Lesson 25

[Michael Montiel]

***WHT I learned from this assignment was that it was the hardest thing one so far! my draft is not complete so it was hard to correct turning points/beats that i don’t understand yet. I did a few corrections to act one, but I need to write it out completely one time even though i don’t have the science or fully understand the transformational beats.

LESSON 25: DRAFT 2: SOLVING STRUCTURE PROBLEMS:

ACT ONE:

1.[OPENING SCENE: PROLOGUE: SPANISH ATTACK MAYAN TEMPLE, DESTROY SACRED KNOWLEDGE OF COSMOS,OF LINKS TO EXTRA-TERRESTRIALS]

!!!As sword of conquistador comes down slicing aztec priest, CLOSE ON rocker Robert jams on his electric guitar!

*Opening: Robert is at celebration party! He is being celebrated for his triumph/recent publication/discovery who’s been awarded research position at start-up space travel agency in California making huge money. He’s happy, but he feels he’s selling out. Sarah tells him he must take risks! his paper linking Mayan texts with his astronomy thesis makes sense! He must present it!

old ways: brings leftover cake to his ex-wife’s house, she chews him out for overpromising but underdelivering! daughter shows him love and support!

He drives north under an ocean of STARS.

A.1: *inciting incident: Robert gets motivated to present his latest paper on [MAYAN CALENDAR, RECENTLY DISCOVERED SACRED TEXTS] time travel and communicating with extra-terrestrial life once he gets it published in the Astronomical Journal.

[ROBERT CREATES HUGE QUAREL AT CONFERENCE: DIFFERENT SCINETISTS TAKE DIFFERENT SIDES WITH OTHER SCIENTISTS.

*Turning point: At the end of lecture, US military general Portman takes the ANGRY Robert back to his place. He explains to him that he liked his plausible presentation and would he like to come work in secret government facility.

Robert agrees, and when he’s at the facility, he encounters the very same Dr. Rosinski who was heckling him the previous day. What is goin on here?

Dr. Rosinski confesses that he had to shut him up as Robert was indeed on to something and should not expose this new discovery with the public. Dr. Rosinski bring him on to work for secret government space agency and introduce him to secret super quantum computer that can do trillions of calculations in seconds ! Never before has there been a tool for previous astronomers to help them. Robert was born for this. Finally, he’s ready to take action to do what he was born to do!

[HUGE FIGHT ENSUES HERE: ROBERT WINS CONTROL OF LEADING THE RESEARCH TEAM] ROBERT IS LOCKED INTO THE JOURNEY!—

ACT TWO:

New plan: Robert and Peter work together at first combining new quantum computing and images for the James Webb Satellite Telescope to achieve their goals. They are put on waiting list to discuss time to reserve on telescope as it is “rented” by several other agencies around the world.

[this “rented use of time needs to be explained.” BEGINNING: ROBERT confronts Rosinski, tells him what a jerk he is.

MIDDLE: ROSINSKI explains to him why he had to “shut him up”; Rosinski tells Auggie not to get it “Twisted”; no matter what the government told him, private money is behind this quest and that he—rosinski- will be in charge.

END: Auggie defies authority, they have a fight which gets physical(Rosinski tells him he couldn’t hold on TO his wife and now his girlfriend; makes government quote dig), the general stops the fight, they settle it by arm-wrestling. Auggie wins the arm wrestling competition. He will be in charge of the Project: Blending quantum computing with astronomy in their search for life in outer space.

General Portman escalates problem of borrowing the satellite in outer space by going straight to the “liberal” democratic President to influence him to convince NASA to give full time priority for one month to Dr. Robert Amador and his new research team.

Plan in Action: the President of the USA authorizes full use of James Webb telescope to Robert’s team; in return, Robert must share his new discoveries with the new administration and Department of Education and other Scientists in the USA. Robert agrees. General Portman begrudgingly agrees.

Mid-Point Turning Point: General Portman re-assigns Robert to the project; he insists Robert is the right man for the job and not his mentor Dr. Rosinski. General has confrontation with Dr. Rosinski as he has been demoted. The Satellite is now connected to the James Webb telescope! Images of outer space come in ! We’ve never seen anything like it. We get a lecture for Dr. Robert about what’s happening and what are “tactic” will be and what direction to aim Satellite. Robert and Peter have a big fight! Robert agrees to let Peter point the satellite in the direction he wants. At first images and computer start making correct calculations and the previous images that have downloaded overwhelm the computer: An explosion and fire follow. The computer physically melts! It’s too much power/information for it to handle. Robert is blamed for melt down. The President screams at General Portman for letting a young Professor take charge of such a large responsibility. Robert is blamed for accidental meltdown and humiliated by the President. Roberts demise is seen on television , the newspapers. His family sees how he “ruined his one chance” at fame and respect. THE PROJECT IS SHUTDOWN ON ORDERS OF THE PRESIDENT.

ACT THREE

Rethink Everything: Dr. Rosinski consoles Robert. He reprimands him in an underhanded way and blames him for the disaster. Robert agrees that should the project get a second chance that he, meaning Dr. Rosinski will be in charge. He also tells our Protagonist Robert that he will look for outside resources to help fund the project and repair the damage to quantum computer.

New Plan: To his surprise, Robert sees his colleague, which got promoted at the beginning of the story, will now be working directly under Peter. Robert has now been demoted behind Sarah and Peter. This is horrible. He’s now practically an intern again with a stipend. They go back to the drawing board to fix and launch their project with private finding unbeknownst to the President. (here i don’t know what to do with general portman–perhaps he’s been forced out of the loop as it’s no longer a government /department of defense project.).

Turning Point: Huge Failure/Major Shift: Robert notices that there are errors in the calculations! The new team leaders: (Peter/Sarah) have argument/ major conflict with Robert. He is escorted off property. He returns to his family. His daughter talks to him. He has new insight: Yes, he now knows the correct way to move the satellite and what information to look for intelligent life: he doesn’t need quantum computational computing when he can have fellow citizens, astronomy enthusiasts, and crowdfunding to help him build his own computer. He runs to tell Sarah, to not sell out–to not let this vital information into the hands of the private sector for profit. Sarah tells him to fuck off! She chooses profit over science! She and peter will not share what they’ve learned from aliens nor what they will learn from them in the future. They’ve even considered sharing knowledge of Aliens with Russians for profit. Secret “Russian” and “Private” goons are now after robert, to keep him from blabbing to General Portman about their diabolical plan: which includes destruction of most of humanity and repopulation on other worlds. Robert is almost killed, but makes it out alive and gets to General Portman (his new mentor?) to lead new project to outsmart Rosinski’s evil ambitions.

ACT FOUR

CLIMAX/ULTIMATE EXPRESSION OF THE CONFLICT:

Robert’s daughter has recruited astronomers and other enthusiasts to volunteer their cell phones/ iPhones / computers to and AI computers in other universities: They will hack the James Webb Telescope and collectively networking and sharing with their computers, they will download images from outer space and messages from beings in outer space. Images are downloaded and shared all over the world: Times Square, Piccadilly Circus Billboards, in Tokyo and and other great cities of the world: The extra-terrestrials are directly communicating with the human race! They assume Dr. Robert Amador is the leader of this species on this planet: they want to speak directly with him! let messages in somewhat sloppy grammar come in: “people if earth: we than you and you’re leader Robert Amador: by now we assume your language has progressed to a Subject-Verb-Object language for post of humanity!” the secret is that collective you can work together! that you must maximize the energy potential of your planet, sun, and solar system : little by little you will begin to colonize your galaxy and the rest of space !”

Cameras/ Reporters reach roberts home! FBI/CIA agents descend on robert’s home. his daughter is with him! she is proud of him! but they take him away! He is in government basement, but wait ! it’s the evil Dr. Rosinski again! he has used false agents to take him away! his life is in danger! They are going to kill him if he doesn’t share what else he has learned from aliens and how he did it!

Resolution: General Portman comes to the rescue ! He’s accompanied by real US MILITARY department of defense: he re-connects to “alien” feed ! : from Aliens: “Learn from us, if you’re getting this message, you are now in a dangerous position to destroy yourselves and civilization; you have under 200 years to fix your planet and make it green, in this way your species buys two million years of time or 200 generations ; with this added time, you will colonize the rest of space ; for now we say goodbye as we’ve already crossed the event horizon and have moved beyond actual reachability and visibility; what you’ve seen are the lights of our star system just reaching you now. goodbye forever!”

With that said, Robert is invited to the White House, the President apologizes to him! he is awarded medal of honor for his discovery and for his valor. Robert is a certified hero: NO LONGER A SPINELESS AIMLESS LOSER OF A PROFESSOR, BUT SAVIOR OF THE WORLD! HE is seen on tv around the world ! he picks up his daughter and hugs her:

Robert is at Haydn Planetarium in NYC: He is a celebrated Astronomer and he has his dream job: learning and and educating young minds about astronomy/biology/anthropology/ linguistics etc.

. . .he looks up at the stars once more . . .Robert tears up. . .

[mark.napier2022@gmail.com napier]

SUBJECT: Mark Napier’s Solved Structural Problems

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First….I apologize for the delay in response. I had a friend involved in a serious car accident and I have been dealing with him, his recovery and legal and medical followup for the last 8 days so it tossed a wrench into the works here for me. I just had too many distractions going on to focus on this class. At least I got the bulk out of the way.

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What I learned: I see this exercise as a checks and balance to ensuring the storyline is ontrack and flowing. Scene Gaps, story flow and assessing effectiveness of dialog are consistently addressed and reinforce or contribute to the logline and transformational journey.

ACT 1:

Opening/Old Ways: Is this an engaging opening scene that lures us into the story? Is the lead character clearly living in a pre-transformation mode? Do the “Old Ways” show up in their behavior and dialogue?

–My lead character is indeed forced into a situation by following orders and not questioning leadership’s reasoning or when evidence is presented to the contrary he makes not initial effort to speak up as he is not incharge. It’s until later when he is incharge that he takes the bull by the horn and makes a judgment call.

Inciting Incident: How does this incident invite and propel us into the journey?

–The protagonist learns that a poorly conducted investigation by senior CIA officials who heard and believed only one side of a story over a misdemeanor turns into a felony case revealing child pornography is downloaded on two CIA Top Secret computers by (as it turns out) a repeat offender and is compelled to take action to set the record straight and hold the right person accountable.

Turning Point: How is this Turning Point a twist that locks us into the journey with “no going back?”

–Once the protagonist writes a damning cable back to CIA Headquarters that makes CIA Iraq Station look foolish he knows he has lit a fuse to a powder keg at the Station he is supporting. A hostile work environment already exists because he is covering for mistakes his home office is making and making the protagonist the ‘whipping boy.’ He knows once the antagonist arrives back in country that all Hell will break loose and the protagonist decides to leave country than go through further retaliations. The protagonist was originally suppose to serve a one year tour in Iraq, but cuts it short by 9 months, which adds to Station’s officials being pissed off.

Act 2:

New Plan: What new plan did the protagonist create to deal with the Act 1 Turning Point?

–The protagonist covers his ass to make sure investigators back at CIA Headquarters are fully aware of the circumstances and hostilities that were taking place and he anticipates retaliation by Iraq Station. As a result, the protagonist is never question, investigated, charged, nor prosecuted by the Agency in the four additional years that he serves the CIA. The protagonist basically ignores any attempt of retaliation, because he knows the investigation is not being pursued against him and that his own home office is backing him up and that he has a powerful senior official on the CIA Director’s staff that appreciates his efforts. The protagonist is then assigned and promoted in stature to become the Deputy Chief of Base of Bagram Air Base, Afghanistan.

Plan in action: How does the protagonist take action on that plan?

–The protagonist basically using his old ways of ignoring a threat than engaging it head on. The protagonist has a history of standing up for others to defend, but not himself. The protagonist basically focuses on his mission and accomplishes a great deal and has many successes.

Midpoint Turning Point: How does the Midpoint change the meaning, creating a reveal that changes everything while keeping us on the same journey?

–The protagonist’s old ways of avoiding conflict comes back to bite him in the ass. All the successes and accomplishments he has made suddenly takes a major twist when he crosses path with the antagonist who picks up where he left off in creating a hostile work environment and disrupts all the efforts the protagonist has achieved leading to him being Blacklisted from the CIA.

Act 3:

React/Rethink: What is revealed to the protagonist from the Midpoint? How do they react or rethink things?

–The protagonist realizes after about a month that his new home office is not deploying him and in fact has been misleading him to believe he would be deployed. He learns in fact that he is being Blacklisted. The protagonist begins to become assertive and engage the CIA in conflict, but is suddenly struck down by an illness his believes is a recurring illness he has suffered from twice before. Once the protagonist recovers from his illness he decides to return to active duty for his Army Reserve unit, but learns he has HIV via an ass chewing over the phone that traumatizes and leaves him in severe depression, triggers PTSD and results in him being suicidal.

New Plan: What new plan did the protagonist create to deal with this new level of conflict?

–In desperation, the protagonist tries to seek employment elsewhere following the Great Recession of 2009, but cannot find work.

Turning Point: The lowest of the low. How has this Turning Point brought the character to the lowest of lows, making it almost impossible for them to win in a normal way? This forces them to adopt the change in a much bigger way.

–The protagonist loses everything and is forced into the streets to be chronically homeless for 5 years. As he is hitting the streets the Internal Revenue Service takes his last $600 he has in the bank and leaves him penniless. The once accomplished protagonist who held a Top Secret clearance with lifestyle polygraph and special background investigation cannot even find work at McDonalds and becomes suicidal, but because he is accompanied into the streets with his dog, is forced to take on the profession of being a strip dancer at Gay bars to survive and feed himself, but more importantly his baby who never casts the stone of malice or judges him.

Act 4:

Dilemma: What emotional dilemma requires the protagonist to choose between two alternatives, losing something with either choice?

–The protagonist becomes an abandonment of self in self-worth and self-esteem. He is not just bankrupted financially, but physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally as he joins the ranks of the walking dead with 675,000 others at that time who become homeless. The protagonist will make 4 attempts to commit suicide and engage in drugs his 4th year on the streets to escape the Hell of reality he is in. After the protagonist’s dog is accidentally exposed to the smoke from crystal meth and left in distress, the protagonist is heartbroken with the harm he has exposed to his baby and decides to change environments and regroup to pull himself off the streets.

Climax/Ultimate @xpression Of The Conflict: How is this the ultimate expression of the conflict? How does it require a “fight to the death,” either literally or symbolically?

–After getting off the streets and regrouping mentally from his ordeal over a period of 7 years, the protagonist decides to run for US Congress and manages to indirectly embarrass the CIA for not prosecuting child porn incidents. The protagonist sheds light on the CIA through press releases and bombards over 90 members of Congress and 13 committees that compels the CIA to take action. The protagonist also exposes all who not only ignored, but is able to full court press the antagonist in prominent news and social media via new found wealth as a result of a commercial traffic accident that the protagonist was the victim of. The protagonist also arranges for protesters who are paid homeless people to stage protests at the CIA entrance and at the antagonist’s home to shed light on their wrongdoings and a call to action to investigate the antagonist’s involvement and CIA in the massacre that killed 3,000 prisoners of war.

Resolution: How does this resolution represent the “New Ways” and bring this story to a fitting conclusion?

–The injustice against the protagonist that forces him to become an abandonment of self is compelled through perseverance and fortitude to conduct an aggressive PSYOP campaign that enables him to restore himself and his honor that was taken from him.

New Ways: What are the New Ways and do they clearly show up in your lead character’s Act 4 behavior and dialogue?

–The protagonist is assertive, gambles than play it safe and ignores the judicial/ legal avenues to pursue his own version of street justice to publicly humiliate and destroy his adversary who loses the clients he serves in an advisory role capacity from the negative campaign that bleeds over to them (the clients) that ultimately causes the antagonist to suffer a stroke that kills him in the end.

[Caitlin Stryker]

What I learned doing this assignment was how the structure had morphed as I wrote the first draft. I still have areas I want to beef up the conflict and make the structure sturdier but I need to keep moving forward for now. I’m loving that this element of rewriting has me seeing the multiple ways the story can shift.

THE STRUCTURE QUESTIONS

Act 1:

Opening/Old Ways: Is this an engaging opening scene that lures us into the story? Is the lead character clearly living in a pre-transformation mode? Do the “Old Ways” show up in their behavior and dialogue?

Inciting Incident: How does this incident invite and propel us into the journey?

Turning Point: How is this Turning Poing a twist that locks us into the journey with “no going back?”

Act 1:

• Opening: Carla reading Sam his bedtime story “Where the Wild Things Are”; steps on toys on the way out. Has a call with Mark who is away for work.

• Inciting Incident: Carla crying in bed at 3am totally stuck and depressed. Carla hears a voice which turns out to be, Harriet, say “Get it together” and looks around spooked feeling crazy then pulls the covers up over her head.

• Turning Point: Bumping into Harriet on Abbott Kinney coming out of Blue Bottle. Making this stronger… what if Carla does ruin Harriet’s shirt with her coffee spill? And Harriet needs a new shirt asap to wear but she fixes by turning her shirt around and making it look cool and says Carla owes her a night out tonight like they dreamed of when they were younger always wanting to be adults.

Act 2:

New Plan: What new plan did the protagonist create to deal with the Act 1 Turning Point?

Plan in action: How does the protagonist take action on that plan?

Midpoint Turning Point: How does the Midpoint change the meaning, creating a reveal that changes everything while keeping us on the same journey?

Act 2:

• New plan: Carla finds a sitter and meets Harriet out at the Bar for dancing.

• Plan in action: Carla is out on the town at the bar with Harriet. She wants to leave. She bumps into her old boss Jennica from The Agency. Jennica buys Carla a couple shots and then Carla winds up enjoying herself on the dance floor with Harriet.

• Midpoint Turning Point: Harriet comes over for dinner. Mark can’t see Harriet and this causes much confusion. Carla covers by making it seem like she was just feeling super insecure that Harriet didn’t show. Carla confronts Harriet and finds out that Harriet is imaginary. Technically, Harriet is Carla’s childhood imaginary friend.

Act 3:

React/Rethink: What is revealed to the protagonist from the Midpoint? How do they react or rethink things?

New Plan: What new plan did the protagonist create to deal with this new level of conflict?

Turning Point: The lowest of the low. How has this Turning Point brought the character to the lowest of lows, making it almost impossible for them to win in a normal way? This forces them to adopt the change in a much bigger way.

Act 3:

• Rethink everything: Carla asks Harriet why she left in middle school. Carla wonders if she’s crazy, but decides she is not and that Harriet is her superpower.

• New plan: Use me to help you get unstuck. Everyone needs help and I can help you build your business and yourself.

• Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: Viral video of things too wild out on the town and Carla looking crazy talking to herself and winding up in the drunk tank. Harriet reveals to Carla that she wishes she were real and how lucky Carla is to be human.

• Outside of the police station, after bailing her out, Mark shows Carla the viral video of her dancing on the bar top, making out with the bartender, appearing to be talking to herself and then falling off the bar accidentally flashing her boobs on the way down. He asks her what is wrong with her. Carla confesses to having an imaginary friend, Harriet, telling Mark that she’s nuts and he should get together with the woman he cheated on her with. So now Carla’s marriage is really on the rocks not only because in this act she discovered Mark is cheating on her but she has really unravelled.

Act 4:

Dilemma: What emotional dilemma requires the protagonist to choose between two alternatives, losing something with either choice?

Climax/Ultimate @xpression Of The Conflict: How is this the ultimate expression of the conflict? How does it require a “fight to the death,” either literally or symbolically?

Resolution: How does this resolution represent the “New Ways” and bring this story to a fitting conclusion?

New Ways: What are the New Ways and do they clearly show up in your lead character’s Act 4 behavior and dialogue?

Act 4:

• Dilemma: Carla has to choose between holding on to Harriet or letting her go. Between trying to fix her marriage or not. She likes how she feels about herself so much better with Harriet in her life, but it is crazy to have an imaginary friend as an adult. She loves Mark but can they rescue their marriage or is it over between them? Is she diminishing herself by staying with Mark?

• Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Mark books an emergency therapy session after bailing Carla out of the drunk tank and their subsequent fight. At the emergency therapy session the therapist suggests Carla be medicated or put into an inpatient treatment facility. Mark actually considers both options. Carla is appalled and chooses to embrace Harriet as a part of herself. She knows she is not truly crazy.

• Resolution: Carla is honest with the Moms about everything that has been going on with her and that she has an imaginary friend. The Moms reveal that they had at one point in their lives and imaginary friend and that they could still use that help. Everyone realizes, especially Mark, that Harriet is an important part of Carla. This represents the new ways because Carla is not hiding who she is, she is embracing her “freak flag”.