and pulls the covers up over her head and rolls over closing her eyes to go to sleep.
HARRIET
(VO) Girl you’ve got to get your shit together.
INT. CARLA’S BEDROOM – MORNING
Carla’s eyes open and she lays there for a moment. She grabs her phone to check the time. Of course there are no messages.
CARLA
Oh shit. We slept in. SAM!
Carla gets up and her and Sam collide in the hallway.
SAM
Mom.
CARLA
Hey buddy. You slept in. You never sleep in.
SAM
Yesh. That was weird.
CARLA
Okay well, we gotta hustle if we;re gonna make it to school on time. Brush your teeth adn get dressed! I’m gonna get some coffee and make breakfast!
Sam heads to the bathroom and Carla heads to the kitchen.
SAM
Can we have pancakes?
CARLA
No! We’re late! Pancakes are for weekends.
INT. KITCHEN – MORNING
CArla bustles about the kitchen still in her pajamas and robe, making Sam’s lunch and breakfast. Talkning to herself.
CARLA
I can’t believe he slept in. Of course he slept in, it’s a school day. Can’t sleep in on the weekends that would be to perfect.
Carla pulls out the coffee tin to discover that there is no coffee.
CARLA (CONT’D)
Great! No coffee. Ha ha. It’s gonna be one of those days. Come on. Get it together Carla. It doesn’t have to be one of those days. We can turn this day around yes ma’am. The day is not shot yet.
Sam enters having brushed his teeth but still in his pajamas.
SAM
Who are you talking to?
CARLA
Nobody. Why aren’t you dressed?
Sam just looks at her.
CARLA (CONT’D)
Dude? Go get dressed!
Sam leaves to go get dressed.
CARLA (CONT’D)
We have to leave this house in t-minus 2 minutes.
Sam yells from the other room.
SAM
But I haven’t had breakfast!
CARLA
You can eat a piece of toast while we walk!
EXT. ELEMENTARY SCHOOL – MORNING
Carla says goodbye to Sam for the day out front of his school. It’s your typical morning drop off scene with parents and kids all hustling to and fro. There’s the line up of cars and the school bus, kids on bikes, scooters and skateboards. It’s a cool eclectic crowd–this is Venice.
CARLA
Have a great day buddy. I love you.
SAM
Bye mom.
As Carla waves goodbye to Sam a bird shits on her shoulder
CARLA
What the… Oh my… You have got to be kidding me!
Alice, Marisca and Kumiko three super cool intimidating moms with kids in Sam’s class are standing right there chatting. Kumiko hands Carla a wet wipe from her purse.
KUMIKO
Oh my gosh. Are you okay. Here.
CARLA
Thanks. One of those mornings.
KUMIKO
A lucky one! That’s what they say right?
MARISCA
I swear they just say that to make you feel better for being shat on.
ALICE
No. No, Kumiko’s right it’s like an odds thing.
Kumiko, Marisca and Alice carry on their banter amongst themselves. Carla waves and starts to walk off.
CARLA
Thanks again.
KUMIKO
Wait you’re Sam’s mom right?
Carla stops walking.
CARLA
Yeah.
KUMIKO
My little guy, Yuto, talks about Sam all the time. He wants him to come to his birthday party next week, but I didn’t have your number to send the invite.
CARLA
Oh, Sam would love that.
KUMIKO
Tell me your number and I’ll text you.
CARLA
Sure, it’s Carla (310)555-2345.
KUMIKO
Great! Enjoy your lucky day Carla.
EXT. BLUE BOTTLE COFFEE ON ABBOTT KINNEY – DAY
Carla walks out with her coffee in one hand while looking at a text from Mark in her other hand. Text says: “They added another meeting be home tomorrow instead. Keep your head up.” And Carla walks right into Harriet.
CARLA
Oh my god I’m so sorry.
HARRIET
It’s okay. You didn’t spill any coffee on my new shirt.
CARLA
Oh my god–Harriet? Is that you?
HARRIET
Carla! You have got to be kidding me this must be fate!
CARLA
What are you doing here? How are you?
HARRIET
I just moved back to town. I didn’t know you still lived here? I thought it was always your dream to live in New York and be a writer when you grew up?
CARLA
Uh yeah when I was 13. But, you know, life happens and honestly why leave Venice? It’s perfect: beach, sunshine, vagrants!
HARRIET
Yeah… this is a special place.
CARLA
You look amazing by the way. Like, so fucking… cool.
HARRIET
You’re still the nicest person on the planet huh.
CARLA
Oh god. Please don’t say that. I hate when people say that. It makes me feel so pathetic.
HARRIET
Shut up. How can you let a compliment make you feel pathetic?
CARLA
Nice means boring.
HARRIET
Do you think you;re boring?
CARLA
Yes.
HARRIET
Well shit girl that’s no way to live. You only get one go at this life what’s the point of being boring?
CARLA
Still the same Harriet.
HARRIET
Damn straight. (beat) Listen, I gotta get going but, what are you up to later?
CARLA
Uh nothing exciting.
HARRIET
Right, cuz you’re boring.
CARLA
Hey!
HARRIET
You said it. Not me.
CARLA
Fair point.
HARRIET
You should come out tonight. We can properly catch up. You look like someone who needs to go dancing.
CARLA
Oh I’d love to but I can’t.
HARRIET
Why not?
CARLA
My husband’s away, I don’t know if I can get a sitter, it’s a school night.
HARRIET
Well, if you can figure all that out. Meet me at The Brig tonight at 10.
CARLA
10! That’s my bedtime!
HARRIET
Sounds sensible.
CARLA
Ha! It is and I like it that way.
HARRIET
Do you?
Harriet starts to walk away and turns back to Carla.
HARRIET (CONT’D)
10. The Brig. Dress fun. It’ll be good for you.
CARLA
Okay. I’ll try.
HARRIET
Make it happen girl!
EXT. ABBOTT KINNEY SIDEWALK – MORNING
Carla walks along towards home, talking to herself.
CARLA
I can’t believe Harriet’s back! And she looks so good, so cool. Gawd I look like such a schlub. Oh my gosh. What am I doing? What is wrong with me? I’m in my pajamas at drop off and the other moms look so cool. And then Harriet turns up and she looks so cool. How does everyone else have their shit together but me? Instead of having my shit together, I have shit literally on me! Did I say yes to going out out tonight? WHo am I? How am I planning to leave the house on a school night when Mark’s away? And now I’m walking down the street talking to myself. I am losing my mind. This is it. This is it, the end of the line for Carla Jenkins folks.
Carla’s phone rings. It’s Mark. SHe picks up.
CARLA (CONT’D)
Hi honey.
MARK
Hey babe.
CARLA
Thank goodness you called I was literally just walking down the street talkngin to myself like a crazy person.
MARK
Uh oh. Hang in there. I’m almost home.
CARLA
I know, but one more day huh? That sucks.
MARK
I know babe. I’m sorry. Couldn’t be helped.
CARLA
Yeah, I know. (then) Hey guess who I just bumped into?
MARK
Who?
CARLA
Harriet!
MARK
Who’s Harriet?
CARLA
She’s my old best friend from middle school. I can’t believe it. She’s back in town. Actually she invited me out tonight.
MARK
On a Tuesday?
CARLA
Yeah. She’s so cool. Always has been. She’s honestly like who I wish I was. Her clothes, her hair, she’s like always had swagger.
MARK
Are you gonna go?
CARLA
How am I suppposed to go? You’re not here. Who’s gonna watch Sam?
MARK
Good point. (then) Well maybe you gals could go out this weekend when I’m back, like normal people on a Friday.
CARLA
Yeah we’ll see. Oh crap I didn’t get her number!
MARK
How were you planning on meeting up tonight?
CARLA
SHe just said: The Brig at 10. Be there. Like I said she’s the coolest person I’ve ever known. I knew it in middle school.
MARK
Huh. I guess hopefully you bump into her again. Or you could try finding her on socials.
CARLA
Findinf her on socials? Look at you Sherlock Holmes. That’s a good idea.
MARK
Babe, I gotta go. My next meeting starts in 5 minutes. But you sound good, better than last night, I’m glad.
CARLA
Yeah. It’s been a morning.
MARK
Love you.
CARLA
Love you too.
EXT. CARLA’S HOUSE – DAY
Carla has walked all the way home while talking on the phone to Mark. SHe hangs up and heads inside.
INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY
Carla looks around at the chaotic mess of a lived in family apartment that was sprinted out of on a “running late morning”. She catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror looking drab and dishevelled.
CARLA
Why is everyhting always a mess? Clean up, mess, clean up, mess, clean up, mess. Just a neverending hamster wheel of domestic shit.
Her phone dings and she sees a message email with another job rejection.
CARLA (CONT’D)
Argh! This is so infuriating! I’m just wasting my time.
Carla flips on music to try and cheer herself up while she cleans up. The song “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” comes on and she dances around while cleaning.
CARLA (CONT’D)
“Girls Just wanna, they just wanna ah ah…”
She stops dancing and has a thought.
CARLA (CONT’D)
I should go out tonight. WHy not? How do I even get a sitter though?
Carla’s phone dings with a message from Kumiko.
KUMIKO
(via text) Hi!!! Hope you’re having the lucky day you deserve! Here’s the invite for Yuto’s party. Hope you guys can make it.
Carla texts her back.
CARLA
(via text) Thanks! It has been an interesting day… Sam will be thrilled to come to the party! Do you have any sitter recommendations btw?
KUMIKO
Yay! Sitter recos: yes! I have the best college gal, Sarah, she’s great with the kids. Here’s her contact. I’ll tell her to expect to hear from you.
CARLA
Thank you!
KUMIKO
Date night?
CARLA
What?
KUMIKO
Are you having a date night? It’s none of my nusiness really but I’m jealous if you are. I’ve been trying to get the schedule to work out for a date night for ages!
CARLA
Oh ha! No, a girl’s night actually. I ran into an old friend this morning.
KUMIKO
How fun?! You’re so cool going out on a Tuesday! Sorry I’m so nosy.
CARLA
Not at all. Thanks for the sitter reco.
KUMIKO
You got it!
Carla’s phone rings. It’s Kumiko.
CARLA
Hello?
KUMIKO
Hi. Sorry. I was going to text you and it was becoming a novel so I thought–just call the woman!
CARLA
I get that!
KUMIKO
We need some more volunteers for next week’s book fair at the school and I was wondering if you would be available?
CARLA
Umm…
KUMIKO
I know. I’m totally putting you on the spot by just calling but we’re desperate.
CARLA
I can’t. I’m sorry. I’m so busy with work these days.
KUMIKO
Oh darn. Okay. Have a great night out tonight!
INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY
Carla texts the sitter while talking to herself.
CARLA
Hey college girl can you come watch my kid tonight so I can go out and grasp at my youth? (actual text: Hi this is Carla, Kumiko recommended you, I need a last minute sitter tonight 10pm to midnight?) Two hours is plenty of time right? This is not good. I don’t even know how long going out time is anymore? Two hours is good. I can’t be out late. I’ve got nothing to do but send out resumes and get rejected tomorrow–gotta be rested for that! I should’ve said yes to volunteering. That was rude of me. And now I’m asking for a favor, I already did ask for a favor from Kumiko and then she asked me for one and I lied! I’m the worst person on the planet. I do not deserve to go out tonight.
Carla’s phone dings.
SARAH SITTER
Sure!
INT. CARLA’S BEDROOM – AFTERNOON
Carla has her whole closet out on the bed. She has been trying on outfits in an attempt to look hip. Outfit try on montage.
An outfit that is so basic and beige.
An outfit that does not fit well at all.
An outfit that makes her look like Sporty Spice.
(scene were Sam sees his mom dressed up for the night out and tells her she looks really cool. Like a music video lady.
Turning Point Scene
EXT. NIGHT CLUB ON ABBOTT KINNEY – NIGHT
Carla walks up to the club and realizes there is quite the line to get in. SHe walks down to the end of the line past super cool looking 20yr olds. Nervous she stands in line alone. Carla looks at her phone wishing she had gotten Harriet’s number.
CARLA
What am I doing? I don’t even know if she’s here.
Carla overhears a convo between two 22 year old girls in line ahead of her.
YOUNG GIRL #1
Oh my god like when did senior citizens start coming here?
YOUNG GIRL #2
Shh… dude she can like totally hear you don’t be so rude.
YOUNG GIRL #1
Whatever. I told Charlie this place was lame now, but he insisted we come here.
YOUNG GIRL #2
Well we can leave after one drink.
Carla is ready to turn around and go home when Harriet pops out of the club and screams.
HARRIET
Carla!!! Get your ass up here girl! WHat are you doing waiting in line?
Carla startled looks at Harriet like she is making a scene.
HARRIET (CONT’D)
Come on in! Ron is the coolest, he knows you’re with me.
Bouncer Ron sits there collecting IDs as people walk in to the club. He has a nice rappour with folks and isn’t phased by Harriet.
HARRIET (CONT’D)
Ooh that’s my jam!! Meet me on the dancefloor let’s go!
Carla looks around embarrassed by the scene that Harriet just made but everyone around her is absorbed in their phones. No one noticed or cared. Carla tentatively walks up to Bouncer Ron.
CARLA
Hi.
BOUNCER RON
Hello young lady.
CARLA
Umm… I know there’s a long line, but my friend is in there, Harriet, and she told me to just come up and talk to you to get in?
BOUNCER RON
Harriet?
CARLA
Yeah…
BOUNCER RON
Alright, but just this once. I can’t let everyone jump the line who says “their friend is inside” you know what I;m saying.
CARLA
Yeah… for sure. Thank you.
Carla goes to head inside but Bouncer Ron stops her.
BOUNCER RON
Whoah! Whoah! whoah!
CARLA
I’m sorry.
BOUNCER RON
It’s all good. I just need to see ID miss.
CARLA
Oh yeah. Of course. Thank you!
BOUNCER RON
Have Fun.
-
Lesson 12: End of Act ONE: what I learned on this assignment was that even though I had type-O’s and was not clear on what inciting incident was nor on what locks in the Protagonist,I was able to move forward. i chose something complicated and a very complicated theme of science-fiction, but I kept going forward. I will plan on revisiting act one to flesh it out more.
FADE IN:
INT. NEW MEXICO STATE UNIV. TELESCOPE – DAY
ASTROBIOLOGIST, Dr. AUGUSTUS “AUGGIE” AMADOR (30s),Team Leader and fellow astronomers toast SARAH(20s) on new job.
AUGGIE
Sarah, it goes without saying what you’ve meant to us, what you’ve brought to our team. Your insight helped me get published. I sincerely could not have done it without you.
Collective CHEERING. HOOTING. CLAPPING from the smartest youngest astronomers in the country.
ASTRONOMER, JERRY JENKINS (30s), team’s comedian can’t resist, makes his own toast.
JERRY
And here’s to all those nights y’all spent together gazing up at the stars. Alone. My table was always wet and in disarray in the morning.
Collective JOSHING,JABBING, and HOOING from team nerd; others jibe in:
STUDENT ASTRONOMER 1
My table had gooey ectoplasm.
STUDENT ASTRONOMER 2
Sticky and wet. Here’s to Venus !
AUGGIE
Ha-ha very funny. Distinguished Dr. Sarah will now be filing sexual harassment charges against all of you.
SARAH
Can’t file when it’s true.
Collective UPROAR,WHISTLING, CLAPPING, Auggie’s face turns red.
INT. OBSERVATION DECK – LATER
Sarah and Auggie chat away from party crowd.
AUGGIE
You just sullied my reputation.
SARAH
(laughing)
Give those nerds something to fantasize about.
AUGGIE
I’m gonna miss you.
SARAH
I wish you’d come.
AUGGIE
I can’t Sarah. It’s the principle of it all, Silicon Valley billionaires treating outer space like a roller roaster ride because they’re board with Earth. It…It makes me sick.
SARAH
I make you sick?
AUGGIE
No, not you. Never you. It’s just–
SARAH
It’s just what? More money than I’ve made in the past twenty years. I believe in you Auggie and in your quest for intelligent life out there, but life has to be lived here–
AUGGIE
–Yes, yes life is for the living not extra-terrestrials light-years away. You sound like someone I know.
INT. EX-WIFE’S HOME – NIGHT
Loud KNOCKS on door. REBECCA FLORES(30S),Psychologist, slim build strong willed answers door.
REBECCA
I hear you. You’re gonna wake her.
AUGGIE
Where is she?
REBECCA
She’s asleep. You said seven it’s now Ten.
AUGGIE
You’re gonna let me in?
Auggie crestfallen, enters rustic kitchen, takes a seat.
REBECCA
You need some tea to sober up.
AUGGIE
I’m perfectly fine driving through empty desert. I don’t care if I hit a cactus or rattlesnake.
Rebecca brings pot of tea to table.
REBECCA
You’re in those kinda moods.
AUGGIE
You know how going away party’s get. I’m sorry.
REBECCA
I know I know. I was faculty and student once.
(BEAT)
She was lovely. She was good for you. I thought she’s stick around.
AUGGIE
Me too.
REBECCA
But life goes on Auggie. Things are different now. You have to adapt to changing circumstances. Life is expensive.
AUGGIE
So what are you saying? My life’s work has been for nought? That I dedicate my life to launching rich assholes into outer space like an amusement park.
REBECCA
You’d look cute in a ball cap, chewing gum, selling tickets, ‘you must be this high to get on this ride.’
AUGGIE
Ha-Ha world’s funniest therapist.
ATHENA(9)comes running into kitchen.
ATHENA
Daddy!
AUGGIE
I’m so glad you’re up!
Auggie takes MUSHY chunk of cake wrapped in tinfoil from backpack. Rebecca brings candle from kitchen. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
REBECCA
Make a big wish!
Athena blows out solemn candle. BRAVO.
ATHENA
Another trip around the sun!
AUGGIE
Another light-year.
ATHENA
Not possible.
AUGGIE
Why not?
ATHENA
Because with current technology it would take humans 17,000 years. Even our fastest Solar probe travels at 430,000 miles an hour. Light travels at 186,282 miles a second!
AUGGIE
And what’s the distance to our closest neighbor star?
ATHENA
4.2 Light-years away.
REBECCA
Which seems an impossible goal.
ATHENA
Mom, don’t be so negative. Someday, maybe. Daddy, are you going to the conference?
EXT. DARK SKY HIGHWAY – NIGHT
Auggie barrels through desert highway. Sees night sky flooded with millions of stars.
Auggie SLAMS truck door shut, runs to observatory.
INT. NEW MEXICO STATE UNIV. TELESCOPE –
Rummages through dusty boxes. He finds old published article.
CLICKS on computer.
ON SCREEN: ANNUAL ASTRONOMY CONFERENCE DENVER
EXT. DARK SKY HIGHWAY –
Auggie, inspiration on his face, blazes north to Denver. A blazing shooting star cuts across the bedazzled night sky.
INT. ASTRONOMY CONFERENCE – DENVER, COLORADO – DAY
Auggie enters Conference hall filled with renowned international Nobel prize-winning Astronomers.
He sees colleagues (RALPH,GOMEZ,ZSIPINSKI, 30s) from previous research facilities, universities: AUGGIE !
AUGGIE
Ralph! Gomez! Zsipinsky!
RALPH
The three amigos are back! And one Polack
ZSIPINSKY
Hey! Why don’t Mexican astronauts eat beans before they go into space?
AUUGIE/GOMEZ/RALPH
Why?
ZSIPINSKY
Because they don’t want to great a gas planet.
RALPH
Not bad. Why do Poles make the best Astronauts?
(BEAT)
Because they take up space in school!
ZSIPINSKY
Assholes. You can do better than that. You’re only here because of Auggie and government quotas.
AUGGIE
Speaking of assholes. Is he–
ZSIPINSKY
–Yep. That’s one asshole Polack I can’t stand. I can’t believe he took all the credit for your paper. You up for a rematch.
AUGGI
He took credit for my work. He had the data. I had the soul, but he board took his side. This is my chance.
INT. ASTRONOMY CONFERENCE – STAGE – LATER
Auggie is wrapping up presentation. He takes out a crystal, aims laser at it. Spectra of lights shine in every direction.
AUGGIE
As you can see, at the speed of light, I can split the photons in multiple directions at once. Light spectra fracking out of nowhere in the universe is the closest extra-ORDINARY aberration we can make in outer space. It could only be perceived as a higher intelligence.
Nobel prize winning ASTROPHYSICIST PETER ROSINSKI(40s), rises to spew his own thoughts. He has gravitas — the room goes quiet when he speaks.
PETER
Refrackting crystals in space, huh?
AUGGIE
Correct.
PETER
And from what distance in our solar system to you intend to create your new age magic?
CHUCKLES from the Audience.
AUGGIE
At marginal orbit, at the edge of our solar system one million miles from earth.
PETER
Next door to the James Webb Satellite Telescope. And what happens when your magic crystal accidentally bumps the greatest achievement in the history of astronomy off course. Have you thought of that?
The conference hall turns super quiet and uncomfortable. Auggie’s sweat beads are heard hitting the podium.
PETER
What you’re saying is so preposterous. I’m flabbergasted you’ve been able to get this far.
More jeers from audience
PETER
If we were to go through with your crystal refracting , it would still take billions of years for your mock supernovas to reach your so called intelligent life. Professor, with all due respect, we won’t be around for even a few hundred years to get a response. I for one, don’t even have five more minutes.
The lecture hall rips into ROARING LAUGHTER. The Professor appears a little comedic on stage.
He taps the mic. Team Auggie stands up: LET HIM FINISH!
AUGGIE
Light is the only constant in outer space. Waiting for radio signals like we’ve been doing, as you have proposed, will indeed take too damn long. If you can see the light–literally, then intelligent life can respond in kind, like two ships at sea.
PETER
Stop. You’re making a fool of yourself. We’re not pirates out at sea sending signals with mirrors. And when that has worked, we were dealing with one ocean within our dimension of time. You’re light imprints still need millions perhaps more — why am I even discussing this idiocy. You simply have not accounted for the space time continuum in your childish mind. I for one can’t wait another minute for a drink.
World-renowned PHYSICISTS break out in heated YELLING. It’s battle of the nerds in conference hall.
Place-holder: inciting incident and locking -in journey of protagonist is missing.
-
Lesson 12 Trish’s Finished Act 1
What I learned doing this assignment is to keep encouraging myself to keep going even though I’m behind and there’s still more to do in Act 1.
ACT 1
EXT. HOTEL – DAY
An exquisitely beautiful hotel abuts a gorgeous, clear lake. Tall trees surround them. This quaint, secluded locale offers hope to stressed out vacationers. “We help you forget your worries,” it screams.
An airport van drives up the solitary lane. Adult passengers (no kids) file out, grab their bags and head inside.
INT. HOTEL LOBBY – DAY
Two female clerks smile at the guests and usher them up to the counter.
RICHARD BLACKWELL, the hotel manager, stands off to the side, observing. Early 50s, expensive suit, clean shaven – he’s very much in charge.
An elderly bellhop, SAM HARRIS, grabs bags. He’s so old, the guests are scared to let him pick up the bags.
RANDOM GUEST
I got it. I’ll just keep it with me.
Sam grabs the bags anyway.
SAM
We’re a full-service hotel here. Don’t you worry, sir.
EMMA HARPER approaches the counter. She’s in her 30s or 40s, burned out from her senior level marking position at a tech company, soon to be divorced. Wants to relax now, if you don’t mind.
HOTEL CLERK
Good afternoon, Ms. Harper.
EMMA
Hi, can you make sure my room is not near the elevator or stairwell? I need peace and quiet.
HOTEL CLERK
Oh, um, let me check. That may be hard to do. Our hotel is not that large and all rooms have a lake view, so we have multiple stairwells.
Richard senses trouble.
EMMA
Just my luck. First someone spills coffee on me in the van and now this.
HOTEL CLERK
Don’t worry.
EMMA
I knew I shouldn’t have had my assistant make the reservation.
Richard comes to help the clerk.
RICHARD
Everything okay?
HOTEL CLERK
Just looking for the quietest room for Ms. Harper.
Richard points to the screen, since they can’t say the numbers out loud.
RICHARD
I hope this will meet your needs and more. Our one desire at [hotel name] is for guests to relax and be at peace.
The clerk writes the number on the little envelope and hands Emma the key cards.
EMMA
Thanks. I appreciate it.
RICHARD
Please let us know if there’s ever anything you need.
She nods.
INT. HOTEL LOUNGE – LATER
Emma heads to the bar, having left her bags in the room.
EMMA
(to the bartender)
Sauvignon blanc, please.
Bartender nods.
Emma gets her phone out.
A woman, DR. OLIVIA TURNER, similar in age, drink in hand, approaches her.
OLIVIA
That won’t work you know.
Emma looks up.
EMMA
Huh?
OLIVIA
Phones don’t work here. At least, there’s no cell service. You can use the hotel wifi.
She points to a little sign on the bar.
EMMA
Ah.
She types in the password.
OLIVIA
Hi, I’m Olivia.
EMMA
Emma.
Emma gets her drink and they sit.
OLIVIA
Are you here for the week, too?
EMMA
Yeah, I think everyone has to book a week at a time, like a retreat.
OLIVIA
Oh right. My husband booked it. He’s over there with that guy.
EMMA
Which is which?
Olivia points to the men: MARCUS SANDER and LUCAS MCNARE.
Marcus, 40s, business man, weekend golfer, talks too much.
Lucas, 50s, wears an orthotic boot for a recent injury. Beer belly. Wears the weight of the world on his shoulders.
OLIVIA
Marcus on the left. I think the guy’s name is Lucas. If you want me to find out more about him, I can ask Marcus later.
EMMA
Oh, no thanks. I’m here alone and glad to be that way.
OLIVIA
Got it. I hope we can be friends at least.
Emma can’t think of a polite, yet truthful, reply.
EMMA
Sure.
She gazes out the huge window at the lake.
MONTAGE – GUESTS ENJOYING THE SPA
–Guests in a yoga class.
–Guests in hydrotherapy pool.
–Lucas doing exercises with personal training working on his injured leg.
–Olivia and Marcus meditate with a group by the lake.
–Emma receives a hot stone massage.
END OF MONTAGE
INT. HOTEL – DAY
Olivia sits in a seating area, ostensibly reading, but bored. She spots Emma walking nearby. She jumps up to walk with her.
OLIVIA
Hi Emma.
EMMA
Hi.
OLIVIA
Do you want to go for a walk or something?
EMMA
Oh, um, my legs are jello right now. Just had a massage.
OLIVIA
Ah. Maybe a drink later?
EMMA
Okay.
Emma walks off. Olivia retreats.
INT. EMMA’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Emma sleeps in bed, the picture of comfort. Lush bedding. Sound of a river flowing plays in the background.
But she frets.
EMMA’S DREAM MONTAGE
— Emma and her husband, DANIEL, yell at each other. Snippets are heard in this well worn argument.
DANIEL
…missed dinner again…
EMMA
…deadline…job important…
— Daniel’s at a party without her, he checks his phone, looks at the door.
Emma’s at work with her colleagues, doing what it takes to get whatever it is done. Her phone lights up, but she doesn’t see it.
— Different day, Emma walks down the hall to their bedroom, but Daniel has moved into the spare room. She looks in as he closes the door in her face.
END OF DREAM
Emma’s eyes open. No crying or bolting out of bed for her. She turns over, readjusts, sighs. Should she try to go back to sleep?
After a few seconds, she gets up and finds her iPad, opens the Kindle app, and selects a book.
She settles in to read.
INT. HOTEL DINING AREA – MORNING
Olivia and Marcus, done with breakfast, prepare to leave the dining area. She spots Emma eating alone at a table.
OLIVIA
(to Marcus)
I’ll catch up with you later.
MARCUS
‘K.
Olivia approaches Emma.
OLIVIA
Mind if I join you?
Emma nods approval.
OLIVIA
Are you enjoying your trip so far?
EMMA
I don’t know.
Olivia gives a questioning face.
OLIVIA
I didn’t mean to pry.
EMMA
No, it’s just that I had a bad dream last night. I’m still trying to shake it off.
OLIVIA
Me too! It was about a patient. I’m a doctor.
EMMA
Oh. It was like I was there. I don’t want to be there. That’s why I came here!
OLIVIA
Yeah. I hear you.
EMMA
Not a good story about a patient, I presume.
OLIVIA
Nope.
EMMA
Weird. Maybe it’s just stress. It goes with you, I guess. Can’t leave it at home.
Emma sighs and stands up to leave the table and this heaviness.
EXT. LAKE PATH – AFTERNOON
Lucas rests on a bench by the lake. Emma approaches and looks around.
EMMA
Is this where the guided tour meets up?
LUCAS
Yeah, in a few minutes. Do you want to sit?
With no other options, she sits by him on the bench. Looks at her smartwatch.
LUCAS
Still in withdrawal?
EMMA
Excuse me.
LUCAS
(fingering his wrist where a watch would be)
From work mode. Anxiously waiting for a guided wilderness tour to begin…
EMMA
Oh yeah, I guess. It’s not a switch you just turn off. At least not one that’s been on for years.
LUCAS
Probably takes a while to slow down.
(lifting his injured leg)
Injuries help slow you down. Focus on what matters.
EMMA
Sorry. How’d you do it?
LUCAS
Nothing interesting. Tripped. Getting old, I guess.
EMMA
Are you still in work mode?
LUCAS
Trying not to be. I’m sort of retired.
EMMA
What did you do?
LUCAS
Investigative journalist for a local paper.
EMMA
A dying breed.
LUCAS
Journalists or papers?
EMMA
Both?
LUCAS
Agree. A private equity firm bought ours. I couldn’t stay.
EMMA
Couldn’t or wouldn’t?
He laughs.
LUCAS
Wouldn’t….and you?
Other guests appear for the tour.
EMMA
Marketing at a tech firm.
The tour guide appears.
TOUR GUIDE
Is everyone ready for the guided wilderness tour?
EMMA
(to Lucas)
That’s my cue.
LUCAS
Hey, I’m coming too.
TOUR GUIDE
This way everyone. These trees are evergreen, meaning they don’t change colors or lose their leaves…
INT. HOTEL LOBBY – DAY
Emma approaches the front desk. Richard’s there. He smiles warmly.
RICHARD
Ms. Harper, how may I help you today?
EMMA
Hi, I think the internet is down. I can’t access my work email.
RICHARD
To enhance the relaxation of our guests, we restrict some sites, such as work-related ones, to encourage guests to disconnect.
She scowls.
EMMA
So you choose what we can do on the internet?
RICHARD
We think of it as part of our immersive relaxation retreat.
She notices a landline on the counter, facing where a guest would stand.
EMMA
And wifi calling doesn’t seem to work either. Is this phone for guests to use?
RICHARD
Yes, we encourage it for emergencies only. Again, disconnecting is the idea.
EMMA
Uh huh.
INT. HOTEL DINING AREA – MORNING
Emma enters the dining area where guests are having breakfast. People chatter and look quite disturbed.
As she walks to the food area, she eavesdrops.
RANDOM GUEST
…had that dream again…
OTHER GUEST
…horrible…couldn’t stop it….
INT. HOTEL DINING AREA – MOMENTS LATER
As she eats, she continues to eavesdrop.
GUEST
…and then my father shot him!
OTHER GUEST
Damn! Didn’t you have the same dream yesterday?
GUEST
Yeah!
Emma eats, perplexed. It’s very weird. The hubbub is all about the dreams.
INT. HOTEL LOBBY – LATER
Emma spots the bellhop, Sam, leaning against the counter.
When he spots her, he stands upright, doffs his figurative cap.
SAM
Good morning, Ms. Harper. Is there anything I can get you today?
She looks at the two ladies at the front desk that he’s leaning on. She’s still across the lobby.
EMMA
I, uh, was wondering…
He reads her body language and comes over. They walk together down the hall.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS
SAM
You were wondering?
EMMA
Yes, it’s silly maybe, but I keep overhearing guests talking about having bad dreams.
SAM
Yes, I’ve heard that too.
EMMA
I’m having them too. It’s not just having-watched-a-scary-movie type thing.
SAM
Ya know, these things happen.
She makes a quizzical face, but goes on.
EMMA
It’s like, something about this place seems to be provoking them.
SAM
I’ve heard about people getting sick on vacation. Something about the immune system. Maybe it’s like that.
EMMA
But en masse?
SAM
Well, everyone arrived at the same time to experience this retreat.
EMMA
Not a relaxing retreat, is it?
SAM
We’re here if you need us.
Here for what she doesn’t know. He walks off.
Richard steps out of his office behind them, likely to have heard their conversation. He frowns.
INT. HOTEL – DAY
Guests are in various places in the hotel. The intercom turns on and they listen up.
INT. LOUNGE – CONTINUOUSEmma and Olivia sit together in the lounge, separately reading.
RICHARD
(through the intercom)
Good afternoon, [hotel name] guests. Just a friendly reminder to please remember to take advantage of the sleep sounds machine in your rooms, allowing you to listen to your choice of pleasing water and nature sounds to enhance a relaxing night’s rest. I’m also pleased to offer everyone one free spa treatment of their choice.
INT. HOTEL – CONTINUOUS
The guests “ooh” and “aah” over that part.
INT. LOUNGE – CONTINUOUS
After the intercom shut off, Emma tilts her head as she hears light music playing somewhere in the air.
EMMA
Has that music always been playing?
OLIVIA
Oh, I don’t know. I think so? I think it’s all around – part of the ambiance.
EMMA
I’m not sure we can take any more ambiance. This place is spooky. Everyone’s so stressed out.
OLIVIA
I know. How are we supposed to relax when we can’t sleep?
EMMA
Were we all stressed out before and only just noticed when we got here and tried to “relax”?
OLIVIA
Maybe. When you’re used to a hectic schedule, like most people have, sitting around doing nothing can be its own stress.
EMMA
I hope we all chill out soon and are able to enjoy this so-called retreat.
OLIVIA
I hope so, I can’t take much more of this.
Emma examines Olivia’s face to read her expression. What did she mean by that?
Olivia looks out the window, not meeting her gaze.
EMMA
For real.
MONTAGE OF MULTIPLE GUEST NIGHTMARES
–INT. EMMA’S ROOM – NIGHT
Image of Emma as a little girl holding her dad’s hand at a funeral.
–INT. OLIVIA’S ROOM – NIGHT
Olivia at work in the hospital, chaos all around, patient dead on the table.
–INT. WOMAN’S ROOM – NIGHT
Unknown woman kisses another woman.
–INT. LUCAS’S ROOM – NIGHT
Lucas in a courtroom public seating area, judge bangs a gavel.
–INT. MAN’S ROOM – NIGHT
Unknown man putting on superhero outfit for cosplay party/event.
END OF MONTAGE
INT. EMMA’S HOTEL ROOM – MORNING
Emma wakes up. Looks like shit. She flings off the covers.
INT. HOTEL DINING AREA – MORNING
Dressed now, sitting at a table, picking at some food, Emma keeps her eye on the entryway.
At last, Olivia and her husband enter.
Emma waves her over. She comes alone.
EMMA
I have to talk to you.
OLIVIA
Another dream?
She nods.
EMMA
It was so specific. Stuff from childhood. I hadn’t thought about in decades. I’m kind of freaking out here.
Olivia looks like she might throw up.
EMMA
Hey, are you all right?
Olivia looks up.
Lucas sits at a neighboring table. He eavesdrops.
OLIVIA
Um, no. Mine was like a movie of…well, last time, I said it was a time when a patient died.
Emma nods.
OLIVIA
This was like a play-by-play of everything. I didn’t know I could remember all those details. Not exactly a day I want to remember, you know?
Lucas slides his chair over.
LUCAS
I’m sorry to intrude, but I heard you talking about bad dreams. I’ve had them too and I’ve heard others say the same.
OLIVIA
They’re not just bad dreams. They’re vivid memories of my worst day.
EMMA
Lucas, are yours repetitive too?
He nods. Emma ponders.
EMMA
None of this can be coincidence. Everybody having specific, Groundhog’s day-type nightmares? What do we all have in common?
Lucas and Olivia share a glance.
LUCAS
We’re on the same vacation.
EMMA
Exactly. I said before that this place is spooky, but now I think, it’s someone – making it that way.
OLIVIA
You mean, making us have these dreams?
EMMA
Yeah. I don’t know why or how, but look around.
They look at the other guests, who also look like shit.
EMMA
It’s hell here. I have to figure this out.
LUCAS
Let me help. Investigating was my job, you know.
EMMA
It might be dangerous.
She gives him a disapproving ‘once over’.
Olivia grabs Emma’s hand.
OLIVIA
I don’t know what you can do, but please make them stop.
EMMA
I promise.
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