Lesson 13

[Rodney Cavin]

Trust and Betrayal

What I learned from this lesson was how the trust/non trust relationship between lead characters becomes clear at this early stage of development and in a logical manner that can be woven in to the outline.

1. Main Characters:

Hero: Kelli
Villain: Anthony
Red Herring: Richard
Trusted, but shouldn’t be: Anthony, Detective Aldrich, Megan, Billy
Not trusted, but should be: Richard

2. With each character, ask these questions:

Anthony – Trusted. because he meets Kelli as new customer, asks Kelli about the murder because she was there.
Richard – Not trusted because he watched the murder victim, left before murder the watched Kelli’s house, followed her places.
Detective Aldrich – Trusted because he is the police detective investigation the murder.
Megan – Trusted as she works with Kelli, is her restaurant best friend.
Billy – Trusted because he’s the restaurant owner and Kelli’s boss.

3. With each character relationship, brainstorm how trust or distrust might show up between them.

Kelli/Anthony:
Trust – Kelli meets him as a new customer friendly, curious about the recent murder.
Trust – Offers to help Kelli find a new place to live.
Trust – Offers to give Kelli a ride after her accident.
Not trusted – reveals himself to be the villain wanting the microchip before he kills her.

Kelli/Richard:
Not trusted because he seemed suspiciously instructed in her opening customer, left ahead of him to be killed.
Not trusted when Kelli saw her watch her house after the murder.
Not trusted when he followed Kelli home when she had to walk.
Not trusted when he followed Kelli to her parent’s farm.
Not trusted when he joined Anthony after Kelly’s capture.
Trusted when he frees Kelli, helps her escape then reveals himself as an FBI special agent.

Kelli/Detective Aldrich:
Trusted because he is leading investigator of customer’s murder.
Trusted to do a correct investigation after he arrests Kelli for murdering her ex-boyfriend when she was not guilty.
Not trusted when Kelli sees him conferring in a very friendly manner with Richard and Billy.
Trusted after Kelli learns the truth about Richard and arrests Anthony for murder.

Kelli/Megan:
Trusted as they work together, have become close friends.
Not Trusted when Kelli finds her close to Billy.
Not trusted when Megan asks Kelli about receiving the micro chip.
Trusted in finalé as all is revealed.

Kelli/Billy:
Trusted being Kelli’s boss and owner of the restaurant.
Not Trusted when Kelli sees him friendly with Richard.
Not Trusted when he grills Kelli about the micro chip.
Trusted in finalé as all is revealed.

[Ronald Neustrom]

Ron Neustrom – DAY 13 HW Misdirection

What I learned is…The thriller map is a complex tool that contains many, many elements. Misdirection is one of them. For the audience a well-played misdirection can signal the writer’s high skill level and control over their art. The downside is that a misdirection not played well can confuse and dilute. This is the balancing act that we, as writers are trying to navigate…holding audience attention without being confusing or banal. Misdirection has been key for many successful stories. If used well can add a level of excitement and engagement that producers will be drawn to.

1. The Red-Herring character(s) are The Miranda Men. (Gary and Kaye). They are victims of Doud…Scared of her retribution. She holds their careers in her hands. As long as they cooperate, they will be allowed to work/live. They are police who have made mistakes, and their secrets will stay secret unless they don’t cooperate. We fall for Gary being a killer. And he is…however he is being threatened too. Jewel traced the money back to Kaye. He is the second Miranda to be used. A Miranda is a patsy. A trained killer who is innocent because if they don’t kill then they will be killed.
2. The Villain’s Plan…Margaret Doud, Mayor of San Diego, head of the Big 3. The Big 3 are the San Diego Local Government Heads. City, County, and Navy. They created the Mirandas because political donors wanted something for their money. Favors. The Big 3 needed a layer of protection. San Diego is unique because it is Border, Military, and local government. The donors might be Cartel connected. They also needed the money and the power. If something goes wrong…the Mirandas will be liable not the Big 3. Ana, Jewel, and Vivian stepped right into their cruel agenda.
3. The Cover-up for each Mystery.
– The Big Mystery: Who killed Ana? Coverup – Ana was killed by a boyfriend stealing her identity. We see her killing by Gary Gilmour. Jewel has returned with evidence that her mother was tricked and stolen from. Gary was a Miranda Man. They kill enemies of Mayor Doud and the Big 3. Ana was a whistle blower. She was killed because of what she uncovered and not because Gary wanted to steal from her. That was the coverup. Except Kaye and Gary got greedy. They kept the money. This will lead Jewel to them.
– 2nd Mystery: Why did Jewel come back to San Diego? – Coverup –To get help from Frances on her parole. She came back for treatment. She came back to work with police so they can help with her parole. She came back to expose her mother’s killer.
– 3rd Mystery – Who are the Miranda Men? Coverup – They are just SD Deputies on special assignment. They are a budget line on a city ledger. Ana uncovered the line item. They are supervised by Mayor Doud and the Big 3. They are highly trained deputies. They are deputies with a criminal history. The Mayor holds something over each of them. They kill for her or else. She kills for the Big 3. Kaye (Miranda 2) gets assigned to the Outreach to reign in/monitor/take out Jewel and Vivian.
– Misdirection (clue) – When they discover Ana’s body – the files will say suicide. They have a suicide note. Jewel has other information.
– Misdirection (character) – A. Jewel. She has returned to complete her parole with Frances. (Really to uncover their mother’s murderer.) B. Mayor Doud – A big Supporter of Vivian’s Outreach. (Really using Vivian and the Outreach as a cover for her Miranda Men) C. Kaye is the Deputy Mentor for Vivian. (Really there to find Jewel and kill her.)
– Misdirection (dialogue) – Mayor Doud – “We are here to support your Outreach. This is exactly what our community needs.”

***ps. If interested in my revised thriller map see lesson 12 posting.

• This reply was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by  Ronald Neustrom.