Lesson 15

[Renee Miller]

Renee’s Horror Outline Version 1

What I learned doing this assignment is how to pull all the information we’ve learned in this class into a single outline that I can then use to write the script.

EXT. BEGICH TOWERS – NIGHT
Three teenagers—Edmund, Lucas, and Mark—sneak out of the residential tower, daring each other to go to the abandoned lighthouse.

Apprehension: They whisper nervously, debating if they should continue.
Suspense: Lucas hesitates, looking back at the lit windows of the tower.
Fear: The wind howls unnaturally, almost like a whisper.

2. INT. LIGHTHOUSE – NIGHT
The teens find an old ritual circle and a leather-bound journal inside the lighthouse. When Edmund steps inside the circle, a whisper thanks them—and Mark vanishes. Lucas flees, but the door slams shut, trapping Edmund inside.

Horror Situation:
Edmund is trapped inside the lighthouse as a malevolent force awakens.

Apprehension: The lantern flickers. The salt circle looks disturbed.
Shock: A whisper thanks them. Mark disappears.
Panic: Lucas bolts for the door—it slams shut behind him.
Fear: Shadows pulse toward Edmund, his breath frosting over.
Dread: A figure emerges from the dark, its face warping.
Horror: Edmund stumbles up the stairs, the shadows chasing him.
Release: At the top, the rotating beacon pushes the shadows back.
Scares & Releases:
Scare: A book slams shut by itself.
Release: The beacon saves Edmund—for now.
Monster Reveal: The shifting, amorphous entity watches him from the dark.

3. INT. BEGICH TOWERS – MANAGEMENT OFFICE – DAY
Stacy, the building manager, scolds her son, Jack, for breaking into locked rooms.

Surprise: The lights flicker when Jack slams his hands on the desk.
Apprehension: Shadows in the corners seem to shift unnaturally.

4. INT. BEGICH TOWERS – EDMUND’S ROOM – DAY
Edmund, now an old recluse, mutters about the darkness returning.

Surprise: A whisper snakes through the room.
Apprehension: The lights flicker sharply.

5. INT. BEGICH TOWERS – COMMUNITY KITCHEN – DAY
Eliza and Patty pack storm supplies while discussing Tracy’s declining mental state.

Surprise: The lights dim suddenly.
Apprehension: The radio crackles with static.

6. INT. BEGICH TOWERS – BASEMENT – DAY
Anthony works on a fuse box. The lights flicker violently as an unseen force stirs.

7. INT. BEGICH TOWERS – MAIL ROOM – DAY
Chuck finds an undeliverable letter with a faded postmark that wasn’t there before.

Surprise: The letter wasn’t there a second ago.
Apprehension: The room’s shadows shift behind him.

8. INT. BEGICH TOWERS – COMMUNITY STORAGE ROOM – DAY
Rebecca, alone, checks storm supplies. A whisper from the dark hallway makes her stop.

Surprise: A sudden thud.
Apprehension: The hallway is too silent.

9. INT. BEGICH TOWERS – ARCHIVES ROOM – DAY
Edmund warns Stacy it’s too late. She brushes him off.

Apprehension: He’s visibly shaken.

10. EXT. TUNNEL ENTRANCE – DAY
Stacy closes the tunnel gate, sealing the town from the outside world.

Apprehension: The wind howls, almost protesting.
Surprise: A streetlamp flickers out.

11. INT. BEGICH TOWERS – TRACY’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Tracy hears whispers from her bathroom.

Horror Situation:
Tracy’s mental state unravels as something supernatural watches her.

Surprise: A single water droplet hits the floor.
Apprehension: A whisper calls her name.
Scares & Releases:
Scare: The water in the tub starts overflowing—turning black.
Release: She blinks—the tub is empty again.

12. INT. BEGICH TOWERS – TRACY’S LIVING ROOM – NIGHT (INCITING INCIDENT)
Stacy finds Tracy clutching her head. Before she can help, Tracy bolts toward the balcony and falls to her death.

Horror Situation:
A ghostly force compels Tracy to suicide.

Surprise: Tracy suddenly sprints to the balcony.
Shock: Stacy grabs her, but Tracy falls over the edge.
Scares & Releases:
Scare: The whispers intensify as Tracy moves.
Release: Silence. She’s gone.

13. INT. BEGICH TOWERS – COMMUNITY ROOM – NIGHT
Stacy informs the residents of Tracy’s suicide.

Apprehension: Edmund mutters, “It’s starting again.”

14. INT. STAIRWELL – NIGHT
Chuck is dragged into the abyss by shadow tendrils.

Horror Situation:
The shadows claim their first victim inside the building.

Surprise: The lights flicker—then die.
Shock: A shadow tendril lashes out, wrapping around Chuck.
Horror: He’s yanked into the dark, screaming.
Scares & Releases:
Scare: The lights flicker—then go out entirely.
Release: Chuck turns on a flashlight—brief relief.
Scare: The tendril yanks him down the stairs.

15. INT. COMMUNITY COMMON ROOM – DAY
Stacy realizes Chuck is missing.

Apprehension: Residents complain about strange noises.
Surprise: Chuck isn’t answering his radio.

16. INT. CHUCK’S APARTMENT – DAY
The bathroom mirror is fogged over—but the heater is off.

17. INT. STAIRWELL – DAY
The group finds Chuck’s flashlight—and his shadow still cast on the wall.

Horror Situation:
Chuck’s presence lingers—even though he’s gone.

Surprise: Chuck’s shadow is still on the wall.
Shock: The building loses power.
Horror: The whispers grow deafening.

18. INT. CHUCK’S APARTMENT – DAY
The group enters Chuck’s apartment, expecting to find him asleep or sulking. Instead, everything is too still, too untouched.
The apartment feels abandoned, though he was just here. Something unnatural lingers.

Apprehension: The air is thick, stagnant, as if no one has been here for days.
Surprise: Rebecca checks the bathroom mirror—it’s fogged over, despite the cold.
Dread: The temperature is freezing, yet condensation drips down the glass.
Horror: A faint noise from the hallway—but no one is there.

19. INT. STAIRWELL – DAY
The group descends into the stairwell, searching for Chuck. They find his flashlight lying on the landing—but no sign of him.
Chuck is gone, but his shadow remains—twisted, frozen mid-motion.

Apprehension: Their footsteps echo strangely, almost delayed, like something is following them.
Surprise: Anthony spots Chuck’s flashlight on the ground.
Shock: Chuck’s shadow is still on the wall—but it’s warped, mid-motion.
Dread: Suddenly, the power goes out—the entire building plunges into darkness.
Panic: Red emergency exit lights flicker on. Whispers layer and grow suffocatingly loud.
Horror: The shadows shift, move, close in—then chaos erupts as screams echo in the dark.

ACT 2 – THE POINT OF NO RETURN

20. INT. COMMON AREA – NIGHT
The survivors huddle together, trying to stay calm. The shadows shift, and Rebecca is attacked.
Horror Situation:
Something inside the dark finally reaches for them.

Fear: The storm howls outside. Silence inside. Everyone is hyper-aware of every flicker and whisper.
Suspense: Rebecca yanks her feet up as something brushes past her ankle.
Shock: A tendril shoots out, wrapping around her leg.
Dread: Anthony and Patty grab her, pulling her back just in time.
Horror: Edmund stands frozen, hearing his name whispered from the dark. Without a word, he runs off alone.

21. INT. LIBRARY – NIGHT
Edmund rifles through books, trying to understand what is happening. The whispers surround him.

Horror Situation:
The darkness doesn’t just kill—it tricks. It lures.

Fear: The whispers aren’t just in his head anymore—they echo from the bookshelves.
Suspense: His flashlight sputters—he smacks it, forcing it to glow brighter.
Dread: He turns a page and gasps—the ritual was never completed properly.
Horror: The room darkens—shadows coil like living things.
Shock: The door SLAMS open—Stacy and the others arrive.
Panic: A tendril lashes out, dragging Edmund into the dark—his mouth opens in a silent scream.

22. INT. COMMON AREA – NIGHT
Stacy tells the group that she needs to go after Edmund. Some insist they stick together, others want to stay put. A shadow flickers in the corner of the room. They decide to follow Stacy.

Horror Situation:
The fear of isolation is growing, but they don’t yet realize they’re already being hunted.

Fear: Some argue to stay put, afraid of the unknown lurking in the halls.
Suspense: A single flicker of movement in the corner of the room makes them all freeze.
Dread: They ultimately decide to follow Stacy—but the shadows seem to shift in response, as if aware of their choice.

23. INT. LIBRARY – NIGHT
Edmund frantically flips through books, realizing the ritual was incomplete. As Stacy and the others rush in, shadows coil around him and consume him whole.

Horror Situation:
Edmund figures out too late that the darkness was never meant to be contained. It takes him in response.

Fear: Edmund freezes. A horrifying realization dawns—they were wrong.
Suspense: The door slams open—Stacy and the group burst in.
Dread: Tendrils lash out, snaring Edmund. He gasps, struggling.
Horror: The shadows engulf him completely. His mouth opens in a silent scream, but there is no sound.
Shock: His body is gone. The book slams shut on its own.

24. INT. ARCHIVES – NIGHT
Stacy uncovers the truth—each death feeds the shadows, making them stronger.

Fear: The room is silent—the air heavy and suffocating.
Suspense: A loose document falls—it’s the original ritual diagram.
Dread: The shadows were never contained—the ritual was a failure.

25. INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT
The group flees the archives, but Jack stops suddenly, his eyes glazed over.

Horror Situation:
Jack is trapped in a hallucination, manipulated by the shadows.

Fear: The hallway stretches unnaturally.
Suspense: A pale woman cradles her stomach, staring at Jack.
Dread: A ghostly baby cries, echoing inside his head.
Horror: The hallway transforms into a hospital corridor—an empty crib rocking in the center.
Panic: Stacy tries to grab him, but the fire doors slam shut.
Shock: Jack steps into the darkness—he vanishes completely.

26. INT. HALLWAY – HALLUCINATION
Jack stops in the hallway, his breath hitching. Reality distorts around him—the shadows flicker, stretching into something wrong.

Horror Situation:
The shadows are not just killing. They are warping perception, dragging their victims into personal hells.

Dread: The hallway twists, elongates, flickering between reality and a nightmare.
Suspense: A figure materializes ahead—a grief-stricken young woman cradling her stomach.
Fear: A ghostly baby’s cry echoes, growing louder.
Dread: The hallway shifts into a sterile hospital corridor—a lone empty crib rocks slowly in the center.
Horror: The crying intensifies, drilling into his mind. The woman whispers something only he can hear.

27. INT. HALLWAY – HALLUCINATION
Jack stops in the hallway, his breath hitching. Reality distorts around him—the shadows flicker, stretching into something wrong.

Horror Situation:
The shadows are not just killing. They are warping perception, dragging their victims into personal hells.

Dread: The hallway twists, elongates, flickering between reality and a nightmare.
Suspense: A figure materializes ahead—a grief-stricken young woman cradling her stomach.
Fear: A ghostly baby’s cry echoes, growing louder.
Dread: The hallway shifts into a sterile hospital corridor—a lone empty crib rocks slowly in the center.
Horror: The crying intensifies, drilling into his mind. The woman whispers something only he can hear.

28. INT. HALLWAY – HALLUCINATION
Jack sees a woman ahead of him, grief-stricken, cradling her stomach. The baby’s cry grows deafening.

Horror Situation:
Jack is tricked into stepping forward—and the shadows take him.

Dread: The woman steps closer, her hollow eyes locked onto him.
Suspense: The crib rocks harder. The baby’s cry becomes deafening.
Fear: Jack trembles, whispering "I’m sorry" as the woman parts her lips—but only he can hear her words.
Horror: The hospital hallway melts away—the shadows surge forward.
Dread: Jack takes one step forward—then he’s gone.

29. INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT (Horror Scene – Stacy’s Anguish)
Stacy slams her hands against the sealed fire doors, realizing Jack is gone.

Horror Situation:
She can’t even see what took him. She can only feel the loss.

Shock: Stacy slams her hands against the door, breath ragged.
Anguish: Red emergency lights flicker, illuminating nothing on the other side.
Panic: “Open it! We have to open it!” She fights Anthony and Eliza, trying to get back to Jack.
Horror: The whispers stop. The shadows don’t move. Silence settles in.
Dread: Anthony grips Stacy’s arm. Her breath catches.
Anguish: Jack is gone.

ACT 3 – FULL OUT HORROR

30. INT. BASEMENT – NIGHT
The group reaches the basement, but the corridors warp, stretch too long.
Horror Situation:
The basement is a trap. Anthony is next.

Fear: The walls seem to breathe, shifting unnaturally.
Suspense: A tendril lashes out, wrapping around Anthony’s ankle.
Dread: He fights back, but more tendrils emerge.
Panic: Stacy tries to grab him, but Eliza pulls her back.
Horror: Anthony’s eyes widen as he’s yanked into the abyss.
31. INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT
The survivors move cautiously, weapons in hand. The shadows shift just outside the light.

Horror Situation:
The whispers take the voices of lost loved ones, tempting them into the dark.

Anguish: Patty freezes—she hears a voice she hasn’t heard in years.
Fear: The building is too quiet—shadows breathe outside the flashlight beams.
Dread: The whispers return, soft at first, then louder—familiar voices.
Hysteria: Stacy grabs Patty’s wrist, whispering, “Don’t listen” before dragging her forward.

32. INT. BASEMENT – NIGHT
The generator room is ahead, but the corridors warp, doors vanish and reappear. The shadows lunge.

Horror Situation:
The basement is alive—and Anthony is its next victim.

Anguish: Rebecca screams as Anthony swings wildly at the tendrils.
Panic: More wrap around him, pulling him backward.
Horror: Anthony’s eyes lock with Stacy’s—he mouths something unheard before he’s ripped into the abyss.
Hysteria: The whispers rise into unbearable screams.

33 INT. BASEMENT – NIGHT
Rebecca stumbles forward, trying to process Anthony’s fate. She turns—his shadow is still there, stretched unnaturally.

Horror Situation:
She freezes, and the darkness devours her whole.

Dread: A flicker of hope—maybe Anthony is still there?
Horror: But no. His form is grotesque and unnatural.
Panic: The shadows slither toward her, sensing weakness.
Anguish: Stacy yells for her to move, but Rebecca collapses, frozen.
Horror: The darkness devours her completely.

34. INT. LOUNGE AREA – NIGHT (Horror Scene – Patty’s Sacrifice)
Patty realizes her family is connected to the shadows.
Horror Situation:
She offers herself to the darkness, but it only makes them stronger.

Dread: She understands now—this was always going to happen.
Panic: Stacy shakes her head—“No.”
Anguish: Patty smiles sadly—“I have to.”
Horror: She steps forward—the shadows devour her instantly.

ACT 4 – FINAL ATTEMPT AT SURVIVAL

35. INT. GENERATOR ROOM – NIGHT (Horror Scene – Eliza’s Death)
Stacy and Eliza restart the generator, but it’s a trap.

Horror Situation:
The shadows were waiting for the light to lure them in.

Dread: The shadows vanish—too easy.
Panic: Eliza steps forward cautiously.
Horror: A black tendril erupts, strangling her.
Shock: Stacy lunges, but Eliza is yanked into the abyss.

36. INT. BASEMENT HALLWAY – NIGHT
Stacy runs alone, the whispers mocking her—Jack, Tracy, Edmund.

Panic: She runs, gasping, flashlight bouncing.
Dread: The whispers return, layering.
Hysteria: She clutches the journal, sobbing. The whispers turn to screams.

37. INT. STAIRWELL – NIGHT
Stacy is the last one standing. She clutches the journal, knowing the ritual was never meant to end the creatures, only contain them. Her flashlight flickers out. The shadows close in. She begins reciting the passage, her voice trembling as tendrils wrap around her arms and legs.

Horror Situation:
There is no true victory. Only survival—if she can finish the ritual before the darkness consumes her.

Dread: Stacy realizes—this was never about stopping them. The ritual was only a delay, a warning ignored.
Panic: Her flashlight flickers. The shadows surge forward, filling the stairwell with writhing black tendrils.
Hysteria: The whispers return, no longer soft and seductive—they are deafening, enraged, familiar voices screaming her name.
Anguish: Stacy forces herself to keep reading, her hands shaking, the journal slipping from her grasp as inky tendrils snake up her arms.
Horror: She finishes the passage. The darkness explodes outward, engulfing her in a suffocating void. Her scream is swallowed whole.

38. INT. RESIDENTIAL BUILDING – DAY
The storm has cleared. Searchers find grotesque, twisted bodies.

Horror Situation:
The shadows are gone—but something remains in Stacy.

Horror: Searchers find symbols burned into the walls.
Dread: They find Stacy curled in a corner.
Shock: Her eyes flutter open—a shadow moves across her iris.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Finishing Horror Outlines
“What did I learn doing this assignment?”
By having the emotions listed within the outline, it give me a clear outline for the entire script so I do not miss any important point.
Outline Ver #1
Title: Project Revenant Horror/Action
• Concept: A team of military contractors breaks into a covert bio-weapons lab, only to find themselves hunted by genetically engineered creatures that can adapt to their tactics and weapons and shape shift.

Act 1
Opening Scene

INT: RESEARCH LABORATORY – HOLDING TANK – DAY

A Scientist showing his teen son the work he is doing in the lab, inadvertently releases a monstrous specimen from its holding tank.
Anxiety: Lights go out. Father rushes to escape.
Shock: The specimen escapes from its tank.
Horror: His father is killed.
Fear: A scientist gets cut in two.
Hysteria: Tyler stands frozen in place as the creature reaches for him.

EXT: OPEN HELICOPTER – NIGHT

Two choppers fly low over a forest. They break over a lake, heading towards a well-lit facility at the far end of the lake.

FLASHBACK
INT: BRIEFING ROOM – MILITARY BASE

The team is briefed on both the mission and creatures.
Denial: Soldiers aren’t overly worried.

EXT: OPEN HELICOPTER – NIGHT

The choppers land, and the soldiers break apart. As the two birds lift off, the group makes for the entrance.

INT: SECURED ENTRANCE – NIGHT

The squad enters the building
Anxiety: Bodies are found everywhere.
Surprise: Webster fires his gun into the speakers, startling the group.

INT: ADMINSTRATION DEPARTMENT – NIGHT
Apprehension: They find a teenager, terrified and wide-eyed. He cannot speak.

INT: LAB – NIGHT
Surprise: The creature attacks and the soldiers retaliate.
Fear: The leader is taken.
Shock: Bullets cause an explosion.
Dread: trapped inside with the monster—no escape.
Surprise: Vincent, the corporate scientist and guide, goes missing during the attack.

INT: ROOM OFF MAIN HALLWAY – NIGHT

Anguish: Searching for leader
Horror: Find the man has been skinned alive.
Emotional: Webster loses it.

Act 2
INT: BOARD ROOM – NIGHT
The group take refuge in a boardroom.
Fear: Barrett orders Webster to search storage room for monster.
Anguish: Webster is terrified what he’ll find.
Surprise/Scare: Something moves and Webster opens fires on it.
Release: it’s only a mop.
Anxiety: Cortez hears a noise from the same storage room.
Shock: The monster has appeared.
Release: It’s gone as fast as it arrived.

INT: LAB 2 – NIGHT
The group contacts HQ and find that there may be an exit at the rear of the building.
Surprise: The monster attacks
Anger: The group fires back looking for payback.

INT. WASHROOM – NIGHT
The creature is injured but heals himself. Skin evolves into something like Kevlar.

INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT

Group catches sight of creature and attack it.
Surprise: Bullets have little effect.
Dread: The creature is getting stronger.

INT. LAB 1 – NIGHT
The group takes a break in a lab,
Surprise: The creature climbs through the ductwork and breaks into the lab.
Desperation: Archer throws a beaker at the creature. Contents turns out to be acid and burns the creature.
Release: the creature flees.

INT. CORRIDOR _ NIGHT
Horror situation: Webster becomes unhinged.
Surprise: Webster, the General’s son, runs.
Dread: Archer feels the young soldier will hurt himself

INT. STORAGE ROOM – NIGHT

Anxiety: Archer chases after Webster
Fear: Archer finds Webster locked himself in storage room.
Dread: Webster places his pistol under his chin to kill himself.
Panic: Archer sees the creature hanging above Webster.
Hysteria: Archer watches as the creature falls and consumes Webster.
Anguish: Archer hears the gun going off inside of the monster. Webster is still alive within the creature.
Panic: Archer flees

INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT

Hysteria: Archer races for the Lab in case the creature is after him.

Act 3
INT: LAB 2 – Night

Scare: The creature attacks from the shadows.
Desperation: Mia attacks the creature with Flachette ammunition, tearing chunks of flesh from the creature.
Release: The monster flees.

INT: CORRIDOR – NIGHT

The creature evolves once more, healing itself. Some of the flesh is not reproduced. Jagged points press outward from the monster’s skin.

INT: LAB 2 – Night

Scare: The door to the lab bursts open.
Fear: group begins to shoot at the creature.
Anger: Mia opens up with the flecette ammunition once again.
Terror: The creature fires bone spears from its chest.
Horror: Mia is impaled by bone shards.
Hysteria: Seeing her lover go down, Zuri attacks the chases after the monster.
Shock: Using a grenade, both she and the creature are caught in the explosion
Dread: Acher and Barrett attack and kill the dying monster.
Release: The thing is dying.
Hysteria: Something else advances. The men pull back.

.

INT: CORRIDOR – NIGHT

Surprise: Vincent appears.
Dread: The dying creature leaks black blood into a pool. It begins to clone itself.
Anxiety: Vincent explains that the creatures have been created to live through any kind of attack and will never stop unless order to by their handler.
Horror: The creature kills Vincent.
Hysteria: Archer and Barrett attack the creature with every weapon the have.
Horror: Barrett is impaled by the creatures bone shards, but empties his AA-12 (Auto Assault – 12) with high explosive armor-piercing (HEAP) and high explosive fragmenting antipersonnel (HEFA) and the monster retaliates with bone spears.
Release: Both Barrett and the Monster are dead.

INT: CARGO BAY – NIGHT
Tyler and Archer make their way to the cargo garage.
Release: The lockdown should be over soon.
Anxiety: Archer hears a noise behind him
Horror: Tyler’s face widening to reveal a massive mouth with rows and rows of teeth.
Panic: It lunges and kills Archer.
Creepy: Tyler begins to lick Archer’s blood as his body assumes Tyler’s form.

INT: BOARDROOM – SAME TIME

We cut to a scene to an observation room where a scientist and a general witness the entire fight.
Shock: The General likes what he has seen and orders the experiment to proceed to the next phase.
Horror: The Chinese will never know what hit them.

• This reply was modified 2 months, 2 weeks ago by  David Wickenden.

[Nick Walsh]

LESSON #15

Nick’s Horror Outline Version 1

What I learnt: It was fascinating to learn about Releases. I can see their importance in providing audience relief, no matter how small, to a scene with ongoing, and, sometimes, nauseating horror.

TITLE: Eyeballs

LOGLINE: Six young friends, on a week-end mountain bike adventure in the Sierras, get lost in an uncharted valley where there is no escape from a tribe of separately evolved humanoids who remove eyeballs to domesticate them.

1. OPENING CLOSE-UP
A hairy claw gouges an eyeball from a screaming head.

HORROR SITUATION: A hairy claw plucks an eyeball from a screaming head.
TERROR: An eyeball is crudely extracted from a conscious head.
FEAR: Primal screaming; losing sight forever.
CREEPY: The unseen extractor is nonchalantly humming a tune.
ANGUISH: We feel his pain and watch helplessly.
RELEASE: The actual end of the gory scene.
MONSTER REVEAL: Only a claw-like hairy hand is revealed.

2. EXT. DESERTED OFF-ROAD AREA – DAY
JOE, GENE, FRANK, LEE, MANNY, and SAMMY unload their mountain bikes and prepare for a weekend bike adventure in the Sierra range.

3. SERIES OF SHOTS
Joe and Gene make a map of their trail discoveries in this uncharted region while the others trail-blaze, perform daring jump maneuvers with their bikes.

4. EXT. CAMPSITE – NIGHT
Manny and Sammy, the two youngest, play games on their Iphones, while the others play dice and review the exciting day they had and the prospects for tomorrow.

5. EXT. RURAL BAR – DAY
A dozen Harleys are parked in front. The boys park their bikes against building after a hot morning of riding and go in.

6. INT. RURAL BAR – DAY
The local BIKER BROS gang sullenly observe the boys as they play dice on the pool table and want in.

LATER
The boys amass a wad of the biker gangs’ money and can’t seem to lose. The biker gang accuses them of cheating. A DRUNK at the bar warns the boys of the danger they are in and offers to give them a ride outta there.

HORROR SITUATION: The boys are threatened by a biker gang.
APPREHENSION: The boys just can’t stop winning and can see they are pissing off the gang.
FEAR: They will get beaten up and maimed.
PANIC: The biker gang accuses them of cheating.
RELEASE: The drunk at the bar offers them an escape.
MONSTER REVEAL: One of the bikers wears an eyepatch and looks very sinister. Is he the monster?

7. EXT. BAR – DAY – ON PARKED VAN
The loaded camper peels off.

8. INT. VAN – SAME
Joe’s missing.

9. EXT./INT. VAN – CONTINUOUS
A fist knocks Joe sprawling through the front door; he scrambles up and jumps into the waiting camper. The drunk tosses cherry bombs at the bikers; peels away.

10. INT. CAMPER – DAY
The drunk boasts that he once hanged the eye-patched Bros’ dog. He’s sliding all over the road.

HORROR SITUATION: The boys are in the camper with a mad man.
FEAR: Are they going to get killed in a wreck?
REGRET: Who is this stranger? Should they worry?
CREEPY MOMENT: The drunk brags of hanging an innocent dog.
RELEASE: The drunk slows down to search a place to let them out.
MONSTER REVEAL: He has an eyeball hanging from his mirror. Could he be the monster?

11. EXT. WINDY COUNTRY ROAD – DAY
The boys get out of the camper with their bikes and quickly hide in the forest to watch the Bros bikers rumble by looking for them.

12. EXT. CAMPSITE – EVENING
Joe has lost the map he was making and now they have a ten mile gap besides, because of the camper ride.

13. EXT. ROCKY FOREST TERRAIN – DAY
The boys are back at it: trail blazing, trick jumping, mapping.

14. EXT. OLD LOGGING ROAD – DAY
The boys discover the drunk’s camper abandoned. They find the drunk camper hanging upside down from a tree branch skinned from head to toe and eyeless.

HORROR SITUATION: The skinned, eyeless drunk hanging from a tree branch.
SHOCK: The discovery of the above.
FEAR: Could they be next?
SUSPENSE: Is whoever did this close by?
UNFOUNDED SUSPICION: It has to be the motorcycle gang that did this. Who else could it be? Must avoid them.
HORROR: The sight of a skinned, eyeless man who was alive just hours before.
PANIC: They desperately want to get away from there.
RELEASE: They agree to go no further, but to head back ASAP.
MONSTER REVEAL: The monster’s work on gory display, and it’s not the drunk’s. Is it the motorcycle gang seeking revenge?

15. EXT. OLD LOGGING ROAD – LATER – SAME DAY
The boys follow the logging road on their bikes. Suddenly, they hear the beat of Harleys approaching. They bike into woods and make the decision to find their way through the woods to avoid the motorcycle gang.

HORROR SITUATION: They hear Harleys and must escape into the forest where the gang can’t follow.
FEAR: They hear the sound of Harleys.
SUSPENSE: The Harleys get closer.
RELEASE: They escape through the forest.
MONSTER REVEAL: He is revealed as the sound of Harleys.

16. EXT. RIVER CROSSING – DAY
One at a time, they ride over a huge, fallen Redwood tree log laying across a raging river. Manny shows off, slips, falls in, and is carried away in the swift current.

17. RIVERBANK – LATER – SAME DAY
Sammy finds Manny’s bike helmet in the riverbank rocks. They hear horrific screaming downriver. Frank is beside himself with worry over Manny, his little brother.

HORROR SITUATION: Sammy discovers Manny’s bike helmet, then they hear screaming downriver.
APPREHENSION: Could that screaming be Manny?
FEAR: Manny is being tortured.
SUSPENSE: They must get to him before it’s too late.
DREAD: What they will find?
MONSTER REVEAL: Is the monster torturing Manny?

18. EXT. RIVERBANK – SAME DAY
From far away Sammy sees two humanoid creatures on two legs on a body hanging from a tree. They flee. It’s Manny hanging upside down from a tree half skinned and eyes gouged out. He’s barely alive. Frank must do the unthinkable: Mercy-kill his own brother with his gun.

HORROR SITUATION: Manny is found half skinned and eyeless, but conscious.
HORROR: Manny’s torso skin is pulled over his face, like the skinning was interrupted.
FEAR: Whoever Sammy saw must be nearby
ANGUISH: To put Manny out of his misery.
DREADED SUSPENSE: Will Frank shoot his beloved brother?
RELEASE: Frank shoots his brother in the head. It’s over.
MONSTER REVEAL: Is this the odious work of the two human-like creatures Sammy saw from a distance? Were they part of the motorcycle gang?

19. EXT. FOREST TRAIL – DAY
The boys are depressed and argumentative as they try to figure a way out. They follow a well-used path. Frank has gone silent; carries Manny’s dead body on his back, refuses to leave him.

20. EXT. EDGE OF CLEARING – DAY
The boys stand astride their bikes at the edge of the woods observing a stone age hut before them. A small woman and a child, carrying hand baskets, exit the front door and head for a livestock building behind the hut.

21. EXT. MONSTER’S HUT – DAY
Joe, Gene, Lee, and Sammy approach cautiously. Joe looks in through the front door.

22. INT. MONSTER’S HUT – SAME
Mobiles of eyeballs hang from the horizontal ceiling beams. Two small humanoids, with their backs to us: One working with eyeballs at a bench; the other, scraping human hide. They sniff the air, spin around as one, and glare menacingly at the boys in the doorway.

They are mis-shaped proto-humanoids with beaver-like teeth and orange skin wearing frilled human skins. The boys leap onto their their bikes, and haul ass.

HORROR SITUATION: They are caught looking into the monster’s lair.
HORROR: The monster’s shocking features; and wearing garments of human skin.
FEAR: Of this creature; the unknown.
TERROR: What that creature might do to them if caught.
PANIC: They pedal away as fast as they can.
MONSTER. REVEAL: We see the monster for the first time in all his ugliness,… and he sees us.

23. EXT. MONSTER’S HUT – CONTINUOUS
Joe, Gene, Lee, and Sammy jump on their bikes and pedal off at panic speed. The two monsters give speedy foot chase and smash Lee and Gene across their heads with clubs. Lee and Gene tumble off their bikes unconscious.
Sammy and Joe make it to the relative safety of the woods and look back at the monsters dragging Lee and Gene into the hut.

24. EXT. WOODS – DAY
Joe, in shock, defers to Frank, a Marine veteran, who has a gun and who won’t leave without Lee and Gene, alive or dead. But Frank confesses he threw his gun away after shooting Manny. Sammy volunteers to go back to find it.
Joe suggests to Frank that they bury Manny because he’s starting to rot and stink. Frank won’t hear of it. He’s going to continue to haul the body on his back.

25. INT. MONSTER’S HUT – DAY
Lee and Gene are hogtied in chairs. They are terrified as the monsters gaze into their eyes, appraising them. The monsters talk gutturally [translated on screen]. They admire the fine eye specimens and the muscular shape of the two. They discuss getting rid of the old “bull” and replacing him with Lee and Gene.

Lee is retied to a slab and his eyes are gouged out and the optic nerves snipped. Gene is petrified with horror when it’s his turn.

HORROR SITUATION: Lee and Gene get their eyeballs gouged out.
SUSPENSE: We kinda know, but dread what’s about to happen.
DREAD: The idea of having one’s eyes gouged out.
PARALYZING FEAR: Gene is paralyzed in fear when it’s his turn.
PANIC: Lee fights against restraint and the inevitable gouging.
HORROR: Helplessness in the face of cruel indifference.
RELEASE: None.
MONSTER REVEAL: They collect eyeballs.

26. EXT. WOODS – SAME
Frank and Joe cringe as they listen helplessly to the screams from the hut.

27. EXT. FOREST – DAY
We follow Sammy as he races down oxbow paths and leaps ravines and catapults off rocks.

28. EXT. RIVERBANK – DAY
Sammy drops his bike and searches through the grasses. He espies the Glock, picks it up, and throws it into his backpack. He hears a voice shouting to him from across the river.

It’s the motorcycle gang with the drunk’s skinned body tied to motorcycle trailer. They want Sammy to cross to them. He takes off back into the forest.

29. EXT. EDGE OF WOODS – DAY – INCLUDE MONSTER’S HUT
Frank and Joe watch as the monsters guide the wobbly-legged, dazed Lee and Gene onto the veranda. Their eyes are now bloody holes. Frank gets an attack of PTSD. Joe calms him.

30. EXT. FOREST – DAY
Sammy races through the forest on his bike, confident in his expert skills. The bike slips on some wet moss and Sammy crashes to the ground just as an obsidian machete whizzes by his descending head and embeds into another tree. A booby trap.

We see the Glock slide out of the backpack and into a badger hole. Sammy puts the machete into his backpack.

31. EXT. EDGE OF WOODS – DAY – INCLUDE MONSTER’S HUT
The monsters guide the wobbly Gene and Lee into the stock barn behind the hut. Joe rashly decides to retrieve Lee and Gene’s fallen bikes near the hut.

He gets to the bikes, but, being in the open, must drop as the monsters step out of the barn. When they turn to lock it, Joe sprints to the protective corner of the hut.

32. EXT. HUT – EVENING
The monsters #1 and #2 step onto the veranda and stop. #2 sniffs the air, senses Joe. Joe stays ahead and hidden behind the corners from monster #2 as he sniffs his way around the hut back to the veranda. Joe slips inside the hut behind the waiting back of #1 as #2 steps back onto the veranda. Together, they enter the hut.

HORROR SITUATION: Joe plays cat and mouse with monster #2, then slips into the hut—a trap where horror happens.
SUSPENSE: Can Joe stay ahead of #2’s sniffing nose without being seen? And, will #1 stay turned with his back to him before he can slip inside the hut without detection?
DREAD: Joe is trapped in the hut with the monsters.
FEAR: Joe will be caught.
ANGUISH: Frank is powerless to help Joe.
RELEASE: Joe is undiscovered for the moment.
MONSTER REVEAL: The monsters have a keen sense of smell.

33. EXT. EDGE OF WOODS – SAME
Frank can’t believe his eyes as he watches Joe enter the hut and the monsters go in after him. He suddenly feels abandoned and alone with only his dead brother to talk to, to comfort him.

34. INT. MONSTER’S HUT – DAY
Monsters #1 and #2 at workbench working on eyeballs. Woman monster and monster child enter with baskets full of blackberries and dump them on the table. The woman monster’s neck is adorned with an eyeball necklace.

Woman monster sniffs, smells Joe somewhere. She searches, eyes every nook and cranny. But, no Joe. They conclude it must be lingering odors from Lee and Gene.

We look up to the rafters, see Joe stretched lengthwise along one of them, as still as a dusty stick, dreading they will look up.

35. INT. STOCK BARN – EVENING
Three eyeless man, GREGORY, MIKE, and BILLY comfort the terrified Lee and Gene. Gregory, the so-called old “Bull”, tells them they will get used to their condition in time… and the food is good.
He says they can never escape without eyes because they can’t see the unfamiliar territory and there’s no electrical communications. They are in a hidden remnant of the stone age. Gene is hopeful they will be saved by Joe or Frank.

HORROR SITUATION: Gene and Lee are apparently stuck here forever.
ANGUISH/REGRET: This wouldn’t have happened if they hadn’t come on this stupid ride.
SHOCK: That they could be stuck here for the rest of their lives.
RELEASE: The food is good.
MONSTER REVEAL: They consider human sapiens as livestock for food and clothing (like the buffalo were to the plains Indians).

36. INT. HUT – EVENING
Joe is frozen on the ceiling beam, observing the monsters eat at the table below. They are noisily noshing on human excrement—a staple. Joe almost gives himself away with a repeated noiseless gag reflex.

MONSTER SITUATION: Joe is just a gag away from being noticed.
FEAR: Joe fears he will be noticed at any moment.
SUSPENSE: Will Joe give himself away with a muffled gag?
MONSTER REVEAL: The monsters eat shit as a family unit, complete with table conversation.

37. EXT. EDGE OF CLEARING – DUSK
Sammy arrives back. Now they can rescue Joe and the others with the gun, but Sammy discovers he must have lost it when he crashed.

They observe the three adult monsters leave the hut and head to the barn. They decide to go to see what happened to Joe.

38. INT. HUT – EVENING
Joe, with deliberate slowness, oozes down from the beam onto the table unnoticed by the monster child playing with bones on the floor.. Sammy and Frank burst in. The monster child sees them. They are forced to take him hostage.

39. INT. BARN – EVENING
The monsters are feeding the blind men on the board from a pail. They hear monster child in distress. Woman monster leaves.

40. INT. HUT – EVENING
Woman monster looks around for monster child. She worries and leaves.

41. EXT. WOODS – NIGHT
The monster child rebels and bites Sammy. They restrain him and guard him.

42. INT. BARN – NIGHT
Woman monster enters and tells the other two monsters that the child monster is missing. They dismiss it, saying he’s probably gone to his friends house for the night. They leave.

The eyeless “Bull” reveals that there are more monsters living nearby… and more eyeless humans working the fields as slaves, etc.

43. EXT. EDGE OF CLEARING – NIGHT
Joe, Frank, and Sammy watch the three monsters enter the hut. Joe and Frank sneak up to the barn and go in.

44. INT. BARN – NIGHT
Joe and Frank make a plan to escape with Lee and Gene. Joe and Frank must hide when the monsters come back and take eyeless “Bull” away. The listen to the “Bull” screaming from a distance outside somewhere.

HORROR SITUATION: The monsters return and take the “Bull”away.
FEAR: What’s going to happen to him… and them?
SUSPENSE: Will Joe and Frank get caught?
CREEPY MOMENT: Woman monster plucks maggots from Lee’s infected eye and crams a glob of ointment into the eye socket..
MONSTER REVEAL: They show a degree of caring.

45. EXT. BARN – NIGHT
After the screaming has stopped, Joe and Frank lead Lee and Gene out of the barn. They bump into the hanging, skin-stripped carcass of the Bull.

HORROR SITUATION: They bump into the stripped, dead body of the Bull.
SHOCK: The sudden appearance of the hanging Bull in the dark.
FEAR: If they get caught, they may get skinned alive.
SUSPENSE: Will they make it out? Their escape is hindered by the eyeless Lee and Gene.
HORROR: The stripped body of the Bull.
RELEASE: They run into the night, apparently undetected.
MONSTER REVEAL: Their handiwork.

46. EXT. EDGE OF CLEARING – NIGHT
They wait until dawn. Dense fog. They push their bikes while leading eyeless Lee and Gene higher up the piedmont to get out of it. The child monster escapes from Sammy.

47. EXT. FOREST – DAY
Fog thinning. They are now pedaling their bikes. Frank has the dead Manny strapped to his back. Eyeless Lee is riding on the seat behind Sammy. Eyeless Gene is riding on the seat behind Joe. A monster suddenly appears out of the fog and snatches Lee away. They have to keep going.

HORROR SITUATION: A monster snatches Lee off Sammy’s bike.
FEAR: Who’s next?
SUSPENSE: Will they make it away without more snatches?
PANIC: Must move faster. They feel helpless with their burdens.
MONSTER REVEAL: We see a monster appear out of nowhere, snatch Lee, and disappear into the fog with him.

48. EXT. FOREST – DAY
Sammy leaps a log in the path. Joe goes around it, leaning foreword, pedaling with all he’s got. His bike its a tripwire. An obsidian machete sweeps over him and takes Gene’s head off.

HORROR SITUATION: Gene is decapitated.
FEAR: Are there more booby traps?
PANIC: Joe panics at his near miss.
SUSPENSE: Will they make it out now that the monsters are around them?
MONSTER REVEAL: They are clever.

49. EXT. FOREST – LATER – SAME DAY
Joe, Sammy, and Frank race along the mountainside. Suddenly, monsters shower them with stones from above. Joe is knocked unconscious off his bike as Frank and Sammy flee out of range.

HORROR SITUATION: Monsters throwing rocks at them.
FEAR: They will get hit?
PANIC: Joe is left behind; can’t be saved under the circumstances?
SUSPENSE: Who will survive?
MONSTER REVEAL: They are determined nobody gets away.

50. EXT. CLIFFTOP – DAY
A monster gives chase and knocks Frank from his bike. Frank frantically removes a can of fire starter from the side of his backpack as the monster furiously buzzes his skin off with its incisors. Frank finally kicks the monster away as he finds his lighter while squirting the monster with the fire starer fluid.

He ignites the monster. The monster stands and stares at the flames consuming its body. Frank scoots away, the skin on his left pec completely peeled off, and hurries over to his bike.


The monster stands there and burns for a minute, then chases after Frank, grabs him and hugs him. Both are aflame. The monster lets goes as Frank collapses screaming and burns to death with Manny afire on his back.

The monster wipes the flames off himself like wiping off dust. He now has his eyes set on Sammy, who is frozen in horror, but not for long as the monster runs toward him.

HORROR SITUATION: Frank is set afire by the monster he lit up.
HORROR: Frank on fire.
FEAR: Sammy is paralyzed with fear. Will he get out of it in time?.
PANIC: What can Sammy do, but run and hope?
SUSPENSE: With the monster approaching for one final kill, will Sammy get away?
HORROR: A threesome—monster, Frank, and Manny—aflame.
MONSTER REVEAL: They’re immune to fire.

51. EXT. CLIFF’S EDGE – DAY
Sammy does incredible bike maneuvers to evade the chasing monster who is hot on his tail with Sammy’s every move. Sammy flies over a hundred-foot cliff and disappears into the river below. The monster does not follow.

HORROR SITUATION: Being chased by a monster determined to kill you.
FEAR: Getting caught.
SUSPENSE: Close calls when other monsters join in the chase.
RELEASE: Sammy is saved by the river water.
MONSTER REVEAL: They’re afraid to death of water, their Achilles’’ Heel.

52. EXT RIVERBANK – DAY
Sammy lies washed up against rocks of the riverbank. He’s saved by the motorcycle gang, who we first thought were the monsters.

HORROR SITUATION: The motorcycle gang finds Sammy.
FEAR: They will hurt him.
PANIC: Sammy is trapped.
SUSPENSE: After all Sammy’s been through, what now?
MONSTER BEVEAL: The motorcycle gang is not affiliated with the monsters. Instead, they tried to warn Sammy, et al.

53. INT. SAMMY’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Sammy has a nightmare that has a different conclusion to the horror he experienced. He dies, but wakes up.

54. INT. MONSTERS’ HUT – DAY
Monster domesticity; family peacefully eating shit.

55. INT. MONSTER’S FIELD – DAY
Eyeless Joe harnessed in a row of paired eyeless guys pulling a plow under the whip and reins of their monster master.

HORROR SITUATION: Joe is now a slave for life to the monsters.
FEAR: Going crazy.
DREAD: That day when, either through misconduct or old age,. he will be skinned alive.
RELEASE: He’s safe, for now.
MONSTER REVEAL: They are farmers.

FADE OUT

[Patricia Semler]

PAT’S HORROR OUTLINE VERSION 1
What I learned doing this assignment is to flesh out the terror with variation and that some bridging scenes were missing. I also found a lot more horror situation than I thought I had. We’ll see what happens when the characters begin exerting their personalities.
Title still needs to be brainstormed.
Concept – A pair of teachers and their Gen Z students accidentally free a vengeful witch from her prison and scramble to survive her wrath.

EXT. SOUTHERN MANSION – DAY
Sometime after the Civil War, a wary group of God-fearing townsfolk hold a solemn vigil at two story sprawling house.
INT. SOUTHERN MANSION – PARLOR – DAY
While a witch woman lies dying in the root cellar, three Santeria priestesses are forced to perform a holding spell. Once done the women are promptly killed.
Horror situation – Tricked
Emotions: Dread – The women are betraying one of their own
Fear – Forced to perform
Betrayal – Betrayed in turn, the head priestess curses the men who used them.
EXT. SOUTHERN MANSION – DAY
Present day. The same house surrounded by the foundations of high rise condos. A worker uncovers the mass grave, sworn to silence by Developer Ivan.
Horror situation – Find the clutch of bones
Emotions: Shock – superstitious, the worker is creeped out
Denial – Developer Ivan refuses to acknowledge the find
Fear – the Worker wants no part of this, leaves the site
EXT. VOCATIONAL HIGH SCHOOL – DAY
Meet the core of the carpentry class – Mika, Arianna, Nat, Bryan, Johnny Ray and Rusty.
INT. HIGH SCHOOL – CARPENTRY SHOP – DAY
Ivan offers the teacher Franklin a chance to get hands on experience by renovating the house since he’s restricted by its historic designation.
INT. HIGH SCHOOL – CARPENTRY SHOP – DAY
History Teacher Dahlia brings in research. Gossip of hauntings get laughs from these Gen Z non-believers.
EXT. SOUTHERN MANSION – DAY
The access is a dirt lane that crosses an old wooden bridge over a wide rocky brook.
INT. SOUTHERN MANSION – GROUND FLOOR ROOMS – DAY
Franklin leads a tour of the house. Its too quiet. The cell phone service chancy, no electricity or running water.
Horror Situation – Walking into a trap
Emotions: Anxiety – Gen Zers fret over poor cell service
Suspense – What could happen to them if they stay?
Release – A stray cat surprises them.
Denial – They don’t believe in ghosts.
INT. SOUTHERN MANSION – UPPER HALL – DAY
Whisperings follow them through the halls. The boys needle the girls. By the way, where are the bathrooms?
EXT. SOUTHERN MANSION – OUTHOUSE – DAY
Dahlia shows Arianna and Mika the outhouse. Nat uses it after the girls leave, locked in and threatened by a sludge monster.
Horror Situation – Trapped
Emotions: Surprise. Nat thinks his buddies are playing games.
Disquiet – Something’s moving in the toilet hole
Panic – No one answers his calls for help.
Release – Just seconds from being slimed the door opens. Johnny Ray laughs at him. There’s nothing in the outhouse.
INT. SOUTHERN MANSION – UPPER HALL – DAY
Franklin pulls down a trap door to the attic. They’re pummeled by escaping bats.
INT. SOUTHERN MANSION – KITCHEN – DAY
Dahlia finds out the house belonged to Esperanza as leader of a Cuban community after the Civil War.
INT. SOUTHERN MANSION – DRAWING ROOM – DAY
The kids find an ornate mirror and try to invoke Bloody Mary.
Dahlia chases them out and is the only one to see the witch Esperanza in the mirror. Freaked out she covers the mirror.
Horror Situation – Out of the frying pan
Emotions: Suspense – As a goof they recite the mantra
Release – the boys startle the girls
Surprise – Dahlia sees the witch in the glass
Monster Reveal – The witch senses Dahlia’s presence.
Dread – Is this real? What can she do to contain the witch?
INT. SOUTHERN MANSION – PARLOR – DAY
Rusty finds the witchy bundle in the wall. Ivan takes the thing, unties the ribbons which undoes the holding spell.
INT. SOUTHERN MANSION – ROOT CELLAR – DAY
A ghost light ignites in the cellar, runs through the walls of the house like a spirit awakening.
EXT. CONSTRUCTION TRAILER – DAY
Ivan tosses the shoes in a trash fire.
EXT. SOUTHERN MANSION – ROOF – DAY
The boys deal with missing roof tiles. Johnny Ray almost goes over the side after his harness pick point fails.
Horror Situation – Sneak attack
Emotions – Suspense. Safety harnesses unhitch themselves
Panic – No matter what they try they can’t pull Johnny up.
Anguish – They run out of ideas for a rescue.
Release – Nat and Bryan go below to pull Johnny in a window.
EXT. SOUTHERN MANSION – DAY
Dahlia gets a warning from her librarian friend about the house. Get out before the witch wakes.
EXT. SOUTHERN MANSION- BROOK – DAY
Driving out, the librarian crashes into a buttress that takes out the bridge on the only road in. She’s drowned.
Horror Situation – Face to face with the monster
Emotions – shock. The apparition simply appears in the way.
Panic – She tries to swerve, hits the bridge
Hysteria – The bridge collapses, she’s trapped and drowns.
INT. SOUTHERN MANSION – KITCHEN – DAY
Dahlia is the only one who can read cursive. So the kids head back to repairs and she digs through the books.
INT. SOUTHERN MANSION – PARLOR – DAY
Franklin admonishes Arianna to do more work and less Facetime live stream documentation. She’s overwhelmed by spiders.
INT. SOUTHERN MANSION – DRAWING ROOM – DAY
Rusty works solo. A nail gun moves on its own, blinds him in a near miss. A whisper coaxes him to follow.
INT. SOUTHERN MANSION – ROOT CELLAR – DAY
Rusty stumbles down stairs. The floor gives under him and he’s swallowed by quicksand.
Horror Situation – Wounded
Emotions – Anguish. Rusty freaks out, latches onto the witch’s voice
Fear – childhood memories surface as he crabs along a hall
Suspense – the witch waits in the root cellar.
Surprise – He’s trapped in quicksand and dies.
INT. SOUTHERN MANSION – PARLOR
Work continues, but poltergeist activity increases. Johnny Ray and Bryan struggle with misbehaving tools.
Horror Situation – denial
Emotions: Anxiety – They chalk up troubles to approaching storm.
EXT. SOUTHERN MANSION – BROOK – DAY
Franklin does a perimeter check. They’re surrounded by 10 foot fences, the gate locked. Ivan uninterested in helping.
INT. SOUTHERN MANSION – HALL – DAY
Where’s Rusty? A search misses the cellar door.
INT. SOUTHERN MANSION – PARLOR – NIGHT
Dahlia reports highlights about Esperanza. The kids aren’t buying the “typical” horror story themes.
INT. SOUTHERN MANSION – HALL – NIGHT
Ghastly noises, weakening flashlight batteries and ghostly touchings cause tensions to rise.
Horror Situation – Attacked or chased
Emotions – Anxiety – disbelief hampers the teens’ ability to come to grips with Esperanza’s hauntings
Panic – Their world is upended as reality falls apart.
Hysteria – We don’t know what to do.
EXT. SOUTHERN MANSION – ROOF – NIGHT
Franklin dies in a fall off the roof when his harness undoes itself before his eyes.
Horror situation – isolated
Emotions: Fear. He’s afraid of the storm and without backup.
Suspense – His harness twitches under unseen hands.
Apprehension – Franklin feels the weakness, loses his balance.
Terror – He clings to the eave right over the debris pile.
Shock – Esperanza appears, stomps on his hand holds.
INT/EXT. BUS – NIGHT
The kids pile in, but the bus won’t start. They run to the construction trailer, demand that Ivan unlock the gate.
EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE – NIGHT
Ivan dies trying to jumpstart one of his construction vehicles, strangled with the cords.
EXT. CONSTRUCTION TRAILER – NIGHT
The machine chases the kids back to the house.
INT. SOUTHERN MANSION – DRAWING ROOM – NIGHT
Jock Bryan picks the wrong time to hit on Arianna which riles Esperanza with righteous fury.
INT. SECOND FLOOR – BEDROOM – DAY
Nat and Mika find the decapitated Bryan. They locate Johnny Ray and plot an escape.
INT. SOUTHERN MANSION – DRAWING ROOM – NIGHT
Arianna has totally flipped out. Esperanza consoles, coaxes her to the mirror and pulls her in.
Horror Situation – Entrapment
Emotions: Hysteria. Arianna is lost without her internet.
Suspense – Esperanza appears to be sympathetic.
Shock – Arianna is beyond thinking, lets the witch take her.
Denial – Too late Arianna resists. Esperanza absorbs her whole, gaining more substance.
INT. SOUTHERN MANSION – KITCHEN – NIGHT
Dahlia frantically combs through the books to find anything that will contain the witch.
INT. SOUTHERN MANSION – HALLS – NIGHT
The witch captures the remaining teens, prepares to siphon their life energy.
Horror situation – being chased or attacked
Emotions – Dread – Nothing they’re tried has made them safer.
Anguish – Nat is injured
Surprise – Mika takes the lead but Johnny Ray balks and the witch traps them one by one
Horror – Esperanza relishes their terror
INT. SOUTHERN MANSION – ROOT CELLAR – NIGHT
Dahlia bluffs a fresh binding spell, using baby shoes that belong to Mika from her sister, sacrificing herself.
Horror situation – Dilemma
Emotions: Dread – Dahlia is desperate to avoid facing the witch, but that would mean sacrificing the teens
Anguish – She’s not sure she can accomplish the holding spell
Anxiety – Esperanza taunts Dahlia to distract her
Suspense – Can she finish the spell and free the teens?
Determination – Not a horror emotion, but Dahlia resolves to give herself to allow the teens to escape
INT. SOUTHERN MANSION – PARLOR – NIGHT
On their way out Johnny Ray sets up a slow burn arson.
EXT. SOUTHERN MANSION – BROOK – DAY
Mika, Nat and Johnny Ray run to the brook. Johnny Ray dies trying to cross the brook.
Horror Situation – See another killed
Emotions: Apprehension. The trio flee the house to the brook.
Anxiety – Crossing the water on the broken beams is a balancing act.
Horror – Johnny Ray crows a final “Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live”, and a final burst of Esperanza’s hatred shoves him off a beam to drown.
Shock – Nat and Mika cower when the house ignites.
EXT. SOUTHERN MANSION – DAY
Police cars and fire engines crowd the brook as people rush to build a temporary bridge.
The house is burning cinders.
Nat and Mika herded into an ambulance. Neither one ready to talk.
Who would believe their story?

[Barry Barry Durbin Durbin]

Barry’s Horror Outline Version 1

What I learned is that my turning points needed to be elevated.

Title: Terror on Calvary Mountain

Concept:
When college friends set search for an abandoned Calvary encampment and mistakenly disturb an Indian burial ground, they are trapped and terrorized by a giant, malevolent creature from the spirit world.

ACT 1
EXT. CALVARY ENCAMPMENT. DUSK
Three U.S. Calvary soldiers are running for their lives through the woods. Their faces are gripped with terror. Suddenly, with a flash, one soldier disappears, then a second soldiers disappears. The last soldier makes it back to the encampment and tries to enter the watchtower. The gate is locked. He screams at someone to let him in. He just begins to scream, and we see blood splash on the side of the gate. We hear him gurgling and the creature lets out an ear-piercing scream.

Horror Situation: Calvary soldiers are being chased by something large. It catches them and kills them one at a time.

Note: Opening Scene

Horror Map:
Creepy Moment: Foggy, dark forest.
Apprehension: Soldiers are looking for something. Their rifles are ready.
Surprise: Loud cracking noise nearby startles them.
Terror: They see the creature, but we can’t.
Panic: They start shooting their rifles and it doesn’t stop the creature. The panic and run.
Terror: One soldier is killed
Release: Second soldier falls to the ground. He tripped on a stump but it is ok.
Terror: As soon as the fallen soldier starts running again, he is killed.
Panic: The last soldier makes it to the gate, but can’t open it.
Dread: The creature reaches him. He has his back to the creature and slowly turns
Terror: He gets killed
Creepy Moment: Blood splashes on the fence along with claw marks from the creature.

EXT. HOUSE DRIVEWAY. DAY
Introduce characters. They are loading the vehicle for a trip.

Alex, the leader, is loading backpacks into the vehicle. They discuss going on the trip. He tells Meghann, the Moral One, about he and his dad spending time hiking in the woods and mentions rumors of big, hairy monsters being seen in the woods.

Beth, the Rule Breaker, arrives carrying her backpack. She starts to put her backpack in the vehicle when Chad, the Obnoxious One, jumps out from under a blanket and scares her. She screams and punches him.

Bennie, the Complainer, is the last one to arrive. The others are already aggravated with him for making them wait. He makes excuses and blames his lateness on someone else.

EXT. NASHOBA’S HOUSE. DAY
Nashoba, the introvert, is outside helping his elderly Grandmother move items in her yard as the others pull up in the vehicle.

Nashoba’s elderly Native American Grandmother warns them they are going near sacred ground and about the Shampe, the Hairy Man. Shampe is the Choctaw word for Bigfoot. She cautions them not to go.

The Grandmother gives Nashoba a necklace with spiritual meaning and urges him to keep the item with him for protection

INT. VEHICLE. DAY
Alex assures everyone that he is an expert woodsman, and they have nothing to worry about. Chad adds that the old lady is crazy. Nashoba warns him not to anger the spirits. Chad scoffs at him. Meghann agrees with Alex and angrily tells Chad the woman and Nashoba aren’t crazy. She tells him to be quiet. He rolls his eyes.
Bennie tries to convince himself that there is nothing to worry about. He complains that he didn’t want to go on this trip in the first place. He farts and gags the others. He tells them he ate cheese enchiladas and forgot to take his lactose pills.

EXT. WOODS. DAY
They get lost. They lose their sense of direction. Chad and Beth tease Alex for getting lost since he’s supposed to be a big woodsman.
Chad argues with Alex about the correct direction to proceed. Meghann jumps in to play peacemaker.

EXT. WOODS. LATER
There is movement in the trees. Meghann sees a figure, but then it is gone. No one else sees it.

EXT. WOODS. MOMENTS LATER
A clump of gray animal hair clings to a branch 7 feet off the ground.

EXT. INDIAN BURIAL GROUND. DUSK
They smell something with such a horrible stench, they blame Bennie.
They discover an Indian Burial marker. Chad throws it into the woods.

EXT.NASHOBA’S GRANDMOTHER’S HOUSE.DUSK
The Grandmother looks up to the sky. She says something in Choctaw. Then in English, “The spirits are angry.”

EXT. WOODS. SIMULTANEOUSLY
The creature appears through an inter-dimensional portal. From the Creature’s POV, it can see them.

EXT.WOODS-SWINGING BRIDGE.DAY
They cross a rickety, swinging bridge over a steep ravine. They argue about crossing because it looks dangerous. They begin crossing the bridge that has missing boards. As the first-person crosses, a board breaks, and they almost fall. As the last two cross, we see the bridge about to give way and collapse. Just as they are almost to the end, the bridge collapses. They grab part of the bridge and hold on. They are dangling over the ravine’s edge with a high ledge. The others scramble to pull them to safety. They are now isolated.

EXT. ABANDONED CALVARY ENCAMPMENT. DAY
They see a tall fence constructed of tree trunks. It’s grown over and abandoned. They begin to move closer. Suddenly, they hear loud snapping of tree branches. They freeze and listen. They hear more branches cracking and getting closer. They rush to the fence and look for an opening. They find a gate and tear away the overgrowth. As the gate is cleared, they see signs of the previous horror, blood splatter, deep claw marks, etc. The creature lets out a loud scream. They frantically try to open the gate. They can’t get it open. The sound is getting closer. They finally can pull the gate open enough to get inside.

Horror Situation: Something is after them. They see signs of previous terror as they find a way into the encampment.

Note: First Turning Point

Horror Map:
Apprehension: They are nervous about going inside the spooky environment.
Creepy Moment: The encampment fence is overgrown, dark, and spooky.
Fear: They hear branches breaking nearby.
Panic: They desperately try to get inside.
Fear: They uncover a portion of the fence with blood splatter and claw marks. They hear the creature scream (howl).

INT. ENCAMPMENT. DAY
They push the gate shut and find a pole to help barricade the gate.

EXT. ENCAMPMENT. SIMULTANEOUSLY
From the creatures POV. It’s looking at the gate.

ACT 2
INT. ENCAMPMENT. NIGHT
Trapped inside the encampment with the creature outside. They look for a way inside one of the buildings behind the fence. Only two buildings and a watchtower near the main gate are still standing. Other buildings have collapsed. They find a way in one of the buildings and look for a way to secure the door.
Bennie starts to break down in fear. They argue again about what to do next.
Meghann peaks outside through a window and thinks she sees the creature. No one else can see anything. The others are in denial and don’t believe her.

EXT. WOODS. NIGHT
We see the legs of the creature walking through an inter-dimensional portal and along the fence line.

INT.ENCAMPMENT. NIGHT
They hear the creature outside pounding against the fence and snorting. They hide inside and talk quietly.

INT. ENCAMPMENT.LATER
Beth ventures by herself into a different room using her cell phone for light. Her battery dies and she’s in the dark. She falls through the floor.

INT. HIDDEN ROOM. NIGHT
Beth lies on the floor as the others run to her rescue. She finds a lantern. Bennie throws her a lighter. The others look at him confused and he pulls out his weed. She finds old TNT and flares. They make a human ladder and pull her out.

INT.ENCAMPMENT. NIGHT
Chad to leave, others want to move to the watchtower. Beth agrees to go with him.

EXT.WOODS. NIGHT (MIDPOINT)
Chad and Beth exit the encampment building. They walk cautiously, scanning the surrounds. Chad opens the gate and they exit. They leave the gate ajar.
The monster stalks them. they can’t tell which direction the monster is coming from. He eventually walks backwards cautiously searching for the monster and back into it. He screams and blood splashes on Beth’s face. She panics and runs back to the encampment. She leaves the gate ajar.

Horror Situation: Chad and Beth leave the encampment to seek safety on their own. Chad gets killed.

Horror Map:
Apprehension: They scan the area looking for the creature.
Fear: They leave the gate ajar.
Creepy Moment: The creature is watching them.
Fear: They hear the creature growling and snapping branches.
Anxiety: They can’t tell which direction the sound is coming from.
Suspense: The noise stops, but they still don’t see anything.
Horror: Alex is backing up as he scans. He runs into the creature and is killed.
Panic: Beth face is splattered with blood. She screams and starts running.
Fear: She hears the creature behind her. She enters the compound, but leaves the gate ajar. The creature disappears through the portal.

INT. ENCAMPMENT. NIGHT
Those remaining react to the sight of Beth’s bloody appearance and Chad’s death.

EXT. ENCAMPMENT. NIGHT
The creature enters the encampment through the open gate.

INT.ENCAMPMENT. NIGHT (2nd TP)
Horror Situation: Creature pulls Bennie out of the window and kills him.

Horror Map: 2nd TP Scene
Apprehension: They smell the bad smell again. What is it?
Creepy Moment: The creature is lurking outside
Fear: Bennie sits near the window.
Creepy Moment: There is a crack in the window.
Suspense: Everyone is talking and are unaware that the creature is nearby.
Fear: Bennie sits by the window
Creepy Moment: The creature is getting closer to the window. We see the crack.
Suspense: Bennie sits quietly. The others talk.
Shock: The creature's arm crashes through the window.
Terror: Bennie is pulled through the window.
Panic: The other scream and scramble to hide.
Fear: They hear Bennie screaming outside.
Creepy Moment: We see Bennies dead, bloody body.

They smell the same stench from earlier. They still wonder what the smell is. The others tease Bennie again. Bennie is angry and moves away from the others and sits near a window. The creature smashes through the window and pulls him out. They hear him screaming and gurgling before going silent. Monster Reveal: We see the full creature. They light a flare pointing it at the creature and it retreats through the portal.

ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR

INT.ENCAMPMENT. NIGHT
Nashoba is calm, withdraws, and looks at his spiritual item. Beth is trembling and in shock. Alex goes into action to barricade the opening.
Meghann screams. She eventually regains control of herself and impatiently urges Beth to calm down and help.

INT.ENCAMPMENT. NIGHT
Alex decides on a new plan to move to the watchtower.

EXT. ENCAMPMENT. NIGHT
They begin moving to the watchtower using flares as protection. Alex protects the others and is the last to go. His flare is extinguished. He tries to light another one, but fails. There is suspense as he tries to light another flare. He begins to panic and runs towards the watchtower. The creature grabs his legs and pulls him away. He screams and the others are watching him being brutally killed.

Horror Situation: The characters are attempting to move to a safer location. Alex is the last to go. His flare burns out and his is killed.
Apprehension: Alex climbs through the broken window and is outside. Beth doesn’t want to go.
Creepy Moment: They see Bennies dead body.
Panic: Nashoba can’t open the Watchtower door.
Monster Reveal: The creature appears again through the portal.
Fear: Alex’s flare goes out.
Panic: He can’t light another one.
Fear: The creature is getting closer.
Horror: Alex is pulled away by his legs and killed.
Hysteria: The girls become hysterical, not able to control their emotions.
Creepy Moment: Alex is still breathing. Blood squirts out of his mouth. He dies.

INT. WATCHTOWER. NIGHT
They react to the horror. Meghann comes up with a new plan to lure the creature to the explosives.

EXT. WATCHTOWER. NIGHT
The monster circles the watchtower, pounding on the walls. Then stops.

INT.ENCAMPMENT. NIGHT
She rallies everyone to put her plan into place. The light flares and leave.

EXT.ENCAMPMENT. NIGHT
The monster is going after Meghann. Nashoba tries to distract the monster away from Meghann. The monster swipes its claw at her ripping her skin as blood flies. It slams Meghann across the room. She’s hurt and not moving. The monster slowly starts towards her, when Nashoba screams at it as he moves toward the trap. The monster leaps at him and they both fall into the trap. The building explodes.
Beth is traumatized, but alive. Beth is holding a flare. She begins to scream obscenities toward the monster. The monster emerges from the fire and kills Beth. The creature looks toward Meghann, she appears to be dead. It leaves. As soon as it’s gone, Meghann moves. She’s alive. We see police helicopters flying overhead.

Horror Situation: They lead the creature to the TNT. Nashoba throw a flare onto the TNT and blows the building up, killing them. Monster emerges to kill Beth. Meghann survives.
Note: Climax
Horror Map:
Apprehension: They leave the safety of the watchtower not knowing where the monster is located.
Monster Reveal: The creature enters through the portal. The full creature is visible.
Fear: The creature is coming after them.
Panic: Beth abandons her role in the plan, she runs and hides
Suspense: Meghann and Nashoba each hold flares, it keeps the creature at bay for now
Terror: Meghann tries to lure the creature to the TNT, it knocks her into the building causing a partial collapse on top of her. She’s injured and appears to be dead.
Fear: The creature turns to Nashoba.
Suspense: Nashoba uses the flare to keep the creature back while he positions himself near the TNT.
Terror: The creature lunges at Nashoba and they both fall through the floor on top of the TNT. The burning flare ignites the TNT and the building explodes killing them.
Shock: Beth taunts the creature. It emerges from the fire and kills her. The creature leaves. Meghann moves and is alive.

EXT.MONSTER’S WORLD.NIGHT
The creature steps through the portal into a world with many more of his species.

• This reply was modified 2 months, 1 week ago by  Barry Barry Durbin Durbin.