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Lesson 26
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Alfred Dunham’s Cycle 6 – First Draft
LOGLINE: Carley’s new love interest, Marcus, is hellbent on freeing her from a fate worse than death.
ESSENCE: Selfless love
SCENE:
INT. BEACHFRONT CAFÉ – DAY
MARCUS DUNN, M.D., (68) is a semi-retired surgeon who has lost his wife to cancer. He is at war with himself for all the regrettable choices he’s made in life, and now she’s gone. He feels an obligation to Carley and has grown to love her.
CARLEY REGIS [her American name], (49) has made a sham marriage arrangement to get to America with her daughter, and now she’s stuck and is in danger.
Carley and Marcus sit in one of the café booths and argue. Both of their worlds are in disarray. Marcus is determined to fix them, but Carley has her doubts.
There’s a knock at the café door.
SARAH REGIS, (18), Carley’s equally endangered daughter, desperately wants to go to Law School but cannot. Not understanding the situation, she’s been hard on Carley.
SARAH
I’ll get it, Mom.
Sarah rushes to the door.
IAN (BUBBA) MACK, (55), Carley’s former boss and sham husband, is now in prison for stabbing Marcus.
SARAH
Mister Kroger? Ian’s attorney? I’m Sarah Regis. My mom and Doctor Dunn are down here —
She leads Mister Kroger to the café booth occupied by Marcus and Carley.
Carley scoots over to make room for Mister Kroger.
Mister Kroger slides in with his familiar satchel —
MISTER KROGER
How are you doing, Doctor?
MARCUS
Better. Just happy to be alive —
Gestures to both Carley and Sarah.
MISTER KROGER
Well, good news and bad. Ian has refused all your offers.
MARCUS
That doesn’t make sense.
MISTER KROGER
No, it doesn’t. He’s facing twenty-five years for stabbing you.
MARCUS
But he still wants this place shut down?
MISTER KROGER
Seems so.
MARCUS
Why is this place so sacred to him?
MISTER KROGER
That’s the puzzle.
MARCUS
I want you to see something – you decide —
(to Sarah)
Can you show Mister Kroger that bolted down the backroom door?
SARAH
Certainly.
Sarah leads Mister Kroger into and through the kitchen.
LATER
Mister Kroger and Sarah return.
MISTER KROGER
That’s bizarre.
MARCUS
It certainly is. He has Carley terrified of even going near it. She’d do almost anything to keep us away.
Mister Kroger looks at Carley, but she looks away, stifling the urge to cry. Puts on her determined, tough-girl face.
MARCUS
See? It’s how he’s controlled her.
SARAH
Mom? I’m sorry. I didn’t know.
CARLEY
It’s okay. As long as you’re safe.
MARCUS
What’s he hiding in there?
MISTER KROGER
Ian no longer owns this place. The bank has already foreclosed on him.
MARCUS
Could they use a buyer?
MISTER KROGER
I think so.
MARCUS
Let me call the bank.
Sarah brings Marcus a phone.
Marcus dials —
INTERCUT — TELEPHONE CONVERSATION
MARCUS
This is Doctor Marcus Dunn —
BANK RECEPTION
Hi, Marcus. What can we do for you?
MARCUS
I’d like to speak to someone about the Beachfront Café account.
BANK RECEPTION
One moment while I connect you with Mister Black.
(PAUSE)
MISTER BLACK
Hi, Doc. In what way are you interested in that café?
MARCUS
I’d like to acquire the property.
MISTER BLACK
What on earth for? Are you sure?
MARCUS
I have my reasons. Can I assume the loan, or —
MISTER BLACK
We’d prefer a purchase.
MARCUS
Even better. Just transfer the funds from my savings.
MISTER BLACK
Done.
MARCUS
I’ll be in to sign the papers in an hour or two.
MISTER BLACK
Good. See you then.
END OF TELEPHONE CONVERSATION
MARCUS
(to Mister Kroger)
Get the F-B-I down here, and open that room.
MISTER KROGER
With Pleasure.
LATER
Marcus has returned from the bank, papers in hand, along with Mister Kroger and the F-B-I.
MARCUS
I own this place now, so break the damned backroom door down.
BACKROOM HALLWAY
The room’s door is a madman’s idea of security.
The F-B-I makes short work of breaking the door open.
The room is empty. A cursory search reveals nothing.
F-B-I AGENT
We’ll get an inspection team down here immediately. This is just an obvious distraction. Whatever he’s hiding has got to be big, and it’s here.
DINING AREA
MISTER KROGER
There is also good news, you know.
MARCUS
Like –?
MISTER KROGER
Ian’s marriage sham has been annulled.
Tears flow —
MARCUS
Carley?
CARLEY
Of course, I will. I love you more than ever. I’m sorry for ever doubting you.
Marcus and Carley almost violently embrace each other and kiss.
Sarah cries with laughter.
MISTER KROGER
If the F-B-I finds what I think they will, I’, sure Immigration will drop the whole matter.
Carley hugs Mister Kroger.
Mister Kroger seems dumbfounded – smiles.
MISTER KROGER
I’m going to leave the rest of this in the hands of the investigation team. They will contact me directly.
End of Scene
SITUATION: Person A and Person B are fighting until they realize they were meant to be together.
SCENE ARC: From two people fighting to them kissing.
CARLEY
Traits:
Tough
Caring
Polite
Distracting / Evasive
Subtext:
Carley is evasive when cornered and often distracts to avoid a trap.
MARCUS
Traits:
Strategic [= tactical, calculated, premeditated, considered, intentional]
Commanding
Imaginative
Apologetic
Subtext:
Marcus is a strategic guy who likes setting people up to lose.
1. STRUCTURAL
A. Suspense.
Possibility: What’s behind the locked door?
We know something of consequence is going to happen, and it is being withheld, thus causing us to wonder, worry, and want to know how it will play out.
B. Major twist.
Possibility: Ian has refused a plea deal. Why?
A sudden change in direction causes the characters to have to deal with new circumstances and their consequences.
Possibility:
Create (or identify) a predictable pattern, then shock us with an unexpected occurrence. This is easily done in a Setup / Surprise pattern.
D. Put in a More Interesting Setting
Possibility: A shabby seafront diner.
Brainstorm possible settings that could elevate the interest level. You’re looking for settings that would put the characters or their goals in jeopardy or add to the drama.
E. Mislead / Reveal.
Possibility: Marcus seems unhappy with Ian’s incarceration, but builds on it to make it permanent.
Knowing what you want to reveal, take us in the wrong direction, then solve it with the reveal.
F. Superior Position / Dramatic Irony
Possibility:
We know something that the characters don’t know, and it is even more powerful if the part they don’t know causes them to go in the opposite direction they should.
G. Uncertainty — hope / fear
Possibility: Cycles through the scene. What is Ian hiding?
Alternate hope and fear by revealing details that make the goal appear likely, then unlikely.
H. Intrigue
Possibility: What is Ian hiding? What is his power over Carley?
Give clues that there are secrets that affect the other characters. Do this in a way that implies that one or more characters are being underhanded or scheming against the others.
I. Mystery
Possibility: The empty room just made the mystery greater
In any unknown situation, there are three corners — What happened, Who did it, and How it happened. The mystery gives us one or two of the corners and demands we discover the missing corners.
We know what happened, but we’re obsessed with finding out who did it and/or how it was done.
J. Cliffhanger
Possibility: Has Ian been engaging in espionage or something?
A startling conclusion with a major hook. Who shot J.R.?
K. Dilemma
Possibility: Ian’s decision to stay in prison.
Two choices where the person will lose something no matter which they take.
L. Something unseen
Possibility: Who is pulling Ian’s strings?
Something or someone is causing or affecting this situation, and we don’t see it.
2. CHARACTER
A. Character changes radically.
Possibility: Ian is not just an impossible man; he’s in over his head.
We thought they were one person; then they turn out to be another. This could be a literal change or just a change of their position on the conflict.
B. Betrayal.
Possibility: Ian would rather rot in jail than free Raisa.
A character who is trusted turns against the main character.
C. Dilemma
Possibility: Ian: death in prison vs. death on the street.
Two choices where the person will lose something no matter which they take.
D. Uncomfortable Moment
Possibility: Marcus and Carley quarrel.
One or more characters are placed in an awkward or embarrassing situation.
E. Misinterpretation
Possibility: Once Marcus understands the danger Carley and Sarah are in, he goes full bore to expose Ian, despite his good-guy face.
An important part is perceived incorrectly, causing one person to act/react in an opposite way of the actual situation.
3. DIALOGUE
A. Hook
Possibility: Where is the evidence? Marcus is relentless.
Something unique, strange, compelling, or unusual happens that makes us even more curious.
B. Predictions
Possibility: Marcus promises himself to Carley.
A declaration about a specific thing happening in the future.
C. Creating a Future
Possibility: A real family unit?
Things happening in the present are causing us to see a potential set of consequences in the future of the script.
D. Anticipatory Dialogue
Possibility: The nightmare will end.
Things said cause us to wonder, worry, or look forward to an event in the future. These could be threats, warnings, predictions, fears, questions, etc. — all pointing to the future.
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<font face=”Courier Screenplay, monospace”><font size=”3″>LOGLINE: A computer quietly reroutes a spaceship, containing an estranged husband and wife, on a one-way trip into the unknown.</font></font>
<font face=”Courier Screenplay, monospace”><font size=”3″>ESSENCE: Confronted with the big stuff we’ve more in common than not.</font></font>
<font face=”Courier Screenplay, monospace”><font size=”3″>
</font></font>INT. SPACECRAFT
MARCUS
So…that’s on my…mark!
CARLEY
Away buoys one…two…three…and four.
MARCUS
Confirm away four. So that’s that for now. Now do you want to tell me what the hell you’re doing on my mission.
CARLEY
Your mission? Your mission my arse.
MARCUS
I’m the Captain of this vessel and I want to know what the hell my ex-wife is doing onboard. Where’s Gerry? And what the hell did we just drop overboard?
CARLEY
And that’s answers both questions nicely. Gerry’s not here because he’s not cleared for this mission and you’re only here because I need someone to drive this
MARCUS
What mission? To drop off some deep-space buoys? Hardly
CARLEY
We’re done here. Take me home.
MARCUS
Take you home. That’s the first good news I’ve heard on this trip. Boosters…engage fifteen seconds…fire on my mark…One, two, three…mark!
We see a computer VDU setting booster timing from fifteen to fouty-eight seconds.
CARLEY
Engaged…and firing fifteen…ten…five…cut
MARCUS
Cut! Cut! What the hell do
CURLEY
It won’t respond! I’m
MARCUS
Cut the bloody booster.
CURLEY
I can’t! They’re still firing! They’ve stopped
MARCUS
What have you done?
CURLEY
They wouldn’t respond I…forty-eight seconds. What the
MARCUS
(on radio)
Hello Deep One-six, deep one-six
Throws radio to desk.
MARCUS
No response. Nada.
(looks at navigation desk)
Deep space. Look at our heading.
CURLEY
Christ we’re travelling like a bat out of hell into
MARCUS
Nothing…there’s nothing
CURLEY
I’m not so sure. There seems to be a gravitational anomaly out there.
MARCUS
There’s nothing out there
Looks at scan
MARCUS (cont’d)
or there shouldn’t be. We’ve got to correct our course
CURLY
Another fourteen seconds should spin us around and get us heading back
MARCUS
Boosters…on my one, two, three…mark!
We see the Computer screen overriding the command.
CARLEY
Fired…no they’re not firing I can’t
MARCUS
Christ. Let me! Mark! Nothing…it’s like it’s not wired up.
CARLEY
Don’t you check this shit before
MARCUS
Of course we bloody check it. Booster control is fail-safe It can’t
CARLEY
Apparently it can.
MARCUS
It only went wrong when you came on board. What’s going on here. What’s
CURLEY
Do you think I’d sabotage your bloody boosters and then get on this shit-heap! Are you
MARCUS
What happened to Gerry? One minute he’s on the manifesto and next
CURLEY
Never mind all that. How are you going to get us back Captain?
MARCUS
The computer isn’t responding to any off my commands. It’s like
CURLEY
We’re getting pulled by a local gravity field to something. But it’s
MARCUS
A Black Hole, a star? There’s nothing
CARLEY
That’s what puzzles me. If it was a gravity source we’d be accelerating towards it.
MARCUS
Don’t be silly we
CARLEY
Look at the Nav screen. We’re moving fast but not accelerating.
MARCUS
Right command decision here. Abandon ship!
CARLEY
I agree.The Computer screen disables the lifeboat control access.
MARCUS
You agree! For once in your bloody life would…the diagnostic panel’s not responding.
CARLEY
For what?
Marcus enters the lifeboat
MARCUS
The lifeboat…the control panel is dead!
CURLEY
Lifeboat panel shows operational. But no response
MARCUS
It must be the bloody computer. It’s like it’s
CARLEY
So what do we do now?
Marcus re-enters the main cockpit.
MARCUS
Well we can either wait for rescue…but we haven’t been able to send a distress signal or
CARLEY
Or?
MARCUS
Normally we’d hop in the lifeboat and tell it to take us home.
CARLEY
Tell me there’s another “or”.
MARCUS
Or…well…we could…vent the onboard oxygen cylinders. They’re manually operated so the computer isn’t
CURLEY
Like boosters
MARCUS
Exactly
CARLEY
But how much oxygen would that leave us with?
MARCUS
None in the cabin but we can use the lifeboats onboard supply in here and we’ll have plenty to get us back. So
Marcus hammers the controls
MARCUS
No! No! It’s venting
CARLEY
What?
MARCUS
The lifeboat! No! Stop! It’s all gone. The computer vented the lot overboard.
Carley slumps down to the floor and leans against a wall.
CARLEY
What about the cabin?
MARCUS
No. All regular here. But the lifeboat’s useless to us now and we can’t use the main oxygen supply to act as a booster. Look
CARLEY
What?
MARCUS
The computer log. It’s done this deliberately every step of the way. There it overrode your booster command, and here it vented the lifeboat oxygen. It’s like it wants us to go to that…anomaly.
CARLEY
Don’t beMarcus slumps on to the floor beside Carley. He puts his arm around her.
MARCUS
So why was Gerry swapped out…for a routine buoy survey
CARLEY
I don’t
MARCUS
And a shit-hot deep-space surveyor put on board?
CARLEY
We’re slowing down.MARCUS
Don’t be silly. Look we’re not firing any retro-boosters.CARLEY
Well if we’re not slowing ourselves down then
(nods towards anomaly)
that is.Marcus gives Carley a peck on the cheek.
CARLEY
Do you do that to all your crew-mates?MARCUS
Not so much with Gerry. -
Beth Zurkowski lesson 26 cycle 6
logline: Carley and Marcus fight about death and then kiss and make up.
essence.never give up on love.
INT. MOUNTAIN CAVE -NIGHT
MARCUS (30) and CARLEY (25) are plundering artifacts and books. They are using flash lights to see and have camped in a tent indoors. Marcus hears a voice coming from a floating orb.
MARCUS
The orb is mine.
He wraps his arms around it.
ORB
Let me out!
Only Marcus can hear the voice.
MARCUS
Did you hear that, Carley?
CARLEY
No, I don’t hear anything.
ORB
Let me out!
MARCUS
That…did you hear that?
CARLEY
No, are you okay?
MARCUS
Yes I’m fine.
Marcus stabs the orb to get out what’s inside.
CARLEY
What’s gotten into you, Marcus?
ORB
Let me out!
A huge head of a woman stuck her head out of the Orb and she grew 20 feet. Causing a bookcase of heavy tomes to fall on Carley’s head killing him instantly.
MARCUS
Who the fuck are you? You just killed my friend, Carley.
NECROMANCER
I’m Areen. You freed me from my doom. I will let you have my power to bring to life or to death as you see fit.
MARCUS
I want to bring back Carley.
NECROMANCER
As you wish. Then I must go. Just touch his body and he will come back to life.
Marcus went to Carley’s body and with his touch he came awake.
CARLEY
What happened?
Necromancer left the cave leaving a gaping hole in the side of the mountain.
MARCUS
You were dead and now you are alive.
CARLEY
But it was better to be dead. I was in paradise, thank you very much.
MARCUS
I need you here to help plunder this site.
CARLEY
Please. Couldn’t you fine someone else?
Carley pulled brain and bone out of his hair.
MARCUS
Sorry no. Only you will work. You are tough and hardy.
CARLEY
I’m probably not 100% myself. Kill me please.
MARCUS
Sorry no. And that’s the end.
CARLEY
But you don’t know if I will kill you.
Carley wandered away. But he felt a command pull from Marcus and had to stay in range of him to get some of his powers absorbed into his body.
CARLEY
What are you doing to me?
MARCUS
What do you mean?
CARLEY
I have to stay close to you otherwise I feel weak.
MARCUS
I thought I had the imagination not you.
CARLEY
I’m not making it up. It’s true. If i move away from you I get weak. I care about you but this is crazy.
MARCUS
Sorry? You care about me?
CARLEY
Yes, I love you.
Marcus comes closer to Carley and kisses him on the lips.
MARCUS
I just thought that was my imagination.
They kiss longer this time.
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Lesson 26: QE Cycle #6: Write this Scene
LOGLINE: A young woman confronts her writer boyfriend about getting a job, only to realize that she can’t leave him because she is in love with him.
ESSENCE: If you love someone you won’t force them to change if it will make that person miserable.
SITUATION: Carley and Marcus are fighting until they realize they were meant to be together.
SCENE ARC: From two people fighting to them kissing.
SCENE:
INT. APARTMENT LIVING ROOM – DAY
Sparsely furnished. A worn couch, a desk with scratches, and it’s got books, CD’s and notebooks on it.
A painting of Custer’s Last Stand has pride of place over the dusty, cobwebbed fireplace.
CARLEY, 22, cute, chubby, glasses, enters from outside, hangs her coat on the rack. She scans the room.
CARLEY
Marcus? You up?
She plucks an open piece of mail off the desktop and quickly reads it.
MARCUS, 26, lean, unshaven, comes out from the bedroom, laptop in arms.
CARLEY (CONT’D)
We have to talk.
MARCUS
What time is it?
Carley sets the letter back on the desk.
CARLEY
When are you going to grow up?
Marcus sets the laptop on the desk, sinks into the chair.
MARCUS
Never, I hope.
He pushes the letter aside.
CARLEY
Honey, I’m worried about you. You keep
saying you’re gonna get a job. You’re rent
is past due.
MARCUS
I spent two hours on Indeed last night.
CARLEY
What? No one wants to hire you to write a
novel or screenplay? I’m flabbergasted.
MARCUS
Coming from you, that really hurts.
Carley comes to his side, kisses his cheek.
CARLEY
Tough love, baby. If I don’t look after
you, who will? You gotta get a job
before you’re out on the street.
MARCUS
When I sell my first novel –
CARLEY
(sarcastic)
I know, I know. We’re gonna be living
large and rolling in dough.
MARCUS
Well at least I’ll be able to sleep at night.
CARLEY
What’s that supposed to mean?
MARCUS
Just look at yourself. A couple more years
in law school and you’ll be defending
mega corporations destroying the
environment.
CARLEY
I won’t be working for companies like that!
MARCUS
It’s all about the money, baby. You have to
pay back your student loans. All your high-
minded morals will go out the door when
your best offers are from companies like
Monsanto.
CARLEY
I won’t just go for the money. But there’s
more opportunity in the legal field than
there is with your pie-in-the-sky dreams
of becoming the next James Patterson.
MARCUS
I just gotta make connections. I don’t know
anybody in the business. It’s not what you
know, it’s who you know.
CARLEY
I’ll bet every failed writer says that.
Marcus looks down, hurt.
MARCUS
You sound just like my dad.
CARLEY
You’re very successful dad.
MARCUS
So you want me to be like my very
successful dad and my very miserable
mom.
CARLEY
Why can’t you just take one of those
factory jobs and write when you get
home from work?
MARCUS
I’ve had those jobs. Sure, I can get
another one. I just thought that by now . . .
CARLEY
My parents told me to stop seeing you.
(holds up hand)
I know, I know. I’m not a kid and I don’t
live with them so I don’t have to listen
to them.
MARCUS
But?
CARLEY
But they have a point.
MARCUS
You mean I’m a loser.
CARLEY
You’re not a loser, but you are a
dreamer.
MARCUS
Now you sound like my mother.
CARLEY
You don’t have any drive or ambition,
other than working on that novel.
MARCUS
I love writing, Carley. It’s the only thing
I can do worth a damn.
CARLEY
It’s killing you. You take the rejections
so personally.
MARCUS
My writing is a part of me. When they tell
me it’s not good enough they’re saying I’m
not good enough.
CARLEY
I’ve heard all this before and let me tell
you, Marcus, your refusal to face reality
and act responsibly IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
Carley takes her coat off the coat rack.
MARCUS
It was a mistake. Us getting together. The first
time I saw your face . . . I just couldn’t help myself.\
But God only knows what you ever saw in me.
CARLEY
If you could just . . .
(beat)
No. You won’t change.
MARCUS
I don’t want to change. You always know
what you’re getting with me, babe. So,
take it or leave it, this is as good as it
gets with me.
Carley buttons her coat, picks up her bag.
MARCUS
You don’t need a loser like me, Carley. You
should be with some young lawyer. Someone
who can give you all the things you deserve.
CARLEY
(in tears)
And you sure don’t need me, Marcus. You
don’t need someone dragging you down.
Telling you you should get a job. Shitting
on you like your folks do.
MARCUS
You really gonna leave on the eve of my
greatest success?
CARLEY
I’m sorry, honey, but you’re greatest success
was honorable mention in that screenwriting
contest.
MARCUS
That says something, doesn’t it? It keeps me
going, knowing –
CARLEY
Knowing what? Knowing you’ve got just
enough talent to be almost good enough?
Tears fill Marcus’ eyes. He hangs his head.
MARCUS
(softly)
Please –
CARLEY
It’s not gonna work this time. I’m not gonna
feel sorry for you. You’re gonna go on
torturing yourself, fooling yourself into
believing you’ll become an A-List
screenwriter while the eviction notices
pile up on your desk.
(beat)
I’ve had enough! I’ve got to move on with
my life or I’m never gonna have a life.
Carley goes to the door, opens it.
MARCUS
(softly)
There is one thing I love even more than
writing.
(beat)
I would give it up for you.
Carley stands frozen, unable to decide what to do. She wipes tears from her cheeks.
CARLEY
Marcus . . .
MARCUS
I won’t even ask you to give up becoming
a lawyer.
Carley slams the door shut, marches back over to Marcus.
CARLEY
(angry)
That’s different! Becoming an attorney is a
legitimate career, and a well-paying one.
Marcus lifts her off her feet, swings her around, kisses her.
MARCUS
You’re staying!
Carley kisses him back.
CARLEY
I give up. I’m just as hopeless as you are.
MARCUS
I’m hopeless alright. Hopelessly in love.
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Lynn’s Cycle 6 – First Draft
LOGLINE: A man captures an autocrat’s wife to defeat the autocrat, reigniting his past love for her.
ESSENCE: Blood might turn out to be thicker than love. Yikes!
SCENE:
EXT. HANK’S GAS STATION – DAY
An abandoned, decrepit station on a neglected highway in a desert, seemingly growing out of a hillock cliff. It might appear to be from the 1930s, except on a closer look the station is circa 2020.
A half-fallen sign tops the station:
……………….HANK’S GAS AND SUPPLIES
…………Visit the attached Tarantula Cave – $10
To the side, a futuristic SkydroGen power “tree” towers above the gas station, small lightening jags zapping between it and the sky.
SUB: Year 2149
A hover car, darkened windows, zips along the deserted highway leaving a voluminous wake of dust. It pulls into the station.
An ANDROID emerges and plugs into the cable from the SkydroGen. It opens the other door, takes out a reluctant, squirming, squealing PASSENGER, hands cuffed in back, sack over her head. It hauls her toward the station door.
INT. HANK’S GAS STATION – DAY
Sunlight filters through windows opaque with grime. The room, pay counter, and small grocery and dining area are defunct and dusty. Grocery Items long since stripped from collapsing shelves. A holo-ball light hovers in the rear, casting an eery glow. Over the back door:
…………………TARANTUAL CAVE
…………..…Enter if you dare, $10
MARCUS (38) in futuristic commando gear paces and speaks seemingly to no one in this empty room.
MARCUS: No, shove her in. Alone.
The front door opens, the woman, CARLEY (35), is shoved forward. The door closes behind her.
CARLEY: (muffled from the bag) Where am I and what’s this all about?
MARCUS: It’s not about you. Though I could use some information.
CARLEY: Who ARE you?
MARCUS: Just call me Heller.
CARLEY: Oh, God. Please just kill me now. I’d never give you anything that would help your cause of destroying the world. NEVER. (sobbing) I suppose you’ll use torture.
MARCUS: How dramatic. No, I don’t plan to harm you. I want Clovis.
CARLEY: And why should I do anything to help?
MARCUS: First I’d want to know why you married him.
Carley squirms to get free.
CARLEY: The greatest hero the world has ever known? I’d like to know why you want to destroy him… and the world.
MARCUS: (sighs defeat) Guess you’re an Automatonon?
CARLEY: And what is that supposed to mean?
MARCUS: You know damn well — susceptible to his Trinopter, bamboozled into the ArtReal world of lies. So this conversation is going nowhere and I’ll just have get on with my more brutal plan–
CARLEY: (sweet) It may surprise you to know I’m one of those nine-percenter Libertrinos, not at all affected by his Trinopter. Clovis is a genius. For real. He needed me. Can a person refuse to help save the world? (harsh) Whatever you are, it’s neither Automatonon nor Libertrino, but I’m loathe to say, someone who’s gone over to evil… who’s even afraid to show me his, uh, not so pretty face.
Marcus fumes anger as he steps to Carley, reaches over, and tugs off her head sack. There’s a metal device attached to her neck.
CARLEY: Don’t you dare disconnect my tracker.
MARCUS: Wouldn’t dream of it.
Carley’s face is in the shadows, but we can make out she’s beautiful. Carley jerks back in shock upon seeing Marcus.
CARLEY: Marcus Drake! You are Heller?!
MARCUS: I’m sorry Clovis and I made you go on that early version A.I. Ganjoco brain trip. That’s why you went for him.
CARLEY: You were too playful… and dangerous. Into war games, military inventions. Clovis had only one purpose in life–to save the earth from destruction. Humanity’s destruction.
MARCUS: Yeh, well the tables are turned now.
Marcus points to a halo-globe-light hovering behind him. It brightens, revealing more of the decrepit station and old, yellowing bruises on Carley’s face.
MARCUS (CONT’D): Your face. Who beat you?
CARLEY: You droid was very rough, Marcus.
MARCUS: No. I told him not to harm you. Those bruises are old…
………………………………………………….CUT TO:
INT. FUTURISTIC PALATIAL OFFICE – DAY
A stark, palatial office with no windows. Behind a massive screen-top desk with info dancing around sits CLOVIS RIKER (38), swollen, lumpy bald head, six small metal devises attached to it.
Around the room are four large screens with various live happenings:
>> Massive forest fire
>> PEOPLE on a busy city sidewalk, with one in eleven PEDESTRIANS gagging and falling dead, the OTHERS just walking on by zombie-like.
>> Floods drowning out a large swathe or a residential area
But Clovis is focused on the
FOURTH SCREEN: the Gas Station scene with Marcus and Carley playing out.
MARCUS (ON SCREEN, CONT’D): …Clovis has been hitting you. (off her closed face) Why do you stay? What does he have over you?
CLARLEY (ON SCREEN): The question is, why are you destroying the earth?
MARCUS (ON SCREEN): Me? I’m saving it. It’s Clovis who’s gone mad with all that A.I. Ganjoco fogging his brain. He’s gone from saving the earth to taking control of it, massacring the Libertrinos… because he can’t control them.
CLARLEY (ON SCREEN): You know people need to be regulated, or life on planet earth will end. You were all for that.
MARCUS (ON SCREEN): My mistake.
Clovis presses a control on the desk and speaks to the screen.
CLOVIS: I hate to interrupt your interesting tête-à-tête–
…………………………………………………….CUT TO:
INT. HANK’S GAS STATION – DAY
Marcus and Carley jump back.
CLOVIS (O.S.): –but we’re tracking you and it won’t be long before Carley is returned safely home and you’re dead, Marcus A.K.A. Keller.
MARCUS: Safely, I’ll bet. We know what you’re up to.
Marcus turns to Carley and as Clovis speaks, Marcus pushes Carley toward the tarantula cave. She squirms and resists.
CLOVIS (O.S.): Without the Libertrinos causing problems, the world will soon be a better place.
MARCUS: Yeh-yeh, Ganjoco-head. Carry on…
Marcus pushes Carley into
INT. TARANTULA CAVE – DAY
Marcus shuts the very heavy door behind them. The place is dark.
CARLEY: I don’t like spiders.
MARCUS: Don’t worry, they’re long gone. We fitted this with lead so that–
Just then they are rocked by a MASSIVE EXPLOSION.
EXT. HANK’S GAS STATION – DAY
The station, exploded, up in flames. The hover car, shooting away.
INT. HOVER CAR – DAY
The Android drives, speaks on the radio.
ANDROID: Tracking locked–
INT. CAVE – DAY
ANDROID (O.S., CONT’D): — Clovis will be evaporated in thirty-three seconds.
Marcus ons the holo-light. The cave is set up like a command post. He uncuffs Carley. She rubs her wrists.
MARCUS: He tried to kill you, the bastard… But you’ll soon be a widow.
CARLEY: I tried to divorce Clovis. I never loved him, Marcus, not the way I loved you… and, yes, he was abusive… And I did know he went way off-script. I was trying to stop him. Persuasion, the only thing that works on Libertrinos.
Marcus gives her a shrew look.
CARLEY (CONT’D): (shivers) What are you going to do with me?
Marcus takes her in his arms and kisses her. She responds.
CARLEY: I am so ashamed I didn’t leave him.
Marcus gently kisses her face, then pulls back.
MARCUS: I still don’t understand what kept you with him once you realized….
CARLEY: Can we just get on with a more hopeful future….
ANDROID (O.S.): Trouble ahead. Marcus’s son is taking over. Report claims he’s continuing his father’s mission to annihilate Libertrinos, but more efficiently, without the fog of A.I.ganjoco.
Carley gives Marcus a look of desperation.
CARLEY: Please, Marcus, don’t harm him. We can use persuasion…
END OF SCENE
-
LOGLINE: Carley is determined to find out why her husband is never home, when they are attacked while driving, and only escape through their joined efforts.
ESSENCE: Conflict brings out Marcus’s true identity.
INT. CAR – DAY
MARCUS (34), the definition of a nerdy accountant, drives the car, glancing in the mirror at a black sedan that is weaving its way up behind him and his passenger.
CARLEY (28) pulls lipstick from her purse.
CARLEY
There’s always an excuse. No one works as many hours as you do, unless they’re having an affair. At least be honest with me.
She flips down her visor mirror and applies lipstick. She doesn’t notice the sedan is right behind them now.
MARCUS
You know it’s tax time, honey. I don’t have time for an affair. All those extra hours are what’s paying the bills.
Carley flips up her visor. Marcus looks in his mirror again. He puts on his blinker and quickly takes a right at the next intersection.
Carley clutches her door handle.
CARLEY
Geez. Take it easy.–Other accountants seem to make it home each night.
Marcus glances in his mirror. The sedan is still behind them. He speeds up and takes a ramp onto the freeway. The sedan follows.
MARCUS
I’m sorry. I get it. I’ve been away a lot lately. I didn’t think you’d notice. You seem to be gone every night yourself.
Carley glances at his speedometer.
CARLEY
None of that matters. I was trying to get your attention.–Will you slow down?
MARCUS
Hang on.
The sedan rear ends them, sending their car swerving dangerously across several lanes, narrowly missing sideswiping another car. Marcus gets their car straightened out. He increases their speed.
Carley clutches the door handle, her eyes wide with fear.
CARLEY
Are they nuts! Marcus just pull over. Get out of their way.
Marcus grimly increases speed, looking in his mirror.
CARLEY
They’ll think you’re racing them. Just pull over.
The sedan pulls up even with them. Two hooded THUGS stare into their car.
MARCUS
Get your head down.
Carley, even more terrified, ducks as bullets shatter the windows. Marcus slams their car into the sedan, sending it sideways, before he crosses the grass divider and speeds down the highway going the wrong way against traffic.
CARLEY
Get of off the road, Marcus. Just get off the road.
The sedan follows, both cars weaving as oncoming traffic splits to the sides to avoid them.
The sedan pulls even with the car again and Marcus–
–PULLS A GUN, exchanging SHOTS with the sedan. The passenger slumps over.
CARLEY
(huddled down)
Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Where did you get that gun? What is happening?
Marcus looks in the mirror, noting the sedan still following. A second SEDAN now stays parallel with them in the correct lane of travel.
Marcus swerves back over the grass meridian into the flow of traffic. Two sedans now follow, trying to creep up on both sides. Marcus suddenly leaves the highway, flying up a ramp, screaming through an intersection and sharply around a corner.
Behind them, one of the black sedans is t-boned by a truck in the intersection. The second one keeps coming.
Marcus sends his car bouncing through a field toward an old barn. He hands his gun to Carley.
MARCUS
We’re fixing to be in a gunfight. Just point and shoot.
Marcus slides the car up next to the barn.
MARCUS
Inside. Move.
Marcus and Carley scramble from the car. Marcus grabs his briefcase from the back seat and they sprint into the barn.
INT. BARN – CONTINUOUS
Marcus slides to his knees, ripping the briefcase open and assembling a high tech rifle.
Carley looks anxiously through the slats of the barn as two men slide from the sedan that followed them.
CARLEY
Here they come.
Carley shoots over their heads. They duck and split, circling the barn.
CARLEY
I don’t know if I can shoot them.
Marcus rolls to his feet and runs to the door, sending a volley of shots toward the man out front, who returns a round of rifle fire. Marcus and Carley hit the ground.
Marcus crawls to Carley.
MARCUS
You’d better figure it out quick.
Marcus kisses Carley fiercely.
MARCUS
I’ll take the guy out back. I love you.
Marcus scrambles toward his feet and runs toward the back of the barn as the back door slams open. A thug dives in, rolling across the floor, shooting at Marcus.
Marcus is spun backward as a bullet hits his shoulder, but he jumps forward again, sending a volley toward the intruder.
The second thug bursts through the front of the barn, gun blazing. Carley, standing quietly next to the door with her gun raised, fires a shot into his head.
Marcus starts toward her.
MARCUS
Good girl. I didn’t think you had it in you.
Carley’s eyes widen as the thug by the back door starts to rise.
Marcus shoots the thug again. Carley runs into his arms and they kiss.
MARCUS
Where’d you learn to shoot like that?
Carley anxiously touches his shoulder.
CARLEY
We need to get you to a doctor, honey. You’re bleeding pretty bad.
Marcus touches his shoulder and shrugs, smiling reassuringly at Carley.
CARLEY
I think it’s time for my husband to tell me who he really is.
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