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Lesson 16
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16 Replies
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Megan’s Has Completed Act 2 Draft 1
What I learned doing this assignment is…that even when life is busy, if I make writing a priority, I can always find a few minutes to squeeze it in. Today’s Zoom meeting encouraged me to keep moving forward; even a little progress is progress!
I’m already leaving myself notes on future scenes to add or details to change but I’m holding off until after I get the first draft finished before going backward.
INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY — DAY
Anna runs down the hallway barefoot in a hospital gown. NURSES and HOSPITAL STAFF give her strange looks as she passes.
Seeing their expressions, Anna slows. She notices a closet and ducks inside.
INT. JANITOR’S CLOSER — DAY
Anna stumbles and nearly trips on something in the dark closet. She flips on a light. It’s a mop and mop bucket. Anna’s eyes light up.
ANNA
Evan!
Anna digs through her bag for her cell phone.
ANNA
Of course I couldn’t grab my clothes before running out.
Anna pulls out her phone and dials Evan. He answers on the third ring.
EVAN (O.S.)
Hello?
ANNA
Evan! It’s Anna!
EVAN (O.S.)
What’s wrong? You sound off.
ANNA
I need you to come and get me. I’m in the hospital.
EVAN (O.S.)
Oh my God! Are you okay??
ANNA
I’m okay, but I want you to take me back to First Man.
EVAN (O.S.)
Seriously? I thought you didn’t want to have anything to do with—
ANNA
Just come quickly, okay?
EVAN (O.S.)
Okay. I’m on my way.
ANNA
And bring clothes!
INT. FIRST MAN HQ — DAY
Anna follows Evan into First Man, clearly wearing some of Evan’s clothes. Adam jumps up as soon as he sees them.
ADAM
Anna! Are you okay? Did they hurt you?
Adam surprises Anna by suddenly giving her a protective hug. The other men in HQ slowly filter out of the room, giving them privacy.
Before he exits, Evan meets Anna’s eyes and mouths the words “Listen to him.”
Adam releases Anna.
ADAM
What happened? You’re pregnant again, aren’t you?
ANNA
Yes. Wait, how did you know?
ADAM
Let me guess. It’s a boy.
ANNA
Yes! Did you know about this Gender Disparity thing?!
ADAM
Yes.
ANNA
How??
Adam gestures to a chair.
ADAM
Maybe you should take a seat. I owe you some answers. About your mother.
ANNA
NOW you want to talk about Mom? After everything I just went through?!
ADAM
That’s exactly why I have to tell you.
Anna drops into a chair but Adam paces restlessly.
ADAM
Maybe you’re wondering how I first got involved with First Man.
ANNA
What does this have to do with Mom?
ADAM
I’m getting there. You should know that First Man isn’t some back water grass roots organization. There’s an entire network of these pockets of resistance all across the country. So far we’ve eluded detection, but I’m afraid it’s only a matter of time.
ANNA
Any chance of you getting to the point sometime soon, Adam?
Adam smiles ruefully.
ADAM
Adam. You know, once upon a time you used to call me Dad.
ANNA
And once upon a time Mom was still alive and we were a happy family. But all fairytales have to end eventually.
ADAM
Yes. They do.
Adam runs a hand across his stubble of beard, clearly uncomfortable.
ADAM
Man, this is worse than the time I had to admit to you and Evan that there isn’t really a Santa Claus.
ANNA
Just tell me already. Clearly Evan already knows. I don’t know why it should be so much harder telling me—
ADAM
Your mother didn’t die by accident. She was killed.
ANNA
Yeah, I know. By a drunk driver.
ADAM
No. There was no car accident. No drunk driver.
ANNA
Then how—
ADAM
You wanted to know how I knew about the Gender Disparity Act. We found out about it when your mother got pregnant the second time.
ANNA
Second time? You mean after Evan and I—?
ADAM
Anna, you had a younger brother. His name was Liam.
Anna freezes.
ANNA
Liam?
ADAM
Do you remember him? You and Evan were so young. Not even three years old.
ANNA
What happened to him? What happened to Mom??
ADAM
The same thing that almost happened to you. They found out your mother was having another boy, and they tried to force her to abort. She fled. We hid her for months by moving around from one friend to another, never staying in one place too long. Your little brother was born right in Uncle Jimmy’s basement in Iowa. Do you remind that?
ANNA
I . . . I remember Iowa, I think. Evan and I had to share a room.
ADAM
And a bed. We all did. Jimmy didn’t have much.
ANNA
What happened to Mom?
But Adam seems lost in the memories.
ADAM
We thought we’d have to live like that for the rest of our lives, on the run. Always afraid.
ANNA
Adam! What happened to Mom?
Adam turns to Anna and his expression is ice, his voice leaden from years of pain and loss.
ADAM
What do you think happened? She wouldn’t terminate the pregnancy, so they ferreted her out and killed them both.
ANNA
Who did?!
ADAM
You already know the answer to that question.
Adam drops into a chair, spent.
ANNA
You can’t seriously believe that President Harris would ever condone such a outrageous law!
ADAM
She doesn’t just condone it; she created it. Forced it through the system without any approval from Congress. Half of those old biddies probably don’t even know the law exists.
Now Anna is the one who jumps out of her seat and begins pacing.
ANNA
There must be something we can do!
ADAM
There is. But we need your help.
Adam levels a piercing gaze at Anna.
ADAM
We’re going to take out the President.
ANNA
Do you have any idea how ridiculous that sounds??
ADAM
Yes. Just as ridiculous as a Gender Disparity Act.
Anna’s hands immediately drop to her belly protectively. After a minute’s thought, she meet’s Adam stare.
ANNA
Okay. I’ll do it. I’ll help you depose the President.
ADAM
You will??
ANNA
But we’re first going to try to do it peaceably.
ADAM
She’s never going to go down without a fight, Anna.
ANNA
I don’t mind a fight. But I’m not going down in history with the likes of John Wilkes Booth and Lee Harvey Oswald as someone who assassinated a President. No matter how corrupt. Let me at least look for a better way.
ADAM
There is no better way, Anna. You’ll see that eventually. I just hope you do before it’s too late.
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LESSON SIXTEEN
Kevin Has Completed Act 2 Draft 1
What I learned from this assignment is that writing the script headfirst in its simplest form, I’m only at page 24 at the halfway mark. This is going to make for a very short first draft, so I need to go back and add some complexity to it. I already do have a scene or two that will expand it, but it’s going to speak to the vulnerability of the protagonist, so it will help deepen the journey… but more work to do. I’ve become very proficient at writing lean, maybe too much so.
INT. CABIN IN THE WOODS – DAY
COMMISSIONER GORDON, 76, weathered but contented, sits by a calm lakeside, fishing. An elegant woman, BARBARA, opens the cabin door and calls out.
BARBARA
Jim!
JIM
You’re scaring the fish!
She walks down to the edge of the lake.
BARBARA
You know there aren’t any fish.
JIM
Still.
BARBARA
You need to see the news.
JIM
Really? Why do you bother. It never changes. I’m done with all that.
BARBARA
It changed today.
She hands him his fedora.
JIM
Shit.
INT. JOKER’S LAIR – NIGHT
Joker is pacing the floor of his lair, pistol in hand, shooting at a life size figure of Batman as we know him, situated at one end of a long room.
JOKER
Where are you, masked crusader? (shot) I know you’re out there, somewhere. (shot) Don’t you care about the little kiddies any more? (Shot) Their smouldering carcases DON’T MOVE YOU?!
He empties the pistol into the mannequin and tosses it after the barrage of bullets. He marches over to a case, pulls out a rocket launcher, and fires, blowing the Batman replica to bits.
JOKER
Whew. That’s better.
He pushes down on a button on the table next to him.
HENCHMAN
Ya boss? Everything okay? I heard somethin’ explode.
JOKER
If things weren’t okay, you would know about it. My little bat dolly had an oopsie. Get me another one, will you? And come clean up this mess.
HENCHMAN
Y-
Joker hangs up and walks out the door into his garden with a flourish.
JOKER
Good. Now where are you, you rat with wings?!
INT. WAYNE MANOR – NIGHT
Bruce is on his treadmill, sucking on green goo, and looking at a complex grid on a virtual screen in front of him. Ali is standing at a console with rows of statistics in front of her.
BRUCE
Allison, how does this work again? I know we developed this, but…
Ali walks over in front of him and swipes her hand in front of his face. The screen swipes away and is replaced by another.
ALI
Honestly Uncle Bruce, how did you get so out of the loop? Just swipe in front of your face and poke holes in what you want to key in. A child can do it.
BRUCE
A child who grew up with technology. I grew up with dial phones and green stamps.
ALI
And developed hi tech gear to save the planet over and over with my Uncle Alfred. Cry me a river!
BRUCE
Okay, fine. Just help me out here, I’m detoxing and drinking your green crap aren’t I?
Ali stops what she’s doing and looks at him, sweating and chugging.
ALI
Two things. This ultimatum from the Joker. It’s not about airlines. Nothing here is vulnerable or out of line, and hijacking is too small scale for his threat. There must be something else we’re missing.
BRUCE
That’s one thing, and I agree, but his clues don’t match anything else. Military maybe? What’s the second thing?
ALI
You. No way we’re getting you anything close to camera ready by noon tomorrow. We need a plan to put you out there, but not let you be seen.
BRUCE
Agreed. Military isn’t his style. Chaos is. Let’s call him out before noon then. You do social media, right?
ALI
On it grandpa. You work on a speech that’ll resonate, I’ll get the platforms ready to pop.
INT. POLICE HEADQUARTERS – DAY
Commissioner Gordon enters the HQ and starts to file past the detectives desks, fedora down low and walking fast. Chief Bock strides into his path and puts a hand on his shoulder.
BOCK
Hold it right there old timer. I’d know the grease stains on that hat anywhere. Who said you could be in here?
JIM
Why you old goat. I’m surprised to see you still around. Thought you’d have bowed out years ago.
BOCK
Like you did? Sorry, not a yellow bone in this old body. What foul wind blew you in?
JIM
Like you don’t know…
Bock knocks Jim’s hat off and gives him a huge bear hug. The room breaks out in cheers.
BOCK
Glad you’re back on the block, Jim. God, we need your help.
JIM
Not likely, but when I got the call, I knew I didn’t have a choice.
A DETECTIVE hands Jim his hat and he dons it as the two walk toward the Commissioner’s door, which slams against the frame as it’s shoved open.
COMMISSIONER PARSONS
What’s all this then! I thought I told you assholes to scour the … Jim! Thank God you’re here. Let’s go to the war room.
JIM
Have you heard from him?
COMMISSIONER PARSONS
No, not yet. I’m sure he’ll come through though.
JIM
He always does.
Bock releases his grip and the three of them head down a dark hallway, deeper into the building.
EXT. DEPARTMENT STORE – DAY
Joker slides furtively to and fro in front of a row of televisions in a department sore.
JOKER
Come on Battie, come on…
A news report rolls a banner reading breaking news Batman appears on the screen.
JOKER
Ha ha! There you are… I knew you were out there somewhere!
BATMAN
This is a message for the coward who calls himself The Joker. There’s no need to harm innocent children and day care workers if it’s me you’re after.
JOKER
Ha ha ha! You! You’re the one who will put an end to this miserable existence. I’ve got you now!
BATMAN
Meet me in the colosseum tomorrow at midnight. I’ll be alone.
Joker laughs and laughs. Those around watching in disgust.
JOKER
Oh no you don’t. We play by my rules, oh bat one.
INT. DAYCARE CENTER TWO – DAY
Joker stands in the middle of the daycare center. Around him are children chained to desks, play equipment and each other. A camera sits in front of him as he sits on the floor, building a letter block tower.
JOKER
Tick tock Batman, Tick tock. High noon approaches and these little ones want to get back to their blocks.
He strings a wire through the middle of the blocks and wiring them to a red button with a clown face in the middle of it.
OKER
I saw your little message, and as much as I’d love to come to your little rendezvous, it will be 12 hours too late! We already have a date which expires in 4 hours!
He finishes wiring the button, and moves the camera as he stands and points it to the button and then all around the room at the crying and sobbing children.
JOKER
This button will disable the bombs located in the middle of this here room! Saving all the little kiddies here!
He starts dancing around the room handing out suckers and candy to the children.
JOKER
Hurry Batman, all you have to do is find them and push the little red button! In the light of day. Better hurry!
INT. WAYNE MANOR – DAY
Bruce is drinking a green shake, making faces and choking it down. Ali is at the computer display eliminating sections of Gotham and trying to track the signal.
BRUCE
Damnit!
ALI
Got him!
Joker stared hard into the camera.
JOKER
Oh, and before you think the cavalry can save the day, they can’t see this!
He cackles uncontrollably.
JOKER
That’s right! I know where you are! Not actually of course or I’d blow you to oblivion but your digital imprint allowed me to open a tunnel and downstream directly to you! Thanks to AI, this is a love letter directly from me to you! Tick tock!
The screen blanks out.
BRUCE
Where’s the suit?
He jumps off the treadmill and opens the pneumatic closet that holds his suits. He pulls one out and holds it up. It’s half his size.
ALI
A few too many chips, Bruce?
BRUCE
Shut up. What are we going to do?
ALI
In 4 hours? I have no idea. You could send someone else.
BRUCE
Not possible. You saw him.
ALI
In the suit no one will know the difference.
BRUCE
Even if there was someone, I’m not putting someone else in danger.
ALI
It’s pushing a button.
BRUCE
It’s never just pushing a button.
ALI
Okay then, You can squeeze into the mask, right, I have an idea. We can just make it.
She circles an address, and swipes it off the screen.
INT. BATMOBILE – DAY
The Batmobile races through the streets of Gotham. The daycare looms in the distance growing closer. Batman crammed in the batmobile wearin the familar mask and a giant black cape surrounding him glances at the clock on his dash.
BATMAN
One minute thirty. You timed it just right didn’t you Joker?
He comes to a screeching halt at the front doors and a thick fog pours forth from the front of the batmobile engulfing the day care in white.
Batman emerges from the vehicle a shadow of black with the signature sillouette bursting through the doors surrounded by fog that fills the room instantly.
BATMAN
Made it. Now where is that infernal button?
He lunges forward, but trips on the oversized cape, falling forward just short of the button. The timer around the base counts down 3,2,1 Batman lunges to hit the timer.. 0 buzz. He hits it a second too late.
JOKER
Too late Batman!
The Joker’s laughter is loud and raucous as no explosion happens. The kids and teachers rejoice and laugh. Sirens come screaming up to the scene.
BATMAN
Time to evaporate. (to the room) The authorities are here now to release you.
Batman disappears back into the Batmobile as the fog dissipates. He vanishes back into the streets as the police and fire rescue vehicles pull up.
BATMAN
That doesn’t make sense. I was a second too late. No explosion. What was the laughter about?
His police scanner jumps to life.
SCANNER
All cars, an explosion at 22 Elm. Bowie elementary has gone up in a blaze. All cars. Respond to 454 Forrest, an explosion has torn Townhome elementary apart. All cars, respond to 225 Sycamore. Daisy daycare has exploded in a ball of fire. All cars. Respond to 667 Mimosa drive, Gotham Day care has been destroyed in a massive explosion.
BATMAN
No!!!
Alarms and sirens fill the air from all directions as the Batmobile screams off into the distance.
INT. WAYNE MANOR – NIGHT
Images of destroyed elementary and Day school buildings flood the screens in front of Bruce, sitting in despair, tears running down his face.
A silver figure walks over to him and puts his hand on Bruce’s shoulder.
Bruce instinctively turns to grab the arm and remove it, but it doesn’t budge, but cuts Bruce’s hand as it slides up the gleaming metal.
BRUCE
Who? What?
He tries to stand but is held in place by the android being now standing beside him. Ali is hanging by the doorway.
ALI
His name is Robin.
BRUCE
No. I don’t need a tin can to help. This is all my fault, I will fix it.
ALI
Come on Bruce, he can give you the advantage you’ve lost. And then some.
BRUCE
Thanks but no thanks. I can do it on my own.
ALI
Alright then. Let’s put him to the test. If he passes, he’s part of the team. If he fails, well. He won’t fail.
BRUCE
Fine. My rules.
ALI
To the lab.
INT. JOKER’S LAIR – NIGHT
Joker is pacing the floor of his lair, shooting up the new mannequin of Batman.
JOKER
Stupid, stupid, stupid. What a waste of chaos! What went wrong oh winged one? I timed everythig out to the second, even built in a few to spare…
He picks up a shotgun and blasts Batman over and over as he walks up, black plastic flying with each blast until he’s point blank and demolishes what’s left.
JOKER
ANOTHER!
He storms back to the table to reload as the henchman quickly places a new Batman in place of the old one, running out of the way just before Joker blasts the new one with the the rocket launcher.
JOKER
Another!
The henchman limps out the door not quite having escaped the debris.
JOKER
Still… I suppose now I have your full attention. Let’s see you get out of this one…
Joker goes to the intercom and hits the button.
JOKER
Oh my jolly elves, listen up! We’re going ballistic this time, only we’re going to use social media to do our bidding. Hit the streams my chuckles, open the floodgates of influence. We’re going to bury the bat in shame, and then hit him where it really hurts!
Joker laughs maniacally and sends another missile screaming at the new Batman just being placed in the target zone.
KABOOM! SPLAT.
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Alice’s Act 2
INT. ELIZABETH’S APPARTMENT – NIGHT
Christmas tree. Dimmed lights.
In dark space behind window – multiple holiday lights in far distance.
Elizabeth with baby girl in hands stands, alone, contemplating holiday scene.
ELIZABETH
Yes, mama, life is so unjust!
Shrieking noise of fire alarm.
INT. LANDING OUTSIDE – NIGHT
Elizabeth locks the door.
Holding baby starts down the stairs.
On the floor above, group of people, laughing.
Walking down, they getting behind her.
Suddenly, they envelop around her, as she receives electroshock and passes out.
EXT. HOUSE UPFRONT – NIGHT
Bunch of alarmed residents looking up the house, where in one window burning Christmas tree is visible. Clouds of smoke.
Whistling of fire track. Firemen quickly work out hoses.
EXT. UNDERGROUND – NIGHT
Michael tries Elizabeth’s number, getting busy line. Curses.
Moves ahead amid people.
Suddenly, man with baby in hands almost brushes by him.
Michael notices detail, (his holyday gift), on the baby.
He starts after the stranger.
That one’s running. Michael pursues him.
Outruns, pulling by the sleeve.
Guy stops, defending. Puts baby in basket on the floor.
Knife clicks in his hand. Sharp movements as he’s brushing Michael’s clothes.
Michael keeps fronting him.
Quickly, stranger shovels Michael into stomach.
Michael folds in two, squeezing handle.
Man, escaping, vanishes running into crowd.
INT. HOSPITAL – NIGHT
Michael on the coach, unconscious.
Sad Erica Berger by Michael’s side.
ERICA BERGER
I believe that you will stand up, Michael.
INT. OFFICIAL’S CABINET – DAY
Figuerola tries to reach her authority, but meets dead wall.
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Rita has completed Act 2
What I learned:
- I don’t really like working out of order, it scrambles my brain. I had to rearrange a bunch of scenes because it wasn’t flowing. But I think I got there, or at least close.
- Not sure the last scene is the ideal mid-point scene since the antagonist is only implied, rather than part of the scene. ??
ACT 2
INT. ABERNATHY BUILDERS OFFICE – DAY
Tom’s desk holds mounds of papers. Thick contracts. Rolls of architectural drawings stand on end in the corner.
Dawn reads through every word of a multipage contract while Tom waits. He pretends to be involved in what’s on his computer but sideways glances at her.
TOM
You only have to read the list of requirements, you know. The stuff that’s in your bid, like we discussed.
DAWN
It seems like Abernathy’s covered and it’s all in your favor. What if you fall short? Is that in here too?
Tom looks at her straight on. What are we talking about here?
TOM
If I fall short? I’m testing you out before we decide on the bigger, apartment job.
Dawn puts the papers in her lap. Also looks right at him.
DAWN
Are you, I mean is Abernathy so beyond reproach? There’s no chance of any calamity in the Abernathy world?
Tom leans back and crosses his arms.
TOM
If it does, I’ll take care of it and you’ll never even know about it.
Dawn mirrors his gesture.
DAWN
That doesn’t sound very transparent.
TOM
Ask around. Nothing to hide here.
Dawn unfolds her arms for effect, lays the papers on his desk.
DAWN
Oh really? Your body language says, “closed book” if ever there was one.
Tom, now self-conscious, unfolds his arms and stands. He snatches at the contract.
Dawn slams her palm down on the pile of papers.
He tugs.
She stands to put more weight on them.
TOM
Maybe Abernathy and Blue Dawn are not a good fit.
DAWN
I didn’t say that.
TOM
Are you signing or not?
DAWN
I can’t sign if you don’t let loose.
Tom releases his grip.
Dawn flips to the last page and scribbles her signature. Thrusts the whole wad back at him.
He gathers them and gently lays them back in front of her. Now the epitome of rational behavior.
TOM
And initial each page, please.
Dawn, scratches the bottom corner of each page, keeps her full irritated, defiant scowl focused on Tom. Practically throws the contract at him.
He holds his hand out for a handshake but…
She leaves without seeing it.
TOM
(calls after her)
Thank you.
Not at all appreciative.
DAWN
Done!
TOM
Only just started, I’m afraid.
Tom plops back in his office chair. Tips too far back. His feet hit a pile of papers and send them flying.
He grabs the table behind him, flips the printer tray into the air, busting the brackets. Blank papers float to the floor.
TOM
(mimics Dawn)
“That doesn’t sound very transparent.”
He sighs and takes care of the calamity which was his office.
EXT. SMITH HOUSE – MORNING
Big house with new additions. Deck, multiple levels.
Tom and Zak circle the house, designing a plan of attack.
Dawn arrives, last one on the job.
TOM
(to Dawn)
Glad you could make it. Zak’s got the low-down.
He walks off, leaving Dawn before even a handshake.
ZAK
Whoa. Cold. Do we need couple’s counseling already?
Laughter erupts from the crew out of earshot. They all look at Dawn. Laugh harder.
DAWN
I just had a flashback to junior high.
ZAK
Nah, it’s just Todd. I keep encouraging him to go to open mic at the coffeeshop on campus.
DAWN
A comedian, is he? See, I told you I could pick ’em.
ZAK
Yeah, he’s a good balance to Crater. As in “down in the deep dark rabbit hole” if you know what I mean.
DAWN
Oh, one of those. No wonder he was using.
ZAK
But I have to say, he makes some good points.
Crater holds a horizontal paint lid, demonstrating what looks like some parabolic impossibilities for the earth’s horizon.
DAWN
Have you heard Super-dork’s story yet?
ZAK
Neverending. Typical. Estranged ex, hardly gets to see his kids. Depressed. Trying to get it together.
DAWN
Yeah, I figured. And we have to stop calling him that.
Todd yells out across the lawn as Harold brings them all buckets to sit on.
TODD
Super-dork to the rescue!
ZAK
Too late.
DAWN
And, well, Billie’s pretty obvious.
ZAK
Yeah, but all those muscles are just overcompensation for an absent father and low self esteem.
Dawn takes a step back for a good look at her student/foreman.
DAWN
Looks like my classes are being put to practical use after all.
ZAK
I’m the A student.
(claps)
Back to it!
Brushes, insults and jokes resume.
INT. BAKERY – MORNING
Dawn chats with the cashier as she buys a dozen donuts for the crew.
Laughter from a far table. Dawn looks over, smiling. She turns back quickly, grabs her purchase and makes for the door.
A man at that far table stands, it’s Dawn’s DAD (60s). He waves. Friendly face minus a few teeth. Shows his years and then some.
DAD
Dawney, over here! Come meet the boys.
Dawn sighs, puts on a fake smile and approaches the meeting of the Haggard Knights of Bullshit. Coffee is just a prop.
DAWN
Hi Dad.
DAD
Have a seat, honey. We were just–
DAWN
I’d love to but I have to get to work.
DAD
Is this the new uniform over at Allen State? They got your rolling on multicolored psychobabble now?
The Hangover High Counsel laughs way too hard.
Dawn winces.
One of the boys tips a flask, adds flavor to his coffee. Passes it to the next retired from nothing loiterer.
DAWN
Nice to meet you guys. I’ll talk to you later, Dad.
She marches out, straight back, clenched jaw.
INT. DAWN’S CAR – MORNING
Dawn pulls up to the job site, checks herself in the mirror. Red eyes. She blows her nose.
Takes a deep breath and shakes her Dad out of her.
EXT. SMITH HOUSE – MORNING
Dawn bounces up walkway, balancing the box of donuts.
DAWN
Good morning. I brought treats!
The crew looks ragged. Some aren’t wearing their company T’s. They drag ladders and tools through the dirt.
Except Billie, of course. She outdoes everybody. Always.
ZAK
Cool. Thanks, man… ma’am.
She scowls.
ZAK
Thanks Ms Dawn. We could use it.
Billie trots by curling two five-gallon buckets all the way.
BILLIE
A protein shake would be a lot more useful.
The other grumps muscle each other aside to get first dibs on their favorite carb-loaded sugar-spheres.
DAWN
What’s going on with these guys?
ZAK
They’re still in training. Serious manual labor is kind of a shock. Except for Billie, of course.
DAWN
Maybe it’s time for a group chat.
ZAK
Um, I don’t think —
DAWN
Round ’em up.
Zak calls everyone into a huddle by the van.
ZAK
So, this job is kind of important to Ms Dawn.
Dawn gives a look and steps in front of him.
DAWN
You all are important to me. What’s going on with this hang-dog look?
CRATER
What dog?
BILLIE
Fang dog? They have a dog?
She looks fragile for the first time, actually shrinks a little.
TODD
Wang Dog. Who told you my nickname?
They all chuckle.
HAROLD
Hang-dog. She means we are a sorry excuse, boys.
(a gallant bow)
And Miss Billie.
BILLIE
Jesus. Just get over it already. I’m a bigger man than all y’all put together.
(grabs her crotch)
Fang Hanging Wang Dog dog right here, losers. I’m sick of this ‘missy’ shit.
She loads her tool bag with a vengeance.
CRATER
You gonna let her talk to us like that, Boss Boy?
DAWN
Let’s all just take a breath.
She inhales, so as to demonstrate.
Crater lights a cigarette. He does indeed inhale.
And exhales in her face.
Dawn coughs. Waves the smoke away.
HAROLD
I do have my kids later. Can you give me a ride to the park?
TODD
Sounds more molesterish, than Super-dork. Maybe we got you all wrong.
Chuckles other than the tsk from Harold.
DAWN
What, exactly, is the problem. Let’s clear the air.
Zak’s eyes widen.
ZAK
How about we just–
CRATER
Yeah, let’s clear the air.
(blows more smoke)
When do we get paid? We’re workin’ our asses off.
DAWN
As agreed, we’re on a two-week pay cycle so–
TODD
My bills are due now, they’ve done ovulated and are ready to hemorrhage unless they get fertilized fast.
HAROLD
An interesting analogy, but I have to agree with young Henny Youngman here.
Todd, the tallest of the crew, towers over Super-dork.
TODD
What the fuck? Is that a dig, man?
(to Dawn)
Not only that, I should be gettin’ paid for the entertainment I provide. Even the Missus here is laughing every day. I brighten this enterprise more than the paint!
CRATER
If he gets a raise, then so do I!
DAWN
Nobody’s getting a raise!
This blows everyone’s lids.
Zak rubs his face, fallout expected.
CRATER
Fuck this shit.
Todd drops his brush as if it’s a mic.
Then picks it up, because it’s his brush.
DAWN
What is happening! Abernathy is going to —
Billie, Crater and Todd form the most sorry-assed parade ever assembled on a sidewalk.
HAROLD
Um, leave our checks at the paint store, I guess?
He runs after his not-friends to be the caboose to their pitiful procession.
DAWN
Do something, Boss Boy!
Zak steps into the van.
DAWN
Yes, go round them up.
He reappears with a brush and a gallon of trim paint. Hands it to Dawn. She slumps, not what she had in mind.
INT. ABERNATHY’S OFFICE – NIGHT
CHUCK ABERTNATHY (70s) knocks on the door frame to Tom’s office.
Tom snaps out of a blank stare.
CHUCK
I recognize that look. Subs giving you trouble?
TOM
Trying out somebody new. Not sure it’s going to work out.
CHUCK
Who is it? Do they need a pep talk from the old man?
TOM
It’s a painter. You don’t know her.
CHUCK
Her? Be careful son. Those women have a way of running you right into the ground before you even know were digging a hole.
TOM
I know, Dad. But we need a painter over on Charleston and she’s available.
Chuck sits down.
CHUCK
Available for what exactly?
Tom stands.
TOM
Okay, you’re onto me, alright. I’m checking to see if she’s trustworthy.
CHUCK
Not sure there is such a thing in that species.
TOM
She’s not Mom. Let’s get dinner.
He grabs his hat.
CHUCK
All I got to say is pre-nup. I barely saved this business from going under, as you well know. You’d be —
TOM
Running a forklift in a warehouse, I know the story.
CHUCK
Watch out is all I’m saying. Women have all manner of crafty means of distraction. We’ve got three generations in this business, don’t blow it on some little minx.
TOM
It’s one job. That’s it.
(waves papers)
There’s a contract. Let’s go.
He slaps Chuck on the shoulder on his way out.
Chuck eyeballs the papers.
CHUCK
Blue Dawn. Sounds shady to me.
EXT. ABERNATHY PROJECT – MORNING
Dawn paints a low window trim while Zak paints high.
DAWN
This will take us forever without the others. Call me The Tortoise.
ZAK
Slow and steady. Can’t say your not a painter now. I said I’s make an honest woman of you.
DAWN
Tell that to Mr Hunky Contractor. He wants this done by Friday.
ANDREA (50s) the homeowner calls to them from the deck. She’s college town upper crust, stylish even for a day at home.
ANDREA
Is it just you two today? I made a bunch of scones if you’d like some.
DAWN
That was thoughtful of you, I suppose we could take a short break but —
Zak slides down the ladder, ready to chow.
ANDREA
Where’s everyone else? I kind of miss the sound of laughter.
Zak looks at Dawn. Makes a point of filling his mouth with scone.
DAWN
Well, we’re going to keep at it but —
Zak swallows a big gulp. Chokes and coughs.
Dawn slaps his back.
ZAK
Yes, ma’am we’ll get it done for you. The crew just had to take care of another obligation today.
DAWN
Doesn’t your husband work at the college? I just saw him briefly yesterday but he looks familiar.
ANDREA
Yes, he works long hours over there, even in the summer. Financial office. That leaves me with a lot of time on my hands. So… we eat well.
Zak and Dawn exchange a knowing look, typical lonely college wife.
ZAK
Oh yeah, now I remember. I talked to him about what it would take for me to finish my degree.
DAWN
Zak’s an art major.
Andrea brightens.
ANDREA
I was too! Will you graduate this year?
ZAK
Gotta make some tuition money. Thanks for the scones.
He takes one with him and gets back to work.
Andrea pours tea into a cup, looks hopeful.
Dawn takes a seat at the patio table, sensing she needs a friendly ear.
They chat while a lone man works on a big house, on a street of bigger houses.
EXT. DAWN’S HOUSE – EVENING
Abernathy rolls up on Dawn cleaning brushes with the hose. She’s beat after a long day.
DAWN
Oh, great. Frosting on the fallen cake.
She meets him halfway down the driveway.
TOM
Cute place. Spanish cottage vibe.
DAWN
I’m guessing you don’t pay visits to all your subs.
Dawn drops her head and runs her dripping wrist across her forehead, waiting for the hammer to drop. The hose splashes Tom’s shirt.
TOM
(laughs)
No, you’re special, that’s for sure.
Dawn looks up at him, surprised and confused.
DAWN
Did you talk to the homeowner?
His expression darkens.
TOM
Yes I did.
Here it comes. Dawn straightens her spine ready to take it.
DAWN
Listen, I know we had a rough–
TOM
To be honest, I went over there to find fault in your work. I know, I’m not proud, but I can be a perfectionist, or so I’ve been told.
DAWN
So, what do you want to do?
TOM
Well, that’s why I’m here.
He looks down. Hands dig into his pockets. Fidgets.
DAWN
Am I fired?
TOM
What? No! I’m trying to work up the nerve to ask you out.
Dawn’s jaw drops.
DAWN
After going to the job site? After, you know…
TOM
I have to apologize for my behavior at the office. I recognize that I get a little defensive sometimes. It’s the business. There are a lot of marginal personalities in the construction world.
DAWN
Right, the office. Well, me too. I should know better. Truce?
They shake. That’s settled.
TOM
So after Mrs Smith was singing your praises, she can’t say enough good things, even though by my schedule the work is going a little slow.
He gauges her reaction with a direct look.
DAWN
Well, yeah, about that–
TOM
But if the homeowner is happy, that’s the biggest hurdle. That seems to be your strong suit.
DAWN
Slow but happy. We sound like a special needs operation.
TOM
It’s just that at my level of the business, I have to deal with timelines and developers don’t care about feelings.
DAWN
So, we are fired.
TOM
Well. Yes.
DAWN
Thank God.
TOM
That’s a better reaction than I expected. Did you maybe have the same idea as I did?
Dawn looks at him sideways.
DAWN
Maybe.
TOM
If we’re going to see each other, you know, I mean like… date.
It finally dawns on Dawn.
DAWN
Right! You don’t want to complicate things. I get it now.
TOM
So, how about next Friday? You will be done with the job by then, won’t you?
DAWN
I think so, yes.
TOM
Great. I wasn’t sure you would–
He backs away toward his truck. Trips over the hose.
She directs the spray near him, barely sprinkles his boots.
They wave. Goofy smiles.
DAWN
Slow but happy.
Dawn spins around, waters flowers and grass in a much better mood.
INT. PAINT STORE – MORNING
Abernathy blasts through the front door, unusually cheerful.
Frank and his clerk give each a look. Blue Dawn.
FRANK
Hey, Tom. What can I–
TOM
You recommended her but now —
FRANK
Hold on. I didn’t recommend anybody. You did that on your own.
Tom is taken aback, unused to being stood up to and by a four-eyed shorty, no less.
TOM
Didn’t you say —
FRANK
Nope.
TOM
But…
Frank gives him a raised eyebrow, waits.
FRANK
All I said is that she works at the college. You took it from there.
Tom rubs his face.
TOM
I did, didn’t I?
Clerk in the back nods emphatically plus draws curves in the air with his hands.
FRANK
She was just buying paint until she got a look at you.
Tom smiles. Just a little. It fades fast.
TOM
Wait. Are you telling me she’s like an office worker over there?
FRANK
Professor.
(grips Tom’s shoulder)
Of psychology.
Tom’s jaw drops. He shudders just a little.
TOM
But she said she was a company. Which was a lie! Was it all a lie?
Frank shrugs.
FRANK
I know her about as well as you do but she sure seems to be good with people. She gets a new paint job every time she comes in here.
TOM
But she’s a phony.
FRANK
Head office gave her an account so that’s real. LLC and everything.
TOM
Great. Dad’s gonna love this.
FRANK
No “happily ever after” I take it?
But Tom mutters fuming curses all the way out the door.
EXT. PAINT STORE – LATER
Frank hauls garbage to the dumpster. Sees Dawn talking to another customer. She waves, even more cheery than usual.
DAWN
Hi Frank, how’s it going.
FRANK
I guess you get it straightened out with Tom?
DAWN
I believe we did! Dinner next Friday.
FRANK
Really? Wow, you are smooth. Even after he found out the truth?
Dawn’s sun turns to clouds.
DAWN
What truth? When?! Frank?
FRANK
(shrugs)
It’s a small town. People talk.
DAWN
“People” huh? You guys are worse than professors with the gossip!
Dawn paces.
FRANK
You have other jobs, even if he pulls you off the Smith house.
She clutches his shoulders.
DAWN
I was pulling this off and
DAWN
(surprises herself)
kind of enjoying it actually. I can’t get fired! What do I do now?
FRANK
Keep your head down and go finish the job?
She goes back to pacing.
DAWN
Brilliant! He can’t fire me if we’re finished.
She makes a break for it.
Frank rubs his shoulder. Lifts his sleeve to see nail marks.
EXT. SMITH HOUSE – DAY
Tom pulls up to a two-person crew, one of them pretending.
Dawn sees him and bolts to the back yard, up the deck and…
INT. SMITH HOUSE – CONTINUOUS
She ducks into the family room just off the kitchen where Andrea cooks dinner, separated only by a partial wall. One chat does not warrant a home invasion.
ANDREA
Hi, Honey. Dinner’s almost ready.
Uninvited entry plus nosy contractor, now Dawn has to avoid two people. She tiptoes through but hears footsteps.
HUSBAND approaches from their bedroom.
HUSBAND
What’s that? Did you say something?
Make that three. Dawn slides behind a bookcase, getting more untrustworthy by the second.
Husband makes it to the kitchen but now Tom is on the deck. He squints upward, surveying the work.
Tom knocks on the sliding door, peers in with hands shielding reflections on the glass.
Dawn ducks behind the couch, just in time.
Husband greets Tom, slides opens the door…
Goes outside to talk.
Dawn relaxes. Thank God!
Kitchen noises.
Dawn goes back to stealth mode. She crawls toward the front of the house.
Andrea retrieves a jar from the pantry.
Dawn freezes in full sight.
Husband starts to open sliding door but Tom keeps talking.
Andrea turns up some music.
Dawn jumps to her feet, sprints to the front door. Her footsteps covered only by the radio.
Door won’t open. She fumbles with a complicated lock, plus there’s an alarm key pad. She panics.
No place to hide! She goes for it and swings the front door open, slams it shut as the alarm goes off.
EXT. ABERNATHY PROJECT
Dawn breaks the land speed record and peels out in the van while the men circle the house to see what tripped the alarm.
Zak had a good view of Dawn’s escape from a high ladder.
He covers with a shrug when the men look up at him.
INT. DAWN’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Dawn sit’s on the couch, stares at the wall.
DOORBELL.
Dawn lets Zak in.
ZAK
We need to talk.
DAWN
I agree.
ZAK
I can’t do this —
DAWN
I can’t do this.
ZAK
… Alone.
DAWN
I can’t do this at all. Obviously. We have to pull the plug. I need to come clean.
ZAK
I talked to the guys. They’re coming back. Just hold on and we’ll finish this house. Then we’ll figure out what’s next.
DAWN
Nothing is next. Certainly no date. It’s not fair to Tom. I lied.
ZAK
As for the job, maybe you can just keep yourself busy. You kind of set them off.
DAWN
Me? What did I do?
ZAK
It’s a sensitive bunch. I know the stereotypes but everyone in construction is highly emotional. Fragile, porcelain dolls on the inside.
DAWN
I thought we were actually doing it but we can’y keep this up. I feel awful. I don’t normally tell fibs let alone a giant charade like this.
Zak, looses his cool. Finally.
ZAK
Come on! Don’t you get it? This isn’t a charade. The universe is trying to tell you something.
DAWN
Turn up the volume please so I can hear the message because I blew an opportunity for a decent man. I have to ask how many times before was I the weak link?
ZAK
Just steer clear of the job for a few days. Please.
DAWN
Gladly. You’ll have to break the news to Mrs Smith. She’s lonely.
ZAK
(on his way out)
Exactly.
DAWN
What’s that supposed–
Not quite a slam of the door, but it’s a hard case closed.
Dawn plops back down on the couch. Hugs her knees. Topples over onto her side, her most useful action at the moment.
-
KAREN SINCLAIR’S FINISH ACT 2
What I learned doing this assignment is…?
What I learned doing this assignment is that, for me, it is not necessary to match each day with each day’s assignment. I was driving myself crazy trying to do that.
Instead, I try to be caught up at the end of the week, just before the live session, on all the assignments for the week and I try to write something every day.
Somedays I might write for 4-5 hours and the next day a half hour or not at all due to a schedule that includes babysitting grandchildren and taking care of my 90- and 91-year-old parents.
For example, for this assignment, Finish Act 2, I wrote to the end of Act 3. Now I will go back and make sure that my Key Scene’s for Act 2 make sense, per this week’s assignments.
ASSIGNMENT 16
Concept
Ad Exec Sadie Hilliard goes out for a noontime run to get in the right state of mind to make a presentation to her agency’s most significant client. While running, she receives a call on her cellphone threatening the lives of her and her family if she should stop running.
Theme
Sadie has never had to think about anyone but herself. Because of that, she places very little value on relationships and family. She is confident as it relates to her skills in her career but insecure as a partner and family member. Can the right person make the difference in her life or is she destined to be alone.
Act 1
Inciting Incident
In New York City, Sadie breaks up with her longtime boyfriend which has been a long time coming. She accepts a proposal from her company’s CEO that she move to Vancouver, BC, and establish a branch of the advertising agency. A partnership could be in the offering if she is successful in Vancouver.
Turning Point 1
Sadie settles into her new work life in Vancouver. On a personal front, she thinks she has met the love of her life. As is her habit, Sadie goes for an afternoon run immediately preceding a major presentation and is taken hostage by a caller through her cellphone.
Act 2
Reaction to the Turning Point in Act 1 (Key Scene 1)
Sadie is trapped but knows she must do something. She makes several obvious attempts to test the caller and see how trapped she really might be. Everything is up to her. Her old ways have her needing to figure this out to free herself.
ACT 2
EXT. STREETS – DAY
Sadie keeps running. She decides she must do something.
EXT. STREETS – DAY
BEGINNING: Sadie keeps running but realizes she must do something. She decides to test the caller by jumping up onto the sidewalk and running among walkers.
MIDDLE: Sadie receives no reaction. She slows to a walk.
END: Her phone vibrates with a text, RUN!
———————————————————————————
EXT. STREETS – DAY (CONTINUOUS)
Sadie returns to running on the road where there are less obstacles and distractions. She is deep in thought about what to do.
EXT. STREETS – DAY (CONTINUOUS)
BEGINNING: Sadie jumps back to the road, wanting to avoid obstacles and distractions so she can concentrate on what she needs to do.
MIDDLE: Every time she passes an intersection she looks to her right and sees the motorcycle with a light shining in her direction.
END: The motorcycle is moving in sync with afternoon traffic. Sadie decides she will outrun it.
———————————————————————————
EXT. STREETS – DAY (CONTINUOUS)
Sadie sprints full out. When she crosses at the next intersection she doesn’t see the motorcycle.
EXT. STREETS – DAY (CONTINUOUS)
BEGINNING: Sadie starts to sprint, all out for a block.
MIDDLE: Just as she arrives at the intersection the light turns green. She crosses the street looking to the right and doesn’t see the motorcycle.
END: She slows to a walk momentarily to catch her breath.
———————————————————————————
EXT. STREETS – DAY (CONTINUOUS)
Sadie reaches the end of the intersection and repeats the sprint.
EXT. STREETS – DAY (CONTINUOUS)
BEGINNING: Sadie sprints, all out for another block.
MIDDLE: At the next intersection, the light turns red but there are no cars crossing at that moment. She moves through the intersection, looking to the right and again, doesn’t see the motorcycle.
END: She thinks she may be in the clear.
———————————————————————————
EXT. STREETS – DAY (CONTINUOUS)
As Sadie walks the next block she dials 911 on her cellphone.
EXT. STREETS – DAY (CONTINUOUS)
BEGINNING: While walking, Sadie dials 911 on her cellphone.
MIDDLE: Her cellphone makes a funny sounds. A digitally enhanced voice breaks in…
END: NICE TRY! RUN!
———————————————————————————
EXT. STREETS – DAY (CONTINUOUS)
Sadie starts to run again. She tries unsuccessfully to engage a couple pushing a baby carriage to help her.
EXT. STREETS – DAY (CONTINUOUS)
BEGINNING: Sadie starts to run again.
MIDDLE: She runs up beside a couple pushing a baby carriage. She is out of breath from her earlier sprints but tell them that she is being held hostage and implores them to call the police.
END: The couple looks around, over their shoulder, to see who Sadie is talking to. When they realize it is them, they suddenly turn right, around a corner, without saying a word.
———————————————————————————
EXT. STREETS – DAY (CONTINUOUS)
Sadie calls after the couple. They don’t look back. The caller texts her again and attaches two short video clips of her stepchildren and her husband.
EXT. STREETS – DAY (CONTINUOUS)
BEGINNING: As the couple moves away from her, they head west, straight toward the caller. Sadie yells at the couple. They ignore her and speed up.
MIDDLE: The caller turns the flashlight off before the couple has a chance to notice them.
END: Shortly thereafter, Sadie receives a text. It includes a short video of her stepchildren playing at the park with their mother, followed by a video of Adam walking back from the mailbox to their house.
———————————————————————————
EXT. STREETS – DUSK
Sadie continues running. It starts to rain. She looks to her right at every intersection. The person on the motorbike is still tracking her and shining a flashlight at her to let her know they are there.
EXT. STREETS – DUSK
BEGINNING: Sadie continues running. It starts to rain.
MIDDLE: She looks to her right at every intersection and sees the person on the motorcycle still tracking her.
END: The flashlight continues to shine in her direction. The rain makes the light look more sinister.
———————————————————————————
EXT. STREETS – DUSK (LATER)
Sadie has been running for over two hours and needs to urinate. She has been holding it for a while.
EXT. STREETS – DUSK (LATER)
BEGINNING: Sadie has been running for over two hours. She starts to squirm as now she really needs to urinate. It is raining which gives her cover to just let the urine flow. She is already wet from head to toe.
MIDDLE: The urine runs down her legs and into her new shoes. Sadie is in agony as it hits a blister that has formed and popped.
END: Sadie clenches her teeth as she runs. She looks down. The inside of the left toe of her shoe is turning red with blood.
———————————————————————————
EXT. STREETS – DUSK (LATER)
Another hour passes.. The rain is really coming down. Sadie is thirsty but has no water. This was supposed to be a short run.
EXT. STREETS – DUSK (LATER)
BEGINNING: Out of habit, Sadie reaches down to her waist, a place where her water bottle would usually be. She didn’t bring it for this run as it was supposed to be a short one.
MIDDLE: She holds both hands up to the rain capturing a tablespoon of water from the skies.
END: She drinks the water from her hands, licks them and then holds them out again.
———————————————————————————
EXT. STREETS – DUSK (CONTINUOUS)
Sadie sucks the water out of her ponytail.
EXT. STREETS – DUSK (CONTINUOUS)
BEGINNING: Sadie pulls her ponytail around and puts it in her mouth.
MIDDLE: She squeezes her ponytail from the top and sucks the water out of her hair.
END: She flips it back.
———————————————————————————
EXT. STREETS – DUSK (LATER)
It is starting to get dark, and the rain is really coming down. Sadie’s bangs are flat against her forehead, her ponytail has fallen out, and her feet are bloody. She is a mess. Sadie decides to flag down a car. Her attempt is thwarted when a motorcycle pulls up behind her and revs its motor.
EXT. STREETS – DUSK (LATER)
BEGINNING: It is now starting to get dark, and the rain is pounding down. Sadie’s bangs are flat against her forehead, her ponytail has fallen out, and her feet are bloody. She is a mess.
MIDDLE: A car pulls up beside Sadie and they start to roll down the passenger window. Just as Sadie is about to engage them, a motorcycle pulls up behind her, revs its engine and honks its horn.
END: She blows the car off, they roll up the window and continue. The motorcycle passes her and speeds off. She realizes that they weren’t the caller but just an impatient motorcyclist trying to get home and out of the rain. The sidewalks are now deserted so she hops back up and continues running.
———————————————————————————
EXT. STREETS – NIGHT
Not able to see well in the dark, Sadie’s tired legs hit a raised panel of concrete in the sidewalk, and she takes a tumble. She can see that the raised edge of the panel is painted red, warning of the hazard. The paint was not obvious in the dark.
EXT. STREETS – NIGHT
BEGINNING: Darkness is all around.
MIDDLE: Sadie’s tired legs and feet hit a raised piece of raised concrete on the sidewalk. She takes a tumble and bangs up her knees, her elbow and her forehead which is now bleeding like a son-of-gun. She wipes her forehead with her shirt. She now looks like something out of a zombie movie.
END: Her phone vibrates. She pulls it out of her pocket. It reads, WHERE ARE YOU?
———————————————————————————
EXT. STREETS – NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)
Sadie once again drags herself to her feet.
EXT. STREETS – NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)
BEGINNING: Sadie drags herself to her feet.
MIDDLE: She is steps away from the intersection.
END: When she reaches the intersection she can see the motorcycle stopped, waiting with the ominous light shining in her direction. The caller revs the engine and they both start moving.
———————————————————————————
INT. AGENCY BULLPEN – NIGHT
Back at the office, Sadie’s team is concerned. They have everything ready and loaded in the van. The only thing missing is Sadie. They try to call her, but her phone goes direct to voice mail. They decide to head over to the client’s office and set up.
INT. AGENCY BULLPEN – NIGHT
BEGINNING: Sadie’s team has everything loaded into their van. They are standing in a huddle discussing what they should do about their missing boss.
MIDDLE: Randy assures the group that Sadie will be there as he is dialing her cellphone. The call goes directly to voice mail. Randy leaves a message telling Sadie that he and the others are taking everything to the client’s office to set up and be ready when she gets there.
END: The gang picks up their purses and jackets and heads to the van. Randy tells everyone, as they are walking out, not to say anything to the client about Sadie’s whereabouts. He is sure she will show up.
———————————————————————————
INT. AGENCY BULLPEN – NIGHT (CONTINUOUS)
As the gang is exiting the bullpen, Randy receives a call from the client telling him they are running a half hour late. If they could plan for an hour past their original time that would be great. The client will use the extra half hour to get something to eat and have something for his team as well.
INT. AGENCY BULLPEN – NIGHT (CONTINUOUS)
BEGINNING: As the gang is exiting the bullpen, Randy receives a call on his cellphone. He puts his coat and briefcase down and pulls his phone out of his pocket. Randy answers his phone.
MIDDLE: It is the client telling Randy that they are a little backed up from the presentations that had been running all day. He advises they are a half hour behind but if Randy’s team can push their timeslot out an hour, that would give the client and his team a chance to get something to eat. He promises he’ll have something for Randy’s team to eat as well.
END: Randy agrees and is relieved. His team will carry on and set up as soon as the last team finishes. That way they will have an additional half hour to strategize what they will do if Sadie doesn’t show up. Randy is now starting to get worried. He calls her one more time. The call doesn’t go through. This is not like his boss.
———————————————————————————
Protagonist Takes on A Plan and Executes It (Key Scene 2)
EXT. STREETS – NIGHT
Sadie looks at the time on her phone and realizes she is going to miss her presentation. She sees no evidence that anyone has tried to get in contact with her. She decides she needs to contact the caller directly and negotiate her freedom.
EXT. STREETS – NIGHT
BEGINNING: Sadie checks the time on her phone realizing she is going to miss her presentation. She decides she needs to contact the caller directly and negotiate her freedom. The rain is making it difficult for her fingers to text. She flips over to her recent phone calls and sees a number that she doesn’t recognize.
MIDDLE: Sadie hits the number. It starts to ring but goes directly to a voice mail with a standard response instructing her to leave a message. She leaves a message threatening that she is just about to call the caller’s bluff and stop running.
END: She puts her phone back in her leg pocket and keeps running.
———————————————————————————
EXT. VAN – NIGHT
Randy decides to take a few extra minutes to drive the van over to where he knows Sadie likes to go for a short run. He wonders if maybe she is injured or something.
EXT. VAN – NIGHT
BEGINNING: Randy takes a sudden turn with the van, deciding to quickly drive the route he knows Sadie takes when she’s going on a short run.
MIDDLE: The gang asks him what he’s doing, and he lies saying that he saw an alert on his phone about a roadblock. He drives the path and then cuts back to the main route.
END: Sadie is no where to be seen on this short route.
———————————————————————————
Not Only Does Their Plan Fail But… (Key Scene 3)
EXT. STREETS – NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)
Hearing nothing back from the caller, Sadie feels desperate. She decides she is going to jump in a cab, borrow the cabbie’s phone and call the police. Her plan backfires and she gets booted from the cab.
EXT. STREETS – NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)
BEGINNING: Receiving no response from the caller, and feeling desperate, Sadie decides she must do something drastic. She sees a cab coming up beside her. As it passes, she speeds up, bangs on the window and when the cab slows, she opens the door and jumps in the back seat with a couple who are dressed to the nines and heading for a night out on the town.
MIDDLE: The couple recoils at Sadie’s condition. Her phone starts to emit an ear-piercing sound that she can’t get to stop. She fumbles with her phone and drops it on the floor. While she is bent over retrieving it, the cabbie stops the cab, jumps out and runs around to the back passenger door. He pulls Sadie out and slams the door, runs back around, jumps in, and takes off.
END: Sadie crumbles to the ground with her cellphone in her hand. It vibrates. She takes the call and a digital voice yells, STAND UP AND RUN!
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Turning Point 2: MIDPOINT: The journey is still moving in the same direction, but the meaning has changed in a big way that shifts reality.
EXT. STREETS – NIGHT (CONTINUOUS)
Sadie drags herself up onto her feet. She slowly moves from a trudging walk to a bent-over, slow foot-dragging jog to an upright jog. Sadie realizes she has her iPod Touch that she uses to listen to music. Could this be her way out of this mess?
EXT. STREETS – NIGHT (CONTINUOUS)
BEGINNING: Sadie drags herself onto her hands and knees. She grabs a tree and pulls herself up onto her feet.
MIDDLE: Sadie puts one soggy foot in front of another as she moves from a bent-over, slow foot-dragging jog to an upright jog. She resigns herself to the fact that she will miss her presentation. And she knows that no one will believe her, ‘the dog ate my homework’ story.
END: Sadie feels something dangling and banging against her leg. She grabs a cord and realizes it is her iPod touch that she uses to listen to music. It was in her sleeve cuff but fell out when she was pulled out of the cab. The earphones are around her neck. Sadie immediately wonders how she might be able to use her iPod to get a message to Adam.
———————————————————————————
EXT. STREETS – NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)
In between intersections, Sadie opens the Facetime on her iPod touch and plugs in Adam’s phone number. It rings and Adam picks it up right away.
EXT. STREETS – NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)
BEGINNING: As Sadie runs between intersections, she slows down enough that she hopes the caller will not notice. She opens Facetime on her iPod and plugs in Adam’s phone number. He picks it up right away.
MIDDLE: Sadie starts crying and talking, trying to tell Adam what she is going through and how she doesn’t know what to do. She breaks down and is hysterical. Adam yells at her to stop screaming, catch her breath and slow down.
END: Sadie takes a beat and then realizes she is coming to an intersection. She hides the iPod in her hand and puts her hand down alongside her leg.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Karen Sinclair.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Karen Sinclair.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Karen Sinclair.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Karen Sinclair.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Karen Sinclair.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by
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Chris Dorsey Has Completed Act 2 Draft 1
What I learned doing this assignment is to continue to focus on the major turning points and to fill in the necessary scenes to lead up to those scenes.
INT. ISOLATION CELLBLOCK, PRISON COURT ROOM – DAY
Wilbert sits in a chair in the court with a Deputy Warden. The Sergeant explains Wilbert’s role in DR Court.
SEARGEANT
Alright, McNutt, all you have to do as a Peer Advocate is sit there and keep your mouth shut.
WILBERT
But what if I have something to say or I have a question?
SEARGEANT
Don’t say it, don’t ask it. This whole Peer Advocate thing is just a formality. Just some bleeding heart from the State Office making sure your rights are protected. We don’t follow it.
WILBERT
Uh, okay?
SEARGEANT
Bring in the first inmate.
Two OFFICERS bring in INMATE JOHNSON (25), shackled.
SEARGEANT
Johnson, you’ve been written up for exposure/exhibition. The female officer wrote, “Inmate Johnson, had his hand down his pants and was moving it back in forth in a rhythmic manner. How do you plead?
INMATE JOHNSON
Not guilty, sir.
SEARGEANT
So, you’re telling me my officer is lying? Come on.
INMATE JOHNSON
I’m not saying that. You see, what happened was a bee flew up my pant leg and up to my genitalia area. Like any normal person would do, I put my hand down my pants and said, “Shoo, bee. Get out of my pants.”
Inmate Johnson gestures with his hands to reenact the event.
INMATE JOHNSON
I can understand how it could look like I was masturbating, but I swear to God I wasn’t doing that.
SERGEANT
Any of you believe this?
The two Officers shake their heads “no”, barely able to contain themselves from bursting into fits of laughter.
The Sergeant looks at Inmate Johnson, who shoots the Sergeant a hopeful look. The Sergeant explodes into fits of laughter.
Inmate Johnson starts laughing.
SERGEANT
Johnson, I give you an “A” for creativity, but an “F” for you behaviors. I am going to find you guilty of —
WILBERT
If I may interject, Sergeant.
SERGEANT
What is it, McNutt?!
WILBERT
I think his explanation of what happened is totally plausible. There are a lot bees outside and some of them get into the dorm. I even got stung the other day. A bee flew up my sleeve and stung me on my arm. See …
Wilbert rolls up his sleeve and shows the Sergeant a red bug bite mark on his arm.
WILBERT
… So I think he could be telling the truth. I’m asking the court to give him the benefit of doubt and find him not guilty today. And if he does it again, you can sentence him isolation with no doubts.
The Sergeant considers for a moment.
SERGEANT
I’m going to go against my better judgment today and find Inmate Johnson not guilty. Officers, take the shackles off and cut him loose.
Inmate Johnson smiles. He can’t believe his luck.
SERGEANT
Officers, bring in the Protagonist.
Six CERT Officers escort the Protagonist from his isolation cell to the courtroom. The Officers plop him down into the seat.
SERGEANT
Protagonist, I just want to make this crystal clear. If you are found guilty today and decide to go ape shit, I have six officers waiting to pounce. Understood.
The Protagonist doesn’t respond.
SERGEANT
This is a pretty straight forward case. Do you have anything to say for yourself.
PROTAGONIST
I’m going to let my Peer Advocate speak for me.
All eyes turn to Wilbert. He stands to address the room.
WILBERT
If it pleases the court —
SERGEANT
It doesn’t.
WILBERT
He was off his mental health medications at the time of this incident. He reported to me he’s been trying very hard to do the right thing, but he missed a number of doses of his medications, which he feels caused him to behave the way he did. And for that, he is remorseful, but he was not in his right state of mind at the time.
SERGEANT
You expect me to believe all that, McNutt?
PROTAGONIST
The nurse refused to give me my medications [insert this SCENE].
WILBERT
He informed me that the nurse’s records will show he hasn’t received his mental health medications for the last two weeks.
And Mental Health Hygiene Law states that the Prison Authority should consider a lesser or nullification of a punitive sentence in these cases.
The Sergeant shakes his head, confused. He SIGHS, defeated.
SERGEANT
You’re two for two today, McNutt. Case dismissed.
INT. CELLBLOCK – LATER
Wilbert returns to the dorm as a hero. The inmates give him a new found level of respect.
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Lonnie’s completed ACT II Draft I
What I learned from this assignment: I still needed to put some placeholders in the script, since I have not yet interviewed all the people that have offered their assistance on the KSU campus. This lesson helped me with getting the main scenes “down” on paper.
(ACT II: 13 Seconds – 13 Down)
SUPER: Saturday May 2nd, 1970
EXT. DOWNTOWN – KENT, OHIO – MORNING
Town is a mess after student protests, some store windows broken. Garbage in streets. Burned down wooden stand.
A number (20-30) of KSU STUDENTS are donating their time to help with the clean-up.
Several POLICEMEN patrol the streets, some help with clean-up.
Chuck and girlfriend, KAREN RAYMOND (19), full figured, dark hair, assist in the clean up.
CHUCK
I saw this weird dude on the phone last night–
KAREN
So? Sweetie Pie, there’s a lot of weird dudes in this town right now.
CHUCK
But this guy was suspicious like no others.
KAREN
Yeah? How’s that?
CHUCK
He had a yellow trench coat on, sunglasses, and was taking pictures of some of the protestors. I started taking pictures of him, then moved closer.
They throw some broken glass into a nearby dumpster.
KAREN
You were eavesdropping? You sneak!
CHUCK
He walked over to an outside pay phone. Must have been talking to a superior of some type. Sounded like government “talk”. Creepy.
KAREN
Like what?
CHUCK
He was telling his contact that “things are really heating up…National Guard isn’t here yet…”
KAREN
(stands back)
That’s funky shit.
CHUCK
Here’s the heavy stuff: after he hung up the phone, he pulled a revolver out of his jacket pocket and checked the chamber. It was loaded.
KAREN
Get out! You need to report this to the police. Did you get a pic of that?
CHUCK
Yeah.
KAREN
Get that to the police, Babe, like right now!
CHUCK
That’s the plan.
An old garbage truck pulls up and Chuck helps load garbage bags full of trash, along with some burnt plywood onto the truck.
Chuck walks over to A POLICEMAN (40ish) patrolling and helping with the clean-up.
CHUCK
Officer, I’d like to report an incident last night, actually two that I overheard that might be of concern.
POLICEMAN
(reluctant)
OK, what do you have?
CHUCK
There was this weird guy in an orange jacket over there at that outside pay phone. He was telling someone…very serious conversation–that “things were heating up”, and, “Guard isn’t here yet”, and then he pulled out a revolver and checked the chambers. It was loaded.
The policeman did not seem at all surprised, but pulled out a small notebook, looked around, then took a few notes.
POLICEMAN
OK, son, we’ll look into it. What’s your name?
CHUCK
That’s it? Want me to go to the station and report this? I’m Chuck–Chuck Baker.
POLICEMAN
No, I got this. Much appreciated.
CHUCK
Oh yeah, I overheard another student say they were burning down the ROTC building tonight. Will you let Chief Thompson know.
POLICEMAN
(smirk)
Oh, yeah, we hear that all the time. Sure, I’ll tell the Chief.
He looks around. Sees a traffic jam.
POLICEMAN
Excuse me–I’ve gotta’
get this car moving up.
Puzzled, Chuck walks back over to Karen, who’s sweeping more glass on the sidewalk.
KARE
What’d he say?
CHUCK
He didn’t seem concerned at all. Something’s up with these policemen…this town.
KAREN
Sweetie, you might need to go to the station and report this stuff yourself. Get those pics developed.
CHUCK
You’re right, I’ll track this guy myself. There’s something strange about this, because the cop acted like he knew this weird guy with the gun. The campus photo lab is closed until Monday, so no pics till next week.
Chuck bends over with a large dust pan and helps Karen with some more broken glass.
Place holder: Chuck goes to Mayor’s office -Mayor Leroy Satrom. He warns about the ROTC bldg burning that night. They are disinterested. Chuck is deflated.
Placeholder: Is there a subversive plan that the authorities are in on? Why would the police and mayor not take heed to the warnings about a suspicious guy with a gun? Or, talk of burning down the ROTC building on KSU campus?
FLASHBACK FROM NARRATOR:
INT. 1956 CHEVROLET SEDAN – NIGHT
JEFFREY (V.O.)
Our generation went through a lot…much more than most today realize. We didn’t have any reference points. It was a bit scary at times. We were on new turf. If you were anti-war was to be anti-patriotic. I had some intense moments to be sure–
THREE YOUNG COLLEGE BOYS (19) and a driver, Jeffrey Shelton, pull into the snow-packed parking lot of a rural bar. Lot half full of Ford pick-up trucks.
Jeffrey a has pony tail, army jacket, and “John Lennon” glasses.
Front seat passenger, ROBBIE, large, muscular college football player turns around to Jack Stidham and DARYL CLEVELAND. Daryl, short, athletic, highly intelligent.
JEFFREY
So what is it? Strohs? Bud?
ROBBIE
Strohs for me!
JACK
I’m in for anything. Heck bring out some chics.
ROBBIE
Yeah, beer and chics, what’s better on a Friday night. I got a game tomorrow. Toleod’s in town, so chics are better than beer.
JEFFREY
I’ll get a couple 8-packs.
EXT. PARKING LOT – NIGHT
Jeff jumps out of car, heads to the country bar.
INT. BAR
Jeff finds a seat at the bar. No bartender. Looks at MAN, 30-something, baseball hat, depressed, next to him.
JEFFREY
Know if they have carry-out here?
MAN AT BAR
I don’t know, and I don’t give a good God damn!
He stares down the hippie-looking Jeffrey, who ignores his attempt at conflict. Turns to arriving BARTENDER.
Attractive FEMALE BARTENDER (30ish) arrives, very cordial.
BARTENDER
Can I help you?
JEFFREY
Have carry-out?
BARTENDER
Sure do, Sweetie, whata ya need?
FOUR MEN (40ish) in crew cuts at table behind the driver are doing cat calls and whistles at the driver. Driver ignores.
MAN AT TABLE
Didn’t make it to “Nam” did you, you hippie-fag.
Jeffrey ignores the hostile moves.
JEFFREY
Can I have two, 8-packs of Stroh’s?
BARTENDER
You got it.
LAUGHTER from the table behind driver. Everyone in bar stares.
Jeffrey sits, stares straight ahead, taps foot nervously. Anticipates getting jumped from behind by the four men.
Bartender brings two 8-packs of Strohs beer, Jeff pays in cash. Picks up the sack and heads to the door.
SLOW MOTION: One man at the table gets up and kicks Jeffrey hard in the back of the leg. Jeffrey ignores–keeps walking.
JEFFREY (V.O.)
I knew that if I could get to the door I could outrun anyone of these assholes. And I knew if I could get to the car, we’d have an even go at it. I had three buddies, and one could whip all four of these dudes.
EXT. BAR
The four men race out the door, following Jeffrey. Jeffrey runs with his beer to toward the car. Slips a bit on the icy snow.
EXT. BAR PARKING LOT
Lost in laughter, Jeff’s friends in the car don’t notice him running out.
JEFFREY
(yells)
Hey! Open the door, I got company.
One man from bar tackles Jeff. The other three stand over him.
Immediately, Robbie slowly gets out of car. He stands 6’3” very muscular. He rubs his hands together.
ROBBIE
Just what I need for a pre-game warm-up.
He races over and shoves all three to the ground. Jack and Daryl jump out. Immediately, there are four fights going on, mostly four matches rolling the nearby snow drifts of the parking lot.
JEFFREY (V.O.)
All four of us had played football in high school or wrestled…we were still in decent shape. We always had each other’s back…something about loyalty back then. There were no knives or guns to worry about–that was below every man’s integrity when there was a scuffle.
Fists fly. No one seriously hurt.
LOUD GUNSHOT ECHOES THROUGH THE PARKING LOT.
A short, bearded man (60) in farmer jeans and old baseball hat, the BAR OWNER, points the gun at Jeffrey, then walks up and points at Robbie.
BAR OWNER
Now you fuckin’ kids get in that junk heap Chevy of “yurs” and get the hell out of here if you know what’s good for ya.
All eight stand up, dust off the snow. Robbie stares at one man from the bar.
ROBBIE
We live at the end of Martin St, Muncie, why don’t you come over sometime and we’ll finish this the right way. You think you are such a bad ass–
MAN FROM BAR
Fuck you, Punk.
They head toward each other, but bar owner fires another shot in the air.
Jeffrey grabs Robbie.
JEFFREY
Let’s go Robbie. It’s not worth it, that old man just might shoot us.
DARYL
You mean “happy finger”?
JEFFREY
I guess being a physics major with good grades and athlete is a bad thing around here.
Bar owner fires a fourth shot, this time at their feet.
BAR OWNER
I said outta here shits! Next one’s to ur head.
Jeffrey picks up the sack of beer, a few broken bottles, but still intact, and the other three jump in the car, with only a few scrapes. Car slips and slides out of the icy parking lot.
Bar owner lowers his gun. Turns to the four from the bar.
BAR OWNER
Now you four get in there, pay your bill and get home. What are you
doing out here fighting for Christ’s sake? BILLY, You should be home with your family. THOMAS JOHN DAILY, get home. Tell your mom I’ll be there in an hour. Tomorrow’s Thanksgiving for Christ’s sake, she might need some help gettin’
things ready.
Placeholder: Boys talk in car on way home. Jeff plays drums back at his house.
EXT. KSU CAMPUS – DAY
Helicopters buzz the campus. Armed guards are scattered around the campus. Guns with bayonets. Jeeps running around.
Placeholder: Allison Krause with flower in gun
Placeholder: Sandy Sheurer, Jeff Miller, William Shroeder– give some background on their activities this day, 5/2/70
INT. MAYOR’S OFFICE – KENT, OHIO – DAY
Kent Mayor – Leroy Satrom — calls Ohio Governor’s office (Rhodes). Requests National Guard to come to KSU.
Placeholder: SDA meeting at the ”bell” around noon
INT. REMOTE OFFICE – SOMEWHERE IN D.C. – NIGHT
In a small office with large copy machine are TWO men (40ish), and a YOUNG BOY (13). They are running copies of a large stack of papers. Placing each original on the machine, one at a time.
The copies are stacked to the side. The three stacks are very tall.
INT. CAFETERIA – KSU CAMPUS – DAY
Karen and Chuck, disheveled, finish dinner, slurp their coke. Chuck pulls up a wrinkled newspaper from an adjacent chair. Scans front page.
CHUCK
I can’t believe this!
KAREN
Now what?
CHUCK
This jerk of a President is calling us bums. Says we’re blowing up campuses.
KAREN
What?
CHUCK
Check this out.
He reads.
CHUCK
Nixon said, “You see these bums, you know, blowing up the campuses.”
Karen is astonished.
CHUCK
He goes on to say, “they’re burning books, hell, get rid of the war there will be another…”
He slowly folds the paper, drops it back on the adjacent chair. They stare at each other.
KAREN
I can’t believe that asshole. Hey, let’s see what’s going on out there. Wonder if anything’s gonna really happen to the ROTC building.
CHUCK
Rumor from the SDS group is that all of the ROTC sites on the campuses around the country are just offices designed to spy on the students.
KAREN
FBI?
CHUCK
Dunno. Probably. Could just be the military.
EXT. KSU CAMPUS – DAY
Helicopters buzz overhead of students.
National Guard are everywhere–armed with M1 rifles with long bayonets.
Students gather in peaceful protest at the “bell”, some near the ROTC building, as sun sets.
ONE FEMALE STUDENT walks up to a young GUARDSMAN.
FEMALE STUDENT
Hey, Cutie.
She flashes her bare breasts at him.
FEMALE STUDENT
What’s your wife doing while you’re here watching us? Huh?
Guardsman ignores her.
Other MALE STUDENTS yell obscenities at the guard.
MALE STUDENT #1
What the fuck are you doing on our campus, jerk?
MALE STUDENT #2
Get out! You’re not wanted here!
Chuck and Karen stroll with a large group headed to the “bell”, but notice another group forming at the ROTC building. All are peaceful except for 5 or 6 who yell obscenities at the guard.
Chuck nods toward the ROTC building, and pulls out his camera. They walk briskly to the ROTC.
EXT. ROTC BUILDING – KSU CAMPUS – NIGHT
A group of about 100(check Michener) gather at the ROTC building.
A handful of Guardsmen stand in the area around the ROTC building. No police on site, neither campus police or Kent police.
Two young men start throwing moltoff cocktails into the building, a fire starts.
The building is vacant. No one tries to put out the fire.
It smolders, then goes out in a few minutes.
CHUCK
Clearly, our warnings to the police and mayor didn’t do shit.
KAREN
Somebody wanted that building burned. Somebody downtown.
CHUCK
Or higher up the food chain.
A few minutes later, a younger boy comes up throws another flame or cocktails into the building this time, it is sustained. Fire starts engulfing building.
Chuck notices the suspicious other photographer and takes pics of him, ash the suspicious guy takes pics of the students–not the fire.
Firemen arrive and start pulling out their hoses, but some of the radicals turn off the water, and even try and cut the fire hoses.
One student “hatchets” one fire hose, cutting it.
The large FIRE CHIEF walks up to one of the PROFESSORS present.
FIRE CHIEF
I’m pulling my men out. They’re at risk here, and with no police, I have to protect them. Where is the police anyway?
PROFESSOR
I don’t know….I just don’t know. We’ve put calls in several times to the station downtown. We’ve put in calls to the campus police as well. Nothing.
The National Guard quarantined off the building as it burns to the ground.
Chuck continues to take pics of burning building, and suspicious man.
INT. OVAL OFFICE – WHITE HOUSE – WASHINGTON D.C. – NIGHT
President Nixon holds the phone with feet propped up.
NIXON
Let me get this straight, Rhodes, you got students who burned down a building there, a government facility?
INT. STATE HOUSE – COLUMBUS, OHIO – NIGHT
OHIO GOVERNOR RHODES sits straight up in his office in Columbus, holds phone close.
RHODES
(uptight)
Yes, Mr. President. I’m hot and at my wits end with these kids.
NIXON
These kids need to know who’s in charge there. Make sure those guards have live ammunition in those M1s.
RHODES
Yes, Sir. You got it.
NIXON
And, Rhodes, you’re the Governor…you know what to do.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Lonnie Nichols.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by
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I haven’t been posting after each assignment, but I did finish Act 2 two days behind. Still, the process has been going well, as I’ve been writing at least some pages every day. I wanted to cover two lessons on Thursday, and the Beat Sheet plus cool stuff just coming into being as I was writing on Wednesday made it easy to breeze though and get a little caught up.
At any rate, moving forward each day. This was an idea I first tried to write 25 years ago–twice–and got stalled around p. 40 each time. I’ve flown past that now, and every day I understand the story and the characters a little better. No stalling out this time.
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Jane Has Completed Act 2 Draft 1
By doing this assignment I began to see how this contained film could be made more exciting and dangerous. I got rid of the repetition of changing clothes and such so those bits of business are not cluttering up the story flow. My script is still very vague but I think the bones are getting put in place. The next draft will allow some more tension as the characters get more developed.
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I learned climax scene from where you cannot come back. Also, the midpoint.
INT. LEE COUNTY – ANDREW BEDROOM – MORNING Jeff unlock the door and tries to open it. It’s lock from inside. Andrew sobs takes turn and sleeps back. Andrew yawns and give ear to a continuous knock and wakes up with jerk when he sees school bus going. He forgets about the knock. Jeff shouts. JEFF O.S Open the door! I said “open the door”! you m.f
Andrew runs toward the door and unlock the bedroom door while trembling. Jeff abuses Andrew. JEFF, you want to escape again! ANDREW (Sobbing) No, I don’t sir! Jeff slaps on Andrew’s face. Andrew’s almost cries.
EXT. INT. SHOP – LEE COUNTY – MORNING Robinson friends DAVIDSON and SHEILA . They Stop at Jeff shop. They enter the shop and pickup two drinks and cigarette. Sheila looks at the boy. Andrew smiles. Jeff in the corner notice woman. Show knife to Andrew from the corner. He Walks toward counter. JEFF Please go in .clean The bathroom. Andrew follows. Jeff takes money from the couple. The Robinson friend walks out. Jeff watches them going out. He Smokes.
EXT. INT. LEE COUNTY – ROBINSON FRIEND FAMILY CAR – DAY The couple walk out and get inside their car. Sheila opens the drink. They drive off. SHEILA Have you noticed that boy looked exactly like Andrew. May be he is Robinson son, Andrew. He Smile at me. DAVIDSON Their son was died in hurricane. He was also a nicely dressed person not like this boy. SHEILA Maybe I am wrong. But to me he looks like Andrew.
. DAVIDSON No, not possible! He is not a Jesus. If he is Andrew he should talk to us. SHEILA We are going to see Robinson family shortly. DAVIDSON And you are going to tell them your son are alive. He is Jesus Davidson smile.
TURNING POINT.
wife get sick she is admitted to the hospital. Finding nobody at home. Andrew break the front window. pick up money from jeff cupboard and escape. After number of obstacles, he reaches home. Finds stranger in the house. While jeff catches him and bring him back.
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Philip Has Completed Act 2
What I learned doing this assignment is that the story was a bit light on the villains plan so I added some plot points
Antagonist
Scene 1: Reaction to the Turning Point.
Confides in Toady to leave nothing to chance to defeat Dmitri.
Continues the search for Virginia
Scene 2: Protagonist makes a plan and executes it.
Arranges prestige gig to undermine the bands confidence, gets Toady to pull the plug on sound etc
Gets Toady to follow Dmitri
Scene 3: Not only does their plan fail, but…
The band adapt to the challenges and emerge stronger, so Toady is impressed
Toady realises Virgina loves Dmitri
Scene 4: Turning Point = Midpoint.
Raises the stakes to increase the risk and reward. Ensures the band members are included in the contract
and offers a way out for Virginia
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Day 16 Finish Act 2
James Has Completed Act 2 Draft 1
What I learned doing this assignment is… although my lead characters are literally from different socio-economic worlds, it is this difference that oddly enough attracts them. They both have reservations on proceeding with their relationship, yet a form of curiosity to learn more about each other compels them to a future together. The second act ends in a horribly surprising moment for the male lead causing the female lead to take charge of damage control for the health of their rapport.
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Laura Woodworth Has Completed Act 2 Draft
What I learned doing this assignment is that – I need to keep moving. I’m a little stumped right now but feeling like moving on to the next section/assignment is what I need to do now. Thinking and processing ideas…
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Alex has Completed Act 2 Draft 1
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” I can get back in after a break.
I was gone for over a week, did have short attempts to get back in during the Berlin Film Festival, but could not divide my attention that well. Going back in today, I might have spent a bit too much time with 2-1 instead of moving on, trying to fix details… but am moving forward to 2-2 now.
Key Scene 1: Reaction to the Turning Point. The Old Ways are not enough.
INT. OONA’S ROOM
Oona is awoken by Bernhard apologizing (is she still visible to him? Or do they just hear each other speaking?)
Tries to get rid of him by doing Yoga. Standing on head. Listening to loud music. Exorcism dancing.
Barbara opens and asks what’s going on.
Oona says nothing and quickly closes the door.
INT. OONA’S FLAT – KITCHEN
Oona wants to tell her mother what happened but doesn’t want to get her worried… (or get herself committed again)
Barbara is not thrilled with Oona’s new friend choice…. questions if Rosemary is the right kind of person for Oona to be hanging out with.
Oona feels misunderstood. AND has bigger problems: A male voice from 1850 inside her head!!
OONA: You always want me to have a friend and now that I have one, you’re not ok with my choice?
Barbara bites her tongue.
Oona: I can hear you think you know! Your silence is deafening. (The voices in my head are NOT haha)
Oona is furious: First she’s a problem because she’s a loner, now she has the wrong friend.
No wonder her father didn’t want anything to do with her/them.
Oona decides to go for a run in the forest.
LENZBURG FOREST – 2024
Oona runs through the forest – focussing on something that’s real.
LENZBURG FOREST – 1850
Shocked by his own behavoir of leaving a girl in the snow to die, Bernhard is having a good boy phase.
He has taken a steady job as mason and has been staying out of trouble.
EXT. LENZBURG – 2024
Oona crosses the street, almost gets hit by a car. Bernhard yells at her and saves her life (he doesn’t tell her he can see through her eyes!)
After trying to silence Bernhard, Oona decides to play along.
They define ground rules.
Bernhard convinces Oona he means no harm. (For now). But wants to help her. Like a genie with one wish? He feels she is the Schutzengel he has been dreaming about.
What can he help her with? Selbstbewusstsein!
She does not tell him he will die. But what things from his history can she prove to him?
Key Scene 2: Protagonist makes a plan and executes it. NEW TALENTS
Oona decides to let Bernhard help her boost her confidence.
At first, Bernhard only HEARS… later he can also SEE 2024.
Oona starts seeing 2024 through Bernhard’s eyes, rewarding her with a new paradigm of reality.
She is never alone again! (Does that bug her?)
INT. SCHOOL 2024
Oona takes a history test 1848.
INT. SCHOOL 1850
Bernhard runs to his brother the teacher to get the answers.
Oona aces the test. Hot teacher is floored by details. Asks her to stay on… she was always a nerd, but now has this ear for detail.
INT. SCHOOL 2024
Rosemary feels bad about giving Oona drugs and avoids her.
Oona gets bullied by a boy and gives him a Bernhard comeback (threat?)
Plays poker? (What else can we do with a second set of eyes? Or can he only see through her eyes?)
PLACE HOLDER – MODERN WORLD MONTAGE
Philosophical FUN AND GAMES explaining 2024 to an alien from 1850. Excess, Opulence, Porn,
Possible Places: MIGROS, ATM, CARS, MOVIES, EMAIL, EMAIL SCAMS Prince gives you millions.
PLACE HOLDER
Bernhard’s comments sharpens Oona’s senses, gives her ideas for TWINSTA posts.
She deletes the Blackout one Rosemary told her to do and turns to: Twinsta Series: Cos play DAUGHTER OF THE REVOLUTION… WHERE DID WE GO WRONG?
Her comments on Lenzburg 1850-2024 are benign philosophy, economics, social responsibility… not yet activism.
She has cultural followers… people that are interested in museums, history, taking tours.
EXT. LENZBURG – DAY PARADIGM SHIFT
Oona explains and re-discovers Lenzburg 2024 with Bernhard (with the filming experience she has learned from Rosemary)
Oona is the healthiest she has ever been – even if she doesn’t sleep enough.
INT. MAYOR OFFICE LENZBURG – DAY
Tourists arrive from out of town Switzerland… even Austria and Germany… the US…
Oona becomes Nr 1 on Trip Advisor and Travel Channels
Tourists are flooding the town. Hotels are booked out.
Mayor office tries to understand why.
INT. SCHOOL –
Hot teacher wants to introduce Oona to German journalist friend of his from Zurich (WATSON? NZZ?): UTA UNGERMANN.
Oona has IMPOSTER SYNDROM and says no.
Rosemary is jealous. And feels guilty.
Oona has been spending less time with her, has excuses for being busy.
PLACE HOLDER – BERNHARD MATTER DMs START BLOWING UP
JOURNALISTS hound Oona on DM, want interviews, Podcasts invite her, Radio stations (… she considers doing one if she does not have to show her face?)
She is being offered products to promote and endorse.
INT. LIBRARY
Rosemary follows Oona to the library. Learns Oona is posting as Bernhard. (R-Mary does not follow travel channels after all, ha)
Confronts her.
Oona admits ever since that night, Bernhard has been speaking to her – first she wanted to exorcize him, but then they started getting along.
Rosemary speaks to Bernhard.
PLACE HOLDER
Rosemary anonymously tells Journalist Uta Ungermann the Influencer is a local Lenzburg girl.
PLACE HOLDER – TROUBLE IN PARADISE
Peace does not last.
Bernhard is getting riled up with all the ‘look don’t touch’.
He wants to go to the fancy places, wants to experience The Big Life.
With all this insane wealth and opulence, why doesn’t Oona get hers?
Why was he born in a destitute time. Why can’t he come to 2024… Oona came to 1850 after all.
He tries to influence Oona to take bigger risks / think criminal thoughts.
Tries to get her to be more like Rosemary the Gangster Moll. Shames Oona?
They start fighting a lot (schizophrenic yelling to herself on the street)
PLACE HOLDER
Oona thinks maybe she can help Bernhard/shut him up and takes him to her mother’s AA meeting.
So far Bernhard has only seen Barbara through the eyes of her avoidant daughter.
INT. AA MEETING – DAY
Bernhard falls in love with Barbara, the Delinquent Savior… and becomes obsessed she could repair him.
Barbara 2024 reminds him of Barbara 1850 and all he has lost.
He begs Oona to tell her mother about him so they can take a meeting.
Oona refuses to admit to her mom she is a full blown (but controlled) schizophrenic.
PLACE HOLDER
Oona and Rosemary have a falling out about how to use POWER – what to post.
The essence of Bernhard is BEING BAD and HAVING FUN.
Rosemary wants to do Crime Stories… and commit new crimes… how fun would that be.
Key Scene 3: Not only does their plan fail, but…
PLACE HOLDER – IN THE MEANTIME IN 1850
Influenced by the luxury to be had in 2024, Dark Bernhard rises again.
Commits a crime. (Is this the SMUGGLER PHASE???)
Plans to escape Aargau for the US.
Tries to get Barbara and his young daughter to go with him. She refuses. It’s too late. She no longer believes him. And has been in jail twice because of him. And she is seeing someone else.
Bernhard begs his father for the money to go to the US. Ready to board ship in Le Havre. But doesn’t pass the health test – idiot slept with prostitutes on the trip through Paris and gotten a venereal disease. And idiot that he is he goes home to Lenzburg.
PLACE HOLDER
Pressured by Rosemary, Oona accepts endorsements for free swag.
Her whole apartment is filled with boxes. Barbara wants to know WTF is going on.
She confronts Rosemary and agrees to protest something and rally followers.
If anything, they should use the power for good.
Oona has ‘a seance’ with Bernhard in front of Rosemary.
They get along thick as thieves!
Rosemary jests how fun it would be to sneak into the JVA.
PLACE HOLDER
They liberate a pig farm. (Maybe with help of the Juvenile Delinquents on leave?)
PLACE HOLDER
BENIGN HEIST (Rob something, steal Blocher’s paintings)
PLACE HOLDER 1850
Bernhard is captured (because he is occupied too much in 2024?) and goes to jail.
PLACE HOLDER
In the middle of the HEIST Oona freaks out because she can no longer hear Bernhard… because he is in jail.
Does she tell Rosemary? They have a really close call with the police.
Midpoint Turning Point
Key Scene 4: Turning Point = Midpoint – There’s a huge change in meaning!
PLACE HOLDER 2024
Rosemary tells Journalist Uta she herself is the local girl posting as Bernhard Matter.
She needs Bernhard at her side for her goal to be a gangster moll.
PLACE HOLDER 2024 – ROSEMARY WANTS TO REPLACE OONA (is Bernhard on board with this or not?)
Oona is glad Bernhard is gone. Life can go back to normal.
She tells Rosemary Bernhard is gone. (Maybe even admits it to her mother?)
Rosemary convinces Oona to go back to 1850 to check on him… since he will be executed soon.
Would Rosemary be willing to get rid of Oona/send her to her death?/ Does Rosemary try to go to 1850 herself?
(Good for end when Barbara goes with Oona – we establish it can’t be done)
Oona struggles. Especially since she doesn’t know what caused the trip in the first place… Rosemary does.
They try a bunch of things – but have to go to the Club again?
PLACE HOLDER 2024
Rosemary gets Oona drunk and slips her the ecstasy again. Oona is walking/talking in her sleep.
Rosemary is channeling Bernhard through an unconscious person (wow lol würg???) – she is like a rag doll, they are abusing a person not in control – kinda like Garp. Bernhard gives Rosemary instructions to break out the juvenile delinquents. DO YOU MATTER GANG.
PLACE HOLDER 1854
Oona lands in 1854 and speaks with Bernhard in jail? Or is he no longer in jail because he is being sentenced (we could have a court scene?)
PLACE HOLDER 2024
Rosemary hacks Oona’s TWINSTA account and starts posting Do You Matter Challenges.
EXT. JVA
With the help of Bernhard Oona channeling, Rosemary liberates ALPHA and BETA from JVA and is finally the Gangster Moll she always wanted to be.
PLACE HOLDER
Oona learns to gain control of the sleep traveling.
-
30-Day Screenplay Lesson 16: Finish Act 2
What I learned doing this assignment is… Wow, that was fast!
Bonnie Has Completed Act 2 Draft 1
ACT 2
INT. MYKA’S LOFT – DAY
Key Scene 1: Reaction to the Turning Point.
Myka wakes up and starts to go straight to her OLD WAYS… and soon realizes that her OLD WAYS ARE NOT WORKING. Tension, conflict and stakes escalate to a new level. Outside her comfort zone. She is locked in and there’s no going back.
BEGINNING: Myka gets out of bed, makes coffee and adds a shot of brandy. As she holds it to her lips, she glances down at the floor and sees the eviction notice in shreds and gasps.
MYKA
Oh, shit.
She tosses the drink down the drain, pours a fresh cup of black coffee and sits down in slump in front of her multi-sensory, painting-music creation, looking uninspired.
Her phone BUZZES.
INSERT: Phone caller ID shows ARTSY BITCH.
She picks up.
MYKA
Yeah, what is it? Haven’t you ruined me enough?
She stands walks over to the window, takes a swig of coffee.
ARTSY BITCH
That mouth of yours and
Your temper tantrums are
What got you in trouble
In the first place, Myka.
MYKA
It didn’t help that you
Plastered memes of me
all over social media.
ARTSY BITCH
I’m offering you a chance here. Apologize for your outburst at the gallery and I might decide not to press charges.
(huffs)
And I need you to pay for damages.
MYKA
Really? Apologize? Wow. Even if I wanted to cover costs, which I don’t, I can’t even pay my rent
because… YOU DROPPED MY ASS!
She clicks off.
INT. MYKA’S LOFT – NIGHT
MIDDLE: Myka sits in bed, scrolls through social media, reliving her recent tirade at the gallery, now with sober eyes.
INSERT: Laptop screen shows memes of her meltdown at the gallery, destroying her own work and shouting insults at the gallery owner.
Her expressions go from horror to amusement to looking away with disgust and disbelief.
MYKA
Yow, that was me? How am I ever going to crawl out of this hole?
Shuts the laptop and flops back on her pillow, closes her eyes but immediately snaps them wide open when a foul smell wafts under her nose intercut with chunky brownish green, textured streams of color spiraling in front of her sight.
Scenes from her nightmare of the crumbling Multiversity play before her eyes in overlapping colors, forms, sounds and images. Visible scents of mold and dust accost her senses. Flame and ash attack her taste buds and the skin on her arms.
Floods of liquid color splash across masterpieces before her eyes, each tasting like acrid rotting fruit. She gags, brushes away the insects nibbling at her nose.
Myka snaps herself out of it, the dream memory dissolves.
MYKA
How can I fix this? My dreams, my inspiration… God, everything is fading away.
EXT. MYKA’S LOFT – NIGHT
END: Myka empties brandy and wine bottles into the gutter, tosses them into trash bin. As she throws in the last of them, she glances across the street.
A few people are entering the side entrance of a church.
INT. CHURCH – NIGHT
Myka goes to an AA meeting, stands in back, looks around at the addicts seated in the room, turns and walks out.
INT. MYKA’S LOFT – DAY
She works on a piece combining music, color and scent, but looks frustrated.
MYKA
This isn’t working.
Stops recording. Closes the bottles of scents. Tosses everything on the floor in frustration.
Myka opens her laptop, searches galleries and theaters. Dials one of them on her phone.
VISIONS GALLERY DIRECTOR (V.O.)
(cool female voice)
Visions gallery.
MYKA
Yeah, hi, this is Myka —
VISIONS GALLERY DIRECTOR (V.O.)
(chuckles)
It’s a hard pass, hon, everybody’s seen your memes.
Director hangs up.
MYKA
Of course they have, bitch. Wait, maybe an out of the way theater?
She dials.
THEATER EVENTS PLANNER
(male voice)
Events. We’re booked through summer, if you’re asking.
MYKA
I’ve got a multisensory —
THEATER EVENTS PLANNER
Name?
MYKA
Uhh, well, I’ve shown my work at —
THEATER EVENTS PLANNER
Look, lady, we’re not taking new artists. Are you a name?
MYKA
Never mind, asshole. Who needs your dumb theater anyway?
Myka hangs up and opens a file of photos of Gabi, Yuri and Rafi from college. Scrolls through with pained expression.
MYKA
God, I was such a shit to you guys… and the Committee and, not to mention, Artsy Bitch.
Slams laptop shut.
MYKA
I make a mess of everything. I’ve got to get out of here… now.
She tosses the remaining scraps of her project into a box, grabs her bag and laptop and flies out the door.
EXT. CAFÉ – DAY
They’re concerned about Myka, talk about staging a possible intervention. They argue and can’t agree what to do. Nothing is decided. They’re still hurt because of the way she left things with them.
Gabi, Yuri and Rafi sit at an outdoor table over coffee.
GABI
You saw the memes of Myka at her opening. I’m concerned about her.
YURI
Just how many meltdowns can one person survive?
GABI
She’s Myka. It takes practice.
RAFI
How are we supposed to help her if she won’t even talk to us?
Long silence while they drink their coffees.
GABI
We stage an intervention.
YURI
Seriously, Gabi? After the way she left things with us?
RAFI
I sometimes wake up hearing her screaming at the Committee even after all this time.
YURI
I don’t know, Gabi. She’d probably just yell at us and walk out. We’d be her collateral damage… again. Why waste our time and energy?
GABI
So we just do nothing then.
EXT. VAN – DAY
Myka jumps in her van and heads out on the highway.
INT. VAN – NIGHT
Myka drives along a one-lane country road, turns off onto a dirt road leading into the woods, parks and gets out.
EXT. WOODS – SAME
Myka treks through thick brush for several yards, past a “No Trespassing” sign, until she comes to a big old tree with a broken ladder leading up to the top.
INT. TREEHOUSE – NIGHT
Myka climbs up the rickety ladder precariously attached to the trunk of the tree. As she puts her weight onto one of the rungs, her foot falls through. She catches herself with one hand grasping the floor of the treehouse.
She crawls inside. As she gazes around, remnants of the past flood her memory. She brushes the dust and leaves off a yoga mat on the floor and lies down. She gazes out the window across the treetops. Tears well up and she falls asleep.
MYKA’S DREAM
Myka lands on a sandy beach in a hidden cove in a red hot air balloon.
Yuri emerges from a dark cave in the side of the cliff.
Rafi arrives in a little green rowboat.
Gabi flies magically through the air, landing on soft sand.
They gather in front of a shiny golden, multistory building with curved and straight architectural features, windows of many colors, stairways and ramps leading to various levels.
THE MULTIVERSITY engraved across the arched stone entrance.
The ground begins to shake, rocks fall from the cliffs, giant waves crash against the shore. The Multiversity begins to crumble, windows blow out shattered glass.
As the four huddle together, the dream dissolves into tiny particles of light and blows away in the wind.
END OF MYKA’S DREAM
INT. TREEHOUSE – DAY
A gust of wind blows a flurry of leaves through the window, waking Myka.
MYKA
I miss you guys so much. I don’t think I can do this alone.
SEVERAL SHOTS:
She sweeps the floor, lays out the mats, dusts off the shelves, organizes the mismatched cups and bowls.
Grabs a hammer and box of nails, takes a nostalgic look around before cautiously descending the broken ladder.
She gathers pieces of wood that have fallen from the tree and repairs each step until it’s sturdy enough to climb.
INT./EXT. MYKA’S LOFT – NIGHT
Key Scene 2: NEW PLAN: Myka makes a plan and executes it.
She swallows her pride, and decides to apologize to her friends, and get the old gang together, so she can get back her juju. Myka calls Gabi, Yuri and Rafi, but no one answers.
BEGINNING: Myka packs a few boxes and a rucksack and tosses them into her van. She pulls out her phone, scrolls through her contacts… hesitates.
MYKA
No, I can’t. They hate me.
Stashes her phone back in her pocket. Goes back inside, comes out with a box full of camping supplies, slides it into the back of the van, slams the door shut.
Takes out her phone, taps GABI. It rings. Goes to voicemail. She clicks off.
She calls Yuri. No answer. Then Rafi. Voicemail. She starts to leave a message, changes her mind. Hangs up, goes inside.
INT. MYKA’S LOFT – DAY
MIDDLE: Myka, clearly distressed, continues packing and cleaning energetically. Falls breathless into the couch.
END: Pulls out her phone, calls Gabi. It goes to voicemail. This time, she leaves a message.
MYKA
Hey, Gabi… uhmm, it’s me. I know it’s been a minute, but please don’t delete this message.
(deep sigh)
It’s… it’s the Multiversity. It’s deteriorating, I’m losing my juju and I… need your help. Call me.
INT. GABI’S STUDIO – DAY
Gabi paints brilliant colors on a canvas. Her phone buzzes. She sees Myka’s name and ignores the call. It rings again. She waits, picks up and listens to the message. An expression of concern comes over her face.
She continues painting, but the colors begin to turn shades of grey.
GABI
What the…? Okay, something’s off.
Gabi fears something is off in the Multiversity.
INT. RAFI’S EURYTHMY STUDIO – DAY
Yuri reads a poem aloud in a clear, deep resounding manner, as Rafi glides gracefully around the room in green silk chiffon veils moving her arms to the sounds of his voice.
INT. RAFI’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Rafi lies in bed reading. Her phone rings, she picks up and hears Myka’s voice. Hangs up. Goes back to reading her book. The words on the page fade in and out.
INT. YURI’S FLAT – DAY
Yuri plays his violin, surrounded by large crystals that vibrate and sing with each tone he plays. His phone rings. Shakes his head, doesn’t answer. Continues playing his violin, but the music sounds dissonant and screechy.
EXT. MYKA’S LOFT – DAY
Hands over the keys to her loft to the owner. Gets in her van and drives away.
EXT. MYKA’S VAN – DAY
She pulls her van behind the treehouse, unpacks her stuff and moves in.
EXT. WOODS – DAY
Gabi emerges from the woods and heads towards the treehouse.
INT. TREEHOUSE – SAME
Gabi visits the treehouse, sees evidence that Myka has been living there.
Gabi gazes around, sees evidence that Myka has been living there. She sits quietly for a moment head in hands. As she rises and starts to leave Myka shows up.
Myka apologizes. Tells Gabi her nightmare. Gabi tells her what’s been happening with her living nightmare.
EXT. TREEHOUSE – DAY
Key Scene 3: PLAN IN ACTION: Not only does her plan fail, but…
BEGINNING: Rafi and Yuri show up. Gabi greets them and convinces them to come inside. They climb up reluctantly.
INT. TREEHOUSE – DAY
MIDDLE: They hear out Myka with Gabi chiming in…
Myka stands in the middle of the floor in anticipation.
Rafi, Yuri and Gabi climb up into the treehouse and sit on the old sofa opposite her, without a word.
Gabi gives her the go-ahead nod.
MYKA
Okay, here’s the plan, guys —
GABI
Myka?
MYKA
Right… uh, I guess I owe you an apology for dropping off the radar after our… my big debacle.
Silence.
MYKA
Yeah, okay, I know. I’m sorry. I was a bitch. I’ve really missed you and my life hasn’t been the same without the old gang.
Gabi and Rafi exchange glances, trying not to grin. Yuri rolls his eyes, crosses his arms and stares at Myka.
MYKA
Sooo… Am I forgiven?
YURI
Depends.
MYKA
On?
RAFI
On the condition that you keep your huge ego in check.
GABI
No temper tantrums.
YURI
No micromanaging.
MYKA
What? Really?
GABI
Do you think you can handle it?
MYKA
Of course I can handle… Okay, fine. Agreed.
RAFI
So what’s going on, Myka? Why now?
MYKA
I’m losing my juju and I need…
They glare at her.
MYKA
Okay, look, there’s something weird going on in the Multiversity and if I know you guys at all, I’m sure you feel it too. The point is, what are we going to do about it? If we could just figure this out, get the old gang together, do some dream synesthesia research… maybe we could fix things. What do you say?
GABI
The plan is to meet here where it all started. Practice shared synesthetic dreaming, and when we feel ready, enter the Multiversity and find out what’s happening.
RAFI
I’m in.
YURI
When do we start?
MYKA
If we’re going to recreate what we had back then…
GABI
We’d better get this place ready.
The plan is to revive the gang and meet there to continue their synesthetic dream-research, as long as Myka doesn’t get up to her “old tricks”, bossiness and temper tantrums. In other words, on the condition that Myka’s big ego doesn’t get in the way.
SEVERAL SHOTS:
They clean up and repair the treehouse.
Myka slips into her Old Ways a few times, and the others call her on it, but playfully.
INT. TREEHOUSE – NIGHT
END: Practice synesthetic dreaming there every night until they’re ready to go back into the Multiversity for battle.
They drink mugwort tea.
They lie on mats and fall asleep.
They practice meeting in shared dreams.
EXT. MULTIVERSITY – NIGHT
The exterior walls show signs of deterioration.
INT. MULTIVERSITY – NIGHT
Various creatures destroy, eat, steal the content of the branches of Wisdom, Art, Music, Dream and Memory.
INT. TREEHOUSE – DAY
Key Scene 4: MIDPOINT TURNING: There’s a huge change in meaning.
They charge in to battle the forces that are attacking Wisdom, Memory and Dream without knowing who or what they’re up against.
They charge into the Multiversity. Myka chickens out and runs. Gabi confronts Myka. Calls her a coward.
BEGINNING: Myka, Gabi, Yuri and Rafi gather inside. Myka brews mugwort tea and pours everyone a cup, Gabi passes them out, Myka drinks from an oversized pottery mug with her name on it.
MYKA
So, guys, the clock is ticking. Time for battle. Are you ready?
Rafi passes around a plate of cookies. Myka takes the biggest one. Gabi shoots her a glance of disapproval. Myka shrugs.
MYKA
What?
Yuri lays out four mats and pillows on the floor in a sunburst pattern with the heads facing towards the center.
YURI
Do we have any idea what we’re up against?
GABI
Yeah, no.
YURI
Maybe one of us ought to go in and check out the situation before we all charge in blind.
RAFI
Too dangerous. We need to know we have one another’s backs.
GABI
Rafi’s right, we’ll have a better chance going in as a team.
MYKA
Maybe I should stay behind in case you guys can’t wake up.
GABI
Seriously? It’s all of us or none of us. The only way we were ever able to enter the Multiversity was if we went in together. You know that, Myka.
MYKA
Right, sure. Okay, then. Yuri, you enter from the tunnel in the cave. Rafi, by boat from the shore. Gabi flies in from over the cliffs —
GABI
We know the drill, Myka, and you drop down from a hot air balloon like when we were kids. Come on.
Gabi takes Myka’s hand. Yuri and Rafi shake their heads.
They take their places on the mats, lie down on their backs, close their eyes and join hands, closing the circle.
Everyone takes a few deep breaths. Their breathing slows. It’s quiet except for the sounds of a bird singing and leaves rustling through the trees.
Rafi snores. Myka opens one eye and looks around.
Gabi turns her head towards Myka without opening her eyes.
GABI
(whispers)
What are you, the sleep police? Relax. Everyone’s going to be okay.
The clock is ticking. The team prepares for battle.
EXT./INT. MULTIVERSITY – HIDDEN COVE – NIGHT
Same journey: They’re still trying to enter shared synesthesia dream and find out what’s going on.
Different Meaning: They discover who and what has been destroying the Multiversity.
MIDDLE: Myka backs down from a dangerous opportunity to conquer the villain, and retreats. Gabi witnesses it.
Rafi rows in from the ocean, pulls her little green boat onto the shore and steps onto the sand.
Gabi flies in over the cliffs and lands on soft sand.
Yuri emerges from the cave in the side of the cliff.
Myka makes a loud grand entrance in her red hot air balloon.
They gather in front of the Multiversity.
The GATEKEEPER greets them at the entrance, the tall, arched, double wooden doors.
GATEKEEPER
What is the correct time?
They answer in unison.
MYKA/GABI/RAFI/YURI
The time is always now.
GATEKEEPER
You may enter.
The Gatekeeper opens the doors and they follow Myka inside.
They explore each of the schools and libraries, speechless at the sight of the disintegration.
PLACEHOLDER Describe these in more detail here.
Gabi spots a gigantic gelatinous blob, hurries towards it.
GABI
Myka, look! Come on.
The blob notices her and slimes towards her.
Gabi runs, just escaping from being absorbed.
Myka freezes at the sight.
GABI
Yuri! Rafi! Run!
Gabi grabs Myka’s hand and the four of them run out through the wooden doors.
INT. TREEHOUSE – NIGHT
END: They’re no match for the villains.
The four of them sit up simultaneously, eyes wide, in shock.
MYKA
We’re clearly not ready, gang. Something more powerful than I thought is going on in there.
YURI
Yeah, that was some weird shit show. What do we do now, team?
RAFI
We’ll figure it out.
GABI
(whispers)
What happened back there, Myka?
MYKA
I don’t know. I froze. I’m sorry.
GABI
(under her breath)
Coward.
MYKA
What?
Gabi waves it off.
YURI
Synesthesia shared lucid dream rule number one. Don’t freak out!
RAFI
Exactly. If only we could maintain our shared dream long enough to implement our powers, maybe we’d find out who or what wants to bring down the Multiversity.
Gabi walks out muttering under her breath.
Myka scrambles down the treehouse ladder.
MYKA
Gabi! Wait!
Gabi keeps walking away without turning around.
MYKA
You were right!
Gabi stops in her tracks, turns to face Myka.
GABI
Go on.
MYKA
I let you down. I was scared. When it came right down to it, I was only concerned about saving myself.
GABI
You let us all down, Myka.
Myka looks at the ground.
MYKA
I know. I’m sorry. I’ll try harder. Look, let’s try again and I promise I won’t disappoint you this time.
Yuri and Rafi climb down and join them.
YURI
So, what’s the plan.
RAFI
We can’t quit now, right?
MYKA
I’m sorry, guys. I screwed up and this is bigger than all of us. We have to go back in.
GABI
What are you suggesting?
MYKA
Let’s be super vigilant. Notice where things are falling apart. What we need to focus on in our dreams and…
GABI
And?
MYKA
And meet back here Friday. Spend the weekend practicing our skills.
YURI
Better not wimp out this time.
MYKA
Please give me another chance. Regroup Friday, five o’clock?
They exchange glances. Long uncomfortable silence.
Gabi, Yuri and Rafi give reluctant nods of approval.
MYKA
You won’t regret this. I promise.
INT. BAR – NIGHT
Myka strikes up a conversation, agrees to meet an Art Collector and her investor partner at a cafe’ on Friday, the night she’s promised to meet the gang at the Treehouse to save the Multiversity.
Dilemma: Myka sits at the bar staring at a snifter of brandy on her left.
MYKA
Old Myka…?
She turns her gaze to the right to a basket of peanuts in their shells.
MYKA
Or… new Myka?
Looks to the left.
MYKA
Yummy, warm and cozy Myka… or?
She turns to the peanuts on the right.
MYKA
Into the breach to save the Multiversity Myka?
An elegant ART COLLECTOR, 50’s on a stool to Myka’s left speaks to a MAN next to her.
ART COLLECTOR
I don’t care about the ridiculous memes, this artist has talent! I need to get in touch with the gallery to get her contacts.
MAN
You can’t be serious. That woman is a walking disaster.
ART COLLECTOR
Her emotional problems have very little to do with her creativity. My partner and I are always looking to invest in emerging, innovative bold new artists, and this one shows potential —
Myka interrupts.
MYKA
I’m sorry, I couldn’t help overhearing your conversation.
The Collector turns and instantly recognizes her.
ART COLLECTOR
Wait, you’re the artist. What are the chances? Michaela was it?
MYKA
Myka. Can I buy you a drink?
INT. BAR – LATER
Myka and the Art Collector sit at a booth, a bottle of cognac between them, sipping brandy.
ART COLLECTOR
No, that’s impossible, my partner is meeting with investors all day tomorrow and Thursday, so we’ll need to push it to Friday at five. That’s the last opportunity she’ll have to discuss funding your projects. She leaves for Rome that night on the red eye.
Myka’s face drops.
ART COLLECTOR
What’s the matter, do you have more important plans?
Silence.
ART COLLECTOR
Fine. If you can’t make it —
MYKA
No, no, no, I’ll be there.
ART COLLECTOR
Prima! Cafe’ Flor, Friday at five.
The Collector stands, they shake hands. She walks away.
END OF ACT 2
-
Susan Has Completed Act 2 Draft 1
INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT
Shelby and Liam are sleeping soundly until Shelby becomes restless. She tosses to and fro as if fending off some attack, she stops, her covers flung to the side. She MUMBLES, waking Liam.
LIAM
Shel, you ok?
SHELBY (Mumbling)
Leaves of three let them be.
LIAM
What?
SHELBY
Get! Watch out!
Just as Liam realizes she must be dreaming, Shelby raises her leg straight in the air and brings it down harshly, stomping her foot into the mattress.
LIAM
What the fuck?
Before he can react, Shelby repeats the motion, even more aggressively.
Liam props himself up reaching over, shaking Shelby gently.
LIAM
Shelby, wake up you’re –
For all his gentleness, Shelby pulls back then punches Liam square in his nose.
LIAM
Goddammit! Shelby, what the hell?
Shelby abruptly sits up, her skin moist with perspiration.
SHELBY
Oh my God, Liam, I just had the most horrible dream.
LIAM (Holding his nose)
You think? I was on the receiving end of it!
Shelby quickly turns on the bedside lamp and sees Liam holding his nose, blood trickling between his fingers.
SHELBY
Jesus, Liam, your nose is bleeding. What happened?
LIAM
You, babe, you happened. Whatever nightmare you were having, I guess I was to blame.
Shelby jumps out of the bed and runs to the kitchen.
SHELBY (VO)
Liam, I am so sorry. I’m getting ice.
He moves to the side of the bed, as she returns carrying a bag of ice and a towel.
SHELBY
Let me see.
He accepts the ice and towel then waves her off.
LIAM
It’s fine, really. What the heck was that all about? You were doing some kind of judo kicks here in bed.
She plops on the bed next to him.
SHELBY
I was dreaming that we were back camping. That snake was coming for me at every direction, then hiding under the bed.
LIAM (Amused)
And you were going to karate kick it?
SHELBY (Embarrassed)
No, I was just trying to scare him out.
LIAM
Well, if you punched it like you did me, it would have ended up on the moon.
She peeks under the towel to inspect the damage she inflicted.
LIAM
I think the bleeding has stopped. How does it look?
SHELBY
Like you got sucker punched. I’m so sorry, but do you see now? We’re not even physically camping and still this curse rears its ugly head.
Liam tosses aside the ice, wiping his nose gently, to clean any bloody remnants.
LIAM
We’re going to have to come up with some kick ass story to explain this.
He crawls back to the center of the bed, taking Shelby with him, they snuggle.
LIAM
Come here, you are not a jinx and you don’t have some horrible curse hanging over your head. I admit, you’ve had some pretty shitty luck from what you’ve admitted but that’s all in the past.
SHELBY
Liam, are you sure you want to do this again? Maybe it’s best if you just take Sam and pick up where you left off two years ago.
LIAM
Forget it; I am going to prove to you how wrong you are. Besides, I’ve reserved a spot at a family friendly campground this year to ease you into the world of camping, he’d never settle for that type of glamping.
SHELBY
Glamping? I like that sound of that, sounds safe and right up my alley.
She rolls over to embrace him and sucks in her breath at the rapidly blackening eye.
SHELBY
Yep, that’s going to need a kick ass story, although the truth might make for a more entertaining rendition.
LIAM
What, woman tries to decapitate snake boyfriend with a karate chop, claiming it was all a dream?
SHELBY (Giggling)
Yeah, something like that.
She kisses his bruised eye and bloodied nose.
SHELBY
Thank you, Liam, for being so patient with me. If I haven’t told you lately, I love you, I think I will keep you around for a while; at least until I have this camping thing down to a science.
Susan’s Act 2 Middle Scenes
INT. HOME OFFICE – DAY
Shelby sits at a desk concentrating on a video playing on her laptop. The doorbell RINGS.
INT. FOYER – DAY
Without waiting for an invitation, Abbey lets herself in.
ABBEY
Knock, knock, anybody home?
SHELBY (VO)
Come on in… Oh wait, you already did.
Abbey stops to check her appearance in the hall mirror.
ABBEY
You ass, where are you?
SHELBY (VO)
In the office.
Abbey knows the floor plan like her own home and heads down the hallway to
INT. HOME OFFICE – DAY
Abbey drops her purse into a chair and curiously moves behind the desk to peer over Shelby’s shoulder.
ABBEY
Oooh, whatchya watching, Tik Tok? Face Book?
SHELBY
You Tube
ABBEY
Let me see, come on, scootch over, so I can see.
Shelby complies but Abbey is bitterly disappointed by the video of camp life instruction.
ABBEY
What the heck is that?
SHELBY (Distracted)
I told you, the University of You Tube. I am learning the basics of camp life procedures and protocols.
ABBEY
Ugh, stop it.
She reaches over Shelby’s shoulder to cut off the video.
ABBEY
Here are the basics, relax, go with the flow, and just have fun. There, lesson over, now come on, we are going to be late.
SHELBY
Late for what, I can’t go anywhere. Abbey, I’m serious, I can’t let Liam down again, I need to be prepared this time around.
ABBEY
Agreed, but first you have to let go of this stress and anxiety, and what better way to do that than a spa mani-pedi?
SHELBY
Oh, that sounds so tempting, I don’t know.
ABBEY
It includes unlimited free wine and mimosa’s.
With that last, Shelby doesn’t hesitate to close her laptop and push away from the desk.
SHELBY
Sold, let’s go, but then I have to get home and finish these tutorials.
Abbey rolls her eyes, shaking her head, she grabs her purse and follows Shelby from the office.
ABBEY
Of course, but just remember, if you gotta do something that is absolutely abhorrent to you, you better look good doing it.
EXT. RENAISSANCE FAIR – DAY
Placeholder: Shelby and Liam spend a perfectly wonderful chilly day at the fair, putting Shelby at ease for the night of camping yet to come.
INT. TENT – NIGHT
Shelby and Liam are bundled inside sleeping bags in the tent. The temperature has plummeted and both bodies shiver almost convulsively.
SHELBY (Teeth chattering)
Li… Li… Liam, are you a… a… wake?
He snuggles close to her, trying to share his warmth.
LIAM
Kind of hard to sleep in subzero temps, you ok?
SHELBY
Not really, you think we can go back to the bathroom? See if they got the heater working.
LIAM (Looks at his watch)
It’s only been 40 minutes, I’m sure maintenance won’t come until morning to repair the heater.
SHELBY
I’m so sorry, if I hadn’t left the propane heater on while we were at the fair, there would probably still be some gas to heat the tent.
LIAM
It’s ok, we’ll get more gas when the shop opens in the morning.
SHELBY
If we survive til morning.
He feels her shiver violently beside him.
LIAM
Come on, let’s go sit by the fire.
SHELBY
Outside? Where it’s even colder?
LIAM
The wind’s not bad and we have enough wood to keep the fire stoked throughout the night. It’ll be like in the olden days, sleeping under the open sky.
SHELBY
Except back then, they didn’t have a choice.
Liam winces at the dig and prods her gently.
LIAM
Hey, we can hang it up and find a hotel nearby.
SHELBY
No, this is your time, and I’m no quitter.
LIAM
This is our time, and I wouldn’t call it quitting, in truth, it’s probably more sensible. Motel 6? They may have left the light on?
SHELBY
We came to camp, and camping we shall do. Go get that fire stoked and I’ll grab the sleeping bags and be right behind you.
Liam gives her a squeeze and before crawling toward the exit.
LIAM
Old Bob Bodette, you think that guy is still alive?
SHELBY
Probably not, he most likely froze to death looking for the motel where someone turned the light off.
EXT. CAMPSITE 3 – NIGHT
Shelby exits the tent, arms full with both bags and a deck of cards. She is a walking clothes rack having donned just about every piece of clothing in her possession, including layers of socks on her hands.
SHELBY
Look, I found the trivia cards.
Liam smiles and holds up a bourbon bottle.
LIAM
I found a little something also, to warm the gut?
The fire is blazing and they settle right up to the edge of the fire. With the heat from the flames and the shots of bourbon the chill melts from their bones.
Placeholder: They pass the night drinking and quizzing each other from their Renaissance trivia cards, keeping the fire rolling. Liam’s boots catch fire from propping them unknowingly over the flames. They fall asleep curled right up to the fire ring.
EXT. CAMPSITE 3 – MORNING
The couple awakes, woolen hats pulled down low over their heads, with scarves wrapped around their head and face. Liam pokes the still glowing embers, feeding more logs to the fire.
Once the blaze is kicking out heat again, Shelby crawls out from her covers.
SHELBY
I’ll get breakfast going.
Shelby rummages through the cooler, everything is frozen solid.
SHELBY
Um, Liam, I think we have a problem.
She is now shuffling items in the storage bin.
LIAM
What’s the matter?
SHELBY
Everything is frozen, and I mean, everything; the water, milk, eggs…
Shelby raises a bottle of liquid dish soap from the container.
SHELBY
Even the liquid soap. I didn’t think it possible for liquid soap to freeze.
He sees where the mood is shifting and quickly reacts.
LIAM
Hey, it’s no biggie. We’ll grab breakfast at the diner, then get some more propane, it’s all good.
She drops the soap with a CLUNK and feels the calm settle in.
SHELBY
Ok, sounds good, but first, I’ve got to pee.
LIAM
That makes two of us, come on, we’ll hit the bathroom on the way out.
EXT. RESTROOM – DAY
Still bundled head to toe, they split at the restroom heading to their respective facilities. From inside the woman’s bath Shelby SCREAMS.
Shelby and Liam emerge simultaneously from opposing entryways, bare faced, caps removed, speaking at the same time.
LIAM
WHAT THE FUCK?
SHELBY
MY FACE!
Having nearly collided, they back up to examine each other’s image. The proximity to the fire the night before causing severe thermal burns, leaves their faces scorched red with tiny blisters across the surface. Shelby can’t maintain her composure any longer, she breaks down.
SHELBY
I hate camping!
INT. FOYER – DAY
Shelby enters, red faced but relaxed.
SHELBY
Liam! I got it, the prescription for this winter burn.
She peeks into the LR doorway, no one. She moves down the hall to –
INT. KITCHEN – DAY
She sees Liam on the back deck, looking serious as he converses with his best friend, Sam. Shelby frowns, biting a fingernail, debating. She quietly opens the window, to eaves drop on the conversation.
EXT. BACK DECK – DAY
LIAM
I don’t know Sam, I mean she is trying.
SAM
Whining and making bullshit excuses about jinxes and curses is not the same as trying.
Liam has no response but lifts a bottle of beer and finishes it off.
SAM
Dude, you’re my best friend, you are the most gifted outdoorsman I have ever known, but when you go off with Shelby, it’s like the grim reaper is riding third wheel.
LIAM
Really, the Grim Reaper, who’s talking bullshit now?
SAM
Before Shelby, you have camped every single year for 20 years, WITHOUT incident. The past two trips, with your (air quotes) jinx in tow, have ended for you in near death experiences. You think third time’s the charm?
Liam pulls out two more beers from a cooler at his feet and tosses one to Sam.
LIAM
Ok, I admit it, the trips ended abruptly and a bit precariously, but Shelby can’t control wildlife, woods, or the weather.
Sam merely raises his eyebrows, HARRUMPHS, and takes a drink.
SAM
Precariously? You almost died the first time out, then had your face scorched off the next! That shit never happened with your dad, or with me. I know I sound like a jealous bitch, but I can’t believe you’re blowing me off for the jinx.
LIAM
That’s enough, Sam, I know things have been going south with me and Shelby. It seems like we’re growing apart and I had hoped if she could find the appreciation for the outdoors like I do, it might have brought us closer together.
SAM
Closer together or closer to death? Cuz I’d say death is pulling away here.
You gotta choose my friend, a short, reckless, unhappy life, or one that sees old age, a pension, and a walker.
LIAM
Yeah I can see it now, you and me racing up and down the old folks home with our clacking walkers on the tile floor.
SAM
No way, Dude, we’re putting tennis balls on the feet of those bitches and hobbling ninja style, we’ll be close to invisible.
The men laugh and carry on comfortable with their joking one another while –
INT. KITCHEN – DAY
Shelby watches the two men jesting, comfortable with each other and in their own skin. She quietly closes the window as a tear slips down her cheek. She picks up her purse and departs the house.
EXT. BACK DECK – DAY
Liam and Sam look up at the kitchen window.
LIAM
Did you hear something?
SAM
No. (Looking close at Liam) Are you ok? It looks like your face is about to melt off.
LIAM
That’s the least of my worries. I don’t know what I’m going to do. If I have to choose between this camping thing and Shelby, there is no choice, Sam, I choose Shelby every time.
SAM
Does she know why this is so important to you, have you told her about your dad?
Liam says not a word but shakes his head, no.
SAM
Then maybe you need to have a talk, put the ball in her court and let her make a choice. As much as I hate to say this, she just might surprise you.
EXT. LIBRARY – DAY
ABBEY (VO)
Hey, this is Abbey, you know what to do baby, leave a number and I’ll call you maybe.
Frustrated, Shelby whisper yells into the receiver.
SHELBY
Oh my god, Abbey, where are you? We need to talk ASAP! Meet me at the library.
She prepares to hang up then remembers something else.
SHELBY
And please, change your voicemail message. I think seven years of call you maybe is maybe too much! See you soon, maybe.
She disconnects, shoves the cell into her purse and enters the library.
INT. LIBRARY – DAY
Shelby slowly walks down the aisle, books shelves on either side. He arms are laden with no less than five manuals. As she squints to see a title on an upper shelf, a dainty hand lands on her shoulder, the armload of books end up on the floor..
SHELBY
Jesus Abbey, what are you sneaking up on me like that for?
Her friend looks around confused.
ABBEY
I wasn’t sneaking, this is a library for Christ’s sake, you’re supposed to be quiet. So where’s the fire, why all your urgent life and death messages?
Shelby fights back the tears.
SHELBY
It’s Liam…
ABBEY
Let’s skip the parts I know about and get to the real problem.
Shelby collapses to the floor, gathering the books into her lap.
SHELBY
I think he’s done, I mean really done this time. I overheard him and Sam talking about me and my nonexistent camping abilities.
Abbey seems to brighten and takes a spot on the floor against the opposite shelves.
ABBEY
This sounds interesting, proceed.
SHELBY
He told Sam things were falling apart between us and he is going to have to make a decision, soon.
ABBEY
A decision, about what?
SHELBY (shrugging)
Not about, but between what. He is going to have to choose between me and camping.
ABBEY (In disbelief)
Shel, stop being stupid, that’s not even a choice. Of course, he would choose you over some ridiculous Boy Scout romp.
SHELBY
It’s not just a romp, this is something he’s been doing since he was eight, religiously! That’s 20 years to my five.
ABBEY
But you’re engaged, that means something.
SHELBY
Engaged for three years, Abs, I’d say that means he is reluctant to get married, maybe I’m not the right person for him and he has finally realized that by my camping fiascos.
ABBEY
I don’t believe that…
She glances at the stack of texts on Shelby’s lap.
ABBEY (CONT)
And neither do you, or you wouldn’t be here researching.
Abbey stands holding out her hands to Shelby who is now looking confused.
ABBEY (CONT)
Come on, if we’re going to get you camp worthy and break this curse, you’re going to need help, and lots of it!
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