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Lesson 3
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Ruthie’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1
What I learnt: To not overthink this, put down what you have and fill in the gaps…
Title: Miss Cast Genre: Comedy
Act 1:
Talent agent Zadie is forced to take former child star Jasper on as a client and inadvertently steals his comeback role.
OPENING:
Zadie PJ 1: Zadie is pulled over for speeding and banned from driving.
Genre Conventions: Each time she tries to wiggle her way out of the ticket, the cop adds more points to her license.
Deeper Layer: Failing to charm her way out of a ticket, feeds into her insecurities. Her independence is gone, and she will be reliant on others to get around town.
Inciting Incident: Zadie’s Uber driver is former child star Jasper Benjamin.
Jasper AJ 1: Jasper blackmails Zadie to take him on as a client or ban her from the app.
Deeper Layer: Jasper is desperate to return to Hollywood.
Zadie PJ 2: If Zadie is to make her Hollywood meeting on time, she’ll have to accept.
Deeper Layer: She figures she can do something with Jasper as a client.
Genre Conventions: Zadie is trapped mentally and physically.
Turning Point:
She accompanies Jasper to a promising call-back, only to find herself being persuaded to audition and offered the same role.
Zadie PJ 3: Zadie reads Jasper’s role in the waiting room of a call-back, which the casting director overhears.
Deeper Layer: Zadie has no skin in the game and nothing to lose by auditioning. Therefore, her imposter syndrome as an agent, is not apparent.
Jasper AJ 2: Jasper auditions believing the call-back is a formality and the role will be his.
Deeper Layer: He’s so close to his comeback, he can taste it.
Act 2:
New plan:
Having won the role, Zadie films and returns to work thinking nothing of it. Six months later the film debuts at an Indy Film Fest to smash reviews.
Zadie PJ 4: Zadie is an overnight sensation as an actress.
Jasper AJ 3: Jasper is bitter with Zadie for snaking his comeback role.
Deeper Layer: Zadie’s smart enough to leverage this situation to both their advantages.
Plan in action:
She’s the perfect antidote to the typical Hollywood ingenue. Everyone wants a piece of Zadie, including Jasper, who plots her downfall.
Zadie PJ 5: Zadie is having fun representing herself as her new client.
Deeper Layer: She can afford to have fun, knowing what her real end goal is.
Jasper AJ 4: Meanwhile Jasper’s notoriety is also rising as a result of his smear campaign.
Deeper Level: He’s enjoying his resurrected status in Hollywood and trusts Zadie to get them to the finish line.
Genre Conventions: War of words knowing the final layer will reveal double meanings and fun subtext etc.
Midpoint Turning Point:
Zadie is embraced by the LGBT community, after images of her kissing lesbian comic Ledicia, go viral on social media, due to drunken high jinks at a film festival.
Zadie PJ 6: The media assume Zadie’s gay.
Deeper Layer: This is all part of Zadie’s plan, which will also benefit Ledicia.
Act 3:
Rethink everything:
Zadie is fired from her agency since clients are leaving in droves due to Jasper’s social media campaign.
Zadie PJ 7: She’s giving as good as she gets as regards promotion and social media.
Jasper AJ 5: Their spats have gone vial. Jasper is a bona fide social media star.
Deeper Layer: What looks like a shit show for Zadie, is actually all going to plan.
New plan:
Zadie PJ 8: She’s nominated for a major acting award.
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift:
Thanks to Jasper, Zadie is “outed” as straight. His actions put her nomination and acting career in jeopardy.
Jasper AJ 6: The public support for Jasper is overwhelming, leading to a whole slew of offers.
Jasper AJ 7: Jasper is poached by a rival agent.
Deeper Layer: Setting the groundwork for Jasper is gain lucrative contracts and research a rival agent.
Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict:
She wins but at the podium turns down her award – stating that it should have gone to Jasper.
Zadie PJ 9: Zadie announces she’ll be returning to her day job as an agent.
Deeper Layer: A global audience now know who they both are.
Genre Convention: Take the piss out of a conventional winning speech make it hilarious. (Unapologetically menofuckingpausal!)
Resolution:
Zadie has a swanky office at her own high-powered talent agency.
Zadie PJ 10: Her new client is Jasper Benjamin.
Jasper AJ 8: Jasper has just been confirmed as the lead in an action trilogy.
Deeper Layer Reveal: Zadie & Jasper are actually lovers who planned to hoodwink Hollywood and leverage their newfound notoriety to both their advantages.
Deeper Layer: Zadie’s proved she’s a canny agent – her imposter syndrome is gone.
Deeper Layer: Jasper is back where he believes he should have been all along.
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Lloyd’s Beat Sheet. First rough draft
“What I learned from doing this assignment is…the specifics and structure are coming together as a result of each layer.
Working Hard everyday to become the best writer I can be and as a result I do become the best writer in Hollywood
Title: Letters from Baghdad
Genre: Action / Drama
ACT 1: SFC Reese meets his antagonist and is put in a life and death situation at the Baghdad open market.
Reese PJ 1: Reese comes from the tough streets of New York and has come to see the Army as a safe and soft landing he is comfortable with.
Reese PJ 2: Reese commands a unit of Soldiers on patrol in Baghdad. When bombs are set to go off, Reese recognizes this and must out-think the terrorist to save himself and others around him.
Al-Sadar AJ 1: Al-Sadar has been watching this Army unit for months waiting for the right moment to attack them. Reese represents a feather in his cap and a strong message to the Americans to go home.
Deeper Layer: Every death, every murder is an act of revenge for the death of Al-Sadar’s family.
Al-Sadar AJ 2: Al-Sadar mocks him, telling him the death of the Iraqi’s will be on his hands and he must choose who lives and who dies.
INCITING INCIDENT: When Al-Sadar taunts Reese telling him he can only save one but not both this is coupled with the fact Al-Sadar knows who the Interpreter is.
Al-Sadar AJ 3: When Reese spots him on balcony it is a clear message the two are locked in mortal combat with only one outcome
Deeper Layer: Al-Sadar is deeply committed to killing everyone involved with the coalition forces. He believes what he is doing is an act of war to rid the country of the infidels. Despite this he knows no amount of dead soldiers will ever compensate him for the murder of his family.
Reese PJ 3: Reese tries to reason with him to no avail.
Al-Sadar AJ 4: Al-Sadar activates the bombs and with one simple call he call set off a chain of deadly events. He calls the interpreter and tells him to tell Reese to make a choice his men or the Iraqis !
TURNING POINT 1: Al-Sadar detonates the bombsDeep Layer reveal: Reese doesn’t know he is about to put his military career in jeopardy. He is met with considerable resistance after the bombing. This is where he decides his career is not worth turning his back on the family. He asks God and his conscience for guidience for the first time ever.
ACT 2: The Interpreter and his wife receive a letter denying them asylum. He tells Reese that day and Reese confronts the State Department Representative asking him why.
Reese PJ 3 : Reese knows he cannot protect him from Al-Sadar. This is beginning to look exactly like the death of his brother in which he could do nothing.
Al-Sadar AJ 5: Al-Sadar has a new focus, He visits the Interpreter’s home to warn him or kill him and his family.
DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: When the Interpreter sees him he does not let on he knows him to save his life. Al-Sadar was once a good man that valued life. He was also the teacher for his daughter as well.Reese PJ 4: Reese is beginning to understand Soldiers are not the only ones suffering because of the war.
Reese PJ 5: Reese and his soldiers take up the cause of the family trying to protect them.
Al-Sadar AJ 6: Al-Sadar decides he will kill the interpreter and his family.
Deeper Layer: Al-Sadar decides the Americans must be met head on and every interpreter should face his wrath for their traitorous acts.
Al-Sadar AJ 7: Al-Sadar sends a foot soldier to scout the family and get intel. He comes back and tells him the Americans are waiting for him. Al-Sadar is furious.
INCITING INCIDENT: Al-Sadar openly defies the US Military, Reese and his unit and attacks the family despite their security, He manages to kill an American Soldier.Al-Sadar AJ 8: Al-Sadar is injured but he cannot go to a hospital He vows revenge on Reese and his men.
Deeper Layer: Al-Sadar is deeply committed to killing everyone involved with the coalition forces. He believes what he is doing is an act of war to rid the country of the infidels. Despite this he knows no amount of dead soldiers will ever compensate him for the murder of his family.
Reese PJ 6: Reese is also injured but will not return stateside.
Al-Sadar AJ 9: Al-Sadar threatens the local Sheik who protects the Americans for safe passage money. Al-Sadar attacks the family home and kills the father in front of his children despite being warned not to.
TURNING POINT 2: The father is killed in front of the family. Reese i saved by the QRF at the last second.
Al-Sadar AJ 10: Al-Sadar makes another attempt to kill the mother but fails.
DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: SFC Reese contacts the South Dakota congressman who agrees to sponsor them. He then walks the paperwork into the State Department personally. SFC Reese reveals to the widow how he lost his brother and the revenge he took on the rival gang members.ACT THREE: Rethinking Everything: Reese and his soldiers ignore orders and put themselves in harms way to save the wife and children defying military directives.
Old ways: The unit and the family are dealing with an unresponsive slow bureaucracy that will not help them. The unit tells the family “we are not personal bodyguards for anyone” betraying the family by adhering to the old ways and thinking.
Turning Point/Huge failure/Major shift: Reese decides to fight fire with fire using the press to force career opticians in the State department to do the right thing infuriating the powers that be. He gives an exclusive to NBC calling out the asylum policies of the State Department.
Reese PJ 7: During a Congressional Visit Reese takes the delegates to the families home and exposes the State Department refusal to give the Widow and the Children Asylum. This infuriates the Ambassador but he can do nothing when the Congressman offers to sponsor the family. An emergency Visa is issued. The catch is the family must go through a waiting period imposed by the Iraqi Government.
Al-Sadar 11: Al-Sadar has stepped up his attacks on Baghdad and the Americans. He finds out about the plans to take the widow to America and orders she be killed.
Turning Point: Following an early morning patrol several members of the military are killed despite safe passage money. Reese visits a Sheik and wants intel on Al-Sadar or he cut off the cash flow. The Sheik gives up Al-Sadar.
Reese PJ 8: Following the death of the soldiers on patrol Reese says he has intel on Al-Sadar and he will find him. The command does not want Al-Sadar alive. This is the tradeoff for getting the family out.
Al-Sadar AJ 12: Al-Sadar feeds his mole false intel to set up Reese and his unit. Reese recognizes it as a trap and sells the initiative to take on Hifa Street to clear out the terrorists once and for all.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Reese PJ 9 : Reese and his unit go on the offensive actively seeking out confrontation with the terrorists, openly defying the military and the State Department.
In an early morning raid in another part of Baghdad several terrorist and bomb makers are killed but this was a distraction that Reese uses to raid Al-Sadar’s hideout.
Al-Sadar AJ 13: In his last breath before Reese kills him he tells him you are taking nothing that hasn’t already been lost, Al-Sadar may have been saying he will be finally at peace.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>ACT 4: Al-Sadar 13. Reese and his unit take the wife and her children to the interpreter’s grave openly defying terrorists threats before taking the family out of Baghdad.
Deep Layer Reveal: The widow and Reese have become very close as well as the children. He has saved them but more importantly himself and shows that his mistakes don’t have to label him for the rest of his life. Reese finally calls his parents with whom he has not spoken to in years.
The family relocates to America, freedom and safety.
Reese saves his military career and restores his belief in the system he believed failed the family
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Alyssa’ Beat Sheet – Draft 1
One Sentence Vision: I want to be the best writer I can be and a go-to writer in the industry, crafting scripts that become successful movies which make a lasting impact on people.
What I learned from this assignment is…how important it is to draft things out beat by beat. I am finding where my story “pain points” are and what I need to work on to smooth things out.
Genre: Action / Sci-fi
ACT 1: Alex becomes a Fate Runner and receives the Death Fortune
Opening
Alex PJ 1: Opening scene of Alex as a child: his father has the Death Fortune and tries to kill himself along with his wife and Alex- Alex escapes but both his parents die. (Wound)
Genre Convention: Open with action
Deeper Layer: Alex was the one who caused his father to receive the Death Fortune and “go crazy”
Alex PJ 2: 30 years later, Alex announces his secret project at a gala: he is creating a serum to free them from “gift of Fate” medical bands that keep them alive but also keep them as “slaves” (his belief). His speech is not well-received and he comes off as obsessed/desperate.
Deeper Layer: Alex is driven by guilt to destroy Fate like it destroyed his family (revenge/justice).
Nijara AJ 1/Deeper Layer (off screen): Nijara sends Alex the delayed fortune at the behest of Fate, concerned about what this serum could do.
INCITING INCIDENT: During his speech, Alex receives a delayed fortune to destroy the experiment in the next 15 minutes!
Genre Convention: Demand for action (ticking clock)
Alex PJ 3: Alex chooses to try to save the experiment which results in his assistant’s death and the experiment being destroyed anyway.
Deeper Layer: Guilt drives Alex to not give up on his goal even when it’s illogical/dangerous.
TURNING POINT 1: Alex receives the Death Fortune!
ACT 2: Alex recruits his semi-estranged wife, Celia, to help him escape death before time’s up.
Genre Convention: The hero must escape the inescapable
New Plan
Alex PJ 4: Alex heads to the precinct to recruit Celia to help him.
Nijara AJ 2: Nijara tries to kill Alex (elevators/transport) but he uses his wits to survive.
Alex PJ 5: Alex asks Celia to protect him for the day, she counters that no one can escape the Death Fortune. But she has a contact at the Church and maybe they can petition the Fate Walker to change his fortune IF he abandons his obsession.
Deception: Alex lies to Celia by agreeing to her terms without intending to follow through.
Secret: Celia’s fortune is to kill Alex, which she hides from him. She’s going to keep her promise to help him even if he doesn’t keep his.
Deeper Layer: Alex’s relentless obsession has been driving them towards divorce, although neither will admit it yet.
Plan in Action
Alex PJ 6: Alex and Celia head to the Church to request an audience with the Fate Walker. It’s denied, but a church member slips Alex a secret message to meet up later.
Nijara AJ 3: Nijara unleashes a mysterious assassin to make sure Alex dies as soon as possible.
Hidden Identity: The assassin is Parker, Celia’s partner at the precinct.
Secret: Parker is in love with Celia.
Alex PJ 7: Alex and Celia meet up with the church member in secret, who tells them his suspicions about the Church and the Fate Walker. A bomb goes off but Celia is able to save herself and Alex, while the church member dies.
Genre Convention: Escalating action, higher stakes (someone’s after Alex!)
Deeper Layer: Parker tries to lead Celia away (phone call) before detonation but the call doesn’t go through. She and Alex survive regardless.
Alex PJ 8: Alex and Celia enlist Parker’s help to gain access to where the Fate Walker is since the church member died before telling them (or he told them before dying, but they need help accessing).
Deeper Layer/Hidden Identity: Parker wants to kill Alex but can’t because of Celia’s presence. They don’t know he’s the assassin!
Nijara AJ 4: Parker communicates with Nijara, who gives him permission to help Alex and Celia find/meet her. (This may be off-screen, depending on if I want the audience to know it’s Parker yet- not sure)
Deeper Layer: Nijara is planning to kill them both!
Genre Convention: Antagonist who is clearly corrupt / malicious
Alex PJ 9: Alex and Celia meet Nijara. Their conversation quickly escalates, resulting in Alex pulling a gun on Nijara and her revealing she is able to mind/band control them both (limited power/control though- make this clear and make sense).
Nijara AJ 5: Nijara reveals the truth about the AI to Alex and Celia once she has them in her power.
Deeper Layer: Nijara believes she is a partner with the AI (deception on the part of the AI)
DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Nijara and the AI are controlling people behind the scenes!
DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Alex finds out Celia is fated to kill him!
TURNING POINT 2 – MIDPOINT: Alex discovers the truth about who Fate really is and Nijara accidentally reveals the missing piece for his serum (working on this part). Alex and Celia escape!
Genre Convention: Demand for action (fighting/escaping/running)
Rethink Everything & New Plan
Alex PJ 10: Alex needs to break into his lab, which is scheduled for incineration, to finish the serum before all his data is lost. They recruit his lead tech, Lila, who helps get them access.
Nijara AJ 6: Nijara is severely reprimanded for letting someone leave with the knowledge of the AI. She raises the stakes for Parker to kill Alex: if he fails, he dies next.
Deeper Layer: Nijara has never been scolded like this by the AI, as if she was a wayward child.
Alex PJ 11: Alex finishes the serum right as the incineration begins and Parker arrives to finish him off, creating multiple dangers. Celia is able to grab the serum before it’s destroyed and they escape.
Deeper Layer: In order to kill Alex, Parker has to kill Celia, and he can’t do it, which allows them time to escape.
Genre Convention: Demand for action (fighting/escaping/running)
Nijara AJ 7: Nijara is ordered to go herself and make sure Alex dies or she’ll lose her position as AI’s confidant/hands and feet. (Something to this effect- stakes for her).
Alex PJ 12: The robots in the city all turn hostile towards Alex, forcing him and Celia to go into hiding. With no way out, Alex takes the serum.
Deeper Layer: He has to know if it worked (still obsessed, hasn’t quite changed yet).
Alex PJ 13: The chemicals from the band interact badly with the serum and Alex starts to lose his mind. Celia cuts off his arm/hand with the band on it, although that action may also kill him.
TURNING POINT 3: Alex doesn’t die revealing that his serum works! But there was only one vial: now Alex’s mind and blood hold the secret. If he dies, so does the chance of freedom.
ACT 3: Alex must get across the city to give his blood and instructions to Lila before Fate wins (time is almost up).
Alex PJ 14: Alex and Celia hijack a sky car to quickly get across the city although the robots are closing in.
Genre Convention: Escalating action (car chase!) and higher stakes (they have to save the whole city!)
Alex PJ 15: Alex and Celia split up in the middle of the chase in separate cars; since Alex’s band is off, he can’t be tracked and Celia can distract.
Climax
Nijara AJ 8: Nijara’s robots chase and takes down Celia’s car giving Alex a clean getaway.
Alex PJ 16: Alex can’t leave Celia behind so he crashes his car, taking out the robots but wounding himself. Both Celia and Alex are injured and vulnerable.
Transformational Journey: Putting himself and his goal in jeopardy to save someone he loves, from selfish ambition to selfless sacrifice.
Nijara AJ 9: Nijara arrives, takes control of Celia and orders her to kill Alex. Alex encourages her to do it.
Deeper Layer: Alex cares too much about Celia to let her die for him, even if it dooms the world. His arc is complete.
Alex (Celia) PJ 17: Celia is able to fight the mind control (working on how/specifics) and kills Nijara instead of Alex.
Alex PJ 18: They think they’ve won but Parker arrives and fatally shoots Alex.
DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Parker is the assassin! (Reveal for Celia, possibly audience- not sure yet)
Alex PJ 19: Alex dies one minute AFTER the deadline, beating fate after all. Celia receives the Death Fortune and takes a vial of Alex’s blood: she will finish his mission and free everyone.
Nijara AJ 10: Nijara is reborn as a clone, revealing that she is more of a slave than anyone else. Her AI master wants to “ramp things up.”
Deeper Layer: Nijara starts to wonder if she’s on the wrong side.
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Module4 Lesson 3: Beat Sheet Part 1
Marguerite Langstaff: The Billionaire in 501
I want to learn to write and market movie scripts.
What I learned doing this assignment: It’s time to move on.
State/Activity: I am absolutely capable of creating a sequence of events for my Beat Sheet.
4-act structure: #1: GM arrives at Shady Acres, meets Pappy, who finds out she doesn’t have enough money to pay the rent.
#2. GM meets with groups and starts her business.
#3The business fails…big time!
Act 4: Climax : GM surprises with having her advising column business.
Protag Journey Structure: GM seeks a business.
Antag Journey Structure: Pappy wants to help in spite of GM’s wanting to do it herself.
Deeper layer: GM & Sam work on computer project.
Genre: Conventions with drama and comedy in Shady Acres with GM, Pappy, Sam and the residents there. a
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Margaret’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1
Vision: To be the best screenwriter for Faith-Based Movies
What I learned: The opening I previously had envisioned needed to be changed to account for the deeper layers.
AJ, Deeper Layer. Opening: A crow flies over Mt. Cruachan. Standing on an outcropping of rock, MORRIGAN, the queen of the otherworld, looks as if she is in a trance, seeing a vision. She breaks out of the trance, screaming that Ireland is hers, the people are hers, no one will take them from her. (What she sees is secret, but it is a reveal to her that a human will take the allegiance of the Irish away from her and turn their hearts to God.)
PJ: Inciting Incident: A boy (TEEN PATRICK), running away from his father’s plan to have him serve in the church, and his sister, ALITA, are kidnapped and taken to Ireland.
AJ Deeper Layer: By page 10, you know what the movie is about: Morrigan attempts to kill Patrick, who she believes is the fulfillment of the prophecy, she is shapeshifted into a wolf but we don’t know it is Morrigan.
PJ: When confronted by a savage wolf, Patrick cries out to God. The angel Victor saves Patrick. The wolf whines and backs away. Patrick recognizes God’s power and commits his life to serve him.
AJ: Patrick escapes his master and heads towards the coast and freedom.
PJ: A starving Patrick is saved by a family in a remote area, and fends off the temptation to stay with them.
AJ Deeper Layer: Morrigan, shapeshifted into an Irish peasant girl, attempts to seduce Patrick so that he cannot fulfill the prophecy.
AJ: Patrick finds passage back to England.
PJ Deeper Layer: Morrigan, shapeshifted into a sailor, helps Patrick gain passage onto a ship so that he will leave Ireland.
AJ: First turning point at end of Act 1: Patrick, now an ordained priest, leaves for Ireland, against his parent’s pleas to not make them face losing their son again.
Act 2:
New Plan: Evangelize the Irish.
PJ: New Plan in Action: Patrick returns to his former Master, MILCHO, in an attempt to evangelize him.
AJ: Morrigan thwarts Patrick’s plan by threatening Milcho with an afterlife of torture if he listens to Patrick.
AJ: Mid-Point Turning Point: Influenced by Morrigan, Patrick’s previous master commits suicide rather than be converted to Christianity. Patrick realizes the Irish will never accept Christianity unless it is the religion of their king, so he vows to go to the King and do whatever he can to convert him.
Act 3.
PJ: Rethink everything: On his way to the king, Patrick is met by druids. By the power of God, Patrick is able to keep the druids from killing him. One of the druids, DUBTACH, sees Patrick’s power and converts.
AJ: Morrigan attempts to keep Patrick from the King. She orders the chief druid, BACRAH, to keep Patrick from the king. Bacrah uses magic but Patrick’s power is greater.
AJ: Patrick makes his way to the king, attempts to evangelize him but the king dies before turning to God.
PJ: Morrigan strikes the king dead so that the people will not turn to Patrick’s God.
New Plan: Go after the High King!
REVEAL: Patrick is the human Morrigan fears and she has been shapeshifting to prevent him from evangelizing.
AJ: Turning point at end of Act 3: The people fear both Patrick and Morrigan. The High King states he will only listen to Patrick if he faces Morrigan. He climbs mount Cruachan to pray and faces the onslaught of the otherworld.
PJ: Morrigan attempts to turn Patrick from his mission. Patrick refuses to bow to her and show fear. In her anger, she blasts a piece of the mountain away, hurls it into the valley where it is eventually named the Rock of Cashel, vowing that he will never win the hearts of the Irish.
Act 4:
AJ: Crisis: Patrick cannot overcome the otherworld creatures and is consumed by doubt and fear. He is faced with his own motivation for evangelizing and comes to understand that the Irish are enslaved by a religion based on fear and his own tactics have only increased their fear. He realizes that if he loves the Irish, he must show them the power of God’s love. He decides to return to the High King and share the message of God’s love and forgiveness without relying on the powerful signs that evoke fear, even if it means his death.
AJ, PJ: Climax: As Patrick nears the castle, he is challenged by Morrigan and the underworld creatures, who fight to destroy him and the king’s army rather than see the Irish leave their paganism.
AJ: Resolution: When the king hears Patrick’s message of God’s love and promise of freedom from fear, he accepts Patrick’s God.
PJ: Morrigan is banished by the High King.
Epilogue: Patrick ministers at a church set on the Rock of Cashel.
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Lenore Bechtel’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1.
My vision: I want to create enough salable screenplays that an agent will want to market my work and recommend me for writing assignments.
What I learned from doing this assignment is that composing a beat sheet assures that reveals and turning points happen at the best possible moment in the script.
My Title: Berlin Rendezvous?
Concept: Keeping her promise to Zhores, the Russian soldier she loved until the Berlin Wall went up in 1961, Libby—flying to meet him when the Wall is coming down in 1989—is stunned to learn how her seat-mates lives intertwined with theirs.
Dramatic triangle: Codes for this assignment are PJ for Libby, FR for Freida, and AL for Allison. The antagonist is the travel industry making it difficult for the three to get to Berlin.
Genre: Drama/Suspense
ACT 1: Libby, Freida, and Allison get airplane seats together.
PJ 1: Libby persuades Chicago O’Hara ticket agent of the vitalness for her to get to Berlin on the very day the Wall comes down to meet the Russian soldier she loved and lost when the Wall went up.
AL 1: Allison, with violin, pretends to be with Libby and buys her ticket with a credit card.
FR 1: Freida asks Libby to help count out the right amount of cash.
AL 2: On the plane, Allison explains she has run away from Interlochen to keep an audition app’t with Claudio Abbado.
FR 2: Freida explains she is leaving San Francisco because of earthquakes.
DEEPER LAYER: Freida is wearing a looted pendant, taking it to her grandmother.
AL 3: Brushing away questions about herself, Allison urges Libby to tell how she met a Russian soldier in 1961, showing she knows about the Wall.
PJ 3: Libby narrates as Young Libby’s story emerges In flashback.
Marilyn 1: At Shellenberg Park, Marilyn explains that Libby’s birth father, the Major, couldn’t have her visit until their recent marriage.
DEEPER LAYER: Libby resents having seen her father only four times and the infrequent postcards he sent. She’s also frightened to be in charge of 10-year-old Stephanie as Marilyn and the Major both go to work, but doesn’t say so.
FR 3: Freida envies Young Libby’s boldness, so unlike her hesitancy to get around in San Francisco, which she’s happy to be leaving.
Helga: Helga and her 10-year-old sister Sonja talk Libby into going with them to a department store to buy clothes and layer them on their bodies to sneak back to East Germany.
Heinz: Heinz, a vopo guard and Helga’s boyfriend, waves them through the crossing point to the East. He is friend to a Russian soldier, Zhores, and Helga offers to fix Libby up with him for a double date.
INCITING INCIDENT 1: Soldier comes to Helga’s home to take Libby and Allison back to the West.
Young Libby: Furious at the Major for having her followed, she tells Helga she’d like to go with Zhores on a double date.
AL 4: Allison admires Young Libby’s spunk in showing the Major her independence—exactly the kind of person she wants to be.
DEEPER LAYER: She actually wishes she didn’t have to make so many big decisions on her own, although she’s proud that they trust her so much.
TURNING POINT 1: The major interrogates Zhores and allows Young Libby to date him.
Zhores: Zhores fills Libby in on the politics of the war that caused Berlin to be split between the Americans and the Russians. His 16-year-old father, already a cellist with the Moscow Symphony, was killed, but not before one night of passion with his mother, without which he would not have been born.
REVEAL 1: AL 5: Allison says she hopes she was conceived with such passion, but her mother would not even reveal her father’s name. Her grandparents promised to tell her when she was old enough to understand.
REVEAL 2: FR 4: Freida says the sex talk makes her miss Stuart so much, and Libby hides her surprise that her son was also named Stuart, and married to a German girl named Freida.
ACT 2: PJ 4: Libby narrates Young Libby’s actions up until the Wall goes up and she helps sneak Helga and her family out of the West.
Heinz: Heinz tells Young Libby about his obsession to find his mother who left him as a newborn with a sorrowful note in a drawer outside an orphanage.
Helga: She’s concerned about Heinz drinking too much because he hates his vopo job.
REVEAL: FR 5: Freida says Stuart has something of an obsession about his mother, who has always neglected him and didn’t even come to their wedding.
TURNING POINT 2: Bells ring, cars honk, sirens sound as Sputnik passes above.
Zhores: Zhores talks about the high stakes between Russia and the USA.
REVEAL 3: AL 6: Allison recalls her grandparents telling her about Sputnik going over Berlin just a few days before the Wall went up.
Zhores: Zhores tells that his grandmother is a refusenik who wouldn’t let him be brainwashed by the communists. He wants to bring about change.
TURNING POINT 3: Young Libby and Zhores are on the lawn kissing when Heinz, very drunk and hating what he’s doing, helps another vopo put up orange posts and barbed wire.
PJ 5: Libby explains that during several days it took to complete the Wall, she begged Zhores and Helga and her family to stay in the West while they had the chance.
The Major: The Major helps in a risky plan to Helga and her family get out and later helps Young Libby have one last meeting with Zhores—the meeting that gave birth to their son Stuart.
REVEAL 4: FR 6: Helga’s devotion to her family makes Freida miss Stuart more. She’s sorry she left only a note for him, with a receipt for picking up pictures of their before-and-after earthquake damage. She’s sorry she ever thought poorly of him for making a living playing a child’s game.
PJ 6: Libby’s son Stuart is first baseman for the San Francisco Giants. She now tells Freida that she’s her daughter-in-law.
REVEAL 5: FR7: Coaxed by Libby and Allison, Freida tells her pendant story and becomes convinced that she can go back to Stuart, either return the pendant or buy it, and would not face jail time in the USA.
ACT 3: During the 6-hour Paris layover, the three go to the Louvre, miss their Berlin connection, and fly to Hamburg where they rent a car.
AL 7: Allison intends to take a taxi alone to the Louvre, but Libby won’t allow it.
PJ 7: Libby weeps as Allison plays “Mona Lisa” and draws a crowd at the Louvre.
FR 8: Freida whisks them both from the Louvre to the curb outside.
PJ 8: Libby become discouraged when she can’t get a taxi to stop.
TURNING POINT 4: FR 9: Freida becomes a sexy provocateur and lures a driver to stop. Finding their seats to Berlin were given away, she comes up with the plan to fly to Hamburg and drive a car from there to Berlin.
PJ 9: Libby, knowing Freida thinks she neglected her son, begins the narration of about the trip they took together to visit Helga and Heinz in 1974. Heinz is elated that his American mother found him after all these years. Flashback shows young 15-year-old Stuart and 14-year-old Olga going to baseball games, playing catch, and having batting contest.
REVEAL 6: AL 8: Allison confides that her mother was only 14 when she was born in 1975, just two weeks after her grandparents and mother immigrated to the USA.
FR 10: At Hamburg airport Freida calls her mother to let her know she’s going to get Libby to Shellenberg Park before she comes home.
ACT 4: A Berliner drives them to the park and all three get what they want.
FR 11: Freida gives up on driving as they are stuck in traffic and pedestrian celebrants headed toward Brandenburg Gate.
AL 9: Allison jumps from the car, plays her violin while telling the urgency of getting to Shellenberg Park to meet her Russian grandfather for the first time. An admiring crowd blocks traffic and gives them an opening to get them to a back street. Allison asks for directions and memorizes them.
FR 12: Freida drives high speed as Allison gives directions and Libby closes her eyes and prays to get there in time.
STUART: Told by Freida’s mother where she would be, Stuart is waiting at the park and surprised to see his mother Libby.
AL 10: Allison is surprised to see her grandparents, Hank and Helen, who were Helga and Heinz before being found by Heinz’s mother and moving to the USA. They confirm that Stuart and Olga did more than play baseball when he visited and she, Allison, was the result. She jumps onto a bewildered Stuart.
REVEAL 7: STUART: Stuart tells Freida the jewelry store proprietor was glad to see the picture of Freida wearing the pendant which he wanted her to have and especially happy with the picture of the two looters which led to their arrest.
FR 12: Although Stuart offers to ask to be traded, Freida now wants to give San Francisco another try and hopes her new stepdaughter Allison will live with them.
AL 11: Allison says if she gets the job with the Berlin Philharmonic, she’d like to live with Freida’s mother.
PJ 10: Surrounded by jubilation, Libby is still tense until she sees Zhores coming over a hill.
CLIMAX: Allison, Freida, and Stuart stand by through Libby’s and Zhores’ prolonged, but tearful kiss, after which Libby introduces them as Zhores son, daughter-in-law, and granddaughter. Helen and Hank join into a group hug with exuberant laughter, drawing passing celebrants’ cheers.
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Hi, Cheryl I hope this is fine to post my assignment here.
It’s the one where Hal is talking about subtext. please let me know if there’s another way to send it or if I’m doing it right.
I want to be known as a great writer, one who is able to create a moving, compelling, story that touches on various social ills, as well as personal triumphs and tragedies that I can use to relate to others.
Subject line: Brian’s Subtext Plot
I learned that when characters have personal agendas and motives it helps them to be more human and relatable.
My concept deals with multiple cover ups and ulterior motives throughout. Whereas we see that the towns people are a lot of times worse than the vampires. We also questionable “good guys”. The ones I am using are 1. Scheme & Investigation, 2. Layering, and 3. Someone hides who they are
forums@http://screenwritingclass.com/forums
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H. Vince’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1
WIM Module 4 – 2023
Lesson 3: Beat Sheet Draft 1
My Vision: I am going to go to the theater in disguise and watch a movie I wrote and listen to the reactions of the audience.
What I learned from doing this assignment is…
Learning how the story entangles and is easily outlined to prepare for further detail and dialogue.
TITLE: DREAM VACATION
GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER
MAIN CONFLICT:
James starts developing dementia while he and his wife, Clara are on their retirement vacation. Clara has to take care of James and try to bring him back to the U.S. all while trying to figure out what happened to her husband.
CHARACTER STRUCTURE: DRAMATIC TRIANGLE
Beginning: Boarding Plane for Dream Retirement Vacation
CLARA PJ 1: Going on a dream retirement vacation with her spouse.
JAMES PJ 1: Going on a dream retirement vacation with his spouse.
Inciting Incident: James shows signs of memory loss
Surface Layer: James has what Clara thinks is dementia
Turning Point 1: Taking James to a foreign doctor and discovery of James’s anxiety
DR RIA AJ 1: Flashback to Dr. Ria offering new edible to patients
CLARA PJ 2: Experiencing emotions including fear and flashbacks
JAMES PJ 2: Confusion and memory loss in a foreign country
Turning Point 1: Flashback for James when he went to visit his doctor about his anxiety.
Act 2: GO HOME
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Clara books a flight home
CLARA PJ 3: Call kids
DR RIA AJ 2: Clinical trial medicine feedback pouring in
JAMES PJ 3: Continuous confusion and memory loss in a foreign country – tries to find a safe place
CLARA PJ 4: Wakes up and James has disappeared
Act 3: FIND JAMES
Turning Point 3: Clara draws courage and seeks help to find James.
CLARA PJ 5: With the help of the foreign doctor, Clara finds out James was part of some sort of clinical trial
DR RIA AJ 3: Dr. Ria suggesting James take part in a clinical trial for an edible to help his anxiety
CLARA PJ 6: Someone helps Clara find James
Act 4 Climax: Clara finds out that the edible James took what from a clinical trial that accelerated memory loss and he is still under clinical trial.
JAMES PJ 3: Told to get on a plane but he is fearful for his life not knowing where he is being taken.
DR RIA AJ 4: Receives notice that he is being sued and his medical license may be in jeopardy.
Resolution: CLINICAL TRIAL ENDS: DREAM VACATION RUINED
CLARA PJ 7: Fights to have beforehand caretaker medical knowledge if anyone will be affected by a clinical trial and/or medication prescription.
DR RIA AJ 5: Dr. Ria fights to maintain his reputation as a medical practitioner.
JAMES PJ 4: Cognitive abilities returning
CLARA: Diagnosed with cancer
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Melissa Barreca’s Beat Sheet Draft 1
My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.
What I learned…This was overwhelming at first but as I worked through it, things began to make sense and I gave myself permission to make changes as needed and stay nimble with thinking about the story arc and climax to make it even better.
Torn Away — Beat Sheet, Draft 1
Genre: Drama
Act 1: Coming to America…a dream quickly becomes a nightmare.
Empathy/Character Intro Protagonist, Norah Murphy – An immigrant family helps their daughter and son-in-law pack and depart for America. We meet Norah and Doyle, with two kids, a toddler girl and a five year old boy. We see how Norah and Doyle are sweet and good natured people who really love each other, their children and their families. We care about them and their journey. We want them to succeed.
PJ1 Norah – Beginning: Idealistic, intelligent but dependent on her husband and family. She is hopeful to make her dreams come true and takes the leap with her husband to journey to America to start a new life. She departs, travels and arrives in Ellis Island to a chaotic and dangerous world that does not match her expectations.
Empathy/Character Intro, Antagonist, Mick Kilcullen – Arrival in America. We meet Mick, Doyle’s childhood best friend. We think Michael is nice and the meeting is fun and familiar. He seems safe and familiar in a confusing world. (Unscripted backstory, antagonist, Mick that will be shown through clues: Beginning: He has a dream of a new life in America after he feels like his life in Ireland is doomed to failure (he is responsible for one of Norah’s sister’s disappearance but no one knows). He comes to America, meets his wife, has a child and everything is wonderful. Inciting Incident: His wife and child are killed in a violent episode caused by his gambling. He is crushed emotionally. Turning Point 1: Michael goes dark. As he is grieving his wife and child, he becomes bitter and blames all of his troubles on the people in Ireland that led him down this path.)
AJ1 Mick – His old friend Doyle and his old flame, Norah, arrive in New York. Mick is twisted with jealousy and hatred for them because of what they once were to him and because of what they have that he no longer has.
PJ2 – Settling in a new land. Getting jobs. Getting a tenement apartment. We see the poor street children. Norah wants to help them. Our hearts are wrenched by the reality of what they encounter in the new world versus their high hopes. And we care about the poor street children and their plight, lamenting that there isn’t more that can be done to help this crush of humanity in the industrial age. This is foreshadowing.
PJ3 – Things are hard. The apartment life is dismal. Doyle works too much. There is not enough money. They find they are pregnant and have a baby girl. Despite our hardships, we still have our love and our hope for the future; This shines through in the interactions between Norah, Doyle and their many neighbors who share their plight.
AJ2 – Turning Point: A night at the local parlor and too much whiskey leads Mick and Doyle into a fight. Mick becomes despondent and relates his bad luck to Doyle, who instead of providing sympathy, tells him that it was all his fault. Mick becomes enraged at Doyle and fixed on getting Norah, and manipulates Doyle into a bad deal that leads him into trouble with criminals who beat him and leave him for dead.
PJ4 – Inciting Incident – Doyle is “killed at the factory.” This is the story that Mick gives Norah two days after their drinking binge when Doyle still has not returned home. This is a horrible tragedy and we see Norah’s heart broken in the most painful and gut-wrenching way. What will she do with these children? How will she survive without her family in a strange new world. Norah must find a job and find help with the children. She begins to work as a garment maker in her home and it is brutal and low paid labor.
Hints: We see hints that Doyle is still alive. His body is never found. Some of his belongings are missing. The children say they said goodbye to daddy but no one knows what they mean. Doyle’s early scenes are filled with confusing moments that are chalked up to the nervousness of the long journey and big change.
AJ3 – Mick comes to her aid. Mick offers help to Norah. He slowly takes the place of Doyle. Mick is a familiar friend and she has to take his help, she has no choice. And he seems nice. He begins to offer the family food and coal – and whiskey – and weekly visits, but the suffering continues to worsen for them.
Surface Layer: Norah is an immigrant trying to make a better life in America, who has lost her husband and now must struggle to provide for her children on her own. Mick is a helpful friend from Ireland who tries to assist.
Influences Surface Story: Mick seems helpful but also too good to be true. Norah is trusting but has moments of doubt about Mick and about her decisions and the situation she has found herself in. We see Norah doubting but pushing doubts aside. We see Mick gaslighting her in small ways at first and then building to full emotional and mental control.
Deeper Layer: Mick is actually manipulating Norah’s whole life out of his own woundedness, and as an act of revenge against Doyle and a fulfillment of his twisted fantasies. In this section, we see his manipulations and we see Norah putting up with it.
PJ5 – Norah’s older children begin to spend time on the street and try to earn money to help the family – they are seven and four years old. They beg for food on the streets and help sell fruit for the grocer in the building. They see a lot of suffering in the neighborhood. Life is bleak.
PJ6 – Turning Point: Norah loses her infant daughter to cholera. This is an agonizing blow that changes Norah. The light has gone from her eyes. She is walking in pain and can barely cope. Norah is numb after the death of Doyle and her daughter.
Act 2: Better Off
PJ1 – Starving and Freezing – Norah is resisting full reliance on Mick and has only taken his charity, but it is not enough to help her feed her children and keep their apartment heated in New York’s brutal winter. She begins to drink at the grocery in their building. At first it’s just a drink or two. But it snowballs.
AJ1 – Killing Themselves – Mick is losing patience with Norah’s independence and decides that he must intervene if she is ever going to do what he believes is best – moving in with him and becoming his wife. He reports her to a local charitable group because he says he is worried about her and the children. We see Mick call them, but Norah doesn’t know it was him.
PJ2 – A home visit by the Children’s Home Society sees Norah being convinced that she is abusing her children by keeping them in squalor and the workers find that she has been drinking. She resists the call to give them up for adoption. She is holding out hope that she will be able to care for them.
AJ2 – Taken In – as the children beg, Mick has had enough. He lures them to the local foundation and tells the workers they need to be adopted. He could have kept them and helped them all, but he doesn’t want the burden of Doyle’s kids. This should be made clear.
PJ3 – Norah is summoned. She is drinking again. She tearfully agrees and believes she has no choice but to let them go. The separation is agonizing. Mick is supportive to Norah’s face and condescending to her when speaking with the workers behind her back, playing both sides.
We begin to see Mick really becoming the villain and we are outraged at his treatment of Norah, and even more, we are devastated that Norah is putting up with it and allowing Mick to mistreat her and her children, but we also sympathize. She really has almost no choice.
PJ4 – Norah spirals into a dark place. Dependent on Mick, without her children, she increasingly hits the bottle and submits to Mick’s will in exchange for his shelter and food. She gets pregnant and miscarries. She is depressed. Mourning her husband and missing her children. She feels like a failure and considers suicide.
We see Norah live in fear. She doesn’t know what to do and is allowing Michael to lord over her. Truly a low point and hopefully we won’t all abandon Norah in disgust, but will look at her and think about all of the times we have been weak and allowed people to take advantage of us.
Midpoint: A chance meeting with an old neighbor at the grocery bar who “was surprised she allowed Mick to take her beautiful children away” causes Norah to become aware that she was manipulated by Mick. She did not need to let the children go. It is Mick that wanted this. She is bitter, angry and — she stays and goes along with it. This is unbelievable for the audience who wants her to fight for her kids.
This is a moment that is filled with fate – this was not a chance meeting in reality but something that was “meant to be”. It is as if Norah is being nudged to do the right thing and somehow led down the right path.
AJ3: Mick has made Norah his own. They are a couple. He has her to himself. He feels like he is winning. Even when they lose their first child, he is hopeful that they will have more. He is oblivious to her pain and sees her only as an accessory he needs to control. We see their domestic “bliss” play out with Norah going through the motions as his “wife” and Mick telling her that she is not good enough.
Mick feigns concern and is helpful on the surface. We know Mick is not to be trusted and we are helpless as we watch Norah allow him to manipulate her while we know his true character and motives.
PJ4/Turning Point 2 – A Spark Moment – Mick nonchalantly tells Norah he has sold her wedding veil to pay for some whiskey. She is heartbroken and something in her snaps and she sees him for who he is. She has lost her last memento that reminds her of Doyle and her old life with the children. It lights a fire in her and reminds her of what used to be. She becomes convicted that she will do something. Norah will find them if it’s the last thing she does. We see her take the last bit of whiskey in her glass and pour it into the chamber pot.
PJ5 – Plan in action – We watch Norah finally start to wake up to Mick’s true character, but it is agonizingly slow. Every time she asks a question, we cheer. But when she doesn’t push further, we are so frustrated. She is so close to figuring this out. Norah finally meets the adoption agent who knows about her children. This is a pivotal moment emotionally and within the story. We have seen this man at work with the children and we know he is good. We can be gratified to see him connecting with Norah. We know he will care and do whatever he can to help.
Norah hatches a plan. She cannot support the kids. Her adoption agent has assured her that the kids are happy in a home of wealthy and loving parents. Creative, “aha moments” here for everyone. The creative thinking here just might work.
Adoption agent reveals that the family is looking for a domestic and he can get her the job. This is too good to be true. The first time we have felt hope in a while in this story. It should be celebrated.
AJ4 – Rage – When she is just about to find the children, Mick threatens her life and flies off the handle in a drunken rage. He wants her to himself. He doesn’t want the children in their lives. Norah sinks into submission – she dares not cross Michael for fear for her safety and the kids.
PJ6 – Placated again – Norah calms Mick with more whiskey and swears that she doesn’t want her children. He passes out. She is at a new low and has no idea what to do. This is the point where we get a little angry with Norah, our heroine. How could she know who Michael is and STILL allow him to control and manipulate her? We are disgusted by her weakness, but it rings true with the human condition.
Act 3: Flown the Coop
AJ1 – Missing – Mick awakes to find that Norah is gone. He breaks the few items of furniture they have in a fit of rage.
She decides to leave Michael in secret and go to the home of the children/new family and become their Nanny. We are a little scared for her, but so proud of her bravery. How will she do it? Will it work? Will she get caught?
PJ1 – Orphan Train – Norah rediscovers her purpose. She is boarding a train with adoption agents and children that are to be adopted, they have offered to bring her along on the journey in the hopes of reuniting her with her children. It has been one year since they left. They are now eight and five years old.
PJ2 – Norah helps orphan children, rediscovering her motherhood instincts – She helps the children at two stops of the train before getting to the town where her children have been adopted.
Turning Point 3: Norah is reunited with her children. The adoption agents have written the lovely couple that adopted them and explained the situation. They offer Norah a live-in position as a domestic servant where she can live in the house with the children. It seems like the happy ending we wanted.
The plan succeeds. Norah is reunited with her children. Things seem to be working out. This first meeting with her children again has to be an epic scene. We will cry major tears of joy as this mom is back with her kids at last.
AJ2 – Mick has gone off the deep end. He is back in the neighborhood looking for Norah. When he finds a friend with information, he interrogates her and ends up killing her. It’s brutal and scary. We fear for Norah and the children.
Act 4: Revenge and Fear
Act 4 Major Shift: Norah is working in the yard alone and is grabbed from behind and dragged off into a barn. We do not see her assailant.
PJ1 – Climax – Norah fights back. In the barn, it’s an all out brawl in the dark. Norah fights and claws with every fiber of her being. The attacker fiercely beats her and attempts to tie her up.
Major Reveal: The subdued Norah is tied and she is drug into the light. Her attacker is Doyle. She explodes in disbelief, anger, fear, confusion.
AJ1 – Mick arrives in a cart to take Norah back to New York. We find out that Doyle is alive and he was the reason that she was “given” to Mick. He has returned to find her and bring her back to Mick.
Doyle is the ultimate traitor who exchanged his wife for passage to America and a fresh start, faked his death with the help of Mick and has left his family to suffer at the hands of Mick the whole time.
Changes Reality: The husband she loved and mourned for turns out to be the ultimate traitor and abuser. The man who she thought was helping her is revealed as an abusive man who wanted to control her but actually her husband Doyle is the ultimate villain. Michael turns out to be more of a pathetic character than a criminal mastermind.
AJ2 – The disillusioned Mick believes that Norah will go back with him. He tries to take Norah into the cart, but she fights back with a hidden knife and kills him.
PJ2 – With Mick’s blood on her hands, Norah turns to her betrayer, Doyle. She is having a complete psychotic break with reality. She lunges at Doyle and cuts off his ear.
AJ3 – Doyle is backed into a corner. He admits that he has been tracking her since she left, lurking in the shadows, waiting for her moment. We are shocked to see him again because we thought she had lost him. Our image of him is shattered. From a strong and loving husband, to a weak and pathetic loser. He cries and screams.
PJ3 – The family runs to the barn. They see the carnage of Mick, and the cowering pathetic Doyle, and the glassy-eyed Norah and rush to her aid. She acted in self defense. The husband subdues Doyle and summons the police.
Resolution – Police are carting away Doyle and telling the group that he is a wanted man. The family agrees to allow Norah and the kids to stay, and Norah can raise them as part of one big extended family.
Final scene – The adoption agent is a de facto grandpa that visits often. Happiness, joy and a belief that all of our trials can end in triumph.
Resolution: Norah defeats Mick for good, and overcomes the betrayal of Doyle. She has regained her sense of power over her own destiny. She has reunited with her children, defeated the hold he had on her and she has become comfortable with her unique gifts and has come into her own as a strong woman and mother.
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BRIAN BULL – Beat Sheet – Draft 1
VISION!!!
My ultimate goal is to get my scripts from my hands to the SILVER SCREEN!!“What I learned from doing this assignment is…
I had already done most of the work for this assignment. I am anxious to continue on.The ONE THAT GOT AWAY – A Fisherman’s Tale
A fisherman is determined to catch the fish he blames for his younger brother’s death, however, in the end, it turns out the fisherman is the one who had gotten away.GENRE: DRAMA
ACT 1
Fish AJ 1: “The Fish” have been eating fisherman for a long time.Fish AJ 2: John and Jim caught a “good size” catfish the last time they went fishing.
Fish AJ 3: John and Jim leave “The Spot”
Opening: Two brothers, John and Jim are fishing in a remote Louisiana bayou and not having much luck. They talk as brothers do – last chance to fish before school starts, what the bayou means to them, joking about catching a “stick bass”. They run out of bait.
Hints: The mysterious disappearance of their father.
Influences Surface Story: John caught a good size catfish the day before, knows there are “bigger fish to fry” down there.
John PJ 1: Not giving up, John decides to try chicken from their sandwiches. Jim gives John a hard time about switching bait to chicken – likely to catch a ‘gator with it. John’s determined to catch something before going home.
Inciting Incident: John catches a “BIG ONE”!!! John struggles as he tries to reel in “The Fish”. Jim wants John to cut the line and let it go. John refuses. Jim is worried as he watches John as John tries with all his might to reel the fish in. John gets pulled into the water. Jim dives into the water with a knife and cuts the line. John emerges from the water and gets back into the boat. Jim never resurfaces.
Turning Point: John is left all alone in the boat with the realization Jim is gone.
ACT 2
Reaction: Since “The Incident”, John has gone fishing for “The Fish” for 25 years. Jim’s photo hangs in the garage and is a constant reminder of his failure at redemption! John takes the photo down and holds it in deep in thought – we know what he is thinking by the look on his face.
Plan In Action: John is gathering his fishing equipment. Fishing Pole, Tackle Box, Gloves, Spear, Etc.
Wife reminds John of his failures – nothing to show for his past attempts – sowing doubt.
Thinks he should give up and spend time with their son – tries to redirect John and have him focus on the present and not the past.
Wife suggests trying a different bait – John replies, “NEVER!!!” Wife suggestions are contradictory to John’s beliefs.
John sees a photo of his Grandfather with a huge catfish and wishes he could be successful like him. John finds encouragement to counteract the negativity displayed by his wife.
Influences Surface Story: Grandpa caught a massive catfish and John wants to be like him. John caught a good size catfish the day before, knows there are “bigger fish to fry” down there.
Midpoint Turning Point: John uncovers Jim’s fishing hat and packs it. The hat reinforces John’s determination to seek revenge and avenge Jim’s death!
Influences Surface Story: Jim’s disappearance after cutting the fishing line. Much like cat-and-mouse – this is a catfish-and-man – one individual trying to outmaneuver the other for 25 years.
ACT 3
Rethink: Stopping at a gas station/trading post, an old-timer recalls a fishing tale about the Native Indians who spoke of catfish so large one catfish could feed a village. John listens intently trying to decide if there is any truth to what the old-timer is telling him.Hints: The Old-Timer’s tale of the Native Indians catching catfish so big they could feed a village.
New Plan: John buys some dog chain, a javelin-like spear and a whole routtsierre cajun chicken.
Hints: “No swimming” sign.
John PJ 2John puts the boat in the water, places Jim’s fishing hat on the seat where Jim would be sitting if Jim were there, and heads for “The Spot”. Everything is reminiscent of the day of “The Incident”. The weather, the trees and the leaves blowing in the breeze, the Great Blue Heron flying upstream, the alligator on the shoreline, the clouds in the sky, the insects buzzing the surface of the water.
Fish AJ 4: John is back fishing at “The Spot”.
John PJ 3: Arriving at “The Spot”, John is very much “in-tune” with his surrounding and what it is he is doing; he does everything just like he always has – just like the day of “The Incident”. John has the same results that he has had for the past 25 years. John grows weary.
Turning Point: John reels his line in and finds an empty hook and he’s out of bait. Frustration sets in. John takes Jim’s fishing hat and places it on his head for good luck.
ACT 4
New Plan: John decides to try the whole routtsierre cajun chicken he picked up from the gas station/trading post as bait.
Fish AJ 5: John changes bait to rotisserie cajun chicken and “The Fish” knows that it is John.
Fish AJ 6: “The Fish” takes the bait and the power struggle begins, ultimately ending with “The Fish” and John face-to-face.
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: John hooks “The Fish” and the power struggle begins, many of the same tactics “The Fish” used when he was a kid are used again, but John is prepared for each one of them. He manages to reel “The Fish” in; just a little closer so he can harpoon it with his spear. Face-to-face with “The Fish” John sees that he has indeed managed to catch the biggest catfish in Louisiana history!!!
John then realizes, “I’m the one you were after – I’m the One That Got Away!”Resolution: Leaning over the edge of the boat, John is engulfed by “The Fish” thus leaving an empty fishing boat floating in the midst of the water. Jim’s fishing hat floats a short distance away from the boat.
CREDITS ROLL
Fish AJ 7: “The Fish” eats hat.
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My vision: I am going to be an empowered, wonderful writer that’s known for great dialogue and great characters that win audiences’ hearts. What I learned from this assignment is how helpful each of the other modules is before getting to this beat sheet. Also, it’s helping get more of a full vision of my story.
2. Starting with your 4-Act Structure, add the following components into your story to create the first draft of your Beat Sheet.
Genre Conventions: Thriller/ Dark
Comedy4-Act StructureAct 1: Cora is told by “God” that if she doesn’t fix this she will remain stuck in limbo forever. (When filming it will look like a jail cell- dark bare bones)
Calvin PJ1: Calvin makes a bet at a high stakes poker game that he can outbid/ out perform Jerry Brokmeir and finally get promoted. Wins the hand. The next day is 100% swindled/ thwarted by Jerry Brokmeir at a golf game with clients and CEO. Jerry steals the show and the credit.
Cora AJ1: Cora helps Calvin nip this in the bud once and for all. Inciting Incident: Calvin is passed over for a promotion that he deserved. Deeper Layer: It turns out that Cora actually is the one that needs Calvin and keeps him hooked on calling her.
Turning Point 1: Cora’s guidance doesn’t work this time.
Act 2: Calvin PJ2: Calvin has a colossal melt down. (filmed like a music video)
Cora AJ2: Cora begins to panic, feeling she is losing her touch and her hold on Calvin.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Calvin comes out of his epic breakdown and rises like a phoenix owning his power.
Act 3: Turning Point 3: Rebecca cracks into Calvin’s phone
DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Calvin has been “calling” all this time; Cora has been dead for 30 years.
Calvin PJ3: Calvin ditches his phone, has a stroke of genius, and goes to Italy to propose his deal. Cora
AJ3: Cora tries “calling” Calvin incessantly to no avail and begins to unravel.
Act 4 Climax: Cora & Calvin a final meeting of the minds before going their separate ways (maybe even at a poker table or just a 2 shot in dark rooms each on a phone)
Cora AJ4: Cora manages to locate Calvin’s new phone and dials. Close up on her as we hear the eternal ring with no answer.
Calvin PJ4: Calvin gets the Italian deal, returns home to claim his new life, and convince Rebecca of his sanity.
Resolution: Flashback: Cora seals a letter. Calls 16 year old Calvin ends the call saying in her lavish way (like the Cheshire Cat):“Don’t be good just be great.”
Calvin’s resolution:Calvin and Rebecca move to Napa/ Sonoma and start a winery.
The screen goes to black and very quickly cut to a beautiful table at a winery (trees and vineyards) The voice of Cora starts reading the letter.
End fade to black.
Roll credits.
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Adrienne Watkins Beat Sheet Draft 1 Module 4 lesson 3
My Vision: I am going to work as hard as I reasonably am able to succeed at script writing to be recognized by multiple movie producers as a skilled script writer, and to have my scripts produced worldwide.
What I have learned from this assignment layer, structure and characters journey important in developing scripts.
Act Structure: Fransie is a deaf beautician that is orphaned, meets Roy a divorced jazz musician that has vowed never to fall in love again. Fransie teaches him rhythm by touch while dealing with her insecurities about being an orphan. Flavia, Roy’s business manager, is in love with Roy and jealous of Fransie. She plots to break them up.
Protagonist Journey: Fransie dances to deal with her insecurities, Roy is intrigued by her natural body movement to the music, even thou she’s deaf. She agrees to teach him how, being deaf she feels the vibrations of music because she needs the money. Her landlord does not want her to turn her apt into a beauty salon, but she lost her shop, so sneaks her customers in her apt. Meanwhile Fransie senses Flavia’s jealousy toward her, both do not know they are sisters separated at birth.
Antagonist Journey: Flavia is in love with Roy. She helped him through his divorce and believes eventually he’ll fall in love with her. Flavia has a natural ability to write music, unknown to her Fransie and her are sister, separated at birth. She schedules Roy on a concert tour to separate him and Fransie.
Deeper Layer: Fransie believes she will never have a family, her adopted parents have both died so she immerses herself in music to deal with her inner securities and bouts of sadness. She became a cosmetician because she feels she’s not pretty and wants to make others beautiful. Roy loved his first wife, and she left him for a younger man, he has promised himself never to marry again, but he is falling in love with Fransie. Flavia arrogance makes her feel Roy will fall in love with her and marry her, but she’s unaware her and Fransie are sisters.
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Veronica Turowski’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1
What I learned from doing this assignment is combining the journeys made it easier for me to find the plot holes.
My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts yearly and then sells them to producers who create my vision for the big screen.
Concept: After a professional mourner is told by a ghost during his funeral that he was murdered by a serial killer, she tries to prove him wrong so he can pass over, only to discover that she is a ghost and is the mother of the serial killer.
Title: Grave Justice
Genre: Supernatural Thriller
ACT 1: Lonnie is checking the chemicals in the church baptismal. The lights go out. A man attacks him. Lonnie is pushed headfirst into the church baptismal, breaks his neck and drowns. The police consider it an accident.
Hayden AJ 1: Hayden kills Lonnie.
Lonnie PJ 1: Lonnie is killed by Hayden.
DEEPER LAYER: Lonnie is a couple of years older than Hayden. He was in seminary school while Hayden was finishing high school. Lonnie’s younger brother killed himself when he became possessed. Lonnie persuaded Hayden’s friends to get out of a Satanic cult and turn to Jesus, but Hayden was already possessed. Hayden kills Lonnie because he felt Lonnie betrayed him.
Eppsa PJ 1: Eppsa attends Lonnie’s funeral. She talks to Lonnie, but when he tells her he was murdered by a serial killer, she panics, realizes he’s a ghost, and runs off. Lonnie chases her. She crosses the street and looks back to see if he’s still following her. When he’s in the middle of the street, he’s about to be hit by an ice cream truck but disappears instead.
Hayden AJ 2: Hayden and his 15-year-old son sell ice cream from an ice cream truck.
Lonnie PJ 2: Lonnie tells Eppsa that since she can see him, he needs her help. He doesn’t remember his attacker, but he knows the name of the next victim. He chases her and vanishes as he’s hit by an ice cream truck driven by Hayden.
Eppsa PJ 2: Eppsa nervously talks to her neighbor for advice. The neighbor suggests talking to her clairvoyant friend.
DEEPER LAYER: Lonnie knows that Eppsa is a ghost, but Eppsa doesn’t know she’s dead.
INCITING INCIDENT: Eppsa is visiting a clairvoyant, Clover. She decides she’s too embarrassed to talk about Lonnie, so she asks Clover to help her find Hayden. Eppsa is unaware that Clover only senses her presence as a ghost. Clover can’t locate Hayden just like in the prior sessions because he’s not dead. She senses an evil spirit and wants to know if Eppsa has seen any ghosts. Eppsa says no. Clover warns her that an evil spirit is trying to attach itself to her and to be cautious. An evil spirit interrupts them by causing chaos. They are afraid. Clover falls ill, and Eppsa leaves the store, unaware of the supernatural events about to unfold.
Lonnie PJ 3: Lonnie scares Eppsa when he appears in her house. He tells her the name of the next victim before she scares him off.
Eppsa PJ 3: Eppsa is terrified when Lonnie appears in her house. She thinks he’s the evil spirit trying to attach himself to her. She throws things to scare him away.
TURNING POINT 1: Eppsa discovers the name of the next victim Lonnie gave her was real.
Eppsa PJ 4: In the obituary, Eppsa reads the name of the man Lonnie gave her.
ACT 2: Eppsa goes to the cemetery to confront Lonnie. He gives her the name of another victim.
Eppsa PJ 5: Eppsa goes to the cemetery. She is armed with things to ward off evil.
Lonnie PJ 4: Lonnie apologizes to Eppsa for scaring her. He tells her the name of the next victim. He doesn’t know the connection or the next victim.
Eppsa PJ 6: Eppsa reads the name of the victim Lonnie gave her. She calls the police. They have a bad connection, and they tell her to call back. She tries again. It’s staticky. They tell her to come in.
DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: The cop only hears static on the phone because she’s a ghost.
Eppsa PJ 7: Eppsa is at the police station waiting to talk to someone. The cop tells her to wait and be patient. She checks her watch because she has a funeral to attend. A cop points in her direction and motions her over. She passes by Hayden who is in a chair.
Hayden AJ 3: Hayden is at the police station to receive an award for trying to save someone. His wife and son are proud of him.
DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden is a good liar and manipulator. People love him. He killed the person but made it look like he was trying to save them.
Hayden AJ 4: At the station, Hayden shivers when Eppsa’s spirit passes him.
DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: He feels the spirit of his mother when she passes him.
Eppsa PJ 8: From across the room, Eppsa hears a cop yell to Hayden for his good work. She turns from the cop that supposedly called her over and rushes after Hayden, but he and his family are out the door. She overhears cops standing at their car say these last few deaths were because they tried dangerous TikTok challenges.
Lonnie PJ 5: Lonnie appears outside the police station. He watches Eppsa run out. He goes over to her to tell her there’s going to be another victim, but Eppsa is afraid of him and tells him to leave her alone and she’s going to be late for a funeral.
Hayden AJ 5: Hayden volunteers at a homeless shelter. He passes out ice cream to everyone there. He sees an old high school friend who lives at the shelter. Hayden tells him they will get together next week.
Lonnie PJ 6: Lonnie summons a bored little girl from a funeral to come over to him. He wants her to pass a message on to Eppsa. The next victim is a church member.
Eppsa PJ 9: Eppsa is late to a funeral. A little girl from the funeral comes up to her before she’s at the gravesite to tell Eppsa what Lonnie told her. (I don’t know if the little girl is alive and can see ghosts or if she’s a ghost, too.) Eppsa rushes into the church to find the address of the church member on the computer to check on them. Pastor Palmer McKee catches her in the office. She apologizes and leaves.
Hayden AJ 6: Hayden and Evren sell ice cream in a ritzy neighborhood. He plays classical music for the parents but jokes around with the kids, making him respectful yet fun.
Eppsa PJ 10: Eppsa walks up to the front door and knocks. No answer. It’s locked. She goes around back. The door is unlocked. She goes inside and sees the woman dangling. The woman’s husband enters the front door, walks into the kitchen to find his dangling wife. Eppsa runs.
Hayden AJ 7: Hayden throws Evren an early birthday party. One of the kids’ parents was Hayden’s friend from school and will be another victim.
DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden discovers a dad of Evren’s friend was one of his high school friends who moved back to town.
TURNING POINT 2 / MIDPOINT: Eppsa talks to Clover.
Eppsa PJ 11: Eppsa turns to Clover to see if she can help reveal the name of the serial killer. Clover can’t help her. Lonnie appears. Clover says there’s an evil presence. Things fly. Eppsa tells Clover she’s being haunted by Lonnie’s evil spirit.
Lonnie PJ 7: Lonnie talks to Eppsa when she is with Clover. Clover can’t hear him.
DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: The evil spirit is Eppsa’s dead husband.
Hayden AJ 8: Hayden and Evren go to the soup kitchen in the ice cream truck.
DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden’s searching for his next victim.
Eppsa PJ 12: Eppsa hears a crash outside her house. She rushes to see. She calls the police. They can’t hear her on the phone. She rushes outside to help. There’s a swarm of people and a police siren in the distance. She sees the ghost of a young woman walking away from the accident. The young woman looks at Eppsa and signals her over. Eppsa is afraid. The young woman disappears. Eppsa freaks out and slams her door.
Eppsa PJ 13: Eppsa’s neighbor helps calm her. An evil spirit comes after them. The neighbor flees. Eppsa hides. She hears a crash upstairs. She goes upstairs and finds a picture on the floor and an amulet hanging on the wall in Hayden’s old room.
DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: The ghost who is haunting Eppsa, which is her ghostly husband, wants her to find the amulet.
Hayden AJ 9: Hayden meets with his old friend whom he got reacquainted with at Evren’s party.
ACT 3: Eppsa discovers Hayden was friends with all the victims and fears he is on the list. Lonnie helps Eppsa realize she’s a ghost.
Eppsa PJ 14: Eppsa has a nightmare about her husband killing Hayden and himself. She tells her neighbor about the recurring nightmare.
Eppsa PJ 15: Eppsa meets with Clover to get rid of Lonnie. Lonnie materializes during the session. Lonnie gives Eppsa the name of the next victim. An evil entity causes havoc. Clover says it’s not Lonnie, but a different and sinister spirit.
Lonnie PJ 8: Clover senses Lonnie and realizes he’s a good spirit who just has unfinished business.
Hayden AJ 10: Hayden is at a bar with his homeless friend. They walk out of a bar and stop in a park.
Eppsa PJ 16: Eppsa encounters Hayden on the street when he’s drunk and hanging out with his homeless friend. Hayden sees Eppsa’s ghostly form. He yells at her thinking she’s a real woman who resembles his mom. He’s angry that his mom was weak and wasn’t there for him. She was the reason the family was torn apart. He passes out on the bench. It breaks Eppsa’s heart.
Eppsa PJ 17: Eppsa sees the obituary with the face of the homeless man who was with Hayden the day before. She remembers he was one of Hayden’s high school friends.
Lonnie PJ 9: Lonnie manifests at her house, scaring her. He sees the amulet. He’s never seen anything like it. Eppsa tells him it’s an amulet Hayden had for protection.
Eppsa PJ 18: Eppsa attends the funeral of the woman she saw hanging. She apologizes to Lonnie. She wants to find the killer so Lonnie can pass over.
Lonnie PJ 10: Lonnie and Eppsa talk after the funeral.
DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Eppsa must protect Hayden from the serial killer.
Hayden AJ 11: Hayden receives the key to the city.
Eppsa PJ 19: She talks to Clover trying to get answers and find Hayden before he becomes a victim of the serial killer. She also wants to speak to her dead husband, thinking he might be able to help her find Hayden since they were close.
Lonnie PJ 11: Lonnie wants to go to the other side. He’s pulled back and forth. He’s tired.
Hayden AJ 12: Hayden kills someone in the back of the ice cream truck, while Evren is in front. He says he was protecting himself, but he doesn’t want to tarnish his reputation, so they can’t tell anyone.
DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden is grooming Evren.
Eppsa PJ 20: She finds a Satanic book in her bedroom closet amongst her husband’s clothes which are still in there.
TURNING POINT 3: Eppsa is despondent.
Eppsa PJ 21: Eppsa goes to church to pray. She sees a woman cry while praying. The woman takes her to her grandson’s gravesite. It is the name of the teenager who killed himself after joining the Satanic cult.
DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: The grandmother is a stuck spirit who is waiting for justice.
Lonnie AJ 12: Lonnie tells Eppsa to look to see if Hayden’s phone number is in the church registry.
Eppsa PJ 22: Eppsa attends the funeral of the homeless man. She goes into the church and finds Hayden’s number. She talks to the Pastor Palmer McKee. She wants him to pray for Hayden.
Hayden AJ 13: Hayden and Evren make their rounds in the ice cream truck. They park across the street from the church where Eppsa sees them.
Eppsa PJ 23: Eppsa calls and runs after Hayden and Evren, but she can’t catch up. This is when she discovers she has a grandson.
Lonnie PJ 13: Lonnie finally talks to Clover because he’s worried about Eppsa.
Hayden AJ 14: Hayden is at a picnic with his family. He steps away with Evren. Evren is wearing an amulet. He proudly shows it off to his mom.
Eppsa PJ 24: Eppsa texts Hayden. He says it can’t be her because she’s gone and ruined their family. She’s been dead to him a long time. He won’t respond to her texts. She cries. An evil spirit reveals himself as her husband. He’s angry, chases her, and knocks things over. She hides and falls asleep in the closet.
ACT 4: Eppsa learns she’s a ghost and was murdered by her husband. She forces Hayden to kill himself.
Eppsa PJ 25: Eppsa is so anxious about Hayden’s safety, that she appears in front of him at his house to tell him the ghost of his dad is killing people.
Hayden AJ 15: Hayden is doing something as a surprise for Evren’s birthday in two days. Hayden sees his mom appear. He gets angry. He throws something at her. It goes through her. A demon steps out of Hayden. The demon changes his face into her husbands’ face. He threatens to take her to Hell where she belongs. It says Hayden had to kill the people because they betrayed Satan. She’s confused and afraid. She says something about their old house. She disappears. The demon reenters Hayden. His eyes turn black and then returns to normal. Hayden thinks she’s gone for good.
Eppsa PJ 26: Eppsa is at the cemetery with Lonnie.
Lonnie PJ 14: Lonnie takes Eppsa to her gravesite and shows her the headstone where she and her husband are buried. She realizes the nightmares were real, but she was killed and not Hayden. They both vanish.
Hayden AJ 16: Hayden goes to his old house. The house is now dilapidated. He enters and looks around. He goes to his old room. The picture is on the floor and the amulet is missing.
Eppsa PJ 27: Eppsa appears and scares Hayden.
Hayden AJ 17: Hayden talks to her like he’s a kid again and begs for forgiveness. She says he can’t kill people and get away with it. He says he can do whatever he wants. He sees the amulet that he came back to get. He grabs for it. Eppsa knocks it to the floor. He says it’s his amulet that was sanctified with his friend’s sacrificial blood. He reaches for it. She does something to crush it. She makes him kill himself for justice. A dark spirit escapes Hayden, swooshes through the house, and vanishes.
Resolution: Eppsa, Lonnie, and the other spirits pass over finding peace. Evren gets keys to the ice cream truck on his 16<sup>th</sup> birthday. His eye’s turn black and return to normal.
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Ashley’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1
Vision: I write enthralling, entertaining, and transformational scripts that win awards, get produced and create positive change in the world.
I learned a lot about my characters from the deeper layer exercise. It helps me think beyond the plot.
Genre: Historical fantasy
Act 1: The Spaniards have conquered the Aztec Empire, which is struck by plague.
Malinche Protagonist Journey (PJ) 1: Malinche is a self-loathing translator who caused the fall of the Aztec Empire. Consumed by guilt, she atones for her past mistakes.
Malinche PJ 2: Malinche is a loving mother, and will do anything for her son.
Hernando Antagonist Journey (AJ) 1: Hernando has conquered the Aztec Empire, but the Spanish Crown doesn’t recognize his authority. So, the new ruler arrives, takes his office, gold, and crew. We see his childhood wound of being undervalued.
Deeper Layer: Malinche isn’t atoning for her actions that led to the fall of the Aztec Empire, but for the death of her father.
Hernando AJ 2: After Malinche tells Hernando about the plague, Hernando is only concerned with regaining power and ignores the needs of the Aztecs, his son, and Malinche.
Inciting Incident: A fight breaks out between the Aztecs and conquistadors. Malinche is called to join the uprise against the conquistadors and to kill Hernando in his sleep.
Malinche PJ 3: She hates Hernando but she could never kill him and runs away from the fight.
Deeper Layer: Malinche doesn’t realize that she can’t run away from the fight. Karma has a way of catching up with her.
Turning Point 1: After falling down a rabbit hole and discovering the Aztec Calendar Stone, she travels back in time to stop the fall of the Aztec Empire. But after arriving in the past, she realizes that her son doesn’t make it, as he wasn’t born yet.
Malinche PJ 4: Malinche mourns the loss of her son.
Deeper Layer: Her son isn’t really gone.
Act 2: Malinche boards Hernando’s ship and becomes his translator. Her motive is to derail his conquest plans.
Malinche PJ 5: She is in denial that her son is gone and believes he will be born again in this timeline. She escapes her loss when she tempts Hernando with exotic experiences. (Kübler-Ross’s grief phase 1: denial)
Hernando AJ 3: Hernando is smitten by Malinche and escapes from his mission with her. He finds her illusive and mysterious, but he is also escaping from a recent rejection by the Govenor of Cuba.
Deeper Layer: Hernando doesn’t notice that Malinche derails his conquest plans until it’s too late.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Malinche attempts to have sex with Hernando to bring her unborn son back to life. The spirit is disgusted and finds a way to lure the fanatical priest, Jeronimo, into the room. Jernonimo publicly humiliates her and Hernando doesn’t defend her.
Hernando AJ 4: Hernando nearly falls for Malinche’s ploy, but Jeronimo reminds Hernando of his mission. Hernando declines Malinche’s advances in exchange for absolute power in the New World – a Christian world.
Malinche PJ 6: Malinche realizes that her son isn’t coming back and blames Hernando for everything. She commits to derailing his plan by siding with Emperor Montezuma. (Kübler-Ross’s grief phase 2: anger)
Deeper Layer: Malinche may be trying to derail Hernando’s plans. But in reality, a naughty spirit, who has possessed Itzamna, is pulling all the strings.
Act 3: Malinche communicates with a spirit, who she believes to be a god, through the Mayan shaman, Itzamna. Malinche pleads to bring her son back. The spirit agrees to the deal, but he adds that to save the Empire she must stop hiding her true self.
Malinche PJ 7: Malinche pleads to a higher power, “if I save the Aztec Empire, will you bring my son back?” (Kübler-Ross’s grief phase 3: bargaining)
Deeper Layer: Malinche thinks she is speaking to a god, but in reality she is speaking to her unborn son. Itzamna makes the connection that he has been communicating with her son all along.
Turning Point 3: She reveals her true identity — a half-bird/half-human. When Malinche reveals her true form, Emperor Montezuma strips her of her power by removing her feathers. Hernando doesn’t stop him.
Hernando AJ 5: Hernando feels threatened by Malinche’s power. He fears that the Aztec people will consider her a goddess and choose her as their ruler.
Malinche PJ 8: Malinche feels naked and hopeless, but tries to control her emotional reaction in front of others. (Kübler-Ross’s grief phase 4: depression)
Deeper Layer: Malinche begins to fall in love with Itzamna, who helps her express her emotions in a constructive way.
Act 4 Climax: Malinche is to be sacrificed to the gods. Upon entering the courtyard, the people bow. The priest leads Malinche up the temple. Once they reach the top, the priest speaks to the people and the crowd boos. Malinche steps forward and the crowd cheers. She then sings a moving bird song and gives a speech. The crowd demands her release. Hernando wants the people’s support, so he orders his men to release Malinche and in turn, he infuriates the Aztec noblemen.
Malinche PJ 9: At her final moment, she accepts herself and stands tall in her power. (Kübler-Ross’s grief phase 5: acceptance)
Hernando AJ 6: Hernando stands with the Aztec noblemen and Emperor Montezuma during the sacrifice of Malinche. Hernando is in awe by her regal presence, but avoids eye contact. When the people bow at Malinche, Hernando looks around and follows suit. During Malinche’s speech, he feels “called out” at certain moments. He half listens to Jeronimo, who is enraged by the crowd’s approval of Malinche.
Deeper Layer: Malinche isn’t the “Chosen One”. Her son is.
Hernando AJ 7: Hernando and the Spaniards are locked up in prison on Panfilo’s ship. One prisoner throws up. Panfilo says that they will be tried for their crimes in two days. Hernando calls Panfilo a kiss ass and ‘slow’ due to the heavy gold in his pockets.
Resolution: Empress Malinche sits tall on a throne surrounded by exotic birds, colorful features, and earthly pleasures. The spirit, Martin (3), is now in physical form. Itzamna (Martin’s biological father) comes into the picture. In silence, they look at Tenochtitlan burned to ash. Malinche says that sometimes Mother Earth needs to destroy everything before we can rebuild anew. She proposes that they rebuild their home. As they leave, a quetzal bird sings. The bird song breathes life into the ash and it begins to take shape. As the song crescendos, a megalopolis of floating garden plots rise from the ash. The futuristic skyline of Mexico City glows in the late afternoon light.
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- 4-Act Structure
- Protag Journey Structure
- Antag Journey Structure
- Deeper Layer
- Genre Conventions
BENT’S BEAT SHEET – DRAFT ONE
MY VISION IS TO SELL THIS SCREENPLAY AND WIN CONTESTS WITH IT.
WHAT I LEARNED DOING THIS ASSIGNMENT WAS ….. THAT I CAN MAKE A STORY COME TOGETHER.
GENRE – ACTION ADVENTURE
PROTAGONIST – INDIGO
ANTAGONIST – THE GENERAL
ACT ONE – WE SEE A RUSSIAN SUB LEAVING AN ARCTIC POST WITH RED AND WHITE COLORING ON IT. A SCOUT ELF SEARCHING FOR SIGNS OF KRAMPUS IS ATTACKED BY A PACK OF DEMONS AND ULTIMATELY KRAMPUS.
AJ – AN ELF NAMED INDIGO WITNESSES THE GENERAL TALKING TO SANTA WHO IS DRESSING FOR HIS TRAVEL TO DELIVER.
PJ – THE GENERAL IS DEMANDING THAT SANTA OPEN THE NORTH POLE TO MORE OIL DRILLING TO RUSSIAN, CANADA AND USA. AND SANTA REFUSES.
AJ – THE SCOUT SLEIGH LANDS ROUGHLY AT THE NORTH POLE WITH DEAD REINDEER AND ONLY A FEW PULLING IT. INDIGO CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT HE SEES.
PJ – THE GENERAL DEMANDS AGAIN THE NORTH POLE BE OPEN TO MORE DRILLING SO THEY CAN MILITARIZE THE CONTINENT.
DEEPER LAYER – THE GENERAL WANTS MORE POWER.
ACT TWO – TIME TO DELIVER PRESENTS.
AJ – INDIGO’S SISTER WANTS TO SEE THE WORLD AND ASKS TO GO ON A SLEIGH. HER PARENTS REFUSE SAYING SHE’S TOO YOUNG. INDIGO TELLS HER THAT KRAMPUS IS OUT THERE AND IT IS TOO SCARY. NOT EVEN HE WANTS TO TRAVEL AND WILL STAY AT THE NORTH POLE.
DEEPER LAYER – INDIGO SUFFERS FROM A FEAR OF THE OUTSIDE WORLD.
AJ – THE GENERAL REFUSES TO TRAVEL WITH SANTA AND THE ELVES AS THEY GO TO EUROPE AS HE FEELS HE NEEDS TO INVESTIGATE THIS ATTACK.
PJ – SISTER HAZELA GOES TO HER ROOM AND THEN ESCAPES FROM THEIR SECOND FLOOR AND RUNS TO THE LAUNCHING AREA. INDIGO ENTERS HER ROOM TO CALL HER TO DINNER AND FINDS HER DESCENDING DOWN THE ROOF. HE TRIES TO GO AFTER HER BUT HE’S AFRAID.
DEEPER LAYER – HE HAS A FEAR OF HEIGHTS.
AJ- THE GENERAL INTERROGATES THE WOUNDED SCOUT ELF ON THE WHEREABOUTS OF KRAMPUS AND DETAILS.
PJ – INDIGO RUNS TO THE TARMAC. PARENTS ARE WAY BEHIND. HE BELIEVES HE SEES HIS SISTER AROUND THE SLEIGHS SO HE IS SEARCHING THE SLEIGHS. HE LOOKS IN AS MANY AS HE CAN THEN HE FALLS INTO ONE NEAREST THE STARTING LINE. IT TAKES OFF AS HE STRUGGLES TO GET OUT BUT HE CAN’T. HE’S IN THE SKY.
AJ- THE GENERAL IS SUITING UP AS THE MOM AND DAD ARE LOOKING FOR THEIR SON AND DAUGHTER. THE GENERAL AND FATHER END UP IN A HEATED DISCUSSION. WE LEARN THE FATHER WAS PREVIOUSLY SANTA SOME YEARS AGO AND KRAMPUS RIPPED OUT HIS ARM.
DEEPER LAYER – THE FATHER IS BITTER OVER LOSING HIS ROLE AS SANTA AS IT IS COVETED.
ACT 3 – SANTA AND THE ELVES DELIVER TO NORTH AMERICA WHERE KRAMPUS IS LOCATED. HAZELA IS KIDNAPPED BY KRAMPUS AND THE DEMONDS
PJ – INDIGO LEARNS THE ART OF DELIVERING PRESENTS AT THE SAME TIME SEARCHING FOR HIS SISTER. AT ONE HOUSE HE MEETS A CHILD WHO DIDN’T FALL ASLEEP.
DEEPER LAYER – HE LEARNS FROM THIS LITTLE KID THAT THEY ARE SIMILAR IN MANY WAYS.
PJ – KRAMPUS ENTERS THE HOME AND TAKES THE BOY. IN HIS SACK IS THE SISTER. INDIGO IS FROZEN IN FEAR.
ACT 4
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This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by Bent Hanlen.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by Bent Hanlen.
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