Lesson 23

[Jeremy Cooke]

LOGLINE: Phillip has been sentenced to the guillotine for murder and is visited by Brandy, his wife. During a prison visit we learn Brandy set the whole thing up in revenge for Phillip’s philandering.

ESSENCE: Betrayal breeds betrayal.

SCENE
INT. DEATH CELL – DAY
The cell is painted in a light green colour. There is a glass panel on one side with a door #A on the opposite side with “Danger – trip hazard” stenciled in red on it. The cell has a small seating area and, in the corner, a small toilet area with a waist-high wall separating it from an unmade bed.
Brandy enters from door #B.

PHILLIP
(stands)
Brandy. I didn’t expect

Brandy moves over to the glass panel and checks her hair.

PHILLIP (cont’d)
to see you at this stage.
(gestures to seating)
Please join me. Did you bring the papers?

Bandy puts a bundle of papers on the table and Phillip leafs through them.
Phillip
(points)
Here’s a good one of you.

BRANDY
(cranes over)
Hmmm…my hair looks nice. Oh look there’s one of your floozies.

PHILLIP
May we please not rake over that again.
(gestures to cell)
It doesn’t seem to be neither the time nor place.

BRANDY
(continues leafing)
Well if you hadn’t screwed

PHILLIP
Please. I really don’t need this…not as my last memory. Us fighting.

BRANDY
Well just saying…you brought this on yourself. Will there be cameras outside do you think?

The guard brings in Phillip’s last meal then exits.

PHILLIP
Would you like some? I seem to have somewhat lost

BRANDY
(picks through the dishes)
What on earth did you order? Escargot de Bourgogne? Crepes? With a Moselle! Ugh! What were you

PHILLIP
I was distracted. When it came to ordering I somewhat lost my
(beat)

BRANDY
(nods to door #A)
I think that’s done through there.

They pick at the food and Phillip pours them both a glass of wine.

PHILLIP
Any news from L’Président?

BRANDY
(nods to glass window)
I think they’d mention it.

PHILLIP
Mmm…disgusting. Tell me for old times sake? I never quite knew how they found where I’d stashed the pistol.

BRANDY
Oh that’s easy! They followed me.

A guard enters and clears away the remains of the meal…

PHILLIP
Any news?
…leaving a pot of coffee and a few miniatures of brandy.

PHILLIP
Ah well.
(brightly)
no news is good news. Eh?

(beat)

PHILLIP (cont’d)
I do apologize. You were saying?

BRANDY
Les Flics knew everything. They were watching me. How they found out I don’t

PHILLIP
Ah…maybe I can answer that.

BRANDY
How?

PHILLIP
Well I tipped them off.

BRANDY
You! Why would

PHILLIP
I knew you had a solid alibi so I thought if I could use you to…ah…distract them, to confuse things, well that would give me time to slip away.

(beat)

BRANDY
You should have warned me.

PHILLIP
(chuckles)
I know what a good actress you are. I didn’t want to spoil your big moment.

BRANDY
I told them. They knew.

PHILLIP
Who?

BRANDY
The Flics. I told them.

PHILLIP
But why?

BRANDY
I thought you were setting me up. To take the blame.

PHILLIP
But to the pistol? They were supposed to follow you to were I’d stashed some of the cash. Not the pistol! Never! I’d never give them the evidence for…

BRANDY
I though you were trying to send me through
(nods to door #A)
there.

PHILLIP
No, no. I loved you. I’ve always loved you and always will. How…no matter what has happened it was all for you my love.

BRANDY
(crying)
But those girls I

PHILLIP
A mere distraction. Why

BRANDY
(bawling here eyes out)
We can tell them. I’ll say I led you

PHILLIP
No no my love.
(nods to door #A)
It doesn’t actually matter that much.

BRANDY
(sniffing)
What are you saying.

PHILLIP
(takes Brandy’s hand)
I’m saying that it doesn’t matter that much. Not now.

BRANDY
Why Phillip? What

PHILLIP
I was leaving you anyway.

Brandy snatches her hand back.

BRANDY
Leaving me! What do you

Phillip takes Brandy’s hand back.

PHILLIP
D’you know they won’t let me smoke in here? I have to go out in the yard. Funny that it’s

BRANDY
It’s for the guards you silly not you

PHILLIP
And it’s too late for me I’m afraid.

BRANDY
What are you saying Phillip.

PHILLIP
That I’m for the high-jump anyway.
(nods to cigarettes on table)
They’ve got me.

BRANDY
They?

PHILLIP
The big-C. That’s why I pulled one last big job. To make sure you were alright when I’m…gone.

BRANDY
But the Doctors! We can get the best, did you get a second opinion? There must be something

PHILLIP
No mistake. The letter was very clear. It’s over for me my love. Anyway I did kill that poor guard so I suppose it’s fair.

BRANDY
(sobbing)
But I didn’t mean Oh God Phillip what have I done I didn’t

PHILLIP
Come on now girl. Be brave, be my brave

BRANDY
I did it. Oh forgive me I did it!

PHILLIP
What do you mean? I killed the poor

BRANDY
I wrote that letter! I found a sample on the Internet and copied it.

PHILLIP
You wrote, the letter from the Doctor, you

BRANDY
Yes. Yes, it was me! I thought that

Phillip sits back. A pause, then

PHILLIP
(ruefully)
Oh the jokes on me
(looks up)
you got me good this time big fellow. All the bad things I’ve done and you send me a letter telling me to kill myself.

A pair of guards step though door #A

GUARD #1
Monsieur Phillip we’re ready for you.

PHILLIP
Oh so soon! I wasn’t

Phillip turns to Brandy

PHILLIP
Well this is it old girl. I have loved you all my life. Je n’regret rien.

Phillip exits and door #A closes.

Brandy sits down, picks up a cigarette and lights it while staring defiantly at the glass window.

BRANDY
Fuck you Flics. Here’s the merry widow with the loot. That’ll teach you to make a fool of me with your whores.

SHOT
Camera shot looking into the cell through the glass window. A hand reaches into shot and turns off an old fashioned reel-to-reel tape recorder.

[Beth Zurkowski]

Great job Jerry.

[Brenda Boddy]

Great job with the interest techniques.

[Jeremy Cooke]

I do worry slightly about the danger of over stuffing. I like the stories of M.R.James – gentle little scary hours – but putting too much M.I. into a scene may not give it room to breath.

That said the traits and subtext passes are a real winner.

[Brian Walsh]

I think you did a great job, Jeremy. The interest techniques made this compelling reading, never knowing what to expect and being surprised by the twists.

[Lynn Vincentnathan]

Lynn’s QE Cycle #5 WRITE THIS SCENE

What I learned from this assignment is that the sheet of ITs so far has really helped.

===============================

LOGLINE: Brandy is in trouble with the police over illegal dogs and Phil is there to get her off the hook, until he’s the one arrested.

ESSENCE: Brandy gets back at Phil for not getting her acting roles and for being a “red pill.”

SCENE ARC: From Brandy looking innocent, a damsel in distress, to her looking evil.

BRANDY: Traits: Status seeking, Entertaining, Needy, Deceptive

— Subtext: Brandy willingly lies when it serves her purpose.

PHILLIP — Traits: Manipulative, Sense of entitlement, Guilt ridden, Polite

— Subtext: Phillip is polite…as he manipulates those around him.

===============================

EXT. RESIDENTAL STREET – DAY

A row of small, but immaculate two-bedroom houses with expansive back yards line the street. Trees, shrubs, flowers. Farm fields behind. Idyllic. [SITUATION current idyllic scene/situation]

An older sedan sits in the driveway of A PINK HOUSE, an ANIMAL CONTROL VAN parked at the curb.

BRANDY (32), glitzy clothes and makeup, stacked and oozing sex, stands near the curb on her cell.

BRANDY (ON CELL): Phil, you’ve got to get over here. Someone called Animal Control on me. I don’t know what’s up. [mystery, creating a future; CHARACTER CURRENT SITUATION/COVER-UP: sweet damsel in distress]

The ANIMAL CONTROL OFFICER (40s) comes from the back yard with a FEMALE PITBULL on a catch pole, GROWLING. [something unseen]

BRANDY: (to the AC Officer): I was away for a month. I don’t know how that dog got in my yard. He seems vicious. (orchestrated shiver) [PLOT/SITUATION Demand/Current Situation – how did the dog get there; mystery]

AC OFFICER: It’s a female and there’re puppies back there. You should know it’s illegal to have or breed pitbulls in Hidalgo. And the dog and puppies look half starved. This is serious. I’ll have to call the police. [hook, suspense, creating a future, anticipatory dialogue, fear]

BRANDY: (hand-to-ample chest) Oh my God, the police?! And you mean it’s a pitbull?! [fear, entertaining]

The dog strains against the pole, tries to bite the Officer, but as it passes Brandy is gives PITIFUL WHINE and looks to her for help. [setup, intrigue] He loads the dog into the van, then pulls his cell, speaks out of earshot.

PHIL (45) comes rushing out of a house on her left and sidles up to Brandy. The AC Officer offs his cell, then approaches Brandy and Phil with a clipboard and pen in hand.

BRANDY: (to Phil) He says it’s a pitbull!

PHIL: A pitbull! Well that explains why it’s so vicious. Nearly attacked me several times. (to the AC Officer) So glad you came and took it away, Officer. [polite] I had no idea it was a pitbull. In fact, when Brandy asked me to feed her dog while she was away, I thought it was a poodle. (turns to Brandy) You did have a poodle, right? (off her nod) What happened to it? (beat) Oh God, I hope this monster didn’t kill and eat your dog. [mystery, misinterpretation, superior position – he doesn’t know this is serious and police have been called; guilt ridden]

BRANDY: (trembling) I just don’t know, Phil. Poochi-Poo is nowhere to be found. The monster probably ate him! (sob)

Phil lightly embraces her.

PHIL: It’s all my fault, Dear. I should have called you when I wondered if it was your dog. I mean, I just don’t know anything about dogs. [misinterpretation – implicating himself; guilt ridden]

BRANDY: And I don’t know who called Animal Control.

She glances at NEIGHBOR FRANK (40s) on the porch of the house to the right. He’s standing, arms folded, viewing the scene. [something unseen, intrigue] Phil follows her line of vision, then back to the AC Officer.

PHIL: As you can see, Brandy, isn’t responsible for this. As her talent agent and head of the neighborhood watch–

AC OFFICER: (to Brandy) It was an anonymous tip. A man’s voice. (to Phil) So, you said you were feeding it. And the puppies?

PHIL: Well, I would just shove the food into the yard before the dog could jump me. I never saw puppies.

AC OFFICER: (writing notes) Then you are the one responsible for the dog. (off Phil’s gawk shock) You see, even if you feed a dog one day, the dog becomes your responsibility. [fear, Major Twist… we thought Brandy was in trouble]

As Phil studders incredulity, A POLICE CAR arrives. A much tougher-looking POLICEMAN gets out, joins the AC Officer, Phil, and Brandy.

POLICEMAN: (to the AC Officer) I’ll take from here. [uncomfortable moment — Phil had no idea it was that serious]

AC OFFICER: I’ll go get the puppies.

The Policeman nods. The AC Officer goes gets a box from his van, then heads back to the yard.

POLICEMAN: (to Phil) What’s your full name and address? Your occupation?

PHIL: Philip Barlow, Officer. 2118 Rosy Lane, Hidalgo, California. I’m a-a talent agent… And into real estate. I’m head of the neighbor watch. I have great relations with your police chief. [sense of entitlement]

POLICEMAN: And what’s your connection to this property, (Looks at his clipboard) 2116 Rosy Lane?

PHIL: I own all the houses on this street, and–

POLICEMAN: (gottcha) I see.

PHIL: No, officer, you don’t understand. I’m renting this house out to Miss Brandy here. She was away for a while and asked me to feed her dog. I thought it was a poodle, but–

POLICEMAN: (to Brandy) And your name, address, and occupation?

BRANDY: (flushed and effusive) Brandy Lamarr, with two “Rs.” 2116 Rosy Lane, Hidalgo. I’m a movie star. (baby voice) You may have seen me in “Too Late, George”?

POLICEMAN: (viewing her cleavage) No, I… didn’t see that one.

BRANDY: “Quannah’s Quandry”?

POLICEMAN: “Whoa, that was a great movie. You were in that?!”

BRANDY: Well, I was pretty far down the credits. (glares at Phil) The saloon girl?

POLICEMAN: I guess I’ll have to see it again, be on the lookout for the saloon girl. (to Phil, serious) So what we have here is a 13-50, possession of a pitbull, and 13-75, breeding pitbulls. I’ll have to take you in, since you were the one feeding the dog. [surprise re how serious it is; fear]

PHIL: (knocked back) What?! You mean arrest me over a dog thing?

POLICEMAN: That’s the law. Lack of knowledge of the law–

PHIL: (disgusted) I know, … is no excuse. But I don’t even live here and Miss Brandy was away for a month.

BRANDY: (interjecting) On one of those spaghetti Westerns, “Bushwhacker’s Den.” Which’ll surely top the Django series.

Phil speaks to Brandy, meekly succumbing as the Policeman handcuffs him [polite], murmuring the MIRANDA RIGHTS.

PHIL: I thought you were with your sick father? (to the Policeman) I’m innocent, Officer. [hope]

POLICEMAN: That’s what they all say. [fear]

PHIL: I need to call my attorney. [hope]

POLICEMAN: At the police station.

The AC Officer returns with his box full of puppies.

AC OFFICER: These dogs are sick. One is dead. It’s more serious than I thought. [fear]

Brandy shrugs, turns to Phil, while Phil is worried stunned at his predicament.

BRANDY: I WAS with Daddy a few days… Phil, you weren’t getting me any parts. I got another agent. I need money. I’m in debt. [needy, deceptive]

As the Policeman leads compliant Phil to the Police Car and loads him in, Phil calls back.

PHIL: I understand why, Brandy Dear. But you blew the parts I got you. No pun intended. And-and “Bushwhacker’s Den”? You’re going back to that? [mystery/intrigue – what is “that”?]

The Police Car zooms away with Phil. Brandy pulls her cell.

BRANDY (ON CELL): Hi Daddy. You were so right about the law. And they took your sick pitbull and puppies away. (whimpers) Can you can bring back Poochi Poo? [PLOT/SITUATION Reveal – Brandy arranged to put the dog there & setup Phil, betrayal, willing to lie]

Neighbor Frank approaches.

FRANK: I didn’t call the cops, Miss Brandy. I swear.

BRANDY: I know that, Franky Baby. But I am glad to get Phil the Red Pill out of my hair. (off Frank’s confusion) Trying to change little ole me. [CHARACTER REVEAL – she’s evil all along]

FRANK: (headshake TSK) Well, I hope they lock him away for good. The slumlord. Always raising the rent on these rat-infested shacks.

Frank looks across the street and we see for the first time an ugly, massive junkyard. [surprise, more interesting setting, REVEAL: new scene/situation, a rural slum]

FRANK (CONT’D): Though I guess he gave you a concession.

BRANDY: An itty-bitty one… So how’re things with your big construction contract? You said you’ll be able to move to a real swanky place…

INT./EXT. POLICE CAR/CITY STREETS – DAY

PHIL: I wanted to save her. “Bushwhacker’s Den” is NOT a western. It’s porn. So I failed. [guilt-ridden] (eyes the Policeman in the rearview mirror) I just want to help actors become rich and famous AND live good, decent lives. I’ve discovered more star material than anyone in our agency. [manipulative]

POLICE: So, you’re a talent agent? … Any parts for policemen?

PHIL: They’re hot right now. Yeh, I could get you some parts. Start with a couple of bits and who knows how far you’ll go. (beat) So what’s the penalty for these dog crimes?

POLICE: The dogs are starved and sick, but we won’t make that an issue… A month in jail at most or a fine, but surely your attorney’ll get you off. And if he doesn’t, I know one who will. (beat) So you think the woman’s guilty?

PHIL: Not for that, no. And I don’t think the neighbor put the dog there, even though he’s a pitbull himself. It’s likely the dog just came into the yard because Brandy was away… (whines) And ate her little poodle. I feel so responsible. For her poodle, not her. [guilt-ridden] (long beat) But you might want to investigate Brandy for other things. Her real name is Bertha Foglehorse. And if you want her junkie’s contact info… [cliffhanger, twist]

[Jeremy Cooke]

I enjoyed that – it kept moving and changing direction. The characters hit the traits. Looking forward to read the dialogue pass.
I’d like a stronger motive than merely “trying to change” Brandy – something more at stake.

[Lynn Vincentnathan]

Thanks, Jeremy. That really helped.

[Alfred Dunham]

Alfred Dunham’s Lesson 23, First Draft.

LOGLINE: An oversexed teenage boy risks all for the chance at a one-night’s stand but hopes for more.

ESSENCE: Everybody is betraying everybody else. Duplicity.

SITUATION

Person A protects Person B when talking to the police but is then arrested. The next scene reveals that Person B set the whole thing up.

SCENE ARC

NOTE: I could not get the concept to work, as is, so I gave Brandy, Phillip’s status seeking trait and swapped it out for Brandy’s manipulative trait, per previous assignments.

Philip PERSON A

Traits: manipulative, sense of entitlement, guilt-ridden, polite

Subtext: Philip is polite… as he manipulates those around him.

Brandy PERSON B

Traits: status-seeking, entertaining, needy, deceptive

Subtext: Brandy willingly lies when it serves her purpose.

MAXIMUM INTERTAINMENT

1. STRUCTURAL

A. Suspense.

A police car drives past Brandy’s parked car, STOPS.

B. Major twist.

Brandy puts her half of the loot back in Philip’s sack when he’s not looking.

C. Surprise

Philip suggests knocking over a warehouse.

D. Put in a More Interesting Setting

A warehouse, A wealthy person’s house, pawn shop.

E. Mislead / Reveal.

Phillip’s best friend/informant betrays him to the police. He and Brandy are a couple, working together.

F. Superior Position / Dramatic Irony

Possibility: Brandy’s little sister hears everything.

G. Uncertainty — hope / fear

Philip’s breaking in process.

H. Intrigue

Brandy’s girlfriend knows something went down, but if she reports what she knows, she will lose Brandy’s friendship forever.

I. Mystery

Possibility: Why are all the jewels all laid out and so easy to snatch?

J. Cliffhanger

Phillip is arrested. But will Brandy’s deceit catch up with her?

K. Dilemma

Do Brandy and Phillip go forward with his proposition.

L. Something unseen

Brandy’s little sister is hiding in Brandy’s closet.

2. CHARACTER

A. Character changes radically.

Brandy morphs from Philip’s boyfriend to his betrayer.

B. Betrayal.

Brandy betrays Phillip

C. Dilemma

Phillip wants Brandy so badly he’s ready to sell his soul to the Devil.

D. Uncomfortable Moment

Phillip wants sex with Brandy. Brandy doesn’t and makes him look foolish.

E. Misinterpretation

Philip is led to believe that if he does something radical for Brandy, he can get what he wants.

3. DIALOGUE

A. Hook

Phillip suggests the un-suggestible. A heist.

B. Predictions

Phillip promises Brandy the moon.

C. Creating a Future

Phillip talks about his and Brandy’s future.

D. Anticipatory Dialogue

Brandy queries Philip about what he will do if he gets caught.

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INITIAL SCENE [First Draft]: BRANDY AND PHILIP

INT. BRANDY’S HOME – NIGHT

Brandy and Philip are together, alone in the

LIVING ROOM

PHILIP

Are we alone?

BRANDY

Yeah.

PHILIP

When are your parent’s coming home?

BRANDY

Not for hours.

PHILIP

And you little sister?

BRANDY

She’s at a slumber party with her friends.

PHILIP

Wanna go up to your room?

BRANDY

Sure. Why not.

Brandy leads Phillip up the stairs.

BRANDY’S ROOM

Removes his button-down shirt, neatly hangs it over the back of a chair

BRANDY

What are you doing?

PHILIP

Getting comfortable?

Brandy’s glare is off-putting.

PHILIP

I’m sorry. I just thought —

BRANDY

I know what you’re thinking.

PHILIP

Want me to put my shirt back on?

BRANDY

Not necessarily.

As she continues to talk, she entertains Philip with a mini-striptease act as she removes her blouse.

BRANDY

A girl needs to know what’s in it for her. Do you really love me?

PHILIP

Of course, I love you.

BRANDY

How would I know that?

PHILIP

Just as soon as we’re out of high school —

BRANDY

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys all say that. I need something more —

PHILIP

(interrupting)

Tangible?

BRANDY

Yeah. That word.

PHILIP

What if I could get you some jewelry?

BRANDY

That sounds good. When?

PHILIP

Tonight?

BRANDY

Where?

PHILIP

In a warehouse… you don’t want to know more.

BRANDY

How do you know this? And what if you get caught?

Philip transforms into a little-boy peacock.

PHILIP

I won’t. I know a friend.

BRANDY

Okay, if you think you can. Just don’t get me involved.

PHILIP

I would never do that. I love you, remember?

Phillip puts his shirt back on, and asks —

PHILIP

Can I borrow your car?

Brandy tosses Phillip her car key.

BRANDY

Keep the car hidden.

PHILIP

I will. You worry too much.

Laughing, Phillip leaves.

LATER

To the sound of some loud banging on the front door, and voices —

POLICE, O.S.

Police, open up.

Brand opens the door to two police officers.

POLICE

Where’s your car?

Brandy points and screams —

BRANDY

It’s gone. It’s been stolen?

POLICE

That’s all we needed to know. Your car was spotted at the scene of a heist.

BRANDY

I’ve been here all evening.

POLICE

We can see that. Sorry for the intrusion.

BRANDY

Will you find my car? I need it to get to work and school.

POLICE

Yes. We’re looking for it.

MUCH LATER

Philip, dressed in black clothing and carrying a velvet bag and ski mask under his coat, returns.

BRANDY

(in tears)

The police were here.

PHILIP

Yeah, I was afraid of that; I left your car in the Safeway parking lot.

BRANDY

Did anyone see you?

PHILIP

No. I took the long, winding walk back. The Police will find it.

BRANDY

Good.

PHILIP

Can we split this up in your room, just in case?

BRANDY’S ROOM

Philip dumps the loot out on the bed – a fortune in uncut gemstones – hundreds.

Brandy about faints.

PHILIP

There it is.

BRANDY

Did you have any trouble?

Phillip Just laughs and helps Brandy divide the loot.

PHILIP

May I use your bathroom?

BRANDY

Certainly. It’s down the hall on the right.

Phillip leaves, and Brandy quickly puts all the gems back in the bag and closes it.

When Phillip returns, Bandy hands the bag to Phillip —

BRANDY

I’ve hidden my half. Here, take yours and get home fast. And hide it well.

PHILIP

I will.

Philip leaves.

Brandy’s phone rings.

INTERCUT TELEPHONE CONVERSATION

BRANDY

Hello.

JACK

Hi. This is Jack. I’m calling from a pay phone. It all went well.

BRANDY

Phillip said it was almost like they wanted him to take them.

JACK

(laughing)

Stupid boy. I’ll call the insurance company tomorrow. They’ll offer a 10% finders fee, no questions, and with that haul, it will be substantial.

BRANDY

Enough to —

JACK

Yeah, but we’re going to have to lay low for a while.

BRANDY

Yeah, I know. This is going to be painful, being without you.

JACK

Well, at least you won’t have to deal with Phillip… for a very long time.

BRANDY

I’ll try to focus on that. I love you, Jack. Sorry to do this to Phillip, but it was necessary.

JACK

I hear you. Bye and take good care of yourself. I love you, too.

END TELEPHONE CONVERSATION.

Brandy’s little sister, Susan, knocks and enters Brandy’s room.

Brandy about jumps out of her skin.

BRANDY

What are you doing here?

SUSAN

What do you mean? I live here.

BRANDY

I thought you were at a sleepover.

SUSAN

She got sick.

BRANDY

So –?

SUSAN

Yeah. I heard everything. Are you going to get into trouble or something?

[Beth Zurkowski]

Beth Zurkowski cycle 5 assignment 23

Logline: Brandy takes the fall for what Phil did. And Phil falls for Brandy’s daughter Valery.

Essence: Sometimes love isn’t worth it.

What I learned is This was fun.

INT. COMEDY CLUB-NIGHT

BRANDY PAUL (45) is finishing up her act on stage and amid the laughter and clapping she comes back stage. PHIL SCHMIDT (50) meets her there. VALERY PAUL (16) is cleaning up the make up and getting ready to go.

PHIL

The deed is done five days ago in Chicago. But I can no longer sleep because I’m guilt ridden.

BRANDY

I’m so sorry, babe.

PHIL

Please don’t be so stupid and call the police.

BRANDY

Well then I have a dilema. If I report him missing they will come after me or if I don’t say anything they will still come after me.

PHIL

And we can’t continue with this affair anymore.

BRANDY

But Phil I still love you.

PHIL

Please keep it down Valery might hear.

BRANDY

Sorry.

PHIL

Look, I gotta go. See you later.

VALERY

Someone call my name?

BRANDY

It’s not important, dear.

VALERY

When’s dad coming home?

BRANDY

He should be coming home in a couple days.

INT. BRANDY’S CAR -NIGHT

Brandy drops off Valery at a friend’s house. She phones Phil.

PHIL

Hello?

BRANDY

When will I see you later?

PHIL

Look stupid, that’s a figure of speech.

BRANDY

But I want to see you, Phil.

PHIL

If you confess to the murder I’ll continue to see you.

BRANDY

I can’t do that.

PHIL

You’ll get life in prison and with good behavior you could get parole. Then I’ll see you.

BRANDY

I don’t even know how you did it.

PHIL

I used a date rape drug and drown him. Simple as that. Look I can’t take the fall, my family has ties going back to English royalty.

BRANDY

Fine, I’ll confess. Anything to keep you out of prison.

PHIL

Thank you.

INT. POLICE STATION–DAY

Brandy enters and approaches the desk.

BRANDY

My name is Brandy Paul and my husband’s name is Peter Paul.I killed my husband and I worked alone.

POLICE DETECTIVE

How was it done?

BRANDY

I used a date rape drug and drown him.

POLICE DETECTIVE

When and where was this?

BRANDY

In Chicago and I don’t remember when.

POLICE DETECTIVE

Give me a time this occured.

BRANDY

5 days ago.

POLICE DETECTIVE

Where is the body?

BRANDY

At this time, I don’t know.

Police officer gets up out of chair.

POLICE DETECTIVE

Let’s go get fingerprinted and photos and I want you to fill out a confession’s form.

INT. PHIL’S CAR-NIGHT

Phil calls Valery.

PHIL

Hello Valery?

VALERY

Who is this?

PHIL

It’s Phil Schmidt. I saw how beautiful you are the other day at the grocery store and I want to ask you out on a date.

VALERY

How’d you get my phone number?

PHIL

I knew your mother.

VALERY

How?

PHIL

From college. Would you consider a date with me, please?

VALERY

Can you send a picture?

Phil sends a picture.

VALERY

Okay I guess I could.

Phil smiled evilly. He knew he had her attention.

[David Penn]

Logline: Phillip and Brandy are interrogated for a murder

Essence: Phillip uses Brandy’s desire for status to doom her

EXT. BROADWAY THEATER – NIGHT

Marquee: GIGLI THE MUSICAL

INT. THEATER

The Ben Affleck character (Gigli, a hit man) struts across the stage toward a guy who owes him money. In a plush opera box, PHILLIP (40s), a suave Englishman and his date BRANDY (30s), a brash African-American. Behind them, an older gentleman (J.R., 60s) Phillip’s business partner.

Lights go out in the theater. Total darkness. A gun FIRES. Lights flash back on. Gigli’s killed the guy, lying on the stage. In the opera box, J.R. leans back in his chair… a bullet wound in his forehead. Blood trickles out.

MANAGER’S OFFICE, THEATER – 10 MINUTES LATER

A young, inexperienced NYPD COP (20s) interrogates Phillip and Brandy.

PHILLIP: I appreciate that you’re doing your job- I have the upmost respect for your profession- but surely you don’t believe I had anything to do with this most unfortunate tragedy. (tears well in his eyes). Julius Randolph was my business partner. My mentor. My maître d’école.

COP: Well, all I know is someone shot J.R.

BRANDY: Yo, I can vouch for his ass- for real. He didn’t do shit. And you can quote me on that. Name’s Brandy with a ‘y,’ like the hooch rich folks drink. Not with an ‘i’ like some bougie bitch.

C: Look, you were the only two there and… (to Phillip) I-I know there was bad blood between you and J.R. (proudly) I read the Post.

P: With all due respect, officer, if everyone got arrested for quote unquote ‘bad blood,’ half the country would be in chains.

B: Like us in bed last night (giggles; to cop) Shit got crazy. I wanted to film it, but…

P: She has an insatiable appetite for fame.

B: You ain’t famous, you ain’t shit. Know what I’m sayin’?

C: I-I gotta take someone in. My job’s on the line here.

P: I must warn you of the consequences of your actions, Officer Brown. As I’m sure you’re aware- being the astute reader that you are- I know important people. I assure you, the repercussions will be dire.

B: You can’t take him in. That’s my boo, yo! He’s my partner. My mentor. My (wracks brain to say ‘maître d’école’)… fuck buddy.

P: I’m not implying I’m a perfect person, by any means. Lord knows I’ve committed my share of misdeeds-

B: ‘Specially in bed. Am I right? (cackles)

P: – But first degree murder? That’s preposterous.

C: I’m gonna read you your rights… Uh…

Forgetting the Miranda, he Googles it on his phone.

B: Yo, man, l know for a fact he didn’t do it. Fact, I’d bet my momma’s life on it- and I love my momma.

P: I can vouch for that. I, tsk, unfortunately never developed that kind of relationship with my mum. Probably my fault. As I said, I’m not perfect. But I’m no murderer.

The cop can’t get on the Wifi. Frustrated, he sets down his phone.

C: Look, a big time money guy just bit the bullet. I gotta bring someone in, I mean…

P: And this someone will undoubtedly become famous.

And glimpses Brandy.

B: Whoa- famous? For real? Hey, if it gets me on the front page, cuff away, baby!

She playfully holds out her wrists.

B: My Insta gonna blow up.

C: Ah, thank you!

Grabs his handcuffs and slaps them on her wrists. Problem solved.

B: What the… I was just playin,’ yo.

P: You must understand his profession, dear. It’s incumbent upon him to elicit a suspect.

C: Yes- exactly… whatever you said.

B: Ah, man, this is some bullshit! Do something, boo!

P: Don’t worry, love. I’ll arrange the financial transaction to secure your freedom. (beat) Evening, officer. I have a second act to catch.

Tips hat and strolls out of the room.

B: That’s some fucked up shit right there… that was my bread winner, yo. Think I licked his nasty ass balls for fun?

C: Awright, c’mon. I’m taking you downtown. (blushes) Always wanted to say that.

The cop leads a handcuffed Brandy away.

THEATER.

In his opera box, Phillip watches the second act of Gigli. Checks his business account on his phone: with J.R. gone, all the millions are his. He grins devilishly while on stage, Gigli and the Jennifer Lopez character engage in a weird sex scene. Yeah, the musical’s as shitty as the movie:)

[Brenda Boddy]

Brenda Boddy – Cycle 5

What I learned. The Max Interest questions stimulates our brains to write the scene.

Logline: Phillip protects Brandy from the police but then we realize Brandy set it up.

Essence: Revenge

Character A (Brandy): Status seeking, Entertaining, Needy, Deceptive.

Character B (Phillip): Manipulative, Sense of entitlement, Guilt ridden, Polite.

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM – HOTEL

Gaggles of elegantly dressed men and women chat together, holding drinks, in groups that merge and flow as they visit.

PHILLIP (43), suit stretched to its limits over his paunch, stands with another guest. The two laugh and talk, their eyes following one beautiful woman and then another, making it obvious what they are discussing.

Phillip leaves his companion and meanders across the room to BRANDY (21) strikingly eye catching in her form fitting dress and perfectly made-up face. She stands alone at the bar, sipping a cocktail.

PHILLIP

Enjoying the evening?

BRANDY

Taking a breather. I know this is important to you. I’ll get back out and mingle.

Phillip nods to the gentleman he was just standing with, who watches them, a big grin on his face.

PHILLIP

Ryan really likes you. He asked me if I could introduce him.

BRANDY

You sound like I have a choice.

PHILLIP

Don’t be difficult. You know how nice I can be if things go my way.

BRANDY

Would a present make you feel better if you had to endure what we do?

PHILLIP

I’m sorry. I get it. You were born with a tight ass, and I was born with money. I wouldn’t like it if our roles were reversed, but they aren’t. And right now you aren’t making me any more money, so go play nice with Ryan.

BRANDY

Please don’t make me do this. What if I just walked out that door?

Phillip leans on the bar and sips his drink, his soft smile never breaking.

PHILLIP

Brandy, honey. You don’t want to end up at the bottom of the river. I give you a life of luxury and you make me rich. Now go over there and play nice with Ryan. I expect him to come back and tell me you’re the best fuck he’s ever had.

The door bursts open and a horde of POLICE OFFICERS swarm in. They begin arresting all the women at the party.

OFFICER BARON approaches Brandy and Phillip. They turn Brandy and handcuff her.

OFFICER BARON

You’re under arrest for prostitution.

PHILLIP

Hey, you’ve got the wrong idea here. Brandy is my girlfriend. Tell him, honey.

BRANDY

You heard him. I’m his girl.

Officer Baron turns Phillip and handcuffs him also.

OFFICER BARON

I’m arresting you for kidnapping, prostituting women, and sexual slavery.

PHILLIP

That’s ridiculous. Tell him, Brandy. You’re here with me by choice. Right, baby?

Another officer approaches and Officer Baron pushes Phillip toward him.

OFFICER BARON

Take him to the car and read him his rights. We’ll deal with the women.

Officer Baron waits until Phillip is gone and then leads Brandy out a side door.

INT. SITTING ROOM – CONTINUOUS

OFFICER BARON

Are you okay?

He takes Brandy’s cuffs off. She reaches down her dress and pulls wires out.

BRANDY

I hope you got enough. I want that bastard to fry.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by  Brenda Boddy.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by  Brenda Boddy.

[Brian Walsh]

Lesson 23 Assignment-QE Cycle #5-Write This Scene

LOGLINE: A young woman unwittingly confesses to serious crimes in order to protect the scheming older man who is using her to discredit her father, the governor.

ESSENCE: Phillip’s plan works out perfectly when Brandy confesses to crimes she didn’t commit. He feels guilty, but not guilty enough to take responsibility for his actions.

SCENE ARC: From Phillip looking vulnerable to being revealed as a cowardly, scheming opportunist who will do anything to get ahead.

SCENE:

EXT. LT.-GOVERNOR’S OFFICE – DAY

A police car and an unmarked detective’s car are passed through security.

INT. PRESS SECRETARY’S OFFICE – DAY

PHILLIP PAYNE, 30, reclines. BRANDY WINTERS, 19, sits on his lap. She kisses his face.

BRANDY

Tell me again how much you love me.

PHILLIP

More than a summer breeze on the beach.

More than a cellar full of the world’s most

expensive wines, more than a sky full of the

most distant stars.

Phillip kisses her.

Brandy sighs, content.

The intercom BUZZES.

Phillip activates it.

PHILLIP

What is it, Stephanie?

STEPHANIE (V.O.)

Mr. Payne, there are some police officers out here to see you.

Phillip sits up. Brandy jumps off his lap. He gestures for her to go into the next room.

PHILLIP

Give me just a minute to finish what I’m doing

and then send them in.

STEPHANIE (V.O.)

Yes, sir.

Brandy closes the door behind her from the adjacent room.

A minute later the door opens. STEPHANIE, 25, beautiful, sophisticated, escorts TWO UNIFORMED police officers and TWO MEN in business suits up to his Phillip’s desk.

PHILLIP

Thank you, Stephanie. That will be all.

Stephanie exits and closes the door behind her.

PHILLIP (CONT’D)

What can I do for you gentlemen?

DETECTIVE GUY DANFORTH, 35, and DETECTIVE JULIA THUROW, 30, step forward.

DANFORTH

I’m Detective Danforth, this is Detective Thurow.

Phillip nods.

JULIA

Nice office, Mr. Payne. It suits you.

PHILLIP

Thank you. I’ve paid my dues.

DANFORTH

Where were you last night between the hours of

midnight and five o’clock?

Phillip looks from Julia to Danforth.

PHILLIP

Where was I?

DANFORTH

It’s not a difficult question.

PHILLIP

I was in bed, of course. Reading until about one.

Then I went to sleep.

JULIA

Was anyone with you?

Phillip averts his eyes.

Danforth and Julia exchange a glance.

PHILLIP

What’s this all about?

DANFORTH

Just answer the question, Mr. Payne.

PHILLIP

I’m the press secretary to the lieutenant-governor.

You can’t intimidate me.

(beat)

I’m not answering any more questions until I

know what this is about.

DANFORTH

There was a break-in at the state cultural museum

last night.

JULIA

Several works of art were vandalized. Defaced.

PHILLIP

I don’t sleep in the cultural museum, so I don’t know

what this has to do with me.

DANFORTH

Your vehicle was spotted at the scene. It was noticed

by a patrol car just after eleven. A patrol car responded

to an alarm there at four-forty-four. A newspaper delivery

guy called it in, too. He saw your car flee the scene. Took

down the license plate. Your license plate.

PHILLIP

I’m sure you’re only performing due diligence, but this

is preposterous. The newsboy got the license wrong. It’s

as simple as that.

JULIA

Any objection to us taking a look at your car?

PHILLIP

I guess I’ll have to tell the lieutenant-governor about

this harassment. She adores me, you know. She’ll

want to call your supervisor. Then your supervisor

will explain the facts of life to you.

Julia holds up a search warrant.

JULIA

We’ve got a search warrant for you vehicle, Mr. Payne

PHILLIP

Why would I vandalize works of art?

DANFORTH

Why don’t you tell us? We can make it a whole

lot easier on you.

PHILLIP

What was vandalized?

DANFORTH

The new Pagliaroni Display.

PHILLIP

Ah! Man and Woman Eternal Embrace.

JULIA

You’re familiar with it.

PHILLIP

Governor Winters is familiar with it, too, as I’m

sure you know.

Danforth and Julia exchange another look.

PHILLIP

I don’t happen to be a prude like our governor. I

am a modern man. I think the human body is

a work of art. Why would I vandalize the display?

DANFORTH

I’m afraid you’re going to have to come with us.

PHILLIP

Am I under arrest?

DANFORTH

Since you’re refusing to cooperate and you don’t

have a witness to your whereabouts last night,

we’ll just take you downtown for questioning.

BRANDY (O.S.)

NO!

The door to the adjacent room swings open. Brandy rushes out.

The two uniform cops put their hands on their guns.

Brandy runs to Phillip’s side.

BRANDY

It was me!

JULIA

What was you?

BRANDY

I broke into the museum. I vandalized the

display. I stole Phillip’s car.

DANFORTH

Now why would you do that?

BRANDY

That display is an abomination. It’s an insult

to common decency.

Danforth looks at Julia, shakes his head.

DANFORTH

What is your name, young lady?

BRANDY

Brandy Winters. Governor Winters’ daughter.

DANFORTH

Whoa!

JULIA

Are you sure you know what you’re doing?

BRANDY

I’m not going to allow an innocent man to get

punished for what I did.

DANFORTH

You feel pretty strong about what you did.

BRANDY

You bet I do! And I’m going to be front page

news across the state. It’s high time someone

stood up for decency. This country is going

to hell due to liberal extremists.

Julia nods to one of the uniforms.

JULIA

Read her her rights, Zack.

ZACK steps forward, cuffs Brandy, then reads her rights.

BRANDY

I want a lawyer!

PHILLIP

Brandy, my dear girl. I admire you for taking

responsibility. Knowing how your father has

treated you, I’ll hire you a lawyer myself.

DANFORTH

You’d better hire her the best money can buy.

PHILLIP

I’m not cheap. My lawyer will have this plea

bargained to disorderly conduct with a fine and

community service.

(turns to Brandy)

You won’t serve more than a day in jail.

BRANDY

You two are so totally out of a job! Handcuffing

the governor’s daughter! I hope the press is outside.

JULIA

Brandy Winters, you are under arrest for suspicion

of first degree murder, armed robbery and malicious

destruction of property.

Phillip stands.

DANFORTH

Better call that mouthpiece, Mr. Payne.

Brandy looks at Phillip, her eyes wide.

BRANDY

Phillip! You didn’t –

PHILLIP

Don’t say another word. I’ll have my attorney

meet you at the station.

Zack and the other uniformed police officer take Brandy out.

DANFORTH

Sorry for the inconvenience, Mr. Payne.

JULIA

She’s a little young for you, isn’t she?

PHILLIP

What’s that supposed to mean?

(beat)

Brandy’s not my girlfriend. I was just

helping her learn how things are run.

She had aspirations of running for public

office some day.

DANFORTH

Kiss that good-bye.

PHILLIP

I didn’t mean to be uncooperative, detective.

JULIA

Did you know she took your car?

PHILLIP

(shakes his head)

She did ask to borrow it but I turned

her down. She likes to drink and I didn’t

want to risk her getting into an accident

with my car.

(beat)

My witness. The woman who was with me

all night is my secretary, Stephanie.

DANFORTH

Why didn’t you just tell us?

PHILLIP

The lieutenant-governor. She wouldn’t approve

of me dating my secretary. It could cost me my

job. I trust there’s no need for her to know about

that.

JULIA

I don’t see any reason, provided you cooperate

with our investigation.

PHILLIP

I can’t testify against Brandy.

DANFORTH

You won’t need to do that. Just cooperate. We’ll

do the rest.

Phillip looks down, nods.

DANFORTH

Good day, Mr. Payne.

Danforth and Julia leave.

Phillip sinks down into his chair.

Stephanie walks in, closes the doors behind her, rushes to Phillip’s side.

STEPHANIE

Well?

Phillip nods. Stephanie exults.

STEPHANIE

The little fool really is in love with you.

PHILLIP

I’m not feeling particularly proud of myself.

STEPHANIE

This little scandal is just the beginning. The

governor’s daughter in a sensational murder

trial!

PHILLIP

Phase two will really hit him where it hurts.

There’s nothing like accusations of moral

turpitude to bring down someone who quotes

from the Bible every time he opens his mouth.

Stephanie kisses Phillip’s cheek, then his lips.

STEPHANIE

Don’t feel bad, baby.

PHILLIP

(softly)

A man is dead, Stephanie.

STEPHANIE

Shh! It was self-defense. He came at you.

PHILLIP

Did you really have to kill him?

STEPHANIE

I didn’t mean to hit him that hard.

(beat)

Besides, Governor Winters’ little

princess has been dying for her

fifteen minutes of fame.

PHILLIP

Which might turn out to be fifteen years

in prison.