Lesson 14

[karl gromelski]

(Your Name’s) Great Action Set Piece!

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

Pre-action.

After having noticed the white guy in the scam center, and then seeing him at the loft raid – girl & Hero figure this man is at the center of what’s going on.

they don’t know who he is, but they know that he’s important.

they put out a call-for-dox on him and get a hacker to offer to meet at Harrahs.

She tells him that she’ll help – but after this, he’s on his own.

Hero tries to go in – but they’re checking ID, everybody’s.

Hero wants to abort. Girl takes charge.

Action.

TWIST: Girl goes in with Hero – shows her Seven Star card, they glide past security and police.

They go into gift shop to Harrah-ize themselves. Blend in.

She uses a port to the cash register to hack into Harrahs.

She hacks into the security feed. They haven’t been noticed.

They go to craps. wait for somebody to play 13 and 37.

ANXIETY: Police & security patrol – increasing tension. Then a guy plays the numbers.

they approach. Hacker stalls them – they notice.

He finally tells them guy is checked into Monteleon under “?”

TWIST/ FEAR: Girls alarm goes off – they’re being monitored.

CIA guys show up.

Hacker volunteers to meet them in the front. They agree.

TWIST: He leaves. Walks slowly in middle of aisle – not afraid… signaling someone?

Girl watches on security feed… he’s a traitor.

Security splits into two groups.

They head for the back.

“What about our ride?” “They’ve got eyes on him. He must have alerted them to us.”

DANGER: Hide near slots. Security closing in.

SURPRISE: Girl takes out hacking device – causes woman playing to win.

“how do you think I got to be a 7 star?”
TWIST/ SHOCK: Woman screams – excitied. Everybody looks their way.

SUSPENSE: People rush to see jackpot.

Security approach…

EXCITEMENT: Security can’t get close enough – Girl & Hero slip out in the elevator.

Then at tunnel entrance – go through employee tunnels.

Post action.

ADRENALINE: they double check security. they’re safe BUT…

Her photo is now with Hero’s. Both are being sought. That’s new.

They head to underground valet garage.

They pick locks to doors – find the one that goes to a tunnel.

TWIST: What is this? Tunnels used to transport slaves under the city during auctions.
Should take us to the French Quarter.
They pop up in a restaurant cellar – wine room. Dusty & cobwebbed.
They take off their Harrah cover.

Go to Monteleon? What if it’s a set-up?

“no choice. we get to him, we get answers why you’re a fugitive. and why they’re after me now, too.”

[ray Moore]

Ray’s Unique Action

What I learned doing this assignment is how to add uniqueness to an action scene to make it more interesting.

1. Looking at your entire story, what is unique about each of these places:

1.Environment: Hero’s mother’s greenhouse

2. Rules: Don’t mess with Mama

3. Villain: Villain’s lack of love in his heart

4. Mission: Villain’s attempt to kidnap the hero’s mother

5. Struggle: Protect loved ones and the portal device

6. Unique Skillset: hero’s mother is a master with plant life

7. Meaning: The mother has tricks up her sleeve to protect her and her garden

8. Allies: Hero’s partner sense of timing and speed and unpredictableness in a situation

9. Weapon: Using the hero’s mother as a bargaining tool to get the portal device

2. Brainstorm ways to make one or more of those places unique:

A. What if the hero’s mother can fight

B. The hero’s mother defends herself with her plants

C. Specific to character or environment. Greenhouse has exotic plants and she will protect them with her life

D. Shocking or Surprising. The mother is fighting her attackers

E. Go opposite.The mother using household items to protect herself

F. What haven’t we seen? The mother using one of her plants to kill some of the Hitsquad and escapes