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Lesson 2
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Subject Line: Claudia’s Deeper Layers.
My vision: To become the best screenwriter I can be, and to find success in the industry.
What I learned from this assignment is: doing this exercise for each character automatically results in a multi-layered story being woven into the screenplay. How cool!
As we did above with The Sixth Sense, create each piece of this “Deeper Layer” puzzle.
• Surface Layer: Grace is a nurse in the WACs in WWII.
• Deeper Layer: She is secretly searching for her brother, who went AWOL after DDay.
• Major Reveal: She finds her brother, maybe right before the climax. Her refusal to abandon him (even if she’s not public about it) helps him heal. Maybe he helps her, Ann and Booker in the final battle/climax?
• Influences Surface Story: Makes her particularly anxious about appearances so as not to disappoint her parents. Makes her quicker to give up on Booker – and to reject Ann. Causes her to behave oddly each time they arrive in a new village, as she pokes around looking for anyone who might have seen her brother.
• Hints: The comments from her family at the outset, about not disappointing them. Grace’s compulsively deferential behavior towards her family, the church, commanding officers. Her poking around in the villages. Her saying she has five siblings, then later saying she has six – but one died at DDay.
• Changes Reality: We understand why Grace was so obsessively obedient and deferential to her family, why it was so hard for her to push back against them.
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Subject line: Will Jennings’ Deeper Layer!
My Vision: I will write movies that are extremely funny and entertaining and bring a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment to a world starving for true enjoyment.
What I learned from doing this assignment is how this exercise brings to life unrealized thoughts that would have never been dreamed up without this structure.
Surface Layer: Two British girls have arrived to challenge the cool kids for the social control of the junior high school.
Deeper Layer: The girls are on a secret mission from a mystical land to bring a little kindness to a group of kids getting kicked around by bullies.
Major Reveal: During a pillow fight at the girl’s house, the four of them cartwheel into the transporter room and are sucked into the wormhole and blasted back to Fairytale Land.
Influences Surface Story: Since the girls are so much more mature and intelligent than their classmates, they struggle to act human to avoid blowing their cover. The classmates believe their suaveness is because they are from England.
Hints: Supernatural things were constantly happening whenever the girls started playing with their cell phones or tablets. People’s hair started changing colors and the bad kids would suddenly appear in ridiculous costumes in the blink of an eye.
Changes Reality: When the twins and their two friends see each other’s worlds, they see how a small thing like simple kindness can bring so much happiness to everyone’s life.
Beginning: The girls are informed by their mother the Queen it is time to travel to Earth and begin the mission.
Inciting Incident: The girls are introduced in school and a rude girl embarrasses them in front of the entire class. They realize they are a big threat to bad-ass girl.
Turning Point 1: The girls decide to throw a party for all the uncool kids and the bad girl shows up with her mother’s motorcycle gang.
Act 2: The girls try contacting the authorities to assist.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: The girls find out that Brandi’s mom is the leader of a crime family and they have put a lot of people in danger.
Act 3: They take a trip back to Fairyland to formulate a new plan against such fantastic odds. During a pillow fight at the girl’s house, the four of them cartwheel into the transporter room and are sucked into the wormhole and blasted back to Fairytale Land.
Turning Point 3: They bring muses and fairies back to Earth to gather evidence against the crooks.
Act 4 Climax: The gang summons all their mobsters to the twins’ house to show them who is boss once and for all. The fairies and muses appear and disappear while punching out the bad guys until they split.
Resolution: The gang goes to prison and the girls are now the undisputed leaders of the new cool kids. When the twins and their two friends see each other’s worlds, they see how a small thing like simple kindness can bring so much happiness to everyone’s life.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by Will Jennings.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by Will Jennings.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by Will Jennings.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by Will Jennings.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by Will Jennings.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by
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Tony J. Scott Deeper Layer!
My true vision as a writer is to fall in love with writing and stay motivated to write from the love of writing and not as a chore and then hoping others will love my creations and become well known as a top writer in the screenplay community.
High Concept: In a world where the Vatican is winning the war against the Vampires a young black woman must fulfill prophesy by traveling back and forth through time to Savannah 1863 to kill her slave ancestor, break her family curse and lead the peace agreement.
2. As we did above with The Sixth Sense, create each piece of this “Deeper Layer” puzzle.
Surface Layer: Nadia
doesn’t want to live her life as a vampire.
Deeper Layer: The
Vatican are winning the war against the Vampires but Horace, the vampire
leader, refuses to talk peace.
Major Reveal: Nadia
discovers she is to fulfill an ancient prophecy which is to lead a peace
agreement between The Vatican and the Vampire Nations.
Influences Surface Story:
Nadia discovers that the Civil War soldiers are actually Vampire Hunters.
Hints: Horace knew about
the affair between his brother and his wife. He believes Winston is
Nadia’s true father.
Changes Reality: Nadia
discovers that her father is not the chosen interim leader of the Vampire
Nations and that her Uncle should be the leader.3. Add the rest of the structure to the characters to the script. Try to get to the point as we’ve done in the Iron Man example above.
Beginning: Nadia has a
traumatic memory triggered during her birthday party.
Inciting Incident: Her
father lets it slip that the only way to possibly end the vampire curse
for herself is to kill her ancestor while he is sleeping.
Turning Point 1: She
finds out that a gift she received will allow her to time travel.
Act 2: Nadia travels
back and forth in time to Savannah 1863 hoping to find her ancestor and
kill him in the past while he is living as a plantation slave.
Turning Point 2 /
Midpoint: Vampire hunters arrive at the plantation and plan to kill Nadia’s
ancestor before she can.
Act 3: Nadia researches
all she can to find out more about the era.
Turning Point 3: Nadia
discovers that her father has been lying to her and the rest of the
Vampires about who should be the interim leader.
Act 4 Climax: Nadia has
to bite the Vampire hunter. She returns to the future, removes her father
from office and puts her uncle as head. Her uncle issues in the peace
agreement as it should have been.
Resolution: Nadia
realizes that she has disrupted time in a major way and has to return to
the past one more time.4. Repeat the process with your Antagonist.
2. Start with the Protagonist and your source material. Create a beginning, middle, and end of the character’s story.
3. Add the rest of the structure to the characters to the script. Try to get to the point as we’ve done in the Iron Man example above.
Beginning: Horace throws
a grand vampire coming out ball which doubles as war effort fund raiser.
Inciting Incident:
Horace hears rumors of the other families wanting to wake up Horace’s
father Josiah in hopes to end the losing war.
Turning Point 1: Horace
lets it slip out that maybe Nadia could prevent becoming a vampire if her
grandfather was dead, as a joke or impossibility.
Act 2: Horace becomes
more desperate in trying to remain head of the family.
Turning Point 2 /
Midpoint: Horace gets a prisoner to attempt to kill his father.
Act 3: Horace has a zoom
meet with a corrupt Vatican official about future relationships.
Turning Point 3: He has
to prevent Nadia from exposing the truth.
Act 4 Climax: Horace is
caught trying to kill his father and exposed as not the true interim
family head.
Resolution: He is sentenced;
his processing plant destroyed, human survivors and victims are returned
to loved ones. -
Mahee’s Deeper Layer
My Vision – I want to be a great writer who is well-respected and recognized in the industry, with successful books published and blockbuster movies produced. I want to create a successful movie franchise that audiences all over the world will love, rave about, look forward to, and continue to enjoy many years from now.
What I learned from doing this assignment is building in an engaging and intriguing deeper layer.
Surface Layer:
Trevon never liked his father’s old fashioned ideas and never believed in his theories. But when his father is murdered in his own home by an extraterrestrial assassin, he must embark on an interdimensional mission to find him.
Deeper Layer:
The deeper layer is that Trevon’s interdimensional journey was not to find the assassin but instead to find himself.
Major Reveal:
Once arriving in the parallel world Trevon realizes that a mirror image of his life is playing itself out here and he must choose his path wisely.
Influences Surface Story:
Trevon realizes that the interdimensional journey he has embarked on was already pre-planned and chosen just for him. He has to entice his extraterrestrial alter-ego to fight on the good side in order to win. This ultimately helps him realize the path he needs to choose for himself.
Hints:
A cryptic message is scribbled on a wall inside the bedroom where Trevon’s father is murdered. Trevon’s curiosity to uncover the hidden secret behind the message and its true meaning helps him realize his mission and his destiny.
Changes Reality:
Discovering that Trevon’s interdimensional journey has been pre-planned makes us re-think all the actions he has taken. It helps us understand that the assassin he has been pursuing all along has always been within him.
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Trevon Campbell (Protagonist) Character Journey Structure
Beginning:
Trevon is under complete control of Reverend DuVernay. He joins DuVernay’s violent mob and attacks an ongoing conference on black history where his father is delivering a speech.
Inciting Incident:
His father is murdered in his own home. Trevon suspects the hand of DuVernay.
Turning Point 1:
The assassin who killed his father is not of this planet. But he has secret links to DuVernay. And DuVernay’s men are gunning for Trevon.
Act 2:
Trevon goes into hiding. Pores over his father’s research papers looking for possible answers. Is shocked to find connections to an alternate world on Planet X in the Sirius star system.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint:
Trevon realizes he must embark on an interdimensional mission to Planet X to find his father’s assassin.
Act 3:
In a parallel world on Planet X, Trevon meets his father’s extraterrestrial alter ego FALLAG and his own alter ego TALIYA.
Turning Point 3:
Planet X can only be saved by TALIYA, who is fighting on the dark side with the ruthless and evil warlord 1ONTAE’s forces. And only Trevon has influence over TALIYA.
Act 4 Climax:
Trevon lures TALIYA away from 1ONTAE, then helps him defeat 1ONTAE and put the parallel world under the control of his father FALLAG.
Resolution:
Trevon returns home a changed man. Runs against DuVernay in the congressional elections and defeats him.
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Reverend DuVernay (Antagonist) Character Journey Structure
Beginning:
DuVernay gained popularity and power by standing up for the black people in public while secretly using and abusing his followers and supporters in private.
Inciting Incident:
His path to the top of the political ladder gets jeopardized when Professor Cedric Campbell campaigns against his corrupt practices, lies, and dangerous policies.
Turning Point 1:
Professor Cedric Campbell is murdered at his home.
Act 2:
With his path to the congressional seat cleared, he amasses massive gains in power and support as he prepares for the elections.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint:
His most loyal follower and supporter, Trevon, has become a thorn in his path and is determined to bring him down.
Act 3:
He unleashes his mobsters to chase down Trevon and kill him. But Trevon escapes and goes into hiding.
Turning Point 3:
Trevon resurfaces many days later, rejuvenated in his efforts to bring him down.
Act 4 Climax:
Trevon runs against him in the elections. Exposes his dark side to the media and public.
Resolution:
DuVernay loses his power and his support. Gets defeated by Trevon in the elections.
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<font size=”3″>My Vision: I want a space that is dedicated to writing, so I can have an entire wall for notecard storyboarding. I want my projects to advance in competitions and then be requested by the studios. I want to see those projects in festivals, in theaters, on streaming platforms. I want writing and producing to be my full time job.
</font><font size=”3″>What I learned doing this assignment is with one or two hidden truths about my characters it provides a drive we don’t see, causes actions to be made that might or might not be understood by the character, but in any case makes the story stronger.</font>
Surface Layer: Eddie is forced into the drug trade by his actions and inactions.<div>
Deeper Layer: Eddie’s been repressing his fears in life but wants justice.
Major Reveal: Father died during a home invasion. During Ducassi’s showdown Eddie aims to kill Ducassi.
Influences Surface Story Eddie’s conscious bothers him at first, but he realizes he can have an efffect on the drug scene.
Hints: He uses his reputation to influence drug buys. Recruits two enforcers to his side. Notices and follows someone who’s hanging on the fringes of the drug scene discovering a government drug trade route.
Changes Reality: Actively goes after the govt drug route, could be the drugs that killed his friend. Eddie wants justice for his dead friend.
Beginning: Eddie turns down a promotion when he’s clearly capable of the job.</div>
Inciting Incident: Spills an 8 ball of cocaine at a party.
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Turning Point 1: fails to raise the money to pay off the debt. In the following standoff Eddie kills the drug dealer to save a girl and himself.
Act 2: Town views Eddie as a hero when an undercover agent introduces himself as the dealers handler, forces Eddie to become his new CI and takes the drug dealers place to keep an operation going.
<font color=”#4d5c6d” face=”SF UI Text, sans-serif”>Eddie talks about the Ducassi incident with friend and reveals the home invasion as a child.</font>
<font color=”#4d5c6d” face=”SF UI Text, sans-serif”>Eddie uses his anger to get the job done as a CI, he puts people in their place with his rep as a killer.</font>
<font color=”#4d5c6d” face=”SF UI Text, sans-serif”>Two enforcers beat down Eddie to enforce the pecking order. </font>
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Eddie realizes this path leads to either prison or death. He must break free from the agents grip.
<font color=”#4d5c6d” face=”SF UI Text, sans-serif”>Recognizes a stranger who has been watching on the fringes and follows him to his car, gets his plate, then uses the detective to get info on the man. He has purchased a foreclosed farm. discovers a make shift landing strip where bundles of drugs are unloaded </font>
Act 3: Uncovers govt plot running drugs through the town.
<font color=”#4d5c6d” face=”SF UI Text, sans-serif”>Goes to a federal building for assistance behind the Agents back.</font>
Turning Point 3: Fed govt building Eddie is informed the govt knows about his activities Act 4 Climax: Face off with the cartels, govt and locals over the drug route</div>
Resolution: with his drug life over he takes over assisting the agents victim’s assistance.
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Anna’s Deeper Layer
My personal vision: to get my writing mojo back.
What I learned from this assignment: I’ve been doing a shit-ton of research, trying to beef up this story and add realism by visiting the real life setting (WHOI, tribal lands, USCG stations, etc.) and this is helping me plug in that research into places in the story. The story is changing, the more I research it. There’s going to be a ton more stuff in the novel version (which I’ll publish long before this thing ever gets marketed) than in the final film, so this is helping me keep all those facts somewhat in “movie structure” so I can decide what will go in the film version, versus the book.
Title: La Sirène (The Mermaid)
Concept: A Coast Guard maverick suspects that his wheel-chair-bound oceanography professor, who holds the fate of his career in her hands, is involved in a series of terrorist attacks against poachers by killer dolphins.
Genre: Mystery / Thriller
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Create each piece of this “Deeper Layer” puzzle.
Surface Layer: A Coast Guard maverick who is investigating a series of eco-terrorist attacks involving “killer dolphins” has also been ordered to attend a class by a worldwide expert on leviathan communication and report back everything he sees.
Deeper Layer: His wheelchair-bound instructor has a motive, and the expertise (both dolphin communication and explosives), to possibly be the ringleader of an eco-terrorist cell.
Major Reveal: Lorelei is also investigating the attacks, but on behalf of her tribe … she’s a mermaid.
Influences Surface Story: Lorelei really is inspiring a group of anarchist kids to “monkeywrench” a windfarm being built right in the middle of an endangered right whale nursery until they migrate south for the winter, but they are not the same crew responsible for blowing up ships. Ever since the explosion which left her maimed, Lorelei no longer trusts the U.S. government.
Hints: The Wampanoag fishermen scoff at Jacob’s attempts to bust them for “safety” reasons … the local tribes have been allied with the “halfway people” and their leviathan allies for thousands of years. Also, the incidents involving the anarchist kids are all highly televised, annoying, and cause delay, but nobody is hurt, unlike the “killer dolphin” attacks. And aquatic mammals are suddenly hanging around the waters and salt pond at WHOI, acting strange, but not aggressive.
Changes Reality: Somebody – a human? – has usurped the merfolk’s traditional role of guardians of the ocean and declared war on humanity.
Act 1:
Beginning: Gomes scoffs at Jacobs claim to be there “for his safety.”
Inciting Incident: “Killer dolphins” (hah hah hah!) blow up a ship that gets too close to a pod of right whales. Jacob notices the fishermen were poaching undersized striped bass. Back at shore, he hears whales and dolphins sing and something large swims under the drawbridge. Later that night, a mysterious woman in a wheelchair arrives at the local “pub” and he witnesses Gomes and the other Wampanoag leave “offerings” of tobacco.
Turning Point 1: Jacob is ordered to investigate the incident and train his crew to add environmental enforcement to their other duties. But since he’s only enlisted, he has to take training. Luckily, a visiting expert at WHOI has agreed to let him sit in on her classes. He’s to report everything back to command. When he attends class, it’s the same woman from the bar, and also Gomes’ nephew. The woman and fellow students are hostile to Jacob.
Act 2:
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: The terrorist attacks a civilian ferry, and then blows a hole in one of the cutters that responds to help. Gomes and the other fishermen step in to rescue the passengers. Finally the brass believes him about the “killer dolphins.” But they thwart his attempts to dig up more information about Lorelei, which is “classified.”
Act 3:
Turning Point 3: After another ship is attacked, rather than rescue the floundering ship, Jacob delegates the task to civilian ships and uses sonar to pursue the dolphins back to their commander. They pursue the ship, but the terrorist out-maneuvers them and one of Jacob’s crew is badly injured. Whoever this guy is, its not Lorelei or her eco-zealous students.
Act 4 Climax:
Resolution: Lorelei tells Jacob where she believes the terrorist will hit next. Climax #1: Jacob and his crew lay in wait, and thwart the terrorist, but then they receive a distress call from Gomes, whose ship has capsized and is sinking in a hurricane, and have to abandon the recovery effort. They are met by the Hammerhead, which is carrying Lorelei. Only Jacob, a surfman, can navigate the ship out into a Category-4 hurricane. When they get there, Gomes ship has already sunk, but Lorelei reveals she is really a mermaid. She straps on the fin, swims into the writhing seas, and calls the whales, who raise Gome’s ship from the bottom of the ocean and help the fishermen escape.
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As we did above with The Sixth Sense, create each piece of this “Deeper Layer” puzzle.
• Surface Layer: Kavish wants Lacy to move in with him, then marry him, and be happy as a traditional wife as he is a traditional husband.
• Deeper Layer: He doesn’t want to be a traditional husband, he wants to be a stay at home dad. His own dad gave him a lot of psychological *stuff* around “having a real job” type stuff as well as a fear of rejection.
• Major Reveal: The ghost haunting them has a tragic past that they could help with. Also, Kavish’s real want, but that’s at the end when he and Lacy are coming back together.
• Influences Surface Story: Ghost’s ruts and sadness make sense now. Also, Kavish’s neuroses and fear explain why he was in ruts not dissimilar from Ghost’s.
• Hints: The way the landlord talks about the ghost. Also, Kavish’s inability to listen to Lacy when she’s honest; he doesn’t recognize it well, having not been honest himself.
• Changes Reality: We see that the ghost has a problem that can be solved (and our protagonists solve it). Also, we have empathy for Kavish and root for him to win Lacy back.
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<div>Maureen’s Deeper Layers for ‘The Supremacy Code'</div>
<font color=”#0000ff”><font face=”Georgia, serif”><font size=”4″>MY
VISION: By nurturing fun and curiosity in the writing process, I will
do my very best to create a successful writing career full of love,
full of awe, full of productivity, and full of joy!</font></font></font><font color=”#000000″><font face=”Helvetica, Arial”><font size=”3″>What
I learned from this lesson: You can always go deeper. </font></font></font><font color=”#000000″><font face=”Helvetica, Arial”><font size=”3″>
</font></font></font>Surface Layer: A Conspiracy called Reboot is trying to consolidate world power. Daniel goes to the only people he trusts to help him stop them.
Deeper Layer: Gideon and Johanna are part of Reboot.
Major Reveal: Gideon and Johanna ask Daniel to be part of Reboot.
2d Deep Layer: Gideon has been working against Reboot for some time. He thinks that Johanna doesn’t know.
Major Reveal: Gideon reveals himself to Johanna and tries to convince her to abandon the project and help him expose them.
Influences Surface Story: Letting Daniel into their system has actually given him the means to destroy Reboot from within.
3rd Deep Layer: Daniel and Gideon had plotted to make the above happen. Daniel’s New Hack-ware inherently contains the means to bring Reboot down, but only Gideon and Daniel understand that.
4th Possible Deeper Layer: At the last minute, when Johanna remains loyal to Reboot, Gideon is unwilling to let Johanna go down with Reboot. He tries to stop Daniel. This is Gideon’s big struggle – to turn Johanna away from Reboot, or to see it through with her to the bitter end.
Hints: Gideon keeps wanting Johanna to change. Gideon drops a hint talking about love and philosophy/reason. “Sometimes love triumphs- even when it shouldn’t.”
Changes Reality: Will Gideon’s conflict change the outcome of their plan- or had Daniel already accounted for it, and built in a bypass. or a secondary channel, in case Gideon weakened…
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