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Lesson 13
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Alfred Dunham: Misdirects… When Appropriate.
What I learned doing this lesson”
I learned that misdirection could help isolate the true Villain from the story until we are ready to reveal him and to help set up the Red Herring Character. This can lead to an exciting avalanche of reveals to lift the audience even higher from all the previous exciting/scary stuff the writer has used to keep his/her audience on the edge of their seats until now.
I. THREE WAYS MISDIRECTION HAS ALREADY BEEN PRESENTED
You already have misdirection built into your Thriller Map in three ways that feel natural and create that trill experience that audiences crave.
A. The “Reality” that is a cover-up for each mystery.
1. The Villain has a secret.
2. He or she covers that secret with a lie or scheme.
3. That lie or scheme is presented to the audience as the truth or reality before we even suspect it.
B. The Villain’s plan
The Villain has a plan to accomplish some goal that they’re willing to kill to achieve. The plan and goal are hidden in an underhanded way. The plan is devious and dangerous to anyone who gets in the way.
C. Red Herring Character
This character feels guilt or is scheming for some reason other than the crime that is being investigated. So, they act and react as if they are hiding something. Many clues point to their guilt. We believe they are guilty. It is not until we discover the real thing they are hiding that we realize they didn’t commit the crime.
II. FOURTH FORM OF MISDIRECTION — WRITER MISDIRECTION
These are things that don’t fit into the previous categories that the writer deliberately adds to create misdirection. There are lots of ways to do this, but here are a few that will get you started.
A. CLUE MISDIRECTION
1. Misinterpreted clue.
2. Clue that sends us to another potential Red Herring.
B. CHARACTER MISDIRECTION
1. A character we don’t believe who turns out to be telling the truth.
2. Characters jumping to conclusions.
3. Characters intentions are misunderstood.
4. Character presented as one thing but turns out to be another.
C. DIALOGUE MISDIRECTION
1. A line that was misunderstood.
2. Has one meaning now, but another later.
CAUTION: Don’t overdo this. Too much writer misdirection will cause you to lose your audience.
THRILLER MAP/PLOT – LATEST VERSION – LESSON 13
OPENING:
MYSTERY
1. Who, after all, is Silas, and who is his boss?
2. Why the strange offer?
3. Where is this “Valley,” and why does an electronics firm own it?
4. Who is the guy at the wedding that walks off?
DANGER
1. Why is Isabella so out of joint over Sialis knowing her?
2. What is the significance of a guest leaving the wedding?
TRUST/DISTRUST
1. Ryan has no reason to distrust anyone.
2. Isabella is so fearful that anyone might learn of her family history of mental illness, that she unthinkingly creates an aura of distrust around her.
3. Maximus is a forgotten entity, to begin with, but he is absolutely NOT to be trusted.
4. Silas’ innocent hit on Isabella, sets off a chain reaction of trust/distrust.
REVEALS
1. The revelation that Isabella and Silas have already met and know each other and that he’s already made a hit on Isabella.
a. How did it get covered up?
Isabella was afraid Ryan might take it the wrong way. So they pretended not to know each other.
b. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
Isabella’s guilt shows, and Ryan senses that something is off – being covered up.
c. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact.
It becomes a Trust/Distrust situation with a pending marriage at stake.
CLUES
a. Silas is a scientific equipment salesman who knows Ryan and Ryan’s wife-to-be, Isabella.
b. But Ryan doesn’t know this, yet. Why not?
c. What does this say about Silas? – About Isabella? – About Ryan?
MISDIRECTS
a. Isabella is getting married, but her knowing Silas raises questions that are easy to explain. However, her felt need to pretend otherwise raises more serious questions about her character. As these issues continue to surface, it further adds questions about her. Can we trust her?
INCITING EVENT:
MYSTERY
1. Does Silas actually know how to fly that helicopter?
2. Okay. Now they’re “here” [the starting point], now what?
3. Really, now. A paid gatekeeper to The Valley? Why?
DANGER
1. The helicopter decides to hiccup. Silas must fix it. Can he? Reliably?
2. The snake in the trail upsets Isabella.
3. Isabella’s fear of heights.
4. Isabella’s claustrophobia – rock fall?
5. What’s wrong with this woman? Is Ryan in trouble?
TRUST/DISTRUST
1. Ryan still has no reason to distrust anyone.
2. Isabella is surprised by Silas’ skill and trusts him.
REVEALS
1. The realization that the Troglodyte-like gatekeeper is, in fact, not real.
a. How did it get covered up?
He is a projected hologram that looks absolutely real.
b. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
When they return, he’s gone, along with his cabin. What happened to him? Where did he go? And the cabin? Who could have even set this up? Silas? Silas’ company – Jack Samuelson? Why?
c. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact.
Both Ryan and Isabella are left spellbound and fearful.
CLUES
a. Silas is a scientific equipment salesman who knows Ryan and Ryan’s wife-to-be, Isabella.
b. But Ryan doesn’t know this, yet. Why not?
c. What does this say about Silas? – About Isabella? – About Ryan?
MISDIRECTS – NONE
TURNING POINT 1:
MYSTERY
1. Nothing feels right. The gatekeeper was weird.
2. The cabin appears new, but it is made to look old.
3. Inside, the cabin is spooky: symbols, the diary….
3. Are they alone, or not? Ryan feels eyes on the back of his neck.
4. What has Silas gotten them into? His descriptions do not fit.
5. Why is Isabella so full of fears? Ryan wonders.
DANGER
1. Are they seeing danger or imagining it on their walk down Valley?
2. Ground fog moves in. Isabella’s fears get the best of her.
3. The night is filled with strange noises. Sleep is fitful.
TRUST/DISTRUST
1. Ryan has no reason to distrust anyone but begins questioning Silas, Jack, or maybe both.
2. Isabella’s hidden fear of Maximus (unexpressed) causes her to distrust Silas again (revealed later).
REVEALS
1. The entire cabin experience is something orchestrated to give one the “willies.” It’s a setup for what is to come, and the reveal comes when Isabella’s dead mother talks back to him, and he realizes she’s a hologram speaking for someone else.
a. How did it get covered up?
Someone was behind all this. A diary that mysteriously just ends? Where did they go? What happened?
b. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
Isabella is easily spooked. Ryan is already thinking outside the box, after the gate experience. He sees a possible connection and can’t help but voice concerns. Isabella’s life seems to be at stake.
c. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact.
It is profound enough to engage Ryan and get him thinking.
2. The realization that the “sightings” in the valley are being generated artificially.
a. How did it get covered up?
Someone set it up this way. Who?
b. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
Isabella was harmed at the gate. There is a progression, here, and it all seems to be aimed at Isabella’s unstable underpinnings. What is he not telling Ryan? How can he help her if she’s holding back? Who stands to gain? Silas? Is this some game that Silas and Isabella are playing on him? Why would she do this?
c. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact.
At first, the sightings are passed off as imagination, but the disappearance of the gatekeeper and Isabella’s being harmed develop into a pattern. Who would do this? Silas? His version of The Valley was totally different from what he and Isabella are experiencing. And it was Silas who encouraged this honeymoon.
3. The realization that they are trapped in The Valley and are in a life-and-death struggle for survival.
a. How did it get covered up?
Someone set it up this way. Who?
b. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
Isabella was harmed at the gate. There is a progression, here, and it all seems to be aimed at Isabella’s unstable underpinnings. What is he not telling Ryan? How can he help her if she’s holding back? Who stands to gain? Silas? Is this some game that Silas and Isabella are playing on him? Why would she do this?
c. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact.
The revelation (later) that Maximus may be involved takes Ryan to a new place with a new set of questions.
CLUES
a. Isabella thinks she sees a tiger. Ryan laughs it off until —
b. He imagines seeing an extinct Venezuelan dinosaur – a Carnotauras (meaning meat-eating bull).
c. Something does not feel real, and they speak of it.
d. The night is full of strange sounds: animal sounds, children laughing, children crying, creaks and groans in the cabin…. Are they real or just imagined?
MISDIRECTS
a. Silas (and/or his boss, Jack Samuelson) appears more and more to have something to do with what’s happening and becomes a solid Red Herring
MIDPOINT TWIST:
MYSTERY
1. The cabin is weird: the symbols, the book, the night sounds….
2. Isabella wants to leave. She is frightened. Ryan agrees.
DANGER
1. Isabella is struck unconscious at the gate – convulses.
2. Ryan is now frightened. Takes her back to the cabin.
3. Is she going to be okay? Or is this just the beginning?
TRUST/DISTRUST
1. Ryan distrusts Silas.
2. Isabella openly distrusts Silas – and uses Ryan’s distrust to avoid saying more.
REVEALS
1. The realization that the plan has just evolved from driving Isabella mad to killing both of them.
a. How did it get covered up?
Someone sinister set this up
b. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
Isabella is easily spooked. Ryan is already thinking outside the box, after the gate experience. He sees a possible connection and can’t help but voice concerns. Isabella’s life seems to be at stake, and he feels pressure to solve the mystery.
c. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact
Isabella’s life is clearly in Ryan’s hands, and he knows it.
2. The realization that Silas cannot be the villain. He is a Red Herring. Maybe the villain is Silas’ boss, Jack Samuelson?
a. How did it get covered up?
As with everything else, there is a clear plan at work, here, and whoever it is doing a good job of making it work.
b. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
If it was Silas, and he and Isabella had something to hide, why would he be doing this to her? Could it be Jack? It was Jake who Silas claims suggested The Valley and gave Silas the company helicopter to take them there.
c. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact.
Ryan no longer knows who to trust.
CLUES
e. On the second day, the gatekeeper AND his hut are gone.
f. Isabella is struck down when she tries to pass the imaginary gateway – she convulses. This is no imagination.
g. The Valley is nothing like Silas pictured it. Is he behind this?
MISDIRECTS — NONE
TURNING POINT 2:
MYSTERY
1. Night two in the cabin has both Isabella and Ryan spooked.
2. Who or what is doing this? For what reason? Silas? Silas boss?
3. Isabella’s mother [who is dead] appears — terrifies Isabella, and
4. She becomes Ryan’s first evidence of what might be happening.
DANGER
1. Isabella blames Silas – and thinks he’s blackmailing her.
2. Ryan at first goes along with her as his hit on her unfolds.
3. Isabella’s mother threatens her – and talks to her in the present.
4. Ryan finds this curious – realizes they’re being watched.
5. Isabella’s experience with Maximus unfolds.
6. Ryan realizes that the dangers are real.
TRUST/DISTRUST
1. Ryan’s distrust in Silas morphs into a distrust of virtually everyone, as Isabella begins to break down and reveal the truth about her mother and about Maximus’ blackmail.
2. Isabella also shifts from distrusting Silas to fearfully distrusting Maximus.
3. With nowhere else to go, Isabella finally puts all her faith in Ryan and agrees to his terrifying escape plan.
REVEALS
1. The realization that Silas cannot be the villain. He is a Red Herring. Maybe the villain is Silas’ boss, Jack Samuelson?
a. How did it get covered up?
Isabella did not want Ryan to know about Maximus because she did not want Maximus to reveal the secret about her mother’s mental illness. And that fear got passed along to Silas.
b. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
What is Isabella not telling Ryan that is allowing all this to happen?
c. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact.
Isabella is getting backed into a corner from which she cannot escape, and that’s more terrifying than everything else.
2. Ryan makes a connection between what Isabella tells him about what Maximus did to her and what is happening now. Maximus’ plan is obviously on-going.
a. How did it get covered up?
Isabella did not want Ryan to know about Maximus because she did not want Maximus to reveal the secret about her mother’s mental illness.
b. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
Maximus is clearly the one holding Isabella’s feet to the fire, and Ryan can’t help her until he knows the full truth. Maximus is all too happy to reveal Isabella’s mother.
c. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact.
The implication is that Isabella does not trust Ryan, and their marriage is already in ruins. It also suggests that Maximus has had absolute control over her all along, even though she thought she was free of him.
3. The realization that the plan has just evolved from driving Isabella mad to killing both of them.
a. How did it get covered up?
Isabella did not want Ryan to know about Maximus because she did not want Maximus to reveal the secret about her mother’s mental illness.
b. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
Ryan’s own life is now on the line, too. It’s time to think of his own self-preservation.
c. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact.
Ryan becomes hostile to Isabella for holding him in such dangerous contempt.
CLUES
a. Isabela comes off as fearful, and it seems to be coloring her whole life. Why?
b. Isabella does not lie about knowing Silas, but she tries to hide it. What else might she be hiding?
c. Lots of tiny clues: the snake, heights, claustrophobia, her reaction to pentagrams in the cabin….
d. And the diary that just ends abruptly….
e. Ryan is increasingly inclined to go along Isabella, especially when the ground fog appears.
f. Night two in the cabin becomes more and more intense: voices, doors opening and shutting, a chain dragging across the wood floor, whispers, and then ear-shattering silence. Nothing.
g. The sound of the front door opening – footsteps. Isabella’s dead mother appears in the bedroom doorway – and speaks to her.
h. Ryan doesn’t believe in ghosts and decides to engage Mother Lake with questions. She responds, in the present, to Ryan!
MISDIRECTS — NONE — Ryan is figuring it out.
CLIMAX:
MYSTERY
1. Ryan decides to test a theory….
2. How might Ryan beat Maximus at his own game?
3. Is everything being electronically orchestrated?
DANGER
1. Ryan assumes that Maximus is bent on killing them.
2. Ryan develops an escape plan, but…
3. The escape plan may be as dangerous as Maximus’ plan.
4. Ryan sets the cabin on fire, which spreads. They have no choice.
5. They must try the escape route.
TRUST/DISTRUST
1. Ryan’s success in getting Isabella to safety, together with his understanding of her mother and Maximus’ evil, affirms Bella’s faith in him.
2. Isabella’s tentative faith in Silas is also fully affirmed. He becomes a trusted friend, together with Ryan.
REVEALS
1. The revelation that Ryan fully understands the situation and must use every skill he knows to defeat Maximus and escape with Isabella. He burns the cabin to the ground, revealing all the electronics.
a. How did it get covered up?
Maximus rigged it that way.
b. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
They cannot leave The Valley in any ordinary way, so Ryan must know Maximus’ mind if he has any chance of survival.
c. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact.
Ryan plans to expose Maximus, challenge him to a duel to the death, and see what Isabella will do – trust him or not. Isabella is beyond terrified. She confesses all her fears and agrees to follow Ryan into Hell, if necessary.
2. The unintended consequences of the fire alerting the wilderness fire towers, alerts the press, Jack Samuelson, and Maximus, who never anticipated anything like this. Jack, Silas, Maximus, and a hoard of firefighters converge on The Valley, exposing everything.
a. How did it get covered up?
Maximus rigged it that way.
b. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
The reactions of Jack and Silas uncover Maximus’ use of Samuelson Scientific, a subsidiary of Maximus’ company, to lure Ryan and Isabella into The Valley, which he owns, so he could have his way with Isabella – and Ryan.
c. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact.
Maximus arrives, enraged. He manages to crash his helicopter, but escapes, threatening to kill all of them, shooting at them with his automatic weapon and screaming obscenities – until his helicopter explodes and the shrapnel kills him.
CLUES
a. Isabella, almost insane with fear, finally confesses to Maximus’ hold on her.
b. Ryan figures it out – all of it. They are being watched.
c. At first light, Ryan gathers forest wood, and, without speaking another word (and shushing Isabella), takes it into the cabin and sets it ablaze. As the cabin burns, it is revealed that it is filled with hidden electronics. Isabella’s fear is now gone; she agrees to trust Ryan and his plan.
MISDIRECTS — NONE
RESOLUTION:
MYSTERY
1. What will Ryan do, now?
2. How is he aware of what’s going on?
3. Silas and Jack have shown up, proclaiming themselves innocent.
4. The connection of Jack to Maximus has unraveled.
DANGER
1. Maximus shows up and crashes his helicopter but escapes unhurt.
2. He is enraged at the fire and threatens to kill everybody.
3. He is killed When his helicopter explodes, throwing shrapnel everywhere.
4. Ryan and Isabella’s marriage is up in the air. They pledge to focus on their strengths and forget the past.
TRUST/DISTRUST
1. Everyone’s distrust of Maximus is confirmed
2. Isabella and Ryan agree always to be truthful and trusting in the future – to have learned a vital lesson.
3. Ryan’s faith in Samuelson Scientific is reaffirmed.
REVEALS
1. Maximus’ true, selfish, feelings for Isabella are revealed when he threatens to kill her in cold blood, choosing to kill her narcissistically rather than to allow her to live her own life [as in the movie, Laura – Clifton Webb as Waldo Lydecker).
a. How did it get covered up?
Maximus orchestrated everything, creating fear, blackmail, and using friendships, all to cover his insane desire to possess Isabella for his own purposes.
b. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
Why would he do this?
c. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact.
Some questions can never be answered. They remain mysteries within mysteries.
CLUES
Isabella’s choice to risk it all by trusting Ryan is a good clue that they have established a workable trust in each other, and their marriage has been strengthened. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”
MISDIRECTS — NONE
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Diane Phelps’ misdirection’s, red herrings, and villain’s plan revisited.
What I learned is… Incorporating misdirection effectively in a thriller involves strategically leading the audience down false paths while maintaining the core narrative’s suspense. It adds complexity and surprise to the plot.
1. Check the use of misdirection:
A. The Red Herring character: The red herring character, Oliver Jenkins, is used effectively in the story. At first, his eccentricity and conspiracy theories make him appear unreliable, leading the audience to doubt his credibility. However, as the story unfolds, it becomes clear that his unconventional insights are valuable, making him a trustworthy ally. This misdirection keeps the audience guessing and adds depth to the plot.
B. The Villain’s plan: The villain, Mayor Evelyn Monroe’s plan, is presented as a cover for her sinister intentions. Initially, she appears as a respected figure in the community, concealing her true motives. As the story progresses, her involvement with the “Crystal Circle Club” is revealed, but her role is manipulated to appear as a mere puppet. This misdirection effectively obscures the true extent of her villainy, creating suspense and surprise.
C. The cover-up for each mystery presented as “Reality”: The cover-ups in the story are used to misdirect both the characters and the audience. For example, the murder mystery subplot from 20 years earlier is presented as a vengeful ghost story and a murder cover-up, diverting attention from the true supernatural energy source. This misdirection successfully conceals the core mystery and adds layers to the narrative.
2. Opportunities to add misdirection in the Thriller Map:
A. Clue Misdirection: Throughout the story, clues and information can be strategically presented to misdirect the characters and the audience. These misdirection’s can involve false leads, decoy clues, or partial revelations that create suspense and uncertainty.
B. Character Misdirection: Characters’ actions and motivations can be manipulated to misdirect the audience’s suspicions. Characters who initially appear untrustworthy may turn out to be allies, and seemingly reliable characters may have hidden agendas or loyalties that conflict with the protagonist’s goals.
C. Dialogue Misdirection: Dialogues and conversations among characters can be used to plant false information or create ambiguity. Characters may withhold key details, provide misleading explanations, or engage in cryptic conversations that lead the audience down false paths.
3. Adding misdirection to the Thriller Map:
Act 2: Confronting the Enigma
6. Secrets and Intrigue
– Mayor Monroe’s charismatic façade and her sinister intentions.
– Tension builds as Alex uncovers town secrets, but some information he uncovers is deliberately misleading, leading him to question the true nature of the supernatural energy source.
Act 3: The Unveiling
7. The Hidden Mastermind
– Deciphered coded messages narrow down suspects, but one of the key suspects cleverly plants false evidence to divert suspicion.
– Whistleblower exposes Mayor Monroe’s connection to the “Crystal Circle Club,” but the whistleblower’s identity is kept secret, creating uncertainty about their credibility.
8. Catastrophic Consequences
– Escalating natural disasters reveal energy source’s instability, but the characters initially misinterpret the cause, leading to false conclusions.
– Heroes confront looming catastrophe, but conflicting information creates tension and doubt among them.
9. The Shocking Revelation
– Alex confronts Mayor Monroe, exposing her true nature, but she attempts to mislead him with false information about her involvement in the society.
– Supernatural energy source’s devastating power threatens the town, but its true origin remains partially concealed until the climax.
4. What I learned is… Incorporating misdirection in a thriller not only adds suspense but also keeps the audience engaged by leading them down unexpected paths. It’s a powerful tool for building complexity and surprise in the narrative, making the eventual revelations all the more impactful.
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Gisele Frazeur Misdirects……When Appropriate! Assignment 13
What I learned doing this assignment is: All of the techniques previously learned inherently contain misdirects. Employing additional techniques should be used judiciously –to avoid giving the audience whiplash!
Opening: scene of a man having his pinkie toe cut off while he is being held down.
Cut to: A limping Leff-t is in seedy neighborhood in the dead of night. Passes substantial envelope of cash to someone and instructs them to “Get it done!”
Act 1: Renowned perfumer Darin August prepares to attend an awards ceremony with her pregnant sister, Livie Sanford. Pookie, her brother-in-law’s retired narcotic dog goes inexplicably berserk when she dons her violet perfume. The evening is rife with turmoil. Picketers block the entrance to the ceremonial hall. Darin receives threatening phone calls. At the reception someone chokes on an hors d’ oeuvres laced with a human toe which results in Darin performing an emergency tracheotomy on them. They are harassed again by protestors exiting the evening’s festivities.
Distrust: Leff-T has publicly called upon his followers to boycott Darin’s perfumes. His followers are fervently and not so peacefully protesting outside of her awards ceremony. This makes her distrust and suspect him.
Life threatening 1: Phone call to Darin.
Mystery 1: Who is making threats to Darin and why?
Distrust: Is Leff-T behind the phone calls as well?
Mystery 2: Why are people protesting Darin at the awards?
Life threatening 2: Laced hors d’oeuvres.
Mystery 3: Who wants to harm Livie and why?
Mystery 4: Whose toe is the meatball laced with?
Distrust: Is Leff-T responsible for the laced hors d’ oeuvres?
Twist 1: Something planned for doesn’t happen:
Direction: Hors d’oeuvres laced with toe is given to Livie by waiter.
Twist: Livie sneezes and puts plate down on adjacent table. Another guest picks up hors d’ oeuvres and commences choking on it.
Villains plan: To instill fear in Darin. To cast suspicion on Leff-T.
Inciting Incident: Upon returning home from the awards Darin is knocked unconscious and Livie is shot – -outside of Darin’s home.
Twist 2: It just got more dangerous.
Direction: Livie opens the door to let Pookie out to pee.
Twist: Armed assailants emerge from the home – – knocking Darin unconscious and shooting Livie.
Life threatening 3: Physical attack on Darin and Livie.
Mystery 5: Who is responsible for the attack?
Turning Point 1: While being treated at the hospital Darin learns of her pregnant sister’s death.
Mystery 6: Why would someone kill Livie?
Mystery 7: What is Leff-T’s beef with Darin – – and did he do it?
Distrust: Leff-T must be responsible in her mind. Nothing else makes sense.
Villain’s plan 2: To send a message to Hank to keep in line and compliant “or else”.
Act 2: Darin investigates Leff-T – – the man she suspects of her sister’s murder. He is a gangster, gone rapper, gone televangelist. She turned down a commission to make a celebrity fragrance for him. He had called upon his followers and parishioners to boycott her fragrances and the perfume house she works for. In a downward spiral she resumes drinking (she is a recovering alcoholic) and begins a sexual relationship with Livie’s husband, Hank Sanford. Pookie’s erratic behavior escalates. She attacks flowers sent in sympathy to the house. She digs up Darin’s flower beds.
Twist 3: A mistake returns to haunt them.
Direction: Darin arrives at her sister’s funeral to find paparazzi.
Twist: They inform her she is suspect – – that her juvie record has been leaked to the press – and ask why she killed her stepfather.
Mystery 8: Darin’s mother refers to Darin having killed her husband. What is the story here?
Distrust: Because of the past – – Darin’s mom really believes that Darin might be responsible for Livie’s death.
Distrust: Is Darin’s mom so spiteful she leaked Darin’s juvie record to the police as revenge?
Mystery 9: How was Darin’s juvie record unsealed?
Mystery 10: Who leaked her juvie record to the press?
Trust: Hank – – like a knight in shining armor- – comes to Darin’s rescue and defense when her mom attacks her at Livie’s funeral.
Life Threatening 4: Anonymous death threat mailed to Darin’s home.
Trust: Hank tells Darin to keep Pookie for protection and presents her with a gun for the selfsame purpose. Makes her feel looked out for and protected.
Mystery11: Who sent it?
Mystery 12: Who wants her dead.
Mystery 13: Why has Hank really encouraged her to resume drinking – – as he knows she battles with alcoholism?
Mystery14: Why would Hank have sex with his recently deceased, pregnant wife’s sister? Seems ice cold and heartless.
Distrust: Darin awakens ashamed for having imbibed and having slept with Hank. This creates distrust for him.
Life threatening 5: Leff-T is surveilling Darin.
Mystery 15: Who leaked photos of her drunk to the press and her boss?
Distrust: More chaos being created for her behind the scenes. As boycott continues – – she still suspects Leff-T.
Misdirect: Clue Misdirection: Clue that sends us to another Red Herring. Learning that Darin murdered her stepfather in her youth creates potential for a new Red Herring. Could our hero be the killer?
Villain’s plan 3: To keep Darin off balance – therefore malleable and manipulatable.
Turning Point 2: Leff-T is cleared as a suspect.
Twist 4: We see an unexpected side of someone.
Direction: Darin has gone to Leff-T’s house – – drunk and brandishing a firearm. She shoots at the exterior of his home and security cameras. She ultimately passes out outside of his house on the sidewalk.
Twist: Leff-T see this on the security camera and tells his security guard he will “take care of it.” He carries her in the house and puts her to bed, tucks her in, and gives Pookie a chew toy.
Twist 5: We see an unexpected side of someone.
Direction: Darin awakens at home after blackout at Leff-T’s the night before. She is in a blind panic. Does not know how she got there. Cup of piping hot coffee on table next to her. Is someone else in her home?
Twist: She finds a note left by Leff-T telling her to watch the news at 11AM. He has also left some dog toys for Pookie. She watches the news conference. Leff-T has been cleared as a suspect. He gives a public apology to Darin for the boycott and asks his followers to stand down.
Trust: Leff-T brought her home safely. He was exonerated. He publicly apologizes to her on TV and calls for his followers to stand down.
Life threatening 6: The real killer is still out there.
Mystery 16: Who is the real killer?
Act 3: Darin gets back on the wagon. After receiving intel from Leff-T indicating suspicious activity on the part of her narcotics officer brother-in-law, Hank Sanford, she begins investigating Hank. She enlists the aid of her friend, Dharma to aid in the investigation. Dharma trains dogs and thinks Pookie’s strange behavior might be the key. Darin takes Pookie to the vet only to find out Hank had lied to her and Pookie has no health problems which would have forced her retirement.
Mystery 17: What is Pookie – – Hank’s retired narcotics dog – – attempting to communicate to Darin?
Mystery 18: Why is Hank so vehemently opposed to Darin’s burgeoning friendship with Leff-T – even though Leff-T has been cleared?
Distrust: Darin is suspicious of Hank’s continued finger pointing at Leff-T – – after he has been exonerated…..and she has been speaking to and researching Leff-T – – and believes in his innocence.
Twist 6: A lie is uncovered.
Direction: Darin puts on a sweater of Livie’s to comfort herself.
Twist: She finds the business card of a divorce attorney in the pocket of Livie’s sweater.
Life Threatening 7: Someone leaves poison out for Pookie. Darin smells poison and averts crises.
Mystery 19: What does Pookie know that has someone gunning for her?
Mystery 20: Who is behind trying to poison Pookie?
Life Threatening 8: Officer who has agreed to meet with Darin and Dharma to discuss circumstances of Pookie’s failed drug bust and subsequent termination – – is murdered.
Mystery 21: Who killed the narcotic’s officer and why?
Mystery 22: What has Pookie so agitated when Darin and Dharma run scenting tests on her?
Twist 7: Secret identity uncovered.
Direction: Hank tells his colleague he is going to meet with an informant.
Twist: The man waiting for him in the car is no informant. It is a drug lord. He has been blackmailing Hank.
Twist 8: The worst possible thing happens.
Direction: Darin has been throwing up. She thinks she has been withdrawing from alcohol.
Twist: She finds out she is pregnant with Hank’s child
Distrust: Darin confronts Hank about the card of divorce lawyer she found in Livie’s sweater. Hank says Livie had been having an affair. Darin does not believe this. Distrusts him.
Misdirect: Clue Misdirection: Misinterpreted Clue. Leff-T surveils Darin from a far under cover of night. We question if his exoneration is a mistake. We fear he is stalking her when he is, in fact, trying to protect her.
Villain’s plan 4: To keep Darin off his scent.
Turning Point 3: Dharma has requested a meet-up with Darin because she has important intel to share. She overdoses at the restaurant while waiting for Darin to show.
Life threatening 9: Dharma being overdosed.
Mystery 23: Who overdosed Dharma and why?
Distrust: Darin distrusts Hank because Dharma was going to tell her something about Hank.
Twist 9: A new problem occurs.
Direction: Darin goes to restaurant to meet Dharma. Dharma has summoned her with the promise of useful intel.
Twist: Dharma is being wheeled out on a stretcher to an ambulance upon Darin’s arrival. She is informed Dharma (a recovering addict) has overdosed.
Villain’s plan 6: To keep Darin from learning the truth of his guilt.
Leff-T and Darin pour through Dharma’s notebook. They discover a note on doe estrus being used to throw off scenting dogs at drug busts. The answers begin coming into focus as to what Hank might have been up to.
Act 4: Darin figures it out.
Mystery 24: Why does Hank sleep with his socks on?
Mystery 25: What is it about violets that makes Pookie go Berserk?
Twist 10: A trust is violated. A lie is uncovered.
Direction: Darin goes to Hank’s house to get information from him. She brings booze, gets him drunk and snoops around his house. She has been drinking iced tea from a whisky bottle. She lures him into a conversation about civetone making dogs go nuts. She discovers his bloody left socks after rummaging through his hamper. She sneaks out – – having accidentally left the bottle of iced tea behind in the bathroom. She goes to her lab and replaces the civetone with another chemical. She calls up Leff-T and agrees to meet him at her house to share all she has learned before they go to the police.
Twist: Hank awakens thinking she is back under his control……only to discover there is iced tea in the booze bottle from which she had been drinking. He also discovers she went through his dirty laundry and has discovered the bloody socks. Hank breaks into Darin’s lab and steals the bottle marked as civetone.
Distrust: Darin has conned him. He knows she is on to him.
Life Threatening 10: Hank and his new dog go to a drug bust at the airport. He sprays his dog’s leash with what he thinks is civetone. The dog successfully scents drugs being transported anyway. He has failed. He sees one of the drug lord’s henchmen there. He knows he is a dead man. He flees home. Packs. Get money and guns from his safe and heads to Darin’s to tie up loose ends before he leaves.
Twist 11: It just got more dangerous. Secret identity uncovered.
Direction: Darin and Leff-T have agreed to meet at her house to share intel and formulate a gameplan.
Twist 12: She arrives to find Leff-T being held hostage by a crazed and drunken Hank.
Climax: Upon arrival at her home Darin discovers that Leff-T has been kidnapped by Hank. Darin confronts Hank with what she knows about him using scientific information he has been gleaning from her to make his narcotics dog fail to scent contraband at potential drug busts. Darin buys them time by confessing she is pregnant with Hank’s child. Hank confesses everything. Decides he will bring Darin on the run with him. A shoot out ensues. Hank is shot by Leff-T.
Life threatening 11: Hank finds Leff-T at Darin’s house. Holds him hostage. Uses him as bait to get Darin.
Mystery 26: What was Hank’s role in Livie’s death?
Life threatening 11: Hank prepares to kill Darin.
Life threatening 12: Hank pushes Leff-t – – who is tied to a chair – – in the pool to drown.
Trust: Leff-T saves Darin
Villain’s plan 7: To escape the drug lords coming to kill him. To tie up loose ends.
Resolution: Leff-T, Darin’s baby (Livie), and Dharma attend the FiFi Awards (perfume industry) with Darin. She dedicates her award to her deceased sister and informs the audience of newest release: a fragrance created for Leff-T’s non-for-profit benefiting reformed gang members and their families.
Twist 12: New options emerge.
Direction: Leff-T attends awards ceremony with Darin’s baby girl in tow.
Twist: Leff-T and Darin are now a couple. She kept Hank’s baby and is married to Leff-T.
Trust: Leff-T and Darin are now married. Clearly, they trust one another. He is raising her baby with Hank.
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Brenda Clarke MISDIRECTING YOUR AUDIENCE
I’m learning that I already had a few Misdirections in the outline. However, by breaking them up into these various categories I was able to clarify the ones I already had and was able to add a few new ones. Some of my previous Truths & Betrayals have also had clarity and I’ve been able to add them in as well:)
I am probably going to need assistance in the exchanges as some of the REVEALS at the end are a bit lame. 🙏
NEW THRILLER MAP
Act 1. Opening: Daughter gives a Yoga class out on lawn beside beach, in Australia. Later at home she witnesses her mother (who lives in China) being abducted by 3 Asian men whilst on a video chat with her.
She calls her father, he is not answering his phone. Father’s office has been trashed.DANGER: Life Threatening: Are they going to kill her mother?
INTRIGUE: Why would these strange men abduct her mother? Where is her father? VILLAINS PLAN: Abduct the wife and torture her for information to the whereabouts of her husband.Act 2. Inciting Incident: She now has to uncover the truth and rescue her mother.
Daughter rings her ex Martial Arts instructor and shows her the picture of man’s dragon tattoo. MA informs her that the men are soldiers of the Chinese Triads, who happen to operate both in Melbourne Australia/Macau China. She says that daughter must find out more information about them from her end.
Daughter realizes she needs to go deeper into the criminal underworld to find her parents. She goes undercover to Casino to seek out leads.
The daughter opens a package, takes out small electronic devise, places battery in the back and connects the device to her smart phone.
Life Threatening: She puts herself at risk should she be discovered by Triads
MYSTERY: Who are these men and what do they want with her mother? Why hasn’t she heard back from her father?
VILLAINS PLAN: Track down John and slowly torture him to death (for revenge of his father’s murder.) This is the COVER UP.
At the Casino, she sees a Chinese Guard standing outside a door. She buys a drink at the bar goes to ladies toilets. Inside she rinses mouth out with alcohol, splashes the rest over her hair/clothes. She wets her face, so eye make-up runs, she dishevels her hair.
Watches guard till he leaves, she enters room, looking for answers sees the newspaper on desk with article:-
she finds “The Corporation” have been dealing in shipments of Heroin and a large container was seized a few weeks ago by the Australian authorities.
Someone suddenly enters room; she acts drunk and complains the Casino has robbed her of her money, whilst they try to remove her she quickly tucks the listening devise underneath a desk. They remove her.
Later in the carpark, she hears their conversation:
The Corporation are trying to track down their informer and are searching for them both in Australia and in China to assist investigation. About cop in China who could have betrayed The Corporation? Who is he? Why would he do this? Red Herring Character? MISDIRECTION.Act 3. Turning Point: Mother taped to a chair, her hands also taped. She is slapped/punched about by Triad Soldier, she doesn’t know where her husband is. He hasn’t been home for three days, he said he was “out of town on business”. She is in pain and stressed, frightened for her life.
Soldier believes her, he throws her a bottle of water, he takes out mobile phone, walks away (as he dials “I believe her, she doesn’t know anything”.)
INTRIGUE: Why are they punishing her if she doesn’t know anything?
SUSPENSE: are they going to kill her?MYSTERY: Who are they? Why do they want the father/husband? Who is he talking to on the phone?
MA instructor with this new information says she must come ASAP to China to further her investigations. On flight daughter looks into Chinese Triad gangs on her lap top.
Life Threatening: She feels she is not up for it, ex teacher re assures her, she must dig deep to find her “Fighting Warrior”, fight to survive.
Introduce “The Dragon”: He arrives in smart black new Mercedes, he goes into office, Soldier accompanies him. Chinese Policeman, (Red Herring?) waiting outside is ushered in: The Dragon Accuses Policeman of informing authorities, re seizure of Heroin in Australia, he pulls a gun on him, The Corporation in Australia are furious, millions of dollars lost. Policeman says he is innocent, why would he? He is getting rich on assisting the Triads with these shipments. Dragon shows him a picture of father/husband, he is of interest (in his fathers death), perhaps he has something to do with seizure as he was in Australia at the time. The Dragon, informs him this is his last chance. Cop looks guilty – I’ll find him, he leaves.Phone rings, Dragon answers, any updates? (Triad with Mother: “I believe her, she doesn’t know anything”.)
Furious, he throws a giant pop-plant at his soldier, which smashes against the wall. (Says he knows this is his father’s “fucking killer”) they must find him or else they will kill his wife/ even put a bullet through his soldiers’ head.VILLAINS PLAN: To find the hiding place of John, abduct and torture him.
Triad Soldiers interrogate mother about the whereabouts of her husband. She doesn’t know anything and says he is away “on business”. Somehow the father is involved with the Triads.INTRIGUE: Daughter whilst searching through fathers wrecked office, picks up broken picture frame: image of father/mother/daughter (her at young age) she finds father’s secret journal with information regarding, The Corporation and their involvement with shipping Heroin into Australia. Lists of shipping details: names/dates/cargo container numbers etc. Also with various photographs of Triad tattoos, stuck in book.
SUSPENSE: When she leaves the office she realises that someone is tailing her, he catches up to her and starts to fight. She fights back, he collapses and she escapes.
MYSTERY/REVEAL: We find out that the daughter is a champion Martial Arts Practitioner. Daughter decides to hide this new bit of evidence from her MAI as she is not sure if she can be trusted.MYSTERY: Why does her father have such a journal with this information that makes no sense to her. Will she find clues to help find her mother? What is her father up to and why is he in hiding? She is being followed, who is following her and what are they after?
Act 4. Midpoint:
MAI finds a location of where some of the Triad soldiers hang out. How did MAI know about this bar? The daughter not sure if she can trust the MAI, what other secrets is she keeping from her? The daughter confronts her mentor, “is she a double agent and actually works for the Triads? The daughter questions MAI motives, she is not sure if she can be trusted The MAI reveals that knows someone with shady past, with Triad criminal activities and that this is where he sometimes hangs out. CHARACTER MISDIRECTION
The Daughter goes to the bar by herself (as MAI may be recognised if she goes there), where she has to seek out information where they may be holding her mother. Daughter hears of a shabby hotel, where the men visit prostitutes (nearby where they may have her mother held captive).
ABANDONED ROOM; Shady part of town: The father/husband quickly throws some clothes/belongings into a backpack. He removes a secret panel behind bathroom vanity mirror, pulls out bundles of cash, several passports and throws them into bag. He puts on jacket and cap He hears footsteps approach down hallway, he quickly darts out through a window, down a fire escape and hurries down a back alley. (Red Herring MISDIRECTION)
Life Threatening: She is exposing herself once in the company of these underworld soldiers. MYSTERY: Who are these men and what do they want with her mother?
VILLAINS PLAN: Soldiers capture John and take him to the Dragon, in an abandoned warehouse.
The father runs through the streets, he is abducted by Triad Soldiers and thrown into the back of a van, The Bent Cop is present dishes out the orders. Van drives off.Act 5. Turning Point: MA and daughter track mothers mobile phone to the last pin point before her phone was switched off. Her and MA Instructor find the location of a small hotel where the mother is being held, fight the soldiers who have weapons and rescue her. Fight Sequence. Life Threatening: two women outnumbered by six men.
MYSTERY: Mother explains, they are after information about her husband/father. WHY? What is going on?
VILLAINS PLAN: He is informed that the daughter is after him, he now orders his soldiers to kill her.Mother now distrusts her husband, she reveals that he is often away “on business” and she sometimes doesn’t hear from him for days – she suspected at first that he was being unfaithful, but now realises that he is a liar and a common criminal not to be trusted. (red Herring)DIALOGUE MISDIRECTION.
The Dragon questions an opposing Triad leader to see if they informed the Australian authorities about the Heroin shipment – he denies it – Dragon shoots him in the head, quickly escapes detection. He now gets one of his soldiers (computer tech) to leave “video evidence” that the father/husband was in the location at the time of the shooting. This incriminates John to this murder. The Dragon uses this to manipulate the police and distance himself from the crimes. He establishes false alibis for the Murder of Triad Leader, to put the police off track.
Daughter says she is going somewhere, to follow up on a lead. MAI now suspicious of daughter, as she is not telling her everything. MISTRUST. Mother warns her to be careful. She goes to tattoo shop, to find out if someone can identify the tattoo photographs.
Worker identifies tattoo and says he is one of the soldiers of Triad gang, but if she wants to know who the leader of the gang is she has to pay up. She hands him money, he shows her back photographs of “Mogwai” Monster/evil spirit/devil/demons which inflict harm on humans. He doesn’t know his real name but is known simply as “The Dragon”. She takes photo and leaves.Intrigue: A rather suspect tattoo parlour with suspect characters Suspense: Is this the man who is after her and her family? Mystery: Who is this man, what is his name?
Act 6. Turning Point: Father/husband now held hostage in an abandoned warehouse, is interrogated by The Dragon. (as he is simply a business man dealing with a very legitimate import/export business. (Beside he can prove he was in Australia at the time). The father lies. DIALGOUE MISDIRECTION
Dragon says why he is really being held captive, he’s not worried about shipment – he can send another later. But he has knowledge that he killed his father, many years ago! The father denies killing Dragon’s father, never knew or even met him, he states he is innocent and they have the wrong man,) REVEAL
The Dragon is informed by one of his soldiers that the Daughter/MA rescued the mother, he now instructs his solders to kill them. They continue to torture father who still refuses to give them the answers they are after. NO DON’T HURT MY FAMILY. You can do anything to me but leave them out of this!
VILLAINS PLAN: As the father, no longer giving him what he wants, he decides to take John and move him to another location, to a very remote location where the daughter will never find them and he can eventually kill father/husband. This is very difficult as John now has severe injuries, leaves a trail of blood. (he gets soldiers to untie the almost unconscious father, throw him into back of van) Soldier drives off with The Dragon sitting beside him).
Daughter/MA, help mother recoup. They see a NEWS Bulletin with Interview of Bent Cop, where her father is implicated in the murder of an opposing Triad gang Leader (compromised video from The Dragon) and is in hiding from the Chinese Authorities. Mother’s suspicions now confirmed, daughter can’t believe what her father is involved in, MAI non-committal. MISDRECTION/CHARACTER/DIALOGUE
MAI has secret meeting with a stranger (young man who is her nephew) in Dark Laneway, he passes her a note, she gives him a bundle of cash tied with elastic band.
INTRIGUE: who is this young man?
SUSPENSE: Is MAI involved with Triads?MYSTERY: Is she good and can be trusted? Or is she Bad and be avoided at all costs? TRUST
LATER: MAI hands daughter an address, “What’s this”, it came from my informer. I asked him to keep an ear open for me. He says they have your father held there. She grabs note and quickly leaves.
Daughter goes to warehouse and sees her father’s blood, she follows the blood trials that go outside into the street and suddenly stop, she doesn’t know what to do?The Daughter informs MA/mother where trial of blood was heading on the main road, must have escaped via car. INTRIGUE: Has she hit a dead end? SUSPENSE: Will she find her father alive? MYSTER: Where have they taken him?
She decides to go back to the bar to see if she can get any more leads (secretly wants to find out about “The Dragon”.
Act 7. Climax:.
She drives up to bar, before she is able to get off her bike, (just removes helmet) is chased away by Triad on his motor bike. MOTOR BIKE CHASE. He crashes, badly injured, she takes off his helmet, sees that it is MAI nephew! She hears him whisper “shan” but doesn’t know what it means (mountain) then “sorry Aunty” – he dies, she quickly leaves the scene of the accident.Life Threatening: She now knows the Triads are onto her
MYSTERY: How is she going to rescue her father without the Triads finding her first?
Did her father really commit this recent murder? Can she trust her father?
Daughter confesses to MAI about the death of her nephew, which she is very sorry for. Reveals “Shan” MAI says it means “Mountain” they don’t know what it means. REVEAL MAI can be trusted. CHARACTER MISDIRECTIONDaughter shares “The Dragon” name/photograph given to her by tattoo artist, MA googles The Dragons real name and searches his family history. She finds the grandfathers original home up in the mountains. Nephew was trying to help them with a clue, MAI cries for her nephew, know that he wasn’t a bad person after all.
The Daughter wants MA to stay and protect her mother, that she must do this herself.
The Dragon fists bloodied, father/husband almost unconscious. The daughter travels up into the Mountains, to his grandfather’s home in a small isolated village. She kills the guard outside the home and then kills the second soldier inside the home who happens to be the Bent Cop, before she finally confronts the Villain.
A fight to the death ensues, he dies. She rescues her father and reunites him with his wife/mother.
Life Threatening: Fight to the death
MYSTERY: Why is the Villain after John?VILLAINS PLAN: Slowly torture John to death as he killed his father.
Act 8. Resolution: The family are reunited with MA.
The Father explains his innocence in the Triad murder and says he was set up by the Dragon/Bent Cop (who was onto him and perhaps his undercover Identity) REVEAL TRUTH. BUT reveals he is an undercover agent (CIA operative) who has been working to arrest/destroy The Corporation with regards to them trafficking Heroin from China into Australia.
Daughter gives father his journal, he is grateful as this is evidence he has to hand in for his report.
He also reveals years ago, in the line of duty shot The Dragons father. (maybe flashback?)
He also exposed the Heroin shipment to Australia, as he was following leads from a police informant, which is why all of a sudden the Corporation were desperate to seek out and track their informer down. Father suggests feedback Bent Cop was the informer to the Corporation in Australia, MAI reveals her nephew, was trying to help her he was a good person. Father/husband agrees, so as not to blow his cover. CHARACTER MISDIRECTION SET-UPMA reveals that many years ago when her father first came to China that she was one of his informants and has been helping him with his cases, ever since. REVEAL CHARACTER MISDIRECTION
The daughter now faces the aftermath of her ordeal and the challenges of rebuilding her life with her family.
MYSTERY: Does the daughter go back to being a Yoga Instructor or does she go on a different path? Join her father in becoming a spy?
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Jamie Stegner – Misdirect
What I learned: Use misdirect sparingly. Be careful not to confuse reader and audience. If all other Thriller components are in place, just a drop is needed. Be sure that the reveal is strong and clear.
I have just one instance of deliberate misdirect:
Mother in the house alone, dressed for a party but no one is there. She speaks to the portrait over the fireplace.
“They’ll come! and they’ll stay!! They’ll stay for the money.”
There is no money, but audience and characters believe there is until almost the end. Mother speaks with assurance when she knows there is no money to be found. The hero is horrified to learn that she has been so deceived by one she knows plays these kinds of tricks. It’s too late, the deaths are set up and fire rapidly.
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Kelly Misdirects when appropriate
What I learned? I learned that misdirection is really cool but I have to use it sparingly. In my Thriller map I was able to add 3 character misdirection.
Character presented as one thing, but turns out to be another.
Julian the Journalist seems to be one thing but turns out to be a pawn.
Ryan, a person she thought she could trust, tells the government agents that she is a hacker.
Brooks the special agent seems to be a person she obviously can’t trust but she does trust him and he becomes an ally.
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Tim Barley Misdirects… When Appropriate!
What I learned from doing this is that I have a LOT of misdirect already. This could be good or bad, not sure yet. But, I found a few spots to add some dialogue misdirect, which, as a psychological/action thriller, may be worth adding more and more.
Effective use so far
The Red Herring: Griffin’s desire to be a mentee of The Courier has him around a lot, and most times when something happens, it points to him as the cause. He wants to help, but not seem to eager, which causes him to shy away from explaining what he was/is doing
The Villain’s Plan: Nocturne has hired an ex-partner and friend of The Courier to do his bidding to try and stop The Courier from completing the delivery.
Mystery Cover-ups:
The following has been added to the Thriller Map as “cover up:”
In their first and only meeting, Nocturne tells The Courier that “they have that one thing they both wish they could change, don’t we?”
New/Added misdirection:
Dialogue misdirection: Cruz tells The Courier that he’s always been good at making extra on every job. When The Courier tells him that’s why they aren’t partners anymore, Cruz says that he’s learned his lesson about double dealing, misdirecting us to think he’s a good guy.
Character misdirection: when The Courier and Astra are taken into custody, they see Griffin leaving the scene, thinking he had something to do with it. But, later learn that he was going to try to help them, but decided to wait until later.
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Barbe Misdirects…When Appropriate!
What I learned was that there is a fair amount of misdirection throughout the map. The exercise did give me the opportunity to dig a bit deeper into the motives of one character, David, the police detective, in particular. That fits neatly into the Map.
Already in place
A. The Red Herring character: Max Middleton
Ø Lies about who he is, his past, working for Volkov, purchasing the manuscript, knowing the dead thief in the alley.
B. The Villain’s plan: Sergei Volkov
Ø Co-opts Max into being his agent and purchasing the manuscript.
C. The cover-up for each mystery presented as “Reality.”
The Mysteries:
· Why did Max really shoot the intruder?
o Nobody knows that Max and the intruder were partners in the FBI.
· What is Max hiding?
o Max is secretly working for Volkov.
· Who is Volkov?
o Volkov hides in the shadows. He sends his thugs to do his work.
· Why does Volkov need the manuscript?
o Only Volkov knows the life-threatening stakes involved in disappointing a powerful Russian oligarch.
NEW
Character Misdirection
I’m not sure if “withholding” could be considered “misdirection” by a character, but David, the police detective, withholds information from his mother, Matty Holmes and the rest of the Mavens. This isn’t a matter of Trust/Distrust. The character puts on a false front almost to the point of being accused of malfeasance. It is all to protect Max Middleton, his main witness.
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Subject: Monica’s Misdirects…When Appropriate!
What I learned doing this assignment is another layer to add to your thriller to make the script amazing. All will be revealed in my thriller map!
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Michael Harris – Misdirects…When Appropriate!
What I learned is… that thinking about small ways to misdirect the audience and often add a new layer to the screenplay but it can also reveal new understanding to the story for the writer himself.
INTEGRATION OF MISDIRECTS INTO THRILLER MAP FOR “SIMON SEES”
Opening: A young boy (Simon) asleep behind a sofa tosses as images flash in his mind.
· Life Threatening # 1 – Simon’s dreams or visions are turbulent; he sees his foster mother kill his foster father with a knife.
· Mystery # 1 – Who is this boy?
· Mystery # 2 – Are Simon’s dreams shades of the past, visions of the future or a psychotic episode?
· Mystery # 3 – A button drops at the foot of a casket and a woman’s face. What’s that all about? And who is she?
Clue # 1 – Simon sees her face in a dream and then meets a stranger (Elise) in the cemetery and gives her a button.
Clue # 2 – Dr. Whitcombe’s face can be seen through the window of Debra Daniels car.
· Clue # 3 – Simon’s introductory dream. He sees his mother on the night she disappears and hears the sound of a bat hitting something, “like a pumpkin or a skull.”
Inciting Incident: Simon awakens to a heated argument between his foster parents and believes his vision of an impending murder to be true. On the way to school he calls his case worker and asks to be removed from the home.
· Reveal # 1 – The same button we saw lies on a makeshift table beside Simon’s bed.
· Life Threatening # 2 – Caught in the middle of his foster parents’ argument he has a plate thrown at him and witnesses a death threat to his foster father.
· Reveal # 2 – Mr. Mabree is the person being killed in Simon’s dream. And it’s his wife’s voice we heard. They are at odds.
· Mystery # 4 – Is Simon’s vision real? Will Mrs. Malbree, the foster mother really follow-through and kill her husband?
· Mystery # 5 – Why does Simon steal a cell phone on his way out of the house?
· Mystery # 6 – Will Simon be placed in a new home? What will that look like… previous homes have not been good.
· Life Threatening # 3 – Simon steps in front of Elise’s car. She has to brake-hard to avoid hitting him.
· Mystery # 7 – Why does Simon meet Elise at the cemetery?
· Mystery # 8 – What’s up with the button?
· Elise/Simon: Trust: He’s a mild-mannered little kid.
· Elise/Simon: Distrust: He startles her and thrusts a button in her face.
· Reveal # 3 – The dead woman wanted Elise to have the button.
· Twist # 1 – Elise meets Kevin at a restaurant where he has planned an elaborate wedding proposal, but she surprises him first by announcing that she is getting her first foster child, “tomorrow.”
· Reveal # 3 – Elise wants to foster; Kevin doesn’t think that’s a good idea.
· Clue # 4 – Elise wants a child. Kevin, “There are easier ways to get them.”
· Reveal # 4 – Elise thinks she’s getting a girl.
· Elise/Simon: Distrust: Kevin briefs her on how much baggage foster kids can carry.
· New Direction: Kevin expects to propose and instead finds himself competing. Elise withdraws even more.
· Mystery # 8a – Will Kevin accept a foster child into his relationship with Elise?
· Twist # 2 – Elise expects to be getting a girl foster child and instead gets Simon.
· Reveal # 5 – Turns out Simon (the boy from the cemetery) is Elise’s new foster child.
· New Direction: Elise had expected a girl child, all the preparations were for a girl and most importantly her mindset was for getting a girl.
· Clue # 5 – Simon becomes Elise’s emergency foster child.
Turning Point 1: Simon “sees” the man who knows what became of his mother.
· Simon sees visions. Because of this he has been rejected by other foster families.
· Simon/Dr. Whitcombe: Distrust: Simon first sees Whitcombe (whose name he does not know at the time) in a vision. Trust: He hopes Whitcombe will be able to help him find his mother and therefore he trusts or at least hopes Whitcombe is the answer to his quest.
· Simon/Elise: Trust: Elise is his last hope of locating his mother.
·
· Simon/Elise: Distrust: She seems more intent on doing what she wants rather than what he wants even after asking what he wants to do.
· Reveal/Misdirect: (Cut to TV and pull out.) Simon sees “the man” Whitcombe and the building from his visions on television, the announcer is talking about Whitcombe’s many accomplishments. It’s a special news segment, playing on TV screens in the food court at the mall. Simon recognizes the man and the building (Tommy’s Hope) but Elise is too distracted thinking of what they need to do next, to notice.
· Simon tries to explain. “It’s him…. It’s the man, … segment cuts as Elise turns/
Clue # 6 – Simon convinces Elise to look for “the man”
· Elise/Simon: Trust: She takes him driving to look for the building and the man.
· Simon/Elise: Distrust: She is skeptical when he reveals his gift.
· Elise/Simon: Trust: She helps him find the big building.
· Elise/Simon: Trust: She goes inside with him and inquires about the man of Simon’s vision.
· Elise/Simon: Distrust: She can’t fully accept his visions.
· Elise/Simon: Trust: The heart is willing to accept him but her insecurities for the moment rule.
· Villain’s Plan # 1 – After losing his wife in a car crash two years ago, Dr. Whitcombe, a well-respected expert in organ transplantation vowed to keep his son alive by any means possible, including organ transplants and murder.
· Villain’s Plan # 2 – Whitcombe created a nursing facility for young patients with life threatening conditions. They are also a ready source of organs for his son who has since the accident been presumed dead.
· Villain’s Plan # 3 – Simon’s mother, Debra Daniels worked for Whitcombe prior to the accident. When she bulked at Whitcombe’s proposal to transplant one of Simon’s organs into Tommy (Whitcombe’s son) and threatened to go to the authorities, Whitcombe killed her.
· Villain’s Plan # 4 – Simon was there on the fatal night but escaped. Simon has recently “seen” Whitcombe in vision and knows he knows what happened to his mother.
· Mystery # 9 – Who is this man (Dr. Whitcombe) Simon “sees” in vision?
· Life Threatening # 4 – Does the man pose a danger to Simon?
· Mystery # 10 – Will Elise accept Simon’s visions as real and help him find the man?
· Life Threatening # 5 – Will Elise reject Simon and send him packing?
· Mystery # 11 – Where is the Building Simon saw and what is inside?
· Mystery # 12 – Why are the patients in “Tommy’s Hope” so young?
· Mystery # 13 – Who is Dr. Whitcombe?
· Villain’s Plan # 5 – When Simon & Elise show up asking questions at the nursing home Whitcombe’s plan is threatened.
· Reveal # 6 – The man of Simon’s dreams is Dr. Whitcombe, the founder of “Tommy’s Hope,” the nursing home.
· Reveal # 7 – Whitcombe is a doctor, a decorated surgeon. When his wife and some were killed, he pulled back from his profession and started a nursing home specializing in help for special needs kids.
· Clue # 7 – Young nursing home patients.
· Reveal # 8 – Simon’s mother’s picture is in Nurse Hanes office.
· Mystery # 14 – Why is Simon’s mother in a picture in Nurse Hanes office?
· Clue # 8 – Nurse Hanes shares Whitcombe’s history as a respected Surgeon.
· Twist # 3 – Simon’s mom worked for Dr. Whitcombe.
· New Direction: Simon and Elise think they will find information about Whitcombe, which they do, but it turns on them when they find that Simon’s mother was a part of the operation.
· Reveal # 9 – The basement has many secrets. Answers to many of Simon’s questions are hidden in the basement and subbasements of Tommy’s Hope.
· Mystery # 15 – What secrets does the sub-basement hide? What are these writhing bodies Simon sees as he walks through?
· Life Threatening # 6 – Do the phantoms of the past pose a threat to Simon and Elise?
· Simon/Dr. Whitcombe: Distrust: On first meeting, though Dr. Whitcombe appears accommodating there is a recognition between he and Simon that alerts Simon to potential danger.
· Reveal # 10: So this is Dr. Whitcombe.
Clue # 9 – Whitcombe is handing off a mysterious red and white cooler with a strange symbol on it to a courier.
· Mystery # 16 – What was in the cooler Dr. Whitcombe passes to the courier?
· Reveal # 11: A marking on the case that Whitcombe gives to the courier.
· Life Threatening # 7 – Whitcombe seems intimidating even though he appears to be congenial.
· Mystery # 17 – Why does being around Dr. Whitcombe feel so freaky?
· Clue # 10 – Simon and Elise snuggle on the couch.
· Clue # 11 – She tries to understand him.
· Life Threatening # 8 – Simon sees a vision of his mother floating underwater.
· Clue # 12: Kevin confirms Whitcombe’s legacy. (“This guy is a legit as legit comes.’ And he‘s constantly giving money to help aide people and research.” “A pillar of the community.” One of the top surgeons in the world.
· Misdirect – Skeptical of Simon’s visions and fearful he may be psychotic she phones Kevin and determines to take him to a shrink. Simon over hears and runs away.
· Simon/Dr. Whitcombe: Distrust: Whitcombe’s henchman spies on Simon and Elise. Simon feels it, though Elise discounts it. (add to window scene)
Midpoint: Simon runs away forcing Elise to enter the journey.
· Elise/Simon: He runs away.
· Twist # 5 – Simon runs away. Elise pursues.
· New Direction: Having the child run away is totally unexpected and a big turn from the bonding she envisioned with fostering.
· Mystery # 18 – Where is Simon?
· Life Threatening # 7 – Did Simon disappear on his own?
· Reversal: Kevin spends half the night researching Whitcombe and finds some cracks.
· Clue # 13 – Kevin uncovers a darker legacy and a car shape in a pond on Whitcombe’s property. (Simon will be pleased, Kevin takes off he’ll call if he finds anything.) A bit of family history, his father ran the asylum where the nursing home is today. Was curing people of TB and all kind of ills tears ago, then he and his wife were killed in a car crash. “How horrible.”
Kevin He calls a buddy (doesn’t want to upset the worm cart yet) and goes to investigate. Misses Elise’s call about Simon. She calls him, but he is in the water checking the car for Simon’s mother’s body. He finds it and goes to tell Elise while forensics investigates.
Mystery # 19 – What is the mysterious car shaped image that appears in aerial photos of a pond on the Whitcombe property.
Reveal # 12 – There is a car in the pond, and it contains Debra’s remains.
Clue # 14 – They pull up the car from the bottom of the pond.
Elise finds Simon at Tommy’s Hope. He’s going in with or without her. Run’s almost gets hit. Elise consents.
Elise and Simon get locked in the basement.
He tries to call Elise and drops his phone in the water. It won’t come back on. So he heads to Elise’s “Let me know when you conform her identity…”
Elise/Simon: Trust: She goes back into the building with him.
Simon/Elise: Trust: She comes after him and goes back inside.
Simon/Elise: Distrust: She’s still having trouble buying his visions
Elise unites with Simon and they get locked in the basement.
No one is home. But Eric is watching from across the street. As he is pulling out lost in thought over what to do, his phone comes back on, and a message appears telling him there is a Voice Mail from Elise. Eric leaves and heads for “Tommy’s Hope” to inform Whitcombe. Whitcombe tells him to end this thing. He goes down the tunnel after them.
Elise and Simon hear him coming.
Kevin calls his friend, and another officer and they head to “Tommy’s hope.”
Turning Point 2: They get too close to Dr. Whitcombe’s big secret and are locked in a sub-basement to await their fate but instead seek a way out discovering more secrets.
· Clue # 15 – A young patient being wheeled down the hall says, I don’t want another operation.
· Clue # 16- Simon and Elise go on a life and death journey together.
· Twist # 6 – Simon and Elise come looking for information about Simon’s mother and get locked in a basement.
Reveal # 13: Whitcombe is willing to kill to keep his secrets secret. He is charmingly sadistic.
New Direction: – From information gatherers and spies to captives.
· Simon/Dr. Whitcombe: Distrust: When they return to the nursing home, Whitcombe locks them in the basement,
· Villain’s Plan # 6 – When Simon and Elise return to the facility covertly they are caught and imprisoned in an old subbasement where Simon’s visions reveal the history of the facility and Debra’s fate.
· Life Threatening # 9 – Simon and Elise are locked in the Sub-basement to await their eventual fate. Whitcombe is willing to kill to protect his secret.
· Mystery # 20 – Is there a way out?
· Mystery # 21 – Why is Simon seeing so many dead bodies?
· Life Threatening # 10 – Do the bodies pose a threat to Simon and Elise or are they foreshadowing of things to come?
· Clue # 17 – Simon finds an earring in a pile of rubble, it is his mother’s,
· Reveal # 14: Whitcombe killed Debra because she threatened to go to the police.
· mother and Whitcombe had their final confrontation here, she refused to help him, and he killed her.
· Life Threatening # 11 – Simon sees the night his mother was killed.
· Elise/Simon: Trust: She trusts his vision in the tunnel.
· Elise/Simon: Distrust: She’s trying to get out and he’s intent on getting them in deeper.
· Mystery # 22 – Is there any evidence to prove Debra Daniels was there?
· Simon/Elise: Trust: She’s trying to find a way out and listens when he recounts his mother’s confrontation with Whitcombe.
· Mystery # 23 – Where does the discovered tunnel lead?
· Life Threatening # 12 – A collapsing tunnel.
· Life Threatening # 13 – Rats
· Mystery # 24 – Will they survive the rats?
· Life Threatening # 14 – A henchman who is chancing them?
· Twist # 7 – It just got more dangerous.
· New Direction: Now not only are they trying to escape, they are trying not to get caught by the henchman.
· Mystery # 25 – Will they survive the henchman chancing after them?
· Simon/Dr. Whitcombe: Distrust: Whitcombe sends his henchman after them in the tunnel. “To end this charade.”
· Twist # 8 – The tunnel leads to a dead end but…
· Twist # 9 – On the other side of the dead end is an operating room.
· Clue # 18 – At the end of a tunnel they find an operating room with the same patient we saw earlier being prepared for surgery.
Clue # 19 – A heart image on the monitors and a cooler like the one we saw previously on the counter with the same markings as on the one Elise and Simon saw Dr. Whitcombe pass off on their first meeting.
· Simon/Dr. Whitcombe: Distrust: They hear a young patient complain he doesn’t want another operation and see a organ cooler like the one they witnessed when they first met Whitcombe.
· New Direction: Now not only is Whitcombe Simon’s mother’s killer, he is also preying on innocent victims who come to him for help.
· Twist # 10 – They escape into Dr. Whitcombe’s private office and find papers that reveal he is Simon’s father.
· New Direction: Simon who wants to expose his mother’s killer must now find a way to absorb the fact that he is Whitcombe’s son.
· Villain’s Plan # 7 – As they are escaping Simon and Elise find Whitcombe’s private office in an adjoining building and in it news articles of successful and unsuccessful transplants with Whitcombe’s patients and Simon’s birth certificate revealing his real parentage.
· Life Threatening # 15 – Simon’s sense of identity is challenged when he learns who his father is.
· Mystery # 26 – What is the paper Simon finds in Dr. Whitcombe’s private office?
Clue # 20 – In a private office they find Simon’s birth certificate, receipts for organ sales and an article about Whitcombe’s family including a book on autopsies written by Whitcombe’s father. “That’s one of the bodies I saw.”
· Reveal # 16 – Whitcombe has been performing organ extraction for sale on the black market.
· Reveal # 17 – Simon is Dr. Whitcombe’s biological son.
· Twist # 11 – It just got more dangerous.
· New Direction – We have gone from nefarious to black market.
· Villain’s Plan # 8 – Simon and Elise discover a young patient about to go under the knife and learn that Whitcombe’s nursing facility is a ready source of unwitting yet ready organ donors to finance his operation by selling “extra” organs on the black market.
· Simon/Dr. Whitcombe: Distrust: While Simon sifts through photos and news articles eventually finds his birth certificate. Elise finds records of organ sales.
· Life Threatening # 16 – Will Simon and Elise fall prey to the surgeon’s knife?
· Life Threatening # 17 – The knowledge that illegal activity is happening, others are in danger and they are unable to help.
· Mystery # 27 – What is the “operation” Whitcombe’s staff is prepping for in the basement of the mansion?
· Mystery # 28 – Is Tommy still alive?
Climax: The uncover Whitcombe’s final secret, Tommy is still alive, though barely. Caught a second time their fate is sealed. Can they escape? Yes, with a little help from Tommy.
· Twist # 12/ Reveal # 18 – Tommy is still alive.
Clue # 121- Tommy hooked up to heart monitors in his room. When Elise and Simon enter he says he wants it to be done. “No more.
· New Direction – Whitcombe’s philanthropy is based on treachery.
· Twist # 13 – Dr. Whitcombe is using his nursing facility as an organ farm to keep Tommy alive and finance his efforts.
· Life Threatening # 18 -– Tommy is still alive.
Clue # 22 – Tommy is alive and the identical twin of Simon.
· Villain’s Plan # 9 – Whitcombe’s end came is to keep Tommy alive and his patients are a ready source for needed replacement parts as Tommy’s organs increasingly fail.
· Life Threatening # 19 – Whitcombe’s order to kill them.
· Simon/Dr. Whitcombe: Distrust: They discover Tommy alive, and Whitcombe gives the order to terminate them.
· Life Threatening # 20 – The reality of death before their eyes.
· Mystery # 29 – Will they escape from Whitcombe again?
· Simon/Elise: Trust: she gets them out.
· Twist # 14 – Simon risks his life to save Whitcombe.
· New Direction: Simon, who wanted to expose Whitcombe now wants to save his father.
· Life Threatening # 21 – Weapons firing around him… Will the police kill Simon?
· Mystery # 30 – Will the police kill Dr. Whitcombe?
· Elise/Simon: Trust: She trusts his instinct to save Whitcombe
Clue # 23 – Elise hands the birth certificate to Kevin who exclaims, “His father?”
· Simon/Elise: Trust: She helps him save Whitcombe
· Simon/Dr. Whitcombe: Trust: For a brief moment Whitcombe is repentant and reaches out to embrace Simon, which he accepts.
· Mystery # 31 – Will Elise keep Simon? Does he finally have a home?
Resolution: At the cemetery where they first met Simon and Elise stand over his mother’s grave. “We’re both orphans now!”; “Guess we’ll just have to take care of each other.” Kevin proposes and Simon sees another vision… the adventure may not be over yet.
· Life Threatening # 22 – The thought of being alone (Simon)
· Simon/ Elise: Trust: She helps him bury his mother. And wants to adopt him.
· Misdirect…. The story is resolved they will be a happy family. Everything will be normal from now on
· Twist # 15/ Reveal # 19 – Simon’s visions are not over… we can spin to the series…
· New Direction: Simon goes from a single visionary pursuing his own interests to a potential sloth, helping the death solve their mysteries.
· Mystery # 32 – What does Simon “see” at Tommy’s grave?
· Elise/Simon: Trust: She trusts his vision at the cemetery.
· Simon/Elise: Trust: She learns to recognize and accept him as a visionary.
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