Lesson 3

[Paul Penley]

Paul P’s Transformational Journey Logline:

A “quick to the gun” outlaw and his gold hungry gang ride into a cursed mission where three fallen angels are recruiting men for their army of doom, the outlaws must transform themselves into the person they vowed they would never become in order to escape.

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” I’m hoping this execise will lead me to a strong transformational change for each of my characters. It helped me better realize what each character needs to overcome and different ways to bring the audience into the story.

Old Ways:
Entitled
Selfish
Arrogant
Kill “good” men
Honor amoung theives
Concider themselves killers
Steal and cheat
Takes from the poor and needy
Quick to Kill ” life doesn’t matter”

New Ways:
Humbled
Compassionate
Able to Forgive
Values human life
Vow to kill evil men
Gives to the poor and needy

[Mark Roeder]

Mark Roeder’s Transformational Journey

What I learned doing this assignment is my veterinarian lead character could be repulsed by the pandas she artificially inseminates, convinced they are all the same disgusting, lazy creatures. Her transformational journey may not be as good as becoming the one in The Matrix yet, but it’s got a possible beginning and ending.

Transformational logline:

A veterinarian repulsed by the pandas she artificially inseminates
Gives birth to a panda, finds out it’s an alien creation
And teams up with her panda to stop a hidden alien agenda.

2. Old ways:
Suspicious
paranoid
Judgemental
Generalizer
Puts all pandas in a box, like they are all the same disgusting, lazy creatures.
reluctant
Scientific in a cold, heartless way

3. New ways:
Supportive
Learns to love her panda, fight for him and trust him even though he may trigger an alien invasion that could wipe out the human race.
Part of a team
Caring
Mother
Good mother
Insightful
Loves her panda with all her heart

[Lonnie Nichols]

Lonnie’s transformational journey

What I learned doing this assignment: This assignment helped me to better define the old way of the protagonist, take steps in the transformation, then define the new ways.

Title: Rubytown
Genre: Feature/Sci-fi Drama

1. Tell us your logline for the transformational journey:
Logline: A teenage track star turns to drugs and goes missing for weeks, only to return with super powers. Her small town rejects her strange behavior, but she eventually eliminates all of the local drug lords.

2. Tell us what you see as the Old Ways:
Teenage track phenomenon, Ruby Goldsmith, turns to drugs upon discovering her father had been killed in a fiery crash. Her drug habit cost her all of her friends and family, along with a college scholarship. She was a miserable “victim” of life, and pushed away nearly everyone.

3. Tell us what you see as the New Ways:
Ruby was consulted by aliens and taught how to live a clean, prosperous, and compassionate life. Though the town folk initially rejects her “new” persona, she eventually begins to respect others, get outside of herself, and successfully lead a campaign to rid the town of all drugs.

• This reply was modified 5 months, 2 weeks ago by  Lonnie Nichols.

[AMIE WILLIAMS]

Amie’s Transformational Journey

What I learned doing this assignment is: loglines are really f-ing difficult! I have written this one over and over and it is still not right (sigh). Perhaps this exercise is to teach you patience and self-forgiveness, something my main character is also trying to learn!

1. Logline:

A once-brilliant research scientist, haunted by the death of her 7-year-old son in a tragic accident, travels to a Greek island desperate to disappear, but instead meets a refugee girl, who pulls her into an underworld of even deeper despair, where nothing is as it seems, and the only way out is to forge unlikely alliances with those who understand your pain.

2. What I see as the Old Ways:
Antigone (Tig) the main character is a brilliant physicist. She relies on logic and empirical data to determine outcomes. She is obsessive, a bit ‘on the spectrum,’ hard on herself, methodical, afraid of emotions, attachment. As a mother, she was awkward, a perfectionist. Buried in her research, she barely had time for her child, and after his death she is consumed with guilt and unable to forgive herself. Estranged from her husband, she has also lost any interest in work and has started drinking and taking pills to numb her pain. She sees Greece as a place to disappear or even kill herself.

3. What I see as the New Ways:
Everything changes for Tig when she finds the injured refugee girl, Fati, hidden in a cave and on a whim (totally out of character but based on wanting to disappear) she decides to adopt the identity of her drowned mother. But Fati is not honest with her and as the story unfolds, Tig keeps having to compromise her usual cautious, fastidious self as she is drawn to Fati’s resilience and free spirit. She learns to let go of her control-freak ways and lets herself be led into strange, mystical experiences and encounters that make no sense to her former science-trained persona.
Their initial relationship is sparked by friction and distrust, but as it becomes clear Fati is in serious trouble, Tig keeps getting drawn into her drama, perhaps to mask her own.

The unlikely mother/daughter pair mirror each other’s pain, but also provide moments of spontaneous, insane joy, against the backdrop of a modern dystopia and a racist asylum system that lures with promises of freedom but then threatens violence and deportation.

[Linda Anderson]

Linda Anderson’s Transformational Journey

What I learned doing this assignment is the movie structure starts to pop into place as I’m creating the transformational journey of the main character.

Logline for the transformational journey:
An egotistical animal communicator must fall from positions of power in her personal and professional lives until she expands her understanding that animals are nuanced in consciousness, creativity, and free will.

Old Ways:
Superiority complex
Controlling
Manipulative
Insecure
Overly ambitious
Know-it-all
Dismissive
Projects her thoughts and feelings on to others
Misses the bigger picture

New Ways:
Humble
Expanded awareness
More flexible
Less opinionated
Willing to be detached about outcomes
Empathetic
Supportive and encouraging
Filled with awe at the possibilities

[Mark]

Subject line: Mark K.’s Transformational Journey

Answer the question “What I learned doing this assignment is…?”
Writing a Transformational Logline can be an important tool for staying focused on the main throughline of the story. Everything should revolve around this.

Tell us your logline for the transformational journey.
A disillusioned private investigator must confront her buried ideals while uncovering a conspiracy, transforming from a cynical loner to a passionate advocate for justice and unity.

Tell us what you see as the Old Ways.
Being suspicious of others, judgmental about others’ views, especially political. Avoiding people with different views. Feeling hopeless about progress and change. Blind to the real cause of the chaos in the country.

Tell us what you see as the New Ways.
Focusing on what we all have in common, rather than our differences. Hopeful and active in advocating for social change. Cognizant of the ways the country is being controlled by the rich and powerful to further their own means.

[Gerard Tretton]

Lesson 3

4. Answer the question “What I learned doing this assignment is…?” (place at top of your work)

That I had to get this profound concept written down. This clear structure of the logline is very helpful.

1.Tell us your logline for the transformational journey.

The protagonist Eliana America Sanchez, is a teenage Ecuadorian girl living in the Andes of Ecuador. She is conflicted and troubled, alternating between agonizing fear and joyful spurts of creativity that she is able to find with her novice songwriting and music.

As she matures to a young adult, she finds a way, guided at times along the way by her sage uncle Francisco Sanchez, of accessing a higher level of consciousness where she is able to transform from being disturbed almost immediately to having peace of mind and confident in knowing what to do. She evolves to be an internationally famous singer and creative artist, clear with her real purpose in life.

2. Tell us what you see as the Old Ways.

Conflicted and fearful, unsure why she is here, feeling like an alien at times, lost. But there is a ray of hope in her musical creativity, that she clings to for safety.

3. Tell us what you see as the New Ways.

Awake, clear with purpose, connected with all around her. Powerful in her presence, a confident leader who demonstrates a design for living.

• This reply was modified 5 months, 2 weeks ago by  Gerard Tretton.

[margo meck]

Margo’s Transformational Journey

What I learned doing this assignment is: that I didn’t know my story well enough to apply the Profound model. So, I switched the story I am using for this class that I am more familiar with (and posted Lesson 2’s response with this new story).

Logline: The product of incest turns a death wish into a successful life as an extreme sport competitor.

Old Ways:

– Small town dreams

– Shame

– Shunned

– Narrow world view

– Following the dominant narrative

New Ways:

– International competitor

– Proud of accomplishments

– Congenial comradery with peers because of her skill level

– Respected in her sport and as a person

– A bigger world

– Creating her own narrative

[Brent KINETZ]

Brent’s Transformational Journey

What I learned from doing this assignment is how hard it was for me to turn my logline into something that describes both the old ways and the new ways. I’m so used to my log line just describing the crux of the problem, but not the way it sort of turns out. I also really struggled with creating a contained list of simple descriptions of the old and new way. For me, it’s easier to conceptualize than to actually do it. What I’ve come up with feels at once, overly verbose and sickeningly vague and cliché. I think what it all tells me is I’ve got more work to do in order to really find my character’s transformational journey.

Logline: When his teenage son goes away with friends for the weekend, a father must face his wife’s anxiety and helplessness after she realizes her only contact will be watching social media posts.

Old Ways

– afraid of confrontation

– resentful

– spineless

– supportive despite instincts telling him otherwise

– does not listen to his gut

– despite trusting his kids, won’t stand up for them

New Ways

– stands up for his belief

– confronts his fear

– trusts his kids, and stands up for them

[Kristina Zill]

KZs Transformational Journey

What I learned:

Figuring out the Transformational Logline and the old and new ways helps bring the story into focus.
Once again, I did this process for 10 different scripts and got ideas for how to improve them.

Transformational Logline:

1. A cynical, small town police officer who bends the rules

2. Must break a spell of mass hypnosis and reinstate the rule of law

3. In order to save the police force and town from chaos

Old Ways:

Cynical
Misanthropic
The rules don’t apply to me
Nihilistic
Love is for suckers (his wife cheated on him)
Laws are meant to be broken
Relationships are just about sex

New Ways:

Forgiving of others’ frailties while respecting the rule of law
Vulnerable, can fall in love for real
Strong, but compassionate

[Sylvia Krawczyk]

Day 3: Transformational Journeys that Change Lives
Sylvia’s Transformational Journey
What I learned doing this assignment is…the method for putting together the logline is wonderful. It made the refining process easy.
THE TRANSFORMATIONAL JOURNEY
This process starts with a logline that focuses on the transformation of the story. In it, you want to be really clear about three things:
1. Lead character with an issue
A senior traditionalist widow
2. Journey
Must overcome her fears of modern social technology
3. Transformation
Until she discovers her love of life.

LOGLINE FOR THE TRANSFORMATIONAL JOURNEY:
A senior traditionalist widow must overcome her fears of modern social technology until she discovers her love of life.

DEFINE THE OLD WAYS
Traditional in her courtship/relationship ways
Set in her ways
Stubborn
Non-technical
Bored
Sarcastic
Cut off from modern social technology platforms
Single

DEFINE THE NEW WAYS
Open to changes
Technology savvy
Fun-loving
Social Butterfly

[Margaret]

Margaret’s Transformational Journey

Logline: A fearful grandmother, oppressed by the Nazi’s, joins the resistance and courageously relays messages through her rag dolls.

Old ways:
Timid
Fearful
Perfectionist
Dislikes Change/Risk

New Ways:

Courageous
Risk-Taker
Able to act without a perfect plan in place

[Jennifer Quintenz-Berry]

Jenn’s Transformational Journey

What I learned doing this assignment is: It really helps to articulate the starting state and the ending state. I am a little nervous that my main character might come off as whiny if I’m not careful. I want her to move from feeling victimized by events to feeling empowered to do what she can to construct a better life, so in some ways she has to start off in that victim-mentality. I just don’t want her to dwell on it – it’s something she has internalized so deeply that she just believes it. I think that will work. We’ll see.

Logline for the transformational journey: A grieving woman suffers mysterious, life-threatening seizures during which she relives the traumatic events leading to her sister’s death—until she realizes that within these “memories” she has the power to rewrites history.

The Old Ways:

Problem State: Taylor Donlan is a grieving patient who behaves as if her life is already over.

Her old way of being:
– Self-defeating
– Sarcastic
– Doesn't see the point in trying
– Believes she suffers unique and unfair misfortune
– Isolates herself from others

The New Ways:

The Solution State: Taylor has learned that life is worth living, and has taken ownership of her choices.

Her new way of being:
– Empowered
– Embraces others
– Able to form genuine friendships
– Values life’s imperfections
– Loves her life

~ end

• This reply was modified 5 months, 1 week ago by  Jennifer Quintenz-Berry.

[Terrie Shaft]

Terrie’s Transformational Journey
What I learned from this assignment is to leverage Chatgpt – wish I’d done so sooner. It gave me ideas for the transformational journey as well as the start and end points of the journey. I’ve got some homework to do (watch Robocop) but I certainly moved forward after not doing so for several days.
1. Tell us your logline for the transformational journey.
"In a dystopian near future, a duty-bound Texas Ranger investigating a brutal murder uncovers a far-reaching government conspiracy, forcing her to transform from a by-the-book enforcer into a fearless leader fighting to restore justice and freedom to her country."
2. Tell us what you see as the Old Ways.
By the book, follow protocol, detached but not unempathetic to individuals, pragmatic.
3. Tell us what you see as the New Ways.
Warrior for justice, defies authority regardless of personal cost, principled in action based on the US Constitution

• This reply was modified 5 months ago by  Terrie Shaft.
• This reply was modified 5 months ago by  Terrie Shaft.

[Frank E Legette III]

Frank E. Legette’ IIIs Transformational Journey

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” I am learning how to properly identify the old and new ways of my protagonist.

Logline

A self-righteous Pastor who’s determined to achieve fame by preventing abortion in his state until he learns how to love people more than a fight.

Old Ways

Narcissistic
Combative
Argumentative
Insensitive to other people’s pain and suffering
Obsessed with fame and attention
Closeted hypocrite

New Ways

Converted
Sensitive to other people’s pain and suffering
Loving
Self-less
Compassion

[Sharyn Grose]

Sharyn’s Transformational Journey

What I learned doing this assignment is it’s ok to start with an idea that is not fully formed because this is another step in the building process. This steered my focus from what is not right and perfect to fueling my brainstorming process and seeing the possibilities of creating a profound transformation with my character.

Logline for the transformational journey:
A burned-out teacher who transfers to a new school slated to close is challenged by an underperforming class to be grateful for the present and believe in them and herself.

The Old Ways:
Disengaged
Tries to get through the moments to the next
Doesn’t try to really know people
Doesn’t take accountability

The New Ways:
Encouraging and supportive
Looks for the good in people and moments
Engaged in life
Opens up and builds bonds with people

• This reply was modified 4 months ago by  Sharyn Grose.