Lesson 24

[Stephen Maynard]

Subject line: Stephen Maynard Fillled In Missing Scenes! What I learned doing this assignment is…? I learned that I have a lot of work to do after this class because there are many missing scenes.

Do a quick read of your script to pinpoint possible missing scenes. When you discover one, put a placeholder that you can return to.

For each missing scene, create a quick outline.

Write a high-speed first draft for the most important of those scenes.

Tell us what scenes you added and why.

Mexican Farmer rescues Stevie: This scene is necessary as it
unites Johnny and Stevie after they are separated and sets them on the path to
rescuing Chuey. <div>

BEGINNING: A Farmer
picks up Johnny and takes him to Stevie stranded in the El Camino.

MIDDLE: Farmer pulls El Camino from the ditch.

END: Farmer solves their problem when he tells the
boys he knows where the bad guys are.

EXT. DIRT ROAD – NIGHT

Johnny, and an old MEXICAN FARMER cruse in a thrashed 1948 Ford F1 pickup. Johnny searches the darkness.

JOHNNY

There, it is.

The Farmer speeds up, pulls the Ford over, and positions it tailgate to tailgate with the El Camino stuck in the ditch.

Johnny spots Stevie on the ground, hurries over, and helps him up.

JOHNNY

You all right?

STEVIE

Just get me on my feet.

JOHNNY

You’re on your feet.

Stevie takes a step and wobbles into the Mexican Farmer.

The man guides him to the Ford and motions him toward the open passenger side door.

MEXICAN FARMER

Siéntate, siéntate.

Stevie sits in the Ford.

The Mexican Farmer brings out a chain from behind the seat, hooks up to the El Camino’s rear axle, and pulls the pickup out of the ditch.

Johnny goes and looks in at the window of the El Camino.

JOHNNY

Where’s Chuey?

Stevie gets out of the Ford, staggers over to the El Camino, and looks.

STEVIE

He got in the backpack when I… where’s the money?

JOHNNY

I took the money out of the backpack.

STEVIE

You got the money?

JOHNNY

Yeah, I stuffed it in the baby carrier and jumped.

STEVIE

So they got Chuey.

JOHNNY

Who?

STEVIE

The guys in the black Hummer. We got to find that

Hummer.

MEXICAN FARMER

Señor, I know where is a black Hummer.

JOHNNY

Where?

MEXICAN FARMER

En mi granero, Señor.

Thugs chase Stevie in the El Camino: In this scene, we see the
bumbling Thugs as they dognap Chuey and set themselves up for their reckoning with
their bosses and the boys.

BEGINNING: Stevie at the wheel chased by the Thugs in the Hummer.

MIDDLE: Johnny bales with the money. Chuey hides in the empty backpack.

END: El Camino goes into a ditch, Thugs give Stevie
a beating and abscond with Chuey in the backpack.</div><div>

EXT. RACETRACK PARKING LOT – NIGHT

They head for their ride. Stevie carries Chuey and Johnny with the backpack.

The El Camino exits the lot with Stevie at the wheel.

The Hummer falls in behind an SUV and follows at a distance.

EXT. ROAD – NIGHT

The El Camino speeds.

The Hummer follows behind.

INT. EL CAMINO – SAME

Johnny opens the backpack, takes out bundles, and packs them in the baby carrier.

JOHNNY

Slow as you turn. I’m gonna bale

with the goods.

Stevie

I’ll lose ‘em and come pick you up.

As the pickup turns onto a dirt road, Johnny opens the door and rolls out with the baby carrier.

Stevie reaches for the door and pulls it shut.

STEVIE

We’ll take ‘em on a merry chase, Chuey.

Stevie does some fancy driving, skidding into fast turns and kicking up dust, fishtailing around turns, and a J-turn that takes the El Camino in the opposite direction, throwing the backpack to the floorboard and Cheuy against the door.

STEVIE

Fasten your seat belt, Cheuy

Chuey jumps into the open backpack and ducks his head.

The Hummer looms in the rearview mirror. It accelerates and smashes into the rear of the pickup jolting it into the ditch.

EXT. DIRT ROAD – NIGHT

The three thugs leave the Hummer, go to the pickup, drag Stevie out, throw him to the ground, and kick and stomp him.

SHORT FAT THUG

Get the backpack, Skinny. Let’s get outta here.

PEAKED-LOOKING THUG

Come on, Gut. I didn’t get my licks in.

</div>

[Steve Jones]

Steve Jones missing scenes

This is still just a list of missing scenes and character/story elements but they may be dealt with as additions to existing scenes or as completely new scenes. There are also elements that need to be moved within the script. These include discoveries that the characters make that happen to easily in the first draft.

INT. BUZZARD’S OFFICE – DAY

Harry tries to convince Buzzard that they need to talk to Worple to find out more about SISCO and earthers coming to Worple’s clinic for treatment.

Buzzard doesn’t want Harry to bother the great man. He orders Harry to get his answers from one of Worple’s team.

EXT. WOODLAND NEAR SPACEPORT – DAY

Woodland scene dialogue with Carina to be moved to later.

Scene now becomes:

Harry is saved by Carina who chases after Peep leaving Harry with two bodies this time.

INT. TRACY’S APPARTMENT/WORK/COFFEE SHOP – DAY

Harry and Tracy discuss the case.

Tracy shares the information currently revealed in their first meeting that needs to be discovered later.

Harry starts to gain some understanding as the pieces start to show a picture.

VARIOUS SCENS AROUND THE DOME

Harry investigates further.

Harry crosses paths with Carina.

Harry and Carina meet, fight, find out about each other and tentatively team up.

Harry investigates further.

Harry’s relationship with the robot is tested.

Harry and the robot learn something.

HARRY’S FEAR OF EARTH IS REVEALED

This needs to be built in throughout the story and fully explained in a conflict with Carina.

WORPLE’S MOTIVE

Scene to explain what Worple is actually doing and why.