Lesson 3

[Jan Fantl]

Jan’s Pilot Structure <div>

WIL: I apologize for being repetitive. I learn here constantly to send back my work to myself and review it. Like a cow I use all different compartments of my scriptwriting “stomach” to re- and re- and re- write what I thought before. And yes, here, I learn to become better.

Teaser: WAR

Essence: During his duty, Oliver’s patrol is ambushed by a child assassin, resulting in the death of a fellow soldier in his arms.

Turning Point: Startled from a daytime nightmare in the desert camp, Oliver must gather himself and continue the interrogation of the primary assassin.

Act 1: TRAVEL

Essence: Interrupted during the interrogation, Oliver receives the news of his father’s sudden death and his buddy aids him in catching a cargo flight to return home immediately. As he walks towards the cargo plane, he has a brief conversation with his mother on the phone, promising to learn the whole story when they reunite in a few hours. </div><div>

Turning Point: Stranded at a cargo airfield with no place to rest, Oliver opts for a motel to catch some sleep, hoping his mother will be sleeping anyway. (It’s not a strong point as of yet but will show that this is why he missed to meet his mother alive. maybe I can do better)

Act 2: ARRIVAL

Essence: Oliver returns home and meets detective Petra, who tells him about his mother’s death but is unaware of his father’s demise. They explore the house together, Oliver finding his mother’s appointment with the notary. Petra requires proof of his identity before allowing him to stay in his parents’ house. </div><div>

Turning Point/Midpoint: Oliver will seek justice for his parents’ mysterious deaths, defying the dismissive homicide department to uncover the truth.

Act 3: DOORS SHUT

Essence: Frustrated and alone in his hometown, Oliver faces numerous obstacles at the residents registration office as he lacks proof of identity. He tries calling relatives e.g. Uncle Hans, who is unavailable, and schedules an appointment for the following day. He calls police at dad’s work place. </div><div>

Turning Point: To his surprise, at the notary’s office, Oliver is handed a freshly signed power of attorney document by his mother, dated just one day before.

Act 4: BRAWL/ SEX

Essence: Oliver presents the PoA at the homicide office, obtains the keys, searches his home in frustration, and later finds himself unable to avoid a brawl at a bar. Despite getting injured, Marie, the bartender, assists him and they spend the night together. </div><div>

Turning Point: After having sex, Oliver finds himself restless and unable to sleep. He takes a walk in an attempt to calm his mind.

Act 5: RESTLESS NIGHT

Essence: Oliver searches his parents’ house once more and discovers a hidden compartment containing his mother’s diary. </div>

Lock In: As he reads aloud from his mother’s diary, he shatters the illusion of her death: a peaceful dead, really?

[Kristina Zill]

Oops – posted this in error and there’s no way to simply delete.

[Kristina Zill]

KZ’s Pilot Structure

What I learned doing this assignment is… how to set up scenes by their essence and their turning points.

Teaser:

Essence: A young man flees a 12th-floor apartment, chased by an unknown assailant

Turning Point: The young man is pushed over the banister and falls down the stairwell to his death in the foyer below.

Act I

Essence: Oliver questions who he is. Tony plants a shoe.

Turning Point: A detective appears, asking questions. Oliver wonders…could he be a murderer?

Act II

Essence: Seeking to return the shoe, Oliver meets IRL Tony

Turning Point: Tony reveals that Oliver has been near death in the hospital and hides him from Nolan

Act III

Essence: Nolan’s publisher launders money for Russians and plants secret messages in published ebooks

Turning Point: The Russian wants to know why Oliver isn’t dead yet.

Act IV

Essence: Oliver is taken with Tony, and decides to conceal the shoe that ties him to the murder

Turning Point: Michelle reveals that Raymond was Tony’s lover, and that all of his lovers seem to die a gruesome death.

Act V

Essence: Oliver must discover Raymond’s real murderer or be accused himself

Turning Point: The Detective finds the shoe; accuses Oliver of murder

[Cat Miggs]

What I learned doing this assignment is breaking down the essence and turning point highlights the excitement that the pilot will have.

Teaser

Essence: Forest Ranger Susan talks her way out of commitment on the phone while cleaning the park, unaware of the magic dust around her.

Turning Point: The magic dust lands on a flower and the flower dies.

Act 1

Essence: Susan the aunt who is a kid herself uses her Princess Pan techniques to get out of doing a hard task at work.

Turning Point: Some co-workers love her and others don’t. It’s a love/hate relationship.

Act 2

Essence: Susan’s boss agrees to let her go do one of the easiest tasks, pick up trash at the circle of trees.

Turning Point/Midpoint: Circle of Trees vibration is off as if there is a glimpse/glitch of another world with magic doing harm.

Act 3

Essence: Illegal hunters on the ground, one hunter see’s Susan as a deer as if magic was cast on their eyes and shoots but realizes soon it was a human not a deer, runs away.

Turning Point: Susan wakes up to see a bullet sits next to her and trees start talking.

Act 4

Essence: A Shadow is lurking watching Susan off in the distance.

Turning Point: Death seems to be following Susan.

Act 5

Essence: A new forest ranger has just joined the station, after meeting Susan goes off to check out the surroundings, when they suddenly drop dead.

Turning Point: The Shadow drags the forest ranger deep into the forest.

[Chanda Haynes]

LIKE THE JONESES – Pilot Structure

What I learned doing this assignment was that the essence and turning point are like goalposts for each act. Now I know what is happening in each act, so it’s getting more specific with each assignment. So we will start to see what scenes will go into each act, etc. Also, learning how important the Turning Point is, and making sure it’s something pivotal. Learning what is happening at the Midpoint of the story also helps me to pace the story.

Teaser: Meet the Joneses

•Essence: Jones Farmacy celebrating its 10th year anniversary. We learn brief Jones Farmacy history. Statistics.

•Turning Point: Henry has the loan sharks on his ass. He unlocks an unknown safe and pulls out documents that say BENEFICIARIES, HENRY AND HEATHER JONES.

Act 1:

•Essence: At the office, Tony must get approval on all major decisions.

•Turning Point: Tony demands more responsibility and freedom in the company.

Act 2:

•Essence: Elaine finally convinces Willie to give Tony a shot at CEO. Willie gets another four years with the LOCC.

•Turning Point/Midpoint: Henry arrives with incriminating info on Willie threatening to go to the LOCC. Forcing Willie to make him CEO.

Act 3:

Essence: Tony resigns from Jones Farmacy after the Henry announcement.

Turning Point: The cannabis community rallies around Tony. He hears disturbing information about the LOCC.

Act 4:

•Essence: Tony learns more about LOCC activity.

•Turning Point: Pete Roberts approaches Tony with an offer.

Act 5:

•Essence: Tony receives multiple offers. Pete sweetens the deal for Tony.

•Lock In: Tony accepts a position with Green Diamonds as Vice President, Jones Farmacy’s competition.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by  Chanda Haynes.