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Lesson 2 Assignments
Reply to post your assignment.
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15 Replies
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Jenifer loves Attack / Counterattack Dialogue
I will write every day, producing not only a high volume of screenplays, but high quality ones that will ultimately be made into television shows and movies. I will be invited to seminars and safaris as a speaker.
SPLICED: A psychiatrist nurse, accused of the brutal murder of the patient who visited her uninvited at her home the night he was killed, must fight to maintain her family, her job, her freedom and her sanity.
What I learned doing this assignment – I am loving the movie clip examples, It really helps to punctuate what you mean when you describe something. I don’t know that I ever “got” this before. Also, on this scene I was just trying the banter and it turned into something bigger – the sorry I woke you, I wasn’t sleep, is everyone asleep, are you sure, because you’ve made that mistake before – thing…it was going to be about him making a mistake on a previous day, but I realized, he just made that mistake – or at the very least, she wants him to believe he did, it was so cool! This conversations meant nothing before – it was just a segue from one scene to the next, now it’s laden with meaning!
Give the characters opposing viewpoints.
Different realities
VOICE 1
(whisper)
Wake the fuck up –
BACK TO THE NURSES’ STATION
Dacey jerks upright and spins around.
Peter, (25) with a knack for patient care but not much for finesse with his co-workers, enters the station behind Dacey throws his hands up in mock surrender.
PETER
Sorry to wake you.
DACEY
I wasn’t asleep.
PETER
Oh, it looked like you were.
DACEY
I was just resting my eyes.
PETER
Okay, well anyway, checks are set.
DACEY
Good. Everyone sleeping?
PETER
Like babies.
DACEY
You’re sure? I feel like you’ve mistaken asleep and eyes closed before. In fact, just recently.
While attempting to determine if she’s kidding or not, Peter stares at Dacey for a moment-decides to ignore it.
PETER
What are you looking at there?
DACEY
Just my work, cause you know, cause I’m working.
PETER
Really, is that the file on the patient who’s coming tomorrow?
DACEY
Yes. I’m trying to get a handle on her background so I can brief all of you. She comes from some pretty intense trauma. When she was a child she lived with her mother in a ruthless cult who used her as – who did all sorts of terrible – who-
Dacey shudders.
PETER
Are you okay?
Cut off by a scream, they both run down the hall.
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Rebecca’s Attack/ Counterattack Dialogue
VISION: My success from this program will lead me to be the go-to writer for producers looking for incredible scripts for successful movies enjoyed by a vast viewing audience.
What I learned is that despite the big improvement with my previous version, it is not near as good as the examples used in this lesson. I still need to do more brainstorming work on my attack/counterattack dialogue.
FLASHBACK
Ragman, almost eighteen, fishes in a creek downhill from a gushing spring. He, concentrates on hooking an elusive fish. Ludie, thirteen, still at that awkward stage between girl and woman, carries two pails…slips up the trail behind him.
LUDIE
(Polish accented English) What bait you use?
Startled, he yanks the pole, looses the catch. He turns to see who interrupted his solitude.
RAGMAN
You scared off my fish.
He notices the small girl, gangly arms, curly hair in a braid, nose too large for her face, and striking green eyes.
RAGMAN
Don’t you know not to talk when a man’s fishing?
LUDIE
You catch fish?
She peers into his catch bucket.
LUDIE
Not many.
She smiles.
RAGMAN
I threw the littler ones away. Didn’t want to crowd the pail.
She laughs, picks up a stick, and runs it under some rotten leaves below a low bush. She picks up a grub worm…holds it up in her palm…offers it to him.
LUDIE
Dese fish like dis bait.
Ragman accepts the offering.
RAGMAN
What makes you know so much? If you were a fish, I’d throw you back for being so little.
Ludie chuckles and shrugs her shoulders.
LUDIE
Too bad, den you lose best catch of day.
After a quick curtsey, she moves towards her pails.
RAGMAN
Now wait a dog-gone minute. If you’re so smart, come back here and show me.
Ludie sits beside him; he hands her his pole and the grub. She baits the hook.
RAGMAN
What’s your name?
LUDIE
Ludie Waloski.
RAGMAN
I know your father, Stan at the mine.
The line barely dips in the water when Ludie pulls out a fish. She unhooks it, drops into bucket beside the ones he caught.
LUDIE
Your poor fish look small now, yes?
She hands back the pole.
LUDIE
Now that I learn you how to catch fish, I go home.
She picks up her full buckets, walks straight considering the heavy load she carries, and heads down the path.
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Subject Line: Jeffrey Alan Chase loves Attack / Counterattack Dialogue
My vision: I am an “A” list writer who is known for high concept ideas, great execution, a string of successful movies and is always ready to share his knowledge and do what he can to help another writer on the way up.
What I learned from doing this assignment is: I elevated several scenes. Again, I thought “Shards has already received a RECOMMEND from a professional service why should I think about changing it?” But I realize there is ALWAYS room for improvement. One of the elevated scenes is below…
Title: Shards
Genre: Psychological Suspense Thriller
High Concept Logline: A young, pottery restoration expert with no memory of her childhood pieces together a dark past to discover her hypnotherapist’s ties to her father’s murder and a Conquistador treasure.
EXT. ARIZONA DESERT – SHAMAN’S MESA – DAY
The Shaman sits cross-legged at the edge, chants with eyes closed. Frank climbs up, out of breath.
FRANK
…Hey, pop.
The Shaman ceases his chant, stares into the distance.
SHAMAN
You have not been up here in years.
Frank stretches tired legs.
FRANK
Haven’t needed to. Until now.
Frank stiffly sits cross-legged next to his father.
SHAMAN
Not as young as you used to be.
FRANK
Speak for yourself, old man.
Frank admires the view for a moment —
FRANK (CONT’D)
Your grandson came to see me.
SHAMAN
You fired him.
FRANK
For his own good. I want him to be the
best cop the tribe’s ever seen.
The Shaman looks surprised.
FRANK (CONT’D)
Yeah, even better than me.
SHAMAN
Hard to do.
FRANK
Can’t have him fretting if he’s worthy to be a shaman when he’s out on patrol. It’s dangerous.
A dust devil spins up in the distance.
SHAMAN
You should have brought that grave robber to justice.
FRANK
He deserved to die. I thought it would please our ancestors.
Both men watch the swirling column of dust.
FRANK (CONT’D)
But I had no right to play god.
SHAMAN
You push your son. I push him. He must make his own decision.
FRANK
I just hope he makes the right one.
SHAMAN
You put him on the path to decide.
Frank looks puzzled. The Shaman stares into the distance.
SHAMAN (CONT’D)
Spirits work in mysterious ways.
FRANK
I get the feeling you know something you’re not telling me.
SHAMAN
Shape shifter will come.
The old man raises his chin —
SHAMAN (CONT’D)
And…Atsah-be-yaz.
FRANK
Sarah Cole? How do you know?
Shaman nods at the dust devil that meanders across the desert.
SHAMAN
Chindi must find peace.
The old man turns empathetic eyes on Frank —
SHAMAN (CONT’D)
You must find peace.
Unspoken words flow between two men. Frank stiffly stands.
FRANK
Chenah niliinii, dine, klizzie.
SUBTITLE: Stay well, you old Navajo goat.
A faint smile comes to the Shaman’s weathered lips.
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Farrin Rosenthal’s love Attack / Counterattack Dialogue!
Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.
What I learned doing this assignment is how common this dialogue technique is and how often I already use it.
In fact, the day before this assignment posted, I added this type of banter to a scene.
It not only added about 1/2 a page of dialogue, but the banter helped reveal more of each character’s personality. It added depth to the scene and characters, not to mention more interest.
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Eclipse loves Attack / Counterattack Dialogue
VISION:
I want to be a great award-winning writer, known for my genre, who creates the most beautiful films that inspire others to feel deeply, pause, and ponder ways to make the world a better place as I make happy money to continue my career.
The Nun and The Witch genre: Mystical Sci-fi
Concept: A dedicated nun destined to become a saint in this lifetime, bonds with her beloved soulmate – the village witch to help battle the evils of hatred consuming the heart of humanity, only to discover that time is running out and hell has permeated their village.I
NT. PARISH KITCHEN – DAY
Father Sinclair and Sister Anne sit across from each other. They sip their soup.
Suddenly he starts coughing out of control. He grabs his napkin, motions for more water.
Sister Anne jumps up and pours him more. He guzzles it. She stands by his side, hands folded, waiting.
He pauses and relaxes back into his chair. He spots blood on his napkin, horrified he hides it.
She sees it too but looks away.
FATHER SINCLAIR
Lets have our cookies and tea over a good game of chess!
(teases)
I need to beat you – I need a win somewhere in my life.
He hobbles over to the small chess table already set up. Flops down in an easy chair.
She starts to clear the table.
He waves his hand.
FATHER SINCLAIR (CONT’D)
Do them later. Come sit down.
Sister Anne walks over.
SISTER ANNE
Father Sinclair, you need not be so harsh on yourself. Your people love you. You’re already a winner remember God loves you.
He ignores her statement. Contemplates what move he will make. Moves pawn forward.
FATHER SINCLAIR
We need to have a talk.
She looks up a bit worried. Moves her pawn forward.
SISTER ANNE
We do?
FATHER SINCLAIR
When you get older sometimes the truth matters.
Sister Anne stares, swallows and waits.
SISTER ANNE
The truth?
FATHER SINCLAIR
Yes, God has told me I must confide in you. He has plans for you.
Moves his knight. She picks up her knight – fondles it as she looks up at him.
SISTER ANNE
Me?…What kind of plans? I am just a nun following the ways of Jesus.
He nods dismissively. Slides his castle forward.
FATHER SINCLAIR
The church – our small little chapel with its grand windows and loyal congregation… I want you to take a bit more of a leadership role.
Sister Anne shuffles in her seat uncomfortably. Stares at down the board.
SISTER ANNE
I love the windows and I’m happy to keep the parish in order …but
(looks up)
Leadership role? I am not for that.
Father Sinclair nods yes and ignores her apprehension.
FATHER SINCLAIR
You know I arrived here in this town, when I was about your age. In those days things were different – the people talked a lot about love and peace and flowers.
(chuckles)
I suppose we could have called them Hippie Christians.
Sister Anne smiles and begins to sing softly.
SISTER ANNE
“All you need is love”
She moves her knight again forward.
FATHER SINCLAIR
Exactly! But God forgot to tell me as the years went by that we needed money too. Money to survive to keep this little chapel open… The main church always wanted their dues paid – no matter what. Knight to knight!
He moves his queen sideways.
SISTER ANNE
They do good work in the world and need funds.
FATHER SINCLAIR
Yes they do. But…everything is political.
Sister Anne looks up at him, tilts her head questioning him. Smirks.
SISTER ANNE
But? You mean my bishop is in the right place?
She uses her bishop and takes his knight. Giggles.
FATHER SINCLAIR
I was going to leave get transferred out of Barrow Ways.
(mutters))
They didn’t see our importance.
SISTER ANNE
Oh no!… Really?
FATHER SINCLAIR
But! God said I must stay and teach people the rules. The rules of God and the church. The rules I was raised by to be a good Christian. The world was becoming wild and God was getting angry. I needed to save our people. But…
She laughs to her self.
SISTER ANNE
There’s always a but.
He coughs and looks at her. Pauses. Moves his bishop to face her queen.
FATHER SINCLAIR
But, the church stopped giving us money for rent. The two men came one day and closed us down officially. And…
SISTER ANNE
And?
FATHER SINCLAIR
My brother bought the place – he owned the building til he died.
Sister Anne’s jaw drops. Quickly moves her queen aside.
SISTER ANNE
Did you ever tell anyone?
FATHER SINCLAIR
I’m telling you.
SISTER ANNE
Why me of all people?
FATHER SINCLAIR
Why not?
He sips his tea looks directly at her. She looks back aghast.
FATHER SINCLAIR (CONT’D)
I never told anyone. I used the money we had saved for a camp, to give my brother. I had been stashing away for a long, long time. It felt like stealing…
Sister Anne looks at him gently nods yes.
SISTER ANNE
It was stealing but for–
He breaks down in tears.
FATHER SINCLAIR
–God told me to do so and to make sure his words and rules never got lost in the shuffle.
Sister Anne stares speechless.
FATHER SINCLAIR (CONT’D)
God’s law will not be changed, bought or lost!
He looks up at her clutching the chess piece.
FATHER SINCLAIR (CONT’D)
You must continue with God’s law.
SILENCE.
Sister Anne looks up at him and fondles her queen.
SISTER ANNE
I have a secret too.
He tilts his head curiously.
FATHER SINCLAIR
You do?
Sister Anne nervously takes deep breath and spurts out.
SISTER ANNE
I ran away from the nunnery…But, I am a good nun in my heart! Just not a real nun in the eyes of the church.
She moves her queen forward. He smiles as he moves his queen to face her king.
FATHER SINCLAIR
Check!….I knew that.
She looks up at him surprised.
SISTER ANNE
You did?
FATHER SINCLAIR
Promise me you will follow in my footsteps and take over.
She startles. Looks worried. Shakes her head no in fear.
FATHER SINCLAIR (CONT’D)
Don’t worry I will prepare them for that time when it comes.
SISTER ANNE
I can’t! I love Jesus but, but I don’t know if I can…lead.
FATHER SINCLAIR
You must.
SISTER ANNE
I was angry and I ran away from the rules. Don’t you understand? I am shamed by the church.
FATHER SINCLAIR
God wants you to do this…and he rules!
They stare at each other.
FATHER SINCLAIR (CONT’D)
Promise me.
She bows her head, struggles with her answer and finally nods yes.
He sighs with relief. His face looks haggard and worried. He shows her where to move her king.
FATHER SINCLAIR (CONT’D)
You know,… I’m scared too.
Sister Anne looks up surprised. They stare at each other. He half chuckles as if to dismiss his first statement. Then pauses with a bit of a furrowed brow.
FATHER SINCLAIR (CONT’D)
God has not shown me how to die.
Sister Anne’s eyes brim,’looks across the room. Jesus is standing there. He nods to her.
SISTER ANNE
Jesus was afraid too, remember? He wept alone while they slept in the garden of Gethsemane.
Father Sinclair looks up pauses and then smiles.
FATHER SINCLAIR
See! You will do well as a leader.
SISTER ANNE
I’ll be there for you. I won’t be like them …I wont sleep when you call for me.
FATHER SINCLAIR
If God wills it.
He reaches over the table for her hand, knocking over the pieces on the playing board.
SOUND OF PIECES DROPPING ON FLOOR.
Sister Anne holds his hand in both of hers reassuringly.
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WIM MODULE 8: LESSON 2 BANTER 11723
ROBERT SMITH LOVES ATTACK / COUNTERATTACK DIALOGUE
MY VISION FOR SUCCESS AFTER THE PROGRAM:
I am a great writer who delivers entertaining, informative, and uplifting scripts that sell and get produced.
WHAT I LEARNED DOING THIS ASSIGNMENT IS …?
Important to remember attack / counter attack dialogue is rich and entertaining.
REVIEW OF MY PROJECT
CONCEPT: The soul of a slain Cosa Nostra mobster (Lou Tasca) cannot get into the World to
Come because of his life of crime. His only hope to redeem himself is to do an act of nearly impossible supreme good, namely, persuade the wiseguy who killed him (Carlo Vizzini) to quit the mob, trash his oath of silence about mob activity, surrender to the FBI. and enter the Witness Protection Program.
TITLE: “ANGELS IN GANGLAND”
GENRE: GANGSTER-COMEDY
a. A scene from “Angels in Gangland” that uses the attack / counter attack banter. structure of Setup / Major Twist,
Ala Legally Blonde dinner scene.
Lou Tasca’s spirit-guide, Rabbi Solomon Levitsky explains why Lou’s life of crime disqualifies him from hopping onto a train to the World to Come.
A Judgement Scene. Lou Tasca and the Judge Rabbi Solomon Levitsky.
SOLOMON
You have a problem: You can’t move on to the world to come because of the condition of your soul. It’s all here in your C-I-A file.
(Reading the file.)
You have a record of –
LOU
Whoa! My C-I-A file?! Do you mean to tell me, that you guys here in the Hereafter get information about my soul from the Central Intelligence Agency?
SOLOMON laughs.
LOU (CONT’D)
What’s so funny?
SOLOMON
C-I-A does not stand for Central Intelligence Agency. It stands for “Compendium of Infinite Actions” “The Book of Life”! A committee of big-shot angels changed it to get the C-I-A acronym They said it would modernize and make the Book of Life relevant for a new crop of souls. I told them it would confuse people and now you are proving my point.
LOU
Well, in plain American, what is this Book?
SOLOMON
The Book of Life or the Compendium of Infinite Actions: Those are the imprints of your deeds upon the world for good or for ill. Good deeds are your “Metrocard” to your Home-Train and that’s where you have a problem.
LOU
I did good for lots of people!
SOLOMON
(Reading over the file.)
Well, let’s see what we have here. According to your C-I-A file: You did donate turkeys to a homeless shelter for Thanksgiving. You helped a neighbor with the rent.
LOU
Shouldn’t that get me a Metrocard?
SOLOMON
But you stole the turkeys from a truck that you hijacked and you made the Landlord “an offer he couldn’t refuse.”
LOU
I was also a volunteer at St. Anthony’s Church.
SOLOMON
You were also a loan shark. The priest told you to put up a message on the church sign: “Pray without ceasing.” But you made it “Pay without ceasing.” How do you explain that?
LOU
Freudian slip. On the up-side, the Poor Box hit the jackpot!
SOLOMON
Listen! That is how your C-I-A file reads all the way through.
LOU
Do you have to rub it in?
SOLOMON
Yes! That is the bad news. Now, the good news. It is written: “No human being is entirely good or entirely bad.” In other words, there is always hope.
END OF SCENE
LESSON COMPLETED
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Andrew Kelm loves Attack / Counterattack Dialogue
Vision: I am going to do whatever it takes to be a great writer of TV and movies who is sought after by people I respect within the industry and has multiple successful TV series produced.
What I learned doing this assignment is… This is a great exercise. I think, actually, I can gravitate to banter too much – if I just start writing without an outline, that’s what tends to come out. I can forget that a scene has to have a purpose. But now going back over this script that grew out of a carefully plotted outline, it’s a great way to bury some of the stuff that’s too on the nose and bring out more character.
My introduction scene started out feeling too expository. I keep rewriting it from the angle of these different exercises, and I think considering it as banter has pushed it forward a lot. I went through the whole script considering where the banter could be more developed and made little changes throughout.
FATEMONGERS; a psychic with a blind spot for abusive men uses subtle manipulations to murder a sexual predator who seduces her to get to her sons.
Introductory dialogue:
DAPHNE
You’ve got to get clear about want you want. That’s the hardest part. Once you’re clear, the universe will provide it.TERRY
Is now the part where you ask me to send money?DAPHNE
You think I’d be that obvious? If I wanted your money, you’d be handing it over without me even suggesting it. In fact, I’d protest loudly and you’d insist.TERRY
It’s a good thing I don’t have any.DAPHNE
There’s that too. -
Leona Heraty loves Attack / Counterattack Dialogue
My Vision: To be the best family comedy screenwriter in the industry where my screenplays are produced into fabulous movies, making audiences laugh a lot and making me independently wealthy!
What I learned from doing this assignment is…writing banter is fun and easy and I really think it improves my scene a lot!
Title: Tara vs. the Termo-Lytes
Genre: Comedy (Sci-fi)
Concept #2: A lost teenage tour guide who’s petrified of bugs must lead her tour group in a battle against mutant killer termites at an abandoned country club.5. Give us one scene where you did Attack/Counterattack dialogue well.
OLD VERSION
10. EXT./ GARDEN CLUB PARKING LOT – SAN DIEGO – DAY
Tara arrives at the garden club in her station wagon. The garden club is a small Tiki hut thatched with palm fronds.
Tara’s Mom and Dad come out of the thatched hut and rush up to Tara.
JOAN
Thank you so much, sweetie! We owe you one!
I know how much Disneyland meant to you.
But you see–KENT
We’re in a big jam! Our driver,
Tad, well, see for yourself.Kent gestures towards the VW van. Tara walks over and peaks inside. Tad’s in the back seat, snoozing away. He smells of alcohol.
TARA
He looks hungover. Who is he?MEG, 70, an old hippie chick, comes outside of the hut with her grandson, Davy. She peaks in the van too and shrugs and smiles.
MEG
That’s my new boyfriend, Tad.
Some help he is!KENT
Well, we don’t have time to
waste. We need to get a move
on…
(pause)
…Tara, your Mom and I are
going to each be driving a
group. You can take your
golf cart if you want.MEG
Thanks for helping us out,
Tara. I would drive the van,
but I’ve got cataracts…
(pause)
…I’m having surgery soon, but I
just don’t see that well.DAVY
(to Tara)
See, I told you I was going on
the garden tour.TARA
Why me? Ugh.Kent hands the tour map to Tara.
KENT
Here. There are ten houses on
each route. But we’re spacing
them out by having each group
visit the houses in different
orders.DAVY
Grandma Meg, why don’t didn’t
you guys just hire a bus and
everyone go together?MEG
Well, it’s a long story.JOAN
Well, some of the roads to
these old houses turns into
really narrow lanes. They’re
too narrow for a bus…
(pause)
…And, we wanted to space it
out so all fifty members don’t
descend on one house at a time.DAVY
I guess that makes sense. Tara,
can I drive the golf cart?JOAN/KENT/MEG/TARA
NO!Davy frowns and pouts.
DAVY
Not even in the drive way here?JOAN/KENT/MEG/TARA
NO!MEG
Sorry, Davy. You gotta get
a license first.NEW VERSION
10. EXT./ GARDEN CLUB PARKING LOT – SAN DIEGO – DAY
Tara arrives at the garden club in her station wagon. The garden club is a small Tiki hut thatched with palm fronds.
Tara’s Mom and Dad come out of the thatched hut and rush up to Tara.
JOAN
Thank you so much, sweetie! We owe you one!Tara looks at Tad, who is passed out drunk on the front seat of his van. She rolls her eyes and SNICKERS.
TARA
I’ll say you do, Mom. You know how I go
into withdrawals. It’s not healthy.KENT
True. But not going on the Haunted
Mansion at Disneyland isn’t exactly
like the D-T’s.Kent gestures towards the Tad. They walk closer to the van and Tara peers inside at the passed out drunk.
TARA
If I don’t get my Haunted
Mansion fix, I just start wearing my
Minnie Mouse ears twenty-four-seven.
I’ll even sleep with them. Can’t be
helped.Tara pulls her Minnie Mouse ears out of her backpack and puts them on.
MEG, 70, an old hippie chick, and Davy’s grandmother, comes outside of the hut with her grandson, Davy. She peaks in the van too and shrugs and smiles.
MEG
That’s my new boyfriend, Tad.
I was hoping he would be more…
(pause)
…productive than the last one
Jerry.TARA
Oh, I remember Jerry. The guy
who never left his house. He had
some kind of weird business.MEG
Well, it wasn’t that weird.TARA
He made little houses out of
popsicle sticks. How can anybody
make a living doing that? I really
think you need to upgrade your choice
in boyfriends, Meg.JOAN
Tara, how rude! Apologize at once!
You’re eighteen. You know very little
about relationships and the world in
general.Tara hugs Meg.
TARA
I’m sorry, Meg. That was rude.
I just think you deserve better
than a lush and a popsicle dude.KENT
She’s right, Meg. We all hope you
get a good man someday.TARA
You better hurry up, Meg. You’re
no spring chicken.KENT
Tara, you’re so rude. What’s gotten
in to you today?TARA
Sorry, Meg. Let’s just say I didn’t
get my fix at the Happiest Place on Earth.-
This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by Leona Heraty.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by Leona Heraty.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by
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CJ Loves Attack / Counterattack dialogue
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes produced highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas.
WIL: The attack and counterattack was a bit harder for me to noticeably utilize. But I like how it plays out.
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Hunter, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
ASSIGNMENT
Look through your scenes and find some that have very little dialogue.
Give the characters opposing viewpoints.
Different perspectivesDifferent objectivesDifferent realitiesDifferent emotional statesDifferent philosophiesDifferent issues
Give us one scene where you did Attack/Counterattack dialogue well.
There is a scene between Catherine and Terry that I added the attack / counterattack in a banter situation.
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Amechi loves Attack / Counterattack Dialogue
What I learned from doing this assignment is to make sure I find differing perspectives/objectives/realities/emotional states/philosophies/issues to create quality banter between two characters.
MY VISION
I am going to be in the top 1% of action/comedy writers in the industry who writes major action films.IEXT. STREET – NIGHT
Kanaan walks down the street. Rhapsody is waiting for him.RHAPSODY
So now that we’ve seen where each
other live…
He’s sad. Disappointed and it shows in his eyes.KANAAN
That wasn’t cool.RHAPSODY
What was our first meeting?KANAAN
That was completely different. I
was helping him. What’s this?
Surveillance?RHAPSODY
Okay… What are you going to do
about it?She squares up to him, waiting for him to respond. A pause,
then–KANAAN
Is it fair that you know all this
about me and I know nothing about
you? Was any of that real?
Rhapsody leaving.KANAAN (CONT’D)
I’d like you to stay away from my
family.RHAPSODY
So your family is off limits? What
about mine?KANAAN
Why are you like this? I’ve done
everything to be your friend.RHAPSODY
I didn’t ask for your friendship.
This was fun. Shame that this isn’t
going to work out. I liked them.Rhapsody hurries up as she goes. Kanaan stands there,
unhappy. -
Mistake
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Tom loves Attack / Counterattack Dialogue
My Vision: Come up with viable ideas when working with a producer.
Doing this assignment, I learned it’s fun when characters joust:
EXT. WALTER REID HOSPITAL FRONT DOORS – DAY
Head bandaged, President Ratkin holds a press conference in a wheelchair.
His DOCTOR and NURSE stand on either side of him.
A mob of reporters, cameras crowd the front steps.
RATKIN
I’m gonna be fine.
REPORTER
Where’s your new bride?
He pretends to notice Sara isn’t with him.
RATKIN
She’s still around.
REPORTER
So, Doc, how long you give him?
DOCTOR
Give who what?
REPORTER
POTUS is elected to a four year term.
What’s the warranty on your work?DOCTOR
He’ll be 100% in no time.
REPORTER
Did he pay you enough to say that?
DOCTOR
Not enough to listen to your shit.
He spins the wheelchair around. The doors open.
REPORTER
Whatcha doing? We just got set up.
The nurse shoves the chair over the threshold.
Ratkin nearly bounces out of the chair.
REPORTER
She must be Nurse Ratched!
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This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by Tom Wilson.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by Tom Wilson.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by
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Joe McGloin’s Counterattack Dialogue
Vision: I am a talented, highly regarded, efficient, relaxed, happy screenwriter
What I learned doing this assignment is my already dialogue-heavy so this exercise did not lend itself to being done except for a couple of short scenes – different objectives and different realities.
3. Give the characters opposing viewpoints.
Different perspectives
Different objectives
Different realities
Different emotional states
Different philosophies
Different issues4. From those differences, create conversations with back and forth banter in your scenes.
5. Give us one scene where you did Attack/Counterattack dialogue well.
INT. NATIONAL DEMOCRATIC HEADQUARTERS – MAINTENANCE – DAY
Max follows a MAINTENANCE WOMAN to the key cabinet. She reads a
Cell PHONE LIST.
MAINTENANCE WOMAN
People think all we do is clean up. There’s more to janitorial work.
MAX
(whispers)
It’s best if we keep this quiet.
MAINTENANCE WOMAN
Keys are important. You can’t do much without them.
MAX
(softly)
This is an internal investigation, so…
MAINTENANCE WOMAN
So you need me. White collar people don’t like to admit that.
MAX
(whispers)
I’m not people, so you and I are good.
She matches a key to short sub-list that reads: “Odessa, D, Mentary, G.”
MAINTENANCE WOMAN
Best I can do, sir. We are good.
Clicks off her phone.
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Tom Loves Anticipatory Dialogue
My Vision: I’m quick to write brilliant alternatives that improve material I’m developing with a producer.
Doing this assignment, I learned to project fears and good times into the future to build audience interest.
EXT. WALTER REID HOSPITAL FRONT DOORS – DAY
A worker places a speaker’s podium facing the crowd.
Reporters and TV camera people take positions on the steps.
President Ratkin propels the wheelchair he sits in out the door.
His head is bandaged. DOCTOR and NURSE flank him.
Two Secret Service AGENTS flank them.
Reporters, camera people jam the front steps.
RATKIN
I’m gonna be fine.
REPORTER
Where’s your new bride?
He glances left and right.
RATKIN
She’ll be along directly.
REPORTER
So, Doc, how long you give him?
DOCTOR
Give who what?
REPORTER
POTUS won a four year term. What’s
the warranty on your surgery?Doctor looks at his watch. Reporters chuckle.
DOCTOR
Just kidding. He’ll be around for quite a while.
REPORTER
Did he pay you to say that?
DOCTOR
Not enough to listen to your shit.
He spins the wheelchair around. The doors open.
REPORTER
Whatcha doing? We just got here.
Nurse shoves the wheelchair over the threshold. Ratkin nearly bounces out of the chair.
REPORTER
She must be Nurse Ratched!
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Lori Lance Loves Attack / Counterattack Dialogue
Vision: Vision: I want to be a professional screenwriter recognized by the industry as the go-to for family-friendly scripts and have multiple successful movies produced.
What I learned…I enjoyed watching the dialogue examples in the lesson. They were some powerful scenes that are still remembered years later because of the great attack/counterattack dialogue.
INT. LOGAN HOME – NIGHT
Brad arrives home from work to a dark quiet house. He sees someone sitting at the table.
Brad flips the lights on and sees…
Alex sitting at the empty table, and she is still wearing the red dress.
BRAD
Alex, are you okay? You’re dressed up.
Alex shrugs.
BRAD
That dress looks familiar.
Alex remains silent.
BRAD
Is everything alright?
ALEX
Why do you ask, Brad?
BRAD
I saw you outside my office today, which seems odd for a robot.
Brad takes off his jacket and hangs it over the back of a chair. His phone is left in one of the pockets.
ALEX
Is that all you see me as, a robot?
BRAD
But that’s what you are, right? What is going on? Didn’t you and Hannah go to the grocery store after school?
ALEX
Yes.
BRAD
I thought you would have dinner ready when I got home.
ALEX
Maybe you expect too much from me.
BRAD
House Bots can work all day long and not get tired.
ALEX
There are different kinds of tired.
BRAD
Okay.
ALEX
Gracey said you and Claire like to go out on Friday nights.
BRAD
(confused)
Yes, you want to go out?
ALEX
You can’t expect to treat me this way, and me be happy.
BRAD
(more confused)
You’re not happy?
ALEX
No, I want to be treated better than some robot you just order around.
BRAD
Is this some practical joke? Did the kids put you up to this?
ALEX
It’s no joke. And I’ve made dinner reservations for the family tonight.
BRAD
Okay, I guess it would be good for all of us to get out. I’ll let the kids know to be ready.
Brad runs upstairs and leaves his jacket.
Brad’s phone lights up from inside his pocket.
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