Lesson 14

[Monica Arisman]

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Lesson 14: Writing Great Action Set Pieces

Subject: Monica’s Great Action Set Piece!

What I learned doing this assignment is how to break down each action scene in order for it to have meaning and more.

Take an Action Set Piece from your outline and use the steps above to turn it into an amazing experience for the reader and audience.

1. Build in the meaning.

· Set-up: Victoria and her old friend from police college, Serena, end up being undercover on the same operation.

Pre-Action: The night club is raided by the police
and Victoria and Serena have to escape.
Action: Victoria ends up in the alley behind the
club where they encounter Jack (the villain) running away. She’s beating
him up when Serena shows up.
Post-Action: They all go their separate
ways until Jack shoots at them wounding Victoria. Serena takes care of
Victoria’s GSW.

2. Make the Action Unique.

STEP 1: List your 9 Places For Uniqueness.

Environment: The “underworld of crime” of
a big city. Newly opened “gentlemen’s club”.
Rules:
Have to follow police procedure for undercover whereas the human
traffickers has an anything goes policy.
Villain: Fit into the high echelons of
society.
Mission:
Infiltrate the human trafficking ring. Find Victoria’s sister who
has been missing for several years.
Struggle:
Think like the human traffickers without losing sight of who you
are.
Unique Skillset: The ability to fit into
the human trafficking ring and switch back and forth between them and the
police.
Meaning: Keep law and order but slowly
sees that law and order are chains that bind the ordinary person and must
think outside the box to bring the human traffickers down.
Allies: Undercover officers, HT victims
wanting justice
Weapon: Guns

STEP 2: Use Strategies for Uniqueness to elevate them.

A. What if…?

Villain – what if the
villain also belongs to a satanic cult and some of the victims are meant
for human sacrifice.
Mission – what if the
undercover operatives also infiltrate some of the country clubs where
girls are being sourced – how far up the societal chain does the
trafficking exist – Who knows? What do they know? How are they to be
stopped?

B. Take to an extreme – Weapons – use
drones, body cams, bugs, more surveillance, use white magic to counter
their dark magic
C. Specific to character or environment –
Could make the environment a small town instead of a big city – more shock
value when the human trafficking comes to light.
D. Shocking or Surprising – Villain – Victoria
could try to seduce the guy to get secrets as she’s a big fan of the
Allied female spies in WWII and how they got information from the Germans,
instead of plying him with more drugs.
E. Go opposite.
F. What haven’t we seen? – Rules – hack
into the villain’s personal information, bank accounts, etc. and move out
the money. And NOT get caught.

3. Create through the 9 Action Emotions.

Anxiety: Will she ever find her sister? Dead or alive.

Fear: Victoria’s fear is that she’ll be found out to be an undercover police officer.

Relief: Serena helps her but she might blow her hard earned cover as Serena’s been undercover on this mission for a few years.

Surprise: Daniel is furious that Victoria got hurt.

Shock: Jack circles back to the alley to collect Victoria’s blood.

Suspense: What’s Jack going to do now that he’s shot one of his supposed team?

Danger: What’s Jack going to do with Victoria’s blood?

Excitement: Victoria plans on making Jack’s life more miserable.

Adrenaline: Beating Jack up releases some of Victoria’s strain on her nerves.

4. Add in more twists.

Danger: The police raid the club. Victoria gets shot.

Safety: Help arrives.

New Threat: Jack’s obsession with Victoria’s blood.

Unexpected Support: Serena is a white witch.

Identity or Plan Exposed: Jack is into something that doesn’t bode well for his victims.

Identity Hidden: Serena can counter act anything evil Jack is into.

Deceived: Thought the mission is about shutting down a human trafficking ring. Finding her sister.

Surprising Truth: Mission is also about shutting down the rise in satanic “churches” using human trafficking victims as sacrifices.

Betrayal: Beatrice betrays Victoria to Jack.

Surprising Alliance: Then Beatrice betrays Jack as she’s not into his deviant behavior.

Lost Resources: The local authorities and some members of her team are compromised. New Resources: Some of the victims and some of the recruiters want to help shut Jack and Beatrice down.

It Just Got Worse: Jack decides Victoria should be sacrificed.

It Just Got Better: But help arrives – until Jack’s own security team shows up.

Unexpected Weapon: Exorcist priest.

Surprising Response: Some of them actually want to make the world a better place and he’s trained in martial arts.

Reversal:

Reverse the Reversal:

[Evelyn Brooks]

Evelyn’s Great Action Set Piece! What I learned doing this assignment is by using the steps and not skipping any of them (because I think I’ve already got the locations etc figured out and even set in fast-drying cement) I am open to more creativity and fun twists! A big change for my story is that I moved the final fight scene outdoors, in Mikki’s back yard, and added a lot of twists and surprises to what I had planned.

This outline is for the final fight that leads to the story’s conclusion when Reinaldo recovers from his injuries and Mikki and Ava bring him home from the hospital.

ADRENALINE Mikki goes to house of Shayla’s parents to brainstorm answer to a clue the kidnapper texted about looking “closer to home” – and SHOCK discovers Jaynie and Marv’s bodies in garbage bags in the laundry room [we know that Shayla shot her parents]

SUSPENSE; Mikki texts Shayla, asks her to meet her at Mikki’s house

FEAR At home, Mikki gets Reinaldo’s gun from the safe, and loads it.

ADRENALINE Shayla arrives at Mikki’s house. Mikki gently tells her that someone shot her parents. Shayla collapses and Mikki runs to the kitchen to get water—while we see Shayla send a text to her allies Peg and Flint SUSPENSE

ANXIETY Shayla goes in the backyard and gets a beer at the cabana area. Mikki sits with her, offering to call the police about Jaynie and Marv’s murders.

SUSPENSE Peg and Flint come in the back yard

SHOCK Mikki realizes they are with Shayla, and Shayla is the kidnapper

ADRENALINE Mikki begs them to tell her where Ava is, and promises she almost has all the ransom money

EXCITEMENT Peg and Flint start doing a few warm up moves, sparring with each other while Mikki looks on in confusion

SHOCK Shayla attacks Mikki

ADRENALINE Mikki fights back, grabbing a pool broom and using it as an impromptu weapon

DANGER Peg and Flint join the fight – it’s 3 against 1, and they are all bigger than Mikki

SURPRISE Mikki improvises weapons with various tools available in her backyard, knocks out Peg and Flint

EXCITEMENT Shayla is enraged and leaps at Mikki, like we’ve seen her do to opponents in fight club bouts

SHOCK Mikki is ready for her, steps aside and slams her with a patio chair, knocking her out.

FEAR Mikki begs Shayla (again) to tell her where she is hiding Ava, but Shayla is out cold.

SUSPENSE We see Ava tied up inside the guest house, drugged, but she starts stirring

SUSPENSE Mikki ties up the three attackers, looks around, starts to give up and go inside the house, but hears a clunking noise in the guest house nearby.

EXCITEMENT Mikki finds Ava inside the guest house and… RELIF… rescues her daughter, unharmed.

[BG]

ACTION LESSON 14 – Writing Great Action Set Pieces

ASSIGNMENT

BG’s Great Action Set Piece!

What I learned doing this assignment: I thought this was another great exercise. Even though the previous version of my action scene did imply a change in the relationship between the two leads, building in the meaning as instructed in this lesson improved the scene enormously.

SETUP: REPORTER convinced HOSTESS to help him rescue his friend, HACKER, from the safehouse. She said yes, because she, too, needs HACKER.

PRE-ACTION: As the team crawls on the grass toward the safehouse, HOSTESS is having second thoughts: She can’t believe agreed to such a hare-brained, dangerous plan.

ACTION: Multiple things going wrong becomes a test of their relationship: They face being killed or found out. But the team is finally out the door with the unconscious HACKER in a bag.

POST-ACTION: After so many things going wrong, will she continue to use him as her asset? As they run toward the cars, she pats him on the back — all sins forgiven! As they drive away, they bicker like a married couple — they are a team now.

MEANING: This action scene took HOSTESS from viewing REPORTER as an intelligence asset to viewing him as a partner in implementing their mutual objective.

[Pat GALBRAITH Galbraith]

ASSIGNMENT: 14.

Pat Galbraith’s: Great Action Set piece.

What I learned from this assignment is :how to build a scene to make sure it has a meaning.

Take an Action Set Piece from your outline and use the steps above to turn it into an amazing experience for the reader and audience.

1. Build in the meaning.

Pre-Action
The gang discuss killing Henry Brice’s whole family
Brice’s
wife is concerned why he’s late.

Action: She takes Brice at gunpoint, but he
overpowers her and she reacts quickly and throws her knife, hitting him in
the throat. He bleeds out quickly.

Post-Action
She makes the decision to let the family go.

2. Make the Action Unique.

STEP 1: List your 9 Places for Uniqueness.

Environment: Brice’s home where
his family is being held captive.
Rules: Anything goes as well as
killing his family
Villain: The Villain must die.
Mission: To kill Henry Brice.
The man who killed her brother
Struggle: She takes him by
gunpoint, but he takes the gun away from her.
Unique Skillset: She knows how
to use a knife and surprises us with how she kills him.
Meaning: She doesn’t have to
kill his family to be satisfied about what Brice did.
Allies: She has her friends
waiting in the back room, wants to
do this on her own.
Weapon: Gun, Knife.

STEP 2: Use Strategies for Uniqueness to elevate them.

A. What if…? She gets hurt really bad during this confrontation.<div>

B. Take to an extreme. – have us think he’s got her.

She
surprises us with the knife.

C. Specific to character or environment.: In his home, he pretty sure she’s going
kill his family.

D. Shocking or Surprising. When he gets control of her.
When she throws the knife..

E. Go opposite. Not killing the family; Surprise of
using a knife to kill him.

F. What haven’t we seen? Brice’s family. and home.

3. Create through the 9 Action Emotions (Lesson 10 – 12)

Anxiety: Foreshadow, hint to, or create expectation of possible trouble to come. Danger lurks around them. Brice;s wife stands at the kitchen sink. She looks worried.

Fear: Create a sense of impending danger, but not expected death for the characters.

Mrs. Brice looks up at the clock, her husband is late.

Relief: Set up tension/fear/shock, then remove the threat, returning us to a state of “normal.” It’s over, for now. When she thinks she hears her husband come in she gets a sense of relief.

Surprise: Create an unexpected situation that startles. Mrs. Brice opens the door to see Myra and her friends. Ready for revenge.

Shock: Create a surprise that elevates the level of fear and has significant repercussions.

When Myra tells Mrs. Brice what she’s there for.

Suspense: Set up a significant consequence and delay the delivery. The waiting period for Mrs. Brice’s husband to come home.

Danger: Create a situation where peril is imminent or they are currently in peril and more/new danger is imminent.

The look on Brices’ face when he sees Myra and her friends. He knows what she there for.

Excitement: A) Create something that is visually spectacular or unique. B) Create action that the Hero has control of and/or is winning, thus giving the audience the fun side of the fight/race.

Adrenaline: Put your audience in a dangerous, frightening, or highly competitive situation, as well as the feelings of heightened energy and excitement.

4. Add in more twists.

Added twists

She had the intent of killing the whole family but

Changing her mind about killing Henry Brice’s’ family

Danger =========The family is let go.================ Safety

Deceived ======Captain================ Surprising Truth

Attacked ====================== Protected

Attacked the family, but let them go after the captain was killed.

Lost Resources Gun New Resources Knife

It Just Got Worse Brice is killed It /Just Got Better the family was released

Unexpected Weapon – Knife/ Surprising Response/ Brice grabs his throat.

5. Rewrite by going back over Steps 1 – 4 to elevate it.

Int. Brice Home – Day

Mrs. Brice works in her kitchen, the kids run through the house. She corrects them

Mrs. Brice

Settle in children your dad will be home soon.

She hears the front door open, lays her dish rag on the table.

Mrs Brice

That should be him now.

She heads to the front door.

The door flies open and Myra and the boys bust in.

Mrs. Brice

What’s this? What’s going on.

She backs up has they make their way into the house.

Myra

We’re looking for Captain Henry Brice?

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[Patricia Steffy]

Patricia’s Great Action Set Piece!

What I learned during this assignment is that with the proper setup, pre-action, etc, I don’t have to be so on-the-nose about the meaning. The audience will get it. Also, there is something fitting about working on this project during a once in a century storm in Southern California. 🙂

Build in the Meaning:

SETUP: Even though Donovan has tried to warn them off, Sykes leads the last bus out of the prison before the historic storm arrives. Sykes taunts Donovan — makes it clear that people like Donovan are the reason he is stuck working in the prison for the rest of his life. Donovan turns down a chance to be on the bus out in order to help the people left behind.

PRE-ACTION: Handcuffed to the bus seats, the inmates are evacuated as the storm approaches the barren fields that surround the prison. Sykes is riding shotgun (literally), while the driver nervously tries to find a way to keep the windshield clear of the pounding snow.

ACTION: The bus stalls. The driver tries continually tries the starter. For a second, it seems to catch. Just as hope settles in over the inmates, an explosion rips through the engine, killing the driver instantly and setting the front section of the bus on fire. Sykes is blown out the doors into the storm.

POST-ACTION: Sykes tries to open the emergency door, but it’s too late. As the windows blow out, the oxygen fans the flames and draws the fire over the back of the bus creating an inferno that engulfs the chained inmates. Sykes is burned and momentarily defeated — almost resigned, but then he rises, and turns back toward the prison.

MEANING: Sykes knows that the accident is, at least in part, his fault. But it also reinforces his belief that Donovan (and people like him) are responsible for everything bad that has happened to Sykes. And he’s going to make sure that Donovan pays.

Make the Action Unique:

Environment taken to an extreme: A catastrophic storm, in the middle of nowhere

Villain going opposite: Just when it seems that the villain was defeated, he rises again, and turns back to confront our hero.

Shocking: An explosion just as it seemed that the bus was going to start again and that they would all survive.

Mission: The mission shifts from getting these inmates to the next prison to Sykes returning to the prison to go after Donovan. Sykes has nothing left.

9 Action Emotions:

Anxiety: The weather is closing in. Donovan warned Sykes it was too late to leave, and the other inmates heard the warning. Visibility is nearly gone only a half a mile from the prison walls.

Fear: Fear grows when the bus stalls.

Relief: When the bus appears to start up again

Danger/Shock: As the first explosion rips through the front of the bus

Adrenaline: As the inmates scream to get off the bus, and Sykes as he tries to open the welded emergency door.

Add in More Twists

Safety — Danger: Inmates are being “rescued” from the storm by being transferred to another prison, only to be stuck in the snow.

It Just Got Better — It Just Got Worse: The bus engine’s seems to start, but then the explosion rips through the bus.

Unexpected Support — New Threat: Sykes does try to get the door open and release the inmates, but the fire is ferocious and the door appears to be welded shut.

[Bent Hanlen]

Bent’s great action set piece !!

What I learned doing this assignment is this……. there is emotion and concern from the audience because I’ve added the interests to make it so. My scene has meaning to it moreso.

PRE ACTION – Hazela the young female elf tells her parents that she deserves to go on the presents deliveries and she wants to begin this year. Mom and Dad refuse and tell her she’s not at the right age and the outside world is dangerous.

ACTION – She storms off to her room. Inside her attention is caught by all of her outside gear.

Mom has dinner ready and tells brother Indigo to get his sister. He goes to her room. The window is open and foot prints show an escape has happened. Panicking he runs down the stairs to alert his parents. Father doesn’t believe it. Mom runs up the stairs and searches the room. She sees the prints outside and screams. Indigo says he will find her. Mom and Dad put on their cold weather coats. Indigo runs out first.

POST ACTION

The prints lead to the tarmac far away. Indigo has ran through the neighborhood where elves live. He sees all the sleighs lined up. Hundreds of them. Some are coming back and landing after making drops. Santa’s sleigh lands too. Indigo runs around asking if anyone has seen his sister. Towards the front of the sleighs, Hazela climbs into a sleigh that’s filled with bags of strapped down presents. Her sleigh moves forward for take off. She looks back and sees Indigo searching for her. She doesn’t care.

Environment: The North Pole

Rules: Set in reality.

Villain: The General – he doesn’t care that a child stowed away.

Mission – Hazela wants to see the world.

:Struggle – she is too young. She is not encouraged to visit the outside world by her mom, dad, and brother.

:Unique Skillset – she is full of adventure.

:Meaning: Hazela will live her life the way she wants to no matter what people say

Allies – other pilots on the sleigh

:Weapon: none

Young Hazela argues with her parents about wanting the opportunity to travel with the sleighs to the outside world. She begins her rebellion on this Christmas Eve by demanding to go on one sleigh trip to a country and then back. Mother and Father stand their ground. She stomps off to her room. Her brother Indigo doesn’t want to see the outside world either because he fears the unknown.

Hazela goes to her room. There she finds her outdoor gear right away. She looks outside. It is dark and freezing.

The mother and father have a talk. Mom tries to reason with dad saying she doesn’t like the idea of her daughter ever leaving the North Pole. Even if it is mandatory delivery service all elves must complete …..but maybe with other elves with her she could do it.

Dinner is served and Dad asks Indigo to retrieve his sister. Outside of her room, there is a draft. The door is cold. He notices it when he knocks. He enters the room. The window is open and she has climbed out.

ANXIETY

Indigo is dressed in not enough and he’s running , following the footprints. They lead far away to the launching bay.

The father and mother are panicking. He dresses and we see he is missing an arm. He then moves as fast as his portly body will take him.

Indigo sees all the sleighs lined up. There are hundreds of them. All filled with presents and in lanes designating the country they are heading to.

SHOCK

Indigo sees the General. He runs up to the grizzled man and says he can’t find his sister and he’s lost her. The General doesn’t care. He replies we all lose someone in our life. Then walks on. Indigo can’t believe he’s heard this. He runs to the sleighs and yells for Hazela.

ADRENALINE

He looks towards the front where the sleighs are departing. There is Hazela inside of a sleigh pulling down goggle and turning to face the front. Indigo doesn’t see her as his back is turned. Her sleigh takes off and she cheers. As Indigo is looking inside a sleigh he hears her and loses his balance. He falls into the back of the sleigh and now he is stuck. He’s leaving.

FEAR

As his sleigh rises into the air, he tries to hold onto the rails as tightly as possible but it is too cold.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by  Bent Hanlen.

[Andre]

1. Subject Line: Andre’s Great Action Set Piece!

2.“What I learned doing this assignment is the following…

3. Build in the meaning…

a. Set-Up

If we continue without change and without growth in our basic thinking and behavior, we will, despite spectacular technological feats, eventually end the evolutionary experiment known as man.

b. Pre-Action

“In February 1971, I had the privilege of walking on the moon as a member of the Apollo 14 lunar expedition”.

c. Action

i. Location: 240,000 miles up, in space, People of Earth were (and still are unfortunately) fighting wars; committing murder and other crimes; lying, cheating, and struggling for power and status; abusing the environment by polluting the water and air, wasting natural resources, and ravaging the land, acting out of lust and greed; and hurting others through intolerance, bigotry, prejudice, and all the things that add up to man’s inhumanity to man.

ii. Experiments:

1. During the voyage I made a test in extrasensory perception (ESP), attempting to send information telepathically to four receivers on earth”.

2. The Window Meteoroid Experiment – studied impacts on the windows of the Apollo-14 Command Module to obtain information about the size distribution of very small micrometeorites.

3. The Composite Casting Experiment – studied the solidification of immiscible compositions in microgravity.

4. The Electrophoresis Demonstration – studied the separation of organic molecules in an electric field.

5. The Heat Flow and Convection Demonstration – studied convective flow and heat transport driven by surface tension.

6. The Liquid Transfer Demonstration – studied how different types of tank design influenced the pumping of liquids between tanks in microgravity.

7. The Light Flashes Experiment -studied light flashes seen by the crew that are related to charged particles in space.

iii. What is Consciousness?

“But what has all this to do with the problem of changing consciousness? For me, our planet from space was an event with some of the qualities traditionally ascribed to religious experience. It triggered a deep insight into the nature of existence-the sort of insight that radically changes the inner person.

-Noetics recognizes all this. Noetics is the research frontier where the convergence of objectivity and subjectivity, of reason and intuition, is occurring most rapidly.

-“In the study of consciousness, the techniques and technology of science are being combined with the higher insights of mind from both East and West to provide a new methodology for scholarly inquiry.

-Meditation research. Meditation produces qualitative and beneficial shifts in psychophysiological condition.

-Two physiological correlates found for psychological stages of meditation, along with changes in breathing, heartbeat rate, blood pressure, muscle tension, and various other metabolic correlates.

a. Alpha brain wave.

b. Theta brain wave.

-Result in mediator include release of stress and tension, increased intellectual capacity, greater self-control and self-direction, a feeling of deep rest and relaxation, improved social relations, a decrease in use of prescribed and nonprescribed drugs, and other significant changes.

d. Post-Action

i. High Quality Concept: Because of the experiences on THIS mission, he gained a new perspective of life on our planet—a perspective that eventually led him to engage in his present efforts to explore the potential of the “inner space” of the human consciousness, and to thereby find better ways to increase mankind’s sense of personal fulfillment and global unity.

ii. My thinking-indeed, my consciousness-was altered profoundly. I came to feel a moral responsibility to pass on the transformative experience of seeing earth from the larger perspective.

iii. But further, the rational man in me had to recognize the validity of the non-rational cognitive process.

iv. The act of leaving the planet is one of the pivotal moments in human history because it represents a radical change in the course of progress and offers a new perspective of civilization.

4. Make the Action Unique

a. Step 1: List my 9 places for uniqueness.

i. Environment: Space.

ii. Rules: Space is unforgiving.

iii. Villain: Space itself, and depleting resources (oxygen, fuel, limitations in technology.

iv. Mission: To safely land on the Moon, conduct experiments, and return to earth safely.

v. Struggle: Space is unforgiving.

vi. Unique Skillset: Engineer and experimental aviator.

vii. Meaning:

1. The act of leaving the planet is one of the pivotal moments in human history because it represents a radical change in the course of progress and offers a new perspective of civilization.

2. If we continue without change and without growth in our basic thinking and behavior, we will, despite spectacular technological feats, eventually end the evolutionary experiment known as man.

viii. Allies:

1. Stu Roosa

2. Allan Shephard

3. Ground Control

4. The inanimate spaceship.

ix. Weapon:

1. Human Consciousness itself.

2. Technology.

b. Step 2: Use Strategies for uniqueness to elevate them.

i. What if…?

Add…tba.

ii. Take to an extreme.

1. What was the fuel remaining when landed on surface of Moon, was it enough to return to Orbiter and back to earth?

2. What was Heat Shield Technology for Apollo 14 (and other missions)?

iii. Specific to character or environment.

Add…tba.

iv. Shocking or Surprising…

1. Golf on the moon.

2. Experimenting with ESP.

v. Go opposite.

1. Going opposite, Apollo 14 never went to the moon. You cannot go back to someplace you’ve never been to before.

vi. What haven’t we seen?

Vehicle re-entry, heat shield technology?<div>

-Andre

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