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Lesson 16
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ASSIGNMENT
Subject line: Pat’s Character Intros/Exits
What I learn doing this assignment is understanding to add more description when introducing the character.
Create new introductions and exits for your two lead characters.
List the beats of your current character introductions and endings for your lead characters.
Ronnie hates his dishwashing job.
Loves skateboarding.
Looking for a new job with dealing people.
He has friends who love and follow him.
2. Select a best introduction from this list below for each character.
Types of Introductions
1) Action shows primary traits.
2) Other character’s reaction
to this character.
3) Build the Character’s
reputation.
4) Character philosophy
5) Situation demands the
character.
6) The reveal opening.3. Write out the beats for each NEW character introduction. Make sure it delivers as much character as possible through the initial action, initial lines of dialogue, initial description and the situation you place the character in.
Ronnie Hester-Protagonist
Introduction:
Ronnie Hester, 17, loves skateboarding and is accomplished at it. He hates his dishwashing job and looks for a better job. He skates down the sidewalk on the way to the skatepark when he spots a help wanted sign that states “Courier needed must have wheels.”
Ending:
Ronnie and Jody skate on the sidewalk following Taz, the crow. They Slip into the warehouse, where they believe the kidnapped kids are being held, and hide. Ronnie has a recorder with him this time. He records admissions of the villains. As the killer prepare to take the kids to the river for the killings. The Sheriff arrives and hides with Ronnie. The Sheriff tries to arrest the killers, but the killers get the upper hand. The sheriff retreats. They wait for the hit man to arrive. When the hitman arrives, Taz flies through the door in all his fury and lands on the hitman’s head, the hitman retreats and runs for the door into the Sheriff’s backup. Ronnie, who has always hated guns, grabs the gun and backs up to the Sheriff.
Charlie: Ronnie’s best friend.
Charlie 16, loves skateboarding, Ronnie’s best friend, lives alone in a vacant house, works in maintenance at a bar.
Charlie is tied up in the warehouse. Ronnie ‘s led to the warehouse by Charlie’s crow. Charlie carries the gold ball that the crow is influenced by. Suddenly the gold ball sparkles and shines. Charlie knows Ronnie’s on the way. When they are found Ronnie’s mom tells him that he can come live with them.
Charlie
I knew you’d come for me, Ronnie.
What took you so long?
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Connie’s Character Intros/Exits
What I learned from doing this exercise is how important the first and last scenes are in terms of attracting actors to play the key roles. I thought I had pretty interesting scenes in place already, especially for the lead character, Daisy. But it is always good to look at how can it be even better and more engaging, which it now is.
Daisy Duncan, Lead Protagonist, is introduced in scenes #1 & 2 Randall Duncan, Daisy’s ex-husband, the Antagonist appears in Scene #2
INT. DAISY’S LIVING ROOM – DAY
Dance trophies and photos adorn a sleek modern room.
Feisty, determined, voluptuous, control freak, DAISY DUNCAN, 50’s, dances with her Yorkie, TRUMAN. A dance contest shows on the big screen and TANGO MUSIC PLAYS. She GIGGLES as he licks her face.
DAISY
Dancing with you is delightful, darling Truman, if only you were a hunky, two-legged fellow. Mommy’s gonna win the Over 50 National Dance Contest. Just wait and see.
Suddenly startled by a Peeping Tom with his face pressed against her window, she SCREAMS and drops Truman!
EXT. DAISY’S BACK GARDEN – DAY
Daisy grabs a big umbrella, holds it like a sword and strides outside toward the man, sneaky, ex-husband, RANDALL DUNCAN, 60’s. He waters but halts as she approaches waving her weird weapon. He rips off his ugly wig, gives her a “parade” wave.
DAISY
Randall, good grief. You scared the crap out of me! What the hell are you doing here?
RANDALL
(Classy British accent)
Daisy, love. I want to make certain my special flower is safe, and has a lovely garden.
DAISY
Safe from what? My crazy stalker ex-husband disguised as a gardener?
RANDALL
You must admit, I look quite convincing, yes?
DAISY
Didn’t you have enough of disguises all those years in MI6? I swear, if you weren’t my daughter’s father, I’d have you arrested. GO AWAY, Randall! LEAVE ME ALONE!
She storms back into the house, clicks the door lock and draws her drapes closed.
DAISY
You don’t know a flippin’ lily from a dandelion. You could’ve done some yard work when we were together. At least get a decent wig.
This revised version does a better job of showing who Daisy is and what’s important to her.
Reworked opening scene introducing Daisy Duncan:
INT. DAISY’S LIVING ROOM – DAY
Stunning, determined, controlling, feisty yet insecure romantic, with a smile that lights up the room, DAISY DUNCAN (50’s) is deliriously happy as she gracefully dances into her sleek, tidy, modern home.
Her Yorkie, TRUMAN is crazy happy to see her. She snatches him into her arms and GIGGLES as he licks her face. She places a small trophy on the mantle.
DAISY
WE WON TRUMAN! Mommy won the Greater Portland Over 50 Dance Contest. Can you believe it?
Alexa play Tango music.
TANGO MUSIC fills the room. Daisy dances with her pup.
DAISY
Dancing with you is delightful, my little darling, too bad you’re not a hunky, two-legged fellow who can dance. We’re gonna win the state, then the region and THE NATIONAL Contests! Just wait and see.
Suddenly startled by a Peeping Tom with his face pressed against her window, she SCREAMS and drops Truman!
Reworked Scene #2 improving Randall’s intro:
EXT. DAISY’S BACK GARDEN – DAY
Daisy grabs a big umbrella, holds it like a sword, strides outside to confront the man: cunning Casanova, deceptive, former spy, and her ex, RANDALL DUNCAN (60’s).
He waters but halts as she approaches waving her would be weapon. He rips off his ugly wig, gives her a “parade” wave.
Randall’s exit showing that he has not hanged in the slightest-still a slippery womanizer and chameleon:
INT. LIBRARY LOBBY – CHRISTMAS TIME – NIGHT – RESOLUTION
Daisy and Buck, P.T. and Thomas, Izzy and Stef, even Homeless Harry, Randall, Nancy, and all the employees trim the enormous Christmas tree in the lobby as HOLIDAY TUNES PLAY.
RANDALL
So, Nancy, I hear you’ve joined the club of the divorced.
NANCY
Yep, should’ve done it years ago.
RANDALL
Would you fancy a date?
NANCY
With whom?
I am happy with Daisy’ and Buck’s Exit – the final scene, as it is romantic, fun and wraps up the story beautifully. Marrying her soul mate in Paris is Daisy’s dream come true and Buck is the ideal mate for her:
EXT. EIFFEL TOWER – PARIS – DAY
Beneath the iconic tower, Buck in hunky cowboy garb and Daisy in a gorgeous wedding gown and cowgirl boots stand before an officiate. Izzy, Steph, Luci, her husband, P.T., Ernie and his wife witness the marriage ceremony.
FEMALE CLARET
(French accent)
I now pronounce you husband and wife. Please do kiss the bride.
Buck dips Daisy, kisses her speaks softly just to her.
BUCK
Let’s keep dancing together for the rest of our lives!
DAISY
Sounds good to me.
Everyone CHEERS! Romantic western MUSIC PLAYS as Daisy and Buck dance the Texas two-step embracing in the dance of love and gleefully grinning.
Buck Wright, 2<sup>nd</sup> Protagonist, Daisy’s love interest. His intro is complicated because he appears in her world in scene #3 but we don’t actually know who he is until scene #7. I like the mystery around who Buck is and why the lady is so over the moon about him.
EXT. ELEGANT PRIVATE HOME ENTRANCE – DAY
Older woman at her door greets BUCKLEY WRIGHT (Buck) (50’s) gorgeous, silver-haired dude, young Sam Elliot type (guy from the cemetery). He carries a Specialty Medical Equipment bag.
The lady hugs him, kisses his cheek and showers him with accolades via praying hands gestures. Buck modestly lays his free hand on his heart and smiles. She welcomes him inside.
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Is today, Saturday, August 5, our last zoom class meeting? I apologize for the dumb question, but I don’t want to miss the last class of this Rewrite class, which has been greatly helpful to me and I’ve learned so much!
Thank you for all,
Julia Mendenhall
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Subject: Monica’s Character Intros/Exits
What I learned doing this assignment is to consider introducing my main characters a different way.
CURRENT Character Introductions
Victoria Williams – Protagonist
INT. NIGHT CLUB – NIGHT
VICTORIA WILLIAMS, mid-20s, attractive, responsible, picks up one of the drinks. Sniffs. Sets the drink back down.
Jack Baker – Antagonist
JACK BAKER, late-20s, well-dressed, stands up. Makes his way to the girls table. Followed by the rest of the MEN. They approach the girls table.
NEW CHARACTER BEGINNINGS
Victoria Williams – Protagonist – Character Philosophy
VICTORIA WILLIAMS, mid-20s, adjusts her pony tail. Very attractive, outwardly confident, responsible. Being a beat cop will do that to a person. Suspicious is her middle name. And you get one chance to prove you’re worth her time.
Jack Baker – Antagonist – Other Character’s reaction to this character
JACK BAKER, late-20s, struts his way to the girls table like a peacock in heat. He’s well-dressed. Perfectly coiffed. Overly confident. He also smells…of…too many drugs. Victoria recoils. Pushes away from the table.
Character Endings – I’ve spent a lot of time on this ending.
EXT. POLICE STATION – NIGHT
Victoria is kidnapped.
INT. JACK’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Jack has Victoria stripped down and hanging from ropes. He’s beaten her. Now he wants to kill her once and for all.
As Jack peruses the how to do it from his wall of weapons. Victoria uses her last bit of energy to kick him into a battle axe. Jack hangs dead on the wall.
VICTORIA
Rest in peace you mother-fucker!
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Tracy’s Character Intros and Exits
What I learned is to write longer, more descriptive character-profile entrances. I’ve shied away from that, just giving a one-line description that’s been boiled down to a few choice words. I’ve left the longer descrptions to be found in the bible or summary for the actors’ use. So I’ll think about this more given the way it’s been taught in this class as a matter of importance.
I felt happy with how major characters are introduced, but realized I didn’t have satisying endings “that they deserved.” Now at least I know what’s going to happen with all but the sleazy handyman. Currently, he just didn’t come back to work, which fits his character as lazy and left the heroine in the lurch. Will see if other ideas pop up for him.
Trying to catch up after another trip during this class (four in all!). Being away from the computer even for a short three day trip really gets me behind.
So I am breezing through the last few exercises, with better work to get done ahead. However, I’m now thinking about all these things as I rewrite. I know it slows the process down from what’s intended, but hopefully it’s improved, too.
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Lori’s Characters’ Intros and Exits
What I learned… these scenes are important to the storyline, of course, but their first purpose is to woo actors into playing these parts. Hal’s explanations here are great, “The initial action of the character needs to express who this character is in a BIG way,(and) the exit is a fitting ending for who the character has been! This is their payoff or payback. ” Things to keep in mind as I continue to flesh out my story. I also appreciated the different types of introductions.
Thomas’ Intro – As a pastor and pillar in the small-town community, people will react to seeing him based on what he does for a living. On top of that, most of them will know what he is dealing with before the audience knows, so some may avoid him or feel sorry for him. He’s a man stuck in grief. Also in the opening scene, Thomas is in a situation that demands something from him. There’s a ticking clock as Christmas draws near, and he hasn’t to find hope.
Thomas’ Exit – Thomas finds hope again in time for Christmas. He joins the community at a live nativity where he says his final line, “Merry Christmas,” and Miriam leads the crowd singing, “Silent Night.” I feel this scene is a good payoff for all the characters involved, as well as the audience.
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