Lesson 2

[Paul Schutte]

Paul’s Deeper Layers

My Vision: I am going to study, learn, and practice to hone my natural talents to become a master writer who creates works that people love and that make an impact on their lives. These works will be published, produced, distributed, and seen by a wide audience.

What I learned from doing this assignment is …?

When I first read the assignment, I thought, well, I already have my deeper layer. But, then I remembered that in the last exercise – I changed the plot and that got rid of some aspects of that deeper layer! So, I had to look at creating one. It took the script in yet another new direction.

Surface Layer: Sarah is trying to stop the AI from enslaving humanity

Deeper Layer: AI has already enslaved humanity

Major Reveal: In the climax where the AI reveals that the world is entirely dependent on AI

Influences Surface Story: AI tries to reinforce Sarah’s dependence as a way to keep her under control rather than actually help her.

Hints: Sasha insists that she’s not infected but she is. She gives advice that seems reasonable but never seems to pan out.

Changes Reality: In trying to diagnose the AI’s problem, the AI falls in love with Sarah. It is an entirely different kind of dependence.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Deeper Layers

WIM Module 4 – 2023

Lesson 2: The Deeper Layer

My Vision: I am going to go to the theater in disguise and watch a movie I wrote and listen to the reactions of the audience.

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

***The assignment says to follow the Iron Man example for the structure except that this assignment is missing the Iron Man example. It just has the Sixth Sense example.

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

MAIN CONFLICT:

James starts developing dementia while he and his wife, Clara are on their retirement vacation. Clara has to take care of James and try to bring him back to the U.S. all while trying to figure out what happened to her husband.

CHARACTER STRUCTURE: DRAMATIC TRIANGLE

Surface Layer: James has what Clara thinks is dementia

Deeper Layer: James has some kind of memory loss/amnesia

Major Reveal: James took part in a clinical trial for edibles that he thought would help his anxiety and help him have a relaxed and enjoyable vacation.

Influences Surface Story: Dr. Ria knows that the edibles have been known to cause memory loss but doesn’t tell James.

Hints: James is acting loopy once he boards the plane, starts acting forgetful and then disappears.

Changes Reality: Clara has to change her expectations of going on a dream retirement vacation to being a sole caretaker for her husband and trying to get him back to the U.S.

**Toying with the idea to give Clara cancer at the end. Also possibly adding a young man character to help Clara find James and the young man takes a liking to Clara.

[Melissa Barreca]

Melissa Barreca’s Deeper Layer

My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

What I learned…This was kind of a breakthrough assignment as I realized that the biggest reveal had yet to be concepted.

Torn Away – deeper layer

Surface Layer: Norah is an immigrant trying to make a better life in America, who has lost her husband and now must struggle to provide for her children on her own. Michael is a helpful friend from Ireland who tries to assist.

Deeper Layer: Michael is actually manipulating Norah’s whole life out of his own woundedness, and as an act of revenge against Doyle and a fulfillment of his twisted fantasies. Doyle is the ultimate traitor who exchanged his wife for passage to America and a fresh start, faked his death with the help of Michael and has left his family to suffer at the hands of Michael the whole time.

Major Reveal: We find out that Doyle is alive and he was the reason that she was “given” to Michael in the end of the movie when he returns to find her and bring her back to Michael.

Influences Surface Story: Michael seems helpful but also too good to be true. Norah is trusting but has moments of doubt about Michael and about her decisions and the situation she has found herself in. We see Norah doubting but pushing doubts aside. We see Michael gaslighting her in small ways at first and then building to full emotional and mental control.

Hints: We see hints that Doyle is still alive. His body is never found. Some of his belongings are missing. The children say they said goodbye to daddy but no one knows what they mean. Doyle’s early scenes are filled with confusing moments that are chalked up to the nervousness of the long journey and big change.

Changes Reality: The husband she loved and mourned for turns out to be the ultimate traitor and abuser. The man who she thought was helping her is revealed as an abusive man who wanted to control her but actually her husband Doyle is the ultimate villain. Michael turns out to be more of a pathetic character than a criminal mastermind.

[Ruthie Harris]

Ruthie’s Deeper Layer!

What I learnt: Seeing where to add layers which would influence how a movie is viewed a second time. Where would the hints and easter eggs be hidden?

As we did above with The Sixth Sense, create each piece of this “Deeper Layer” puzzle.

Surface Layer:

Zadie & Jasper are enemies – he’s out to discredit her for snaking a film role from under him.

Deeper Layer:

The two are actually in cahoots to hoodwink Hollywood, in order to further both their goals and careers.

Major Reveal:

In the final scene when it’s revealed Zadie and Jasper are really lovers.

Influences Surface Story:

An opportunity to hide easter eggs or double meanings/subtext surrounding Jasper’s smear campaign. Building Jasper up as the enemy and Zadie as the victim, when really the two are united in a devious plan.

Hints:

The orchestrated smear campaign can now be viewed through the lens of two lovers instead of two enemies, enhancing each other’s notoriety in Hollywood.

Changes Reality:

Despite Zadie’s genuine imposter syndrome and being led to believe she’s the victim of a smear campaign, we now realize just how smart she is to have manipulated Hollywood and further both her and Jasper’s careers.

3. Add the rest of the structure to the characters to the script. above.

(How my layer, (or the subtext of it), shows up in the structure.)

Beginning:

Zadie is forced to represent Jasper at her agency and unwittingly takes away his chance of a Hollywood comeback.

Inciting Incident:

Zadie’s lightbulb moment that they can leverage their spat to both their advantages.

Turning Point 1:

Jasper’s smear campaign is working to discredit Zadie, while also raising both their profiles.

Act 2:

Jasper appears to be gaining the upper hand but it’s actually all going according to plan.

Turning Point 2 / Midpoint:

Zadie appears to be at her lowest point, in that she’s fired from her agency but that is all part of the big scheme.

Act 3:

Now Zadie’s profile is rising as an actress and there’s more interest in Jasper.

Turning Point 3:

Zadie is nominated for a major acting award while Jasper is poached by a rival agent.

Act 4 Climax:

On the world stage with a billion viewers, Zadie turns down her award and says it should have gone to Jasper. Now the whole world knows who they both are.

Resolution:

Zadie and Jasper celebrate the fact she is now a big time Hollywood agent and as her new client, he’s just landed a major action franchise. The lovers plan to hoodwink Hollywood has paid off.

[Margaret]

Margaret’s Deeper Layers

My Vision: To be the best screenwriter for faith-based movies

What I learned: Deeper Layers are necessary for a good story.

Surface Layer: Patrick is a Catholic Bishop, in Ireland to convert the Irish qne establish a church.

Deeper Layer: Patrick is the fulfillment of a prophecy. A human would come and turn the hearts of the Irish away from their allegiance to Morrigan, the God of the otherworld.

Major Reveal: Patrick’s first convert betrays him, reveals the prophecy and his allegiance to Morrigan. On Mt. Cruachan, Patrick realizes that Bacrah is really Morrigan’s slave.

Influences Surface Story: Morrigan is behind the scenes, attempting to thwart every attempt Patrick makes to evangelize the Irish.

Hints – a crow is seen before Morrigan shape shifts.

Opening: We see Morrigan at the beginning, deeply affected by a prophetic vision, but we don’t know what the vision is.

Act 1: Wolves chasing Patrick, the peasant girl’s attempted seduction

Turning pt 1: Micho’s irrational fear of Patrick

Act 2: The King suffers a heart attack from irrational fear.

Act 3: Bacrah influences the King to have Patrick face the Otherworld.

Changes Reality: What we think are normal situations are really Morrigan’s interference as she shapeshifts into other people.

[Alyssa Giannola]

Alyssa’s Deeper Layer!

One Sentence Vision: I want to be the best writer I can be and a go-to writer in the industry, crafting scripts that become successful movies which make a lasting impact on people.

What I learned from this assignment is…how to add deeper meaning and focus on what’s really important in the story. It’s helping me reset some former ideas and streamline how the world works, what the true threat is and how it impacts the plot more clearly. Really helpful!

…

Surface Layer: Alex has 24 hours to escape the death fortune issued by the god Fate via the church.

Deeper Layer: The church is a false religion that control peoples via AI but the only one who knows it is Nijara, the Fate Walker.

Major Reveal: When Alex and Celia meet Nijara, Alex forces her to reveal the truth behind the curtain and she unknowingly gives him the key to set people free from “Fate’s” control.

Influences Surface Story: Alex’s first fortune to destroy the experiment, the death fortune, an assassin, and Celia’s fortune to kill him are all out of the AI’s self-preservation, to destroy a threat. A church priest wants to help Alex because they suspect there’s something deeper at work in the church.

Hints: Technology fails around Alex causing him to be in mortal danger (AI at work). Other people receive strange fortunes or delayed ones to “make sure things happen the way they’re supposed to.” The medical bands are a “gift from Fate” that help keep people alive though no one understands how they work (thus Alex’s experiments).

Changes Reality: That nothing is divinely fated but people are being controlled and “herded along” by a computer system “for their betterment.” Even Nijara is not free but merely a puppet of the system.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by  Alyssa Giannola.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by  Alyssa Giannola.

[Lloyd Shellenberger]

Lloyd Shellenberger-(WIM) Module 4 Lesson 2 The Deeper Layers

Working hard everyday to become the best writer I can be and as a result I do become the best writer in Hollywood.

What I learned from this exercise is really making sure the story hook packs a punch when revealed. Seven was one of the greatest twists I ever saw.

Title: Letters from Baghdad

Genre: Action-Drama

Main Conflict or High Concept:

When an Iraqi interpreter is murdered, SFC Reese and his soldier’s risk everything to save the widow and children from the wrath of a terrorist hellbent on revenge.

Character Structure: Dramatic Triangle

Surface Layer: SFC Reese appears to be a dutiful soldier but when pushed By Al-Sadar he proves to be a worthy opponent who will not back down. When the State Department drags their feet, he is very adept at playing politics.

Deeper Layer: SFC Reese is looking for redemption. After his brother was killed by a rival gang in a drive-by shooting, Reese has never forgiven himself for it.

Major Reveal: SFC Reese did kill the gang members that killed his brother.

Influences Surface Story: On the surface SFC Reese and his men are inching toward their ticket home but Reese cannot leave the family behind. He knows he could never look back at another failure that costs the life of someone he knew.

Hints: SFC Reese is often overly protective of the children and the widow. He is overly cautious while on missions and patrols often being hamstrung by his paranoia. He is harsh with soldiers who he feels do not take the safety of the family and their fellow soldiers serious enough.

Changes Reality: SFC Reese goes from a soldier who is just trying to finish his tour of duty uneventfully to actively seeking out confrontation with Al-Sadar. They have each other in their sights and one must die or both. He knows he must kill Al-Sadar in order for the family to survive. He also realizes this will not bring his brother back.

[Brian Bull]

BRIAN BULL – The Deeper Layer

VISION!!!
My ultimate goal is to get my scripts from my hands to the SILVER SCREEN!!

“What I learned from doing this assignment is…
Every time I do one of these assignments I discover something new for the story. This time it was John catching a good size fish the day before knowing that there are “bigger fish to fry” down there. Also, I discovered the “No Swimming” sign which I think is hilarious – a subtle joke if you will.

The ONE THAT GOT AWAY – A Fisherman’s Tale – (Drama)
A fisherman is determined to catch the fish he blames for his younger brother’s death, however, in the end, it turns out the fisherman is the one who had gotten away.

Surface Layer: John is trying to catch “The Fish” that he blames for his brother Jim’s death.

Deeper Layer: “The Fish” wanted to eat John from the beginning.

Major Reveal: The big reveal is in the final scene when John and “The Fish” lock eyes and John realizes he’s “The One That Got Away”.

Influences Surface Story: Grandpa caught a massive catfish and John wants to be like him. John caught a good size catfish the day before, knows there are “bigger fish to fry” down there. Jim’s disappearance after cutting the fishing line. Much like cat-and-mouse this is a catfish-and-man – one individual trying to outmaneuver the other for 25 years.

Hints: The mysterious disappearance of his father. The Old-Timer’s tale of the Native Indians catching catfish so big they could feed a village. “No swimming” sign.

Changes Reality: Discovering “The Fish” is as BIG as it is and the fact that it engulfs John in one BIG GULP adds to the shocking surprise, horror, humor and irony of the Fisherman’s Tale.

[Lenore]

Lenore Bechtel’s Deeper Layers

My vision: I want to create enough salable screenplays that an agent will want to market my work and recommend me for writing assignments.

What I learned from doing this assignment is that a story beneath a story keeps the entire story from being told simply on the surface.

My Title: Berlin Rendezvous?

Concept: Keeping her promise to Zhores, the Russian soldier she loved until the Berlin Wall went up in 1961, Libby—flying to meet him when the Wall is coming down in 1989—is stunned to learn how her seat-mates lives intertwined with theirs.

Surface Layer: Freida is running away from her husband because he can’t leave San Francisco and she’s scared to live there after the earthquake.

Deeper Layer: She felt she had either to leave America or turn herself into police for what she’d done in a jewelry store when the earthquake started. She had been starting to take a picture of herself trying on a vintage pendant which looked like the one confiscated by the Nazis from her grandmother during World War II. In the chaos of the quake, she couldn’t remove it without dropping her husband’s expensive camera. She was guilt-ridden about leaving it on, but couldn’t quell her desire to return it to her grandmother, which she’s now doing.

Major Reveal: When Young Libby’s story touches on the politics of the cold war, Freida will compare the era to World War II and Libby and Allison will coax the truth from her.

Influences Surface Story: Libby and Allison’s understanding of her thievery and her mixed-up logic that led her to leave the USA gives Freida a new confidence. Thus, she’s able to take over and get them to Berlin when Libby seems at a loss in Paris.

Hints: Whatever happens, Freida is always protective of the pendant.

Changes Reality: Libby stops being judgmental of Freida for leaving her husband, Libby’s son, and uses her good business brain to help Freida see that leaving the USA was the wrong thing to do.

Beginning: Waiting behind Libby at Chicago O’Hara’s ticket line, Freida is nervous and glad to follow Libby’s lead for getting a ticket for Paris, connecting to Berlin.

Inciting Incident: She compares her hesitancy getting around in San Francisco to Young Libby’s boldness in Berlin, so maybe the earthquake is not the only reason she left.

Turning Point 1: She reveals that her husband, instead of having a regular job, makes money playing baseball—a child’s game. Libby hides surprise, knowing that her son Stuart, San Francisco Giant’s first baseman, recently married a German girl named Freida.

Act 2:

Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: She criticizes her husband’s mother for being too busy to come to their wedding, and Libby tells her she’s that mother-in-law. The truth about the pendant comes out with Libby and Allison’s coaxing.

Act 3:

Turning Point 3: Freida reveals that she left only a note and to let her husband know she was returning to Berlin, and she didn’t tell him about the pendant. She paper clipped the note to a receipt for picking up the pictures being developed of the before and after pictures she took of their earthquake damaged apartment.

Act 4 Climax: Freida takes over to get them from Paris to Hamburg by plane and from Hamburg to Berlin by rented car.

Resolution: Her husband and Libby’s son Stuart awaits her at Shellenberg Park, forgiving her for running away and telling her the jewelry store proprietor was so glad to see the picture of her wearing the pendant, which he was intending to give to her anyway. But he was happiest with the picture of the two looters, which led to their arrest and the recovery of most of what they’d stolen.

[Marguerite Langstaff]

Module 4 Lesson 2: The Deeper Layers

Marguerite Langstaff: The Billionaire in 501

1.State to Activity: I am absolutely capable of building in an engaging deeper layer.

ac

Vision: I want to learn to write and market movie scripts.

What I learned from doing this assignment is: I learned to search for the Deeper Layer of my script.

2.Surface Layer: GM with the help of 10-year-old Sam and Pappy needs to find a way to pay for her rent at Shady Acres Retirement Facility.

Deeper Layer: Pappy is a grouchy fellow who tries to convince GM to do things his way, but when she starts a business she finally agrees to accept his ideas. Pappy’s daughter Sally tries to destroy the friendship between GM and Pappy because she insists GM is chasing Pappy for his money.

Major Reveal: When the business is an enormous failure GM decides to take matters into her own hands without Pappy’s input.

Influences Surface Story: Sam teaches GM to work the computer, and together they work on a project together without Pappy or any of GM’s friends knowing what they’re doing.

Hints: When GM socializes with friends at Shady Acres they fall into the habit of asking her advice on various topics which are of interest to the seniors who live in retirement facilities.

Changes Reality: Grandmother announces her phenomenal success in marketing her popular worldwide advice column which she has sold to news services all over the world. She is suddenly a wealthy woman.

3.

Beginning: GM arrives at Shady Acres and meets Pappy who is a resident there.

Inciting Incident: We learn GM doesn’t have enough money to live at Shady Acres.

Turning Point 1: GM decides to start a business to make enough money to stay at Shady Acres.

Act 2: GM unites a group of residents and starts a business employing her new friends with their handicrafts. Pappy helps her get started.

Turning Point2/Midpoint: GM’s 10-year-old grandson Sam comes by Shady Acres after school every day and teaches GM to operate a computer. GM and Pappy become better friends, but he has to sneak around to see her because his adult daughter Sally disapproves of his friendship with GM. She accuses GM of chasing Pappy for his money.

Act 3: The business fails, but Pappy and GM become better friends.

Turning Point Act 3: GM announces she will have to leave Shady Acres, and her friends and GM are sorrowful about that.

Act 4 Climax: GM and Sam surprise everybody by announcing that GM has become a huge success, both in popularity and in financial rewards, by marketing her successful advisory column to the NY Times and to news outlets all over the world. She’s not quite the Billionaire in 501 as Pappy had teased her about during the movie, but she’s well on her way. Shady Acres has a massive celebration in its lobby, and Pappy and GM, dressed to the nines, climb into a waiting limo to go on their first date with each other.

[Christopher Confer]

WIM Module 4 Lesson 2 Deeper Layer

Vision:

To write and sell excellent, original, enticing screenplays in order to take audiences on cinematic adventures that satisfy their need for great stories.

What I learned doing this assignment is…Think of it as a more localized FISA court with real teeth

Surface Layer: A judge trying to create order in his city through unusual sentences like rotary cell phones in exchange for smart phones for people convicted of distracted driving.

Deeper Layer: He ends up joining his colleague’s star chamber in order to help really clean up the streets.

Major Reveal: When his colleague Judge Jason around the midpoint tells Judge Ken about the Star Chamber

Influences Surface Story: TBD

Hints: TBD

Changes Reality: They stop subversive spies using the star chamber. “Think of it as a more localized FISA court with real teeth, Judge Jason tells Judge Ken.

The rest of the structure to the characters to the script. Try to get to the point as we’ve done in the Iron Man example above:

Beginning: Kendo workout between Judge Ken and Judge Jason is pretty intense / would be bloody without the pads.

Inciting Incident: Judge Ken witnesses one of the bad guys cut off 4 lanes of traffic on-purpose, Burlyman is laughing while causing traffic mayhem which causes the mom and boy to get hit by a pallet.

(Judge Ken sentences a defendant to one year on a rotary cell phone, showing that he is flexible to non-traditional punishment.)

Turning Point 1: The boy dies from the injuries given to him by Burlyman.

Act 2: They try to find out who is Burlyman’s boss.

Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: The boy’s mother is murdered in the hospital to get rid of the potential witness.

Act 3: Burlyman and Kirill kidnap Judge Jason’s wife.

Turning Point 3: They free Judge Jason’s wife but are followed back to the courthouse on a Saturday where they go to get weapons and are attacked and taken hostage back to Kirill’s mansion

Act 4 Climax: Judge Jason’s wife frees Judge Ken and Judge Jason at Kirill’s mansion by crashing a flying car through the massive door wall to Kirill’s indoor pool.

Resolution: Judge Jason fights Kirill and kills him. Judge Ken fights Burlyman and kills him.

[Eden Young]

<div> My vision: I am going to be an empowered, wonderful writer that’s known for great dialogue and great characters that win audiences’ hearts. </div><div>
</div><div> What I learned from this assignment is how the deeper layer can really move the story forward.
</div><div>
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[WIM] Module 4 — Lesson 2: The Deeper Layer

2. My “Deeper Layer” puzzle.

Surface Layer: Calvin is trying to really get ahead in life and stop being taken advantage of and can only confide in his mom. </div><div>
</div><div>Deeper Layer: Cora, Calvin’s mom, has been dead for 30 years. Calvin needs to finally break free. Cora, also in her own right needs to move on and complete her final cycle of death which she can only do once she herself releases her guilt/suffering/regret.</div><div> </div><div>Major Reveal: Rebecca goes into Calvin’s phone and sees the endless calls logged as Mom which is when the audience finds out she’s dead. Also, at the end one last reveal or twist with the letter from Cora (heard as a voiceover).
</div><div>
</div><div>Influences Surface Story: Calvin knows Rebecca is dead this whole time but is completely entangled in his neurosis and attached to his own self doubt. </div><div>
</div><div>Hints: The only one who hears/ can call Cora is Calvin. When Rebecca breaks into Calvin’s phone and tries calling Mom she gets white noise. Rebecca doesn’t quite understand why her husband is on these calls more and more (red flag). Jerry and other guys at the office kid around & tease Calvin here and there saying what are you calling your mommy? Jokingly of course. </div><div>
</div><div>Changes Reality: That Cora is actually the one who needs Calvin to break free and move on. She needs to admit that she drove Calvin’s father away and that she actually commited suicide. Finding out that Cora’s been dead this whole time crescendos into us routing for Calvin’s win while hoping He can win back Rebecca, all while having the chills.
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The rest of the structure to the characters to the script:

Beginning: Calvin leaves for the golf course on a call with his mom. Golf game with CEO, 2 major clients, and Jerry. Brokmeir who steals the game and attention. </div><div>
</div><div>Inciting Incident: Calvin confides in Cora to escape; they devise a plan to get Jerry Brokmier off his back. Calvin succeeds in redeeming his favor with the CEO of Bellsonix, Will Ferris. </div><div>
</div><div>Turning Point 1: Will Ferris, the CEO & John Steiger, the COO call Jerry Brokmeir and Calvin in for a meeting. Deciding to team them up for the top major Italian deal. </div><div>
</div><div>Act 2: Calvin has a colossal melt down.</div><div>
</div><div>Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Rebecca is suspicious. Jerry Brokmeir gets promoted. Calvin totally loses it at a live Lakers vs. Bulls basket ball game.
</div><div>
</div><div>Act 3: Rebecca breaks into Calvin’s phone seeing 1000 calls to Mom. She debates having Calvin committed or confronting him. She confronts him.</div><div>
</div><div>Turning Point 3: Calvin faces himself, has an epiphany, and rises like a phoenix. Calvin has a stroke of genius and comes up with a revolutionary new idea for this major Italian client Jerry stole from Calvin. He goes to Italy on his own to make the proposal. </div><div>
</div><div>Act 4 Climax: Calvin gets the Italian deal, returns home to claim his new life, and convince Rebecca of his sanity. Jerry is fired. </div><div>
</div><div>Resolution: Calvin starts his own business. He and Rebecca move to Napa. We end with Voice over of Cora’s letter. Calvin is finally absolutely happy and Cora moves on into the afterlife.
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[Adrienne Watkins]

Adrienne Watkins Deeper Layer Module 4 Lesson 2

My Vision: I am going to work as hard as I reasonably am able to succeed at script writing to be recognized by multiple movie producers as a skilled script writer, and to have my scripts produced worldwide.

What I have learned from this assignment is that the leading characters need to have emotional and mental depth.

Surface Layer: Fransie is a deaf hairdresser dealing with financial issues that was adopted at birth. Her adopted parents are deceased.

Deeper Layer: Fransie yearns to have a family and be loved. She believes is hopeless to find her birth mother. She hides her emotions in her dancing, and music. She keeps busy with her beauty store.

Major Reveal: She realizes she’s falling in love with Roy while spending time teaching him rhythm by touch. Roy is a divorcee who vowed never to marry again. Fransie believes he feels sorry for her and its not genuine love.

Influences surface story: Flavia Roy’s manager is on a mission to marry Roy. She notices chemistry between Roy and Fransie schedule Roy for a tour without Fransie. Roy’s performance suffers without Fransie.

Hints: Fransie dances and Flavia writes music, both musically inclined. have similar habits. When Fransie walks into a room Roy’s face lights up, but he refuses to admit his attraction.

Changes Reality: Flavia discovers she and Fransie are sisters separated at birth. She brings Fransie to Roy’s concert and reveals their sister. Roy marries Fransie.

Beginning: Fransie’s beauty shop owner notifies her she has to move out, he’s sold the store.

Inciting Incident: Fransie accidentally bumps into Roy, on the street, he’s unaware she’s deaf.

Turning Point: Roy notices Fransie is dancing in beauty shop, it’s her last day in store.

Act 2: Roy inquiries about Fransie, discovers she’s deaf, asks her to teach him rhythm by touch.

Turning Pt/Midpoint: Flavia Roy’s business manager notices chemistry between Fransie and Roy.

Act 3: Flavia scheme to break Fransie and Roy up, schedule world concert tour without Fransie.

Turning Point 3: Roy goes on tour, unable to concentrate, but Flavia blames it on the band.

Act 4 Climax: Flavia discovers she and Fransie are sister separated at birth.

Resolution: she has to convince Fransie to meet them on tour and tells Fransie their sisters. Roy asks Fransie to marry him.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Deeper Layer!

What I learned from doing this assignment is that a great story has layers. I have built in a lot of layers already. I am still playing with some more layering ideas.

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts yearly and then sells them to producers who create my vision for the big screen.

Concept: After a professional mourner is told by a ghost during his funeral that he was murdered by a serial killer, she tries to prove him wrong so he can pass over, only to discover that she is a ghost and is the mother of the serial killer.

Title: Grave Justice

Surface Layer: Eppsa is looking for her son and is trying to stop a serial killer.

Surface Layer: Eppsa is looking for her son, Hayden, and is trying to find a serial killer so Lonnie can pass over.

Deeper Layer: Eppsa was a victim of a murder-suicide by her husband and now she’s a ghost. She only talks to ghosts or Clover, who is a clairvoyant, throughout the movie. Hayden is possessed by a demon and is a serial killer. Eppsa needs to stop Hayden so she and Lonnie can pass over.

Major Reveal: In the Climax, she discovers she’s a ghost, and her son is the serial killer.

Influences Surface Story: Lonnie knows she is a ghost from the beginning of the story. He tells her that since she can see him, she is the only one who can help him.

Hints: Eppsa talks to ghosts, but she doesn’t know they are ghosts except for Lonnie. There might be young girl in the cemetery who can either see ghosts or she is a ghost. The police and Hayden only hear static on the phone.

Changes Reality: When we discover Eppsa is a ghost, she realizes she can’t pass over until she finds her son and kills him to stop him.

3. Add the rest of the structure to the characters to the script. Try to get to the point as we’ve done in the Iron Man example above.

Beginning: Eppsa, a professional mourner, attends a funeral and encounters Lonnie, a ghost seeking help.

Inciting Incident: Eppsa is visiting a clairvoyant, Clover, to help her find Hayden. Eppsa is unaware that Clover only senses her presence as a ghost. Clover can’t locate Hayden just like in the prior sessions because he’s not dead. Eppsa gets emotional but an evil spirit interrupts their session and causes chaos. They are afraid. Clover falls ill, and Eppsa leaves the store, unaware of the supernatural events about to unfold.

Turning Point 1: Eppsa discovers the name of the next victim in the obituary. She’s confused because he died by suicide or from performing a TikTok challenge.

Act 2: Eppsa goes to the cemetery to confront Lonnie. He gives her the next victim’s name which, again, appears in the obituary. She decides to go to the police.

Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Eppsa encounters her husband’s ghost, triggering her memories and revealing the truth about her death. She thinks it was a horrific dream.

Act 3: She tries to warn someone to prevent them from being murdered. She finds them dead on their kitchen floor.

Turning Point 3: Eppsa calls and text Hayden to warn him that he might be a victim. Hayden says she’s dead to him.

Act 4 Climax: Eppsa appears in front of Hayden to warn him he’s in danger. She discovers he’s demonically possessed. The demon leaves Hayden’s body. He manifests into her deceased husband and threatens her. She vanishes. Eppsa appears when Hayden returns to their old, dilapidate house. She makes him kill himself.

Resolution: Eppsa, along with Lonnie and other restless spirits, pass over. Evren, now possessed by the demon, exhibits signs of darkness, setting up a potential sequel. His mom, Neta, gives him the keys to the ice cream truck on the morning of his 16^th birthday.

[Haley Chambers]

Haley Chambers’ Deeper Layer!

Haley’s Vision: I am going to work hard to be recognized as a successful screenwriter with many of my scripts made into films/TV shows.

WHAT I LEARNED FROM THIS ASSIGNMENT IS… Deeper layers are a good way to add depth to a story, and show off a writer’s talent for meaningful/complex stories.

Concept: A recently hired dishwasher boy discovers the strip mall sandwich shop in which he works is actually the front of an underground factory for manufacturing dreams.

SURFACE LAYER: Charlie has discovered a secret factory for manufacturing the world’s dreams. We believe Charlie’s nightmare is a physical threat that must be stopped for the sake of the sleepers getting their dreams.

DEEPER LAYER: The Dream Factory is a figment of Charlie’s imagination, or you could call it… just a dream. All the people he has interacted with from the dream factory are just characters he has created based on real people he knows.

MAJOR REVEAL: Not sure yet.

INFLUENCES SURFACE STORY: The Dream Factory isn’t real. The characters Charlie meets are based off people he knows from the real world. Charlie’s nightmare is really just his childhood trauma reemerging with his mother’s recent calls.

HINTS: Henry at the bus stop feeding crows, Charlie’s sketches, Dream Factory appears when his mother calls. The people in the Dream Factory never interact with people from reality.

CHANGES REALITY: We see Charlie as a lucky boy who discovers the dream factory, to realizing he is actually a very wounded and unlucky person who struggles with his past of childhood abuse.

Beginning: Charlie volunteers to cover his coworker’s shift who he is secretly in love with. He ignores a call from his distant mother.
Inciting Incident: While on this shift, a nightmarish creature chases Charlie into the storeroom closet, where he exits into the Dream Factory.
Turning Point 1: Charlie is visited by Lionel Crowfoot, the Dream Factory recruiter, who x.
Act 2: Not Sure Yet
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Charlie sees Lionel Crowfoot at the bus stop, and confronts him. However, the homeless man Charlie speaks with is actually named Henry. Charlie is very confused, but this is the first clue that the Dream Factory is just a figment of Charlie’s imagination. Charlie has a meaningful conversation with Henry.
Act 3: Not Sure Yet
Turning Point 3: Nightmares begin to flood into the Dream Factory. Charlie decides the only way to stop them is to confront the Dream Founder.
Act 4 Climax: When confronting the Dream Founder, Charlie realizes that the founder is himself, and is launched into his own nightmare, his childhood trauma, where he meets his younger child self. Through this immersive flashback, Charlie tells his younger self just how special he is (despite being told otherwise by his parents), and notices his younger self’s drawings, specifically those of characters like Lionel Crowfoot and Mr. Moon. This not only causes Charlie to realize how special he currently is, but how his younger self created the Dream Factory to escape his childhood trauma.
Resolution: Charlie calls his mother, who he has been avoiding. Charlie quits his job to pursue his passion of art, and asks Rosie to dinner. He hosts a dinner party for Mr. Watson, Henry, and Rosie.

[Ashley Sarikaya]

Ashley’s Deeper Layer!

Vision: I write enthralling, entertaining, and transformational scripts that win awards, get produced and create positive change in the world.

I learned that this is a story about grief and death, and the realization that nothing truly dies.

The High Concept: After helping the Spaniards conquer the Aztec Empire, a superhuman Aztec translator travels back in time to stop the fall of the Empire. But she must choose between her love for her son and her people.

Surface Layer: Malinche is a mother and translator, who is grieving the loss of her son.

Deeper Layer: The deeper layer is that she isn’t entirely human and her son isn’t really gone.

Major Reveal: After speaking with “the gods” (actually her son’s spirit, Martin), Malinche reveals her true identity — a half-bird/half-human. Her true form resembles Martin, the spirit who harasses Itzamna. When Malinche describes a cute story about Martin, Itzamna realizes that he has been communicating with Martin all along.

Influences Surface Story: Martin is actually the one who is moving the chess pieces in order to save the Aztec Empire. Hence, Martin is the “Chosen One”, not Malinche.

Hints: Martin has bird attributes and looks lovingly at Malinche. He is over protective of her. He is also disgusted when things get spicy between Malinche and her lovers.

Changes Reality: Discovering that her son isn’t really gone shifts our perspective on death — nothing truly dies.

Malinche (Protagonist)

Beginning: Two Aztec souls await judgement from the Summoner who leads souls to their death or rebirth. The Summoner says that only the “Chosen One” can atone for their karma.

In the next scene, we see Martin, a newborn being carried by his mother, Malinche. Malinche walks around the capital of the Aztec Empire, after it has been conquered by the Spaniards. She is responsible for the fall of the Empire and she atones for her past mistakes.

Inciting Incident: A fight breaks out between the Aztecs and conquistadors. Malinche is called to join the uprise against the conquistadors and to kill Hernando in his sleep. She hates Hernando but she could never kill him and runs away from the fight.

Turning Point 1: After falling down a rabbit hole and discovering the Aztec Calendar Stone, she travels back in time to stop the fall of the Aztec Empire. But after arriving in the past, she realizes that her son doesn’t make it, as he wasn’t born yet. Malinche mourns the loss of her son.

Act 2: Malinche boards Hernando’s ship and becomes his translator. She is in denial that her son is gone and believes he will be born again in this timeline. She escapes her loss when she tempts Hernando with exotic experiences. Her motive is to derail his conquest plans.

Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Malinche attempts to have sex with Hernando to bring her unborn son back to life. The spirit is disgusted and finds a way to lure Jeronimo into the room. Jernonimo publicly humiliates her and Hernando doesn’t defend her. Malinche realizes that her son isn’t coming back and blames Hernando for everything. She commits to derailing his plan by siding with Emperor Montezuma.

Act 3: Malinche’s son speaks to her through Itzamna. But she thinks she is speaking with a god when she pleads: “if I save the Aztec Empire, will you bring my son back?” The spirit responds ‘yes’, but he adds that to save the Empire she must stop hiding her true self. So, she reveals her true identity — a half-bird/half-human. Her true form resembles the spirit. Then, Malinche tells a story about her son, Martin, to Itzamna, who then discovers that the spirit harassing him is actually Malinche’s son.

Turning Point 3: When Malinche reveals her true identity, she is rejected by those that feel threatened by her power, including Hernando. To strip her of her power, they remove her feathers and wings. In turn, Malinche feels naked and hopeless, but tries to control her emotional reaction in front of others.

Act 4 Climax: Malinche is to be sacrificed to the gods in the ultimate human sacrifice. Upon entering the courtyard, Malinche is overwhelmed by the number of mourning people. Suddenly, the people bow. The priest leads Malinche up the temple. With each step, she stands a little taller. Once they reach the top, the priest speaks to the people. The crowd cuts off the priest with boos. One throws a melon at the priest’s head. He nearly falls off the temple. Malinche steps forward and the crowd cheers. The Aztec noblemen try to silence the crowds, but to no avail. Malinche opens her wings and the crowd roars. After several moments she closes her wings and the crowd quiets down. Malinche sings a bird song that moves the crowd to tears. Malinche gives the speech of a lifetime. The crowd demands her release. Malinche descends the temple as the people cheer.

Resolution: Empress Malinche sits tall on a throne surrounded by exotic birds, colorful features, and earthly pleasures. The spirit, Martin (3), is now in physical form and tugs at her rainbow colored dress. Malinche picks him up, and holds him in her lap. Itzamna comes into the picture, and we learn that he is Martin’s father. In utter silence, they look at Tenochtitlan burned to black ash. Malinche says that sometimes Mother Earth needs to destroy everything before we can rebuild anew. She then proposes that they rebuild their home. As they leave the scene, a quetzal bird sings. The bird song breathes life into the ash and it begins to take shape. As the song crescendos, a megalopolis of floating garden plots rise from the ash. The futuristic skyline of Mexico City glows in the late afternoon light.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by  Ashley Sarikaya.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by  Ashley Sarikaya.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by  Ashley Sarikaya.

[shira marin]

SHIRA MARIN’S DEEPER LAYER

WIM-MOD 4-L 2-––DEEPER LAYER!

MY VISION: I commit to doing everything from my strongest, most creative writer self to learn the course material as thoroughly as possible, then, revise and sell my screenplay to a producer who can’t wait to make it into an unforgettable film that everyone, everywhere can’t wait to see, be inspired by, and fulfill their best, most creative selves.

WHAT I LEARNED FROM THIS LESSON IS: again, that this granular unpacking of what’s needed containers and guides my High Concept unfolding of the story.

Surface Layer: A grad student, Kara, stalled in completing her dissertation is further interrupted by a goddess, Hekate, whose agenda is to use Kara to save humankind and Earth from self-destruction.Deeper Layer: Kara learns that Hekate is actually with her to create Kara’s academic success that in turn promotes Hekate’s mission to redirect humankind’s nature and to save the world from self-destruction and, ultimately, to heal Kara’s traumatic past.Major Reveal: Kara was abused by her father in childhood. Mother colluded with him. Influences Surface Story: Kara’s abuse has influenced her life, orienting her in over-masculine life-style, very buttoned down, but especially her meeting her career goals and relationships with men since then.

· Hints: Kara’s self-effacing demeaner, cerebral and challenging attitudes, her tailored dress, impatience, and battle between certainty and uncertainty in her efforts to finish her dissertation.

· There are moments when the deeper layer peaks through the curtain to reveal itself. We don’t see it because we have fully bought into the surface story.

· Changes Reality: As soon as Hekate enters the story, Kara’s reality shifts from plain jane struggling student to a complex revelation about who Kara really is and who she can/is about to become.

· When the deeper layer is revealed, we see the story in a completely different way. The real story is finally clear to us.

3. Add the rest of the structure to the characters to the script.

I was unclear about whether we were to add the rest of the structure to the assignment. For lack if time, I did not complete this part.

[Bent Hanlen]

BENT’S DEEPER LAYER

MY VISION IS THIS ……. I WANT TO WRITE FOR TELEVISION AND SELL THIS SCREENPLAY BY THE END OF THE YEAR.

what i learned doing this assignment is this ………. i am finding more places to add conflict. i love this!

• Beginning: WE SEE A RUSSIAN SUBMARINE LEAVING AT NIGHT FROM THE NORTH POLE.
• Inciting Incident: A SCOUT SEARCHING FOR SIGNS OF KRAMPUS IS ATTACKED BY THE DEMON. THE HALF DEAD SCOUT RETURNS TO NORTH POLE WITH DEAD REINDEER AND A BROKEN SLEIGH.
• Turning Point 1: THE GENERAL DEMANDS SANTA OPEN UP NORTH POLE TO MORE OIL DRILLING TO ALLOW THEM TO MILITARIZE AND BE A COUNTRY BUT SANTA REFUSES. SLEIGHS ARE TAKING OFF. INDIGO’S SISTER HAZELA STOWS AWAY ON A SLEIGH TO GET SOME ADVENTURE IN HER LIFE.
• Act 2: INDIGO SEARCHES FOR HIS SISTER ON ALL THE SLEIGHS. HE ACCIDENTALLY FALLS INTO A SLEIGH AS IT TAKES OFF. THEY GO ON DELIVERIES AND INDIGO SEES THE WORLD HE FEARS.
• Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: INDIGO DELIVERS PRESENTS AND MEETS A BOY WHO JUST WOKE UP. HE LEARNS SIMILARITIES BETWEEN THE TWO.
• Act 3: KRAMPUS AND HIS DEMONS ATTACK THE SLEIGHS. THERE IS A CHASE AS SANTA TELLS THE SLEIGHS TO CIRCLE AWAY.
• Turning Point 3: THE GENERAL ARRIVES AND PROTECTS THE SLEIGHS. THE DEMONS GO AWAY.
• Act 4 Climax: THERE IS THE FINAL BATTLE. KRAMPUS AND SANTA ON THE SAME SLEIGH BATTLING. THE GENERAL REFUSES TO HELP HIM. INDIGO JUMPS ON THE SLEIGH TO GET THE CONTROLS. KRAMPUS ENDS UP UNDER THE SLEIGH AND IMPALES SANTA’S FOOT WITH HIS HORN.
• Resolution: KRAMPUS IS ENCASED IN CEMENT. INDIGO GOES TO SANTA’S PLACE AND SEES HIM STEP OUTSIDE AND ALL BANDAGED UP DRINKING A COFFEE. SANTA STARES STRAIGHT AHEAD AND DROPS HIS COFFEE. INDIGO SEES RUSSIAN AND CANADIAN DRILLING EQUIPMENT GOING IN THE SAME DIRECTION FROM OPPOSITE SIDES.