Lesson 26

[Kevin Ash]

LESSON TWENTY—SIX

Kevin’s Solved Character Problems!

What I learned doing this lesson is that even though I thought the characters were pretty well defined, there were still significant things I needed to fix!

D. Characters Not in Action. Even though I have a lot of action in the film, there were still scenes where Gordon and Batman with Robin and sometimes Ali were stagnant and adding some action in those more toned down moments made it richer. Not action like fighting, but just things people do besides talk while they have conversations.

F. All the characters seem the same. Although they all have character traits and things about them which make them unique, the dialogue, particularly of minor characters all had the same or a very similar voice. They needed some separation in speech pattern and tone. I think that really improved the script.

[Chris Dorsey]

Chris Dorsey’s Solved Character Problems!

What I learned doing this assignment is to put the Protagonist and Antagonist through the potential problems listed in the lesson. Specifically, I made sure I had stronger character introductions – I took out and added scenes – and made sure that neither Protagonist or Antagonist were too likable or not likable enough.

[Lonnie Nichols]

Lonnie’s solved character problems.

What I learned from this assignment:

Here are the character issues and “fixes/embelishments” I made:

Chuck and Jeffrey are too much alike.

The fix: Jeff is much more liberal in dress and politics. Chuck has a weight problem, extremely religious and a right-winger.

Karen: I did not describe her enough and she’s a key actor (not main)

Fix: Developed her free spirit, enthusiasm for life, her physical description.

Terry Norman (suspicious photographer/FBI undercover) a bit too vague:

Fix: more descriptions of his physical appearance, his behaviors

[Tita Beal Anntares]

Tita Solved Character Problems… well, not yet (26)

What I learned from this assignment:

– Whether I transpose this filmscript as a stage play or not, I still need to stop listening to my characters’ talk and set up situations where they are not discussing what they want to do and arguing about it cognitively but pushing each other to do something the other person doesn’t want to do in more active, emotional, kinesthetic ways.

– That I have to feel passionate about the protag, not just choose one who would theoretically make an interesting story (a story from the point of view of a well-meaning royal governor in American colonies in the few years before 1776)… so I may rethink the story from the point of view of the character who resonates in me for a similar story – the patriot leader who kicked off the spirit of independence but goes mad and had to be carted out of Boston in a strait jacket before 1776, mentally torn between his love of

o ORDER in Parliament/King, the only nation in the world to let Lords and Commoners vote for reps so the only nation with liberty (and his Tory wife) , and

o FREEDOM for all people that Sam Adams is giving to even the poorest of the poor (and his love of living free of Puritan restrictions)

—

I have many more detailed notes on my script but the highlights, hoping no one reads this mess but posting forces me to do the assignment:

A. WEAK PROTAGONIST OR ANTAGONIST

· Protagonist: Often, the reason the hero might be weak is because you were focusing too much on making them likable. Or you may be worried to take a risk with this character. If so, give yourself permission to take them outside the box a bit. Try making them intriguing or causing them to struggle more. Give them something stronger to fight against. Get us engaged in some other emotion than just liking the character.

Antagonist: This character is there to force the protagonist to change. Make them a big expression of the protagonist’s fear, wound, or main issue in life. Make them intriguing, but more important, they should constantly force the protagonist into difficult situations.

[REVISION NOTES:

· NEED TO REWRITE INTRO OF PROTAG IN FIRST SCENE TO BE MORE DYNAMIC/ACTION TO SAVE ROBINSON FROM MOB

· NEED TO MAKE INTRO OF SAM MORE ACTIVE AS MANIPULATING MOB TO PRAISE HANCOCK

B. PROTAGONIST TOO GOOD OR ANTAGONIST TOO BAD

c Problem: If either character is on the absolute extreme, it reduces or kills relatability. It also may make the character seem improbable. [REV NOTE: ANTAG IS SO CRAFT HE MAY SEEM TOO GOOD]

c Solution: Give those characters some balancing parts. Even though Hannibal Lecter is a psychopath, he has taste and is helping Clarice. You can make your Protagonist relatable and liked, while still giving them some bad habits, internal struggles, and even have them do the wrong thing…on the way to making their change.

c On the other side, your Antagonist may be coming from hate and doing terrible things. But to be believed, they likely have a reason they’re doing all of that and may think they are totally in the right. Or they have an internal issue that they can’t control which is pushing them to do bad things. Either way, consider adding irony (good people doing bad things; bad people doing good things) to your lead characters to make them more interesting.

C. WEAK CHARACTER INTROS

Introduction? For your lead character introduction scenes, the most important thing is to create a scene situation that has this lead character stand out.

c “What scene situation will introduce something unique and surprising about this character?”Either the scene challenges them in a big way or it shows off something important about them. Whatever you do, make this THEIR scene!

[REVISION NOTE: Need to make protag do something more dynamic that is both interesting and related to character and theme. And make intro to antag more manipulative when getting gangs to win over rich Hancock]

Also, check the intro to make sure it includes the following:

c – Have them living in the Old Ways.

c – Put the character in action.

c – Give them interesting dialogue.

c – Challenge them in some way.

c – Consider creating distress to cause us to feel empathy.

c – Their reaction gives us an insight into who they are.

D. CHARACTERS NOT IN ACTION

If you have a lot of talking heads scenes (two characters just talking to each other), then any of those scenes are an opportunity to build in action.

c What is the meaning of their dialogue?

c Knowing the meaning, how can it be delivered through action?

o If they feel like failures, have them make a physical mistake.

o If the angry, have them break something.

o If they hate something, have them attack it. You’ll be surprised how often the meaning can be turned into action.

BTW, there is a difference between busy work — like walking or taking sips of coffee — versus meaningful action. If possible, use action that delivers the deeper meaning.

E. PROTAGONIST JOURNEY NOT STRONG

The protagonist is the character we go on the journey with and it is important that their journey is engaging. Consider these thoughts – to what extent does protag:

c They start with Old Ways and end up with New Ways. [GET A BALANCE BTW SAME GOAL – KEEP UNITED WITH FREE BEST NATION BUT SHOW TRANSITION FROM TELL TO LISTEN TO FAIL BUT PROUD]

c They are forced to confront a major fear or wound. [MAKE HIS FEAR CLEARER EARLIER]

c Their Old Ways are constantly challenged. [CLARIFY OLD WAYS BETTER[

c Their journey is a real obstacle course.[REV: MAP OUT IN CLEARER LINE TO GOAL]

c They have a clear goal for the journey.

c The Antagonist makes their life Hell!

[REV NOTES – CLARIFY ALL OF THE ABOVE]

F. ALL THE CHARACTERS SEEM THE SAME

c If all of your characters talk the same or act the same, then the job is to clarify what makes them unique in their character profiles.

c Once you have interesting profiles, you have the character express that uniqueness in the scenes. Pull out their character profiles and take these simple actions.

c For dialogue: With every line, ask, “How might this line deliver some part of this profile?”

c For action: With each action, ask, “How could this character take this action in their own unique way, based upon their profile?”

[REV NOTE: DO THIS AFTER I CHANGE CONTENT OF SOME SCENES]

G. LEAD CHARACTERS NOT PRESENT

c Do a quick skim of your script. With each scene, check to see which of your lead characters show up. Ninety percent or more of your scenes should have one or more lead characters.

c If you have a lot of scenes that don’t include your lead characters, consider giving some of those scenes to your leads.

c Focus on the lead character’s journey instead of the other characters. Shorten any subplots that don’t include one of the leads.

[REV NOTE: EITHER NEED TO SWAP PROTAG WITH ANOTHER CHARACTER OR BUILD A MUCH MORE DYNAMIC . MORE ACTIVE AND CLEARER GOAL FOR H AS PROTAG

[Rita Roberts]

Rita’s Solved Character Problems!

What I learned:

• There were some pretty simple improvements to character introductions, a few words to define a character which differentiates them from the others.
• Going through only one character’s dialog at a time helps highlight where they are sounding in ways which aren’t specific to their personality.
• There was already a fair bit of brief action interspersed to enhance longer dialog sections.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>A. WEAK PROTAGONIST OR ANTAGONIST

Still looking at potential for making these characters stronger while keeping them as regular, flawed humans in their dysfunctional ways.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>E. PROTAGONIST JOURNEY NOT STRONG

I refined the main character’s speech to be more proper in the beginning, evolving to become more loose and honest at the end. Also included more suggestions for why her background led her to go on this journey, which didn’t take anything lengthy, just a few tweaks in a couple of scenes.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>F. ALL THE CHARACTERS SEEM THE SAME

Found some ways to include hints of personality/background for 4 members of a painting crew both in action and dialog. The characters are similar in their blue collar positions and experiences within the scenes but distinctly individual in their personality.