Lesson 12

[Brenda Boddy]

Brenda Boddy is ready for feedback.
What I learned: This was very hard, but I felt like I had some breakthroughs that will elevate my story.
The format does not seem to come through on these links, which makes it hard to see. I will try to contact help to submit my lesson for review.
BRENDA BODDY IS READY FOR FEEDBACK
Title: BORDER JUSTICE
Format/Genre DRAMA/ACTION
By: BRENDA BODDY

Concept: (Pre-Lesson 2)
A. Engaging and highly proactive hero…A MORAL TEXAS RANGER FROM 1908 BRINGS HIS VALUE SYSTEM WITH HIM WHEN HE
B. …up against a major conflict… REINCARNATES INTO A CORRUPT BORDER PATROL AGENT,

C. …goes on unique transformational journey…INCITING A STRING OF REPERCUSSIONS AS HE ADAPTS TO
D. …into an intriguing world. A MODERN BORDER TACTICAL UNIT.
Intriguing World: (Pre-Lesson 2)
A. Sub-world… LAW ENFORCEMENT.
B. …we haven’t explored before or haven’t explored this way…SEEN THROUGH THE EYES OF A LAWMAN FROM A CENTURY AGO.
C. …that makes the transformational journey even more intriguing. WHILE WORKING AS A MODERN BORDER TACTICAL AGENT.
Circles of Characters: (Lesson 2)
A. Main Characters JUSTICE, KENZIE, SAMANTHA, JEWEL, MASON, MILEY.
B. Connected Characters HIS COMMANDER, CUERVO (Woman who is head of Mexican Cartel), MIGUEL and ANTONIO (her sons), Tom (friend from both past and present).
C. Environment Characters OTHER EMPLOYEES IN A BORTAC AGENCY.
 
Character 1: JUSTICE
Engaging (Lesson 3)
A. Role in the show: BORTAC AGENT/HUSBAND/FATHER
B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: DISPENSE LAW FROM 1908 PERSPECITVE.
C. Moral Issue: OLD-FASHIONED.
D. Unpredictable: HE WILL CROSS MODERN LINES.
E. Empathetic: MOURNING HIS SON. Vivid flashbacks and dreams from 1908.

Intriguing Layers (Lesson 4)
A. Hidden Agendas: FIGURE OUT WHY HE’S HERE. GO HOME TO HIS SON.
B. Competition: HIS PREDECESSOR/CUERVO.
C. Conspiracy: TO KEEP THE REINCARNATION SECRET.
D. Secrets: THAT HE’S NOT JUSTICE.
E. Deception: HE IS A BORTAC AGENT.
F. Wound: HE LEFT 4-YEAR-OLD SON BEHIND.
G. Secret Identity: TEXAS RANGER.

Emotional Depth (Lesson 5)
A. Hope: TO GO HOME / Fear: THAT HE’S STUCK IN THE FUTURE.
B. Want: TO GO HOME / Need: TO FIT IN WITH HIS PEERS. SURVIVAL IN THE MODERN WORLD.
C. Base Negative Emotion: NOT QUALIFIED. FEAR / Public Mask: CONFIDENT. LAWMAN.
D. Weaknesses: LACK OF KNOWLEDGE.
E. Triggers: FEAR. NOT HONORING YOUR CODE OF HONOR.
F. Coping Mechanism: ACTION. FIGHT. Character 2: SAMANTHA
Engaging
A. Role in the show: DAUGHTER
B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: PROTECT HER MOM. BE A TRIAL FOR JUSTICE.
C. Moral Issue: TRYING TO KILL HER FATHER. LYING TO STAY OUT OF TROUBLE.
D. Unpredictable: WHEN HER BACK IS AGAINST THE WALL.
E. Empathetic: WE UNDERSTAND HOW SHE LOVES HER MOM AND HATES HER DAD FOR HIS ABUSE.

Intriguing Layers
A. Hidden Agendas: TO KILL HER DAD
B. Competition: ADULTS.
C. Conspiracy: HER MOM.
D. Secrets: SHE STOLE POISON.
E. Deception: SHE HATES HER DAD.
F. Wound: HER MOM’S ABUSE.
G. Secret Identity: JUSTICE THINKS SHE’S HIS GREAT, GREAT GRANDDAUGHTER. SHE ISN’T.

Emotional Depth
A. Hope: TO HAVE A NORMAL FAMILY / Fear: HER DAD WILL KILL HER MOM.
B. Want: SAFETY / Need: TO NOT BE AFRAID.
C. Base Negative Emotion: ANGER / Public Mask: TIMID/RECLUSIVE
D. Weaknesses: NOT AN ADULT.
E. Triggers: BULLYING. ABUSE.
F. Coping Mechanism: SELF-ABUSE. CUTTING. PLOTTING REVENGE. Character 3: KENZIE
Engaging
A. Role in the show: WIFE
B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: GET AWAY FROM HER HUSBAND. A FOIL FOR JUSTICE’S ACTIONS AND REACTIONS.
C. Moral Issue: WILL DO WHATEVER IS NECESSARY TO PROTECT HER KID.
D. Unpredictable: DOESN’T LOVE JUSTICE SO IS OPEN TO SECRET ACTIONS AGAINST HIM.
E. Empathetic: SHE’S ABUSED.

Intriguing Layers
A. Hidden Agendas: TO LEAVE JUSTICE
B. Competition: JUSTICE
C. Conspiracy: SAMANTHA
D. Secrets: HER ABUSE. SAMANTHA IS NOT JUSTICE’S.
E. Deception: SHE HATES HER HUSBAND.
F. Wound: JUSTICE NEVER FORGAVE HER.
G. Secret Identity:

Emotional Depth
A. Hope: TO ESCAPE / Fear: JUSTICE WILL FIND AND HURT HER.
B. Want: A NORMAL LIFE. / Need: SAFETY.
C. Base Negative Emotion: FAILURE / Public Mask: CARING MOTHER.
D. Weaknesses: NO JOB SKILLS.
E. Triggers: HER DAUGHTERS WELL-BEING AND SAFETY.
F. Coping Mechanism: SARCASM, GARDENING.

Potential Layers FOR JUSTICE
SEASON 1:
JUSTICE: A BORTAC AGENT
LAYER: HE REINCARNATED FROM 1908.
LAYER: HE CAN HEAL INSTANTAEOUSLY.
LAYER: HE HAS SKILLS ADVANCED TO SOMEONE FROM 1908.
LAYER: HIS PREDECESSOR WAS CORRUPT. HE DISPLAYS AN EXTREME PERSONALITY CHANGE TO MORALITY AND A CODE OF HONOR.
LAYER: VIVID FLASHBACKS AND DREAMS OF A WIFE AND SON IN 1908.
LAYER: INTERNAL AFFAIRS IS INVESTIGATING HIM
LAYER: ELECTRONIC DEVICES MALFUNCTION OR BEHAVE ERRATICALLY IN HIS PRESENCE.
LAYER: TOM WAS IN THE PAST AND REAPPEARS IN THE FUTURE.
LAYER: SCIENTIFIC ANALYSIS DETECTS TECHNLOGY THAT IS NOT HUMAN.
LAYER: A SHOWDOWN WHERE JUSTICE FINDS OUT THE TRUTH AND CONFRONTS A SHADOWY GOVERNMENT AGENCY.
TWIST ENDING: HE DID NOT REINCARNATE. A COMPUTER CHIP WAS PLANTED IN HIS MEMORY CENTER, CREATING A NEW IDENTITY FOR HIM.

SEASON 2:
JUSTICE: A BORTAC AGENT THAT HAS A MICROCHIP IN HIS BRAIN.
LAYER: SUDDEN LAPSES IN MEMORY OR VIVIED FLASHBACKS THAT REVEAL PARALLELS BETWEEN HIS EXPERIENCES AND CURRENT PREDICAMENTS.
LAYER: HE BEGINS TO NOTICE SIMILARITIES AND MANNERISMS THAT APPEAR BETWEEN BOTH THE TEXAS LAWMAN AND JUSTICE.
LAYER: PHYSICAL MANIFESTATIONS BEGIN TO APPEAR (SCARS, UNEXPLAINED INJURIES) THAT WERE PERSONAL TO THE TEXAS RANGER.
LAYER: HE BEGINS TO TUNE INTO CRYPTIC MESSAGES THAT IMMINATE FROM UNKNOWN SOURCES.
LAYER: HE SEES GLITCHES IN THE FABRIC OF REALITY AND EXPERIENCES TIME DILATION.
LAYER: BRAIN SCANS REVEAL IRREGULAR PATTERNS OF ACITVITY.
LAYER: A SERIES OF COINCIDENCES THAT SEEM TOO IMPROBABLE TO BE RANDOM.
TWIST ENDING: WHILE THE CHIP MAY HAVE PLAYED A ROLE, IT MALFUNCTIONED, LEAVING A VOID THAT WAS A CATALYST TO HIM BEING AN ACTUAL REINCARNATION. BASIC SURFACE PLOT LINE OVER SEASONS:
JUSTICE IS ABUSIVE TO HIS WIFE AND SHIPPING WOMEN ACROSS THE BORDER.
HANK REINCARNATES INTO JUSTICE.
HIS FAMILY DOESN’T BELIEVE HIS STORY.
HIS TEAM DOESN’T BELIEVE HIS STORY.
HE DISCOVERS HIS PREDECESSOR WAS SHIPPING WOMEN ACROSS THE BORDER AND GOES AFTER THE CARTEL, BUNGLING AN ARREST.
HIS TEAM IS ANGRY WITH HIS IMCOMPETENCE BUT HE’S ABLE TO SHOW THEM HIS ABILITY TO HEAL.
SAMANTHA HAS STOLLEN POISON AND TRIES TO KILL HIM. KENZIE TRIES TO ESCAPE WITH SAMANTHA.
THE MEXICAN CARTEL THINK HE HAS BETRAYED THEM AND KIDNAP HIS FAMILY.
HE AND THE TEAM USE BORTAC TECHNOLGY TO TRACK HIS FAMILY.
IN AN OLD-FASHIONED SHOOTOUT THEY ARE ABLE TO RESCUE SAMANTHA.
THE CARTEL CHANGES KENZIE’S LOOK AND AUCTIONS HER OFF.
THE TEAM FINALLY FINDS WHERE KENZIE IS STASHED AND RESCUES HER, KILLING THE SON OF THE CARTEL.
THE CARTEL RETALIATES BY BLOWING UP JUSTICE’S HOUSE.
 
Character 4: MASON
Engaging (Lesson 3)
A. Role in the show: BORTAC AGENT/ FRIEND
B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: MENTOR/PARTNER. NERDY – OPPOSITE OF JUSTICE.
C. Moral Issue: RULE FOLLOWER.
D. Unpredictable: HE’S NEEDY.
E. Empathetic: BEAT UP AS A KID.

Intriguing Layers (Lesson 4)
A. Hidden Agendas:
B. Competition:
C. Conspiracy: TO KEEP REINCARNATION SECRET.
D. Secrets: HE’S IN LOVE WITH MILEY.
E. Deception:
F. Wound: HIS FATHER EXPECTED HIM TO BE A LAWYER. THEY DON’T SPEAK.
G. Secret Identity:

Emotional Depth (Lesson 5)
A. Hope: TO HAVE FRIENDS / Fear: NO ONE LIKES HIM.
B. Want: TO BE POPULAR / Need: TO ACCEPT HIMSELF.
C. Base Negative Emotion: WORTHLESS / Public Mask: FUN LOVING.
D. Weaknesses: INSECURITY.
E. Triggers: HYPERSENSITIVE TO SLIGHTS. ENRAGED WHEN CRITICIZED.
F. Coping Mechanism: RETREATS. WORKS OUT OBSESSIVELY. Character 5: JEWEL
Engaging
A. Role in the show: AGENT/POTENTIAL ROMANTIC.
B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: BAD ASS.
C. Moral Issue: SHE WORKS TO SAVE LIVES WHILE STALKING AND KILLING PIMPS.
D. Unpredictable: DOESN’T TRUST MEN.
E. Empathetic: ABUSED AND USED.

Intriguing Layers
A. Hidden Agendas: TO KILL CUERVO.
B. Competition: OTHER AGENTS.
C. Conspiracy: WORKING WITH INTERNAL AFFAIRS.
D. Secrets: SHE’S KILLING PIMPS AND HELPING THE HOMELESS.
E. Deception: SHE STAYS WITHIN THE LAW.
F. Wound: BEING A SEX SLAVE.
G. Secret Identity: SET IN THE TEAM AS A MOLE FOR INTERNAL AFFAIRS.

Emotional Depth
A. Hope: TO FEEL CONFIDENT / Fear: TO BE OUT OF CONTROL – A VICTIM.
B. Want: REVENGE / Need: TO FIND PEACE.
C. Base Negative Emotion: VICTIM / Public Mask: BAD ASS.
D. Weaknesses: HER PAST CLOUDS HER JUDGEMENT.
E. Triggers: MALE AGGRESSION. PIMPS.
F. Coping Mechanism: FIGHTS BACK/ MOUTHY/REVENGE. Character 6: MILEY
Engaging
A. Role in the show: AGENT/POTENTIAL ROMANTIC.
B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: PART OF THE TEAM.
C. Moral Issue: SHE STOPS CRIMINAL BEHAVIOUR BUT STALKS MEN HERSELF.
D. Unpredictable: DRIVEN BY HER NEEDINESS.
E. Empathetic: EVERYONE SHE LOVES HAS DIED.

Intriguing Layers
A. Hidden Agendas: TO HAVE A BOYFRIEND.
B. Competition: OTHER WOMEN
C. Conspiracy:
D. Secrets: SHE IS BULIMIC AND FOOD OBSESSIVE.
E. Deception:
F. Wound: SHE ASSISTED HER MOTHER WITH SUICIDE.
G. Secret Identity:

Emotional Depth
A. Hope: TO BE PART OF A FAMILY / Fear: SHE’LL ALWAYS BE ALONE.
B. Want: A BOYFRIEND. / Need: TO LIKE HERSELF.
C. Base Negative Emotion: WORTHLESS/ Public Mask: SELF-SACRIFICING HELPER.
D. Weaknesses: FALLS FOR MEN WHO DON’T WANT HER.
E. Triggers: REJECTION
F. Coping Mechanism: OVEREATING/BULIMIA/STALKING.
Potential Layers (Lesson 10)

PLOT LAYERS – Story beneath the story.
MASON: A BORTAC agent who works with his team as an agent.
Layer 2: He’s desperate to prove himself and to have friends.
Layer 3: He chose to go into law enforcement, against his dad’s wishes.
Layer 4: He works out obsessively and looks for any opportunity to climb the ladder.
Layer 5. He’s been bullied and teased all his life due to being overweight and nerdy.
Layer 6: His father expected him to become a lawyer like himself.
Potential Layers (Lesson 10)

PLOT LAYERS – Story beneath the story.
JEWEL: A BORTAC agent who works with her team as an agent.
Layer 2: She also works undercover with internal affairs to find a mole.
Layer 3: She’s using the agency to search for Cuervo who is behind sex trafficking rings.
Layer 4: She was a child in Cuervo’s ring.
Layer 6: She’s killing the members of the ring.

Potential Layers (Lesson 10)

PLOT LAYERS – Story beneath the story.
MILEY: A BORAC agent who works with her team as an agent.
Layer 2: She’s deals with emotions by overeating and then being bulimic.
Layer 3: She is bulimic and emotional when she feels needy and rejected.
Layer 4: She clings to relationships so hard that the intended love pushes her away.
Layer 5: She is desperate for love because both her siblings and her mom died within a six-month period.
Layer 6: When her mom was dying of cancer, she assisted with her suicide and feels guilty.

 

Empathy / Distress (Lesson 7)

Undeserved misfortune.
KENZIE WANTS A DIVORCE AND IS TRYING TO ESCAPE.
External Character conflicts.
JUSTICE ANGERS THE MEXICAN CARTEL WHO THINK HE BETRAYED THEM.
Plot intruding on life.
JUSTICE REINCARNATES INTO A BORTAC AGENT.
INTERNAL AFFAIRS IS INVESTIGATING JUSTICE.
THE CARTEL KIDNAPS JUSTICE’S FAMILY.
KENZIE IS SOLD AT AUCTION
THE CARTEL BLOWS UP JUSTICE’S HOUSE
Moral dilemmas.
JUSTICE GOES AFTER THE CARTEL HIMSELF.
JUSTICE KILLS THE SON OF THE CARTEL.
JUSTICE INTEROGATES A WITNESS AND USES TOO MUCH FORCE.
Forced decisions they’d never make.
JUSTICE IS CAPTURED AND HAS TO KILL A WOMAN TO ESCAPE.
Relationship Hooks (Lesson 6)

Looking at your Relationship Map, what major hooks could show up?

JUSTICE/ KENZIE
KENZIE FEARS RETRIBUTION FOR TRYING TO EXCAPE JUSTICE WHILE THE NEW JUSTICE WILL INTERACT WITH BLACK PEOPLE FROM A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ERA.

JUSTICE/SAMANTHA
SAMANTHA TRIES TO KILL HER FATHER FOR HIS ABUSE BUT AS THEY SETTLE INTO A FAMILY HER DISRESPECT CAN MANIFEST IN BAD BEHAVIOUR

JUSTICE/JEWELL
JEWEL TRIES TO CATCH JUSTICE IN LIES AND EXPOSE HIM FOR BEING CORRUPT. JUSTICE INITIALLY TREATS HER LIKE A WHORE, MAKING HER DISLIKE HIM EVEN MORE.

JUSTICE/MILEY
JUSTICE’S OLD-FASHIONED COURTESY TOWARD WOMEN IN GENERAL CHARMS MILEY WHO ATTACHES HERSLF QUICKLY TO HIM, FORCING HIM TO PUSH HER AWAY. THIS TRIGGERS OBSESSIVE BEHAVIOUR IN HER.

JUSTICE/MASON
BOTH JUSTICE AND MASON HAVE DISAPPOINTED FATHERS.

Mystery (Lesson 8)

Type 1: Shocking Event
A. Shocking Event: JUSTICE REINCARNATES INTO THE FUTURE
B. Secret: HE’S A RANGER FROM 1908
C. Investigation: INTERNAL AFFAIRS IS INVESTIGATING THE CURRENT JUSTICE.

Type 2: Over Time
A. Cover up: THE CRIMES OF JUSTICE’S PREDECESSOR THAT WOULD GET HIM INTO TOUBLE.
B. THAT HE HAS A MICROCHIP IN HIS HEAD.
B. Secret: HANK IS PRETENDING TO BE JUSTICE IN THE NEW BODY BUT HIS PERSONALITY AND ACTIONS ARE RADICALLY DIFFERENT.
C. Reveals:
A.I. PLUGIN CHIP PLACED IN HIS MEMORY BANK, WHICH INTEGRATED WITH HIS BODY – AI WAS INSTRUCTED TO CREATE A MORAL LAWMAN, WITH HIGH SURVIVAL SKILLS, TO CREATE A BACKSTORY FOR HIM, AND TO GIVE HIM A FLAW. IT WAS ASSUMED THAT HE REINCARNATED, WHEN HE IS REALLY THE RESULT OF ADVANCED SCIENCE.

Season 2 reveal:
THE A.I. SET UP A MEMORY TEMPLATE IN JUSTICE, WITH ALL THE ATTRIBUTES OF HIS OWN GRANDFATHER. WHEN THE CHIP MALFUNCTIONED, IT CREATERD A VOID THAT WAS A CATALYST TO THE REINCARNATION OF JUSTICE’S GRANDFATHER, HANK, WHO DIED IN A PARALLEL ACCIDENT.

Potential Layers (Lesson 10)

PLOT LAYERS – Story beneath the story.
– Major scheme revealed.
JEWEL IS WORKING FOR INTERNAL AFFAIRS TO TAKE JUSTICE DOWN.
TOM PUT AN A.I. CHIP IN JUSTICE’S HEAD.
– Mystery revealed. TOM IS IN THE FUTURE.
– Thought the story was one thing, but it is another. THE AUDIENCE THINKS A TEXAS RANGER REINCARNATED INTO A CORRUPT BORTAC AGENT. AT THE END OF THE SEASON, WE ARE SHOCKED TO REALIZE THE CORRUPT AGENT HAD AN A.I. CHIP IMPLANTED IN HIS MEMORY WHICH IS CAUSING HIM TO THINK HE’S FROM THE PAST. AT THE END OF SEASON TWO, WE ARE SHOCKED AGAIN TO FIND OUT HE REALLY DID REINCARNATE FROM THE PAST AND THE MEMORY CHIP WAS DISFUNCTIONAL ALL ALONG.
– Major shift in Meaning JUSTICE’S DAUGHTER IS NOT RELATED AT ALL.
– Hidden history: KENZIE WAS UNFAITHFUL TO JUSTICE.
– Hidden plan: TOM IS DEMONSTRATING THAT HE CAN RADIACALLY CHANGE A PERSONALITY WITH A.I. CHIPS. HOPE FOR REHABILITATING MANKIND FROM ITS WORST TRAITS.
CHARACTER LAYERS – identity beneath the identity. JUSTICE (A CORRUPT BORTAC AGENT IS NOW MORAL JUSTICE FROM 1908, WHO IS REALLY THE CORRUPT JUSTICE WITH A MICROCHIP THAT HAS ALTERED HIM.
– Secret identity: A TEXAS RANGER FROM 1908
– Intrigue surrounding the character: HE TALKS AND ACTS DIFFERENTLY.
– Hidden relationships: TOM WORKS WITH A SHADOWY GOVERNMENT AGENCY EXPERIMENTING WITH A.I. CHIPS.
– Hidden Character history.: AN AI CHIP IS PLACED IN JUSTICE’S MEMORY. ITS CREATIVE PROGRAMMING TAKES OVER HIS BRAIN CREATING THE FOLLOWING HISTORY: HANK (FROM 1908) IS DYSLEXIC. HIS FATHER WAS A HIGH UP CITY SPOKESMAN WHO WAS EMBARRASSED AT A SON WHO COULDN’T READ. HE WENT WEST AND EVENTUALLY BECAME A TEXAS RANGER, WHO LOST HIS WIFE IN CHILDBIRTH, WAS RAISING HIS FOUR-YEAR-OLD SON HIMSELF AND REINCARNATED INTO JUSTICE THROUGH A PARALLEL ACCIDENT A HUNDRED YEARS APART.
– New alliances: JUSTICE TEAMS WITH JEWEL TO TAKE DOWN CUERVO, THE LEADER OF THE MEXICAN CARTEL.

Open Loops (Lesson 9)

1. Something important happened…TOM WAS SEEN IN THE PAST
2. …that is incomplete…AND SHOWS UP AGAIN IN THE FUTURE
3. …which creates a question about the future. WHO IS TOM AND WHAT IS HIS ROLE IN THE STORY?

***JEWEL COMES ONTO JUSTICE. THEN WE REALIZE SHE DESPISES HIM. WHY?
***JUSTICE WAKENS TO SEE MILEY AND REACHES FOR HER LIKE HE KNOWS HER. WHY?
*** Irony (Lesson 11)

Character Irony:

OLD JUSTICE WAS CORRUPT/NEW JUSTICE IS MORAL
JUSTICE FIGHTS CRIME FROM AN OLD-FASHIONED STANDPOINT/WHICH GETS HIM IN TROUBLE WITH HIS TEAM.

Situational Irony:
JUSTICE ENDS UP WITH JEWEL WHO STARTS OUT AS HIS ARCH ENEMY.
JUSTICE’S CODE OF HONOR INCLUDES PROTECTING WOMEN, BUT HE HAS TO KILL A WOMAN TO ESCAPE CUERVO.

BOTTOM LINE: I ORIGIONALLY THOUGHT I WOULD DO THIS ENTIRE SEASON AS A TEXAS LAWMAN THAT REINCARNATES A HUNDRED YEARS INTO THE FUTURE. ADDING THE LAYER THAT INVOLVES PUTTING AN AI CHIP INTO HIS BRAIN IS NEW MATERIAL. AS AN AUDIENCE MEMBER, WOULD THIS SERIES BE MORE COMPELLING AS AN OLD-FASHIONED COWBOY IN TODAY’S SOCIETY, OR AS A SCIENCE EXPERIMENT THAT WILL MAKE YOU THINK? I’M NOT SURE WHICH WAY TO PROCEED.