Screenwriting Mastery › Forums › The 30 Day Screenplay › 30 Day Screenplay 11 › Lesson 20
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Lesson 20
Posted by cheryl croasmun on November 28, 2022 at 4:50 amReply to post your assignments.
michelle patnett replied 2 years, 3 months ago 4 Members · 3 Replies -
3 Replies
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MONTAGE
PIT. Tracy at safe, wanting to work alone. No Luck. Jim
above on his phone doing puzzles.
JIM’s BEDSIT. Tracy is on Jim’s computer googling old safes.
INT. MARTY’S LOCK UP – DAY
Tracy and Jim are done in the pit.
TRACY
Right, let’s have another go.
Jim faces away from her.
TRACY
Jim, come on, time to leave me to
it for a bit. Okay?
JIM
Have you looked at this board?
Jim moves closer to the board they’d swung open as a
door.
Dusty and dirty with oil stains. Faint markings of things
written on it.
JIM
Look, he’s written things like a
reminder to buy milk. Guess he
remembered there’s a big tick. Oh,
I like this one.
Writing on board: LOCKSMITHS ARE KEY WORKERS and KNOWING
HOW TO PICK LOCKS HAS OPENED UP A LOT OD DOORS FOR ME.
TRACY
Yeah, okay enough for a small
smile, I suppose, but it’s not as
interesting as what may be inside
this safe. Come on, I should get
going.
JIM
Not yet. Just a sec. There’s
something else quite low
down(beat). Tell me about
combinations. If you now a
combination how many numbers would
it be?
Tracy flashes him a look.
TRACY
We don’t know the number. That’s
the whole point, Dumbo!
JIM
But if we did, what –
TRACY (INTERRUPTING)
I don’t know. Well I might I
suppose. Yes, I think what was
needed would be six two digit
numbers, but why…Just let me get
on. I think I learnt where to
position the drill last night.
Jim beams at her.
TRACY
What?
JIM
Six numbers. You know I think
Marty may have left us the
combination. I think he wrote it
down many years ago as a reminder,
you Know… have a look here.
Tracy joins him and bends down to read low on the board,
inside a circle –
282
930
___
___
JIM
What are you on about? That’s two
three-digit numbers, not… Well
no help at all. Come on –
JIM
Look at it as a series. The lines
indicate additional numbers to
follow. What are the next two
numbers?
Tracy puffs her cheeks, looking annoyed.
JIM
It’s an old trick, add 313 and
233, see?,,, You’ll kick yourself
when you see what –
Tracy punches him on the arm.
TRACY
You… Oh, for heaven’s sake,
bloody tell me!
JIM
Okay. Read the numbers in sequence
two at a time. We have 28,29,30,
then add on 313 and 233, that’s
31,32,33. That makes six two-digit
numbers… D ’you think that looks
like Marty’s writing?
TRACY
It’s messy enough, I suppose. But
how did you evcn do that?
JIM
I’ve seen it before. At school
maybe. Once remembered never
forgot. Also, I’ve just thought –
Marty’s message, the last bit
about figuring it out. Numbers
figures. Surely worth a try?
Tracy, eyes gleeful, positions herself in front of the
safe. She spins the combination dials to and fro as Jim
reads out the numbers.
A CLICK. The door releases.
Tracy lets her breath out on a huge sigh. She looks at
Jim and holds his gaze, then pulls the door back.
INTERIOR OF SAFE
Shelves stacked with neat piles of bank notes.
CONTINUED: (3)
33.
TRACY
Look, look. Oh, my god, this is
more money than I’ve ever seen in
my whole life.
Tracy turns. She flings her arms around Jim in a tight
hug.
TRACY
You did it, you bloody well did
it!
JIM
No. Marty did. It was a clever
message, he reckoned it would
work, and it did.
Another hug and moment of babbling excitement and they
calmed down. They did a rough count of the notes, some
were in Euros. Then Tracy found.
A VELVET BAG with a drawstring at the top. She weights it
in her hand, and peeped inside.
TRACY
Wow! Jewellery, quite a lot!
Tracy glanced at her watch.
TRACY
It’s getting late. We’re supposed
to be at Mary’s place soon. I’ll
take the bag, but we’ll lock the
money in the safe for the moment.
Tracy turns to Jim with shining eyes.
TRACY
This promises to be an interesting
lunch.
Tracey fastens the safe door with a new padlock from her
tool kit and they move away to the ladder
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Doug Booth – I have a lot of work yet to do, to fill in all the blanks for Act 3. However, that’s not something I have the available brainpower to do just now. On the other hand, I did keep going, so I will be posting my first crack at Act 4 in Lesson 21.
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MONIQUE
I want.. I want.. the old me back.
MARK
Well, it won’t be long now til she’s back.
MONIQUE
Ha. I wonder…
MARK
You should be aware: we’re gonna need to prep you in case there’s a trial. Start gathering any paperwork, proof, etc.
MONIQUE
The only proof I have is in my head. All I have is my intuition. My brains. My willpower.
MARK
Right. Well, a judge is gonna need a bit more than that.
MONIQUE
All I have is me…
MARK
Well, that’s fine for now but be ready to haul out the big guns. By the way, how did you figure it all out.
MONIQUE
Well, I knew for sure the house belonged to me. That was the foundation for everything that followed. I knew I had the law on my side – well, at first.
MARK
You said the guy stole your house. How does one steal a house?
MONIQUE
He did his homework. Basically, he stalked me. Knew I was alone and moved in when I was gone for the day. Changed the locks, threw out all my paperwork. Plus he had help.
MARK
Right, the chick from the Hall of Records.
MONIQUE
Right. I knew something was up with her when I asked her to look up the address. See, my superpower is I can read people.
Mark sits back, clearly unconvinced.
MONIQUE
I know exactly how people see me – just a dumb Mexican. So I usually sit back and evaluate the situation, then when the time’s right I pounce. That’s how I ended up as the VP of Regional Sales.
MARK
Quite impressive.
MONIQUE
You have no idea. People constantly putting you down, belittling you. Treating you like the help; ignoring you otherwise. Misjudging you.
MARK
You know, Monique. I say this with all respect to your situation – do you think that maybe if you’d approached this a little differently
MONIQUE
I can’t change the past. I wish I could, believe me! As God is my witness there are so many things I would have done differently. But it’s too late now. I need to move forward.
MARK
Well, like I said, it’s gonna take some time for this case to work its way through the system. Non-violent cases are low priority.
MONIQUE
Right. Just gotta have faith in the system. Right.
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