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Lesson 25
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ASSIGNMENT 25
Subject line: Pat’s Solved Structural Problems
What I learned doing this assignment is re-establishing
my turning points.
Using the Structure Questions above, go to each structure point in your script and ask the question. Make sure you have a real answer.
Act 1:
Opening/Old Ways: Is this an engaging opening scene that lures us into the story? Is the lead character clearly living in a pre-transformation mode? Do the “Old Ways” show up in their behavior and dialogue?
Hank and Carrot Top discuss what his new profession might be. Discussing in his old dialogue.
Inciting Incident: How does this incident invite and propel us into the journey?
Hank’s wife leaves and separates from him after an argument.
Turning Point: How is this Turning Point a twist that locks us into the journey with “no going back?”
Hank thinks got a chance at bringing her back until he receives the divorce papers in the mail.
Act 2:
New Plan: What new plan did the protagonist create to deal with the Act 1 Turning Point?
Hank attends Marriage School to help him get his wife back.
Plan in action: How does the protagonist take action on that plan?
Hank starts school his co students do not like Hank because of his
sarcasm about everything. Hank opens a counseling business without a license.
Midpoint Turning Point: How does the Midpoint change the meaning, creating a reveal that changes everything while keeping us on the same journey? Marriage school is failing no one
Likes him. County official closes his business and gives him a large fine.
Act 3:
React/Rethink: What is revealed to the protagonist from the Midpoint? How do they react or rethink things? With the business closed and a large fine hanging over his head.
New Plan: What new plan did the protagonist create to deal with this new level of conflict?
Hank decides to continue the marriage school to help him get Elaine back.
Invites Elaine to school conference and she turns him down.
Turning Point: The lowest of the low. How has this Turning Point brought the character to the lowest of lows, making it almost impossible for them to win in a normal way? This forces them to adopt the change in a much bigger way.
Hank identifies with hurting his friends at the school tries to do better.
Elaine refuses to take his calls.
Add the best answers to your 4-Act Structure until you feel really good about that structure.
Act 4:
Dilemma: What emotional dilemma requires the protagonist to choose between two alternatives, losing something with either choice?
Elaine begins to take Hank’s call and they reconcile as friends. Hank recognizes
that his love for Elaine is more important than keeping his independence and his use of sarcasm.
Climax/Ultimate @xpression Of The Conflict: How is this the ultimate expression of the conflict? How does it require a “fight to the death,” either literally or symbolically?
Hank and Elaine have a fight and argument at the hotel where they’re getting married. Sending Hank to the hospital.
Resolution: How does this resolution represent the “New Ways” and bring this story to a fitting conclusion?
At the hospital Hank and Elaine apologize to each other.
They remarry and have a happy life.
New Ways: What are the New Ways, and do they clearly show up in your lead character’s Act 4 behavior and dialogue?
Hank vows to be a better person and not criticize her. She vows not to take him so serious.
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Tasha’s Solved Structural Problems
Doing this assignment, I learned: Given honest answers to the question is a great way to see areas to elevate.
1. Bring back your structural beats from Lesson 5.
Act 1:
Opening:
Father Ptolemy exorcises Demon 23 from Bethany. Deacon Anders is too freaked out to help. Bethany’s family disowns her.
Inciting Incident:
Brad shows up unexpectedly at the coffee shop, connects romantically with Bethany while catching up, and asks her out.
Turning Point:
Brad tells Bethany he can’t date her. She is physically assaulted by Demon 23 and vows to end the torment both on the demon level and on the heartbreak level.
Act 2:
New Plan:
The old way would be for Bethany to seek Deacon Anders’s guidance. Instead, she decides to figure things out on her own.
Plan in Action:
She tells the foster kids she has to say goodbye for a while to protect them.
She tries contacting Brad without success and gets advice from Amy to look up her other exes and find out why they didn’t pursue a relationship with her.
She finds an old suitor who shows her the video he received of her exorcism. It scared him off. He doesn’t know who sent it to him, but he tells her where she could find more answers.
She finds a support group of guys who dated her. They all received the video. They all don’t know who sent it, but they have a theory they share with her.
Midpoint Turning Point:
Bethany pays a visit to the parents that disowned her and asks if they’ve been sending videos of her exorcism to people. Her father says they didn’t record such a horrible event. Deacon Anders did.
Act 3:
React/Rethink
At the coffee shop, Amy tells Bethany she knows a guy who might be able to help her spiritually. She also has a way to see if Deacon Anders is sending videos of her exorcism.
New plan:
Bethany works with Koju and his team of spiritual practitioners to learn the skills she needs to fight Demon 23 and possibly Deacon Anders.
Bethany projects messages of love to the foster kids and to Brad.
After Bethany masters the light side of spirituality, Amy gives her a book about the dark arts so she can at least have an understanding of the other side. Demon 23 creates paranormal activity that seems to support Amy’s assessment.
Bethany masters some of the spells in the book including revealing what demons are in the area and what their names are so she can banish them.
She summons Demon 23 at the Spiritual center so she can reveal his name and banish him, but he has a warning for her about Deacon Anders. Before he can tell her, he vanishes. Koju tells her to telepathically reach out to Deacon Anders and see if she can figure out what Demon 23 was trying to warn her about. She sees a huge pentagram in Deacon Anders room.
Turning Point
Bethany and Koju break into Deacon Anders’ chambers and find evidence of the pentagram. Deacon Anders conjures Demon 23 to possess Koju and he has Koju knock Bethany out.
Act 4:
Dilemma
Bethany learns that Deacon Anders plans to kill Bethany and use Demon 23 to possess the Bishop. Demon 23 tells her that she might be able to defeat Deacon Anders but she has to trust Demon 23 and join forces with him–this is the demon that said he was going to tear her apart in the Opening.
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict
Deacon Anders summons a bunch of demons to possess his congregation, including the visiting Bishop and the foster kids, so he can livestream a mass exorcism to the Vatican and demonstrate his power. Bethany and Demon 23 project a Protection Spell and a Reveal Spell to the congregation and demons start being expelled. Deacon Anders tries to kill Bethany but Demon 23 possesses him and almost makes Deacon Anders kill himself, but Bethany stops him. She shows Demon 23 true love, thanks him, says his name and sends him on his way.
Resolution
Deacon Anders is defrocked by the Pope.
Bethany tells Amy she will replace her book. Amy asks if she’s going to date Koju now, but then Brad shows up.
Brad tells Bethany he’s sorry. He tells her he’s seeing someone but he will always be there as a friend. He thanks her for the message she sent him and encourages her to find love.
Bethany reunites with the foster kids who now know all her secrets. They aren’t afraid. Some want to move in with her. They all love her.
Bethany frees a guy from a demonic attachment so he can have a good date and she joins up with Koju for their date. They kiss.
2. Using the Structure Questions above, go to each structure point in your script and ask the question. Make sure you have a real answer.
Act 1:
Opening/Old Ways: Is this an engaging opening scene that lures us into the story? Is the lead character clearly living in a pre-transformation mode? Do the “Old Ways” show up in their behavior and dialogue?
ANSWER:
Yes the opening is engaging because Bethany is in a fight for her very soul. We see her innocence and we see the ravages of the demon. The high stakes lure the audience into the story because they will want to see what happens to Bethany who is in peril.
Weak? No. The ultimate battle of good and evil/life and death is handed to the audience right at the beginning.
Confusing? No. You understand right away the stakes.
Vague? No.
Does it deliver well on that Beat? Yes. It definitely gets your attention and gets you asking what’s going to happen.
Yes, the lead is living in the pre-transformational mode. She does display spiritual strength but she has a long way to go if she’s going to take on her inner and outer demons. If she didn’t have father Ptolemy there, she would have perished.
Weak? No, the concept is solid and interesting. I don’t recall seeing a person participate in their own exorcism the way Bethany does by trying to read the bible and saying her new age mantra (even though she doesn’t know it’s new age)
Confusing? [BRAINSTORM ALERT] It could be a little confusing. What triggers Bethany saying the light prayer? How does she know to say it? How do we know that she would die without Father Ptolemy’s help? This last point definitely needs to be established.
Vague? She’s possessed, so clearly she’s at the pre-transformational starting point–no where else to go but up.
Does it deliver well on that Beat?
Almost does. It shows that she can’t save herself on her own yet. But that needs to be heightened by establishing that it will mean death if she’s not saved.
Yes, the old ways show up in behavior and dialogue. Bethany’s father says no one will love her. Her own family rejects her. This is the beginning of Bethany having to overcome the fear that she isn’t lovable. Deacon Anders commits himself to making up for his failure and he says he will watch Bethany. Not watch over her, but watch her.
Weak? No. Again, don’t remember a movie where the possessed child was rejected by her family afterwards and it is hard hitting.
Confusing? Nothing confusing about Bethany’s father saying he will kill her if the priest doesn’t take her.
Vague? It’s a little vague as to what Deacon Anders means by watching her and that’s done on purpose. The audience is meant to think he’s going to keep an eye on her for her welfare, not that he is going to watch her like a hawk because he fears her.
Does it deliver well on that Beat?
Yes. It establishes the old ways that will inform the first part of Bethany’s story.
Inciting Incident: How does this incident invite and propel us into the journey?
ANSWER: We’ve seen Bethany struggle with love and her fear that she is unlovable. Then a potential match finds her. He is actively trying to pursue her which is out of the ordinary for her and offers promise. Their connection is romantic and charming and it looks like this is one of the best prospects for love she’s had in a long time. We want to see how it turns out. We want to see if she can finally find love with this guy. She feels the same because she fights for approval to go on the date. We want her to defy Deacon Anders and date Brad.
Weak? No. Bethany receives a call to love. Up until this point, Bethany has been doing all the calling without anything to show for it. She most definitely wants to accept this call from Brad.
Confusing? No. We know why it happens. Brad has always thought about her and as luck would have it, she’s on the dating site he uses.
Vague? [BRAINSTORM ALERT] Maybe. How do we know this situation is not typical? Maybe this happens with every meetcute she has and then the date is what’s the disaster. So it needs to be established that this is special and unusual–she doesn’t get pursued an she doesn’t have meetcutes.
Does it deliver well on that Beat?
It is definitely the incident that incites the rest of the story.
Turning Point: How is this Turning Point a twist that locks us into the journey with “no going back?”
ANSWER: Bethany realizes her problems with dating are greater than just a string of bad luck and bad dates. Her problems are supernatural. She realizes that her passive approach does not work. She realizes that Deacon Anders has not been helping. She knows she has a huge task ahead of her, but her vow to end the supernatural activity and to find out why her love life is doomed to fail locks her in. She’s going to do what it takes even if that might mean turning her back on Deacon Anders.
Weak? No. Bethany now has a specific cause for her failing love life. It’s supernatural, but Bethany can now try to figure out how to resolve it. This takes her journey in a new direction.
Confusing? It might not be completely understood that Brad is scared to go on the date because of the supernatural stuff. Perhaps Brad could make that link more evident.
Vague? No. Brad ditches her on the date and a demon assaults her. Who wouldn’t vow to stop those things from happening?
Does it deliver well on that Beat? Bethany can no longer stand by and accept that she has bad luck. She has identified the problem and she wants to solve it. The pursuit of the solution will take the story in a new direction.
Act 2:
New Plan: What new plan did the protagonist create to deal with the Act 1 Turning Point?
ANSWER: She usually seeks guidance from Deacon Anders and tries to follow his advice to solve her problems, but this time she knows that if she wants results, she has to figure things out on her own. She is starting to realize that any involvement from Deacon Anders’s will just stop her from moving forward and solving her problem.
Weak?[BRAINSTORM ALERT] Maybe. Why doesn’t she seek Deacon Anders advice? Especially regarding demonic stuff. Need to establish that Deacon Anders has threatened something that makes her not consult him.
Confusing? No. She stays away from the church and pursues her own answers.
Vague? No, she progresses from wanting to talk to Brad to talking to a bunch of her exes and having confirmation that her supernatural past scared them off. Then she makes the discovery that someone is exposing her past.
Does it deliver well on that Beat?
Yes, Deacon Anders’s guidance is the old way. Taking matters into her hands is the new way.
Plan in action: How does the protagonist take action on that plan?
ANSWER: She decides to stop going to church so she can stay away from Deacon Anders. She tells her foster kids she won’t be coming by so that she can keep them safe from whatever is happening to her that might be supernatural. She uses Amy as a sounding board. She finds her old suitors and asks them why they stopped dating her to see if she can pinpoint what went wrong. She actively takes matters into her own hands. She’s no longer passive.
Weak? No. And the discovery of what’s at play mounts with each action she takes.
Confusing? No. Her ex suitors are scared because they know she was possessed by a demon when she was a teenager.
Vague? No. We see the specifics from Brad’s profile being off limits to watching the video in the costco breakroom to the support group.
Does it deliver well on that Beat?
Yes. She is definitely pursuing new ways/tactics. And she’s making new discoveries along the way. She’s getting somewhere. She’s going deeper into her journey.
Midpoint Turning Point: How does the Midpoint change the meaning, creating a reveal that changes everything while keeping us on the same journey?
ANSWER: After talking to her exes, she agrees that her family is a rather obvious explanation for who has been sending the video. Otherwise she wouldn’t do the hard thing and go to them for answers. They gave her up and however painful it will be to see them, Bethany goes. But then she finds out it might be Deacon Anders who did it. She still needs to get to the bottom of everything and figure out how to stop Demon 23 and how to fix her love life, but now she has to see what role Deacon Anders plays in this whole thing–the man she trusted more than anyone could be her biggest betrayer.
Weak? No way. Having to face her father while he’s holding a shotgun is not weak. Also it’s great because the thing she wants, confirmation that her family is behind everything, yields an even more devastating revelation.
Confusing? No. She expected one answer and she got another. And we now know who the original owner of the video is. [BRAINSTORM ALERT – Should she question if he lost the video?]
Vague? No. She has more pieces of the puzzle.
Does it deliver well on that Beat? Yes. Her journey is still the same, but the meaning is different. It’s now about betrayal.
Act 3:
React/Rethink: What is revealed to the protagonist from the Midpoint? How do they react or rethink things?
ANSWER: It is revealed to Bethany that Deacon Anders might be sending out the video and trying to destroy her love life. And he may be the one responsible for Demon 23 being back in her life as well. Bethany needs spiritual guidance, but she knows she has to seek it from someone other than Deacon Anders. That’s why she pursues Amy’s recommendation to meet with her spiritual practitioner friend and agrees to set a trap to prove Deacon Anders is sending the video. She has to rethink who she trusts and replace her spiritual mentor.
Weak? The part about the trap is vague. How does it prove Deacon Anders is the one sending the tape? [BRAINSTORM ALERT – Figure out a better reasoning for why this is helpful]
Confusing? Also, the conversation between Deacon Anders. It feels like it should serve something specific for the story here. Like it could be connected to Amy’s plan to trap him, but not sure how to make this more effective without the protag/antag showing their cards.
Vague? Maybe? Why does Amy suggest the trap? What is her logic?
Does it deliver well on that Beat?
Yes. She’s definitely looking at Deacon Anders differently and she doesn’t trust him. She’s going to seek spiritual guidance from another source.
New Plan: What new plan did the protagonist create to deal with this new level of conflict?
ANSWER: She turns to metaphysical and new age teachings. She also looks into aspects of the occult. She trusts and bonds with a new team that teaches her new ways to foster and strengthen her spirituality and spiritual power. They really want her to succeed. She also is open to listening to other perspectives of the spiritual and the supernatural. Hence why she uses Amy’s book to practice spells.
Weak? No. I think it ramps up and we can see Bethany cultivate her spiritual strength.
Confusing? No. They are helping her. She has a natural talent and she does have a supernatural attachment. For the first time, Koju and team get to see someone who is powerful optimize their spiritual teachings.
Vague? No. We see the different techniques used by are on Bethany for each thing she learns.
Does it deliver well on that Beat?
Yes. She’s doing what she needs to take on Demon 23 by learning how to interact with Demon 23 in a spiritual capacity.
Turning Point: The lowest of the low. How has this Turning Point brought the character to the lowest of lows, making it almost impossible for them to win in a normal way? This forces them to adopt the change in a much bigger way.
ANSWER: Bethany learns that she’s not just up against a priest who thinks her dating life is a bad idea, but one who is actively practicing the dark arts and using a Demon she has a bad history with to destroy her life. And in her haste she doesn’t stop to make the space safe like Bob taught her. Deacon Anders is able to get the upper hand. He commands Demon 23 to possess poor Koju and he paralyzes and knocks Bethany out. She is now at his mercy. Bethany will have to make a huge change if she’s going to get out of this one– finding the strength to trust her greatest tormentor, Demon 23.
Weak? No. Deacon Anders has just gone from video sender to practitioner of black magic. He’s also confirmed that he controls Demon 23.
Confusing? No.
Vague? Maybe. [BRAINSTORM ALERT Demon 23 could knock her out without possessing Koju but Deacon Anders kinda wants to stick it to her]
Does it deliver well on that Beat?
Yep. Koju is possessed. Bethany and Koju are at Deacon Anders’s mercy.
Act 4:
Dilemma: What emotional dilemma requires the protagonist to choose between two alternatives, losing something with either choice?
ANSWER: Bethany has to give into Demon 23 – something she’s terrified of doing. He’s her greatest abuser and she never planned on ever acknowledging him because she didn’t want to give him power. It was a point of pride for her to hate him. But now she is being asked to join forces with him. If not, she has to take on Deacon Anders by herself when he’s at the height of his power. He’s already got her at a disadvantage and he added her loved ones to the mix by inviting the foster kids to the event, which could result in their own possession nightmare.
Weak? No. Join forces with a Demon that could possess your soul or take on a powerful dark priest who plans to possess his entire congregation and kill you without any help.
Confusing? No. She’s between a rock and a hard place.
Vague? Maybe a little in theory but hopefully the execution will make it clear.
Does it deliver well on that Beat? Yep. She’s stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Climax/Ultimate Expression Of The Conflict: How is this the ultimate expression of the conflict? How does it require a “fight to the death,” either literally or symbolically?
ANSWER: It is the ultimate expression of the conflict because not only does Bethany have to try and stop Deacon Anders from basically extorting the Church using Black Magic, she has to clean up his mess when things get out of hand by combining force with her greatest tormentor and use her spiritual power to block multiple possessions from happening. And while she’s distracted doing that, Deacon Anders literally tries to kill her because he ultimately believes it’s his God-given mission to protect the world from Bethany. Demon 23 takes on the physical fight of stopping Deacon Anders while Bethany seeks to restore peace via her spiritual power.
Weak? No. Deacon Anders’s grand scheme is pretty spectacular. Lots of stuff going on but it shows the conflict. Deacon Anders wants to stop Bethany from engaging with evil, but Bethany has to do so to stop Deacon Anders from quite literally killing her.
Confusing? No. I think Bethany’s spiritual abilities and her command of the spells has been established well. So it’s not out of left field what she ends up doing.
Vague? Maybe. [BRAINSTORM ALERT] How is Demon 23 amplifying her power? How is he manifesting the protection spell and helping reveal the demons?
Does it deliver well on that Beat? Yes. Deacon Anders thought she was evil and tried to stop her, but because she’s spiritually good, she uses the evil that Deacon Anders conjures to stop him.
Resolution: How does this resolution represent the “New Ways” and bring this story to a fitting conclusion?
ANSWER: Deacon Anders is kicked out of the Catholic church and he loved being part of the church. Bethany accepts that she is worthy of love. She also provides her spiritual services to those in need. She doesn’t have to hide who she is in her relationships.
Weak? Yes. I think Deacon Anders isn’t punished enough. Also, I might want to revisit the idea that Bethany provides counseling for parents of formerly possessed children.
Confusing? [BRAINSTORM ALERT Defrocking is such a strange punishment cinematically. Might need to have him actually stripped of his robes and like kicked out.]
Vague? No
Does it deliver well on that Beat?
Decent. Need to elevate Deacon Anders’ fate and bring Bethany full circle on her journey with helping the youths. There are new ways in play for sure, but maybe needs to be more satisfying.
New Ways: What are the New Ways and do they clearly show up in your lead character’s Act 4 behavior and dialogue?
ANSWER: The new ways are that 1) Bethany doesn’t have to hide her past from her relationships anymore, 2) Bethany has new friends who look out for her and tell her she’s worthy of love (Amy, Brad), 3) Bethany knows that her Foster Kids love her no matter what (resumes volunteering w them) 4) She believes in her spiritual power and uses it confidently to help others (helps Robby) 5) She is ready to be loved by a man who appreciates a strong woman and won’t run away (date w Koju).
Weak? No. [Brainstorm Alert]
It’s pretty good but there are some payoffs that would be cool to see. Confusing? No.
Vague? No.
Does it deliver well on that Beat? Yes. She is practicing the new ways. Does she go to church with a new priest?
3. For any of the answers that feel weak or confusing or vague or that don’t deliver well on that beat, brainstorm stronger answers.
Brainstormed Changes
Opening
Father Ptolemy could say he’s not enough and can tell Deacon Anders to stow his fear and join them because together they can save Bethany otherwise they are going to lose her. That makes Bethany’s struggle to say the prayer more meaningful, in her weakened state, she is still able to provide the second energy that will save her.
Opening and throughout: Bethany should struggle with the idea that she’s unlovable. She can speak to it a few times, but this fear needs to always be present.
Inciting Incident:
She could kiss him and say no one should have to wait 12 years for a good kiss.
When she fights with Deacon Anders about the date, she can mention that this type of thing never happens to her. The Deacon could point out that she dates all the time and she can say she’s never had a meet cute. Usually it’s just some guy online going, hey you’re cute, wanna get a drink. Or she messages them and they finally get back to her. No one actively seeks her out. No one ever buys her coffee. No one has ever told her that her kiss ruined them for other kisses.
ACT 1 TP
She should be more heart broken about Brad ditching her. To show her disappointment, she can ask if Brad is maybe still there in hopes that he didn’t just leave. The message to stay away should hurt her. One of the men escorting her out could touch her shoulder and she could wince from the pain. Maybe she makes the vow to the Maitre’d and he could say whatever you have to do to fix your life but please don’t do it here a minute longer. Get out.
Brad needs to react to the fork and he needs to say something about it not happening again. Or he can’t afford another attack from a flying fork and shows her several stab marks from a fork. He needs to say he’s sorry for what happened to her but he can’t have another fork stab him. Then reveals his stomach, side.
ACT 2 New Plan
Need to establish during their fight that Deacon Anders’s tells her if Brad gets hurt from demonic activity during their date, then the Deacon is going to do something like send her to a convent or something – stop her in some way and this makes her not want to seek out his help. Maybe he says he’ll have her saying the rosary for a week. She could realize he doesn’t offer any real help and maybe she could say as much in the heat of the argument. Also when she watches him outside the church, she can maybe reiterate the “rosary for a week” statement.
Or maybe he just straight up says he’ll find a way to stop her from endangering the next one.
MP TP
Why doesn’t she give Deacon Anders the benefit of the doubt and ask him if he had the tape and lost it or had it stolen. That’s what she’s doing in the rectory. She was going to talk to him. Maybe that’s what she mentions to Hazel. She was going to ask him about home videos or something vague. Or instead of talking to Hazel she can tell Amy that she was going to ask him in the rectory and left. He needs to address this in their conversation at the cafe.
ACT 3 TP
When Deacon Anders has Demon 23 possess Koju just to stick it to Bethany, he can actuallyremind her that he said he would stop her if she kept dating and risking guys being harmed by Deamon 23.
Crisis
Is he framing just like her or is he in between her framed hands. Maybe it’s like a battery. If doing any of these spells knocks Bethany out then maybe Demon 23 is the power she needs to sustain the spell and push it even further. He takes it into the soul like he brought Koju into Bethany’s soul/safe space. So she should say: I have them framed, send it into their souls or just scream into their souls!
Resolution
Deacon Anders needs a better comeuppance. So he should be stripped of god robes and kicked out. Go forth in peace and they literally push him out. Her say he needs his passport and they can say everything you have we own so sorry. Or they can tell him to wait and they’ll get his passport and then the cops come to take him back to the states for attempted murder charges.
Or he’s in prison already and he’s called in to ask if her wants to be the prison chaplain and then it could turn out to be a prank and they could say they know he’s been defrocked and they can call him a Satanist.
It would be great if Bethany counseled parents of recently possessed children to not be scared and soleil and the others come to the group home to work with the kids on a volunteer level. Or Bethany brings them to the center to learn from the group.
Resolution – New Ways
Could use that balance of Bethany working with previously possessed children. And introducing her kids to her spiritual team.
Also when she clears that kid at dinner, she should give him the card of the spiritual center and tell him he’s going to need it for later or maintenance and she works with mothers to help them by cursing their children.
Consider making Demon 23 possess Brad so he can try to be with Bethany. But then Brad’s gf comes and Bethany sends him on his way.
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