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Lesson 14
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Tony J. Scott
Scary-As-Hell Scene
I learned how to use the horror map more effectively after Ive already created a scene and how to add more depth.
INT. FUNERAL PARLOR-NIGHT
The group are in the pews. Everyone is hoping their not the next speaker. Derrick and Malcolm are somewhat conscious this time while everyone else, except for Michelle who is also somewhat conscious, is in the Funeral Parlor consciousness.
Michelle gets up and walks to the front of the room to read her eulogy.
MICHELLE
Good, evening, I’d like to say a few kind words about the dearly departed.
(A look of confusion on her face)
Although I only knew the deceased but a short time I came to admire…
CUT TO:
INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-DAY/NIGHT
The Monster basement is a dungeon surrounding an interior room that closely resembles a white pristine hygienically clean surgery room. The walls are positioned in a half-moon shape. There are seven chairs to begin with. One chair is removed at the end of each complete two phase torture cycle.
The typical two phase torture cycle has been interrupted from it’s normal routine. The Monster Assistant KIMWAKAZZI, has not distributed the correct LSD dosage to the speaker as well as two other group members. Two of them DERRICK and MALCOLM are fully awake and playing possum but MICHELLE, the speaker is only partially aware. NIKKI and WANDA are fully unconscious.
The MONSTER and Kimwakazzi are unaware of the mishap until later when it’s time to bring the whole group back. This is the first instance where anyone from the group will have proof that what they are experiencing is not part of the aftercare cancer treatment. The two men continue to play possum. The Monster checks to make sure each group member is still unconscious. He checks Wanda. The Monster checks to make sure that Michelle, who is not totally unconscious, is too out of it to notice. The Monster checks Nikki and finds that she is totally unconscious. Malcolm and Derrick, who are totally awake manage to see everything through tightly squinted eyes. Kimwakazzi drops to his knees in front of NIKKI’s chair, while she is unconscious, and begins to lick and suck on her thighs. Malcolm and Derrick can see that his tongue is grotesquely deformed and are freaked out but unable to show it. The Monster notices this and attacks Kimwakazzi for his behavior. The Monster slowly approaches Derrick. Suddenly the lights turn out. Everything has gone black, a surprise to the Monster, Kimwakazzi, Derrick and Malcolm. When the lights come back on the Monster has bent over Derrick and is now face to face with him. The Monster can feel Derrick’s essence and wants to see if he will flinch. Derrick’s eyes are totally shut now but he can feel the Monster’s breath on his face. Derrick manages to control the fear he feels. Derrick is holding his own. Malcolm is praying the Monster doesn’t come to him next. Malcolm, while able to control his response, is unable to control his bladder as he begins to urinate himself. The Monster stands over Malcolm and is about to bend over to inspect him when the buzzer sounds.
MONSTER
Kazzi, let’s go!
The clock buzzes and the remainder of the group return from the FUNERAL PARLOR to the Monster basement. The Monster and Kimwakazzi clear the room just in time.
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Lesson 14: Scary – As – Hell Scenes
Subject Line:(Huey J. Williams) Scary – As – Hell Scene
What I Learned:
Its fun and not so difficult to create Horror Stories, the step by step
method that ScreenwritingU teaches makes everything understandable,
educational, and straightforward. The one step at a time method.
I like the “Horror Map” of a scene concept, it’s a guide that keeps
you focused.
THE PITCH:
A Group of High School Graduates celebrate, before leaving for college
with a camping trip in the woods, that they will never forget.
TITLE: “THE THINGAMAJIG”
GENRE: HORROR
FADE IN:
EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
A forest near a lake illuminated by a full moon, the sounds of desperate
HISSING, and INJURED WOLF GROWL, QUICK THUMPING HITTING THE GROUND, slithers
threw the bush in hot pursuit of a EIGHT POINT BUCK.(Suspense/Dread for Deer)
The Buck SHRIEKS in pain when something in the bushes rips off it’s feet and
begins devouring it, bones CRUNCHING SOUNDS.
CLOSE ON – Just the monster’s mouth chewing is seen, as it takes big bites of
dear meat.(Suspense/Intrigue)
The forest goes silent.
CLOSE ON – SCREECH OWL SHRIEKS, as he watches from a tree.
INT. MOTORHOME – NIGHT
ALDEN drives the motorhome, SHAD his dog liying at his side CORY rides shotgun,
GRAM, ASHLEY, CATE, and ZOEY sit together at the table, all close friends
throughout High School.
Alden pulls up and stops at a sign that reads: “Black Forest Keep Out”
ALDEN
Keep out, my Dad and I have spent many hunting
seasons here, we’ve captured some of the bigest
bucks in the region, perfect dear hunting.
ASHLEY
Ok, lets go home, I don’t feel like getting shot
with rock salt. Do you remember what happend when
we raided that cherry orchard last sumer.
CORY
It’s probably a prank, pay it no mind, we’re here
lets go camping.
CATE
Cory, every since we’ve been together you always say
that prank bit, and you’re never right.
GRAM
Lets go for it, what do we have to loose, all they
can do is kick us out, if they find us.
ZOEY
Cate, I agree, I don’t like going to stange places
uninvited, especially in the woods. Its no telling
what we may find, or run into, there could be GHOSTS,
MONSTERS, maybe even a MAD KILLER.(Apprehension/Anxiety/Emotional)
Everyone in the motorhome starts LAUGHING.
ALDEN
Cate you need to chill out, I think you watch to much TV.
Then it’s settled!
They continue to the camp sight by the lake.
EXT. BLACK FOREST CAMPSITE BY THE LAKE – NIGHT
Under a full moon, Ashley, Alden, and Shad pitch their tent and climb in.
Cate and Cory pitch their ten and climb in.
Zoey and Gram pitch their tent and climb in.
In the bushes hiding the monster watches, not making a sound.
Gram decides to go for a jog threw the woods, his nightly routine.
Gram retuns to camp and notices the motorhome is smoking.
GRAM
Hay guys the motorhome is smoking!
The Group jumps into action rushes into the motorhome putting out the
electrical fire.(Startling)
ASHLEY
Now we’re trapped out in the middle of nowhere,
what’s next, someone gets lost, or maybe killed.(Apprehension/Anxiety)
ALDEN
Ashley, don’t be such a baby. Nothing like that
will happen, Shad and I will protect you.
They put the electrical fire out, return to their tents, all is
quiet.
CORY
I’ll fix the electrical problem in the morning.
Suddenly, there is a LOAD HISSIN followed by a SICK WOLF HOWL!(Surprise/Fear/Suspense/Startling)
Everybody jumps out of bed.
EVERYBODY
What was that! What the hell was that!
Shad begins BARKING and GROWELING, then he runs out the tent in hot pursuit
into the woods after the monster.(Creepy moment)
Alden grabs his rifle and follows shad and tries to catch up into the woods.
EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden enters area of the forest where he finds Shad’s collar and his fur scattered
on the ground, he picks up the collar.
Alden notes something in the bushes watching him, he can’t see what it
is but he knows it’s there, he keeps his gun on the ready as he heads back to
camp.Creepy Moment/Emotional/Unnerving)
EXT. BLACK FOREST CAMPSITE – NIGHT
Everyone in the camp, Ashley, Cory, Cate, Zoey, except for Gram are gathered
together in terror huging each other.(Fear/Suspense/Dread/Startled)
Alden returns with only Shad’s Tags and some of his fur.
Alden hugs Ashley almost in tears.
ALDEN
Shad is gone, he die protecting us, all I found was his
tages, his fur was scattered all over the ground.
GRAM
Shad was an excellent hunter, I bet he went out fighting.
ALDEN
There’s more, while I gathered Shads things, I fealt like
I was being watched by something hiding in the
bushes. I couldn’t see it but it was there
watching me. I kept my rifle ready as I left.(Apprehension/Anxiety/Fear/Dread/Scare)
The Group hugs each other tighter as Alden told the story of what he saw.
GRAM
Alden, how many extra guns did you bring?
ALDEN
The hand gun on me, my rifle, there is a hand
gun and rifle in the motorhome.
GRAM
I think we should leave the tents set up, but
everyone sleep in the motorhome tonight.
ALDEN
I agree.
INT. MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
The Group make their way into the motorhome and bed down for the night.
Zoey tries to make a call home on her cell phone, no signal.(Surprise)
ZOEY
There’s no signal out here, I can’t make a call,
now we’re really screwed. Gram, if anything happens
to me, I’ll, I’ll, you better protect me.
GRAM
As long as you’re with me love, I’m your
Superman, you know that.
Gram, and Alden armed decides to share watch duty for the night.
The monster is watching the motorhome in the bushes.
The monster enters the camp, ransacking the tents, then goes to
the motorhome and peeps threw the bathroom window.
Zoey is in the bathroom bushing he teeth, when she spot the monster’s
big eyees enlarged face staring at her, she SCREAMS and runs out of
the bathroom.(Shock/Hysteria/Fear/Creepy Moment/Scare)
ZOEY
There’s a monster out there, he’s peeping in
the bathroom window! His face was horrible, big
eyes, ugly face, I don’t think I will sleep tonight!
Zoey, Ashley, Cate begin SCREAMING as LOAD as they can!(Fear/Dread/Hysteria/Shock)
The monster jumps up and downon the motorhome HISSING, HOWLING LIKE AN
INJURED WOLF, shaking things up.
THE MONSTER
FEED ME! FEED ME! over and over.
EXT. OUTSIDE MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden, Gram, Cory, go into action each armed, they make their way out of the
motorhome they get their first look at the monster, and begin shooting.(Shock/Fear/Dread/Startled/Emotional)
They make multiple hits, but it doesn’t kill the monster, as it runs away into the
darkness.(Surprise)
Alden, Gram, Cory are sweating, knees kocking, wide eyeed and they can’t believe
what they just saw.(Creepy Moment/ Scare)
GRAM
What the hell was that!
ALDEN
The Girls are hysterical, but they must know what we are
dealing with. We have to come up with a way to kill this
THINGAMAJIG, what ever it is.
CORY
It looked hungry, its either us or it, the
Thingamajig, that’s a good name for it.
That’s what it looks like a Thingamajig.
We’ve learned something about it tonight,
bullets won’t kill it, mybe fire will.
Alden, Gram, Cory head back into the motorhome, they have some explaining to do
with the girls.
ALDEN
I wish I had a better way to tell you this,
but we’re being hunted, by something we have
named the Thingamajig. We promise you, we’ill
protect you, we have a plan.
Later that evening the Thingamajig strikes again this time Cate, Zoey, and Ashley all
get a look at it, as it raids the tents looking for food or one of them.(Dread,Hysteria,Fear/Scare)
Ashley, Cate, Zoey become hysterical, CRYING, sweating, Zoey soil herselves.(Fear/Hysteria/Shock)
EXT. OUTSIDE MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden, Gram, Cory attack the Thingamajig a battle begins with fire, (molotov cocktails), they miss,
and they chase the Thingamajig, it’s tracks leads them deep into the black forest.
The Thingamajig, makes his way back to the motorhome.
INT. THE MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Ashley, Cate, and Zoey are lock inside waiting for Alden, Cory, and Gram to return, they begin hearing
STRANGE NOISES outside the motorhome,(Anxiety)
Cate peeps outside the window and sees a hairy body runs past, she starts SCREAMING, so do Ashley and Zoey.
(ShocK/Fear)
The Thingamajig starts turning the door knob trying to get into the motorhome.(Dread/Panic)
THINGAMAJIG
FEED ME! FEED ME! over and over!
Ashley, Cate, and Zoey are SCREAMING, CRYING and clinging to each other.(Hysteria/Dread)
The Thingamajig opens the door to the motorhome, stairing at the girl salivating at the mouth, it GROWLS LIKE
A WOLF as it is about to enter.(Hyteria/Dread/Shock)
EXT./INT. CAMPSITE MOTORHOME – NIGHT
Alden, Cory, and Gram appear, start firing shot at the Thingamajig and it runs into the woods.(Release)
Alden, Cory, and Gram rush into the motorhome and hugg their CRYING girl friends. (Release)
ASHLEY CATE ZOEY
We thought we were dead, the monster was about to take us!
ALDEN
We were chasing the Thingamajig it trick us, we never thought
it would double back here to the motorhome.
The Thingamajig returns and begins HOWLING, near the motorhome, Alden, Cory, and Gram take action, head
out to fight the Thingamajig.
Face to face with the Thingamajig, Alden, Cory, and Gram begin throwing molotov cocktail, but the
Thingamajig is quick, they miss.
Gram moves in close for a better shot with the molotov cocktail.
The Thingamajig charges, grabs Gram, runs into the darkness of the forest.(Dread/Horror/Shock)
Ashley, Cate, and Zoey watch and begin SCREAMING, and close the motorhome door, hide.
Alden and Cory, armed place four molotov cocktails in cooler and head out tracking Gram and
the thingamajig, they follow the Thingamajig’s foot prints to his hideout.
(Anguish/Panic/Creepy Moment)
EXT. BLACK FOREST THINGAMAJIG’S HIDEOUT – NIGHT
The Thingamajig hideout, a near hole in the ground.
Alden and Cory arrive at the Thingamajig’s cave.
(Apprehension/Anxiety/Fear/Creepy Moment/Disturbing Environment)
ALDEN
We found it’s hideout.
CORY
It looks like a spooky place, oneway in,
oneway out.
INT. THINGAMAJIG’S LAIR – NIGHT
Alden and Cory enter the Thingamajig’s lair slowly, molotov cocktails in hand, as they
move deeper into the cave, suddenly a BIG BLACK BAT attacks them on his way out of
the cave.(PANIC/HORROR/Surprise/Startled/Scare/Creepy Moment)
In the distance Alden and Cory, hear sounds of BONES CRUNCHING, CHEWING, and SWALLOWING,
then it stops.(Anguish/Panic/Horror)
Alden and Cory look at each other.(Fear/Anguish)
With blood, gutes, and gleaming sharp teeth, the Thingamajig leaps out, almost grabing Cory,
as he jumps out of the way.
Alden throws a molotov cocktail and misses.(Horror/Panic/Hysteria)
The Thingamajig spits a black paste at Alden, misses, jumps at him, a foot away,
then Cory throws a molotov cocktail, which catches the Thingamajig’s leg on fire.
The Thingamajig WOLF HOWLS in pain.
Alden throws his last molotov cocktail, hitting the Thingamajig’s upper body, he hits
the ground burning, HOWLING.
Alden and Cory fire several shots into the Thingamajig’s body, as it burns, then it morphs
into something even more hideous.(Release)
As it burns the Thingamajig morphs to a BIG MAGGOT, then to ASH.
CORY
It’s changing shape, he looks even worse,
a big maggot, Yuk.
ALDEN
Lets find what’s left of Gram, and get out of
hear.
The go deeper into the cave and they find the half eaten body of Gram, they stair at his body,
both almost in tears.
(Dread/Horror/Anguish/Shock/Creepy Moment/Disturbing Environment/ Grossed Out)
CORY
Poor Gram, there’s not much we can do for him.
ALDEN
Lets bury him and get back to the camp.
EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden and Cory take Gram’s body out of the cave and bury him in the forest, then make their
way back to the camp.
EXT./INT. MOTORHOME – NIGHT
Ashley, Cate, Zoey stand at the motorhome happy to see Alden, and Cory, but Zoey begins
CRYING.(Fear/Apprehension/Anxiety/Dread/Startled)
ZOEY
Where is Gram! Where is Gram!
CORY
He didn’t make it. The Thingamajig killed him,
he died trying to help kill the monster, we buried
what was left of him in the woods. He was a very brave
young man, and a true friend, the Thingamajig is dead.
Zoey burst into more tears, Ashley and Cate comfort her.(Dread/Fear/Apprehension/Anxiety)
ALDEN
Grab your things, we’re leaving, we’ll hike
to the nearest main road, hitch-hike back to
town for help.
ZOEY
Poor Gram, I miss him already.
ASHLEY
We all miss him, he and Shad gave their lives so
that we could excape being killed by that Thingamajig.
CATE
I hope there are no more of those monsters around.
CORY
You never know the way the world is changing, global
warming could be causing these things.
CATE
Cory, can we talk about something else, or maybe not
talk at all.
Together with Ashley, Cate, Zoey, Alden and Cory hike their way out to the main road,
where they catch a ride back to town for help.(Fear/Apprehension/Anxiety)
As they walk huddled threw the black forest there is movement in the bushes, Ashley,
Cate, and Zoey start SCREAMING, Alden and Cory take aim.
Out walks an EIGHT POINT BUCK, looks at them, then wanders back into the woods.
They all take a deep breath, sigh of relief.(Emotional/Startled/Release)
EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
What appears as a falling star lights the sky, then lands near the lake.(Surprise)
CLOSE ON – A Thingamajig sureys the forest, grimaceing look on his face, looks at
the moon, HISSES and INJURED WOLF HOWLS into the night…
FADE OUT
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DEB STENARD’S SCARY-AS-HELL SCENE: LESSON 14
What I learned doing this assignment is: this process is genius. I have never written a scene so fast, mostly because I never had a map before.
MY EXAMPLE- ISOLATED/PURSUED
FROM SURPRISE TO HYSTERIA
The front gate Technician working alone at the estate, is menaced, and then chased by the local weirdo who just happens to have rabies.
SURPRISE/SCARE- the technician is working all by himself on the electronic front gate. This gate will finally close the Spite Fence the billionaire has had erected in order to close off his development from the locals. It also blocks off local access to most of the mountain. As he hangs on the gate, working on the innards, it suddenly starts to close, almost crushing him.
RELEASE- the gate stops moving and the tech realizes that it is being pushed open by a strange looking guy in battle fatigues.
The tech tries to bond with the guy over being fellow vets. The local is moving oddly, and drooling, with jerky head movements.
ANXIETY- the tech gets a call over his walkie-talkie- that a wildfire is
Moving faster than anticipated and he’s better get his work done and get out of there. The tech tells the vet he needs to leave.
SHOCK- the tech watches as the weirdo takes a knife and slashes all the tires on his truck and then opens the hood and rips all the wires out of the engine, then setting the truck on fire.
PANIC- realizing that this guy is bat-shit crazy, the tech tries to get away from him by hitting him with a crowbar and then running away into the woods.
DREAD- as he runs, he keeps trying to raise someone on his walkie-talkie- but gets no response.
SUSPENSE- he stops to get his bearing and try to catch his breath. He hears crashing coming through the bushes. Arms himself with the crowbar, ready to fight,
RELEASE- It turns out to be a deer. He relaxes.
HORROR- is terrified when he turns around and is faced with the drooling weirdo. The weirdo knocks him down and hogties him.
ANGUISH -the weirdo drones on about how he’s going to punish the billionaire who built the fence, because he is cutting off access to the mountain. The tech says he’s not the owner, he only works for him. He’s only doing his job.
HYSTERIA- the tech is bleeding from cuts all over his body. He’s starting to get weak from loss of blood. He says he has diabetes and needs an insulin shot, and he has kids and has to pick them up from school and they both need to leave because of the fire approaching.
They have reached the edge of a collapsed cave. The weirdo says that the tech worries too much. He picks hm up and throws the tech down into the hole. There is a scream that is cut off short.
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The second part of Lesson #14
Deb Stenard
EXT. FRONT DATE – DAY
On top of a mountain, foggy air, woods on all side, clouds in the air. The giant entrance gate to a huge new resort development is open. On either side of the gate is a formidable steel fence, decorated to look like wooden logs, with steel spikes on top of each log.
It looks more like a fortress than a resort. Doesn’t fit in with its surroundings at all. The locals must HATE it.
Leaning on a ladder that propped up against the open gate is an ELECTRONICS TECHNICIAN, trying to get the front gate to actually open and close. It ain’t working.
TECHNICIAN
Damn it! For a billionaire, he sure cheaps out with some shitty stuff. Why doesn’t anyone ever ask ME what’s the best equipment for a humungous gate like this? I’m only the one who has to install it and service it.
He tinkers with the gate unit again. Suddenly his ladder wobbles, as the gate is shaken. Someone is trying to close it. The tech looks down to see an odd-looking local weirdo (ABADDON) trying to force the gate closed. His hair is matted and dirty, standing out all over his head. His eyes roll and won’t stay still. He drools excessively.
He wear a fatigue jacket with the insignia of the 503rd Infantry Unit that served in Afghanistan.
ABADDON
You can’t have this fence. Get rid of the fence!
The tech tries to stay on the swaying ladder.
TECHNICIAN
Hey, cut it out, man! Trying to do my job. This ain’t my fence. Talk to the boss if you got a beef.
Suddenly, the crackle of a walkie-talkie is heard from the unit on the tech’s belt.
SUPERVISOR (O.S.)
Billy, you there? You done with that gate yet? Answer me, over.
The tech picks up the unit, thumbs on the talk button.
TECHNICIAN
Stan, still working on it. They sent the wrong parts and I gotta jerry-rig it with what I got in the truck. Over.
SUPERVISOR
Finish it tomorrow. Over
TECHNICIAN
That’s a neg-a-tive-oh. The biggest of the big bosses is coming tomorrow morning for a soft opening of this place and I gotta have this gate working or else. Over.
SUPERVISOR
Just heard from the fire service that the wind has turned and that brush fire south of you went from moderate to high risk. Over.
TECHNICIAN
Ok, that is interesting. I’ll do my best. Over.
SUPERVISOR
I’m sure the big boss doesn’t want you to get killed putting the lock on his gate. Over and out.
The tech looks down at the weirdo, still shaking the gate.
TECHNICIAN
Hey, knock it off. Didn’t you hear my boss? That forest fire escalated. You should hightail it outta here and let me finish, so I can get outta here, too.
ABADDON
The fence is evil.
The tech slides down the ladder and head over to his truck.
TECHNICIAN
Whatever. I can get this thing working if you just let me do my job. Hey, you a vet? I see you got a patch from the 503rd. I was 75th Rangers. You guys saw some shit over there. We all did, right?
ABADDON
I took this jacket from a man at the homeless shelter. He didn’t need it.
The tech is pissed and pushes Abaddon away from him.
TECHNICIAN
Fuck you, man. Wear a jacket, but don’t try to pass yourself off as a vet if you didn’t serve! Asshole.
The tech goes back up the ladder.
TECHNICIAN
Didn’t you hear my super warn me about the fire? It could sweep up that hill fast as shit and burn your ass. Get the fuck outta here and let me do my job.
Abaddon walks over to the tech’s truck. He pulls a giant serrated hunting knife out from under his jacket and efficiently punctures all four tires. The he opens the hood and rips out everything he can.
TECHNICIAN
What the absolute fuck? That’s my own truck, you fucker, the company doesn’t pay for that.
He slides down the fence and quickly grabs a crowbar out from the cargo bay of the truck to defend himself. Abaddon pulls another giant knife out of his belt. No thanks.
The tech starts off running to the woods. He turns back to see Abaddon jerkily following him.
INT. WOODS – AFTERNOON
The tech is running thought the woods, tripping over logs and getting hit in the face with branches. He grabs up his walkie-talkie and thumbs it on.
TECHNICIAN
Hello? Hello? Stan, are you there? HELLO! Stan! Is anybody there? HELLO! FUCK!
He stops behind a tree to catch his breath. He hears a noise coming from the way he just ran. He can’t see anything. But he hears something big coming clumsily through the brush.
He carefully puts his walkie-talkie down and get a good grip on the crowbar, prepared to go down swinging. He waits. And waits and…
A deer pushes its way through the undergrowth. It stops when it sees the tech. The tech stares back at it. He relaxes.
Turns to face Abaddon right behind him. Abaddon knocks him down and hogties him with zip ties from his jacket.
EXT. FOREST – AFTERNOON
Abaddon is dragging the poor tech along the forest floor.
ABADDON
You cannot cut off the mountain. It needs freedom. The animals and birds needs to be free.
TECHNICIAN
It wan’t my choice. Mr. Adderman did this. I don’t even work for him, I’m a subcontractor, for shit’s sake! Talk to him!
ABADDON
You force people to be adjusted to fit the system and those outside the system are bad.
TECHNICIAN
I don’t care about the system! I got diabetes, I need some sugar, I’m starting to pass out.
Abaddon continues to drag him along.
TECHNICIAN
I got kids, man! I gotta get them from school! I can’t be late.
Abaddon drags him to the edge of a collapsed cave. It is dark and you cannot see the bottom of the hole.
TECHNICIAN
(Sobbing) Please let me go. I won’t tell anybody. We both gotta go, we could be cut off. That fire could be here, please let me go.
ABADDON
Fire makes gold.
He picks up the tech and throws him down the hole. There is a short scream that is suddenly cut off.
ABADDON
Fire burns clean.
END OF COLD OPENING
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Barbara Fix Scary As Hell SCENE
I learned to add the layers and depth to scary scenes.
INT. SEYMOUR SANITARIUM – MEDICAL WARD – EVENING
Merrick and Sandy are now entwined on one of the cots, necking. Both are naked.
TERRY: Isn’t this sexy, baby. Doing this in the face of possible danger?
MERRICK: Shh.
He makes his way down her neck to her breasts, suckling and caressing. She MOANS.
TERRY:You’re the best, baby.
Continuing, he moves himself between her thighs. She MOANS louder. She obviously likes his style and isn’t shy about letting him know it. Then suddenly no more.
Silence from Terry, and her hands fall away. Merrick looks up at Terry.
MERRICK: Hey, baby, am I doing something wrong?
No response. He starts to move up her body.
MERRICK (CONT’D): Baby?
Just then a CRASH OF THUNDER outside CASTS LIGHT into the dark room. Terry is staring straight up at the ceiling, her eyes wide open and mouth gaping.
An ARROW sticks straight up out of one of her eyes. A TRICKLE OF BLOOD filters down the arrow and along her face. Merrick is frozen in horror.
Suddenly he snaps to and jumps off the bed as far away as he can and looks quickly around. No one. Frantically, he looks under the bed. Nothing.
POV from underneath one of the beds opposite Merrick.
WE SEE Merrick, from his knees down, grab his jockeys and struggle to put them on. He’s shaking so it’s difficult.
MERRICK: Fuck. Fuck.
He grabs his pants and shirt and spins to bolt out of the room. In an instant, a RAZOR KNIFE whips and severs his Achilles tendon. Merrick SCREAMS in pain and drops to the floor. He’s writhing in pain. He looks in the direction of the pain. His leg above his heel has been sliced wide open and bleeding profusely. Merrick hears a noise; it’s a FIGURE IN BLACK slithering out from underneath the bed.
MERRICK (CONT’D):Oh shit!
He struggles to get to his feet. But the injured leg won’t hold and he stumbles, so he uses the row of beds to propel himself toward the exit.
He looks over his shoulder just as the masked killer smashes him in the throat, knocking him down. He drags his body upright and starts to hobble away. The figure follows at a slow methodical pace.
Time is being taken to enjoy Merrick’s struggles and terror. Merrick can’t scream. His Adam’s apple has been caved in.
MERRICK: (barely audible) No, no, please don’t kill me.
Suddenly the figure disappears. Merrick calms a bit and struggles to stand up.
INT. SANITARIUM – CORRIDOR – LATER
Merrick is now hobbling down a hallway using the wall for support. He’s about 10 feet from the doorway to the medical ward. A TRAIL OF BLOOD follows him. He turns and looks back, but the FIGURE IN BLACK is gone. Merrick sucks in a breath.
MERRICK: (whispering): Yes, fuck you, asshole
He keeps moving along, his breathing labored. As he nears a door, he slips in his own blood falling to the floor. Merrick moans in pain and struggles to get back up. He starts to break down emotionally.
SLOW MOTION:
The FIGURE IN BLACK turns the corner towards Merrick who staggers to his feet, fighting through the pain. Merrick is almost hysterical with fear.
RAMP BACK TO NORMAL SPEED:
MERRICK: (barely audible) Help!! Anybody, help…!
The FIGURE IN BLACK is now upon him and swings a HEAVY HAMMER viciously. Merrick goes down hard.
INT. SEYMOUR SANITARIUM – INDUSTRIAL DRYER – LATER
Merrick comes to. He’s in a small dark place. He MOANS and rubs his head. A little BIT OF LIGHT shines through a circular window. He sees that the walls are curved and potted with holes every inch or so. He feels the surface.
MERRICK: (sotto) A dryer?
He’s in an uncomfortable position and puts a hand down to adjust his body. Suddenly he YELPS and pulls his hand back.
His hand is cut. The bottom of the dryer is covered with SHARDS OF GLASS.
MERRICK (CONT’D):(sotto) What the hell?
He SEES movement through the window and looks. His mouth gapes.
MERRICK (CONT’D): You! That’s impossible, it can’t be.
OUTSIDE OF THE DRYER
WE SEE a gloved hand HIT a button. At first nothing happens.
Then the dryer SLOWLY CREAKS AND BEGINS TO SPIN. Inside, Merrick is panicking as his body is now turned a partial rotation sideways. He BANGS on the door.
MERRICK (CONT’D): Stop!! Let me outta here!!
THE DRYER PICKS UP SPEED AND NOW MOVES FASTER.
A STREAK OF BLOOD hits the wall. Then another and another. We can hear Merrick’s SCREAMS as the glass shards rip him to pieces. Soon the window is all red.
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Sunil Pappu’s Scary-As-Hell Scene
“What I learned doing this assignment is…how to create a horror map for a scene identifying emotions first and then writing the action.”
MY SCENE: END OF ACT 3 (All is lost)
Horror Situation: Face to Face with the monster
Horror Emotions (scene arc): From Anxiety to Hysteria
SCENE OUTLINE:
Release: Daisy plays hide and seek with Mike: Sarah hears their laughter as she cooks in her new kitchen inside the Darkroom. She is relaxed and humming. She shouts to Mike to check on his dad in the basement. Daisy says five more minutes of play.
Anxiety: Daisy in her blindfold searches for Mike. She peeks out of her blindfold and realizes she is not in the darkroom anymore…
A cold chill runs through her body. She hears the clicking sounds of the detectors and screams… Sarah feels the kitchen go cold and the stove light goes dim.
Surprise: Mike runs out with his walking stick and starts to point the infrared sensor at the detector to drive it away… but there is more than one of them.
Shock: He stumbles towards Daisy and drops his walker. He frantically looks for it and accidentally kicks it off the ledge trying to retrieve it. He bumps into a fallen chandelier and hides behind it.
Fear: Daisy is terrified and alone and hearing Mike’s voice jumps towards him and gets to safety. The reflected light from the chandelier confuses one of the detectors and it swipes its claws to destroy it getting closer to them.
Suspense: The other detector comes around from behind and finds Daisy and is about to scan her eyes.
Dread: Sarah charges towards the detector and shines an LED torch and swings Jason’s baseball bat to attract the detector toward her. She karate chops one detector and lands a kick into her eye.
Anguish: Sarah hears Daisy scream and removes her blindfold telling her daughter to keep her eyes shut. She throws her blindfold towards her.
Panic: The other detector tries to claw Sarah and cuts her hand. She swings the baseball bat with her injured hand. Mike finds a ball near his feet and throws it to her to hit. The detector slices off Sarah’s hand. Her hand holding the baseball drops onto the floor but the ball flies and hit the enormous eye.
Release: The detector is disoriented and shut off her inner transparent eyelid.
Surprise: Sarah uses her other hand to unsling her shotgun and presses the trigger to aim at the eye with one hand, but the eyelid is bulletproof.
Release: Sarah grabs a steel rod and jams it into the protruding belly after Mike’s sensor weakens it.
Terror: Fiberoptic-like cables burst forth from the protruding belly and grab Sarah. The enormous eye scans her eyes and pulls Sarah into her belly.
Hysteria: Sarah hears her son’s voice mimicked by the Detector and speaks to her imaginary son and gets sucked in. Daisy watches in shock and screams. Mike quietens her.
INT/EXT. DARKROOM – DAY
Daisy plays hide and seek with Mike. Sarah hears their laughter as she cooks in her new kitchen. She is relaxed and humming.
SARAH
Mike! Go check on dad… will ya?
DAISY
No! Mommy… five more minutes… it’s finally my turn… please…
SARAH
Okay. Daisy… five minutes… then dinner…
DAISY
Thanks, mommy… ready or not… here I come…
Daisy in her blindfold searches for Mike. She peeks out of her blindfold and realizes she is not in the darkroom anymore…
A cold chill runs through her body. She hears the clicking sounds of the detectors and screams…
Sarah feels the kitchen go cold and the stove light goes dim.
SARAH
Daisy? Mike?…
Mike runs out with his walking stick and points it around… His watch beeps…
AUTOMATED VOICE (V.O.)
(in a loop)
Attention! Object in path… Attention! object in path…
Mike freezes and presses the infrared sensor at the detector to drive it away… but there is more than one.
Mike feels a fresh chill behind him.
MIKE
Daisy?… Where are you…
Daisy in shock…
DAISY
(meekly)
I’m here… help me…
He turns and stumbles towards Daisy and drops his walker.
MIKE
Don’t worry… Daise…
He frantically looks for it and accidentally kicks it off the ledge trying to retrieve it. He bumps into a fallen chandelier and hides behind it.
DAISY
Mike! Mike…
MIKE
Just stay… close your eyes… no matter what…
Daisy is terrified and alone and hearing Mike’s voice jumps towards him and gets to safety.
The reflected light from the chandelier confuses one of the detectors and it swipes its claws to destroy it… getting closer to them.
The other detector comes around from behind and finds Daisy and is about to scan her eyes.
Daisy lets out a shrill scream…
Sarah charges towards the detector and shines an LED torch and swings Jason’s baseball bat to attract the detector toward her.
She karate chops one detector and lands a kick into its enormous eye.
DAISY
Mommy!!!…
Sarah hears Daisy scream and removes her blindfold.
SARAH
Daisy! Here… put this on…
She throws her blindfold towards her.
The other detector tries to claw Sarah and cuts her hand. She swings the baseball bat with her injured hand.
SARAH
Come on… you want this huh?
Mike finds a ball near his feet…
MIKE
Mom! Hit!…
… throws it to her to hit.
The detector slices off Sarah’s hand.
SARAH
(screams)
Oh shit! I’m hit!
Her hand holding the baseball drops onto the floor but the ball flies and hit the enormous eye.
The detector is disoriented but shut off her inner transparent eyelid. The ball cracks the glass but falls down.
Sarah uses her other hand to unsling her shotgun and presses the trigger to aim at the eye with one hand, but the eyelid is bulletproof.
SARAH
(screaming)
Yeah… yeah…
Sarah grabs a steel rod and jams it into the protruding belly after Mike’s sensor weakens it.
The Detector is limp and Sarah bandages her hand…
Fiberoptic-like cables burst forth from the protruding belly and grab Sarah. Sarah screams…
DAISY
Mommy!… Mommy…
The enormous eye scans her eyes and pulls Sarah into her belly. Detector mimics her son…
JASON (V.O.)
Mom… I hit the highest-ever home runs in my team… Mom… I miss you…
SARAH
(mesmerised)
Jason? My darling… how are you… I love you…
Sarah is slowly sucked into the enormous belly and gets swallowed up.
Daisy watches in shock and screams. Mike quietens her.
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Budinscak Scary As Hell Scene
Scary As Hell Scenes
Day 14
What I learned doing this assignment is…
o The proper sequence of emotions to maximize a horror scene.
o Proper use of releases and scares can give the audience an emotional rollercoaster ride.
o This will help develop our outlines.
1. Horror Situation:
After being freed by Vicki, the Social Media Influencers, Biff and Babs, can’t resist attempting to live stream their escape.
2. Sequence the Emotions:
Anxiety: After being freed from prison, Biff and Babs escape down a tunnel and arrive at a split where two different paths exist.
Scare: Biff walks into a large cobweb and reacts crazily, yet quietly. Babs records it.
Surprise: Babs checks for cell service when they hear a noticeable whirring sound behind them – it’s a drone.
Fear: The hide in a wall crevice as a drone hovers near them.
Suspense: A whooshing sound engulfs them and leaves. The drone follows it. Biff and Babs emerge from their hiding place and get ready to take a selfie.
Scare: The whooshing sound approaches and is on them in a flash.
Release: The whooshing sound is caused by bats.
Panic: After calming down, Babs finds she’s able to live stream from her phone. She and Biff get ready to take their selfie – in the background, the monster smiles for the camera.
INT – TUNNEL – NIGHT
Biff leads Babs down the faintly lit tunnel until he comes to a complete stop – and she crashes into him. The tunnel splits into two different paths.
BABS: Ouch. Why’d you stop?
BIFF: Which way to go?
Biff turns to find Babs fumbling with her phone. He’s nonplussed and a bit whiny.
BIFF: Really, Babs.
BABS: I’m just trying to see if maybe we can live stream our escape from here.
BIFF: Babs, that’s a really… great idea! Catch my good side.
Biff turns right into a large cobweb and goes instantly crazy wiping his face and neck clean. Babs smirks recording the entire scene.
BABS: That’s five stars.
Biff stops completely, he’s the only one who hears the whirring sound approaching. He signals for Babs to stop immediately. Her eyes widen when she spots the drone’s lights.
Biff stuffs her phone in his pants pocket, pulls her into a shallow crevice shielding her body with his. He holds her tight as the drone hovers nearby.
A whooshing sound engulfs them and leaves. The drone pursues the sound. The social media influencers emerge from hiding.
BABS: What the hell was that?
BIFF: Not sure, but at least it took the drone. Ready for my shot?
Babs chuckles to herself watching Biff and the cobweb video.
BIFF: You better delete that – now.
Babs still giggles.
BIFF: Do you have service? Can we stream?
BABS: Yes, we can.
They’re ready to take their selfie when Biff steps away.
BIFF: Do you hear that?
There’s no mistaking the whooshing sound. Biff and Babs struggle to see what’s coming at them. In an instant, hundreds of bats envelop Biff and Babs. Just as quickly, the bats are gone.
BABS: What the fuck was that?
BIFF: Bats. Let’s take this pic and get moving. We can stream, right?
Babs nods. She stretches her arm as far as possible to get the best picture. Biff and Babs both spot the monster standing right behind them.
The monster smiles for the camera before slashing the social media couple. Their demise is caught live on their video stream – it registers 5 stars.
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Joyce’s Scary as Hell Scene
WIL This is a good map for all the horror scenes.
INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT
Haley skirts the lockers in the dull light toward the library. She hears scraping, pauses, and quickens her pace.
The scraping seems ahead of her. She flattens against a locker.
Greg staggers from an adjacent hall.
Haley screams. surprise/shock
Greg wears his costume but now he has on the head.
HALEY
You bastard. Creeping up on me.
Haley reaches out and touches his arm.
HALEY
You found the tiger head.
He lunges at her in the hall, slams her legs against the locker..
HALEY
Let go of me.
Blood gushes from his neck.
Haley holds his head up inches, as he slides to the floor.
Haley pulls off the head.
His neck is slashed. She panics, limps on down the hallway to the library, yards from her.
Jon’s figure appears beneath an auxiliary light.
HALEY
Jon. Who’s with you? Help me.
He raises a bow with an arrow poised at her.
HALEY
No. No, no, no, you —
She throws the tiger head.
Jon sends an arrow at her neck.
Haley falls.
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Brian King’s Scary-As-Hell Scene
What I learned from… I reviewed horror emotions from lesson 10: Apprehension/Anxiety, Surprise, and Shock and incorporated those into the scene I wrote. Since the scene is the turn of Act One, those emotions fit nicely into the outline as I brainstormed the scene. . Using those emotions spit-balled the idea for the scene, which hadn’t been written or even outlined. Here’s the first draft. A decided improvement on a blank page.
INT. CORRIDOR – MORTUARY – DAY
Tess freezes outside a double door, takes a deep breath, and turns the door handle–
MOM’S BEDROOM – CONTINUOUS
Suffocating, eerie, blood-stained carpet and woman’s clothes scattered about—-Tess enters and blinks away the tears, takes a few tentative steps towards the walk-in closet, and removes a hat–
–Overflowing with women’s clothes–
Tess lays on the unmade bed, grabs and puts the pillow over he nose and mouth, and breathes deeply.
TESS
Mom. Mama. Why?
A blue sheet flutters off the bed to the floor–
Trembling, Tess reads off a tear-stained woman’s stationery.
TESS
”I can’t live like this.”
Her breathing escalates as she turns the paper over–blank–
–Her heart races, her forehead gets dewy, and she panics.
–She stumbles to open the window and takes a couple of shallow breaths until her coloring returns and she can breathe normally–she looks out a window and sees a–
–Girl–the one she saw earlier, still clutching a small box–
–Tess blinks, anxious to clear her vision–
–The Girl levels her with a cold, hard stare–
–Tess clutches the ankh that hangs around her neck.
TESS
Hello.
The Girl snarls and walks towards the cemetery.
>Part two<
INT. CEMETERY – NIGHT
The witching time of night and the moon casts long shadows among the tombstones. Tess, Gigi, and Sean, armed with phone flashlights, walk silently past a freshly dug grave.
Tess clutches a hat, the one from her mother’s closet, Gigi holds her hand and Sean smokes a joint and offers Gig a hit.
GIGI
Have a little respect?
SEAN
Okay.
He takes a hit and exhales into the ground below a tombstone–
Gigi sweeps her flashlight over the graves.
TESS
It’s over here.
The beam from her light hits a big pile of dirt–
–Her face twists into a sheer horror as she drops the–
–Hat, and it disappears in an open grave.
SEAN
What the–
GIGI
Let’s get out of here.
TESS
No-no-no.
She shines her light on the open casket and into a–
–Satin-lined empty void–
–The body is gone… not just anybody… her mother.
TESS
Why.
Gigi gasps, her hand flies over her mouth–
–Sean’s eyes widen, disbelief etched on his face.
GIGI
Where… where is she?
SEAN
(struggles for words)
No… fuck this…
He scans his phone light in every direction, as–
Gigi wraps her arms around Tess, the rock side to side–
–Sean’s phone light spears past a moving object–he jerks the light back at the shape and illuminates a–
–Girl, a few yards away, a creepy, otherworldly presence.
TESS
I know her.
GIGI
You do?
TESS
(to the Girl)
What do you want?
GIRL
She offers Tess the urn and speaks in a chilling whisper–
GIRL
Secret.
TESS
What?
The Girl curls her lip into a sinister smile and a gut-wrenching feral cry.
GIRL
Ah!
She runs at Tess —
–Drops the urn at her feet and–
–Disappears into the darkness.
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Frances Williams Scary-As-Hell Scenes
What I Learned doing this Assignment is how to add depth to your horror scenes.
Ext -Base Camp -Evening
The group is sitting at Base r unaware of the danger that lies beneath them and that a monster is clawing his way out of the bowels of Hell.
Anxiety-As they are sleeping they keep hearing noises in the woods near the cave.
Shock As Blake goes into the woods to get more wood for the fire, something grabs his arms from a hole near the old abandoned mine and starts to drag him beneath the ground.
Fear -John rushes to aid Blake and can see the claw pulling him down, he torches the cake until it is dead.
Dread-Blake asks John if the claw is dead, reluctantly he grabs the claw to check for a sign of life.
Panic-Everything is calm around the camp, then suddenly the Monster burst through a hole in the ground causing panic and everyone to scatter.
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Bill Curley Scary As Hell. Learned: The combination of this lesson with skilled placement of emotions gives rise to a potentially superb horror script. I have improved my story immensely. INT – Police Car – Day. Two Three Lakes Police Officers rush to a distress call placed by thier Chief, AL Verbel. Officers Lisa Rawlins and Isia Loomis head to a construction site next to a reputed Indian burial ground. RAWLINS Chief said there were reports of giant sized forest creatures in a near by woods. Wanted us as backup. LOOMIS. What! That,s absurd. RAWLINS. I know. Sounds preposterous. Isiah, those were his very words. Suddenly a radio call. VERBAL ( O.C.) Lisa, over? RAWLINS. Go ahead, Chief. VERBEL (O.C.) They retreated back into the woods.Your 20? RAWLINS. Coming to you. Five minutes out. VERBAL (O.C.) 10 4. RAWLINS. He actually saw those things. LOOMIS. What things? What did he see? RAWLINS. Giant porcupines. Raccoons. Both bigger than a black bear. LOOMIS. Fucking Insane. RAWLINS. I think that Indian burial ground is connected. My boyfriend is into Native American stuff. Said there are legends about monsters. Bam! Another radio call. VERBAL ( O.C.) Lisa, there,s something else coming out of the woods behind the trailer. OMG These things are God damn monsters. Half man, half animal. Beat No. No. They,re coming straight for me. RAWLINS. Chief, were almost on top of you. VERBEL ( O.C.) I..I can,t stop them. Thier fucking ugly. Someone opened the gates to hell. Gunfire heard. More shots. .VERBEL ( O. C.) They won,t stop. It,s that bog. They,re coming from the forest. No. O,God, no. The 2 cops arrive a minute later. Find a half devoured chief. RAWLINS. Fuck . Fuck me. The Monsters remain. Assemble. Ready for another attack.
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Jackson Lee’s ‘Scary As Hell’ Horror Scene
What I learned: How to combine the different elements of the class to create one terrifying scene.
Scene: Isolated/Paranoia: Unaware that SAMI has been killed, DEE has retrieved the WEAPON.
Fear: DEE is walking alone through the halls, the WEAPON in her pocket.
Anxiety: She is hearing strange noises, and something approaching.
Scare: When she checks it out she bumps into a figure.
Release: She stumbles away, before realizing it is just SAMI.
Shock: DEE and SAMI talk for a little bit, until SAMI slips up.
Suspense: The audience wonders who will make the first move, as the characters take a long walk outside, after being encouraged by ‘SAMI’.
Horror: Seeing SAMI’s body, brutally murdered, she knows it is coming for her.
Suspense: DEE musters up enough courage to fire the weapon, after holding it in her quivering hand for several seconds.
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INT—SCHOOL/HALLWAY—DAY
DEE BAKER walks through the halls. Having retrieved the WEAPON from the SAFE, she now looks for SAMI, not knowing that the DOPPELGÄNGER has already killed him.
She hears strange sounds coming from a room. She creeps forward to investigate, weapon in hand, but it is just SAMI.
SAMI
Hey, What’s that your holding.
DEE
Nothing, What are you doing here. Shouldn’t you be laying the trap.
SAMI
Oh Right. I started looking for you because I had a few questions about it.
SAMI and DEE walk through the halls together, awkwardly, until they reach the exit.
EXT—SCHOOL—DAY
As they walk out DEE starts to notice signs of struggle. Broken objects. Blood, and finally SAMI’s corpse. DEE pulls the weapon, but struggles to fire it long enough for the DOPPELGÄNGER to turn around and plead.
SAMI
Whoa whoa whoa. What are you doing.
DEE (in tears):
Trying to end this.
SAMI:
It doesn’t have to be this way. Remember how long we’ve known each other.
DEE:
I knew him, (pointing to the corpse) not you. And now you murdered him.
She looks away, and fires.
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Subject line: (Marissa’s ) Scary-As-Hell Scene
What I learned: This class is excellent and the step by step approach is very effective
SCENE: Anxiety to Panic.
Children are on the playground. The adversary lingers.
Anxiety: An unknown woman near the playground. She engages with the children. Adair takes notice and remains on edge.
Surprise/scare: Adair returns her attention back to the Church ladies. When she glances back at Jo and the children, they are gone. The playground is empty. The children are gone as well as the strange figure. Adair screams and yells for Jo. The other mothers respond.
Release: The children run out from hide and seek and fill the playground laughing at their parents.
Shock: There is no Jo
Fear: ADAIR frantically searches and questions all of the children.
Dread: She calls her husband to come to meet her at the playground and help her search.
Release: An unknown/unmet Church lady from the far end of the park carries a child to Adair.
Panic: a deformed face turns and vomits on Adair. Adair screams. She looks at the woman who has black eyes and begs for her child. Adair runs.
Anguish: Adair shouts for Jo but all she sees are black eyes. The church ladies have disappeared. The children have all turned to demonic faces creeping towards her. Adair runs to her car. She meets her husband who holds Jo’s shoes.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by Marissa Lichwick.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by Marissa Lichwick.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by
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Chuck Czech’s Scary-As-Hell Scene
What I learned — we’re kind of pulling it all together, creating scenes built on the conventions of horror. Another fun writing challenge — I hope I didn’t overdo it with four pages of script….
<div>
</div>Here’s a scene at the end of Act 2, just after the villain drives our two main characters off a lonely stretch of road:
<div>
Apprehension — Kay and Becca are stalled at an old grain elevator
Fear — the Machinist arrives and circles them
Suspense — Kay tries to arrest the Machinist — he has the third victim in his truck
Surprise — Kay is trapped in the underground grain pit
Anguish — Becca’s all alone and vulnerable
Panic — Becca races from the truck; the Machinist almost catches her
Terror — Becca phases into the World Between and is chased by the Demon
Dread — Becca phases back to the real world right into the hands of the Machinist
Shock — the Machinist assaults Becca
EXT. GRAIN ELEVATOR/PARKING LOT – NIGHT
The SUV skids to a stop, shrouded in a cloud of dust. They’ve come to a stop in a weed-covered parking lot below a rickety wooden grain elevator. It’s a long-forgotten, towering sentinel on the prairie.
KAY: They didn’t teach that kind of driving at the academy.
BECCA: It was him.
KAY: We don’t know that.
BECCA: I do.
Kay puts the SUV in gear and the vehicle SHRIEKS PAINFULLY.
KAY: Shit. I think I broke something. Maybe a spring. An axle. We aren’t going any where.
As she reaches for her radio, the SUV is sprayed by headlights. The Machinist’s truck pulls into the parking and makes a wide loop around them.
BECCA: Oh God. Told you…
KAY: Keep your pants on, this might be an opportunity.
Kay activates the radio and requests assistance. No response. The Machinist circles again. Then with a CRACKLE, a Dispatcher speaks and Kay gives their location.
ON THE MACHINIST’S TRUCK
It drives into view of SUV’s headlights. A YOUNG WOMAN can be seen in the passenger’s seat.
BACK TO KAY AND BECCA
BECCA: Look! He’s got someone! A girl!
KAY: You sure?
BECCA: The third victim!
Kay hands Becca the radio and draws her gun.
KAY: If anyone calls in, tell them I’m engaging the suspect. He’s got a hostage. I’ll try to hold him till backup arrives. Keep these flashers on and the doors locked. Whatever you do, don’t get out.
Kay checks her handgun then slides out of the SUV. The locks CLICK and Becca hugs the radio.
ON KAY
watching the Machinist drive into the elevator’s drive-through.
KAY: Shit!
Kay darts to the elevator. She peers into the drive-through — the Machinist has parked on the other side of the dilapidated building. He’s dragging the Young Woman’s limp body out of the truck.
KAY (gun raised): Stop right there! Police! Let’s see those hands!
The Machinist drops the Young Woman and places his hands behind his head. He walks slowly toward Kay.
KAY: Stop! I mean it! Turn around and kneel.
The Machinist complies. Kay’s wired. She edges closer to the Machinist — shoots a glance at the Young Woman. Is she still alive?
Kay’s almost on him when the planks beneath her feet CRACK and splinter. Kay tries jumping to the solid metal tracks the Machinist drove on, but she loses footing and drops into an underground grain pit.
The Machinist rises and looks into the pit.
Kay is clutching a rusty metal slope that empties into a pitch-dark trough further below ground.
With amazing strength, The Machinist hoists a large metal grate, and with a huge CRASH, drops it over the pit. Kay is trapped underground.
INT. KAY’S TRUCK – CONTINUOUS
Becca is clutching the radio.
DISPATCHER (O.S.): Are your flashers still activated? We’ll look for them as we get closer.
BECCA: Yes.
DISPATCHER (O.S.): What is the status of Officer Lund?
BECCA: I can’t see her — wait!
Becca sees the Machinist emerge from the grain elevator and march directly for the SUV. He’s carrying a tire iron and there’s anger in his steps.
BECCA: He’s coming! He’s coming right for me!
DISPATCHER (O.S.): I advise you to remain in the vehicle. We have personnel on the way.
The Machinist is illuminated by the flashers — he’s 60 feet away — then 40 — then 20.
Becca bolts from the SUV.
EXT. GRAIN ELEVATOR/PARKING LOT – CONTINUOUS
Becca sprints for the road, looking for police lights.
The Machinist is faster. He closes the distance and pushes Becca to the ground. She spills onto the gravel, scraping elbows and knees. The Machinist raises the tire iron — but Becca disappears from sight.
EXT. BECCA/THE WORLD WITHIN – CONTINUOUS
The ghoulish version of the Machinist stands over Becca, the Demon clinging to his back. As it disentangles itself, Becca springs to her feet and scrambles to the elevator office.
As she reaches the door-less entrance, she glances behind her. The Demon is free of the Machinist and is scanning for her.
INT. GRAIN ELEVATOR OFFICE/THE WORLD WITHIN – CONTINUOUS
Becca takes cover in the darkness behind a counter. She hugs her knees, holds her breath, and waits.
The Demon’s silhouette darkens the office entrance. Becca squeezes her eyes shut. She can hear the Demon’s calloused feet SCRAPE THE WOODEN FLOOR, its RAGGED BREATH HISSING.
After a moment of silence, Becca opens her eyes — the Demon is standing a few feet away, its back to her. She looks at her right hand — it’s trembling — and the wound she received from touching the Demon is glowing red.
Suddenly, the Demon spins and lunges for Becca. She rolls clear and scurries down a cobwebbed corridor.
EXT. GRAIN ELEVATOR/BACK ENTRANCE/THE WORLD BETWEEN – CONTINUOUS
Becca leaps through the back door and slides an ancient barn door shut. The Demon SMASHES against it from the inside.
ON BECCA/THE WORLD BETWEEN
Becca races past the Machinist’s truck, around the corner of the elevator, and toward the SUV.
EXT. GRAIN ELEVATOR/SUV – CONTINUOUS
Becca reappears in the real world. She pops the SUV’s hatch and rummages for anything she could use as a weapon. She reaches for some road flares — but a strong hand seizes her by her hair and throws her to the ground. The Machinist.
Becca tries crawling away, but he grabs her ankle and pulls her toward him. He straddles her, ignoring her punches. He tears open her shirt and kisses her.
Becca SCREAMS for her life.
The Machinist punches her, stunning her. Then his body tenses, his head twists to the sky. When he looks down at Becca, he has the evil visage we’ve seen before. The Demon is back.
MACHINIST: You’re a sneaky little girl, aren’t you? You know what happens to sneaky little girls?
The Machinist pulls at her jeans, tugging them below her waist.
A GUNSHOT — and a bullet ZINGS past the Machinist’s head. He looks —
Kay has partially squeezed out from under the grate. Though her body’s twisted, she FIRES AGAIN. The bullet ZINGS closer. The Machinist rises and spreads his arms, like ‘bring it on’.
POW! POW! POW! All misses. The Machinist laughs.
Then he turns toward the gravel road — it’s washed with blue and red flashing lights — a pair of patrol cars.
The emergency lights illuminate everything — Becca’s limp body, Kay wriggling out of the pit, and the misshapen Machinist with his arms spread. Inexplicably, unbelievably, the Machinist levitates into the air and disappears into the darkness above.
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Brian G. Walsh’s Scary-As-Hell Scene
What I learned doing this assignment is creating an industry standard horror script requires many elements working in tandem.
SCENE:
INT. MINE TUNNEL – NIGHT
Raleigh and Christine search with their flashlights.
The ground shakes slightly. They exchange a glance.
RALEIGH
If there’s another quake while we’re down
here . . .
The tunnel narrows. Raleigh must stoop to avoid hitting his head. Christine chuckles.
CHRISTINE
Sometimes being a beanstalk ain’t
such a good thing.
RALEIGH
I know you hate short jokes, but . . .
CHRISTINE
But I am a short joke.
Christine laughs.
CHRISTINE
Good old high-school humor. I haven’t
heard that one in twenty years.
Raleigh stares at her, sad.
RALEIGH
I wish things had been different.
Soft whispering surrounds them. They both freeze.
CHRISTINE
What was that?
RALEIGH
I think we’re getting close.
THUD
They drop to a crouch and freeze.
A huge, rusted old chisel lies in the dirt.
Raleigh blows out his breath. Christine pats her heart.
Raleigh picks up the chisel and feels its heft. He walks to the ledge it fell from, examines it.
RALEIGH
I wonder what fool left this high up
where it could hurt someone.
Christine kneels at the spot the chisel fell, examining the imprint it left in the dirt. Something metallic shines under the dirt.
CHRISTINE
I think there’s something under here.
A shadow falls across her. Believing it’s Raleigh, she nods to the metal in the ground.
CHRISTINE
See what I –
She turns –
Bartholomew Keene lunges for her.
Christine jumps aside and rolls.
Keene lands on the spot, face-first.
Raleigh pulls Christine to her feet.
Raleight grips the chisel with both hands.
Keene bounces to his feet as if pulled by the strings of a puppet master.
Raleigh runs full speed at Keene.
Keene turns –
Raleigh THRUSTS the chisel into Keene’s mid-section.
Raleigh drives Keene straight against the wall –
Impaling Keene.
Keene drops face-first to the dirt. The chisel sticks out through his back.
Shaking badly, Raleigh staggers back against the wall. He sinks to his knees, weak from exertion.
Raleigh stares at Keene, expectant. Raleigh is short of breath, gulping air.
Christine circles Keene’s body. She grips the chisel protruding from his back. She tests it, but it is lodged tight in the corpse’s middle.
RALEIGH
Don’t get too close!
Christine KICKS Keene in the side. She KICKS him in the head.
Christine goes to Raleigh, slides down beside him.
CHRISTINE
You did it!
Raleigh sighs, his breath returning to normal.
CHRISTINE
There’s no light coming from inside him.
Christine hugs Raleigh. Their eyes meet.
Christine backs off, uncomfortable.
Raleigh nods, resigned to his status and fate.
RALEIGH
Yeah, I know. I’m still an escaped
prisoner.
CHRISTINE
Why did you have to kill Arnold Fanning?
If you could’ve just . . .
RALEIGH
What? If I could have just . . . what?
(beat)
When I tried to stop him from releasing
those demons he tried to kill me. It was
him or me.
(beat)
He made a deal to release those demons. Nothing
I or anybody else said or did would have stopped
him.
Christine stands. She holds out her hand to Raleigh.
CHRISTINE
So, what happens next?
RALEIGH
We have to find that cross and place it back
on the priest’s body to make sure those
demons stay locked inside him.
The chisel EXPLODES out from Keene’s body.
It is embedded in the ceiling.
Blinding light seeps from the gaping wound in Keene’s mid-section. Facing away from them, Keene is yanked to his feet by invisible strings.
The chisel drops from the ceiling –
Keene catches it.
Hugging the wall, Raleigh and Christine ease away from him.
Keene sniffs the air. He turns slowly to face them.
Raleigh pulls Christine.
Keene FIRES the chisel at them.
The chisel passes right through Christine’s collar, pinning her to the wall.
Keene LAUNCHES himself at her –
Raleigh steps in the way –
Keene bowls him over, then hits the ground.
Raleigh is slammed against the wall.
Christine struggles to break free.
Keene gets to his knees.
Christine kicks Keene in the face.
Keene grabs her leg, pulls himself up.
Keene gets in Christine’s face.
Christine grabs the crucifix around her neck and
SHOVES it in Keene’s face.
The Demon Voices SCREAM in agony.
Keene recoils in horror. His body flips end-over-end and hits the ground.
Christine TEARS free from her uniform shirt.
Raleigh grabs her arm. They both run for their lives.
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Avi Kapurala’s Scary-As-Hell-Scene
What I learned: how to add more layers to a horror scene and rewrite it for maximum effect.
Scene: Pursued/Deceptive (Lured into the trap).
Laura and Scott are making their way back to the house, unaware that they are being lured back by design.
Apprehension: They’re in a clearing and hear rustling behind them.
Scare: The rustling gets closer and a twig cracks. They are scared to death.
Release: A raccoon walks out of the bushes. They gasp…and then laugh in relief.
Shock: They hurry forward. Scott stumbles and they look down to see a tripwire.
Dread: They freeze in place, afraid, but nothing happens.
Anguish: They take a step forward and a cracking sound is heard. An arrow flies through the air and buries itself in Scott’s thigh.
Panic: More arrows fly as they try to rush forward. Some of them miss and some hit Scott. He’s injured and bleeding.
Anguish: Laura has been forced to leave Scott behind and rushes into the house.
Release: She sees a phone in the foyer.
Horror: She finds a box with her name next to the phone in the foyer. She opens it to find…Emma’s severed head.
Hysteria: She tries to run out of the house, but the door is locked. She turns and runs inside, but there’s another box in the living room. She runs out of there into another room and finds…another box.
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