Lesson 16

[Jennifer Quintenz-Berry]

Jenn’s Profound Map Version 1

What I learned doing this assignment is: I had to edit out quite a bit to attempt to streamline this into a useful document. I kept trying to make it a full outline but realized that was counterproductive. It’s handy to have everything ready at a glance. I’m eager to move forward with the script, after a few rounds of feedback, of course!

TITLE: MOBIUS SYNDROME
Screenplay by: Jenn Quintenz
Novel by: Amanda Quintenz-Fiedler

1) What is Your Profound Truth?
Ready or not, life is happening now. Don’t wait for the perfect moment, or you’ll miss everything.

Closing yourself off from others doesn't just protect you from grief; it deprives you of love, which is essential to being human.

2) What is the Transformational Journey?
Old Ways: Self-defeating, Sarcastic, doesn't see the point in trying, believes she suffers unique and unfair misfortune, isolates herself

Journey: Taylor grows from a grieving patient who behaves as if her life is already over into a determined woman risking her life to save her sister and change her world.

New Ways: Empowered, embraces others, able to form genuine friendships, values what she once took for granted, isn’t afraid to love even if it means grieving loss.

Transformational Logline: After surviving the crash that killed her sister, a young woman discovers her life-threatening seizures send her back to relive moments from her past. But as she’s falling for the neuroscientist trying to save her, she realizes she has the power to rewrite her sister’s fate—if she’s willing to risk her life and her heart.

3) Who are Your Lead Characters?
Transformable Character: TAYLOR DONLAN
A young woman trapped in a medical facility for nearly a year with no answers to her worsening condition. After several increasingly severe seizures that blur the line between reality and memory, she loses hope and attempts suicide. But through her journey of grief and self-discovery, Taylor begins to embrace her inner strength, taking control of her life for the first time—and uncovering the extraordinary power within her.

Change Agent: CARRIE GRIFFIN
An unfiltered, incorrigible old woman brought in to help Taylor re-engage with life after her suicide attempt. Though dying from cancer, Carrie refuses to let her diagnosis stop her from savoring every moment. Her philosophy: you can’t control the hand life deals you, but you can learn to play your cards. Having lived through loss and joy alike, Carrie embodies resilience and helps Taylor find the courage to embrace life fully.

Betraying Character: RIAZ
A handsome young world-renowned neurodiagnostic epileptologist brought in to tackle Taylor’s mysterious and worsening condition after all other specialists fail. Dedicated and compassionate, he becomes torn between his feelings for Taylor and his ethical duty as a doctor. As Taylor begins to believe she can rewrite the past, Riaz fears she’s losing touch with reality. Though he genuinely wants to help her, his inability to accept her experiences as real creates a rift that forces Taylor to choose between his care and her conviction.

The Oppression: TAYLOR’S NEUROLOGICAL DISORDER
Taylor’s seizures strike without warning, triggering emotionally wrenching and physically devastating episodes. Each episode grows more severe, threatening her life with every occurrence. If preventative measures aren't found soon, the next attack could be fatal.

4) How Do You Connect With Your Audience in the Beginning of the Movie?
A. Relatability: Taylor is an introvert but must give a speech in front of a large group at her sister’s wedding. She loves her sister but hates her sister’s new husband – must play nice even though he’s a dick. In hospital, doesn’t like being pushed around by the system but must deal with it. Gets moved into a “roomie” situation but is in no mood to be social.

B. Intrigue: What is Taylor’s mysterious disorder? What happened with Sydney and Christopher? What happened with Aaron and Taylor?

C. Empathy: We learn that Taylor’s sister – who was also her best friend – has died. Taylor’s been patient hoping for answers, then learns she may never get out of the hospital. In a moment of despair, Taylor tries to kill herself. Taylor has a fear of needles but needs regular tests. Later, Taylor is falling in love with her doctor: a relationship doomed to fail.

D. Likability: Even afraid of public speaking, Taylor makes a great toast and the crowd loves it. Sydney loves her deeply; their connection is real and powerful. Taylor is funny, with a dark sense of humor. Taylor bonds with Carrie, makes the facility a nicer place, helps other patients.

5) What is the Gradient of the Change?
EMOTIONAL GRADIENT
Desired Change. Taylor shifts from impassive victim to empowered world-changer, risking everything to save her sister.

Excitement: Riaz arrives, bringing the hope that he can cure her.

Doubt: When Riaz starts asking for details of the lapses, Taylor shuts down: too painful to relive.

Hope: Taylor realizes she can change her past during lapses… which means she might be able to figure out how to save her sister. Carrie and Taylor begin forming a plan.

Discouragement: Taylor tells Riaz she can change the past, he doesn’t believe her. Her condition worsens, forcing the doctors to consider medically neutralizing her emotions. Carrie dies, leaving Taylor alone.

Courage: Taylor knows now that one more lapse will kill her, but she’s prepared to do everything she can to save Sydney. She lapses, and when Sydney refuses to speak to her, she convinces Aaron to pursue his feelings for her sister.

Triumph: Taylor wakes up in the hospital… but she’s reset the timeline. Sydney is alive, and she’s broken up with Christopher. Taylor’s new life – not waiting for things to be perfect but taking action.

ACTION GRADIENT
SETUP
• Taylor is trapped in hospital with undiagnosed seizure disorder, grieving the death of her sister.
• Learning she’s no closer to answers after a year of this, Taylor attempts suicide.
• Strove assigns an unfiltered, incorrigible old woman named Carrie as Taylor’s new roommate.
• Strove brings world-renowned brain-specialist Riaz to help Taylor – her last chance.

JOURNEY
• Riaz approaches Taylor’s treatment unlike any other doctor, but Taylor resists.
• Taylor shuts down when Riaz asks about what she experiences during the lapses.
• Riaz convinces Taylor to work through the trauma with him.
• Taylor shares the story starting with Christopher and leading up to Sydney’s death.
• In a lapse, Taylor changes her past, returning without the life-long scar on her arm.
• Riaz can’t believe this, and Taylor starts to pull away from him.
• Carrie believes Taylor, who is now convinced she might be able to save Sydney.
• Taylor and Carrie try to find the best time for Taylor to lapse.
• Carrie dies before the day arrives, pushing Taylor into another lapse.
• In this lapse, Taylor tries to warn Sydney, but Sydney gets pissed that Taylor is disparaging Christopher.
• When she revives, Riaz wants to put her on medications to prevent any further lapses, even if it turns her into a Zombie. Taylor refuses.
• Riaz arrives to say goodbye, with the repaired teacup, but discovers Carrie and Taylor’s “plan” – says she won’t survive another lapse.
• Riaz begs Taylor to take the medication, professes his love.
• Taylor kisses him, but says she has to try – she goes into another lapse.
• In the lapse, she tries to call Sydney, but Sydney is still angry about what Taylor said and keeps hanging up.
• Taylor instead convinces Aaron to act on his feelings for Sydney, knowing that they had a connection neither acted on because of her.

PAYOFF
• Taylor comes to in the hospital—thinking she has failed—then sees Aaron and Sydney waiting for her.
• Sydney broke up with Christopher, which means there will be no car crash, which means Taylor’s walking into a new future.
• Taylor finds Carrie and convinces her to get screened for cancer early enough that it’s caught and treated.
• Carrie and Taylor become roommates, and Taylor takes all the opportunities she previously passed on…
• But she’s still pining for Riaz (who’s full name she can’t remember), who’s somewhere in London since he never came to America to treat her.
• At Carrie’s “cancer-free” celebration, Strove arrives, bringing Riaz as his guest (b/c Carrie asked him to).
• Taylor and Riaz “meet” again, and the spark is still there.

CHALLENGE/WEAKNESS GRADIENT

Challenge: Starting the diagnosis process over from the beginning with a new doctor.
Weakness: Taylor is attracted to Riaz.

Challenge: Getting Taylor to confront her trauma / determine the link to the lapses.
Weakness: Taylor resists being vulnerable, feels she’s doomed.

Challenge: If she can go back to the right moment, Taylor might be able to save Sydney.
Weakness: But… one more lapse will likely kill her.

Challenge: Taylor lapses and must find a way to reach Sydney and change the past before she runs out of time.
Weakness: Taylor’s body is dying.

Challenge: Taylor “dies” in the lapse—but manages to change the past, resetting the timeline.
Weakness: Taylor saved Sydney, but she’s lost her love interest in Riaz.

6) Transformational Structure of your story:

ACT 1

Opening:
Taylor gives the maid of honor toast at her sister Sydney’s wedding to Christopher.
We see the love between Taylor and Sydney, the friendship between Aaron and Taylor, and realize neither of them like Christopher.
But then Taylor’s world seems to get too bright and she is crippled by a terrible pain–
Taylor wakes up in the medical facility she’s been living in for a year.
We learn the wedding was just a memory or hallucination Taylor experienced during a seizure or “lapse.”
Dr. Strove explains that her lapses are getting increasingly dangerous, and that Taylor’s body is starting to fail.
But when Taylor learns that she may never get out of this medical facility, she loses all hope.

Inciting Incident:
Taylor tries to commit suicide but is saved by Dr. Strove.
When Taylor recovers enough to go back to her room, she discovers she has a new roommate: Carrie.
We find out Carrie is here as a favor to Strove.
Carrie and Taylor start to bond, despite Taylor’s resistance.
Taylor has another lapse, reliving Christopher announcing his and Sydney’s engagement.
This lapse almost kills her. Taylor is running out of time.

END OF ACT 1 Turning Point:
Strove introduces Taylor to world-renowned neurodiagnostic epileptologist, Riaz (his full name is complicated).
Taylor doesn’t want to start over with yet another doctor, but Strove tells her: If Riaz can’t find a way to help her, no one can. Strove leaves.

ACT 2

Reaction:
Carrie sees Taylor is clearly scared after this news.
Taylor is frustrated by feeling powerless in her life, so Carrie challenges her to do something about it.
Taylor has her first session with Riaz and finds him charming and disarming.
With Carrie’s encouragement, Taylor breaks out her paints and starts painting a mural on her wall.
Riaz asks Taylor about what she experiences during the lapses and Taylor shuts down and ends the session.
Taylor plays cards with Carrie in the game room—and learns the residents think of her as a rebellious hero and want her to paint the game room too.

The Plan:
Riaz changes tactics with Taylor—for their next session he cooks for her in the facility’s kitchen.
They bond over the process and Taylor opens up about the first three lapses, telling him about Sydney’s disasterous relationship with Christopher.
Riaz theorizes her lapses seem to be moments that Taylor regrets not having said or done something to protect Sydney.
They discover that each lapse takes up the same amount of time as the “memory.”
Taylor comes back, giddy from a session, and Carrie realizes she’s falling in love with Riaz. Taylor tries to deny it, but can’t.
Carrie confronts Taylor about an unfinished painting. Taylor says she’ll finish it when life gets back to normal, but Carrie urges her to live life now.
Riaz hooks Taylor up ton an EEG while she describes lapse four and five: Christopher cheating on Sydney and Sydney telling Taylor she’s pregnant.
Riaz reacts to the stories, incensed on Sydney’s behalf, and confused that Taylor never told Sydney about Christopher’s cheating.
When Riaz asks what happened to the baby, Taylor says it hadn’t been born yet, it died in the crash with Sydney—
The EEG goes nuts and Taylor can feel a lapse coming on. She instinctively takes Riaz’s hand, and somehow she prevents the lapse.
On the way back to her room, Taylor overhears Strove telling Carrie, “Keeping the truth from her isn’t protectin her, it’s protecting you.”
Carrie storms off to the game room and Taylor follows her, unsettled—
Carrie starts laughing at something one of the residents says, but then she starts coughing, and cannot stop.
Taylor panics, rushing to her side, but her fear brings on another–
LAPSE: Taylor goes back to a childhood fourth-of-july, and this time she doesn’t fall into the fire.

Midpoint:
When Taylor comes out of the lapse, she realizes her arm is no longer scarred from the burns. She’s changed her past.

ACT 3

Rethink:
Taylor tells Riaz this, but he doesn’t believe her, thinks she’s delusional from the seizure.
Riaz wants to medicate Taylor so that her emotions cannot trigger another lapse—but it would effectively turn her into a zombie.
Taylor convinces him to hold off—she managed to prevent a lapse once, maybe she can do so again.
Taylor finds Carrie in the ICU – she is dying of lung cancer. Carrie apologizes for not telling her, she thought she’d have more time.
Carrie moves back to their room—she’s determined to live her life until the end… she asks about Taylor and Riaz.
Taylor hesitates, fearing Carrie will think she’s crazy: but then she tells Carrie everything.
Carrie is skeptical at first, but Taylor convinces her. Carrie asks her what she’s going to do about this?
Taylor realizes: if she can change her own past, maybe she can change Sydney’s fate, too.
But she’s only got one more shot at this; if she lapses again, Riaz will put her on medication.

New Plan:
Taylor and Carrie try to figure out the lapses and if Taylor can control where she goes.
They discover that the episodes correspond to time of day as well as duration in the present time.
And then they realize the episodes line up perfectly in cycles of 84 days.
Carrie says it’s like a mobius strip: Every lapse takes Taylor to a date that’s a multiple of 84 days back from the present moment.
Riaz and Taylor have another session. Taylor describes the sixth lapse when she discovers Sydney and Aaron share an obvious connection.
Riaz cooks dinner for Taylor. It’s unexpectedly intimate, and Taylor realizes Riaz is falling for her, too.
Taylor goes back to her room. Carrie is gone. Taylor finds her in the ICU, her condition is worsening rapidly.
Carrie gives Taylor a letter (for later) and her pendant necklace with the motto: “keep fucking going” inside.
Taylor stays with Carrie until she dies.
Numb, Taylor returns to her room, but when she notices the unfinished painting of Carrie, she breaks and lapses–
Taylor finds herself in a café with Sydney. She freaks out, telling Sydney to leave Christopher before he destroys her life. Sydney is pissed!
Taylor wakes up on the floor of her room with Riaz working a defibrillator over her naked chest—panicking.
We find out she flatlined twice. Seeing she’s alive, Riaz gathers her in his arms, crying.
Strove sees this and pulls Riaz out of the room.

END OF ACT 2 Turning Point:
Dominique helps Taylor into her bed as Taylor hears them fighting in the hall.
Strove orders Riaz to pack his things, he wants him on the first flight back to London.
Taylor passes out.

ACT 4

New Plan:
Taylor comes to, groggy, to find Riaz reading her and Carrie’s notes.
He’d come to say goodbye, but he’s horrified that Carrie would feed into Taylor’s delusions like this.
Taylor tries to explain about the cycling over the same 84 days like a mobius strip.
Riaz says even if it were true, Taylor won’t make it to their “perfect opportunity,” she’s almost guaranteed to lapse before then, and it will kill her.
Riaz begs her to take the medication, he’s willing to give up his medical license to be with her.
They share a kiss, then Taylor says she loves him, too, which is why they can’t be together – she won’t ruin his life like that.
She feels a lapse coming on and tells him she’ll never forget him.
He realizes what she’s planning too late—she lapses.

Climax:
And finds herself walking with Aaron, on the way to pick up takeout.
Taylor can hear Riaz calling to her distantly, but she ignores him.
Taylor calls Sydney on her cell, but Sydney is still angry about what Taylor said at the café and hangs up on her.
Aaron asks what’s wrong? Taylor tells him she can see the future, and knows he’ll fall in love with her sister. When he winces, she realizes he’s already fallen in love. She urges him to tell Sydney, to speak before it’s too late.
Taylor staggers on the pavement, knows she’s dying.
She takes Aaron’s phone and dials Sydney, handing the phone back to him before passing out.

Resolution:
Taylor wakes up in a hospital, thinking she’s failed.
But then she sees Sydney and Aaron! Sydney has broken up with Christopher, and the timeline is reset.
As soon as she can, Taylor finds Carrie and convinces her to get a cancer screening, then supports Carrie through the treatment.
ONE YEAR LATER: Carrie and Taylor are now roommates, throwing a “cancer-free” party.
All their friends and family are there, and Taylor offers a toast, “To Carrie, the amazing, unstoppable force that taught me to live life now.”
Strove arrives late… with a guest: Riaz.
Riaz doesn’t remember Taylor but agrees readily when she asks him for help in the kitchen.
It’s clear there’s a spark of attraction between them, and possibly… a future.

7) How are the “Old Ways” Challenged?
A. Challenge through Questioning
Taylor hates their bland room, Carrie challenges her to do something about it. Taylor starts, then hesitates, “What if I screw it up?” Carrie says, "Don’t be an idiot. Making mistakes is part of figuring things out.” Taylor begins to reflect on the possibility that mistakes can lead to growth rather than define her.

When Taylor resists opening up, Riaz asks, “What if sharing your story made things better instead of worse?” Taylor considers this, and as she starts to open up, she realizes the power of vulnerability, and how it can foster connection.

When Taylor explains why she never told Sydney that Christopher was cheating on her, Riaz asks, "What’s worse—Sydney knowing the truth or staying with someone who’s hurting her?" This shifts Taylor’s focus from the immediate discomfort of honesty to the long-term consequences of silence.

B. Challenge by Counterexample
Taylor learns Carrie is dying from cancer and is angry that Carrie hid this from her until Riaz reminds her that she kept Christopher’s infidelity from Sydney. The reversal forces Taylor to empathize with Sydney, helping her see the selfishness of her silence.

When Carrie apologizes for not telling Taylor that she’s dying of cancer, Taylor helps Carrie forgive herself for a “hurting Taylor” by not telling her she was dying, not realizing she’s also giving herself permission to let go of her own guilt. This external interaction becomes an internal lesson.

Instead of letting the past play out as it did, Taylor jumps over the fire and avoids getting burned. Taylor realizes that she is not powerless, and that her choices do matter.

Taylor sees Carrie living a fulfilling, happy life despite her circumstances being far from perfect. Taylor realizes that waiting for “the perfect moment” isn’t necessary for a meaningful life.

C. Challenge by "Should Work, But Doesn't"
Taylor blames her medical condition for why she hasn’t finished her painting. Carrie challenges her: You’re alive now. Don’t waste the time you’ve got. Taylor begins to question whether her condition is really the thing holding her back—or if it’s her fear of failure.

Taylor is used to being able to deflect with humor, but her humor and sarcasm aren’t enough to shield her from someone like Riaz, who truly sees her and refuses to let her hide. Riaz’s patience and persistence render her usual defenses ineffective, leaving her emotionally vulnerable despite herself.

When Strove wants to medicate Taylor to prevent seizures, condemning her to a half-life, Taylor asks Riaz what she should do. He says, “I can’t tell you what to do, Taylor. This is your life. What do you think you should do?" Taylor feels lost without clear direction but begins to understand that no one else can make her decisions for her. This forces her to engage with her own agency, even if it’s uncomfortable.

D. Challenge through Living Metaphor
A Teacup With a Crack
During a session with Riaz, Taylor picks up one of Riaz’s teacups with a visible crack running through it. She makes light of the imperfection, much like she deflects her own vulnerabilities. As Riaz probes a painful memory, Taylor fiddles with the cup, avoiding his gaze. Her grip tightens as the conversation gets more uncomfortable, symbolizing the emotional pressure she’s under. Riaz says something like: "You can’t keep pretending everything’s fine, Taylor. Sooner or later, something’s going to–" She squeezes the cup too hard, and it breaks in her hand, spilling tea and cutting her palm. This action reinforces the metaphor: Taylor needs to address her emotional cracks before they lead to greater harm. The cracked cup represents Taylor’s vulnerability—her surface is intact, but the pressure she’s under is making her fragile. She doesn’t fully open up yet, but the living metaphor lingers in her mind, mirroring her own emotional state. Then, later in Act 2: As he’s leaving, Riaz gives her the teacup mended with gold (Kintsugi) – symbolizing the beauty of healing and the strength found in embracing one’s imperfections.

An Unfinished Painting
The unfinished painting becomes a physical representation of Taylor’s life “on hold.” It was the painting she was working on when she dropped out, and we find out her teacher criticized it for being too prosaic and not edgy enough. It’s a beautiful figure bathed in warm light, but the features haven’t been defined yet. Taylor avoids finishing it because she’s afraid anything she does to it will only make it worse. She pretends she can’t focus on painting until her medical condition is resolved, but that’s an excuse. The painting is physically present, taking up space in their shared room but untouched—just like Taylor’s potential. As Taylor starts to grow emotionally, she begins to rework the painting, using Carrie as her model, seated in front of the window in their room. This act becomes symbolic of her decision to stop waiting for life to align perfectly and instead embrace the messy, imperfect process. Carrie sits for Taylor as she works on the painting, offering encouragement. This could represent their growing bond and Carrie’s role in Taylor’s healing. While she’s working on the painting, Carrie has her coughing-fit and Taylor experiences a serious lapse. She recovers, but learns Carrie is dying. In a climactic moment, Taylor finishes the painting. Riaz later sees the finished painting and comments on how it feels “alive.” Taylor sees it through his eyes and starts to believe she could have a future as an artist after all.

“Dead” Plant
Taylor has kept the plant Aaron brought her in the hospital, but she’s failed to water it regularly and now it’s brown and wilted, she thinks it’s dead. When Carrie moves in, she finds it in a corner and Taylor tells her the story behind the plant, then tells her to go ahead and throw it out—Taylor’s never been good at keeping things alive, that was Sydney’s talent. Carrie waters it anyway, and over time the plant begins to recover. She points it out, “see? It wasn’t doomed, just needed a little love and attention.” Then, once Carrie is moved to ICU for her end-stage cancer treatment, Taylor takes over watering the plant and one day she discovers tiny blooms on the plant.

8) How are You Presenting Insights through Profound Moments?
A. Action delivers insight
Action: Riaz pulls up a chair and asks, “What’s the one thing you wish someone understood about what you’re going through?” Taylor tries to brush it off with a sarcastic remark, but Riaz waits patiently. His willingness to sit with the silence forces her to respond honestly, even if reluctantly.
Insight: Vulnerability builds connection. Riaz is not here to lecture but to listen.

Action: Riaz notices the old friendship bracelet Taylor’s wearing on her burned arm. She tries to brush it off, but Riaz presses gently for the story. Taylor finds herself telling him about Sydney and her as little kids, how Sydney made the bracelet for her after she fell in the fire.
Insight: Love and loss are intertwined, but they give life meaning.

Action: Taylor complains about the room and Carrie challenges her to take action. Instead of dismissing the idea, Taylor pulls out some paint from her personal belongings. Together, Taylor and Carrie transform their room into something vibrant and personal. The process itself (sharing stories, making a mess) bonds them, and the end result makes the space feel more like home.
Insight: Taylor has the power to affect her circumstances, even if it’s in small ways.

B. Conflict delivers insight
Conflict: Taylor tells Carrie in a heated moment that she doesn’t need a new friend. Carrie responds: “Closing yourself off from other people doesn’t just protect you from grief, it deprives you of love, and love… that’s the whole ballgame, kid.”
Insight: Love gives life meaning.

Conflict: Taylor shatters the vial of medicine Riaz wants her to take to save her life but render her numb.
Insight: Taylor is ready to live her life now.

Conflict: Riaz tells Taylor he has to stop being her doctor.
Insight: Riaz is falling in love with Taylor, too.

C. Irony delivers insight
Irony: Taylor and Riaz share an intimate moment, which leads to Riaz pulling back and calling her “Ms. Donlan.”
Insight: Riaz pulls back emotionally, in an effort to curtail his own budding feelings.

Irony: Taylor hates the lapses for destroying her life, but they become the tool that makes it possible for her to save Sydney.
Insight: Sometimes the very thing we think is a curse ends up being a blessing.

Irony: Riaz identifies the medication that can save Taylor’s life, but she rejects it.
Insight: Taylor has a purpose now, and she has to see it through, even if it costs her everything.

Irony: Taylor gets the strength to face Carrie’s death from asking Carrie for advice.
Insight: It’s okay to lean on others, you don’t have to face trials alone.

9) What are the Most Profound Lines of the Movie?
Riaz: “When I look at you, I see the woman I’m falling in love with, not the patient I’m failing.”
Meaning: said at the height of emotion.

Riaz: “That was when I thought we had time.”
Meaning: Built over time, goes from their casual first meeting, “don’t worry, we have time,” to the excitement of their new feelings, “I’m glad we’ve got time.” To this last realization that Taylor is dying, “That was when I thought we had time…”

Taylor: “I didn’t think I had anything left to lose.”
Meaning: built over time, goes from annoyed dismissal, “it’s not like I have anything to lose,” to tentative excitement, “why not? What have I got to lose?” to this bittersweet goodbye, acknowledging that Riaz is the most important person left in her life.

Sydney: You’re gonna be okay. Taylor: I know I am.
Meaning: said at the height of emotion – Taylor has just survived an incredible ordeal that no one but her is even aware of, but now that she’s survived it, she knows she’ll be able to handle anything life throws at her from now on.

10) How Do You Leave Us With A Profound Ending?
A. Express the Profound Truth: At the end, Taylor is living her life as an active participant, having saved Sydney, Carrie, and herself. And now, free from the ethical concerns of doctor/patient, Taylor is free to form a real relationship with Riaz.

B. The Change: Taylor has grown into an active, courageous woman who risks life and love to take charge of her story. She not only saves her sister’s life, but also commits to fully engaging with her own life moving forward.

C. Payoffs: Answers to: Can Taylor save Sydney? Will Sydney and Aaron end up together? Will Carrie survive her cancer? Will Taylor embrace her life and purpose? Will Taylor and Riaz end up together?

D. Surprising, But Inevitable: All the setups—from the Mobius loop pattern to Carrie’s influence—point to Taylor going into a lapse and saving Sydney, even though it will kill her. Her final act is the ultimate expression of her journey from passivity to agency. It’s surprising, then, when instead of dying, she lives and makes the most of her life.

E. Parting Image/Line: Taylor offers a toast at Carrie’s cancer-free party, confidently addressing the crowd with humor and warmth—a far cry from her awkward maid of honor speech at the beginning. “To Carrie, the amazing, unstoppable force who taught me that, ready or not, life is happing now.” And immediately after this, Strove brings Riaz to Carrie’s party and Taylor and Riaz meet. Riaz doesn’t remember Taylor, but she still remembers him from the previous timeline… maybe says something like “You remind me of someone I used to know.” He could ask, “Uhh… like, an ex or…?” She could say something about not getting the chance to find out. They have a clear spark of a connection, then Riaz, asks, smiling: “So… what’s your story?”

~ end

[Mark Roeder]

HI Jennifer,

Do you want to exchange feedback on the profound map?

Thanks,
Mark

[Jennifer Quintenz-Berry]

Yes, thank you Mark! I just got back and organized, only now saw this. Is it too late for you to trade drafts?

Best,
Jenn Q
jennquintenz@gmail.com

[Mark Roeder]

It’s not too late. I’m looking forward to reading yours and I’ll start doing your feedback soon.

You can email me the feedback whenever it’s ready.

Thanks,
Mark
riippedwriter@yahoo.com

[Mark Roeder]

Mark Roeder’s Profound Map Version 1

What I learned doing this assignment is how to create a profound map. I think the transformational structure feels better to me now, by adding an insight into it, that Rosemary now understands her panda son Kyo as if he’s speaking English, and removing something else.

TITLE: PANDEMONIUM

WRITTEN BY: Mark Roeder

1. What is Your Profound Truth?

Instead of judging creatures by their features, let them show what’s special inside.

2. What is the Transformational Journey?


Old Ways: Suspicious. Paranoid. Judgmental. Thinks all pandas are disgusting, lazy creatures. Scientific in a cold, heartless way. Controlling. Loner

Journey: Rosemary goes from a cold hearted panda hater who tries to kill her own panda son to a caring mother who fights for her baby panda, teams up with him and sacrifices her life for his.

New ways: Supportive. Fights for her panda no matter what. Part of a team. Caring. Good mother. Insightful. Loves her panda with all her heart. Trusting

Transformational Logline: A veterinarian repulsed by the pandas she artificially inseminates gives birth to a panda, finds out it’s an alien creation and teams up with her panda to stop a hidden alien agenda.

3. Who are Your Lead Characters?


Change Agent: Blaze

Blaze’s vision: Rosemary’s panda, Kyo, the first full panda born from a human, is the Promised Panda that will stop the alien panda invasion. Blaze leads an army of women who have been abducted and experimented on by the pandas. He believes Rosemary must protect Kyo and join them in their battle with the alien pandas.

Transformable Character: Rosemary


Betraying Character: Lena Zu, a warrior on Blaze’s team who doesn’t believe Kyo is the Promised Panda and can’t get over her prejudice against pandas after they experimented on her.

Oppression: The alien panda invasion

4. How Do You Connect With Your Audience in the Beginning of the Movie?

A. Relatability: Rosemary has to clean up after the pandas, and they are disgusting creatures she feels.
Her job and insurance refuse to pay her for the time she was in the coma after being bitten by a panda with rabies even though it happened at work.

B. Intrigue: Rosemary believes the pandas have a hidden agenda against her. She has nightmares she’s abducted by pandas and experimented on. Finds herself munching on bamboo. Gives birth to a panda. Incisor, a scarred giant panda, always watches her, growls at her, and pounces on her. She’s rescued/kidnapped by Blaze.

C. Empathy: Rosemary has to artificially inseminate screaming pandas she’s repulsed by. Pandas crap on her from branch. They refuse to do anything she tries to get them to do, like mate. A baby panda dies under her watch, and she’s blamed for it.

She has to live at the zoo like an animal because her house went into foreclosure since the insurance didn’t pay her for time in a coma. She’s scared of getting attacked in her sleep and can’t go home to U.S. She’s stuck in China and doesn’t like it. She’s afraid to get bitten again. She’s scared the pandas have a hidden agenda. She’s horrified she gave birth to a panda. She’s pounced on by Incisor and his panda community. Kidnapped by Blaze.

D. Likability:

Rosemary takes care of a panda’s wound even though she’s disgusted by it. A little girl gets trapped by pandas and clawed by one, and Rosemary protects her.

The press dubs her Mother Rosemary, the miracle mother. People come from all over the world to see her and Kyo, her baby panda.

Kyo likes her. She can’t go through with killing Kyo. A woman warrior on Blaze’s team worships her for being the mother of the Promised Panda.

5. What is the Gradient of the Change?

EMOTIONAL GRADIENT: Forced Change. Rosemary is forced to go from denying she had a panda son and trying to get rid of it to fighting for him no matter what.

We watch her go through these stages:

Denial: Rosemary doesn’t believe she gave birth to a panda.

Anger: She attempts to kill her baby panda

Bargaining: Bargains with Blaze to let her go so she doesn’t have to protect him.

Depression: Has nightmares about pandas, can’t sleep. Gives up.

Acceptance: Fight for her baby panda, no matter what. Teams up with him to fight the invasion.

ACTION GRADIENT

Setup:

Rosemary doesn’t believe she gave birth to a panda. It’s impossible. It doesn’t make sense. She accuses people of messing with her head, playing a dirty trick on her, stealing her real baby and replacing it with a panda. There’s no way it could be hers.

Rosemary attempts to kill her baby panda, a creature she thinks is an abomination, but can’t go through with it.

Journey:

Rosemary pleads she wasn’t going to do it. Swears to Kyo she won’t do that again even if he is a panda. Bargains with Blaze to let her go.

Rosemary has nightmares about pandas, can’t sleep, watches Blaze’s doc that showed her get experimented on by Incisor and the alien pandas. Gives up. Won’t get bit again.

Payoff:

Rosemary decides to be as good a mother as she can, and fight for her baby panda no matter what. She teams up with him, and realizes he has free will, to make his own choice to fight the aliens or join them.

CHALLENGE/WEAKNESS GRADIENT

Challenge: She gave birth to a panda
Weakness: She’s suspicious

Challenge: She gave birth to a creature she thinks is an abomination.
Weakness: Reluctant. Can’t go through with killing it.

Challenge: Giant pandas pounce on her, and she’s rescued/kidnapped by Blaze, who takes her panda also. He says her panda is an alien creation, that he’s the promised panda who’s the key to stopping an invasion and she needs to protect him.
Weakness: Judgmental against pandas, scientific in a cold, heartless way, can’t come to grips with love she feels for her son and if it’s really hers if it’s an alien creation.

Challenge: Fails final test to join Blaze’s team and can’t even see Kyo.
Weakness: gives up.

Challenge: Kyo sends signal to trigger invasion. The alien pandas attack.
Weakness: Has to learn to trust her panda, and that she can’t control him.

6. What is the transformational Structure of your story?

Act 1: 

Opening: Rosemary artificially inseminates pandas she is repulsed by. She reluctantly does her job. Incisor, a scarred giant panda, seems vicious toward her, and she believes they have a hidden agenda against her.

Inciting Incident: Rosemary gives birth to a panda.

Turning Point: When she tries to kill Kyo, her own panda son, she’s pounced on by Incisor, the scarred giant panda and his panda community and rescued/kidnapped by Blaze.

Act 2: 

New plan: to escape Blaze and his team (and Kyo).

Plan in action: She escapes, and discovers Kyo stowed away with her.

Midpoint Turning Point. Lena Zu tries to kill Kyo, and Rosemary saves Kyo by killing Lena.

Act 3: 

Rethink everything: Rosemary doesn’t understand why she killed Lena to saved Kyo. Could he be the promised panda?

New plan: Rosemary decides to join Blaze’s team, but he only takes her son Kyo, and she has to pass dangerous tests to join. Blaze trains her to fight alien pandas and protect her son. Her bond with Kyo develops. In one test, she fails to protect Kyo from a rock that injures his jaw, and discovers he can regenerative his teeth instantly, and Rosemary believes Kyo is the Promised Panda now, but she fails the final test. They won’t let her join now. She can’t even see Kyo.

Rosemary takes Kyo anyway and discovers she can now understand his chirps and groans as clear as English.

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: Kyo signals Incisor to attack the humans. The alien pandas kill millions of men and abduct millions of women.

Act 4: 

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Rosemary fights her son Kyo, but then decides to fight for him no matter what. Incisor, the scarred giant panda who inseminated Rosemary, claims to be Kyo’s father. Kyo has a dilemma, mother or father, panda or human. Incisor attacks Blaze, and Kyo protects Blaze and attacks Incisor. Rosemary and Kyo team up to stop Incisor and his panda army. Rosemary sacrifices her life to save Kyo’s. But Kyo, the promised panda, nibbles Rosemary to regenerate her back to life.

Resolution: By defeating Incisor, Kyo’s father, Kyo becomes the new leader and has the other pandas step down. At an animal hospital, Rosemary wrestles with Kyo, playing. A human’s rough with a panda, and Kyo growls. Rosemary and Kyo protect the other panda against the abuser, who’s forced to train with Rosemary and Kyo, who lead tours of forests with pandas in them and teach people not to discriminate against pandas, no easy task after many lost loved ones in the battle against the pandas.

7. How are the “Old Ways” Challenged?

A. Challenge through Questioning

After a baby panda dies under Rosemary’s watch at the zoo, a zookeeper says “Maybe the baby panda died because you didn’t care about it. You didn’t show it love.”

After a panda poops on Rosemary from a tree and she rants about how pandas only eat and poo, a zoo worker points out how good it is that pandas disperse seeds by rolling around and then climbing trees and swimming and how helpful that is.

Someone at the zoo counters her panda prejudice by saying “They can climb trees better than you.”

A woman warrior on Blaze’s team says “Giant pandas at least have a reason to abandon a cub if they give birth to more than one. They don’t have sufficient milk or energy to care for two, so they focus on the attentions of their strongest cub. You only had one, and you tried to kill it. A true monster you are.”

B. Challenge by Counterexample

Rosemary inseminates pandas without caring, and gets inseminated by pandas.

Blaze is a counterexample by believing Rosemary’s panda is the promised panda that can stop the invasion. Hs vision is a counterexample to her belief that they are all the same disgusting, hateful creatures.

Rosemary traps pandas in a cage. They put her in a cage.

C. Challenge by “Should Work, But Doesn’t”

Rosemary’s boss tells her to put one to sleep and she euthanizes it and kills it, but it turns out she was just supposed to put it to sleep for the night and not euthanize it.

D. Challenge through Living Metaphor

Syringe to euthanize pandas = scientific, cold hearted ways.

A panda stomps on her syringe, which symbolizes the old ways aren’t working anymore.

A wolf attacks a bear cub, and the mother bear attacks and kills the wolf. Blaze tells Rosemary she can’t be a lone wolf. She needs to be a bear, a mother bear, protective of her cub.

Snow covered bamboo forest = cold hearted ways.

Gloves = scientific cold hearted way. She won’t touch a panda with bear hands, not even her son Kyo.

Panda cage = controlling.

8. How are You Presenting Insights through Profound Moments?


Action: After Kyo sent the signal to trigger the alien panda invasion, a warrior aims a gun at Kyo. Rosemary kicks it out of her hand. It hits a tree. A branch falls off onto a man attacking Kyo. She jumps on the man to fight him off.

Insight: Fights for her son Kyo no matter what

Action: Rosemary helps a sprawled Kyo up. He tucks his head in and she gently rolls him through encircling pandas. One claws Blaze, and Rosemary throws it off. A panda drags a woman to a ship. Kyo jump kicks the panda and they help the woman up, barely conscious, who joins them in their fight.

Insight: Part of a team

Action: An alien panda blasts Kyo with a wave gun that obliterates what’s in its path and Rosemary steps in the way. It kills her.

Insight: Supportive/Loves her panda with all her heart

Action: Rosemary pulls her son Kyo off Incisor when he’s tearing Incisor to shreds with his claws.

Insight: Insightful/Good mother/caring/it would be damaging for Kyo to kill his own father/even Incisor has something special inside him.

B. Conflict delivers insight

Conflict: Rosemary finds a jar with a panda/human hybrid in it in Blaze’s camper. She accuses Blaze of experimenting and putting the panda inside of her. Blaze and Lean Zu make her admit she’s had nightmares of pandas experimenting on her, and Blaze shows her footage he made of his wife getting experimented on by pandas.

Insight: Pandas experimented on Rosemary and inseminated her.

Conflict: Blaze takes Rosemary to a globe shaped lab where pandas experiment on a woman. Blaze tries to rescue her, but the pandas see Rosemary and the globe rises into the air.

Insight: Rosemary’s son is an alien creation. All pandas are aliens.

Conflict: Rosemary fights Kyo, then stops, lets him scratch her. Protects him from humans to give him a chance to show who he is. Incisor attacks Blaze and Kyo protects Blaze by fighting Incisor.

Insight: Insightful/Trusting. Rosemary believes Kyo is the promised Panda.

C. Irony delivers insight

Irony: Blaze filmed the pandas inseminating Rosemary. He didn’t stop it because he believed she would be the mother of the promised panda. It was a glorious experience for Blaze, while Rosemary was suffering.

Insight: Blaze believed Rosemary was destined to be the mother of the Promised Panda

Irony: Rosemary cooks Kyo bamboo soup. He chirps and she hears him say “soup stinks.” Rosemary says “you smell worse. Wait, I understood you.” (She gives up on the dream of joining Blaze’s team and fighting aliens, but she pleases her son Kyo, who slurps his soup.)

Insight: Rosemary understands her son’s alien panda language

Irony: Rosemary decides to be a mother and believes Kyo is the Promised Panda that will stop the invasion, then Kyo sends a signal to trigger the alien panda invasion.

Insight: Kyo was created to trigger the alien panda invasion.

9. What are the Most Profound Lines of the Movie?


“You smell worse.”

Meaning built over multiple scenes. Goes from challenging Rosemary’s panda prejudice to Kyo saying it and her understanding Kyo for the first time.

“Sounds like Chinese to me.”

Meaning built over multiple scenes. Goes from prejudice against Chinese to not understanding Kyo’s chirps and groans to Chinese Warriors commending Rosemary for finally learning Chinese and even understanding Kyo.

“I won’t get bit again.”

Meaning built over multiple scenes. Goes from Rosemary meaning she won’t get bitten by a panda again to meaning she misses Kyo but refuses to get him back because she doesn’t want her heart broken again.

10. How Do You Leave Us With A Profound Ending?

A. Express the Profound Truth: Rosemary knows Kyo’s more than what the alien pandas created him for. She stops fighting him and gives him the chance to show what’s special inside, free will.

Kyo chooses to protect Blaze and fight Incisor, his own father. Rosemary sacrifices her life to save Kyo’s. Kyo nibbles Rosemary to regenerate her back to life, showing what’s special inside, that he’s the Promised Panda.

Kyo becomes the new leader with what’s special inside: he believes humans and pandas can live side by side, can learn to live together. Can stop judging each other. If his mom can do it, anyone can.

B. The Change: Rosemary fights for her panda son Kyo and trusts him to make the right choice even though he triggered the alien invasion that could wipe out the human race. Rosemary becomes part of a team when she teams up with Kyo to fight Incisor, Kyo’s father and his invaders. Rosemary becomes a good mother, sacrificing her life for her son’s.

C. Payoffs: Blaze’s vision that Kyo is the promised panda is fulfilled. Blaze’s training of Rosemary to protect Kyo is paid off. Rosemary trying to join the team is paid off as she becomes part of the team with Kyo and the others. Blaze and Rosemary passion for each other in training sessions is paid off at the end when Rosemary’s pregnant with his baby.

D. Surprising: Kyo was created to trigger the invasion, and sent the signal for the alien pandas to attack, so it’s surprising when he proves he is the Promised Panda that stops it. Incisor, the scarred panda leader, who artificially inseminated Rosemary, claims to be Kyo’s father. Rosemary sacrificing herself to save Kyo is surprising after trying to kill him earlier, but inevitable as she’s his mother and she’s been trained to protect him no matter what. Kyo nibbling her and bringing her back is surprising but inevitable as he is the promised panda and we’ve seen his teeth regenerate instantly.

5. Parting Image:

Rosemary’s ultrasound shows what’s special inside her now: a fetus. Is it panda? No, it’s a healthy, human fetus.

[Paul Penley]

Paul P’s Skill Mastery Sheet.

What I learned doing this assignment. I had a few breakthroughs doing this assignment as it fills a lot of holes in your story.

1 What is Your Profound Truth?
In order to defeat evil, good men must become the creatures they fear and despise.

Simply ask yourself these questions and then allow the answers to emerge.
A. What is the message I want to get across to the audience? i.
To defeat evil a good man must reach into his worst fears and become something more formidable.
What is beneath that?
Be the savage that protects your family and friends from evil.
And what is beneath that?
Self sacrifice may be the only way to keep your loved ones safe.

B. What shift or change do I want my audience to experience during my movie?
Rise up and battle the evil in your life or it will destroy you.

What is the Transformational Journey?
Johnny and Billy Roper must face and overcome their horrific childhood trauma in order to reach the level of discipline they will need to destroy their captors and escape from “Apache” Purgatory with their souls.

Old Ways: This is the “Problem state.”

First to the gun, ends all problems.
Angels are immortal,only God can kill them.
There is a pecking order in life.
Men go to the Mission to sell their souls and do not return
Gold, women and whiskey are the most important things in an Outlaws life.
Always take care of yourself. No one else will.
Shoot first ask questions later.
God does not care.
The weaker man is an easy target.

Journey: A journey to La Paloma Blanca, a cursed Spanish mission. Those who go there do not return. A physical road to Purgatory and then Hell.

2.
New Ways: “Solution State”

Gold isn’t important.
Family and friends come first.
There is a God.
There is Evil in the world worse than I.
Evil must be battled and contained.
Sometimes a smile works better than a gun. ( irony )
The weaker man must be protected.
Angels are not immortal.

Journey: Trapped in Purgatory, Johnny and what’s left of his outlaw gang discover that they must adapt to this new world and face their deepest fears in order to become worthy of leaving.

TRANSFORMATONAL LOGLINE:
1. Transformable Character with an issue… – Billy Roper
2. …takes a journey that challenges him deeply… – travels to Purgatory (a cursed Spanish mission) in search of his stolen gold.
3. ..and concludes with the transformation.- and must find what’s important to him in order to escape with his soul.

Billy Roper in search of stolen gold finds himself in Purgatory and must find whats important to him in order to escape with his soul.

3. Who are Your Lead Characters?

Change Agents: Lupo / Johnny Roper -The character who represents the vision and who guides, persuades, pushes, or is the motivation for the Transformable Characters making their change.

TRANSFORMABLE CHARACTERS:

Billy Roper – Leader of the Outlaw gang. Billy must face his childhood trauma and do his best to live through the night and escape with his crew.

Adam – Youngest memeber of the Outlaws. Must prove his worth to himself as well as his gang.

Carlo – Must use his humor and wit to manuver his way through Purgatory and keep his friends safe.

Red – Must prove to himself and his dead ancestors that he is worthy and brave to ascend to the Sky World.

Goldie – The sage of the Outlaws must use his experience to keep himself and his Outlaws out of Hell.

The Transformable Character starts as us. They represent the audience. They also have the “Old ways” as their way of dealing with things and they need to change in order to accomplish a goal or resolve a problem that the movie is about.

BETRAYING CHARACTERS:

Red – Sells his soul to one of the Angels in order to regain his vision and heal his body.

Johnny – Has become a double agent. Sold his soul to the Hopi skinwalker and to the Angels in order to gain power. His goal is to destroy the Mission and kill the Fallen Angel that murdered his father.

As our Transformable Characters struggle through the change, there is often one character who can’t make the change and reverts to the Old Ways. Not being able to make the change is a “failure” for that character, so it is natural for them to go against the Transformable Character.

OPPRESSION:
Purgatory – La Paloma Blanca Mission ( the white dove )

Lord Balin ( fallen angel ) – The ruling Fallen Angel of Purgatory, who is recruiting and building an army of Men turned to Demons/Vampires to destroy all of mankind.

The purpose of this force is to create a “pressure-cooker environment” that demands a response.

4. FOUR MAIN WAYS TO CONNECT WITH THE AUDIENCE:

A. Relatability – They Are Us!

Billy – Transformational Character – The youngest of the two Roper brothers.

A. Relatability – He is the youngest of two and feels the pressure to perform in front of his older brother and his father. In our opening scene he is trying to learn from his older brother and can’t quite grasp the lesson We feel for him. He also tries to help his older brother and gets pushed away. Billy is frightened but want’s to help when they find themselves surrounded by Apache. He is told to hide in the rocks. He takes his father’s rifle but is to frightened to shoot. When he finally tries the chamber is empty. Billy watches as his father and brother are thrown against the rocks and defeated by a fallen Angel.

B. Intrigue. At the end of the first scene Billy has watched his father and brother from a hiding place. He has felt useless and afraid to move. Guilt, fear, and hate build as he is called out of his hiding place. He sees his dead father and unconcious brother and is told to leave. 8 year old Billy rides away from the canyon into Apache indian country by himself. What will happen to him?

C. Empathy: Billy is a pleaser. He tries his best with his brother and fails. He is pushed aside when they are attacked and told to hide. Billy grabs his father’s rifle and pulls the trigger ( there isn’t a bullet in the chamber and he gives away his hiding place) trying to save his brother and father. Billy rides away from the scene leaving the only protection he had. He is now vulnerable and alone in a dangerous place with spiritual creatures unknown to him.

D. Likability: Younger Billy tries to help. He tries to protect his brother from his father’s scolding. He vows revenge upon the Angel who killed his father and brother.

Older Billy- The next scene we find Billy late to a bank robbery. He gives a townsperson a warning look instead of shooting him and waves the man away from his fellow outlaws. He helps a gut shot outlaw on to his horse instead of leaving him to die. Billy has grown up and survived. But how?

Johnny – Change Agent – Oldest of the two Roper brothers.

A. Relatability: Johnny is the older brother who is responsible for taking care of his younger brother. He tries to teach him what he knows even if he hasn’t quite got the hang of it himself. He makes mistakes and takes the brunt of his father’s scorn. He will do anything to please his father and repeats his father’s words to make sure he gets the message. He stands side by side with his father when they are surrounded by Apache and shoots to kill an unstoppable foe as his father dies next to him.

B. Intrigue: Johnny is afraid but he takes action and tries to kill the attacking Angel. He vows to protect his little brother. He has honor and courage.

C. Empathy: Johnny is the older brother who is expected to be a man yet must take care of his younger brother. He shouldn’t be in the situation his father has placed him. He does his best to protect Billy and fails.

D. Likability: Younger Johnny makes mistakes and stumbles through things like all young children trying to walk in their father’s footsteps. He does his best to protect Billy before he is knocked out. Billy has been saved from the immediate danger.

Older Johnny still tries to protect his Billy. He gives him clues to survive the Mission and how to escape. He is fearless and determined to save Billy and revenge his father at all costs.

BILLY – The youngest of the two Roper Boys. He does his best to keep up with his father and older brother. He fails and doesn’t understand the lessons beign taught.
He watches a fallen Angel kill his brother and father. He is left to wander in the Apache Badlands.

Johnny – The older of the two Roper boys. He does his best to follw his father’s commands and keep his younger brother in line. He hides his younger brother from harm and then watches his father die. Trying to protect himself and his brother he tries to kill the Angel that murdered his father. He is punished.

B. Intrigue

Billy- How will a young boy survive alone in the Apache Badlands? 18 years later we find Billy and his gang of outlaws in Mexico City robbing a bank. He and his men escape into the desert with a regiment of Mexican Soldiers on their trail. How will they escape?

C. Empathy

Billy – Billy is a fighter who has learned to draw his gun first and ask questions later. He is afraid of heights, selfish, a bit of a cheat and hot headed.

Johnny – Johnny reappears in the second act and saves Billy from a battle he would loose. His main goal is to keep Billy alive and to revenge his father against the Angel who killed him.

D. Likability

Billy – Billy has flaws and a dry sense of humor. He knows what has kept him alive until now. Everything that BIlly knows has changed. We see him try the new ways and fight the Old ways.

Johnny – Billy is the epitomy of what an older brother should be. Tough, smart,with a been there done that type of attitude. He only wants two things now that he’s been reunited with his younger brother. Keep Billy safe and revenge his father.

5. THE THREE GRADIENTS OF CHANGE GRADIENT
1. THE EMOTIONAL GRADIENT
A. The “Forced Change” Emotional Gradient
B. THE “DESIRED CHANGE” EMOTIONAL GRADIENT;

EXCITEMENT: Greed, Billy is excited to get the gold and isn’t worried about a Cursed Mission.
Challenge: He now faces his problems without ammo in his gun.
Weakness: Ignorance, He finds himself in trouble and chooses to use shoot his opponent with his own gun.

DOUBT: EGO, Billy will have to fight for his life. the Angels are real and they are in Hell.
Challenge: Make it through the night without fighting, dying or selling their souls.
Weakness: They don’t understand the rules. The group is beginning to splinter.

HOPE: TheOutlaws hear of a way to escape. Billy has seen enough, they abandon the gold.
Challenge: They must find the tunnels without being discovered.
Weakness: THey fell for a trap. The Outlaws are split up and lost inside the cave system.

DISCOURAGEMENT: FEAR, Billy is captured. Confusion His captor isn’t what he seems and gives BIlly a choice. Die or join him against the Angels.
Challenge: There’s no way they can defeat the Angels and their hordes of demons.
Weakness: Billy doesn’t believe, but he chooses to help. He must die first.

COURAGE: Billy wakes with healed wounds.The Hopi indian has a plan.
Challenge: He joins the fight and challenges his brother to a death match to save one of his outlaws.
Challenge: Keep himself and his outlaw gang alive till morning.
Weakness: Two of his gang memebers are already dead. One has turned to the dark side and there are more Demons than originally mentioned.

TRIUMPH: All is going in Billy’s favor.
Challenge: Fight Through the demons to get to the Angels without dying. Billy must summon his Shape shifting animal.
Weakness: Billy doesn’t know how to kill the Angels. His brother dies in front of him.

GRADIENT 2. THE ACTION GRADIENT
Purpose: To take your characters through a sequence of actions that will naturally produce the change.
Once you’ve selected an Emotional Gradient (forced or desired), then it is time to lay out the actions the characters will take as they go through this journey.
1. What I learned: I learned that my original Profound truth may not be what works best for my story. I’ve had to brainstorm more on what I want to say.

2. What is your Profound Truth and how will it be delivered powerfully in your ending? You were created for a purpose. Hone your skills and leave your mark on the world. or Failing to plan is planning to fail.

3. How do your lead characters (Change Agent and Transformable Characters) come to an end in a way that represents the completed change?
CA – Johnny – Dies leaving his brother with all the tools he needs to suceed in life.
TC – Billy – Succeeds in defeating the Angels after abandoning his gun and staying six steps ahead.

4. What are the setup/payoffs that complete in the end of this movie, giving it deep meaning?
– opening scene Billy fails to learn a lesson.
John Sr. tells his boys, “Failing to plan is planning to fail. Stay six steps ahead if you’re two.”
– Billy watches his father and brother die trying to protect him. His father didn’t have a plan.
– Billy and the Outlaws rob the bank of Mexico. Billy has set up an escape route and leads his gang to safety.
– Billy splits up the Outlaws and plans their reunion in a place no one would go.
– Billy fails to plan ahead as they enter the Mission. The outlaws are trapped.
– Johnny isn’t dead and he saves Billy from a challenge.
– Johnny and Lupo has planned for the day of his brother’s arrival.
– Johnny dies in the fight and tells Billy he made a mistake Lord Balin can’t be defeated.
– Billy is driven to continue the fight and revenge his brother and father.
– Billy overcomes his fear or heights and uses the knot his brother tried to teach him in the opening scene to defeat Lord Balin.
– With Johnny in a coffin, Billy and his surviving Outlaws are allowed to ride out of Hell.
– As Billy’s wagon crosses over the salt wall we see inside Johnny’s coffin. Johnny’s hands begin to twitch. “Six steps if you’re two”

5. How are you designing it to have us see an inevitable ending and then making it surprising when it happens?
– My story makes it clear that “Nobody has ever returned from the Spanish Mission.
– Show that all the characters at the Mission are the souls of their original selves.
– Explain Dante’s Nine Levels of Hell
– The Mission burns – Simulating Hell.
– The Apache keep everyone inside.
– They crossed the river Styx to enter the mission.

6. What is the Parting Image/Line that leaves us with the Profound Truth in our minds?

Inside the coffin we see Johnny’s hand twitch as they cross the wagon crosses over the salt wall. “Six steps ahead if you’re two. Failing to plan is planning to fail.”

Essentially, you are going to brainstorm the actions and counter-actions that fit into the three parts of your Transformational Logline.
SETUP
● Actions fit their normal way of being. JOURNEY
● ● ● ● ●
PAYOFF
What are the final actions that cause us to experience the transformation?
Gradient 3. The Challenge / Weakness Gradient
Purpose: To have your characters confront and solve the weaknesses that would normally keep them from achieving this goal, thus causing a leap in their performance.
UNCOVERING WEAKNESSES
Strangely enough, you need to discover your character’s weaknesses and force them to face them. Remember, it is okay for you to uncover your characters weaknesses. And it is okay for your characters to fail early on when the Old Ways don’t work.
Here’s how to do it:
Step 1. Think about this character. What weaknesses would they naturally have?
The journey is initiated.
Initial actions that fit the journey.
When that doesn’t work, what actions do they take? When that doesn’t work, what actions do they take? Etc.

Step 2. As the story progresses, what weaknesses will show up because the stakes and pressure has increased? These will often be related to the main steps in the movie.
List them this way: Challenge: Weakness:
Next Challenge: Next Weakness:
Next Challenge: Next Weakness:

6. TRANSFORMATIONAL STRUCTURE 4-ACT STRUCTURE:

Act 1:

Opening: Johnny is teaching his younger brother Billy knots, while tending to the horses.

Inciting Incident: Indians/ Attack of BALIN – John Sr. protects his two sons and is mortally wounded. He tells Johnny to watch over his youunger brother. Johnny tries to hide Billy from Balin.

Turning Point: Johnny fires his pistol trying to kill the monsterbefore him. He is trown against the rocks next to his dead father. Billy is allowed to leave.

Act 2:

New plan: Save Billy from the evil of the Angels and their demons. Billy fails and doesn’t listen to Johnny.

Plan in action: Johnny repremands Billy in order to save him from retribution. ( last brotherly warning )

Midpoint Turning Point: Johnny chooses an Angel and takes the bite. ( He has one more bite before turning immmortal. )

Act 3:

Rethink everything: Billy isn’t following Johnny’s lead and is failing.

New plan: Get Billy and his Outlaws out of town. Informs him of the escape tunnels. Hide till morning.

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: Billy and his Outlaws fail to escape and are captured by different factions of the Demon army. Billy is captured by Lupo. Johnny feeds for the first time and gains new insite and streangth to his Angel powers.

Act 4:

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Johnny embraces the new power of the Angels and Lupo has set a plan of action into place to defeat the Angels. He uses his Skinwalker power combined with his Angel powers.

New Plan: The fight is on. Billy, Johnny, Lupo, the Outlaws and the townspeople fight back against the Angels and their depmon army.

Climax: Johnny is mortally wounded saving one of Billy’s outlaws.Billy swears he’ll leave but goes after Lord balin instead.

Ultimate Expression of the conflict.: Johnny dies after giving his brother the tools to survive. Billy takes up his brother’s cause.

Resolution: Billy kills Lord Balin without using his gun.

New staus quo: Billy Kills Balin and his demons freeing the town. Billy and company escape Hell.

7.CHALLENGING THE OLD WAYS
A. Challenge through Questioning.

1. Trying to do something fast isn’t always the best way. Challenge: Slow down, plan your actions and get ahead of the problem.

2. Being quick to the Gun is the easy way to solve a problem. Challenge: Shooting someone is causing more problems. What if you Billy didn’t shoot someone and found another way to solve the problem?

3. The Outlaws who rob the bank got themselves into a mess. Challenge. It wouldn’t have been that way if they would have waited for Billy.

4. Revenge is the norm for killing. Challenge: Revenge doesn’t solve the problem it only extends it.

5. Indiginous People are lower than dogs and shouldn’t be allowed in the Saloon. Challenge: What if the Angels are afraid of what Red is capable of and know that he is a true enemy.

6. Angels and demons are from fairy tales as is Hell. Challenge: What if the stories are true? What if we are all living in Hell?

7. Gold, fortune, fame and becoming immortal is what everyone wants. Challenge: Not if you are trapped in Hell and the cost is your soul.

8. Only good can destroy Evil. Challenge – How evil does one have to be to destroy God’s Fallen Angels.

9. Stereotypes are unspoken social truths. Challenge: What if they are not.

10. Are we victims of our father’s failures? Challenge: What if we can rise above and show our father’s failures were our most valuable lessons.

Remember, the purpose of challenges is to call the Old Way into doubt. By first having us doubt the Old Way, it makes it much easier for us to accept the New Way.
To question something doesn’t mean that it has to be a literal question. It could be a statement like “Something is missing here” or a question like “How is it possible for you to do X and Y at the same time?”
1. Start with the Old Ways that your character is exhibiting.
2. Brainstorm a list of the assumptions, views, and filters that represent the
foundation of the Old Ways.
3. Call the foundation and the Old Ways into question, thus causing doubt
about them.

B. CHALLENGE BY COUNTEREXAMPLE

1. Being quick to the gun solves every challenge.
Counter Example: What if you didn’t have your gun? How would you survive? Smile more? Find another alternative to violence.

2. Women are heartless and self serving beasts more ruthless and deadly then men.
Counter Example: Grace rescues Adam and tries to help him escape.

3. What is Hell? Dante’s Inferno
Counter Example: Hell can be anywhere. A town, a relationship, a person, a desert, a saloon, a home, It’s all in how you perceive it.

4. The child suffers from the inequities of the father.
Counter Example: But what if you learned from your father’s mistakes? What if his failure made you stronger?

5. All Indians are killers.
Counter Example: What if they were trying to save humanity all along. What if the Apache were the gatekeepers to hell and were fighting to keep Hell’s demons and the evil inside?

6. Outlaws only care about themselves.
Counter Example: What if they were just trying to make the lives of their loved ones better and stealing from those who had more wealth than they could possibly need?

7. The Irish are cowards.
Counter Example: The Irish left Ireland because of a the ENglish and a potato famine. They braved the Seas to come to America where things were just as hard.

8. Mankind was a curse on the Angels and a mistake made by God.

Counter Example: Man is not responsible for the Angel’s punishment. Both Man and Angels were given the freedom of choice. Both Mankind and Angels must be held accuntable by good Angels and men.

D. LIVING METAPHORS

1. Old Way – Being first to the gun is the best way to handle a situation.

Challenges:
Example: #1 Billy shoots the Apache when he hears they have killed his men.He never hears why. – They might have heard that they should not go to the Mission.
Example #2 Adam shoots a rattlesnake and spooks Goldie’s horse. Goldie gets throown off. Goldie punishes Adam.
Example #3 Billy shoots Hernandez twice with Hernandez’s own pistol. – Billy suffers the consequences of his actions with Balin and is savesd by Johnny.
Example #4 Grace’s father didn’t fire his weapon and ended up dead. – New way doesn’t always work.
Example #5 Billy tries to kill Lord Turin Almost gets himself and his outlaws killed.

New Way Challenge –
Adam uses iron chain to Kill Lady Lilith – His plan works.
Billy uses a chair to kill the demon Hernandez – It works.
Johnny uses his gun to kill a demon with no effect. He switches to a tomahawk and kills Lilith’s Asian Monk.
Red and Johnny kill Lord Turin with an iron chain.
Billy shoots oil lamps instead of people and starts to burn down the town.
Grace uses oil to burn/kill Lady Lilith.
Billy kills Lord Balin with a iron spike and a slip knot.

2. Old Way – We’re trapped in Hell. “Once you’re in Hell, you’re there until you’re soul is destroyed. (No One leaves Hell)
Example #1 The Mexico City robbery becomes a hell for the Outlaws as they try to escape.
Example #2 They crossed over the river ( Styxx ) on their way to the Mission
Example #3 The Mission is a place where men go to sell thier souls for gold, glory and immortality.
Example #4 They cross over the circle of salt and Apache magic.
Example #5 The Apache keep all who enter inside. ( gate keepers )
Example #6 The Devil’s Canyon is a place where Angels and Gods go to Die.

New Way Challenge:
#1 Dante wrote about 9 levels.
#2 What if the world in which they came from was Hell?
#3 If we can go on to deeper level of Hell why can’t we go back to where we were or choose another level?
#4 They cross over the Salt wall without Apache’s stopping them.
#5 The Demons of the Angel Azizel are in a Hell of their own ( below the Mission in a cage ) and released to fight the Outlaws.
#6 The Mission becomes a burning inferno killing all the evil that resides there.
#7 The townspeople fight against the evil of the Demons and Fallen Angels.

3. Old Way – Killing for Gold, Glory and Immortality is a worthy cause. Killing is evil.

Example #1 Johnny is rewarded for killing Sun
Example #2 Victors are rewarded with power
Example #3 Victors are rewarded with Immortality
Example #4 Killers are rewarded with being able to kill until killed.
Example #5 Survival of the fittest.

NEW WAY CHALLENGE:
#1 Wild Jim fights to save the world from Evil. He isn’t interested in Glory or Gold. His evil tendencies help him defeat evil.
#2 Lupo is an Immortal/ Skinwalker but fights to save his people from the evil of the Angels. He gave up his life to save his people. His evil powers will be used to fight evil.
#3 Johnny becomes immortal to revenge his father and destroy the Evil Angel that killed his father. Gold means nothing to him. He wants the power so he can destroy evil.
#4 Billy finds that no amount of gold, glory can bring his family and loved ones back the dead. He realizes his best way forward is to help his brother and fight trying to kill the Angels.
#5 Killing to end suffering is humane.

4. Old Way – The inequities of the father are felt by their sons.

Example #1 John Sr. failed to plan and his sons will suffer.
Example #2 Grace followed her father’s trail to the Mission and is now a slave to Lady Liltih.
Example #3 Johnny has suffered at the Mission for 18 years trying to find a way to revenge his father.
Example #4 Billy became an outlaw because his father wasn’t there to guide him.
Example #5 The Angels failed their father and were banished forever.

New way Challenge:
#1. Billy is stronger because of his fathers lessons and what he learned by his father’s failure.
#2. Johnny gets his revenge.
#3. Billy has used his father’s ideas to keep him alive.
#4. Grace uses her father’s faith to beat lady Lilith.

5 Old Way – Men are more dangerous than woman.

Example 1. Men rule the world.
Example 2. No women in our gang.
Example 3. Women make baskets and fetch water
Example 4. Men take care of women.
Example 5. A woman gets married so she can be taken care of.

New Way Challenge:
#1 Grace has survived for 3 years in the Mission
#2 Lady Lilith controls her own army of demons.
#3 Elizabeth The Butcher challenges Carlo
#4 The battle of Troy was caused by a woman.
#5 Queen Elizabeth ruled England for 40 years
#6 Viking Shield Maidens fought along side their men
#7 Mary Tudor ” Bloody Mary”

8. PRESENT INSIGHTS OF THE NEW WAYS THROUGH PROFOUND MOMENTS

1. Family is all you have. Take care of eachother.
Examples: Father tells Johnny to watch over his brother Billy.
Johnny stands in for a challenge and saves his brother’s life.
Billy realizes that his Gang of outlaws has become his family. He tries to save their lives.

2. Hell can be anywhere you make it.
Examples:
The Devil’s bowl is a small sample of Hell.
Crossing the river STYXX .
The Spanish Mission is Hell. Below the Spanish Mission is a labrinth of caves. ( a lower level of Hell ) Hell is relevant to your circumstances.

3. Being first to the gun brings more trouble.
Examples:
Johnny shoots Balin and becomes his captive.
Billy shoots the Apache Leader and doesn’t learn about the Spanish Mission.
Adam shoots a rattle snake and spooks Goldie’s horse. Gets reprimanded.
Billy shoots Capt. Hernandez and must pay the penatly for shedding blood in the Temple of Balin.

4. Your God given talents were bestowed upon you for a reason.
Examples:
Billy is good with a gun. He uses it to get what he wants and to get himself out of trouble.
Billy is always 6 steps ahead. His planning keeps him alive.
Adam doesn’t believe in himself. When he develops a plan, it works.
Grace isn’t good with a gun but she’s amazing with a sword.
Goldie is full of wisdom from his past. He develops his skills and they keep him alive.

5. Be careful of who posseses your soul. You are the captain of your ship.
Examples:
Johnny sells his soul multiple times to get revenge and has no way out of Hell.
Red sells his soul to heal his wounds. Becomes the ward of Lady Lilith.
Wild Bill refuses to sell his soul and dies a horrible death.
Grace’s father refused to fight and was torn to pieces.
Goldie refuses to sell his soul and is saved by Billy who sold his soul to Loki.
Grace stays pure and refuses to sell her soul.

6. Forgive your father for his inequalities, his lessons good or bad will last forever.
Examples:
John Sr. died trying to protect his sons. His lessons remained strong in both of his sons and helped them survive.
The Angels betrayed God. Yet they still know his ways.
Grace followed her father to the Mission to save him. She survived on the lessons he taught her.

7. Failing to plan is planning to fail.
Examples:
Billy and Johnny are taught to stay six steps ahead. They continue to use it throughout their adult hood and it keeps them alive.
Billy plans an alternative escape route in the Mexico City robbery. They escape.
Goldie recognizes Billy’s plan to distract the crowd during his Duel with Johnny. You’re Six if you’re two!!
Billy distracts Lord Balin with an empty gun to get close enough to impale him with an iron spike.

8. Even the most evil of beings experience fear.
Examples: The most evil beings in Hell, fear their maker.

B. CONFLICT DELIVERS INSIGHT.

1. Argument-
Step 1. What is the New Way / Insight you want to deliver?
I want to make it clear that being first to the gun isn’t always the best way for a man to proceed.
Step 2. What kind of conflict could that insight show up in. – Argument.
Step 3. Brainstorm ways you might deliver the insight through the conflict. Adam shots a rattlesnake which could have bit Goldie’s horse. Goldie is thrown from his horse. Goldie drags Adam off his horse and throeatens to kill him if he ever points his gun in his direction again. Goldie extends his threat to the rest of gang.

2. Loss-
Step 1. What is the New Way / Insight you want to deliver?
Loss of a loved one makes you realize how much they mean to you.
Step 2. What kind of conflict could that insight show up in.
Loss- Billy mourns the loss of his Father, his Outlaw brothers and his Brother Johnny.
Step 3. Brainstorm ways you might deliver the insight through the conflict.
Billy looses his father and never forgets his lessons. Billy looses his outlaw friends and seeks revenge. Billy looses his brother and vows to take him out of hell and revenge his father.

3. Physical confrontation. –
Step 1. What is the New Way / Insight you want to deliver?
Friendships are important.
Step 2. What kind of conflict could that insight show up in.
Physical confrontation- Now on opposite sides Billy and Red fight eachother in the streets of Hell. Billy and Johnny fight in the streets of Hell.
Step 3. Brainstorm ways you might deliver the insight through the conflict.
Both fights show Johnny and the outlaws how imortant they are to eachother.

4. Accused-
Step 1. What is the New Way / Insight you want to deliver?
Adam is accused of knowing Billy and the outlaws. He will deny them three times before the cock crows.
Step 2. What kind of conflict could that insight show up in.
Accused- Frightened for his life, Adam denies knowing his outlaw cohorts. He lives long enough to realize they will do anything for him.
Step 3. Brainstorm ways you might deliver the insight through the conflict.
Adam challenges Goldie to a duel knowing he will be killed. But he does it to save someone who tried to save him.

5. Competition-
Step 1. What is the New Way / Insight you want to deliver? Ego is the destroyer of men.
Step 2. What kind of conflict could that insight show up in.
Competition- Men duel and fight for the right to become a demon in the Angel’s army of doom.
Step 3. Brainstorm ways you might deliver the insight through the conflict.
Gunfights and challenges are used to gain status. Billy and his gang use it to survive and take revenge upon the Angels.

C. Irony delivers insight.

1. Irony – using Motivation to get a desired outcome fails.
Step 1. What is the New Way / Insight you want to deliver?
Lord Turin motivated Johnny to kill his brother with a position of General in his Army of doom/ Family is more important than status.

Step 2. How could you deliver that insight through opposite experiences?
Instead of trying to kill eachother the two brothers destroy the Mission and burn down the town.

2. Irony – Greed
Step 1. What is the New Way / Insight you want to deliver?
The Outlaws go to the mission to recover their stolen gold. / They depart the mission with something more valuable. ( their souls )

Step 2. How could you deliver that insight through opposite experiences?
The Angels have set the mission up for recruiting soldiers for their demon army. They didn’t expect the outlaws to fight back and destroy their mission and their plans to destroy mankind.

3. Irony – Jesus died to rise again and save the world.

Step 1. Where could you build opposite experiences into your screenplay?
BIlly has to die and be born again to become a skin walker. Lupo makes a joke out of BIlly dying.

Step 2. What is the New Way / Insight you want to deliver through them?
Billy must be reborn in order to fight his way out of Hell and defeat the Angels. / You must shed your old skin in order to grow into what you need to become.

4. Irony- Motivation/ Revenge
Step 1. Where could you build opposite experiences into your screenplay?
Johnny has devoted himself to revenge against the angel that killed his father.

Step 2. What is the New Way / Insight you want to deliver through them?
Johnny dies realizing that his brother’s life was more important than revenging his father. / Life is more important than revenge.

5. Irony -Is Immortality a gift or a curse?

Step 1. What is the New Way / Insight you want to deliver?
The Angels promise their future prospects the gilft of Immortality if they kill their way to the top.

Step 2. How could you deliver that insight through opposite experiences?
The immortality that the Angels deliver is one of a living hell that cannot be escaped unless they are burned, or killed with salt, iron or wood.

9. PROFOUND DIALOGUE Two Ways to create Profound Dialogue:

Pattern A: Height of the Emotion

1. Billy just watched his father die trying to protect him and his bother Johnny. Lord Balin has no pitty and nods to John Sr. "The sons of man shall suffer for the iniquity of their fathers." – This line sets up the final scene of the film.

2. Adam shoots a rattle snake about to strike Goldies horse. Goldie pulls Adam from his horse and threatens to kill him. Billy lightens the mood. "Maybe you should have smiled at it." – This becomes Billy’s onging attempt to use his head instead of his guns.

3. John Sr. gives his two sons a life lesson. "Slow down, think before you move. You need to stay six steps ahead if you’re two." – This lesson has kept both Billy and Johnny alive and plays multiple times in the story to emphisize their father’s lesson to survive.

4. Billy shoots a man and readies the gang by telling them… "Time to pull your iron’s boys, cause this shit hole is about to get hairy!" – This line is meant to lighten the moment and pump up the reader for what is to come.

5. Carlo realizes that they are out-gunned and out-manned. "We’re going to need more bullets." – This is a play on Jaws. "We’re going to need a bigger boat." Adding humor to action and suspense.

6. Right before Red pulls the trigger, he tells Billy… " I have proven my courage and am now worthy of my people. I hope to see you in the Sky World my brother. " – This line is to signify that Red knows they are in Hell/ Purgatory and he is now worthy of passing to the Sky World.

7. Lord Balin makes fun of Lupo’s group. "An old wolf, a baby squirrel, eight boney Apache and two pitiful humans. You almost look like the fresco from the Last Supper. " – Another line to enhance the scene with humor and to add Religion to the scene.

8. Billy pulls a dying Johnny from the rubble. Johnny takes his last breaths. "It’s okay little brother. Outlaws don’t die old. They burn white hot and die young." – Johnny is telling his brother that he is okay to die. He went out fighting. Just like his father.

10. How Do You Leave Us With A Profound Ending?
A. DELIVER THE PROFOUND TRUTH PROFOUNDLY

A bad man can redeem himself and rise above the evil he has sown.

“What final scenes can be the ULTIMATE PAYOFF of my Profound Truth? ”

Johnny dies fighting for his cause.
Billy goes after Lord Balin and defeats him.
Billy and his gang give the gold to the villagers.
The Apache let them pass over the salt wall.
The Outlaws cross over the salt wall and disintegrate like dust. The next scenes show where they died fleeing the Mexican Soldiers after fleeing the bank robbery.

B. LEAD CHARACTER’S ENDING REPRESENTS THE CHANGE
Your Transformable Characters have gone through a major change in their lives. Your Change Agent has likely experienced some shifts just because they invested in the other character’s lives.
The question becomes, “How does their ending represent the change they’ve made in a powerful way?” Or “What was the change this movie is about and how does that show up when your lead characters conclude the journey?”

C. PAYOFF KEY SETUPS

Bily dies to becomes a monster and join his brother.
Billy uses the iron spike and the slip knot to kill Lord Balin.
Billy no longer wants the gold.
BIlly is no longer selfish and cares for his friends.
Billy takes Johnny’s body with them out of Purgatory.
Billy and Johnny learn from their father’s sins and use them to defeat Lord Balin.
Johnny gets his revenge
Johnny is saved by his brother. ( Irony)
Johnny became a monster to defeat a monster.
Adam finds his brave side
Adam finds a woman to love.
Carlo dies listening to music.
Carlo is correct that women are just as savage as men.
Red proves his worth to his Ancestors.
Lord Balin is not immortal.
Lord Balin dies fighting what he was supposed to cherish and watch over.
Lord Balin blood opens the cript to Lord Azizel, which continues the realm of Purgatory.

D. SURPRISING, BUT INEVITABLE

Billy is about to be killed by Lord Balin but defeats him.

The Outlaws have survived and are allowed to exit the Mission.

The Mission is/was Purgatory .

The Outlaws were dead the whole time.

They died in the high desert trying to escape the Mexican Soldiers.

They escape purgatory because they have proven that their souls are worthy to ascend.

E. LEAVE US WITH A PROFOUND PARTING IMAGE/LINE

When the Outlaws and Grace cross over the white salt wall they turn to dust.

We see where each of them fell and died trying to escape.

The last moments of film show Billy laying in the desert. We focus on his face. Billy gasps for air and his eyes open.

The End.

[margo meck]

Margo’s Profound Map Version 1

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” That I am not very effective during the Holidays. When our start date got pushed out, this assignment came during Christmas week. That is something I can work on as I need to be effective on demand.

TITLE: No title yet.
WRITTEN BY: margo

What is Your Profound Truth? Deep loss can create unexpected opportunities.

What is the Transformational Journey?
Old Ways: Small town dreams, narrow world-view, unskilled, dependent.

Journey: Brandi finds out her uncle is her father. Most of the town shuns her. Hoping a parachute jump out of a plane will kill her, she finds it exhilarating. She beings training in the extreme sport of parachute surfing and finds she has a knack for it.

New Ways: Independent, respected and well-known by her competitors, successful competing nationally.

Transformational Logline: The product of incest turns a death wish into a successful life as an extreme sport competitor.

Who are your Lead Characters?
Change Agent (the one causing the change): Brandi’s parasurfing coach
Transformable Character(s) (the one who makes the change): The protagonist, Brandi.
Betraying Character (if you have one):
Oppression: Incest taboo.

How Do You Connect With Your Audience in the Beginning of the Movie?
A. Relatability – They Are Us!
A young woman is excited about and preparing for her wedding day.
She is innocent, naïve, with small-town aspirations.

B. Intrigue
What are the results of the DNA test?
Is her mother really guilty of incest?
Who is Brandi’s absent uncle/father?

C. Empathy
Fiancé cancels the wedding.
Townspeople, friends, and neighbors shun her.
The rug just got pulled out from under her; her whole future has been destroyed.

D. Likability
She has the courage to confront her mother about who her father is.
She makes a decision to go her own way and rise above her treatment by the townspeople.
She is vulnerable.

Gradient of Change – Forced Change
Emotional Gradient 1: Denial – It’s not true. Mom would never do something like that.
Emotional Gradient 2: Anger – The wedding is canceled and it is her mother’s fault.
Emotional Gradient 3: Bargaining – Brandi tries to figure out how to live on her own
Emotional Gradient 4: Hope – Someone gives her a job and a place to stay
Emotional Gradient 5: Discouragement – Self-doubt that she has the skill to compete in parasurfing
Emotional Gradient 6: Courage – She stands up to her major competitor’s threat
Emotional Gradient 7: Acceptance/Triumph – She is who she is not what her parents did.

Gradient 2. The Action Gradient
Setup: Brandi is about to live her dream of marriage and then making a family
She lives in a small town with small town dreams
A friend pressures her to submit her DNA to an ancestry website to find out who her absent father is

Journey: Results from DNA test come back; her uncle is her father.
The town finds out and shuns her.
Hatred over what her mother did, she leaves her mom’s house and goes out on her own.
Distressed over her beginnings she parachutes from plane hoping it will kill her but finds it exhilarating. Encouraged by her boss’s friend, she gives parasurfing a try and loves it.
The coach sees her natural talent but Brandi believes she isn’t good enough to compete in parasurfing but
her coach enters her in competition anyway. She loses.

Payoff: Brandi makes it to the national level.
Her primary competitor at top level competition threatens to release the nature of her parents to the press if she doesn’t withdraw from competition.
She is who she is, not what her parents did. She stays in the competition and wins.

Gradient 3. The Challenge / Weakness Gradients:

Challenge/Weakness Gradient 1: Her fiancé cancels the wedding/Marriage and family was her dream. No other options.
Challenge/Weakness Gradient 2: Must find a job/no skills
Challenge/Weakness Gradient 3: Courage/despair
Challenge/Weakness Gradient 4: Learn new skill/no athletic training before in her life
Challenge/Weakness Gradient 5: Competes with accomplished athletes/doubts her skill level
Challenge/Weakness Gradient 6: She must decide to walk away or face the shame/Need to protect her mother’s name as much as her own.
Challenge/Weakness Gradient 7: International professional competition/First time competing at this level. Can she make the cut?

What is the transformational Structure of your story.
Act 1

Brandi is planning her wedding. Her big dream is to marry and have a family. The wedding is only weeks away.

Inciting Incident – A friend talks her into submitting DNA to Ancestry dot com. From the results she finds out that her absent uncle is also her father.

Her fiancé cancels the wedding.

In denial she confronts her mother who admits it’s possible.

Turning point: Her dreams are shattered. In anger at what her mother did, Brandi moves out of her mother’s house, but she has no money, no skills, and no knowledge of the world.

Act 2

A friend of her mother’s helps Brandi. He trains her as his receptionist and general go-fer and lets her live in a room at his airplane hangar. Brandi struggles to learn the ropes.

The people in the small town find out about her being the product of incest and shun her. Her old high school friends hassle and torment her.

Turning point: Filled with shame, she has a death wish. She parachutes with her boss hoping it will kill her.

Act 3

Surprisingly, the parachute jump didn’t kill her; in fact, she found it exhilarating.

A friend of her boss talks her into trying parachute surfing. He tells her she has a natural talent and she has hope that maybe life is worth living. Against her wishes, her coach signs her up for a competition. She loses.

She is discouraged but with the help of her coach, she trains harder. She enters other competitions and every time her performance improves. She goes to an intense national competition.

Turning point: Her primary competitor finds out about her past and threatens to release the information to the press if she doesn’t withdraw from the competition.

Act 4

Brandi is torn between her shame and wanting to prove her skill at the competition.

She finds the courage to overcome her shame.

Climax: She competes and wins.

Resolution: Her peers respect her for her skill. She is accepted for who she is, not what her parents did.

How are the “Old Ways” Challenged? What beliefs are challenged that cause a main character to shift their perspective…and make the change?

Challenge through Questioning – Five Question Challenges to 5 Old Ways
1 Do you always do what your mother tells you to?
Brandi is 18 and lives with her mother. She goes from being dependent on her mother to wanting to get married right out of high school and being dependent on her husband.

2 So, your Big Dream is marriage and a family? Over 50% of all marriages end in divorce. What will you do when you get divorced?
Brandi lives in a small town and her dreams are not very big.

3 Are you going to let those jerks get under your skin?
Because of Brandi finding out (and then most of the small town finding out) that she is the product of incest, she is full of shame and everyone in town shuns her.

4 Don’t you want to see the world before you settle down? Don’t you know there’s more out there than this little speck on the map?
Brandi lives in a small town and has never been far from it. She is ignorant of the larger world and what it might have to offer.

5 Don’t you want to learn new things? What skills do you have that you could sell in case something happened, like your husband was hurt and couldn’t work or lost his job, or dozen other things?
Brandi has no sellable skills. She is dependent financially on her mother now, and then her husband after her marriage. If something doesn’t change, she will always be dependent.

Challenge by Counterexample – Five Counterexamples to one Old Way (dependence)
1 Brandi is so dependent, she didn’t even learn to drive. Her only transportation is a bicycle.
A friend of her mother’s will let her use his Vespa if she can pass the driving test. She studies and passes.
Driving the scooter is a big lift to independence she didn’t know she was missing.

2 A friend of her mother’s gives her a job as a go-fer. With her own source of income, again she gets a taste of independence.

3 When Brandi jumps out of an airplane on a parachute jump hoping it will kill her but finds it is exhilarating, she gets yet another “feeling” of independence in the free fall.

4 She gets that same “feeling” of freedom from learning parachute surfing and opens a whole new world to her.

5 When she picks up the skills for parachute surfing quickly and starts competing, she sees a new picture of who she is and “gets” what independence might look like.

Challenge by “Should Work, But Doesn’t” – 5 Should Work, But Doesn’t challenges

1 One of Brandi’s Old Ways is her dependency on others to take care of her. She is still living at home with her mother on the threshold of her wedding. Her mother asks Brandi to go get something from the store for the wedding. Brandi reminds her mother that she doesn’t drive and her mother should go get it. Her mother tells Brandi that she scoots around well enough on her bicycle and to go get it on her bike.

2 Brandi doesn’t work and is dependent on her mother for an allowance. Brandi asks her mother for a little extra money. Her mother is neck deep in wedding expenses and refuses.

3 Brandi has a fight with her mother (after the wedding was canceled) and moves out. She goes to the church thinking she can get a room with one of the parishioners. Because the parishioners know she is an incest baby she has become an untouchable, and no one will take her in.

4 Brandi goes to the church’s minister thinking he can get someone to take her in, but he doesn’t want the church to be tainted by her taboo and asks her to stop coming to church.

5 Brandi goes to the high school career counselor to get help finding a job, but because she has no skills; she can’t even get an interview.

Challenge through Living Metaphor – 5 Living Metaphor challenges

1 Brandi has to deal with the fallout of the cancelled wedding. She is “challenged” by what to do with her wedding gown.

2 Brandi is at a total loss. She feels her life is over. She has a death wish. Even though, trying parachuting is something new, she hopes it will kill her so she gives it a try. Her Old Way of doing nothing new is challenged by trying a parachute jump. But, when she finds the jump exhilarating and exciting, her Old Way dissipates.

3 Brandi is dependent on her bicycle for transportation as she never learned to drive. Her employer offers her an old Vespa if she will get her license. This challenges her Old Way of being dependent and not trying anything new.

4 Because the whole small town now knows Brandi is the product of incest, she has become a pariah. She is full of shame and considers herself a pariah, too. Learning to parachute surf is a living metaphor of “rising above” and the beginning of seeing herself differently.

5 Winning the competition at the end of the story is a Living Metaphor that she has overcome the taboo and has “won” in running her life her way.

How are You Presenting Insights through Profound Moments?

Action delivers insight

New Way One: Proud of her accomplishments.
Action: When we meet Brandi, she doesn’t have a driver’s license (even though she is 18). Her only transportation is her bicycle. She studies for and gets her license. She swaps her bicycle for a motor scooter.
She is proud of her accomplishment and a new sense of independence.

New Way Two: Brandi becomes a national figure not a small town nobody.
Action: She shows a natural talent for para-surfing and begins competing. Through hard work, dedication, and grit she works her way up through the ranks of competing at the national level.

New Way Three: Congenial camaraderie with peers instead of being shunned.
Action: When almost the whole small town finds out Brandi is the product of incest, they shun her. Her new peers and fellow competitors accept her. She has a new-found camaraderie.

New Way Four: Brandi is respected for who she is not what her parents did.
Action: Her skills in para-surfing blossom. Her new community respects her for her abilities as she moves up through the ranks of this competitive sport.

New Way Five: Brandi creates her own narrative.
Action: When Brandi loses the only future she could foresee, she moves out of her mother’s home and starts building a life of her own.

Conflict delivers insight

1 Brandi is still living at home, doesn’t have a job, doesn’t even have a driver’s license. She has a fight with her mother and moves out.

2 Brandi, has no place to live and no means to support herself. She goes to her minister and asks for help. Brandi has become a pariah because of the news that she is a child of incest. The minister wants her out of his church and refuses to help her.

3 An old friend of the family lets Brandi stay in a small room in his hanger and pays her to be a go-fer. She is late with an important delivery because her only transportation is a bicycle. Her boss comes down on her. Angry about the late delivery he threatens Brandi: “either get a driver’s license or leave.” She studies and gets the license. This is a big shift toward independence.

4 Brandi’s big dream was marriage and having a family. She goes to her doctor who tells her because of genetic complications from incest, she shouldn’t have children. This internal conflict is resolved and shows independence when she does research to find out about adoption or even foster care.

5 At the end of the story Brandi has a major dilemma. In a national competition her primary competition threatens to go to the press and release her background if she doesn’t withdraw from the competition. This not only is a threat to her, but it also puts a spotlight on her mother. Her decision on how to react to this threat shows at the climax her New Way of independence.

Irony delivers insight

1 Deal: Brandi’s friend dares her to have her DNA tested to find out who her father is. She finds her father alright, but finds he is her uncle.

2 Credit (but I changed it to Blame): Brandi is on a go-fer errand for her boss. Her ex-fiancé puts a hole in her bicycle tire which makes her late and she gets chewed out for not doing her job.

3 Credit (but I changed it to Blame): Brandi blames her mother for intentional incest with her brother, but we find out her mother was gang-raped while she was unconscious and she didn’t know who the father was.

4 Identity: As Brandi wins more competitions and comes into her own, her relationship with her mother goes south; that is, she loses sight of what’s important.

5 Deal: Brandi’s coach enters her into her first competition against her wishes. But she goes along with it. To everyone’s surprise including her own, she places in the competition. She is better than anyone thought (except her coach).

What are the Most Profound Lines of the Movie?

Pattern A: Height of the Emotion

Emotional moment 1 – A friend has talked Brandi in to submitting DNA to ancestry dot com to find out who her unknown father is. The test comes back and she finds out her father is her uncle. She runs the gambit of shock, denial, and anger. This new information shakes Brandi’s world.

Dialog line – She asks herself: “What does that make me?”

Emotional moment 2 – Brandi’s big dream is marriage and a family. When her fiancé finds out she is an incest baby, he cancels the wedding. Brandi’s future just got pulled out from underneath her. She has lost everything she wanted out of life.

Dialog line – Brandi to her fiancé: “I wanted to grow old with you. This isn’t what love looks like.”

Emotional moment 3 – Brandi’s first para-surfing lesson. It exhilarates her. She feels free for the first time in her life. (She is a bit of a goody-goody and doesn’t swear.) She returns to shore.

Dialog line – To her coach: “Hot damn.”

Emotional moment 4 – Brandi’s major competitor threatens to expose her past if she doesn’t withdraw from the competition. This is a dilemma moment for Brandi. This threat throws her back into shame and she regresses. She pulls herself up by the bootstraps.

Dialog line – To her competitor – “Bite me. Expose me. Humph. We’ll just see what gets exposed.”

Emotional moment 5 – Brandi is learning para-surfing. Her teacher sees potential in her and enters her in a local competition. She adamantly refuses. She is only a beginner.

Dialog line – Brandi to her coach: “You’re crazy. I won’t go.” Coach to Brandi: You gotta stretch your wings, kid.”

Pattern B: Build Meaning Over Multiple Scenes

Early in Act 1 – The song “Faithfully” plays. Brandi is young and naïve. Brandi (talking about her fiancé): “Faithfully. And, forever.”
Here the meaning is complete commitment.

Middle of Act 1 – Brandi’s fiancé cancels the wedding when he finds out Brandi is an incest baby. Brandi says: “Faithfully.”
This time it is said sarcastically meaning he broke his promise.

Somewhere in Act 2 – Brandi sees her former fiancé with another woman on his arm. Brandi says: “Faithfully.”
The meaning he’s a creep and she’s is lucky she escaped being stuck in a marriage with him.

Act 3 – Brandi is successful and a national celebrity in her sport. Her fiancé approaches her wanting to move forward with the marriage. Brandi says “Faithfully.”
The meaning here is that she is now faithful to herself and he can take a hike.

DIALOG LINE 2: “WHAT DOES THAT MAKE ME?”

In scene 4 of Act 1 Brandi finds out her uncle is her father and asks her friend “What does that make me?”
The meaning here is she thinks she is something dirty, icky, creepy.

At the end of Act 1 Brandi is still living with her mother. She asks her mother “What does that make me?”
The meaning here is if she stays with her mother does that imply she condones her mother’s action.

Somewhere in Act 2 Brandi goes to a doctor to ask questions about being an incest baby. She asks him “What does that make me?”
Here she means is she some sort of mutant? If she has children, they will also be freaks?

At the Crisis in Act 3, Brandi is threatened by a competitor to withdraw or he will tell the press about her being an incest baby. She talks it over with a friend. “If I compete and he spreads this about me, what does that make me?” Here she is aware that her mother’s name will also be drug through the mud. If she competes, is she being selfish?
The meaning here is to confirm by her friend who answers the question with: “A winner.”

DIALOG LINE 3: “It’s good.”

At the very beginning of the script (Act 1 scene 2) Brandi is working on her wedding decorations. Her friend tells her “It’s good.”
The meaning here is that everyone will love it.

In Act 2 after Brandi moves out of her mother’s home, has no place to live and can’t get a job, an old friend of the family offers her a job as a go-fer. He shows her a small utility room where he will let her stay. She looks over the room and says: “It’s good.”
The meaning here is that it is better than living on the street.

After her coach sees how quickly Brandi picks up para-surfing he says: “It’s good.”
The meaning here is that he sees potential in her and starts her on serious training to compete.

Brandi’s coach enters her in a competition against Brandi’s wishes. She says, “Yeah, it’s good.”
The meaning here is sarcastically the opposite: she is scared and doesn’t want to go through with it.

At the very end Brandi and her mother reconcile. Her mother congratulates her on winning a national competition and making something of herself. Brandi’s reply: “It’s good.”
The meaning here is she can face whatever life throws at her.

How Do You Leave Us With A Profound Ending?
Deliver The Profound Truth Profoundly
Brandi wins a national competition. She is successful in a bigger world. She no longer is limited by the horizon of small-minded people in a small town.

Lead Characters Ending Represents The Change
Brandi’s world collapsed when she found out she was the product of incest. But because her dream life disintegrated, she found an unexpected world that opened up to her and an unknown potential.

Payoff Key Setups
Answers to: Will Brandi give up on life because her dream is gone? Will Brandi rise above the taboo and the shunning of the town’s people? Is this new life too big for her? Does she have the “right stuff”?

Surprising, But Inevitable
There is more to Brandi than even she realizes. Turning a death wish into a commitment to hone a natural talent surprises Brandi as well as us. But it was inevitable because she was always bigger and had more potential than the limited horizon of her small town.

Leave Us with a Profound Parting Image/Line
Throughout the story Brandi asks herself “what does that make me?” when she finds out her uncle is her father. The final image is Brandi winning a national competition and her friend answers that question by saying: “A winner.”

[Margaret]

Margaret’s Profound Map Version 1

What I learned: My simple idea of a story took on a life of it’s own with the profound map. I realized I need to go back and map out my other screenplays. Lots of work ahead!

Profound Map for RAG DOLLS
TITLE: Rag Dolls
WRITTEN BY: Margaret Silebi
1. What is Your Profound Truth? God created each of us with unique skills, and we need courage from God to use them to carry God’s truth to the world.
2. What is the Transformational Journey?

Old Ways: Timid, passive acceptance when challenged, fearful, avoid change/risk.
Transformational journey: From passive seamstress to active resistance worker.
New Ways: Courageous, risk-taker, active resistance
Transformational Logline: A grieving, fearful grandmother, oppressed by Nazi’s, joins the resistance, courageously relaying messages through her rag dolls, secretly aiding in smuggling children to safety.
3. Who are Your Lead Characters?
Change Agent (the one causing the change): Helene
Transformable Character(s) (the one who makes the change): Margot
Betraying Character (if you have one): Lise
Oppression: Nazi occupation
4. How Do You Connect With Your Audience in the Beginning of the Movie?
A. Relatability – Loved one dies. Ordinary woman trying to meet a deadline.
B. Intrigue – Secret message sent saying someone must meet at a certain time or secrets will be exposed.
C. Empathy – Grieving grandmother.
D. Likability – Excellent seamstress, people praise her work.
5. What is the Gradient of the Change?
What steps do the Transformational Characters go through as they are changing?
Gradient 1. The Emotional Gradient – Desired Change
A. Excitement: Margot meets Helene and is recruited as a seamstress for the resistance.
B. Doubt: Margot doubts her ability to be a resistance worker because of her age.
C. Hope: Margot agrees to use her skills and code rag dolls to send messages that would assist Jewish children to safety over the Alps.
D. Discouragement: Margot has difficulty learning the code.
E. Courage: Margot bravely undermines the Nazi’s effort to obtain a message.
F. Triumph: After Resistance Network destroyed, Margot establishes a new network.

Gradient 2. The Action Gradient

A. Setup: Grieving grandmother who passively accepts Nazi occupation.
B. Journey: From doubting her abilities to be an effective resistance worker to active resistance worker who establishes her own resistance network.
C. Payoff: Establishes her own resistance network.
Gradient 3. The Challenge / Weakness Gradient
Challenge: Recruited as a resistance worker.
Weakness: Difficulty learning the code.

Next Challenge: Must lie to maintain cover.
Next Weakness: Moral code doesn’t include lying.

Next Challenge: Watching friend imprisoned, another shot to death.
Next Weakness: Fear of Dying

Next Challenge: Undergo Nazi questioning
Next Weakness: Fear of continuing the risk/resistance work.

6. What is the transformational Structure of your story.
4-Act Structure:
Act 1:
Opening: A half-Jewish girl is killed by a Nazi soldier in occupied France. A grandmother, Margot, struggles to finish her rag doll with time constraints. At a funeral, the grandmother lays the rag doll in her granddaughter’s dead arms. She is passed a note, forcing her to come to a certain place at a certain time or her “secrets will be exposed.”
• Introduce Margot as a grieving grandmother, hesitant, self-doubting seamstress who believes her age and limitations render her useless.
• Establish Lise as a nervous shop owner who believes she’s incapable of keeping important secrets.
• Highlight the religious and cultural divisions that typically separate people during this era
• Show the pervasive fear and passive acceptance of Nazi occupation.
Inciting Incident: Margot shows up at the prescribed place/time and meets Helene (German grandmother), Lise (toy shop owner), and elderly Marie-Claude (Math professor). Margot and Lise are recruited into the resistance to the Nazi occupation.
• Helene brings together Margot, Lise, Marie-Claude – women from different backgrounds
• Initial resistance from Margot: “I’m too old. What could I possibly do?”
• Lise’s immediate fear: “I can’t keep a secret. I’ll endanger everyone.”
• Marie-Claude shares the biblical story of Esther, drawing parallels to their current situation (For such a time as this…).
• Introduce the concept that God equips unlikely people for extraordinary purposes.
• Margot and Lise begin to see themselves differently.
Turning Point: Margot and Lise agree to join Helene and Marie-Claude’s resistance network.
• Despite fear, Margot agrees, quoting Isaiah 6:8: “Here I am, send me.”
• Lise commits, acknowledging her ability to distract and communicate.
• They establish a weekly “sewing club” as their resistance network.
Act 2:
New plan: Margot to use Marie-Claude’s coding to make rag dolls that physically send a message to resistance workers taking Jewish children over the Alps to safety. (codes in stitch and ribbon length and color, pleats in dolls clothes).
• Marie-Claude struggles to teach Margot coding, revealing both women’s vulnerabilities.
• Dialogue that challenges preconceived notions about age, religion, and capability.
Plan in action: Lise uses her toy shop to pass rag dolls on to resistance workers transporting Jewish children to safety.
• Scenes showing Margot’s gradual transformation from self-doubt to confidence
• Lise learns to use her talkative nature as a strategic tool of resistance Explicit moment showing how their differences become their strength
Midpoint Turning Point: Klaus, Helene’s son and Nazi officer, suspects his mother is part of the resistance.
• Klaus (Helene’s son) discovers their activities
• Introduction of moral complexity – showing Klaus’s internal conflict
• Surveillance begins of resistance network, increasing tension
• Private moment showing Klaus wrestling with duty and family loyalty
• Hint at the potential for personal transformation
Act 3:
Rethink everything: With suspicion increasing and a spy introduced by Klaus to the women’s “sewing club” a new method of communicating is needed.

New plan: Utilize priests to transmit messages for coding during “confession.”
• More detailed scenes of message transmission through dolls
• Highlight how each woman’s unique skill becomes crucial
• Scenes showing unexpected courage and capability
• Quiet moment of prayer or reflection showing internal transformation
• Characters drawing strength beyond their perceived limitations
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: Lise betrays the resistance. Nazi’s raid the shop, Helene is imprisoned and Marie-Claude shot to death.
• Betrayal by Lise sparks raid on toy shop
• Tension rises as the women must navigate increasing danger
• Moments of spiritual reflection and mutual support
Act 4:

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Margot taken in for questioning and able to deceive Nazi’s.
Resolution: Margot sets up her own resistance network and trains others.
7. How are the “Old Ways” Challenged?
What beliefs are challenged that cause a main character to shift their perspective…and make the change?
A. Challenge through Questioning: Passive acceptance of Nazi oppression challenged by Helene’s questioning.

B. Challenge by Counterexample: Assuming that an elderly person can’t do effective work – challenged by Helene and Marie-Claude’s resistance work.

C. Challenge by “Should Work, But Doesn’t: Margot believes that her lifetime of discretion and careful behavior will protect her from Nazi abuse. Her granddaughter is killed by the Nazi’s and she realizes the only way to save other children is by active resistance.

D. Challenge through Living Metaphor: The intentionally loose button on the rag dolls becomes a living metaphor for adaptability and resistance, representing how small, seemingly insignificant actions can disrupt larger systems of oppression.
8. How are You Presenting Insights through Profound Moments?
A. Action delivers insight: Ordinary people can be extraordinary heroes – Lise transforms her weakness of talking too much into a strategic strength by distracting a Nazi and saving a child’s life.
B. Conflict delivers insight: Resistance is an act of deeply personal moral courage – Margot rips off a button from a rag doll as a silent act of defiance showing resistance isn’t always about grand gestures, but about making principled choices in moments of extreme pressure.
C. Irony delivers insight: The resistance women come from different religious backgrounds but unite against a common enemy (what divided them is used for unified resistance.
9. What are the Most Profound Lines of the Movie?
Pattern A: Height of the Emotion: Helene’s confrontation with her son, “My son, I would rather be bound by truth than freed by your lies. Some chains are chosen, some freedoms earned through sacrifice.”
Pattern B: Build Meaning Over Multiple Scenes: ”For such a time as this”, represents a call to the resistance, Lise using her chattiness as a weapon, Marie-Claude’s academic brilliance into a resistance strategy, Helene’s maternal instinct into a revolutionary act.
10. How Do You Leave Us With A Profound Ending?
A. Deliver The Profound Truth Profoundly: Margot has changed into an active resistance worker, using the talents God gave her.
B. Lead Characters Ending Represents The Change: Margot has changed from a weak, passive grandmother into a strong, confident, creative resistance worker.
C. Payoff Key Setups:
1. The student becomes the teacher
2. The loss of a child becomes the saving of many
3. The fear to enter a network becomes the establishment of a new one
D. Surprising, But Inevitable: Surprised to see that Marie-Claude lives after we thought we saw her killed, and still involved in the network. Surprised to see the fearful Margot blatantly involved in resistance work.
E. Leave Us with a Profound Parting Image/Line: Margot tells her student, “for such a time as this” as she trains her in resistance work.

[Mark Roeder]

Request for Exchange:

Hi. Would anyone like to exchange feedback on the Profound Map?

Thank you,
Mark Roeder