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Lesson 13
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What I learned is many of my misdirects were already in the map but I discovered a couple of news ones that were exciting. Just being aware of the need for misdirects and how to include them is going to be very helpful going forward.
Tina Misdirects…When Appropriate!
How my misdirections were effectively used:
A. The Red Herring – Caretaker Peters
– Peters threatens Julie to help him (already in map)
– Warns the other employees to behave (already in map)
B. The Villain – the Operator
– Acts sympathetic and concerned (already in map)
C. The cover-up for each mystery presented as “Reality”
– The newborns are not really dying (already in map)
– The Operator has threatened Peters to do her bidding (already in map)
– Peters protects his patients and the last thing he’d do is kill anyone (already in map)
– Peters has his own plan of escape (already in map)
Ops for Misdirection
A. Clue Misdirection
– Peters leaves Julie’s door unlocked. (already in map)
B. Character Misdirection
– After a grand, sobbing performance that reaches into our hearts, the Operator drops the dead newborn, in reality a Cabbage Patch doll, into a laundry bin
– Julie’s father thinks her call is a prank but comes to her rescue in the end (already in map)
C. Dialogue Misdirection
– Turns of phrases throughout which contain subtext or irony, i.e., the employees seem happy and say things about the Operator which are not really compliments
– Dialog is guarded, circular
– Everyone speaks to/about the Operator with respect/fear
D. (Added) Writer Misdirection
– The Catalog is not just patient records, it’s a sales and marketing tool. (already in map)
NEW THRILLER MAP
OPENING:
Direction: Julie dreams of being in a car accident.
Mystery 1: Julie has a jumbled dream about a car accident in which she’s driving and crashes.
Reveal 1: It’s a flashback/dream.
INCITING INCIDENT:
Intrigue: Frantic breathing in the dark.
Covert: (Julie wakes to) Rumbling past her door.
Reveal 2: Julie wakes up from a coma
Mystery 2: She can’t remember who she is. She wonders that she’s pregnant. She scrutinizes her face in the mirror, looks old to herself.
Twist: Julie wakes up in the futuristic Facility, plugged into medical tubing.
Covert: Julie’s wrist identifier band has “Doe, Julie.” and a number.
Covert: The Catalog on the computer screen has password-only access.
Overt: Julie’s door is locked from the outside.
Twist: She hears a woman screaming, people running down the corridors, a baby crying.
Mystery 3: What is The Facility and why is ‘Julie Doe’ here?
Mystery 4: She hears a woman screaming and a baby crying.
Mystery 5: Why is her door locked from the inside?
Reveal 3: Julie’s a prisoner.
Red Herring’s Plan 1: Caretaker Peters is cruel, gives orders to the staff, and appears to be running things.
Direction: Julie pretends to still be comatose.
TURNING POINT 1:
Overt: Caretakers discuss being perpetually short-handed. It’s hard to get good people.
Covert: Caretakers discuss (Julie) coming due soon.
Covert: Employees sweat, on edge, and try to hide this with banter.
Covert: Comment about the “cute one” on page 65.
Overt: Caretaker Peters discourages the others from saying anything negative, and they say they were “Just kidding. I’m a kidder.”
Dialog Misdirect: Turns of phrases throughout which contain subtext or irony, i.e., the employees seem happy and say things about the Operator which are not really compliments
Dialog Misdirect: Dialog is guarded, circular
Dialog Misdirect: Everyone speaks to/about the Operator with respect/fear
Overt: Watch out, a cleaner will come for you. (grim)
Covert: Peters silences others with a motion or a glance.
Twist: Peters knows she’s awake but lets it slide.
Covert: Peters ignores Julie’s brainwaves; he has put in a service request.
Covert: An employee talks about how cold the Operator is.
Covert: (Intro) The Operator eavesdrops on the conversation.
Covert: The Operator skips a word or a step.
Covert: The Operator coils a USB cable and puts it in her pocket.
Covert: The Operator carries a pair of surgical scissors in her pocket distinguished by a ribbon or pacifier (pacifier could be the symbol.)
Trust: The Op handles Julie tenderly.
Distrust: She talks about harvesting her newborn in the most commercial of terms.
Life threatening 2: Peters and the other Caretakers on their daily rounds believe Julie’s still comatose. They’re only concerned about Julie’s baby.
Mystery 6: One of the Caretakers thinks Julie’s brainwaves are too active but Peters ignores this/he shuts off the monitor.
Life threatening 3: Painful medical procedures are performed on Julie when she’s faking the coma.
Mystery 7: What is Caretaker Peters hiding?
Direction: The suspicious Operator observes Peters’ activities and makes notes.
Twist: The Operator announces that Julie will be scheduled to have her baby harvested.
Mystery 8: Caretaker Peters updates The Operator about Julie’s “procedures” in a few days once she’s ripe enough.
Distrust: Peters lies to The Operator about Julie’s condition.
Trust: He protects Julie’s wellbeing.
Direction: The Operator carries a newborn she says is dead.
Twist: The newborn isn’t dead.
Too many “assets” are not surviving. She blames this on Peters.
Trust: She reprimands Peters for every failure which makes him seem like the bad guy.
Distrust: She lets Peters continue to tend to Julie.
Villain’s Plan 2: The cold Operator claims the facility needs to show zero losses.
Life threatening 4: Everyone will follow the Operator’s rules or pay the price.
Villain’s Plan 3: The Operator pretends to care about the patients, is over-emotional when a patient or infant dies or miscarries. But is devoid of real emotion (which is realized when she exits). It’s “never about the money, it’s about being of service.”
Direction: Why does Peters so readily take responsibility for newborn “deaths?”
Reveal 5/Twist: The Operator tortures the employees if they disagree.
Direction: The Operator takes the dead newborns away before autopsies can be performed.
Twist: The not-dead newborns are taken to a secret locked room.
Trust: She weeps for every newborn that doesn’t survive.
Distrust: She won’t let Peters examine the dead infants or perform autopsies.
Villain’s Plan 4: Where does the Operator take the tiny bodies before autopsies that could help them understand the fatalities can be completed?
Character Misdirect: After a grand, sobbing performance that reaches into our hearts, the Operator drops the dead newborn, in reality a Cabbage Patch doll, into a laundry bin.
Life threatening 5: Julie’s baby could be harvested at any moment while she’s awake.
Life threatening 6: Julie has labor pains.
Reveal 4/Twist: Caretaker Peters wants to use Julie in his own escape plan.
Mystery 9: Caretaker Peters wants Julie to help him in some way (escape? Bring down The Operator?) (but can Peters be Trusted?).
Distrust: Peters threatens Julie to help him.
Peters brought Julie out of the coma – yes, she has been kept in a coma on purpose.
Trust: He handles Julie with the greatest of care.
Covert: Cleaners roam the hallways with a heavy laundry cart.
Covert: The Cleaners seem stressed and fearful.
Covert: Peters warns about the room bugged, writes out instructions. Gives Julie 5 min. to roam and make up her mind.
Overt: The Facility is cold and prison-like.
Overt: Peters’ and Julie’s quid quo pro.
Overt: Julie sees many other coma patients locked in rooms like hers.
Covert: Julie is hiding, sees a Cleaner wheel a dead body out of an O.R. and the other one cleaning up the blood.
Mystery 10: Julie wants him to tell her who she is but Peters says he has no personal data on patients which keeps them from getting emotionally attached.
Distrust: Peters says he doesn’t know Julie’s true name.
Life threatening 7: Caretaker Peters will give Julie a few hours to get her mind clear. When he returns, she’d better do his bidding or he’ll put her back in a coma.
Direction: Under threat, Julie agrees to help Peters, but only if he helps her. He leaves her door unlocked.
Reveal 6/Trust: He leaves a computer screen open with her info so she can see her father’s address and phone number.
Distrust: Peters says he’ll help Julie escape.
Trust: He leaves her door unlocked.
Life threatening 9: Julie fears it’s a trap, is afraid to venture out, but finally does.
Direction: Julie finds surgical rooms. Many comatose patients. Rooms full of infants. The locked “dead infant” room. Breakaway fire doors padlocked. Peters and the Caretakers locked in their rooms until rounds.
Twist 12: The only way out of the building is through the guarded front door.
Reveal 7/Villain’s Plan 10: Julie finds a remote room with the “dead” newborns plugged into A.I. technology; DNA splicing, electronic implants, etc.
Mystery 11: Who is The Operator, really, and what’s going on here?
Overt: Peters asks other employees why the one who criticized the Operator has missed his/her shift.
Covert: The Operator has blood spatters on her shoe.
MIDPOINT:
Direction: Julie gets into The Operator’s office.
Direction: Julie remembers more about the car accident.
Twist: She was driving, killed her mother in the crash, ended up in a coma.
Mystery 12: Through another flashback, Julie begins to remember who she is. Now in her 30s, she had the car crash that killed her mother and put her in a coma at age 18.
Mystery 13: Julie sneaks into the offices looking for a key, key card, phone, etc.
Direction: Julie finds an auction announcement in The Operator’s office.
Twist: Someone wants to purchase infants.
Direction: Julie overhears The Operator’s online meetings.
Reveal 8/Twist: Julie discovers The Operator’s diabolical plan: She’s selling transhuman infants.
Overt: Julie’s baby is listed for bid with the same identifier number as on her wrist identifier band.
Overt: Julie learns what the Catalog is.
Overt: the Operator takes her USB cable out of her pocket and plugs herself into a charging device.
Mystery 14: Julie finds emails coming in from purchase requests with specifications for exactly which kind of transhuman infant they’re looking for.
Villain’s Plan 11: The Operator Zooms with the corporation and lies about losing assets, fake emotional – the corporation is about auctioning infants to wealthy parents. But her objective doesn’t align with theirs.
Villain’s Plan 12: On a second Zoom call, the Operator is running another business, a super-secret transhuman infant-selling ring. Why?
Direction: Julie finds a way to call out.
Twist: Her father thinks she’s pranking him – he buried his daughter and his wife.
Mystery 15: Desperate Julie finds The Facility’s address and a way to call outside.
Reveal 9/Mystery 16: Her father answers but thinks it’s a cruel prank because they buried his daughter. She gives him the address/she says something (about the accident, she killed her mother?) that should pique his interest, but it doesn’t and he hangs up on her.
Direction: Julie starts to have labor pains.
Twist: She watches the Operator plug herself into electronic equipment.
Life threatening 13: Julie has worse labor pains and takes steps to keep herself and her baby safe.
Mystery 17: Julie hides and when the Operator comes back and Julie watches her plug into electronics and go “offline”.
Red Herring’s Plan 5: Julie sneaks back to her room. Peters is waiting.
Direction: Julie asks Peters what’s up with the operator?
Reveal 10/Twist #: The Operator is transhuman A.I. posing as human and is creating trans-human infants.
Reveal 11/Red Herring’s Plan 6: What’s up with The Operator? Peters confesses that the Operator is
Red Herring’s Plan 7: The Operator had threatened to kill Peters’ family if he didn’t cooperate so to protect them he left them behind and joined The Facility. He wants to go home.
Direction: The Operator discovers Peters lied about Julie and takes the key card away.
Distrust: Peters tells the Operator that Julie stole his key card.
Reveal 12/Trust: Peters has taken the missing employee’s keycard and leaves it with Julie.
TURNING POINT 2:
Life threatening 14: The Operator discovers Julie’s not in her room.
Life threatening 15: The Operator had suspected Peters, Julie’s only ally, questions him.
Reveal 13/Twist: The Operator kills Peters.
Covert: The Operator’s scissors stick out of Peters’ temple; he’s dead, of course.
Covert: Cleaners stuff Peters into a laundry bin.
Life threatening 16: The Operator catches Julie.
Reveal 14/Twist: Julie’s baby will be turned into a transhuman.
CLIMAX: The Operator has a failsafe.
Life threatening 18: The Operator catches Julie and takes her to the O.R. to harvest her infant.
Covert: The Operator has an O.R. prepped.
Overt: The Operator tells Julie she has big plans for her.
Life threatening 19: The Operator will put Julie back in the coma and continue to use her as a breeder. Reveal 15/Twist: Julie has birthed 5 children over the years.
Direction: Julie is being put back into a coma.
Twist: Julie fights back, escapes.
Reveal 16/Life threatening 20: Julie wrecks equipment, escapes the O.R., The Operator and other health workers and security guards in pursuit.
Trust: The Operator gaslights Julie and it appears Julie falls for it.
Distrust: She chases her, tries to capture her.
Trust: She says keeping Julie locked down will be good for her baby.
Distrust: Julie’s too much trouble and The Operator will kill her after the baby’s delivered.
Life threatening 21: The Operator threatens to blow up the facility and kill all the babies so as to leave no evidence.
Julie disables The Operator and the Workers and Security take over and tear her apart cog by cog.
Reveal 17/Direction: Julie makes it outside the building.
Twist: The Operator follows her, catches her, Julie kills her.
Direction: Alone and about to give birth, Julie makes it to the front gate.
Twist: Her father arrives with police and ambulances
Twist: Something Julie had told her father about her mother rang true.
RESOLUTION: Julie’s father and police break into The Facility and free Julie.
Twist: Something she said rang true.
– Julie’s father, the police and ambulances arrive. The Caretakers will be debriefed. Infants taken to shelter, coma patients evaluated/released/hospitalized. Julie and her baby go home with her father.
Mystery18: But what will happen to the transhuman infants?
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David Wickenden Misdirection
What I have learned?
By having the audience looking one way, when the reveal to the mystery happens, it is that much more of a surprise.
1. Effective misdirection
· Red Herring: During the entire script, we believe that the cult leader is the enemy, but it reveals during the climax that he is trying to avert disaster.
· The Villain’s Plan: The mother puts the blame on the cult leader by saying the cult leader is trying to raise a demon while it is her that is attempting to do this.
· Coverup as reality: Because of the violent actions of the cult, we assume he is the bad guy. It is further reenforced by the mother’s explanation, which is only partially true.
2. In my Thriller map:
a. I use the Character Misdirection by having the cult leader’s action make the audience assume he is evil.
b. I use the Dialog Misdirection through the mother’s explanation.
Updated Thriller map with Misdirection added.
Opening – Michael drives to cabin.
Mystery 1: New neighbors—woman and her teen daughter. Everything is peaceful. TWIST.
Mystery 2: Shooting and screaming. The peace is broken.
Inciting Incident: Women show up being Michael to help them. Armed men chasing them. Trust mother Reveal 1
Second thoughts: Michael wants to get a hold of the police. Woman warns him that the cult has control of the police. Reveal 2
Life Threatening 1: cult members shooting at Michael and the women. Distrust cult leader Misdirection – gunfire is directed at women – Not Michael
Villain’s Plan 1: To get the women by any means, even killing. Clue 1a – Cult leader yells that the women are not who he thinks they are. That they will use Michael and destroy him.
Mystery 3: What is so important about the women that the cult will kill for them? Clue 1b
Life Threatening 2: chased through the woods. Distrust cult leader
Mystery 4: Why are the cult members planting drugs and dead body in Michael’s cabin. TWIST. Cops are after law abiding Michael.
Villain’s Plan 2: Frame Michael so that cops get in the hunt for fugitives. Distrust cult leader Reveal 3
Climax of Act 1 – Michael has to kill one of the cult members with his hatchet.
Overnight in a quick shelter that Michael builds. Woman explains what the cult wants. Sacrifice the girl, who is a virgin, to gain power over a demon. = Misdirection
Mystery 5: Girl has a spasm. What wrong with her? Distrust mother Clue 2a
Mystery 6: Where is Michael taking them? – forest fire smoke tower for short-wave radio. TWIST possible rescue becomes life threatening. Reveal 5
Life threatening: Police show up at the tower and at first attempt to arrest Michael, then the rogue cop shoots and now they are being chased by two different groups. TWIST Reveal 6
Life threatening: Michael has to zipline to escape from tower. Reveal 7
Cops and cult members have shootout until a rogue cop kills his partner with a spare gun. TWIST. Now Michael will be blamed for killing cop. Distrust cult leader
Villain’s Plan 3: Run Michael and the girls down. Give chase. Clue 1C
Mystery 7: Something hunting through the bush. What is hunting them? Kills two cult members and they have to regroup. TWIST. Michael has new ally. Reveal 4 – partial
Michael and mother have a moment in sugar-bush cabin, while daughter is asleep. Trust mother Clue 3a Ends with daughter having another spasm. Clue 2b
Mystery 8: screams echo through the night? Reveal 4 – Partial
Mystery 9: Michael has a vivid dream (dark sexual with mother. TWIST. In dream he sees daughter watching them, smiling with desire) Distrust Mother Reveal 9 Clue 3b
Midpoint Twist: Michael and the women find a bunch of cult followers ripped to shreds, body parts hanging from trees. TWIST. Something else is in the bush with them. Reveal 4 – Partial
Villain’s Plan 4: Starts forest fire to drive Michael and women towards shooters. Distrust cult leader Clue 1b
Life threatening: Race from fire, coughing from smoke, blurred vision from smoke.
TWIST. Hide in stream under rushing water- fire rushes past them. Trusts mother
Mystery 10: More screaming in the night—Daughter once again spasm and then is unconscious. Clue 2c Michael takes them to a cave he used to camp at. Girl is out of it. Reveal 4 – Partial
Dry out in the cave. Finds an ancient spear. Reveal 10 Clue 4a
Mystery 11: Where did the spear come from? Mother is repulsed by spear. Clue 4b Examines the spear – Clue 4c
Michael dreams of rough dark sex, but this time, both mother and daughter take part. Distrust mother Reveal 9 – partial Clue 3c
Mystery 11: TWIST. Michael wakes naked, claw marks on his skin. What happened? Reveal 11
Mystery 12: Where did the women go?
Disaster – 2<sup>nd</sup> Big Twist
Michael leaves the cave to find women captured and the cult surrounding the clearing before the cave. Reveal 12
Villain’s Plan: Cult leader begins telling Michael that not all is as it seems. That the daughter must die or else everyone on earth will die. They had wanted power, but the dark lord wanted something else. TWIST. The daughter’s father is Satan and she has come to bring hell to earth. Her having sex with Michael has woken the evil within her. Distrust mother Reveal 9 Full
Climax of Act 2
Life threatening: The monster from the forest attacks the cult members, tearing them apart. Michael breaks free as daughter transforms into she-devil. She, and her mother fight with father who unleashes with arcane powers. trust cult leader/ Distrust mother Reveal 4 – Full, Reveal 14
Life threatening: Michael retrieves the spear and uses it on the monster when it’s attention is on the cult leader. Killing it affects the daughter, and she weakens. trust cult leader/ Distrust mother
Life threatening: TWIST. Michael now has to fight those he protected. Mother attacks Michael to protect her daughter. With no choice, he kills the mother, causing the daughter to go crazy, unleashing dark shadow monsters at Michael. trust cult leader/ Distrust mother Reveal 15
Life threatening: Michael and wounded cult leader work together to lift spear in time to impale she-devil, killing her. trust cult leader/ Distrust mother
Life threatening: A violent storm erupts, like a mini-cyclone, and both men must grab surrounding trees to hang on.
When wind dies down, both women and dead cult members are gone.
Mystery: The cult leader explains that this is an on-going battle. The forces of evil will be back in one more year. TWIST. It’s not over! “The devil demands his due. He’ll be targeting both of us.” Reveal 16
They stagger out of the bush together. trust cult leader
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Mariannjely Misdirects…When Appropriate!
What I learned doing this assignment is that a thriller benefits from some planted misdirection’s that will keep the audience engaged in the mystery but without overcomplicating the search for answers.
Opening: A woman screams from inside a wine barrel until the screams stop.
Life threating: a woman was locked and left to die inside a barrel.
Overt Clue: Screams are heard. Women’s voice.
Mystery: Who is she?
Mystery: Why is she inside a barrel?
Clue misdirection: opening scene we hear a woman screaming inside a barrel. The audience might think this is what will happen to our protagonist.
Inciting Incident: Ariana accepts a summer program invitation and travels to the U.S from Venezuela.
Villain’s plan: there is a website with testimonials and great pictures for the program. All expenses paid.
Life threating. Overt Clue: Ariana’s roommates mention the danger of going to another country where you don’t know anybody else.
Overt Clue: Talk about the beauty standards in Venezuela.
Intrigue. Covert Clue: Participants in the program are all beautiful foreign women, between 18-26.
Intrigue. Overt Clue: Ariana’s passport is taken away at the vineyard’s entrance.
Villain’s plan: keep the passport safe.
Intrigue. Overt Clue: Everybody in the vineyard is monitored 24/7.
Intrigue. Overt Clue: No phone service.
Villain’s plan: location is too remote for service. Very happy employees. Karen is extra accommodating and nice.
Mystery: What’s Karen intentions?
TRUST: Karen is the owner of a prestigious Vineyard. She is nice and overaccommodating.
Covert Clue: Karen looks as young as she can be.
DISTRUST: She takes Ariana’s passport.
TRUST: Karen tours the vineyard. The employees seem to love her.
TRUST: Nick gives Ariana pointers about how to impress Karen.
TRUST: Karen acknowledges Ariana’s talent with wine in front of everyone.
Intrigue. Overt Clue: There is an area off limits.
Intrigue. Overt Clue: Participants get their blood drawn.
Cover Clue: A woman is sent home because of STDs.
Intrigue: Karen’s right-hand flirts with Ariana.
Twist: Karen’s right hand, 20 years younger, is Karen’s secret lover.
Character misdirection: Nick seems like a man who just wants sex, but he’s trying to protect Ariana, and himself.
Turning Point 1: Ariana tastes the popular wine at the tasting night.
Villain’s plan: tasting night where clients can see the new women in the program.
Life threating: Ariana starts asking questions about the wine.
Intrigue. Overt Clue: Ariana gets a rare taste of the wine she can’t explain.
Mystery: What’s in the wine?
Intrigue. Covert Clue: the clientele is all prestigious women 40+ years old.
Covert Clue: Clientele conversation revolves about looking young.
Life threating. Overt Clue: Karen visits the off-limits area, where women are locked.
Twist: The wine has blood in it.
Dialogue misdirection: You know what they say, aging like fine wine.
Midpoint: Ariana finds a body in a barrel. She is locked in a room.
Life threating: Ariana goes to the off-limits area.
Life threating: Ariana finds the body of the girl who was “Sent home”
Mystery: why was she killed?
Life threating: Karen’s right-hand sees Ariana find the body.
Twist: He wants to help Ariana. He’s also a victim.
DISTRUST: Ariana finds a body of Kathy. Nick killed her.
TRUST: Nick opens up to Ariana about being an orphan. They bond.
TRUST: Nick tells Ariana what’s happening in the Vineyard. He’s a victim too.
DISTRUST: He shows her the area where women are locked.
Reveal: human trafficking in the vineyard. Woman are made to donate their blood with the purpose to add it to an anti-aging popular woman.
TRUST: …They make a plan together to escape.
Villain’s plan: Karen has been watching them in the cameras all along.
Turning Point 2: Ariana is locked by Karen and makes a deal with her.
Life threating: Ariana finds the area where women are locked. She is set to meet with Karen’s right hand.
Twist: Karen shows up instead. She killed the young man.
Mystery: Karen didn’t care about the young man.
Villain’s plan: Karen locks Ariana in room.
DISTRUST: Karen locks Ariana in a room.
TRUST: Ariana makes a deal with Karen. She’ll help her find new young foreign women.
DISTRUST: Karen warns her she’ll be dead if she betrays her.
Life threating: Ariana is locked in a room.
Life threating. Twist. Ariana offers a partnership deal with Karen. She’ll help her get more women as exchange of her life.
Life threating: Karen tells her if Ariana tries to betray her, she is dead.
Villain’s plan: Use Ariana to get more clients from Latin America.
Life threating: Ariana plays the game with Karen and get to know her, also her employees.
Intrigue. Overt Clue: The Hispanic employees are scared of Karen.
Climax: Ariana fights Karen for her life.
DISTRUST: Ariana calls the police. The police show up revealing Karen bought them.
DISTRUST: Karen goes after Ariana, to kill her.
Life threating: Ariana betrays Karen contacts the police.
Life threating: the police show up.
Twist: Police in the town works for Karen.
Life threating: Karen locks Ariana again.
Twist: The employees turn to Karen and help Ariana.
Life threating: Vineyard burns. Ariana fights Karen.
Resolution: The vineyard burns alongside Karen, Ariana survives. She receives a U visa to stay in the United States. She becomes a sommelier.
Intrigue: a client has requested Ariana for her table.
Overt Clue: Client has red hair, just like Karen.
Twist: Karen’s daughter who was in Europe is back, and knows what Ariana did.
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KEN CALLAWAY MISDIRECTS… WHEN APPROPRIATE
What I learned… As “when appropriate” is the crux of this assignment, I learned I will have to elevate a few character misdirects and will need to bury some of the writer misdirects. This should (again, hopefully) allow my character’s actions to proactively push the story rather than being lead through the story as its realities are transposed.
· Main Mystery 1: Who is Kevin Frye?
· Overt Clue: Kevin the mystery baby in first scene
· Overt Clue: Imagines he’s a fairy hunter, is he?
· Covert Clue: Is Kevin blind or going blind?
· Overt Clue: Is he even Mae’s son?
· Covert Clue: Could Kevin be a fairy?
· Main Mystery 2: Is Genevieve Oakwood a fairy?
· Covert Clue: How does she know Kevin?
· Covert Clue: Does she know what is going on at Oakwood?
· Covert Clue: Did she kill her sister?
· Overt Clue: Is Genevieve Genevieve?
· Overt Clue: How does she know she & Kevin are on the same path?
· Covert Clue: Is Genevieve insane?
· Main Mystery 3: What is the connection between the two?
· Overt Clue: Are they actually on the same path?
· Covert Clue: Can what Kevin has seen be believed?
· Overt Clue: Will Kevin and Genevieve lead the war against humankind?
LIST OF MAIN CHARACTERS
· Hero: Kevin Frye
· Villain: Genevieve Oakwood
· Red Herring Character: Hugh “Hux” Huxley
· Trusted but shouldn’t be: Genevieve Oakwood
· Isn’t trusted, but should be: JRR “Tolly” Tolkien
CHARACTER’S BASIC STATE
· Hero: Kevin Frye – Trustworthy
· Villain: Genevieve Oakwood – Untrustworthy
· Red Herring Character: Hugh “Hux” Huxley – Trustworthy
· Trusted but shouldn’t be: Mae Frye, mother – Untrustworthy
· Isn’t trusted, but should be: JRR “Tolly” Tolkien – Trustworthy
HOW TRUST and DISTRUST UNFOLDS
· Hero / Villain: The deeper Kevin Falls for Genevieve the less he can trust her
· Hero / Red Herring: Kevin discovers Hux is actually fighting against the fairies
· Hero / Trusted but shouldn’t be: As the story progresses the Kevin learns that his blood pits him against humankind
· Hero / Isn’t trusted, but should be: When Kevin learns his true nature he has no choice but to join the fairies
OPENING: Three frightening nurses hand a young woman an infant with bloody, bandaged eyes during London’s blitz bombings.
· Life threatening 1: Will the boy live?
· Mystery 1: Who is the child? Who is the woman? Who are the nurses?
· Trust: The woman seems caring
· Distrust: The nurses seem otherworldly
· Reveal 1: As the woman turns away she seems uncaring – Covered up by her initial response.
· Direction: Woman leaves with child
· Intrigue: Where is she going?
· Twist: The building falls on nurses
· Mystery 2: The boy, now twelve years wears an eye-patch
· Overt Clue: Kevin the mystery baby in first scene
· Intrigue: He and three others sail an old boat through a crashing storm
· Trust: Kevin seems sympathetic
· Direction: Boys are in a dire struggle
· Trust: They appear to be brave
· Reveal 3: Boat is not at sea – Covered up by perspective & action
· Reveal 4: The boat is in a muddy, urban scrap yard – perspective & action
· Intrigue: The four are just playing in the rain. Where are their parents?
· Mystery 3: Kevin plays a different game; he’s a fairy hunter, they are pirates
· Intrigue: What is his obsession with fairies?
· Overt Clue: Imagines he’s a fairy hunter, is he?
· Direction: The others object, the game gets dangerous
· Reveal 5: Kevin pulls a real knife (“Fairy Hunter”) on his friends – Covered up we expected wood swords
· Intrigue: – Kevin takes game too seriously
· Intrigue: – Kevin almost loses his only eye then falls overboard
· Covert Clue: Is Kevin blind or going blind?
· Distrust: They don’t like Kevin’s game
· Twist: Kevin pops up, out of the mud
· Reveal 6: He’s okay, smiling – Covered up as he was hit very hard
· Clue Misdirection (character): Kevin’s still playing the Fairy Hunter game
· Twist: His friends are elated
· Trust: Even though they were playing rough Kevin stays positive, fun
· Direction: A priest, Father John (Tolkien) convinces Kevin’s mother, Mae to send him to the scout jamboree at Oakwood Green
· Distrust: Why is it so important to his mother for Kevin to go?
· Twist: Kevin thanks his mother
· Covert Clue: Is he even Mae’s son?
· Reveal 7: Kevin is scared – he does not want to go – Covered up as he appeased his mother
· Clue Misdirection (character): Kevin pretends to be happy with the trip
· Direction: Kevin and his friends board the transport truck
· Direction: Kevin’s friends half-heartedly convince him it will be fun – “maybe you can hunt fairies there.”
· Twist: Kevin takes the dig then excitedly calls a warning to the fairies from the transport truck. His friends laugh.
· Clue Misdirection (character): What does Tolly know about Kevin?
INCITING INCIDENT: The priest’s father, JRR “Tolly” Tolkien arrives to hear Kevin’s cry to the fairies then spouts parallel fairy lore. Kevin’s interest is now more than piqued. Tolly had agreed to tell scary fireside stories for the week-long outing.
· Direction: On the ride to the jamboree Kevin and his friends begin having fun
· Twist: Older scouts from a different pack ‘Hux,’ ‘Pisser’ and ‘Ace’ bully Kevin
· Distrust: Hux has it out for Kevin
· Direction: Scouts arrive in the village of Droitwich
· Reveal 8: Kevin can’t find his kitbag, his father’s knife is gone – Covered up as he was sitting on it
· Mystery 4: Did Hux take it?
· Clue Misdirection (writer): Hux does have Kevin’s knife
· Distrust: Kevin thinks Hux is to blame
· Mystery 5: Kevin is distracted by intriguing mystery girl. She taunts him then slips into a sweets shop
· Covert Clue: How does she know Kevin?
· Direction: Kevin’s and his friends enter the shop
· Trust: Kevin’s friends play along with him
· Twist: The girl has vanished and the strange shopkeeper claims she didn’t see the girl
· Distrust: The shopkeeper appears to be lying
· Direction: Kevin presses the shopkeeper
· Reveal 9: The shopkeeper knows something – Covered up, she had to have seen the girl
· Mystery 6: she gets spooked, abruptly asks them to leave
· Twist: Kevin exits last. The shopkeeper gives Kevin a dire warning about the girl
· Reveal 10: There is a connection between Kevin and the girl
· Distrust: Kevin feels threatened
· Direction: The scouts begin setting up camp, Kevin sneaks back to the village to find the girl – to no avail
· Twist: On the way back to Oakwood Kevin is followed by small, frightening fairies
· Clue Misdirection (writer): Fairies run/jump like rabbits
· Intrigue: Kevin begins running, gets turned around
· Direction: Kevin sees a girl riding a horse in the distance
· Distrust: The girl ignores Kevin
· Twist: He follows the rider to Oakwood Manor as the fairies chase him
· Direction: Kevin is panicked, out of breath is closing in on the rider
· Twist: Native American priest, Father Fox stops Kevin then sends him back to camp
· Distrust: Father Fox changes Kevin’s trajectory
· Direction: Kevin missed the first day’s craft activity; making a longbow
· Twist: The scouts must use their bows in the first night’s scout challenge
· Direction: Hux taunts Kevin knowing he did not make a bow. Tolly has Kevin use Jacko’s bow
· Distrust: Tolly knows Kevin will not win the game
· Twist: With great difficulty Kevin draws the arrow back, drops it then dry fires – the bow breaks
· Direction: Tolly has Kevin borrow Hux’s larger, much stronger bow
· Distrust: Tolly knows the stronger bow creates a greater challenge
· Twist: After several attempts Kevin can’t fully draw the string. He shoots at a close rock, ricochets the arrow, and wins the challenge
· Trust: Tolly’s faith in Kevin builds
· Direction: Kevin and Hux are assigned to dig a latrine. Hux walks off leaves Kevin to do the work
· Distrust: Hux abandons Kevin
· Twist: While digging Kevin finds what appears to be his Fairy Hunter knife under a rune stone
· Reveal 11: Fairies are real – one appears from the hole – Covered up as it was just Kevin’s imagination
TURNING POINT 1: Kevin accidentally kills the fairy
· Direction: Kevin yells, Hux returns to find Kevin crying, holding something
· Trust: Hux appears concerned
· Twist: Kevin shows Hux the dead fairy
· Reveal 12: Hux says he sees a rabbit – Covered up as we see the fairy
· Clue Misdirection (writer): Hux sees the truth
· Distrust: Hux is lying, threatening Kevin
· Mystery 7: Why can’t Hux see the fairy?
· Direction: Hux attempts to take the “rabbit” back to camp
· Twist: Kevin fends off Hux, buries the fairy
· Direction: Back at camp Hux taunts Kevin as he tries to tell his friends about the dead fairy.
· Twist: Tolly interrupts Kevin
· Distrust: Tolly doesn’t believe Kevin’s story
· Villain’s Plan 1: Tolly’s first fireside tale describes an evil fairy named Genevieve that lures scouts to their demise
· Twist: Kevin is convinced his mystery girl is Tolly’s fairy
· Trust: Kevin believes Tolly’s story
· Mystery 8: Kevin sees scouts leaving camp, heading toward Oakwood Manor
· Direction: Kevin follows behind the scouts, sees girl riding horse across pasture
· Distrust: She’s not Kevin’s mystery girl
· Twist: Kevin stops the rider, asks if she is Genevieve
· Reveal 13: she points to the bramble nearby – Covered up as we see the mystery girl
· Direction: The mystery girl runs toward them, the horse spooks
· Distrust: Why would she purposefully jump between Kevin and the horse?
· Life Threatening 2: The horse goes crazy, strikes at Kevin repeatedly
· Direction: The horse kicks the girl
· Twist: Kevin fights the horse off, pulls girl to safety
· Trust: Mystery girl saved by Kevin
· Direction: The horse and rider run off
· Twist: Kevin helps the girl up, her left eye is bloodied
· Reveal 14: The girl introduces herself as Genevieve Oakwood – Covered up, she can’t possibly be the fairy Genevieve
· Clue Misdirection (character): Genevieve is a spoiled rich girl, out of Kevin’s league
· Direction: Kevin helps Genevieve to Oakwood Manor
· Reveal 15: Kevin is met by two odd nurses – Covered up the grand manor now seems institutional
· Distrust: Kevin is unnerved by the nurses
· Covert Clue: Does she know what is going on at Oakwood?
· Twist: Genevieve tells the nurses her sister tried to kill Kevin then is quickly whisked away
· Distrust: Kevin is unsure the rider tried to hurt/kill him
MIDPOINT
· Direction: Left alone, Kevin searches through the house
· Reveal 16: Kevin sees a horribly disfigured (dead?) man lying back in a dental chair being tended by a nurse – Covered up as the room is hidden away
· Distrust: The shocking sight panics Kevin
· Life Threatening 3: Oldfather Oakwood is rejuvenated as the nurse “assembles” (transforms) him
· Reveal 17: Oldfather sees Kevin – Covered up as Oldfather is very much alive
· Direction: Kevin runs to a great hall
· Reveal 18: He sees the family elders leading scouts into a hidden cavern below the manor – Covered up as the scouts are all here
· Distrust: Everything at Oakwood seems evil
· Direction: Kevin runs from Oakwood, back to the camp
· Twist: Scoutmasters, Martin and Beatrice Shipley don’t listen to Kevin send him to peel potatoes with Jacko and Danny
· Distrust: The Shipleys don’t believe Kevin, say Father John said this might happen
· Direction: Kevin asks where Jim is. Jim may be missing, Hux interrupts them
· Twist: Kevin snaps at him and Hux cuts Kevin’s hand
· Direction: The camp war games begin, Kevin’s group is paired with Hux’s group
· Twist: The group wins the camp-wide war games championship, get invited to Oakwood Manor for a dinner
· Trust: Hux appears to warm up to Kevin, apologizes
· Direction: The scouts begin the next craft, neckerchief woggles. Kevin carves a wood woggle with his new-found rune knife – cuts himself, the wound heals
· Twist: Father Fox trades his “magic” carved bone woggle for Kevin’s woggle
· Clue Misdirection (writer): Woggle is not magic
· Trust: Father Fox appreciated Kevin’s talents, notices Kevin’s cut is gone
· Direction: Tolly delivers another scary fireside story, a small group of rangers fighting a band of fairies (ranger knife vs. hunter knife)
· Distrust; Kevin thinks that Tolly knows more than he is letting on
· Twist: Kevin enlists his friends to find Jim
· Direction: Kevin, Jacko and Danny look around the expansive camp for Jim
· Twist: Hux stalks them through the darkness
· Distrust: Kevin believes Hux may be involved in the disappearances
· Direction: Kevin theorizes Jim may have been taken to Oakwood Manor
· Twist: Kevin asks his friends to help him search for Jim during the Oakwood dinner
· Direction: Hux overhears them
· Life Threatening 4: At the Oakwood Manor dinner Kevin follows Hux, gets separated from his friends
· Reveal 19: Kevin discovers Genevieve’s sister is dead, stabbed – Covered up, she’s hidden in closet
· Covert Clue: Did Genevieve kill her sister?
· Distrust: Kevin believes Genevieve may have killed her
· Direction: Kevin runs into Hux
· Trust: Kevin reluctantly relays his fears
· Twist: Hux tells Kevin he is a ranger hunting fairies
· Trust: Hux tries to give Kevin back his knife
· Twist: Kevin tells him to keep it
· Villain’s Plan 2: Kevin overhears fairy elders discussing the looming war with humankind
· Mystery 9: Kevin tells Tolly about Jim, Genevieve and the fairy’s plan. Tolly discovers Kevin is almost blind, can’t truly trust what Kevin has “seen”
· Covert Clue: Can what Kevin has seen be believed?
· Direction: Tolly tells Kevin that Jim’s parents picked him up for an emergency trip to India.
· Distrust: Kevin doesn’t believe him and runs away
· Direction: Halfway across the pasture Kevin stops, turns back meets Genevieve, he tells her everything
· Twist: They find Hux, he’s been stabbed
· Reveal 20: Hux was stabbed with Kevin’s knife – Covered up, could Kevin be a suspect?
· Life Threatening 5: Genevieve admits to killing her sister and Hux to protect Kevin
· Twist: Genevieve tells Kevin he is the blood fairy king
· Direction: Genevieve tells Kevin they have always been on the same path
· Overt Clue: How does she know she & Kevin are on the same path?
· Covert Clue: Are they actually on the same path?
· Twist: Genevieve tells Kevin he was adopted
· Distrust: Genevieve’s “path” story matches the shopkeepers
· Direction: Kevin runs away, heads back to camp
· Trust: Kevin enlists the help of the Shipleys
· Direction: The Shipleys take Kevin back to Oakwood
· Twist: They speak to the two nurses who call Oldfather Oakwood
TURNING POINT 2: Oldfather tells the Shipleys that Genevieve is actually Grace Greene, a blind patient at Oakwood Asylum
· Overt Clue: Is Genevieve Genevieve?
· Covert Clue: Is Genevieve insane?
· Reveal 21: Kevin is now completely blind – Covered up, he’s been working hard to keep it a secret
· Direction: The Shipleys take Kevin back to camp
· Trust: Kevin opens up to the Shipleys
· Distrust: Kevin asks about Jim’s parents and the trip to India, they don’t remember anyone named Jim
· Villain’s Plan 3: Kevin stumbles around camp searching for his friends, they are all missing – “the war” has begun
· Direction: Tolly finds Kevin and leads him to the truck
· Distrust: Hands Kevin his kitbag
· Distrust: Kevin knows his kitbag was lost
· Reveal 22: Kevin is on the wrong truck, there are no scouts, just gear – Covered up, perspective & timing.
· Clue Misdirection (writer): Kevin’s friends are on an adjacent truck
· Mystery 10: On the ride home Kevin replays everything he had seen
· Trust: Tolly was right, Kevin could have imagined it all
· Direction: Kevin realizes he could have been mistaken about everything
· Reveal 23: The fairies chasing him were rabbits, the fairy he killed – a rabbit, Genevieve’s “dead” sister was a large doll, Oldfather’s transformation, Hux’s body, the missing scouts… everything including Genevieve – Covered up, all this was imagined
· Mystery 11: Now home, Kevin’s life is sitting around the house
· Reveal 24: Kevin sits with his blind, catatonic father – Covered up, assumed his father was just blind
· Direction: Kevin feeds his father
· Twist: Wipes his face and puts his father’s mask on
· Direction: Kevin asks his father “Who am I? Am I adopted?”
· Overt Clue: Is he even Mae’s son?
· Reveal 25: Kevin’s mother sits next to them answers, “He doesn’t know.” Covered up, perspective & timing
· Mystery 12: Kevin asks his mother about his true origin, the three nurses and their fairy stories
· Direction: His mother says “Kevin you were not adopted”
· Reveal 26: She says “You were given to me.” Covered up, assumed that Kevin was her child
· Mystery 13: A postman drops a letter through the mail slot
· Direction: Kevin’s mother says the letter is from Tolly, Kevin is elated
· Twist: She “reads” it saying it was from someone named Tolly. “He hopes you are well. He says he always wanted to believe in fairies, but they are not real.”
· Direction: His mother sets the letter down
· Reveal 27: The letter is from Oakwood Asylum – Kevin has been accepted as a patient – Covered up as Kevin is blind
· Life Threatening 6: Kevin’s mother takes him to Oakwood Asylum
· Covert Clue: Could Kevin be a fairy?
· Direction: Oldfather Oakwood greets Mae and Kevin then calls for an escort to show Kevin around the grounds
· Reveal 28: His escort, Grace Green takes his hand – Covered up, Kevin is blind
· Trust: Kevin asks her name
· Reveal 29: She answers – “Genevieve.” Covered up, assumed she is actually Grace Greene
· Clue Misdirection (character): Genevieve is Genevieve Oakwood
CLIMAX: Kevin in the great hall sits back in the dental chair
· Direction: Oldfather watches as the nurses “assemble” Kevin with new eyes
· Twist: Genevieve looks on
RESOLUTION: Oldfather and the three nurses, as in the first scene, wrap Kevin’s eyes
· Direction: Oakwood Asylum, a grand hall.
· Reveal 30: Kevin and Genevieve sit in matching thrones, smiling, looking into each other’s eyes
· Distrust/Intrigue: Will Kevin and Genevieve lead the fairies against mankind?
· Overt Clue: Kevin and Genevieve will lead the war against humankind
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Norene Misdirects…When Appropriate!
What I learned is that in going through the map looking for misdirections, I have made the villain Gabby too obvious and conflicted. And I am not sure her plan is the perfect obstacle that the hero Archer has to face. Reconfiguration yet again until it makes a bit more sense. On-going devious planning…
MISDIRECTIONS:
Red Herring Character: Henry
• He refuses to talk about his wife and the argument he had with her before her death
• He hides wife’s letters to her children
• He does not reveal wife’s connection to Jiggers Remorse
• He does not reveal past relationship with Gabby
2. Red Herring: Villagers of Jiggers Remorse
• They warn tourists away from the barrens and limestone cliffs for public safety
• Their traditions and superstitious beliefs make them appear suspicious
• Their insular way of life make them unwelcoming to outsiders
3. Villain’s Plan: Gabby
• She invites Henry to return to Jiggers Remorse to support project to have the area declared national heritage site.
• She makes plans to establish an Eco-Adventure business to bring economic stability to the village.
• She makes several attempts to reconcile with her mother and the villagers
• She befriends Archer and Rowan
4. Mystery Coverups:
a. What does Gabby want from Henry and his family?
• She encourages their dependance on her.
• She encourages their friendship and affection and trust.
• Vandalism at the Eco-Adventure Centre casts suspicion on angry locals.
• She reveals that Henry is Talulah’s father.
b. What happened to Maeve Quinn?
• Henry let the children believe Maeve died in a car accident.
• Gabby tells children stories of their mother and their close friendship growing up in the village.
• The villagers are tightlipped, denying knowledge of Maeve.
c. What is the secret of Jiggers Remorse?
• Mysterious happenings on the barrens and rumours of a predator killing house pets.
• Plan to have the area declared a delicate eco-system and closed to the public to protect it.
• Visitors are required to use guides while hiking on the island.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Norene Smiley.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by
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Misdirection = she thinks Chu is the villain and that Sandy is working with him when actually they are trying to stop the situation.
Thinks Janelle is her friend when actually she set her up.
Thinks her ex wants to harangue her when he wants to warn her.
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Maggie Tsavaris Misdirects . . . when appropriate! (Assignment 13)
What I learned is: This is a good time during the Thriller Map creation to think about misdirection, which I started brainstorming about when I was working on the previous assignment about clues.
Misdirection woven into the thriller map:
OPENING (p. 1): Leyla is at a café hidden away on a backstreet in Erbil, Iraq. She is drinking tea and talking with an Iraqi man, Amir. REVEAL 1: Mystery–Who is the Lebanese man on his phone across the street? Intrigue—Why did he just hand his phone to another man and walk toward the café? TWIST: A bomb goes off inside the café. TRUST/DISTRUST: The Lebanese man, Haasim, rescues Leyla. DISTRUST (and CLUE that Haasim targeted Linguist Leyla to procure for him, under false pretenses, highly classified info—the names of U.S. informants): How convenient that a knight in shining armor happens to be there to rescue her. Leyla sees Amir escape uninjured. Leyla and Haasim exchange numbers.
♦ Back at the base, Leyla is translating a document from Arabic into English at a computer in the linguists’ office when Haasim texts her (on Signal) to see how she’s doing. They text back and forth.
♦ Lead Linguist, AJ, comes in with a document. Leyla quickly slips her phone into a desk drawer. AJ hands the page to Vivienne (“Viv”– Leyla’s friend and fellow linguist) and tells her “Need your speed on this one.”
♦ Leyla and Vivienne are at lunch in the DFAC on base. REVEAL 2: Intrigue—Why is Vivienne flirting with several guys who pass by? Is she sleeping with them? Reveal later to Leyla that she wants to enjoy life while she can in case her ovarian cancer, for which she underwent chemo a year ago before her latest deployment, doesn’t stay in remission.
♦ Haasim texts to ask Leyla to join him for dinner in town. Vivienne sees Leyla’s sudden smile and asks her if she’s making up with her daughter. Leyla tells her no. Vivienne asks what’s up. Leyla plays coy, gives Vivienne sparse details about Haasim.
♦ Leyla texts Haasim how difficult it is to get permission to leave the base for non-work-related reasons.
♦ TRUST: Her friend, Vivienne tells Leyla how good it would be for her to start dating, have a little fun, find “your person” amid the chaos, good for the soul. DISTRUST: Viv obviously practices what she preaches, but will this get Leyla into trouble—after all, she just met this Lebanese guy (who she knows nothing about) during an explosion at a café while talking with perhaps a local informant.
INCITING INCIDENT (p. 11): TWIST: Haasim is persistent and flirty, so Leyla decides to go to her onsite manager for permission.
♦ She gets a plate of cookies from the DFAC (dining facility).
♦ Leyla takes the cookies to her onsite manager, Kain, who is drinking from a thermos of coffee and whiskey and cleaning his favorite firearm. Jinx, his dog, is asleep under a desk covered in disorganized paperwork. Leyla sets the plate down on the desk.
♦ TWIST: Kain’s gun goes off, fortunately it’s aimed at the ceiling.
♦ DISTRUST & RED HERRING CHARACTER: Kain curses, takes another drink, notices the cookies, and samples one.
♦ He hasn’t really noticed Leyla, but she asks him for permission to leave the base. He tells her she can go, but for only two hours after shift.
♦ At a restaurant off-base for dinner, with Haasim’s bodyguards keeping watch from across the room. Leyla and Haasim are enjoying dessert. TWIST/TRUST & CLUE that Haasim is trying to win over Leyla just to get top secret info: Haasim tells Leyla how beautiful she is and he’s never met anyone like her. DISTRUST: Leyla is both flattered and unsure of whether he just wants to sleep with her.
♦ Next, in another TWIST: Haasim asks Leyla to get him the names and contact info for certain U.S. human assets/informants. TRUST OR DISTRUST: He tells her he wants to hire these skilled people and pay them 3 or 4 times what they’re probably trying to survive on now. He tells her that she must keep this entire dinner conversation top secret. REVEAL 3: Mystery—Is this really why he wants the names? Intrigue—what if he wants the names for evil reasons? Mystery—Will Leyla do this for him? Revealed for certain later.
♦ On return to the base, Vivienne asks Leyla how dinner was, and Leyla confides in Vivienne only the part about Haasim complimenting her. Vivienne tells Leyla that Haasim is only speaking the truth.
♦ TWIST: a vehicle suddenly lurches out of the darkness and swerves at them. Vivienne and Leyla have to leap out of the way. DISTRUST: They catch a glimpse of their boss, Kain, at the wheel, and his dog riding shotgun. MISDIRECTION/RED HERRING CHARACTER Kain.
♦ Later, Leyla FaceTimes her daughter. The conversation is strained as always.
TURNING POINT 1/BREAK INTO 2 (p. 25): Leyla asks Lead Linguist, AJ, to transfer her to the quieter graveyard shift. TRUST/DISTRUST: When Vivienne asks her why she wants the graveyard shift that everyone hates, [CLUE] Leyla says she needs a quiet office with fewer distractions so she can get more translation work accomplished. REVEAL: Mystery—uh oh, did she decide to get the names for Haasim? Revealed for certain later.
♦ Leyla translates a classified document and communicates with an asset named “Rick.”
♦ Leyla starts baking treats for the team leader and lead linguist and hanging around the office, even when her shift is over and returning before the next shift begins.
♦ Leyla confides in Viv that she (Leyla) does not want to grow old alone, and maybe she is enjoying her texts with Haasim and starting to imagine a future with him.
♦ Leyla accesses highly classified details about an asset known as “Jimmy” and writes it on a paper she pockets. After shift, she texts the details to Haasim, then slips the note under her mattress.
♦ DISTRUST: Vivienne begins to suspect that Leyla is up to something.
♦ TRUST: Vivienne cannot get in touch with one of their local assets, Amir (with whom Leyla was talking when the café was hit), and asks Leyla whether she has been in touch with him, but Leyla has not.
♦ At shift change, Vivienne sees a message come through on Leyla’s phone. DISTRUST: Vivienne sees that it’s from Haasim and he’s asking for Amir’s location.
♦ TWIST: Base is hit by a drone.
♦ Afterwards, Vivienne talks to Leyla about the text message from Haasim, but Leyla assures her that Haasim is doing this for a good purpose. REVEAL: Mystery–Viv asks how Leyla can know this. Intrigue–Leyla tells Viv she has to trust her gut, but Viv is unconvinced that Leyla can be objective about this man.
♦ DISTRUST: Vivienne goes to talk to Kain about her concerns.
♦ Bonfire on base with lots of alcohol and partying. I want a MISDIRECTION here so that Leyla jumps to conclusions or misunderstands an action Viv takes and mistakenly believes that she cannot trust Viv anymore.
MIDPOINT (p. 55): TRUST: Kain assigns Leyla and Vivienne to a mission off-base to take down insurgents. DISTRUST & REVEAL: Intrigue–Vivienne expresses a smidge of concern to Leyla about the skills of the local interpreter Kain sent with them. Mystery—Leyla asks her why. Suspense—Viv tells Leyla that the local interpreter’s Kurdish (Leyla speaks only Arabic and Viv speaks both Arabic and Kurdish) is off.
♦ Later, Vivienne is killed by mortar fire right in front of Leyla.
♦ DISTRUST & REVEAL: Mystery–Back at the base, Leyla has a heated exchange with Kain. Is he responsible? Intrigue–She blames him for his choice of a local interpreter who mistranslated radio chatter that probably got Vivienne killed. Mystery—who got Vivienne killed? Was it the local interpreter, was it actually Kain, was it just another unfortunate death in the field, or could it have been Haasim (because Viv was trying to caution Leyla and trying to warn Kain)?
♦ TWIST & REVEAL: Mystery–Kain is furious with her for accusing him of responsibility for Viv’s death, but is he responsible? Suspense–Kain threatens to reassign her to Afghanistan.
♦ Leyla must persuade Kain not to send her to Afghanistan. She does not want to lose Haasim.
♦ Kain tells her he needs someone to procure women and alcohol for a party, and Leyla tells him she’ll take care of it.
♦ Leyla recruits AJ who has connections in town, to help her. AJ wants to be in good stead with Kain because he likes going off base as often as possible, so he’s pleased to help Leyla with this project.
♦ TWIST: As AJ drives them from his cousin’s liquor store to a nightclub where prostitutes hang out, he suspects they’re being followed, so makes some crazy maneuvers and loses the tail.
♦ CLUE: Inside the nightclub, Leyla thinks she recognizes one of Haasim’s bodyguards from the restaurant lurking in the shadows. If Haasim finds out that she’s hiring prostitutes, he might call off their marriage, which Leyla couldn’t bear.
♦ She goes to talk to him, but he has disappeared. She runs into the parking lot and sees him jump into a car and drive off.
TURNING POINT 2/BREAK INTO 3 (p. 85): On the way back to the base, they stop at a market so Leyla can bake for Kain and AJ and some of the others.
♦ TWIST: An Iraqi woman comes up to Leyla and asks her if she knows anything about her husband, Amir, whom she hasn’t seen in two days. CLUE and REVEAL for later: Leyla hasn’t seen him since the café incident, but was sure he’d gotten away unscathed.
♦ DISTRUST: Leyla begins to suspect that Haasim is not using the details about these assets for peaceful purposes at all. Two of the assets have vanished, and Vivienne, who tried to warn her, is dead.
♦ TRUST/DISTRUST: Haasim tells Leyla he will marry her and give a life of wealth and comfort, and she will never be alone again.
♦ Much more to come as I flesh out Act 3.
CLIMAX: Leyla is arrested, and the FBI finds the note in Arabic hidden under her mattress.
DENOUEMENT (p. 108): Leyla is escorted to her prison cell. Meets her cell mate, Jolene. When Jolene asks her how long she’s in for, Leyla tells her 23 years.
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Lenore Bechtel misdirects when appropriate
I learned that a misdirect can add to viewers suspecting the Red Herring.
Shay’s heliocopter has no radio, and he didn’t have any way of alerting anyone about the boy’s being almost blown up. Buzz gets off the plane first, and Zayden has started directing him to his car before he glances back, sees Elijah, and is surprised. Misleads viewer to think he thought Elijah had been killed in the explosion.
When Janeen tells Elijah she prevented a crime without any remote-viewing help, she says she feels helpless about finding who’s trying to murder Elijah. “No doubt,” she says, “ the same rat who did in your dad and mom.” No one but Elijah had ever expected his mother was murdered, and he suspected Janeen did it. This misleads the viewer into thinking so too.
With this two additions, I believe I will have enough misdirects in my MIS.
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(Carl Gundestrup) Misdirects…When Appropriate!
What I learned:
In the assignment before this one, I discovered a great misdirection and added it in. It is a twist, a dead-end clue, and a misdirection that should be a great moment when revealed. My red herring needs work. She needs more time and development to be a good alternative to the villain. I have a lot of details to clean up during the actual scriptwriting phase. This whole thing would have been PERFECT if I had known how the entire story played out BEFORE I took this class.
Map:
1. Eric’s device can find the truth by asking the right question, causing the person to remember. It produces images and precisely measures blood pressure and heart rate to discern the truth versus lies.
2. The Neilsen’s have an incredibly loving and fun family relationship with Thor, Eric & Catherine. Eric and Thor are SOOO excited about little Kimberly’s upcoming birth. (Because of You, Neyo- Eric and Thor dancing before breakfast for Catherine. Thor pulls out mom’s chair– Ain’t no sunshine – In the car on the way to the airport.)
3. The veiled threat by John Salyer sets up – “Who would kill Eric to get his device?”
4. Bill Hancock is coerced into driving a truck into Eric’s Mercedes.
5. Bill Hancock’s face says, “This is not who I was supposed to hit.”
6. Eric gives Catherine a “Priesthood blessing” in the ambulance.
7. Eight Navy seals, full dress uniform, civilian and combat clothes, kneel and pray with Eric at the hospital.
8. Eric tells his buddies that Catherine will live despite the severe brain trauma & injuries and c-section. A Doctor says no way. “Bobby says – I’m not that close to God personally to know. But if Eric says she’ll live. Trust me. She’ll live.
9. Hospital admin Sarah Carrion’s appearance is a clue that she wants Eric’s device and Eric. Sarah’s get-on-with-life talk convinces Eric that he must make peace with Bill Hancock.
10. Eric talks to Catherine about forgiving Bill. He tells Catherine he needs her strength. We see a tear setting up she is in her body and aware of what is going on around her.
11. Eric’s forgiveness and Bill’s genuine remorse build a bond.
12. Eric goes back to Krav Maga, and Cayla storms onto the scene. Eric saves Cayla and learns Thor’s death and Catherine’s demise was a planned hit.
13. Who is after Cayla, and are they Eric’s enemies too?
14. Mafia-type fixer Norman Larusha, who set up Eric’s “accident,” – learns of Bill and Eric talking. (Phone call)
15. Bill is told by HIS attorney to go back to jail – a clue that Bill is about to be silenced. Why?
16. Cayla talks to Catherine, and they connect, Cayla freaks out when she discovers that Catherine is in there.
17. Eric messes up the villain’s plan by posting Bill’s bail and bringing the family to his house for safety.
18. Bill tells Eric he was only told the time and place to hit the black Mercedes. (clue to the real target)
19. Cayla is semi-rogue FBI agent. Why was her partner killed? Why didn’t the FBI investigate? What does her FBI boss James Shaydie know and not tell her? Is he to be trusted? Or is he part of the problem?
20. Cayla learns through an FBI friend that Eric was booted shortly before Seal graduation because he went after his C.O. The Navy avoided a black eye & Eric’s court martial by allowing Eric to become a doctor and removing his C.O. from his duties. (Can you say enemy?)
21. Bill is forced to reveal their location by Larusha’s men, or his son (who was kidnapped only hours before Eric brought them to his house) – will be killed.
22. Bill tells Eric just as the laser dot lands on Eric’s head. Eric ducks, a bullet hits the chair, and Eric goes postal.
23. Eric grabs a gun – Shoots through the front window, and hits the sniper across the street in the front of the house in a van. Eric dives out the window and shoots two more guys on the lawn before going after the sniper on the side of the house. Eric shoots through the car doors and hits the driver and the sniper. He forces them to take them to Larusha.
24. Eric and Cayla turn the tables on Norman. They order pizza. Susie, the Pizza girl, leaves a pizza on the doorstep with a note from Eric inside. Eric and Cayla rush Norm and get control of Norm and all his information and finances.
25. Norm knows about Eric’s device and the people who want it.
26. Norm tells them of the implant at the base of his skull that was forced on him when he went to work with his current employer. Eric offers a trade – AFTER they get the boy back. They get the boy back.
27. Eric rushes Norm to the hospital and saves his life- Larusha helps some and disappears. Eric checks to make sure he has not been implanted with a device like Norm’s.
28. Who told Larusha to hit Eric is still a question. Larusha does not know exactly.
29. Who is Larusha’s intended target if it is not Eric?
30. Cayla brings Catherine to Larusha’s home.
31. Cayla learns Eric his C.O., was trying to kill him after Eric embarrassed him during training. (Can you say enemy?)
32. They sift through facts and clues.
33. The clever reveal of the congressman and his Mercedes.
34. Why was the Congressman targeted?
35. What does the Congressman know?
36. Eric talks to the congressman. Congressman got the hint to “keep your mouth shut” when he saw Eric’s car. (billy the bluebird story?)
37. Clue – Congressman’s CIA Analyst and college roommate Jermain is mugged in a bad neighborhood and killed. Jermain is framed as a cheating husband.
38. What did Congressman Brad Phillips tell Jermain to investigate that got Jermain killed and Brad warned?
39. What did CIA Jermain discover that got him killed? Where did he hide it?
40. John Salyer was not just a serial killer. He was a hitman for Larusha and others.
41. Why did Sarah Carrion connect with Norm Larusha?
42. People in the state department want Eric’s device and are willing to kill for it.
43. Eric’s buddy Cocoa Bean sends them to his cabin in North Carolina.
44. CIA – FBI – NSA- Justice departments are all involved in cover-ups, hits, and clandestine work for an overseeing power. Twitter and Facebook do the democrat’s bidding. Hunter Biden working for the Chinese – Leaving 85 billion in hi-tech equipment and getting out of Afghanistan by the State department – Sept 11th. Negotiating with terrorists when we could have walked away on our own terms. Chinese training in Canada- Chinese stealing US secrets. Russian – Chinese and Middle Eastern partners. Obama and the Muslim Brotherhood – Gain of Access Funding – Covid-19 Chinese –
45. Villain captures Catherine. Villain’s minion tries to squeeze Eric. Eric calls his bluff. You touch my wife, and aborigines in the deepest part of Australia, the Amazon, and Asia will know every detail of what you have done and what you’re planning. Do you really expect me to believe you will honor your word and let us go?
46. Eric gets a tip from the Quorum (we don’t know who at the time) he discovers documents that the secretary of state and the president, and many, many others in both parties, are being blackmailed or just open supporters of terrorist organizations and a socialist takeover. Why did the state department take charge of the withdrawal from Afghanistan when they have NO skills or expertise? Were they under orders from China & the Taliban? Proof – The date – giving up Bagram – 85 billion in equipment to terrorists AND negotiating the withdrawal when we could have gone out with our heads up at any time we wanted. Why the date and the hurry?
47. How many times did Obama meet with the Muslim Brotherhood? Why? GOA Funding? Hilary’s association with terrorist organizations. Top secret e-mails on her server. FBI false Russia scandal – Benghazi –
48. Eric and Cayla are flushed from their hideout in North Carolina and chased into a deserted corner of South Carolina and Myrtle beach. They are cornered on the beach when they are captured and taken into a submarine to escape killers. The sub guys are Quorum of the 12. All wear masks and reveal stuff that Eric has just touched on in terms of international stuff.
49. Eric reveals everything. The world is abuzz, and the State Department and The Whitehouse call it lies and hate speech. Eric sends documents to back it up. Eric sets up a chance for all the Whitehouse and state department people named to come forward and prove their innocence. Eric is forced to set up a demo of his device. The CIA is to “inspect it.” To see that it is not a fake or has planted evidence. Eric is concerned they will sabotage it. He has a backup that is untried.
50. Eric’s device does NOT do audio. The only thing he can do is SHOW the people that the politicians said they never met or knew together to support his allegations and documents. Eric allows them to use his device and lets them say it does not work.
51. Minions mess with Eric’s device, and NOW it gets audio, and they are nailed! Eric is in tears as he believes God has nailed them! CLINCHER!
52. The media call it lies, hate speech, and conspiracy. The American people are not buying. They are calling for the heads of all involved. The justice department is in it, so who will do the investigation? What is left of Congress calls a special investigative committee.
53. Eric finds a letter in the limousine as he gets in.
54. “American leadership discredited and destroyed. Confidence in the government at zero. Rioting in the streets. Marshall law declared within days. 2 years ahead of schedule. Thank you, Eric, for your assistance.
55. After the credits – scene from the next film. Montage: Violence in the streets all across America. Twitter and Facebook show buildings being burned. People are being shot by the military and police. The President declares Marshall law. Banks are shut down, and the government takes complete control and enforces a nationwide curfew.
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Kimbal Thompson Thriller Day 13 Assignment: Misdirects
What I learned is that some misdirection serves to further entice the Thriller.
1. Check these three to see how effectively you used misdirection
A. The Red Herring character.
Salvatore:
Brady’s pass at Richard
Assumed to be “in charge” of the caves; although why him?
Salvatore offered to set free Richard and Lou
B. The Villain’s plan: Use his position to cover-up secret uses of cave Expand this trust maintain several secret uses of the caves, not necessarily known to the others. Eliminate intruders.
. C. The cover-up for each mystery present as “Reality.” The small Midwest town. The hanger disguised as a barn. The corn rows concealing a hidden runway.
2. Look through your Thriller Map for a few opportunities to add in misdirection.
A. Clue Misdirection.
Richard’s hang-up with his name.
Jesse taking Richard to Court to resolve ticket.
Telephone message to Richard’s father incomplete before hanging up.
What cellmates might do with Richard.
Salvatore’s offer to let Richard and Lou fly away.
B. Character Misdirection
Dual roles of jail guards. Sanchez.
Trading roles between Richard and Lou about “getting out of here.”
Between Jeep driver, Jailers, Sanchez and Salvatore in Salvatore’s office.
Between Richard and Lou vs. Salvatore and Sanchez.
C. Dialogue Misdirection:
“Things gonna get colder tonight” from service station attendant
Dick saying his name to Jesse Cellmates each with story about why they are in “holding cell.”. Between Debbie, her mom and dad, Richard’s mom and dad, etc.3. Decide on the ones that work and add them to the Thriller Map. Done..
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John Duvall Misdirects…When Appropriate
What I learned is…?” Intrigue can be developed through misinterpreted clues, misinterpretation of dialogue, or misinterpretation of character’s intentions or behavior.
1. Check these three to see how effectively you used misdirection
A. The
Red Herring character.Sister Teresa’s withdrawal of affection and evasion of questions from Father Bloom makes her look suspicious and guilty.
B. The
Villain’s plan.Father Hargraves appears to be devoted to Monsignor Dennehy and desirous of supporting Father Bloom’s investigation. He also casts suspicion on Sister Teresa ultimately on Dennehy himself.
C. The
cover-up for each mystery present as “Reality.”Not really sure what this one means.
2. Look through your Thriller Map for a few opportunities to add in misdirection.
A. Clue
Misdirection.Dennehy’s diary appear to have been stolen, when in reality it has been sent to Bloom..
Could murders on riverfront be somehow tied to Teresa?
B.
Character Misdirection.Sister Teresa’s withdrawal of affection and evasion of questions from Father Bloom makes her look suspicious and guilty. Hargraves misrepresents his loyalty to Dennehy and Bloom.
C.
Dialogue Misdirection.Bloom misinterprets Dennehy’s statements on his past history with Teresa, as well as his trust in Hargraves.
3. Decide on the ones that work and add them to the Thriller Map.
Remember to be sparing on the misdirection. If you did a great job on three previous areas of misdirection, you don’t need much more. But done well, audiences will love it.
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Caroline Misdirects … When Appropriate!
What I learned: This assignment would be difficult for people who haven’t written any dialogue. I have written dialogue for this movie already.
1
A. The Red Herring
Clue Misdirection: Has a lot of money in a home safe
Character Misdirection: We can’t call the police
Dialogue Misdirection: Callahan should go to the store.B. The Villain’s Plan
Clue Misdirection: Being kidnapped
Character Misdirection: Generally being a friend of Callahan’s wifeDialogue Misdirection: Doesn’t that man in the background look like Aaron?
C. All of this misdirection is found in my map.
2
I have added these misdirection elements in my map.-
This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by Caroline Fritz.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by
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Macondo misdirects when appropriate
What I learned is that misdirection is an element in the thrillers that I like. It has to be done subtly and I need to be conscious of this when I do my script.
Look through your Thriller Map for a few opportunities to add in misdirection.
A. Clue Misdirection.
– Max – deliberately leaves
forges Chuck’s name on visa applications.– Carmen tells Chuck that her
drug processing lab is at the original landing strip when in fact she
moved most of it.B. Character Misdirection.
-Carmen comes off as supporting
the guerilla movement, when she only wants to grow her cartel.-The senior security officer comes
off as a ‘by-the-book’ investigator when in fact he is driven by his cynicism
and angerC. Dialogue Misdirection.
I don’t have a good one for
this. I will make a note and look for opportunities in the script -
Doing this assignment forced me to go back once again and re-work earlier elements of the thriller plan. With a stronger set up, i reviewed mis direction already at work and looked of ways to add or build on it but in the end, it didn’t need more, at least not yet. But who knows?
NEW THRILLER PLAN OPENING:
Adventurous US traveller, Nat, touches down on wild Kangaroo Island, meets her new boss, country Aussie larrikin, Wayne Hacken. It’s a two hour drive on a dirt road at a hectic 120km/hr, deep into remote west coast grazing country.
Villain’s plan 1: Wayne is charming as they chat on the long drive to his remote sheep station, she learns a bit about country life and Wayne’s history – how he was once happily married – he gets a feel for her New York life.
On arrival, Wayne introduces Nat to other migrant workers Lucy, Bella and Dan. He proudly leads workers on a tour of the historic colonial homestead and wool shed, briefs them on the shearing job ahead, explains the roles of cook, yarding hands, shearers, roustabouts, wool classer and wool presser.
INCITING INCIDENT:
Mystery 1: Nat soon discovers her Vodafone plan has no mobile service, no wifi, no communication with the outside world. How will she survive out here through the long month of shearing?
TWIST The locals say you need to have Telstra or satellite plans to work out here.
TRUST Wayne promises to take Nat to town to buy a Telstra sim card once the mustering is done. DISTRUST Wayne keeps making excuses.
Villains plan 2: End of Day 1, Nat lies alone in her bedroom exhausted after a long day’s work, almost asleep. She hears footsteps that stop outside her door, hears a soft voice ask ‘Can you hear me?’ then silence. She freezes.
Minutes later, she hears soft, slow whispering through the thin wall. Can…… You…… Hear ……Me?
Mystery 2: What the hell is Wayne doing? Is he trying to freak Nat out? Why?
Villains plan 3: Wayne drives Nat and Dan at breakneck speed to farm next door to help Bill and his family with lamb marking and tail docking. Nat enjoys her first taste of rural Australian life, discovers the neighbours are lovely people with two teenage daughters, all sing Wayne’s praises.
After a long, exhausting day’s work, tired Bill is very thankful for the help; he invites Wayne, Nat and Dan to his 60th birthday next week.
Villains plan 4: It’s hot driving home, Wayne stops at the local pub, the only building on a lonely road, run by Wayne’s mate Tom with the help of two young German backpackers working the bar.
Wayne invites Nat and Dan in for a cold beer. Still wearing blood stained overalls, Nat cautiously agrees.
Inside, a group of Wayne’s mates shout and jeer, joking about his new girlfriend. TWIST: Dan responds with a put-down of Wayne for setting up / embarrassing Nat, infuriating Wayne.
Mystery 3: At the pub, Nat meets Beryl, wife of a bossy school teacher, who tries to warn Nat about something but is reluctant to speak with publican Tom staring at her. Wayne downs the last of his beer, calls time to go.
TURNING POINT 1
With shearing set to start, Wayne spends days working the phone, finally locking in 4 shearers – Vinnie, Beau, Max and Kenny for the one month job. Wayne takes the Woolclasser role, offers his workers roustabout and yarding jobs, tells them to sign their contracts today if they want to join the team.
Mystery 4: Nat and fellow workers agree Wayne can be weird and temperamental but otherwise harmless.
Besides- as Nat confidently tells everyone, she’s on her dream working holiday of a lifetime and no one is going to stop her – so she signs up. Says she’ll probably love it and wanna stay longer! MYSTERY: Why is she so confident / blase?
CLUE Wayne receives first threatening phone call from his many creditors; starting with last year’s shearing contractor, Frank Wilson, who’s still waiting on his final payment. Wayne assures Frank outstanding money will be paid soon.
Next day, Frank sends a couple of burly guys to rough up Wayne, just so he gets the urgency of the message.
TRUST Wayne throws bales of hay to sheep from the back of the ute, driven slowly by Nat. Wayne goes ballistic, yells at Nat to stop, jumps down and cradles sheepdog Max as if injured.
DISTRUST Wayne suddenly turns and laughs at the look of shock and horror on Nat, who thought she’d driven over Max.
Mystery 5: The Shearers union rep arrives on the station unannounced to do a safety audit of the shearing shed.
Wayne and Bob argue about workplace safety rules and regulations.
When Wayne protests about the costly upgrades, Bob warns he may boycott the station, potentially delaying the shearing.
Wayne huffs and fumes, orders Bob off the property in temper but Bob refuses to be bullied, stays to finish the audit.
“OK, I’ve got real work to do mate, just shut the bloody gate when you leave,” Wayne tells Bob, drives off in ute
COVER UP: When Bob stops at the end of drive to shut the gate, Wayne rolls a large rock down from road-side escarpment, crushing car and killing Bob instantly. Then he tows the car and dead Bob to a coastal cliff, rolls it over the edge.
Villains plan 5: A rainy day, wet sheep, The shearing can’t start.
Wayne takes Nat on an ocean fishing trip. Wayne gives the outboard full throttle, hits some big swell and almost tips the boat over. Nat’s adrenaline is pumping.
They bait up and fish in silence. Wayne gets seasick, heaves overboard. Nat is fine.
Life Threatening 1: The sea gets rougher, Nat reels in. Wayne refuses, pissed because she’s not seasick like him.
TWIST Wayne falls off the boat trying to land a big tuna .. he’s drowning. Nat stares briefly in disbelief, looks at Wayne struggling to climb aboard in the big swell …. decides she better save him.
TRUST Wayne drives Nat and Dan to Bill’s 60th birthday party next door. Big night of eating barbecue fish, drinking and arguing, mainly with Wayne, who later insists he’s OK to drive home, tells Nat and Dan to get in the ute, time to go.
DISTRUST Drunken an accepts a lift with Wayne but Nat refuses – knowing he drives even faster than usual when he’s drunk.
Nat offers to drive instead, given she’s only had a couple of drinks all night.
Wayne is indignant, fumes with anger – how dare she doubt his diving ability – outright refuses.
Nat starts walking away to avoid his outburst. Wayne curses Nat and warns her dingoes will probably attack her on route. Nat mocks his pettiness, taking the long walk overland by moonlight back to the homestead, (compass in pocket, just in case). Arrives home exhausted but alive.
Mystery 6: Nat discovers one morning Lucy and Bella haven’t shown up for breakfast. She asks Wayne where they are. Wayne claims he woke in the night to see a Taxi leaving. Tells Nat the sneaky buggers must have pre-booked it.
Mystery 7: Two weeks into the shearing, It’s pay day. Lead shearer Vinnie is not happy, he confronts Wayne, accusing him of underpaying the shearers. They argue, Vinnie says he’s too old for this bullshit, walks out in disgust, leaving Wayne with the three younger shearers to finish the job.
Next morning, the shearers are sullen and dispirited, uneasy about their decision to keep shearing instead of walking out in solidarity with Vinne .
Then one shearer calls out ‘Lousy Sheep!’ All shearers down tools, telling Wayne they can refuse to shear lousy sheep. Or wet sheep for that matter, it’s all in the contract.
Wayne refuses to accept his sheep are lousy!
Wayne demands the shearers finish the job they were hired for or he won’t be paying anyone anything.
All 3 shearers walk out, threatening to report Wayne to the union .
Furious Wayne decides to shear the last few hundred sheep himself! Orders the shearers off the property.
Now he desperately needs Nat and Dan to stay to sweep up and class the wool, press the bales and keep the sheep moving through the shed.
Villain’s plan 6: Determined not to lose them, Wayne offers a pay rise. keen for the extra earnings, Dan and Nat accept.
Villains plan 7: Nat baths in homemade Hot Tub on the verandah after a hard day’s work in the shearing shed. Wayne wanders up in his bathers, presumes to join her? As soon as he steps in, Nat bales. Wayne watches resentfully as she leaves.
Villains plan 6: When Nat awakes one morning, Dan is nowhere to be seen.
CLUE: His backpack is gone but his hat and some personal belongings remain.
Life Threatening 3: Nat confronts Wayne, who is evasive. She persists. He says Dan probably shot through in the night … ‘like the rest of the useless workers, i’m guessing’. ‘So why did he leave his hat?’
Wayne tells Nat he was useless anyway, she’s the only one he can really trust. “You’re not gonna let me down too, are you?
Mystery 9: On a second trip to the pub with Wayne, Nat is served by one of the German girls who have heard about Nat and are desperate to warn her about Wayne. She tells Nat how they fled his employ months earlier, after being coerced to undress and wash cars for Wayne and his mates. How the police somehow found out and arrived to catch them red handed. But the police let them off with just a warning.
Mystery 10: At the pub, Nat meets Beryl again who finally tells Nat “you’ll be alright dear, but whatever you do … just don’t upset him”.
Nat is now even more confused. What’s that supposed to mean?
Villain’s plan 8: Wayne watches intently while Nat and Beryl talk, he suddenly demands Nat leave with him now.
Life Threatening 3: Nat stays calm, convinces herself she must go back with Wayne for her passport and luggage, she gets in his car. Nat fears a confrontation. Wayne drives in silence, faster, more reckless than ever.
Nat demands Wayne tell her what he and his mates made the German girls do. Is it true what the barmaid told me about you and your mates? Wayne is defensive, hits the accelerator, almost hits a kangaroo.
Nat fears a car crash.
MIDPOINT:
REVEAL Wayne swerves sharply to avoid hitting the kangaroo. The glove box flies open and an official badge falls out onto Nat’s lap. She recognises it as belonging to the Union rep who Wayne ordered off the property weeks ago. She grabs it, hides in her pocket, Wayne doesn’t see. Dread courses through Nat.
Life Threatening 3: Back home, Wayne has cooled down, he tries to reassure Nat she’s safe with him, offers to cook her dinner. Nat tells him she has a searing migraine and cant eat. He can get her an icepack though. ‘Might even need you to call me an ambulance’
Nat goes to her room and secures her door from inside with a makeshift lock. Wayne hears the unexpected sound of her door locking. Wayne chuckles to himself. Nat quietly packs her passport, wallet and basic survival pack. Lies in bed, plans her escape.
She wakes around 4am to the sound of her door lock rattling. Nat freezes, then calls out who’s there. Wayne doesn’t answer, but stops fiddling with the lock and continues walking down corridor to toilet.
Next morning, Nat leaves the house before dawn, she walks the property boundary, onto a dirt road, looking for a bus stop, any sign of civilisation. She decides to walk back towards Bill’s place next door, ask for the truth about Wayne, is he really safe to be around.
A few utes drive past, all men, most looking groggy, some with dogs chained in the back. Eventually a car pulls up and a friendly guy gets out, waves Nat over.
It’s Bill. Nat walks up to him and shares her concerns about Wayne, asks him to take her to town. Bill says of course, what’s the problem? Nat gets in and tells him the two girls left a week ago without warning and by yesterday morning, Dan was gone too.
But as Nat talks, Bill turns into Wayne’s driveway and takes Nat back to the homestead. ‘Let me talk to him, i’m sure we can sort this out.’
COVER UP Wayne turns on the charm, welcomes Nat back like an old friend. Tells Nat she’s the best worker he’s ever had, 10 times better than Dan and the others. We’re better off without them.
Life Threatening 4: Nat wakes at 2am on a Sunday morning to the sound of vehicles honking, spotlights flashing. Wayne’s gang of mates gather on the verandah outside Nat’s window, drinking and heckling her to come out and entertain them. Full of sexual innuendo. Nat fears the worst. Wayne sits apart, wallowing in his power over Nat, over his mates, only calling them off when Nat passes out. She wakes at 5am to silence. Checks her clothing. All intact. She gets up and peeks out her door.
TURNING POINT 2:
Nat tip toes out of the house, leaving Wayne passed out on the couch. She walks towards the coastline, climbs up the highest point on the cliffs bordering the station, hoping for phone service, nothing..
REVEAL Villains Plan 9 : Nat walks the wild coast, looking for signs of friend Dan. After hours of searching, she discovers him lying injured at the bottom of a deep crevis on a wild stretch of coastline.
Mystery 12: Nat calls out to him but Dan’s delirious, not making any sense. Nat explains she’ll return with water and rope to get him out. She races back to homestead, finds sullen Wayne now sitting up in front of the television watching replays of AFL grand finals he once starred in.? Nat tries to talk to Wayne, but he ignores her. Not now.
Mystery 13: So Nat writes a note, telling Wayne she’s gone for a walk to get some exercise. Also writes: Are you going to apologise for last night? She heads outside to find rope and try to save Dan.
Life Threatening 6: An hour later, Wayne gets up, grabs ute keys, leaves the house to buy supplies to finish shearing. Picks up Nat’s note on the way out.
REVEAL Nat returns to house now that Wayne has left, paces around searching for ideas. All she really needs is wifi. Surely Wayne cant run a business without wifi? She breaks into Wayne’s farm office through a window, discovers piles of unpaid bills. She tries to hack his wifi but can’t find the password. Finally discovers it written faintly under modem. She hears Wayne’s car approaching in distance. She’s got one minute.
Nat connects, her phone goes ballistic with incoming messages. She tears up with relief. She gets a text message to her friend Charlotte in Sydney, begs her to call the KI police HQ. She scrambles back out through the office window, slams it shut.
Life Threatening 7: Wayne returns to the house, sullen and brooding. Nat stays calm, puts on her cheerful demeanor and offers to cook Wayne’s favourite meal. Minestrone soup. He grunts, then sees her phone sticking out of her pocket and asks why she’s carrying it around?
“I’ve just been taking pics of the dogs. Here wanna see?” Wayne fobs her off. Stupid mutts.
Villain’s plan 10: Nat is outside feeding the dogs. Doesn’t hear Wayne get a call from local cop Bluey who says Sydney Police boss rang asking about a worker, apparently being held there against her will.
Villain’s plan 11: Wayne assures the cop there must be some misunderstanding. Wayne agrees to bring Nat to local police station tomorrow, if that’s what she wants..
Furious Wayne hangs up, confronts Nat, “ yeah i will take a look at those doggie pics.”
Nat oozes confidence, defies Wayne: “Too late, I deleted them.” She takes off outside.
CLIMAX:
Life Threatening 8: Nat and Wayne are locked in a tense cat and mouse chase through the woodland near the farm homestead at night. Wayne wants her phone, see if she’s been talking behind his back.
Exhausted and paranoid, Wayne thinks he finally has Nat cornered in the woolshed, demands she come out of hiding, he’s not gonna hurt her, just look at the photos.
When she refuses he threatens to shoot the two dogs. As he raises his rifle, Nat relents: Ok here, have my bloody phone, its useless anyway out here as you know!
Life Threatening 9: As Wayne bends down to pick up her phone, Nat rolls a wool bale down onto Wayne, from atop the wool stack,knocking the wind out of him.
Injured Wayne drops the rifle, struggles to push the wool bale off. Nat grabs his rifle, runs for the road, both dogs in tow, hoping to intercept police due to arrive any minute.
TWIST. Wayne’s neighbour Bill shows up at the shed, sensing Wayne may be losing control and becoming dangerous.( He knows the real reason his wife left him). Bill tries to lift bale off to free Wayne while trying to calm him down.Wayne breaks free, goes ballistic. Attacks Bill. They wrestle, Bill struggles to subdue Wayne.
Life Threatening 10: New police woman Margo drives towards the station, sees Nat up ahead waving her arms. As Margot slows down, Nat jumps in, police car is still moving.
Nat says Dan’s in trouble, Wayne’s tried to throw him off a cliff. In the tussle, he fell in a crevice and broke his leg, been there for days, time to get him out.
They drive to the homestead to find neighbour Bill has Wayne in a headlock. Margo takes control, approaches the men with her handgun aimed and cocked.
Wayne is arrested, handcuffed, thrown into divy wagon. Nat leads Margo to well where Dan lies injured, barely breathing. They hoist him out with ropes and give first aid. He survives.
Police charge Wayne with attempted murder and deprivation of liberty.
Nat moves to Sydney, becomes an Aussie, settles here.
RESOLUTION:
Nat sets up a dedicated service to support migrant workers, backpackers and international travellers working in remote locations of the world.
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