Lesson 24

[Rita Roberts]

Rita's QE Cycle #5 – Draft 2
What I learned:
-There were more ITs to add for this draft but a decent start with several already there.
-The dad got creepier with the extra Character changes radically.
-If I was going to do another pass I might show Cody's drawing early so we have Superior Position. That would add suspense.

LOGLINE: A child's abusive father sets up the teacher who was trying to help him.
ESSENCE: Phillip inverts everything to keep Brandy and everyone off balance.

SCENE:
INT. ELEMENTARY SCHOOL CLASSROOM – DAY
First graders file out with their parents. A noisy commotion as kids anticipate their release for the day to play outside.

One boy, CODY, (5) lingers by his supply cubby. Quiet, folded in on himself, he moves without enthusiasm.

The teacher, BRANDY (40s) a lanky matron, speaks quietly to an older woman, PRINCIPAL SANDERS, after the room has emptied.

BRANDY
The dad is super polite, doesn't seem like the type at all. I think I'm closer to finding out about the mom. I'll let you know when I get the low-down.

Principal nods, satisfied.

But Brandy can't leave it at that.

BRANDY
You know me, I'll charm the truth out of him.

She raises her eyebrows, pulls her blouse down to expose her bra strap and rolls her shoulder a couple of times. Winks.

Principal just looks at her.

PRINCIPAL
Keep it professional, please.

BRANDY
Of course. In my experience, it helps to lighten the mood.

PRINCIPAL
This is serious.

BRANDY
Don't worry, I've handled these things before. Phillip… Mr Andrews and I have a rapport.

Principal folds her arms.

PRINCIPAL
Be careful, these guys are crafty. In my experience.

Brandy re-adjusts her blouse.

BRANDY
I just want Cody to be okay.

Principal gives her a once over and walks out.

Brandy takes a pack of crayons over to Cody. She pulls up a nearby chair to sit with him.

BRANDY
Would you like to color while we wait for your dad?

Cody sits, obedient, without looking at her. A big, dark bruise shows on his forearm. New stitches zipper above one eyebrow.

CODY
What do you want me to draw?

BRANDY
How about your favorite thing to do with your dad?

Cody finally looks up at her, a mixture of confusion and fear.

BRANDY
Or you mom? Did you get those stitches when you were with her?

Cody's tension releases at the mention of Mom but it goes unnoticed because PHILLIP, his dad, arrives. Suit pants and a loosened tie, respectable office man.

Brandy smiles and stands to greet him.

PHILLIP
Sorry I'm late. Meeting ran long.

BRANDY
Let's talk for a minute.

She pulls him to the far end of the room away from Cody.
PHILLIP

How's the boy? Is there a problem?
BRANDY

We had a great day. But I'm concerned about his injuries.

Phillip rubs his worried forehead, a fine display of empathy.

PHILLIP
I'm trying to get to the bottom of it. He doesn't say much, as I'm sure you've noticed.

Brandy brightens.

BRANDY
No, we're developing a rapport! He gets chatty when he's focused on a creative project. He's a sweet boy.

Phillip's brow furrows. He eyes his son who colors feverishly.

PHILLIP
Chatty? I see. What's he working on?

BRANDY
I asked him to draw what happened when he got those stitches.

Phillip twitches slightly and frowns. His nostrils flare.

PHILLIP
A rapport?

Brandy touches his arm.

BRANDY
I don't mean to be nosy but I take my job very seriously.

Phillip glances at her hand on his arm and leans in to whisper in Brandy's ear.

PHILLIP
How about that dinner we talked about. Maybe this weekend?

He adjusts the collar of her blouse just a bit.

Brandy blushes. Tucks her hair behind her ear.

BRANDY
Well, maybe…

Cody who? She sends a quick look toward the classroom door. Then remembers and recovers her professionalism.

BRANDY
It's worrisome. The bruises bring up questions.

Phillip retreats slightly, mood switches to icy.

PHILLIP
Questions?

BRANDY
I mean the other kids ask him what happened, what's it like to get stitches.

PHILLIP
Oh, and what's he say?

BRANDY
Is it when he's with his mom? She never picks him up so I can't tell how she–

Phillip pulls his phone out. Now distracted.

PHILLIP
I'm so sorry, please forgive me but I need to respond to this.

He dials as he exits the room.

BRANDY
Oh, great, good one, Brandy. Always mention the ex.

She sighs and returns to Cody.

The boy's radar is trained on Phillip. He watches his dad outside the window where he paces, puts his phone in his pocket and peers down the street.

CODY
My dad's coming back.

Indeed, Phillip makes a beeline for the building.

And a police car pulls up at the curb.

Phillip rushes into the classroom as the officers — one burly male and a smaller female cop — slam the cruiser doors and head for the entrance.

PHILLIP
Get your things, Cody.

The boy already stuffs supplies into his little backpack, anticipating his dad's instructions.

Police step into the room and block the door.

BRANDY
Oh! What's… did you find Cody's mom?

Cody's eyes go wide and his spine straightens. He runs to the window to see if she's out there.

MALE COP
We'd like you to come down to the station with us. Just a few questions.

BRANDY
Oh! Listen, Phillip… Mr. Andrews, Cody can stay with me while you–

Cody's enthusiasm expires fast. He makes himself smaller. Steps behind his dad.

PHILLIP
Maybe this is all just a big misunderstanding. Cody, let the officers see that big bruise on your arm.

The woman kneels down to Cody's level to coax him out of hiding. She smiles, friendly although loaded with weapons and a bullet proof vest.

FEMALE COP
Wow, look at those gnarly stitches too. You must like to play on the monkey bars.

Principal returns.

PRINCIPAL
Excuse me, what is–

BRANDY

Well, actually he kind of keeps to himself at recess. We like to do a lot of drawing, don't we Cody?

Cody tucks himself away further, visibly scared.

Female Cop gives her partner a knowing look.

PHILLIP
It's okay, Cody. You can show them.

BRANDY
I can give you all some space. Just shut the door when you're finished.

Male Cop blocks her.

MALE COP
We can give you a ride. Just a few questions.

BRANDY
Wait, me? You want to question me? I don't know Cody's mom. Like I said, his dad picks him up. There might be troubles but I'm just the teacher, I don't know any details.

Cody's eyes go wide. He looks at his dad. He moves closer to Brandy but his dad stops him.
PHILLIP
It's okay, son.

Female Cop takes Brandy's arm.

FEMALE COP
It's better if you cooperate, Ma'am. Bruises and stitches. Not good.

She tilts her head toward Cody.

PRINCIPAL
Brandy.

Just a statement, almost a confirmation.

Brandy pulls her arm away but the cop tightens her grip. They both guide her toward the door.

BRANDY
Phillip, tell them! Principal Sanders, it's total professionalism, I swear!

PHILLIP
Some kind of story about the swing hitting him. Do you know what it's like for a six year old getting a needle threaded through his head?

Phillip's eyes tear up.

Principal Sanders pats his shoulder.

PRINCIPAL
Cody is our primary concern as well.

FEMALE COP
But he spends recess in here drawing with this teacher?

CODY
She's nice!

Phillip leans into the male cop and Principal Sanders.

PHILLIP
She's entertaining, if you know what I mean. He's probably brainwashed.
(gulps back tears)
Grooming him. I can't even think about it.

Male cop, nods. He does know.

Shock and disgust register on the Principal's face.

Brandy's protests echo through the cinderblock hallway as school and civil authorities escort her out.

Cody stands, frozen. Phillip shoves him.

PHILLIP
Get your shit kid.

He turns Cody's drawing around to look at it.

DRAWING: A stick man throws a mug toward a little stick boy who stands in a puddle of spurting tears.

Out the window, the cop shields Brandy's head as she's crammed into the back seat.

Phillip crumples the paper and shoves the drawing into his pocket.

He suddenly squats to hug his son, who flinches but accepts the touch with a grimace.

PHILLIP
I told you I was sorry. I didn't mean to hit you.

CODY
She told me to–

Phillip stands. Watches the police car pull away.

PHILLIP
Now you've gotten your nice teacher in trouble. Way to go, tattle-teller.

He drags Cody toward the door, knocks over child-sized chairs now that all the eyes look elsewhere.

[Mary Albanese]

What I learned: Just when you think your scene can't get better, give it a day or two. Consider examples of great scenes. And you CAN make it better.

BLACK SCREEN

The sounds of frantic panicked breathing mixed with an agonized whimper. A woman, apparently. Frightened to pieces.

Steps approach and echo against a hard floor. A light bounces towards her, from the approaching man’s cell phone.

MAN’S VOICE
Brandy? Is that you?

He aims his phone light at her. Backlit by his phone, PHILLIP appears in his expensive diplomat’s suit.

His phone shines on a woman in a squalid jail cell, her make-up streaked from tears, her fancy ball-gown a rumpled mess. This is BRANDY, somehow gorgeous in spite of her situation.

BRANDY
Oh, Phillip! Thank god you’re here. What’s going on? Why have they put me in this…

She sees from his light that her jail cell wall is streaked with piss… and blood. She SCREAMS.

PHILLIP
Quiet, please, darling! I’m taking a risk just coming here.

BRANDY
You’ve got to get me out!

PHILLIP
I’m trying, my dear. But they think you stole something from a store. And we’re not in London anymore, this is North Korea.

BRANDY
I didn’t steal anything! I did go into a high end shop. You know I love my name brands. But I didn’t take anything. They searched my purse. Tell them to search my hotel room. Please! They’ll find I took nothing! Oh, why did you make me come on this horrible trip?

PHILLIP
It seemed prudent at the time. After my fiasco in Russia, I needed you by my side. You light up every room with your sheer presence. Everything was going so well. You charmed everyone at that diplomatic dinner tonight.

BRANDY
Is that why you married me? To boost your career? This is one shit-hole of a honeymoon. You must get me out!

PHILLIP
I’ve tried. I talked to all the generals. They say Kim Jong Un did laugh at your jokes at dinner. And he seemed to enjoy the dance. He might be generous, even if you were found guilty.

BRANDY
Guilty? Of what? What do they think I took?

He bites his lip.

BRANDY (CONT’D)
WHAT!?! You have to tell me!

PHILLIP
A tube of lipstick.

BRANDY
Me? Steal lipstick? Why would I do that? They don’t even have the good French stuff! Why did they think that?

PHILLIP
They say their cameras showed you were acting suspiceous near the lipstick aisle. I wish you hadn’t embarassed me like this. I can’t have a thing like this on my record.

BRANDY
Your record? Phillip, fix this. That’s what you do, right?

PHILLIP
I have been known to pull strings.

BRANDY
So there’s hope? I mean, if all they think I took was a little tube of lipstick? What would I get? A fine?

PHILLIP
You’d get whatever Kim Jong Un decides.

BRANDY
You mean, how big of a fine?

PHILLIP
More like, how long the sentence could be.

BRANDY
But it could be short?

PHILLIP
Extremely.

BRANDY
Whew! That’s good to hear.

PHILLIP
No, Brandy. An extremely short sentence could mean a speedy… termination.

BRANDY
What!?! My god I’m going to faint.

PHILLIP
I’m trying. I really am. I didn’t realize your charming flamboyance could be so dangerous.

General PARK approaches with two burly armed GUARDS.

PARK
Miss Brandy, we searched your room tonight and we found the lipstick.

BRANDY
Oh, my god!!!!

Brandy swoons.

PARK
No, we found the lipstick in the store. On another shelf.

Brandy fans herself and bats her eyes, a la Marilyn.

BRANDY
Oh, silly me. I must have picked it up and put it down in the wrong spot. It really was lovely. You have such a lovely country here.

PARK
You are free to go. Guards! Open the jail cell door!

BRANDY
My hero! Thank you, boys! You are all so very kind.

The two Guards open the door. Brandy sashays out, flashing the General and the Guards her most dazzling smile. Despite their tough-guy jobs, they blush and smile back.

PARK
And now, Guards, arrest this man!

Phillip looks behind him for the criminal in question. But as the Guards approach him, their eyes as hard as coal, he realizes:

PHILLIP
Me? But I’m here on a diplomatic mission from the President!

The two GUARDS roughly FLING Phillip into the jail. The heavy door clangs shut.

PHILLIP (CONT’D)
What’s the charge?

PARK
Espionage. When we searched Miss Brandy’s room, we found something else. Your laptop, with email messages from you, Mr. Phillip, about wanting to steal our country’s nuclear secrets.

PHILLIP
What? I never wrote any emails like that! Brandy, tell them!

BRANDY
How would I know what kind of business you conduct on your laptop? You never gave me the password to your computer, did you?

PHILLIP
You? Of course not!

BRANDY
You heard that, didn’t you, General Park? That I didn’t have access to his laptop? The truth — I only knew Phillip a short while before he married me and made me accompany him here. I never understood why.

PARK
Ah! I see! Mr. Phillip forced you to come here as a sham. To hide his true intent!

PHILLIP
No! I’ve made plenty of mistakes in my life but I’m no spy.

PARK
Please come this way, Miss Brandy. I’m sure Kim Joon Un would like to apologize personally for this misunderstanding.

BRANDY
Of course. Perhaps the exalted one would like another dance.

PHILLIP
Brandy, you can’t leave me here! The penalty for espionage… What will happen to me?

BRANDY
I know this is very unsettling, Phillip. But don’t you worry. I’ll take care of everything.

She links arms with General Park.

BRANDY (CONT’D)
Trust me, Phillip. Your belongings… and your money… will be quite safe with me.

OFF Phillip’s terrified face.

• This reply was modified 3 weeks, 2 days ago by  Mary Albanese. Reason: re-posted so that it gets the line spacing correct
• This reply was modified 3 weeks, 2 days ago by  Mary Albanese.