• Rita Roberts

    Member
    June 4, 2025 at 2:49 pm

    Rita’s Max Interest 2
    Opening setup with new character traits, a dark streak added.
    What I learned:
    – It’s a very different tone from my original version. Funny-ish in a darker way. Added elements set up more of the unfolding story. Next scene might be cut.
    -All this showing same story can be written multiple ways.
    -A future scene is also going to get dark, based on these changes.
    -I can pack a lot of ITs into one scene.

    Essence: Dawn’s life as a professor is professionally unfulfilling and personally challenging. She is undervalued in her position except for one devoted student she doesn’t indulge and another one who lightens the mood.

    LOGLINE for scene: A disrespected psychology professor is rudely interrupted as she wraps up her last class of the semester.

    Interest techniques:
    1. Hook — what’s with the office guy interrupting with painters plus they have some sort of history.
    2,3. Anticipatory Dialogue & Predictions — “I’m going to patch up holes and paint over some demons.” and Zak offers to help.
    4. Mystery — “This won’t take long. He’s proven that plenty.”
    5, 6, 7. Surprise & Twist & Cliffhanger (mild) — 1st page ends on a paint ladder banging through her lecture hall door to interrupt her class. Makes a reader turn the page and finish the scene.
    8. Uncomfortable moment — Dawn’s weird response to sage makes the whole class actually listen because it’s confusing. It makes Sage suspicious.
    9. Creating a future — Something will be happening with all these characters and painters.
    10. Set up for future surprise — we meet Curtis’s wife later.

    INT. UNIVERSITY CLASSROOM – MORNING
    Tiered lecture hall with a few fidgety, unenthused students. A large diagram hangs on the wall — psych meds and a brain.

    DAWN (30s) scans her less than rapt audience. A small woman in shapeless professor garb, the youthful apathy in this room nearly swallows her.

    A young couple makes out, smack in the middle of the rows.

    Dawn fast-balls a wad of paper at them.

    DAWN
    It’s not summer yet, lovebirds.

    They barely flinch.

    Suit and tie, office guy, CURTIS (40s) slithers through double doors to sit in the back row.

    Dawn’s eyes narrow and her lips tighten into a strict line.

    SAGE (21) front row, readies her pen as a studious annoyance to most of the room.

    SAGE
    What will you be reading this summer Ms Dawn?

    DAWN
    I’m going to patch up holes and paint over some demons.

    Dawn squints at Curtis as she says this.

    Confused, furrowed brows fill the room in an attempt to analyze her response. Even the lovebirds pause to ponder that one.

    Sage turns to see who gets hit by her professor’s nasty glare.

    ZAK (21) who looks more like a bronzed surfer than a psychology student volunteers.

    ZAK
    Need any help? I’m good with a paintbrush. And a hammer.

    SMARTASS in the back pipes up.

    SMARTASS
    Good at getting hammered.

    The door BANGS into a wall, pushed open by the padded end of an extension ladder.

    Curtis jumps up to hold the door open.

    CURTIS
    Just in time. Come on in.

    DAWN
    Excuse me! As noted, it’s not summer yet.

    Dawn’s timer chimes.

    CURTIS
    It is now.

    The class bounds out, free at last, but Zak barrels down the steps toward Dawn like a happy puppy.

    Zak’s infectious joy can’t derail the daggers in Dawn’s scowl.

    DAWN
    Hang on, Zak. This won’t take long. He’s proven that plenty.

    Sage frowns, a suspicious glance at the teacher/student/office guy exchange. She slips out the side exit.

    • This reply was modified 3 weeks, 5 days ago by  Rita Roberts.
  • Mary Albanese

    Member
    June 4, 2025 at 3:23 pm

    WHAT I LEARNED: Once you click out of that analytical, linear thinking mode that script reading and writing naturally defaults to, and re-imagine how to push the scene to optimize the essence, you can have a lot of fun revising a script. Revising is no longer a chore, it is literally a funhouse of ways to infuse and elevate the script.

    Lesson 13 – Adding Maximum interest techniques into a scene.

    OLD SCENE
    SCENE ARC/LOGLINE: Elsie, determined to have her baby, argues with her doctor and husband who want to abort it for her health.
    ESSENCE: Elsie must fight not only her doctor but her husband to bear this child.
    Currently, the scene has uncomfortable moment, anticipatory dialogue, prediction, and creating a future as Elsie argues with her doctor and husband about having this child, and the consequences if she does or doesn’t have it. This scene delivers the plot, but it's a talking scene, which leaves it a little flat. Let’s add some more max interest techniques. And also, let's add some action to see if that might jump-start the interest techniques.

    So let’s push it. At start of scene, let’s give us a hint to remind us why it’s so uncomfortable for her to face this doctor (who knows the baby isn’t her husband’s). That will push the uncomfortable moment aspect to start the scene off with more tension. Instead of talking in the doctor’s office, let’s have her be getting an ultrasound by the doctor, and the baby’s face is unclear and fuzzy and missing. Equipment malfunction or is there something drastically wrong with this baby? That gives us something unseen. Let’s start the ultrasound sequence with a dilemma – the doctor has Elsie on the table and as he talks to her, he gets out his ultrasound equipment. Yikes! She didn't agree to that. Will Elsie even allow the ultrasound? She knows she may have consequences if she has the ultrasound, but also consequences if she refuses to have it. That makes us uncomfortable on the doctor’s table for her. For mystery, once she agrees, seeing a fetus with no face gives us that. Let’s push it even farther. In the next scene, the doctor dies. Let’s push that here so this scene ends on a cliffhanger. This faceless fetus starts out having very weak pulse, heartbeat. Barely alive. Then it starts THRASHING in the womb when the doctor comes near it. This makes the doctor say this pregnancy is definitely dangerous and more evidence that it is a risk to Elsie’s health and must be aborted. Elsie can end the scene telling the doctor he’s wrong – the baby just doesn’t like him. That gives us a creepy cliff-hanger to end the scene by way of a foreshadowing of the scene to follow. As for the hook? A baby with no face gives us that.

    And for extra kick, let’s have her husband seem supportive of her all the way through, until at the end of the scene, where he makes it clear he’s going to side with the doctor all the way. This gives us betrayal, misdirect, character changes radically, and makes Elsie’s life even harder. Because not only can she not count on him, she can’t even count on him to be honest with her about what he’s thinking.

    NEW SCENE ARC: Elsie, determined to have her baby, fights with her doctor and husband who want to abort it for her health. The scene arc overview is basically the same as the old one.
    NEW SCENE LOGLINE: Elsie, determined to have her baby, now must fight not only her doctor but her husband to bear her child. (Very similar to the old scene logline.)
    ESSENCE: It is the essence that is elevated by this revision to the scene. Now the essense is: Elsie’s fight to have this child no matter what just got way WAY more intense.

    • This reply was modified 3 weeks, 5 days ago by  Mary Albanese.
  • Mark Napier

    Member
    June 5, 2025 at 1:52 pm

    ASSIGNMENT: 13 Title: (Mark) Max Interest 2

    “What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is….?” – I learned additional layering skills and depth can be added by adding dialogue that serves to setup the audience and forecast anticipated events, but still not reveal what is to come as a form of intrigue.

    Take a scene that needs to be more interesting and use the Interest list to brainstorm more interesting ways to write it.
    Take these steps:
    1. Select the scene from your script that needs help and give us a logline for that scene.
    Scene 23 Location: INT – CIA STATION, BAGHDAD, IRAQ – DAY
    Logline: Mark breaks the news for his early departure to an assembly of Station’s ‘key’ three officials involved in personnel action and finances, who are surprised to learn about the hostile work environment resulting from his exposing a child pedophile within the ranks. All are in agreement with Mark’s decision and filings.

    2. Tell us the essence of the scene. The scene is a setup for the audience (as witnesses) to a later revelation where Mark is being falsely accused of a ruse of filing a false pay voucher, despite having coordinated with three of Station’s approving officials.

    3. Tell us at least two (more if you can) interest techniques for the rewrite.
    Hook – The protagonist discloses the hostile work environment that exists to three key Station officials who are unaware of the situation, let alone the surprise investigative findings of child pornography. The protagonist’s efforts to go out of his way to obtain their confirmation of proper filings and approval of his finances lays the foundation for the audience to be left thinking….WTF?
    Predictions – Retaliation at the CIA is a cultural norm and senior CIA officials abuse of title, position and authority is easily anticipated when egos are bruised.
    Something Unseen – Efforts to sabotage the protagonist in his operations and credibility.
    Creating a Future – The retaliation to follow of being Blacklisted for a false ruse.

    4. Rewrite the scene using as many interest techniques as you can and include the newly rewritten scene in your post. Because this is based on true events and a personal story, I will not post a response to the task for content protection, but will fulfill the purpose of the exercise.

    • This reply was modified 3 weeks, 5 days ago by  Mark Napier.
  • Kimbal Thompson

    Member
    June 7, 2025 at 1:28 am

    Kimbal Thompson Max Interest 2
    What I’ve learned is that improving my writing the interaction of the character, their dialogue and the situation can propel interest and powerful scenes.
    Scene: High school students initial exit in cutting classes to begin a trip across the US.
    Essence: Two male friends have planned this trip, although a coed has decided to join them. Not aware of the small vehicle.
    INT. HIGH SCHOOL CORRIDOR FRONTING STUDY HALL DOOR – DAY
    Goal: To make a clean getaway.
    Hook: will they make it?
    BOB
    Come on, before the bell rings, let’s get out the door. (uncomfortable moment)

    INT. HIGH SCHOOL CORRIDOR JUST AROUND THE CORNER – DAY

    Suzy coolly bluffs her way past a suspicious teacher
    SUZY
    (with large purse and backpack)
    Good morning Mrs. Elliot (dilemma)

    MRS. ELLIOT
    Good morning, Suzy, going somewhere?
    (uncomfortable moment)
    SUZY
    Yes ma’am, off to Tahiti – I wish! ‘just going around the corner to Study Hall. (uncomfortable moment)

    MRS. ELLIOT
    Okay, have a good study hall.

    SUZY
    Damn.

    MRS. ELLIOT (anticipatory dialogue)
    What?

    SUZY
    I said yes ma’am.

    INT. HIGH SCHOOL CORRIDOR DOOR TO EXTERIOR – DAY
    Carefully Suzy turns the corner towards the Study Hall and doubles back to the exterior door. Seeing all is clear, she’s out the door to the parking lot.

    EXT. HIGH SCHOOL PARKING LOT – DAY

    She spots the blue MG and heads toward it. Seeing Dean Klunks across the parking lot, she ducks down crouching toward and reaching the MG. (something unseen, dilemma)

    SUZY
    (perplexed, to herself)
    Damn, this thing has no door handles. (Challenging situation, uncomfortable moment)

    She manages to slide open a side curtain and reach inside, honking the car’s horn. She crouches lower and finds the door latch, opening the door, knocking herself over. (Dilemma)

    INT. BOB’S MG MIDGET – DAY
    S
    SUZY (CONT’D)
    (crawling into the car)
    Shit, at least I’m in, even though it’s the driver’s seat. This thing’s tiny.

    Dean Klunks looks toward the beeping horn, then turns away as the beeping quickly stops. (mystery)

    EXT. HIGH SCHOOL PARKING LOT. – DAY

    WILBUR
    (grimacing)
    Jesus, did you see Klunks out there, that was close. (uncomfortable moment)

    BOB
    (listening)
    Naw, he’s headed the other way, but that quick beep sounded like my MG. (Creating a future)

    WILBUR
    Unlikely, we’re not there yet.

    As they approach the MG, it appears to be rolling out into the driveway aisle. Then they see Suzy in the driver’s seat.

    BOB
    (whispering loudly)
    Push the brake, middle pedal! (cliffhanger)

    SUZY
    (stomps on brake pedal)
    Like this?

    The car skids to noisy stop.
    BOB
    (whispering more loudly) Suzy, crawl between to behind the seats! Wilbur gets in the other side!

    SUZY
    (confused)
    How? (creating a future)

    Klunks reappears in the distance. (cliffhanger)

    BOB
    Just do it! (prediction)

    INT. BOB’S MG MIDGET – DAY
    Wilbur just gets in as Suzy plunks her purse and backpack over the driver’s seat and slithers behind the passenger seat, calves split awkwardly over the transmission tunnel.

    WILBUR
    (touching brake lever)
    Lucky for you this was disengaged.

    SUZY
    (seeing Wilbur’s hand) Oh, yeah.

    Bob quietly maneuvers back into the parking space as they see Klunks turn around into the other direction, afar.

    WILBUR
    (breathing heavily)
    That was close!

    BOB
    Wilbur, chill out! Suzy, what are you doing in my car? (mystery, anticipatory dialogue)

    SUZY
    (non-chalantly)
    Wishing it was bigger, but heading to California. (creating a future, anticipatory dialogue)

    WILBUR
    But I thought it was only me and Bob. (cliffhanger)

    SUZY
    Incorrect, grammatically.

    BOB
    And otherwise, Suzy, you were not invited along! (dilemma)

    SUZY
    And here I am, and we need to skedaddle before Klunks comes back. (dilemma)

    With that, Bob edges his MG though the parking lot back entrance and away from the school.

    BOB
    (exasperated)
    Suzy, this is just not going to work. The car is too small for three and we’ll be busted once your parents discover you’re gone! (prediction, uncomfortable moment)

    SUZY
    (tartly)
    Not going to happen, my parents are on a cruise for the next two weeks. (something unseen)

    BOB
    You’re lucky we at least have a rear cushion back there
    rear cushion back there, this far. This is it!

    Bob pulls along the side of the road for Suzy to get out with her purse and backpack. Bob shifts into first and starts moving the car forward.

    SUZY
    (gets out, hitting the MG)
    Besides, I’ve arranged to have you busted if I’m not making the trip with you. (something unseen, dilemma)

    BOB
    (skidding to a stop) Damnit! (uncomfortable moment)

    Suzy puts her backpack in the trunk, gets back in with some music cassettes and they are off.

    WILBUR
    (smiling)
    California, here we come! (predictions, hook)

  • carl marshall

    Member
    June 8, 2025 at 10:36 pm

    Title: (Carl Marshall) Max Interest 2 (Creating a future, Hook)
    “What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is Detachment
    Logline: Caretaker returns and finds squatters in his home.
    Essence of scene: caretaker is killed.
    Interest techniques for rewrite, Hook, Mystery
    Scene = Kara the leader of a group of squatters move into the home of the grounds keeper of a cemetery who returns unexpectedly and is killed and buried by the squatters. Later that night the squatters hear a loud knock at the door. Kara looks through the window and is horrified to see the grounds keeper standing with a terrifying grin.
    THE BLACKROOT TOMB
    Scene : The Caretaker Returns
    INT. CARETAKER’S CABIN – DAY
    Raining hard. The squatters — KARA, JIM, and two others — unpack scavenged supplies in the dusty caretaker’s cabin.
    The door bursts open. THE CARETAKER (70s, ) stares them down.
    CARETAKER
    This is my cabin. Get the hell out.
    Tension spikes. Kara steps forward, arms out.
    KARA
    We didn’t know anyone was still here. We’re just trying to survive.
    The caretaker pulls a rusted blade. Panic erupts. Kara lunges. A struggle. The blade turns. He collapses, bleeding out.
    They bury him near a marked grave in the cemetery.
    INT. CARETAKER’S CABIN – NIGHT
    . A LOUD KNOCK shakes the cabin. The squatters freeze.
    Kara creeps to the fogged window. Wipes a hole. Her breath catches.
    Outside stands the CARETAKER — pale, filthy, with a terrible, twisted GRIN.
    Kara stumbles back, horrified.
    KARA
    He’s back. The caretaker. I saw him.
    The others rush to the window. No one is there now. Just shadows.
    INT. CARETAKER’S CABIN – LATER THAT NIGHT
    The squatters sit in tense silence. One lantern burns low.
    JIM
    You sure it was him? Maybe… maybe you imagined it.
    KARA
    I know what I saw. We buried him. .
    The youngest squatter, MARA, whispers:
    MARA
    The grave… it looked open when I passed it.
    Arguments erupt. Fear rising. Accusations fly.
    KARA
    You think I’m crazy? Go dig him up. I’m not stopping you.
    Someone snuffs the lantern. The room plunges into near-dark.
    A whisper slides through the room:
    KARA (CONT’D)
    He’s not done with us. And we’re not alone.

  • Jeremy Kirk

    Member
    June 10, 2025 at 12:26 am

    What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is if you write the scene with an eye for story then you will have the Max Interest traits already written.
    Jeremy Kirk Max Interest 2
    Logline: Henry is at the hospital to comfort the battered Dana when a Detective Quinn asks to speak to him.
    Essence: The cat and mouse game between Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde plays out through the interview.
    Max Interest traits used: Uncomfortable Moment and Mystery

    PATIENT ROOM
    Henry holds Dana’s hand and lays his head on her bed when a gentle knock at the door.
    Henry lifts his head and sees a man standing in the doorway, DETECTIVE QUINN.
    QUINN
    Hello, I’m detective Quinn and I’ve been assigned to this case. Can I speak to you in private?
    Henry wipes the tears and snot away and follows the detective.
    HENRY
    Sorry, you had to see that? (Uncomfortable Moment added)
    They go into another room with tables.
    He sits down and Henry sits opposite from him.
    QUINN
    I wanted to have a quick word about what went down at the laboratory. That is if you don’t mind?
    HENRY
    (clears his throat) No, go ahead ask your questions.
    QUINN
    We don’t suspect you were involved with this crime. It was a rather large individual that did the type of damage to Dana. This was corroborated by Dr. Schultz who was also attacked.
    HENRY
    What was the description of the man he gave?
    Quinn pulls out a pad, flips it open and reads.
    QUINN
    About six foot three, maybe three hundred pounds. Several noticeable scars line his face, including one through his top lip. As the doctor put it, the man had awesome power, like the power of ten madman.
    HYDE (O.S.)
    Don’t you do it Jekyll. (Hook – you have an interrogation scene with Henry Jekyll and Hyde the voice in his head who threatens him.)
    HENRY
    Would you like to know his name? (Dilemma – Henry is through dealing with Hyde and gives him up to cops)
    HYDE (O.S.)
    I’ll hurt you Jekyll, I’ll hurt you bad! (predictions – Hyde will try and revenge for this)
    HENRY
    Edward Hyde.
    Quinn writes the name down.
    QUINN
    Yes, we are hearing this name more and more on the streets. (Mystery – Added.)
    HENRY
    He is nothing more than a local hood. I believe he’s been moonlighting with the Scalise Mob.
    QUINN
    Scalise mob, got it.
    HENRY
    He’s responsible for the murder of a pharmacist and the arson of Stars Drug store. He also threw Carmine Wilson and his wife out a window. And if you drag the waters, you might find the remains of Union rep Benny Tannenbaum.
    QUINN
    Jesus, it’s like you were there. (mystery – How did Henry come across all this information)
    HENRY
    Not there, he just likes to brag. And you know the biggest tale he told?
    HYDE (O.S.)
    I am going to make your life a living hell. (anticipatory Dialogue – will the threats be made real?)
    HENRY
    He was solely responsible for the massacre at the Neapolitan Noodle restaurant and the assassination of Dino DeCavalcante.
    Quinn is taken back by all the information.
    QUINN
    You’d be willing to testify to all this?
    HENRY
    Oh, I don’t think Hyde is the type to come in quietly. If you get him in your crosshairs, you shoot to kill. (creating a future – Henry is selling Hyde as someone who should be shot dead, thus solving the problem he created.)
    HYDE (O.S.)
    Oh you bastard. (Something Unseen – henry’s response to a voice in his head.)
    HENRY
    I learn from the best.
    QUINN
    Pardon?
    HENRY
    Nothing. Can I go back to Dana?
    QUINN
    Yeah, one other thing. We found Arnold Dragna in the basement. Do you know who he is?
    HENRY
    Sure everybody in the neighborhood knows who he is. Debt collector for George Scalise.
    QUINN
    He was found with some grievous wounds hiding out under the stairs. Can you tell me why and how he got there?
    HENRY
    Did a wrong turn to Hyde. So Hyde ripped off his jaw and forced him to live among the rats. Like I said detective, this guy is a full blown psychopath. He needs to be put down like a sick dog.
    QUINN
    But you could of set him free at anytime?
    HENRY
    And incur the wrath of Hyde for what, some asshole who collects money for the mob? What world do you live in?
    QUINN
    Thanks for your time.
    Henry leaves. (I suppose this could be a cliffhanger? Hyde has threatened the Doctor and now the police know about Hyde’s crimes.)

  • Claudia Wolfkind

    Member
    June 11, 2025 at 10:55 pm

    Claudia’s Max Interest 2

    What I learned that is improving my writing: using a variety of interest techniques can make your writing much stronger and interesting. It’s forcing your brain to look outside the box to write something more engaging, interesting and different.

    Interest Techniques Picked: Surprise, Hook, and Dilemma

    Setting: Abby’s pristine, minimalist apartment — everything is white, spotless, and smells faintly of disinfectant. A single candle flickers on a gleaming table set for two.

    INT. ABBY’S TOWNHOME – NIGHT

    The door swings open. JACK, 30s, scruffy, awkwardly charming, holds a bouquet of slightly wilted flowers and a reusable grocery bag. He steps in, eyes wide.

    JACK
    Wow. This place is… NASA could launch a rocket from here.

    ABBY (smiling nervously)
    Thanks. I Lysol’d the doorknob four times. Just in case.

    They sit. Jack carefully sets the grocery bag beside him, but Abby eyes it like it’s a biohazard.

    ABBY
    What’s in the bag?

    JACK (cheerful)
    Oh! Thought I’d bring something special. Conversation starters.

    He unzips the bag — pulls out: a cracked snow globe, a half-burned candle shaped like Elvis, and a squirrel figurine made of lint.

    JACK (CONT’D)
    Each one has a story. This guy? Found him behind my dryer. Thought he was a mouse at first.

    ABBY (frozen smile, eyes twitching)
    You… collect these?

    JACK
    Collect? No, I rescue them. I give stuff a second chance. Like a thrift store superhero.

    A tense beat. Abby subtly scoots her chair away from the bag.

    ABBY
    I throw my sponges away after one use.

    JACK (genuinely impressed)
    Wow. That’s… bold.

    A flicker of connection — both awkward, both deeply themselves.

    JACK (CONT’D)
    So, should I… put these in another room? Or burn them in a ritual outside?

    ABBY
    Depends. Do you always bring… souvenirs on first dates?

    JACK
    Only if I think it might be a second-date kind of night.

    A beat. Abby blinks. Her brain wants to scream. Her heart hesitates.

    ABBY (quietly)
    I have disposable gloves in every room. And you’re carrying a lint squirrel.

    JACK (grinning)
    Too strange? They say opposites attract.

    Abby looks at the squirrel. Then at Jack. Then at her perfectly white napkin… which she slowly offers to the squirrel like a blanket.

    ABBY
    Maybe more like a boat going into the Bermuda Triangle… he looks cold.

  • Xochi Blymyer

    Member
    June 19, 2025 at 7:21 pm

    Xochi Blymyer’s Max Interest
    INT. PRESIDENT’S STUDY – DAY
    President Zakaria leads Ross into his study and motions him to a seat at his desk. The door is closed with a loud bang. Ross jumps.
    Ross digs out a script from his bag. He hands Zakaria a copy of what he came up with on the flight. President Zakaria tosses the script on the desk and ignores it.
    PRESIDENT ZAKARIA
    Please, Ross, take a seat. Let’s get to know each other and what I expect.

    ROSS
    Yes, of course.

    PRESIDENT ZAKARIA

    I have seen that we have much in common as you are King of Hollywood and I am President of The Gambia.

    Ross’s eyes open wider, then tries to cover his surprise on this comparison.
    ROSS
    Well, I was…
    (he pauses)
    glad to get your request. Thank you very much. That’s an interesting comparison of us. By the way, I think you’ll be very pleased with the story I’ve come up with. It’s a love story set in The Gambia, of course.
    PRESIDENT ZAKARIA
    We shall talk about love and romance.
    ROSS
    Okay, perfect. The man in our story has been in love with this woman for a long time but she is not in his league.
    PRESIDENT ZAKARIA
    What does this mean, “In his league”?
    ROSS
    Well, his family doesn’t have money, and she is very wealthy and connected.
    PRESIDENT ZAKARIA
    He cannot ever have her, this is not a realistic story, one is not supposed to cross over into another class, it’s just not done. Or possible.

    ROSS
    (flustered)
    I see, this is going to be a romantic comedy so not completely realistic. Let me think of a good movie example…
    Zakaria cuts him off. Agitated.
    PRESIDENT ZAKARIA
    There is no reason she would need to consider him. Why is it not a man of royal status seeking the companionship of a woman? That would certainly be a story people would want to see. Maybe like “Sabrina”?
    ROSS
    You’ve seen “Sabrina”?

    Zakaria eyeballs him as if to say, “don’t question me”.
    ROSS
    Hmm, okay, I will take that under consideration. Mr., Your Highness…um, how do I call you?
    PRESIDENT ZAKARIA
    Here in the State House, you can call me Zakaria but out on the street you must call me His Excellency Sheikh Professor Dr. Zakaria. Sometimes just His Excellency will be enough.
    ROSS
    Oh, ok, Mr. Excellency Zak…as a producer on this film, you certainly can let me know which parts of the story you’d have ideas about, it is a work in progress. I thought this beautiful princess cannot find anyone to talk to in the palace but knows what her boundaries are and longs for someone like this commoner. But she also wants to obey the customs.
    PRESIDENT ZAKARIA
    Hmm, as the Producer? I like that, His Excellency the Producer! I don’t like this story at all.
    I want to talk more about a royal man that wants a woman who does not notice him. He should be able to tell her she will be his, but he hesitates. Something inside him seems to stop him. I don’t understand it. I mean, the story should show that he does not understand what is going on with himself. Start with that idea. We shall meet again tomorrow. Good Night.
    Ross is dismissed as he tries to get in one last remark.
    ROSS
    I think if you just read what I’ve written…
    PRESIDENT ZAKARIA
    I must deal with other issues. My man will show you out.

    Servant has magically appears and is ushering Ross out the door.
    ROSS
    But…
    (Under his breath)
    shit, shit, shit…
    PRESIDENT ZAKARIA
    What is this ‘shit, shit, shit’?
    Ross hesitates, realizing he was louder than he meant to be.
    ROSS
    Oh, it’s just a saying which says how excited I am. Thank you very much Your Excellency Producer Zak.
    Zakaria registers that note and with that the door closes behind him.

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