Lesson 17

[Deb Johnson]

LOGLINE: Renee accompanies her friend, Maxine, to a secret meet-up with Maxine’s online boyfriend, but all is not as it seems.

ESSENCE: A friend in need is a friend indeed.

TRAIT YOU CHANGED: I changed Maxine from Tricky to Formidable.

SCENE:

INT. OAKLAND MALL – NIGHT
RENEE, 16, perfectly coifed and polished and MAXINE, 16, fit and muscular, walk down a large corridor.
This is a sad shell of a once vibrant mall. A quarter of the shops are open and there’s an eerie feeling of desolation.
Maxine spots a tall, bald man who walks quickly toward them.
MAXINE
You sure you didn’t tell anyone about this?
RENEE
Absolutely!
MAXINE
Then why is Principle Skinner walking towards us like he’s got a vendetta?
RENEE
Pardonez-moi?
PRINCIPAL SKINNER stops. He wears Sketchers and sweats.
RENEE
Principal Skinner!
PRINCIPAL SKINNER
Girls! What brings you here?
RENEE
I’ll ask you the same!
MAXINE (mumbles)
What business is it of yours?

PRINCIPAL SKINNER
Getting my steps in! The mall’s closing. C’mon. I’ll walk you both out.
RENEE
How kind! Thank you so much!
Renee turns to follow. Maxine shoots her daggers’.
RENEE
But we came to get our Cinnabon on.
PRINCIPAL SKINNER
Oh, well, better hurry. See you at school!
MAXINE
Bye.
RENEE
Au revoir!

MAXINE
What a tool. That was so freaking close. If he tells my parents he saw me, I’m cooked.
RENEE
He runs into students all the time. I’m sure he’s already forgotten about us.
MAXINE
Sure you didn’t tell him I’d be here?
RENEE
Well played. I must admit defeat. I’ve got Principal Skinners personal phone number and I texted him earlier to ask him to meet us at the mall so he could meet your online boyfriend.
MAXINE
Shhh! Don’t talk so loud about it.
RENEE
Let us proceed. I’m sure we’re one step closer to being abducted, but we need get to the fountain before security escorts us out.
MAXINE
What security? There’s nothing to secure. Besides I can handle myself.
RENEE
No dispute there.
They walk past several shops that are closed. The windows are papered over and the entrances are gated and locked.
RENEE
I find this place rather unsettling. Not exactly a romantic rendezvous for your beloved Arlo.
MAXINE
Stop dissing him. You’re free to leave anytime.
RENEE
I refuse to abandon you.
MAXINE
You had no problem leaving me alone before.
RENEE
Could we please refrain from revisiting that topic? I have already apologized.
They pass a suave, middle-aged Albanian Man. He watches them.
Renee grabs Maxine’s hand.
RENEE
(whispering)
Whoa! Creepy. He’s giving off major Ted Bundy vibes.
MAXINE
He’s packing.
Renee turns around for another look. He’s greeted by another Albanian man.
RENEE
Silly us. I think they own that shoe store.
The girls arrive at the fountain. It’s a large pool that use to cascade with fresh clear water, but now it’s empty. The entrance gate on a nearby abandoned shop is half open.
RENEE
Oh, Look, a perfect place for Arlo to kidnap you and whisk you through the back delivery door to a waiting van outside.
MAXINE
As if. Stop trying to make me nervous. What could possibly go wrong?
RENEE
Famous last words.
Both girls sit on the edge of the fountain. Nobody is around.
MAXINE
Where could he be?
Maxine gets out her phone and texts. So does Renee.
Insert Renee’s Phone: She types: “Where are you?” Response: “I’m at Forever 21” She types: “I said the Fountain” Response: “oops, on my way.”
Renee sighs, rolls her eyes, and looks around anxiously.
RENEE
Slowly dying here. What exactly did he say?
MAXINE
Nothing. Maybe something came up.
RENEE
Perhaps it’s for the best. It’s more appropriate to meet a nice fellow at church or at school…
Maxine looks over at a column. Someone stands behind it. She lights up and walks towards it.
MAXINE
Is it you?
Renee fumbles in her purse.
RENEE
Wait. Let me get my pepper spray.
MAXINE
Hello! Arlo?
RENEE
Shouldn’t you be playing hard-to-get?
Maxine circles the column. The person evades her. She keeps circling, trying to catch him. She laughs.
MAXINE
Arlo! It’s me! Maxine!
She catches him by the shirt. He stops and turns: JOSH, 19, a big kid with s soft, dopey face. Maxine is horrified.
MAXINE
Josh!? What the hell?! Renee!
RENEE
Josh, what a coincidence! What brings you here?
JOSH
I uh, I don’t…
He looks helplessly at Renee. Maxine catches on.
MAXINE
Renee. You promised you wouldn’t tell a soul. And now my brother is here! My brother!
Maxine bursts into tears and runs away.
RENEE
Maxine!
MAXINE
I never want to see you again. Ever. (calling) Arlo! Arlo!
Renee turns to run but Josh stops her.
RENEE
I’ve got to make this right!
JOSH
You’ve interfered enough already.
RENEE
I had to tell somebody! I was worried! She can be so reckless! Where is this loser anyway?
JOSH
I made him up.
RENEE
You what?
JOSH
Do you think I’d let her meet a stranger online? It was the only way I could protect her. I thought when the guy didn’t actually show up, it would shatter her fairytale dream and bring her back to reality.
Maxine SCREAMS. There’s a GUNSHOT. Renee and Josh exchange an alarmed glance and take off toward the noise.
RENEE
The Albanians!
Renee and Josh come upon Maxine, in shock, who stands, shaking, holding a gun over a prostrate Albanian.
MAXINE
He tried to grab me!

[Blair Marino]

LOGLINE: Renee is unable to keep Maxine's pregnancy a secret from the whole high school.
ESSENCE: Trust no one.
TRAIT I CHANGED: Maxine's snobbish to panicky
SCENE:

INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY – DAY

A sterile hallway contains lockers lined up and down two parallel walls. Seventeen year old MAXINE turns the combination lock to her locker and opens it. Sixteen year old RENEE approaches Maxine.

RENEE
Hey!

Maxine jumps.

MAXINE
You startled me!

RENEE
Sorry, Hun. How are you feeling?

Maxine suspiciously looks around.

MAXINE
Shhh! Keep your voice down.

Renee looks around the hall and gestures to the students.

RENEE
Look around, Max. No one here is listening. We're all just a bunch of obedient automatons counting down the days until we get out of this public school prison.

Maxine takes some books out from her locker.

MAXINE
(softly)
To answer your question, I feel like shit. It was confirmed at the clinic that I am indeed pregnant.

RENEE
Oh my god.

MAXINE
You have to promise that you will not tell anyone. I can't let it get back to Jack. Since we broke up, I am still intensely triggered whenever I see him.

RENEE
I know you think I'm overly prim at times, but I promise I won't tell a soul.

MAXINE
Good. I can't let anything get in my way with Mitch.

Renee scowls and stares at Maxine.

RENEE
Since when do you like Mitch?

MAXINE
Since now. Our parents have been friends forever and they are coming over to our house for dinner tonight. If I play my cards right, Mitch will be my date to prom.

Renee raises her eyebrows.

RENEE
Well, good luck with that. I gotta run. I'm late for volleyball practice.

MAXINE
Later.

Maxine closes her locker and Renee walks down the hallway.

INT. HIGH SCHOOL GYM – LATER

Loud voices and sneaker squeaks echo through the gym. Renee stands to the side of a net as the rest of the volleyball team warms up. Renee blows a whistle hanging from her neck. The gym noise slowly silences.

RENEE
Coach is going to be about twenty minutes late, so I will be leading and joining the drills until then.

PLAYER
You go, Captain!

The team laughs. Renee smirks.

RENEE
We're going to start out with some serves and receives. Everyone go to your assigned side.

Renee joins the other players for the drill.

INT. GIRL'S LOCKER ROOM – LATER

Renee dries her hair with a towel. She sits down on a bench in front of her open locker. Another player, KELLY, sits down next to her.

KELLY
You okay, Renee? You seemed off your game today.

RENEE
I know. I've got a lot on my mind.

KELLY
Like what?

RENEE
Well for one, I found out that Maxine is trying to get Mitch to go to prom with her.

KELLY
What? Doesn't Maxine know that you have always liked Mitch?

RENEE
Apparently not.

Renee continues to get dressed.

RENEE
And unless she does something soon, she may not be able to fit in a prom dress much longer.

Kelly raises her eyebrows. Another player stands to the side of the lockers and eavesdrops. Renee pretends to be embarrassed.

RENEE
Oh shit. I don't know why I said that.

KELLY
Is Maxine pregnant?

RENEE
I swore I wouldn't tell. Please don't tell anyone.

KELLY
I won't.

INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY – MORNING

Chatter and sounds of lockers opening and closing. Renee quickly tries to get a book out of her locker. All eyes are on Maxine as she beelines to Renee.

MAXINE
How could you?

Renee flinches.

RENEE
I'm so sorry, Max. I didn't mean to let it slip. I told Kelly not to tell anyone.

MAXINE
She didn't. It was Emily.

Renee sighs loudly. Students continue to whisper and stare at Maxine.

MAXINE
I'm totally screwed. Mitch found out and told his parents, who of course told my parents.

RENEE
Wow. Word travels fast.

MAXINE
No shit! It's high school.

Maxine glances around the hallway.

MAXINE
Mitch did ask me to prom, but now I don't know if he's going to still want to go with me. I'm freaking out!

RENEE
It's going to be okay, Max. I've got your back.

Maxine frowns at Renee and darts towards the girl's bathroom. Renee gives a sly smile.

[Firdaus Bilimoria]

Firdaus F Bilimoria Lesson 17 writing exercise

LOGLINE: The perpetual victim Maxine deceives and gets her revenge on her boss.

ESSENCE: A clash of two personalities and worlds, the entitled privileged Renee with all the undeserved recognition and success for work that was created by the vulnerable Maxine who finally stands up for herself and exacts vicious revenge.

TRAIT CHANGED: Maxine – Paranoid to Manipulative

SCENE:

INT. NEWS CHANNEL THEATRE STUDIO RENEE, 40s, Caucasian, stylishly dressed in understated couture, is being interviewed on a stage in front of a live audience by ROTHMAN, 50s, exudes professorial gravitas.

ROTHMAN
One of the most striking elements in the novel, is your profound treatment of every days of regular people.

MAXINE, 30s, mixed-race, bespectacled, is in the audience seated in a side seat. Unlike other members of the audience who are smiling and enjoying the interview, Maxine appears uncomfortable.

RENEE
The proufoundity of the everyday is overwhelming for some of us, and I draw a great deal of inspiration and understanding from this.

CLOSE-UP on Maxine: She smiles bitterly. She looks across the row and locks eyes with BRIAN, 30s, looking at her. She nods imperceptibly, and returns to watching the interview.

The sounds of the interview blur as the camera pans closer into Maxine’s expression.

ROTHMAN
Well, Renee, thanks for sharing your literary process with us. It’s been extremely enlightening, and if I may say so, inspirational to us all.

The audience claps with fervor.

RENEE
Thanks for having me! It’s such an honor being interviewed by an esteemed critic as yourself, with such a scholarly audience. (audience claps) Modern literature needs journalists like you, and this audience, to survive.

Renee stands up smiling, holding her joined palms at the chest, and bows to Rothman and then to the audience. The audiences rises in applause. Maxine remains sitting, she turns to see Brian watching her.

LATER: The studio is almost empty. Maxine and Brian are speaking by the exit. Renee and Rothman are on the stage chatting. Renee keeps looking towards Maxine. Maxine nods and Brian touches her shoulder. He glances at Renee, and turns and leaves. Maxine leans against the wall and looks towards Renee who is now walking towards her.

RENEE
(smiles broadly)
That was good?

MAXINE
(beat)
Yes.

RENEE
Let’s go to my dressing room. A bottle of champagne is waiting for us!

Renee takes Maxine’s arm and guides her.

INT. DRESSING ROOM
Renee and Maxine walk in. A bucket of ice with a champagne bottle is by the dresser. Renee picks up the bottle and reads the label.

RENEE
Ooh fancy schmancy!

Maxine waits by the door. Renee removes the foil and pops the cork. She laughs as the champagne overflows from the bottle. There are glasses on the dresser and she fills up two of them. She beckons to Maxine to come over, and hands hers one of the glasses. They clink glasses.

Renee takes a sip and makes an expression as if she is in heaven. Maxine sips and smiles politely.

RENEE
We have lots to celebrate! (beat) Oh! About that deal, I spoke to my publisher and we will make it worth your while!

MAXINE
Thanks…

RENEE
I saw you talking to that reporter…

MAXINE
Brian…

RENEE
(almost nervous)
He doesn’t know anything. Right?

MAXINE
No.

Renee smiles at Maxine.

MAXINE
We were just chatting.

Still smiling, Renee watches Maxine carefully.

RENEE
(fake warmth)
We couldn’t have done this without you!

Maxine takes a big gulp of the champagne.

RENEE
When we were discussing the deal, the publisher and I, we both agreed that since you did such good work editing
(emphasis on “editing”)
my book, in addition to the bonus we agreed on, you will get an extra 30 percent! From my end.

Renee waits for a reaction from Maxine.

MAXINE
(flat)
Thanks.

RENEE
Good! So… what did you think of the interview?

MAXINE
It was nice.

RENEE
The crowd loved it.

Maxine’s lips almost curl in bitter derision.

MAXINE
It was a good crowd.
(beat)
They liked how you turn certain phrases, almost like some of the characters in the book. Like the ones I created.

Renee evaluates Maxine, she seems not that surprised at the hostility but is apprehensive.

RENEE
What kind of phrases?

MAXINE
Profoundity for one. Is that even in the dictionary?

RENEE
It fits the novel, and the characters.

MAXINE
Which I created. I wasn’t just the editor. You guys brought me on to write the thing. But wouldn’t admit it.

RENEE
We had a deal. The publisher…

MAXINE
Took advantage of my emotional state, with what happened in my family!

RENEE
We were helping you through a tough phase in your life!

MAXINE
You made me write about my life and took credit for it!

RENEE
You are exaggerating! I wrote the book. Some of your ideas made it through but it’s my work. It’s all in the contract we signed.

MAXINE
You plagiarized my life for heaven’s sake!

Maxine is tearing up, almost hysterical in her angst.

RENEE
Now look here Missy! Where I come from a deal’s a deal and you better stick to the one we signed!

MAXINE
Where you come from? Your ivy league banker parents privileged entitled fucking background! What the fuck do you know about the “profoundity” of everyday people of mixed ethnicity?

Renee regards Maxine with steely eyes.

RENEE We have a lot of lawyers where we come from. And we know the people in the publishing business. If you want to continue in that line of work. Get my drift?

Maxine smiles at Renee through her tears.

MAXINE
I always wanted to be a writer.

RENEE
(softens)
We can help you with that.

MAXINE
I don’t need your help, I need a breakthrough. Not a fake one engineered by rich parents like yours.

RENEE
Now I am getting tired of you offending my parents and background! I have lots of minority friends.

Maxine laughs, almost hysterically but with real mirth.

MAXINE
Minority friends? Why didn’t you use that phrase in the interview?

RENEE
Now Maxine I have been nothing but nice with you. It’s the champagne talking. Why don’t you go home and sleep it off and we can talk tomorrow.

Renee sets her glass down firmly.

MAXINE Tomorrow?

RENEE
Yes.

MAXINE
After the news. Brian’s piece comes out tomorrow.

RENEE
(alarmed)
What did you tell Brian?

MAXINE
I told him a story, with documented facts. About how my background, my past life and experiences, that I wrote about, was usurped by you and your… publisher in your book. About how it would be impossible for you to come up with those by yourself.

RENEE
We have a contract! And you assured us that it was all fictional!

MAXINE
So sue me! I want to see if your “publisher” wants to be on the wrong side of the news.

RENEE
You devious untruthful girl. You set us up!

MAXINE
Brian will write the story of your deceit and entitled bullshit that makes you think you can plagiarize my material and my life experience that you know nothing about!

Maxine stands up.

RENEE You little whore! You little pretend victim!

MAXINE
Publicity rules Miss Renee. You taught me that. It will launch my career. You and your publisher can shove that contract… I will find my own publisher by the time this all gets out.

RENEE
(tearful)
Why are you doing this to me? I have always been supportive.

MAXINE
Channel 6.Tomorrow morning 8 AM. Brian will be interviewed about his article. Watch and weep.

They stare at each other. Renee is afraid of what will now come. Maxine leaves.

• This reply was modified 9 months, 1 week ago by  Firdaus Bilimoria.
• This reply was modified 9 months, 1 week ago by  Firdaus Bilimoria.