Lesson 13

[Carole Avila]

Carole Avila – Scares, Releases, and Creepy moments

What I learned doing this assignment is how the right emotional response at a certain time can create a better horrifying scene.

A scene that uses scares, releases, and creepy moments:

INT – ADLEY’S ROOM – NIGHT

ADLEY fell asleep while her mother was talking to her in the room. She is dreaming that she’s cold, shivering in her sleep. A soft tapping rises from under the bed and startles ADLEY awake. She bolts upright. The room is in ambient moonlight.

ADLEY
(looking about the room, whispers)
“Mom?”

ADLEY scrambles onto her feet, hanging onto the headboard. She notices the four-inch wide wooden slat capping the frame shift under her weight as she tries to hold on. She forces a couple of long pulls of air to slow her heart rate and her breath mists in front of her.

She waits, doesn’t hear another sound. ADLEY slowly steps across the mattress to the foot of the bed, looks down, not seeing anything. She hears tapping crossing from the floor beneath the headboard to below where she stands at the edge of the bed. She staggers back to the headboard. The same tapping trails her underneath the bed back to below the headboard.

ADLEY
(whispers)
Crap.

A distinct hiss filled the room. She glances at the door, and is about to scream for her parents when she hears more hissing. She tries to scream but nothing comes out but a guttural sob. Adley hears scratching, then more tapping.

She takes her socks off and wriggles one onto her right hand and bunches the other into a tight ball.

She gets in a ready-to-run position and tosses the sockball toward the windows. Nothing chases it, but she stares at the foot of the bed and sees the comforter move. She looks up at the door, then down to the foot of the bed.

On impulse, Adley blindly reaches over and grips the bedside lamp, yanking the cord out of the socket. She raises the lamp into the air, ready to strike. A single ivory finger at the edge of the mattress beckons her forward with a sharp-tipped nail.

A metallic click unnerves her and the door opens. CAROLINE turns on the light and gasps at the sight of her daughter, an antique Spanish lamp in one hand, a sock on the other.

ADLEY
(just above a whisper)
Do you see anything on the floor at the foot of the bed?

CAROLINE, wide eyed and gaping, looks at the bed.

CAROLINE
The dust ruffle just moved. Oh, no! Roger!

CAROLINE jumps onto the bed and collides with Adley. They hug and shout.

ADLEY / CAROLINE
Dad! / Roger!

They hear footsteps thumping down the hallway. They try to stay balanced on the mattress, clinging to one another.

ADLEY
(speaks normally)
Mom, did you see it?

CAROLINE
(shouts)
See what?

ADLEY
Why are you screaming?

CAROLINE
(shouts)
Because I saw the dust ruffle move!

ROGER enters the bedroom, clutching a golf club. He stares at ADLEY and CAROLINE, frightened and tangled in the lamp cord.

CAROLINE
(shouts)
It’s another mouse! Don’t just stand there! Get it! Get it!

ROGER
(calmly)
Let me guess.
(steps to bed)
It’s under the bed.

ADLEY
Dad! Watch out! It’s some kind of creepy hand or something.

ROGER stares blankly at ADLEY. He huffs and kneels on the floor, laying the golf club beside him. He lifts the bed skirt and inspects the dark area.

ROGER
(yelling)
My gosh!

ADLEY and CAROLINE scream. ROGER lifts the sockball with his fingertips.

ROGER
Lucky thing I set the club down. I almost killed your sock.

ROGER tosses the sockball onto the bed, then makes an obvious assessment of the sock on ADLEY’S hand.

ROGER
They go on your feet, sweetheart.

CAROLINE
(big exhale)
Thank goodness that’s all it was.

ADLEY
(raises her voice)
Mom, you saw it. A sock couldn’t make the dust ruffle move.

CAROLINE
Now, honey, I was slightly upset at the time.

ROGER extends his hand and assists CAROLINE to the floor.

ROGER
Slightly?

ADLEY
I threw my sock at the window. How could it get under the bed?

ROGER
(As he takes the lamp away from ADLEY)
Lousy shot?

ROGER offers his hand to help her down, but she ignores it.

ADLEY
(still shouting at CAROLINE)
You said you saw the dust ruffle move!

CAROLINE
(shrugs)
It was moving because you were jumping on the bed. I was horrified at the thought of seeing another mouse, just like you.

ADLEY pounces on the floor and jabs an accusing index finger toward CAROLINE.

ADLEY
You saw it, Mom, and you know that’s not what it was!

ROGER
Calm down, Deedee.

ADLEY
(screeching)
I will not calm down, and my name is Adley!

ROGER
(mad, but keeping voice even)
I think we should have an early breakfast, Caroline.

ROGER sets the lamp on the floor and picks up his golf club.

CAROLINE
I think so.

ADLEY
I can’t believe this! You saw it!

CAROLINE
(teeth slightly clenched)
That is quite enough! I’m not going to keep arguing. Come down to breakfast and, if you must, we can calmly discuss what happened, after you’ve settled down.

CAROLINE follows ROGER out of the room. Adley looks around the room and her eyes pop open.

ADLEY
Wait for me!

[Timothy G Winters]

Time’s Scares, Releases, and Creepy moments!

What I learned doing this assignment is not to wait for inspiration, silly me, but keep banging away for an idea and sitting before the keyboard, see what happens.

INT – TRUCK – NIGHT
Sala’s eyes are heavy. She checks Ali, tucking his blanket around him, and relieved that he is asleep. She looks at the others in the back. Sikowski is sitting up and trying not to sleep. Howard, clinging to his silver cases, is continuing to smoke. Sala lets her eyes close. Something nudges her hand. Her eyes dart open.

Howard is leaning over her.

SALA( in Afghani)
Get back!

HOWARD
Sorry. You’re not using this cover, right?

Howard holds a folded blanket that wasn’t being used. SALA PRACTICALLY HISSES at Howard. He retreats to his cases with the spare blanket.

Sala watches him as her eyelids get too heavy to stay open. Something touches her hand in a caress. Her eyes open and she stare at Howard, who is still on the other side of the truck. She stares daggers at him. He shrugs and looks away.

Her eyes close again.

A small child’s hand caresses her hand but her eyes don’t open this time. A child’s voice (QALI) speaks to her and her face responds to the sound.

QALI (OS, in Afghani)
Mumi! Mumi! I love you! Where have you been?

SALA
I’m here. I’m here. Just go back to sleep.

QALI (OS)
I need you, Mumi.

SALA
I need to rest my eyes. Go to sleep, Qali.

She opens her eyes.
SALA (whisper)
. . . Qali . . .?

Howard is still across the truck bed. Sikowski has lost her battle to stay awake. Chaz is still driving in the light of the dashboard. Ali is peacefully asleep.

SALA
Qali. . .
Her eyes close as if she wants to go back to her other older son. Immediately the child’s hand is caressing hers. Her hand moves to him. She touches his small spindly legs in his white shorts.
QALI (OS)
Mumi . . .

Sala must be dreaming but it is a good dreaming. She looks down at where her hand is resting on her boy’s knee. Qali is kneeling before his mother. She has missed him terribly. Her eyes move up his small form. He is wearing the T-shirt of a rock band that the American gave him. Her eyes move up to his beautiful face, but . . .

It’s not a clean cut and his HEAD IS GONE. . .

Sala bolts upright and there is no boy there. She bites her finger to keep from making a sound. She is alone among these people.

[Susannah Farrow]

Susannah’s Scares, Releases, and Creepy moments!

4. Answer the question “What I learned doing this assignment is…?”
What I learned doing this assignment is how scary moments can be implemented in the script rather than just writing them on the fly.

2. Create an OUTLINE of that scene and build in a scare, release, and a creepy moment.
Following the killer’s initial assault on the townspeople, a group of vigilantes take the fight to the killer. They shoot at him but miss every time as the killer ducks and weaves between bullets and hiding behind structures. The killer uses smoke bombs to hide his approach and one by one he kills the vigilantes and the hope they ignited in each member of the search party. It is during this time the search party must traverse through the smoke, only for one of them to be attacked. Thinking she is safe, a snake slithers over Magnolia’s feet.

3. Write the scene.
INT. GENERAL STORE – DAY

WAYLON
Look. Some of the guys are going after him.

ZOE
What?

BONNIE
Who is it?

ELIJAH
They’re going to get themselves killed.

EXT. TOWN CENTRE – DAY
A small group of men, young and old, carry their firearms with purpose as they enter the town centre.

GUNMAN
There he is! Kill him!
The group of vigilantes start firing at the killer.
The killer hides behind a building and throws smoke bombs to conceal himself.
Lost in the smoke, the vigilantes are reluctant to fire.
Then one of them is killed from behind.
Then another.
The killer picks them off one by one.
One of the vigilantes, panicking, shoots one of his comrades by mistake before being killed by the masked killer.

INT. GENERAL STORE – DAY
Some of the smoke clears and the search party sees the bodies of the vigilantes on the ground through the window.

ZOE
Oh, my God.

ELIJAH
Damn it.

HORACE
They were our only chance! Now he’ll come after us!

ZOE
Quiet. Here he comes.

Everyone stops moving and hides from the window as the killer walks by.

WAYLON
(whispering)
He’s gone. We should move.
BONNIE
Good idea.

The search party carefully walk through the smoke. They hide behind a building and look around.
A snake slithers over Magnolia’s feet. She’s about the scream when Zoe covers her mouth with her palm.

[j T]

Jessica Tremblay’s Scares, Releases, and Creepy moments!
What I learned doing this assignment is that to be effective in building up the tension, it’s good to use all three techniques ) scares, release, creepy moments).

Pick a scene from anyplace in your script that could use these three horror moments.
Scares – Grabbed by monster: the monster pulls her hair up
Release: her hair was just caught in a nail
Creepy moment: she sees the monster for the first time.

Joanna sits on a box, disheveled, sleeping bag around her shoulders. She slaps an invisible spider. Then her body relaxes. She falls asleep.
A FURRY PAW WITH LONG CLAWS comes through a gap in the planks… GRABS Joanna's hair… and PULLS UP.
Joanna SCREAMS. Kicks her legs. Her hand moves to her head where she discovers –her hair caught in a LONG NAIL.
She pulls her hair. A few strands stuck to the nail. She tries to sleep.
The PLOPping sound is now louder. She ignores it.
PUDDLE
With a layer of water at the bottom of the bucket, the PLOPping noise gets louder.
HALLWAY
The bucket. Something moves towards it.
LOCKER
Joanna sighs. Pushes away the sleeping bag. She gets up, groggy. The sleeping bag slips off her shoulder, keeping the door from closing as she leaves the locker.
HALLWAY
She yawns.
CORNER
As she walks towards the bucket —
PLOP PLOP. LAP LAP.
The lapping sound of an animal drinking. She frowns.
As she turns the corner. The bucket falls. Water spills towards her feet. An animal scampers in the dark.
On the concrete floor, WET PAW PRINTS.
Joanna runs to the
EXIT
The cardboard sign is on the floor. Did someone answer back? She picks it up. Turns pale. The message reads: H E L L The letter "P" smudged into an L.
She tries the door–

JOANNA
Please please please please please.

Still locked. She runs back to her locker. The door is kept open by the sleeping bag. She hears something rummaging inside a locker. Then, the DOOR BURST OPEN.
A dark furry SHAPE comes out, dragging the sleeping bag out. Boxes fall, spilling the contents in the hallway, including the BUNNY.
Joanna tries to catch a glimpse, but at the same moment the xmas lights unplug and she can't see the creature.
The hallway is clear. She grabs the bunny in the hallway. Gets in her locker. Closes the door. Hugs her bunny, as she listens… The noises continue in the storage. Objects falling, being tossed around. She squeezes the bunny.

• This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by  j T.
• This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by  j T.