Screenwriting Mastery › Forums › The 30 Day Screenplay › 30 Day Screenplay 11 › Lesson 21
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Lesson 21
Posted by cheryl croasmun on November 28, 2022 at 4:49 amReply to post your assignments.
michelle patnett replied 2 years, 3 months ago 5 Members · 4 Replies -
4 Replies
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Act 4 First Scene
INT. FRANK’S CAR – DAY
Post funeral Frank passes Ken’s house and SLAMS the BRAKES. Backs up into Ken’s driveway.
EXT./INT. KEN’S HOUSE
He knocks twice and opens the door…Dot lays quietly on the sofa.
INSIDE THE HOUSE
She is half sleeping. Frank points to an interior door and she waves him in.
INSIDE KEN’S OFFICE
The walls are adorned with images of all the great philosophers: Aristotle, Socrates, Plato, Nietzsche, Karl Marx, etc.
Interior space is that of a hoarder house with random piles of books and magazines on science, politics, social/cultural, and economics.
A corner space is dedicated to Transcendentalism with beautiful black and white photos of local nature. Frank picks up a copy of “The Maine Woods” that has sleeves of negatives bookmarking the pages.
INSIDE THE LIVING ROOM
Frank spots a machete and picks it up.
FRANK
(to Dot)
Do you mind?
She waves him on his way.
FARM HOUSE – DAY
Frank parks and exits with the machete and book; heads toward the open field.
EDGE OF THE FIELD
Cool autumn days have reduced the brush but thick overgrown alders encroach the field. Frank furiously HACKS away; pushing from field over a rock wall and into the woods.
INSIDE THE WOODS
He finds “the place”. A stump centers a towering white pine, massive sugar maple, and smaller old hickory tree. He sits and thumbs the book; holds up and examines the black and white negatives.-
This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by
Chris Spizuoco.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by
Chris Spizuoco.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by
Chris Spizuoco.
-
This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by
Chris Spizuoco.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by
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INT. SHOP – DAY
MARTY’S STOCKROOM
Tracy is sitting at Marty’s desk. An untidy pile of paper
faces her. Tracy sighs. She picks up an account book,
stares into space for a while, and then opens the book
Ping from the doorbell as the door opens.
Tracy gets up and hurries into the shop.
Constable Stone, out of uniform, thrusts his warrant card
at her.
TRACY
Yeah, I know who you are. What do
you want? Marty’s gone. You know
that, so there’s nothing you can
pin on him now. Why don’t you
leave us alone?
CONSTABLRE SHORT
Yes, and George Godwin has gone
too. Probably a good thing that.
But the evidence was clear. I
don’t think he went there to kill
George Godwin –
TRACY
Marty couldn’t hurt a fly!
CONSTABLRE SHORT (CONTINUING)
But, I reckon he went there to
steal. Goodness knows what that
man has tucked away. What’s more I
think there’s a good chance
whatever he took from Godwin is
here in this shop.
Tracy frowns.
CONSTABLE SHORT
Whether you know it or not what
say we have a look?
TRACY
You have no right to do that. You
need a search warrant. I thought
you were no more than a low level
guard dog. This isn’t even your
patch. I want you to leave. Get
out!
Constable Stone turned with a sneer on his face. He
reversed the door sign to CLOSED and clicked the door
lock.
Tracy retreated behind the counter.
CONSTABLE STONE
You don’t want to hinder a police
enquiry, now do you?
TRACY
I certainly want to hinder you.
Get out, I’m sure you need a
warrant to search somewhere.
Constable Stone raises the hatch in the counter. Tracy
steps sideways to block him.
Without warning, Constable Stone raises his hand and slaps
Tracy hard across the face.
Tracy gasps and stumbles back putting a hand to her left
cheek.
Stone ignores her and pushes past her into the stock
room.
CONSTABLE SHORT
Maybe you know where he hid his
stuff.
Trace quickly slips her phone out. Fingers moving
rapidly, she texts Jim.
HELP.
STOCK ROOM
Constable Stone is looking around. He sees-
KEYS hanging from hooks behind Marty’s desk. One key has
a label marked LOCK UP.
Tracy has followed him in.
TRACY
This is just you, isn’t it? It’s
nothing to do with the police –
what would that inspector of yours
make of what you’re doing here?
Stone pulls open the desk drawers one by one, each is
stuffed with paper and pieces of the trade: keys,
padlocks etc.
Stone turns towards Tracy, menacingly.
CONSTABLE SHORT
Where’s the safe?
TRACY
There’s no safe here. People tend
not to try and rob locksmiths.
Have you seen the lock on the
door? It’s state of the art.
Stone takes a step towards her.
CONSTABLE SHORT
I don’t believe you. I…
A loud pounding on the shop door. Pounding continues.
Constable Stone and Tracy stand unmoving, staring at each
other.
TRACY
You going on with this in front of
witnesses. Lots of witnesses?
SHOP
Tracy pushes past him and hurries towards the shop door.
Constable Stone follows.
Jim and a group of stallholders stand looking in.
Tracy unlocks the door.
Constable Stone steps outside holding up his warrant
card.
CONSTABLE SHORT
Police business. Nothing to see
here.
Jim enters the shop. Tracy and Jim hug each other. Jim
runs a finger down Tray’s reddened cheek.
JIM
Are you okay? What happened?
Did he hit you?
Tracy turns towards the door.
TRACY
Lets get out of here and I’ll tell
you all about it.
37.
INT. CAFE – DAY
Tracy and Jim sit at a table with mugs of tea and a kit
kat each. Tracy holds a cloth wrapping a number of ice
cubes to her left cheek.
JIM
So, he’s after Marty’s ill-gotten
gains and it’s him doing it and
not any sort of police
investigation. Right? How’s your
face feeling?
Tracy lowers the cloth.
TRACY
Getting better, I think, but it
bloody well stung. What a bastard.
JIM
I’m sure it did and we need to
report him. And take a photo
before it fades.
Tracy raises the ice pack again.
TRACY
No, listen, it would just open up a
whole area of police interest. And
what if there was stuff hidden
somewhere? It’s the last thing
Mary would want, too, worst of all
now she’s grieving.
JIM
Alright, we’ll say nothing. But if
Constable what’s his name comes
back, I’m not having you in any
danger – promise me you’ll think
again. Yes?
Tracy nods.
JIM
How about we go and watch a film
this evening? Forget about bent
cops?
Tracy removes her cloth and smiles.
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Doug Booth – again, pretty rough, but I’m still heading for FADE OUT (at which point I’ll review everything and do my best to whip it all into shape)!
FOR BEGINNING OF ACT FOUR
IN THE BASEMENT OF THE MANSIONwe see the 2 ghostly figures – Caspar and Alice – looking over Carl and Nick, both still unconscious. Note: they won’t be tied up, because that could look suspicious, if their bodies are found and they are tied up – won’t look like an accident. Not sure if Scott needs to be in there, to be a “credible witness” to the accident – “tried to save them”, etc – but couldn’t. Hmmm, Have to see!
NOTE: THERE IS A LOT TO WORK OUT HERE – INCLUDING THE WHOLE SETUP FOR THE FINAL WALK-THROUGH – HOW NICK AND CARL GET JUMPED, IS SCOTT THERE – A LOT MORE OF THE OVERALL PLAN – TO BLOW UP THE MANSION AND HAVE THAT, APPARENTLY, TRIGGER “ACCIDENTAL BLASTS” AT THE CHURCH AND THE HDFC – SO THE ENTIRE BLOCK IS DESTROYED AND, OF COURSE, NICK AND CARL ARE KILLED IN THE EXPLOSION, AS WELL.
5.
I SUSPECT SCOTT WILL, IN FACT, PLAY A LARGE ROLE IN ALL THIS – AND, OF COURSE, HE WILL HAVE TO GET HIS COMEUPPANCE THROUGH A NEAT FORM OF POETIC JUSTICE. SO… AS THE TWO GUYS ARE LYING, UNCONSCIOUS, IN THE BASEMENT, WITH THE EXPLOSIONS ALL CREDIBLY SET UP AND EVERYTHING WORKING LIKE CLOCKWORK!
CASPAR
Check out the valiant heroes!ALICE
Hey, one of them is your grandson!CASPAR
Oh dear. The ones we’ve entrustedto save the neighborhood? He looks at Alice.
CASPAR (CONT’D) Remind me who was his father?
ALICE
Oh, Daddy! You really liked Edgar!Caspar shakes his head.
CASPAR
Edgar. How could I forget!ALICE
Quiet yourself, poppa! You knowboth of their hearts are good – and, as far as their intentions – well, you know that my Carl’s are 100% pure!
CASPAR
Yes, but allowing themselves to besuckered into such an obvious trap?
ALICE
Poppa – remember, you – apart frombeing a philanthropist and a neighborhood hero – were also an out and out criminal! You had very well developed instincts!
CASPAR
True. But I was sure that otherone, Nick – he seemed to show some pretty good promise in that direction… though I know you spoiled Carl so the only things he learned were in books…
(MORE)
6.
CASPAR (CONT’D) but, seriously! Allowing
themselves to be…
ALICE
As I recall – YOU were onekidnapped for 5 days… and laid low for the next three years after your “miraculous escape”!
CASPAR
Hey – that was Dutch Schultz’s mob –they had serious skills. But then again, so did I. Lucky for you, because otherwise, you would never have been born!
ALICE
You know I love you, Poppa!CASPAR
As do I, sweetheart – to infinityand beyond! She gives him a look.
CASPAR (CONT’D)
You know I like to keep up withwhat the new folks are doing down here…(if we needed to establish that he knows contemporary stuff, to finish up the story)
He looks down towards a corner in the basement.
CASPAR (CONT’D) Hey, you. Over there!
A rat poking around in the basement looks up. “Me”?
CASPAR (CONT’D)
Yes, you! Go wake that big stupid-looking one up!
The rat looks from one to the other, not able to figure out which one is meant.
CASPAR (CONT’D)
I get it. Take your choice!The rat gives Nick’s ear a gentle nibble. He stirs, moves, then sits up fast – and the rat, who had still been hanging on, is tossed away…
7.
And when he lands, he turns back to Caspar, CHITTERING his outrage!
CASPAR (CONT’D) Sorry, little fellah. I owe you
big time!
The rat recovers its composure and does a little “namaste” type bow and nod – and then skitters away.
As Nick rouses Carl.
NICK
Wake up, Carl! C’mon. We’re inmaximum trouble!
Carl does come back to consciousness.CARL W-what happened?
NICK We got jumped…
(sees the flashing, beeping device set up in the basement)
What the hell is this?
Carl reacts – picks up a heavy brick…CARL
No idea – but whatever it is – notin my house!!!
He smashes the brick down and the device is pulverized and dies.
NICK
Whoa! That is so much coolerthan… “is it the red wire or the blue wire… holy shit, we’re gonna die”…
(laughing with nervous relief)
CARL
Yeah – luckily in the case,neighborhood rules applied! CASPAR AND ALICE
barely visible, exchange looks. Alice beams and Caspar nods.
8.
CASPAR
I guess he takes after his Grandpopafter all!
AS SOMEONE FROM THE CHURCH CONGREGATION with whom Nick had made a previous contact (Riley?) sends a text to Nick’s phone. (PS dumb those guys didn’t take their phones. Is there a reason why Nick would have put his down inside his underwear, because he was afraid of something like that? Don’t know.
At any rate, Nick looks at his phone – reads:
NICK
It’s from Riley, Jenice’s son.(reading text)
Hey, Nick! We just got an alert to clear the building! What do you think is going on? My mom’s not home and I can’t reach her.Nick and Carl exchange looks.
NICK (CONT’D) (texting back)
On our way!
EXT. HOLSTEIN WAY
The guys leave the mansion and run past the church towards the HDFC.
(Is someone watching them from a car, across the street? Gets on the phone)
EXT. HDFC
Meanwhile, everyone is filing out, with firemen helping keep order… as Nick and Carl rush in, going in the opposite direction.
FIREMAN
You can’t go in! We’re clearingthe building!
NICK
I got a text from a disabled kidwho lives inside. He needs help getting out!
The fireman steps aside and Nick and Carl head in.
9.
INT. BUILDING
They see Riley, in his wheelchair, coming down the stairs, carried by a couple of his larger male neighbors! Tired but diligently making sure to give him a smooth ride!
RILEY
Hey, Nick! You didn’t have to come– we’re all family here!
NICK
I know! I just used you as anexcuse to get in. How do I get to the basement?
One of the neighbors points to another staircase doorway.
NEIGHBOR
Over there. But we’re supposed tobe clearing the building… not messing around down by the boiler! If that sucker explodes…
NICK Exactly! Thanks!
He dashes off. Carl hesitates, then follows,
CARL
Hey, I’m coming too!INT. BASEMENT
The two of them clamber down the basement stairs as fast as they can,
They find the boiler room – walled off from the rest of the basement. They open the door…
And when the lights come on, there is the natural gas-fired boiler – looking as big as an antique submarine. Yeah – if that thing blows…
CARL Where…? Where…?
And there it is, off in the far corner, snuggled up against gas intake line to the boiler,
Not dissimilar to the one at Carl’s house. The digital read- out is ticking down…
No bricks or anything to use…
10.
Nick pick it up with both hands – it weights about 40 and SMASHES it agsinst the boiler, And again.
CARL (CONT’D) Let me try.
Lifting it high over his head, he brings it down in a monumental smash – and, with sparks and light flashes device dies..,
NICK
Yeah. Way better than “red wire,blue wire”…
Just as… there’s a HUGE EXPLOSION OS and the entire basement shakes…
EXT. BUILDING
Out on the street, everyone is rushing away from the explosion – as Nick and Carl burst outside, to see…
11. lbs –
– the
The entire church crumple and collapse with earth-shaking impact and a deafening roar. (ps looks like I lost my “save the cat” reference back with going to get Riley – unless Nick wanted to say that and Carl says “that’s stupid – tell ‘em you need to save the kid!”)
Then, Nick checks his phone…
NICK (reading text)
Shania’s in trouble.
Carl shrugs. He’s in it for the duration.CARL You know where?
NICK Her place.
Not sure why it’s there and not where they were before? Hmmm.
CARL Let’s go.
CUT TO:
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INT. HOME – DAYTIME
Monique watches Mr. Miller as he sleeps. He draws a few, ragged breathes, then appears to stop breathing. Monique closes her eyes and turns away.
INT. HOME – NIGHTTIME
Monique in the kitchen, doing the dishes. Mr. Miller’s two children bicker in the background, arguing about who gets what.
MARGARET
The china is mine. And the furniture. You took the stamp collection, and that’s worth a whole lot more than this other junk.
BOB
Hey, I got here first. Not my fault you refused to come when I called you.
MARGARET
No, you took what you wanted, THEN called me.
BOB
Hey, early bird and all that.
MARGARET
And you – what’s your name again – make sure the kitchen is all packed up. We’re still paying you for the rest of the week.
Monique stares through the window and slowly wipes a plate.
INT. HOME – DAYTIME
Monique in the middle of packing boxes. Phone rings.
MARK (on the phone)
Hey, it’s me. Can you talk?
Monique tiptoes to a bedroom and closes the door.
MARK
We have a court date.
MONIQUE
What? How?
Close-up of Monique pressing the receiver to her ear, tears rolling down her face.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by
michelle patnett.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by
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