Lesson 3

[Jack Young]

What I learned doing this assignment is that what I had originally conceived as a pilot was way out of whack with a structure that will pull the viewer in and entertain them. The assignment helped to identify the turning points and the 5 acts. It also got me thinking about the teaser and what would let the viewer know what they were in store for in future episodes.

Jack Young’s Pilot Structure for “STREAM”

What are the Acts in Pilot?

Teaser: Michael drowns as a young boy and sees the ocean of souls and the seals. The seal turns into a gateway. He peers into an ancient world where the sorcerer stands working his evil. He turns as if he has seen Michael peer into his world. His brother wakes him and is cryptic about the future (The ancient one has seen you).

Act 1:

Essence: Michael has a good life with wife and son although he eats aspirin like candy. His wife is worried about his severe headaches. Has phone call with his buddy and keeps wife from hearing it, but it sounds like a big money making opportunity. On his way to work, we get glimpses of riots (No-birth). At work an old woman is upset about her house being repossessed and commits suicide in front of Michael. She, too, has eerie, cryptic message for Michael. Secretary at work is upset with Michael about affair he’s having with her. During chaos of suicide and secretary being upset, he gets call from buddy that deal went bad. Michael leaves for lunch while on phone with friend. He finds out that the FBI has shown up at his buddy’s work with warrant for insider trading.

Turning Point: Michael has warrant out for his arrest.

Act II:

Essence: Michael stops at bar to get a drink and his head together. He sees cop cars go by. AT bar, news talks about ongoing no-birth crisis. Old guy makes jokes about test using monkeys to create babies that are half-human and half monkey. Michael goes to a table and eats aspirin like candy. Girlfriend stops in and they have fight. She tells him that the FBI came by work to arrest him. I told them you were probably at your old hangout. As she finishes, the FBI pulls up. Michael tries to run out the back and runs into the FBI. His headache rages to the point where he collapses. Michael is in hospital. His wife is on the edge of the bed going over how Michael lost all of their funds, had an affair, broke the law, etc. Doctor takes Michael out of room to tell her that Michael has terminal brain cancer. Michael watches a show on TV with the Professor explaining his theory of what caused the no-birth. He tries to change the channel but he’s on every channel. He realizes that one of his eyes is blind. Diane helps Michael to car as debris blows down street. A paper wraps around her leg. The obituary shows Michael’s death in 3 days. Michael says he needs to find Professor. At professor’s house, they meet astral team and he tells Michael about the stream. Diane doesn’t believe it.

Midpoint: The Professor takes Michael and Diane into the astral plane and shows them the raging stream and souls captured in it.

Act III:

Essence: Michael and Diane stay at professor’s house. Michael and Diane are told that he must die to enter stream. Diane is against it. Michael wants to be forgiven and realizes NOW that without someone going into stream, their son won’t have a family. Thomas preps Michael for the journey. Michael thinks that he sees his dead brother and follows. In the pouring rain, he sees the ancient one (sorcerer) appears through the portal. The ancient one moves closer to him and says “Be wary when you peer into my world, mortal. I’ll rip out your soul and make a piss bucket from it” Suddenly, the portal turns into headlights of a truck. Someone grabs him and pulls him to safety. It’s his wife.

Turning Point: Michael dies and is thrust into the stream.

Act IV:

Michael revisits the highlights of his life as his soul leaves his body and he enters the Astral plane. The Astral team, guided by the Professor, ensures that Michael enters the Stream and is on his way to the other side. When parents arrive they call police. Using the son’s help, they find Michael’s body and seize it.

Turning Point: Michael’s body is seized by the police. The Professor warns that if they don’t get his body back, he will not be able to return.

Act V:

Essence: The professor escapes and manages to get Diane out of jail. They steal Michael’s body back. Michael arrives in the Ocean of Souls (Heaven). Michael is plucked from the Ocean of Souls and is given a new “Skin”.

Lock In/Cliffhanger: Michael arrives on the planet in an artificial skin. (Not city of seals)

[Madeleine Vessel]

Madeleine Vessel’s Pilot Structure

Doing this assignment, I learned how to structure my pilot into a Teaser and Five Acts. Very interesting!

Teaser:

Essence: In the year 1896, off the coast of Theodosia, Crimea, a man stands on the poop deck of an Imperial Russian Ship of the Line, watching lifeboats, overflowing with survivors, pull away from a doomed vessel. He frames this powerful scene with his hands.Turning Point: The 19^th century man now renders the same powerful scene in oils on canvas. It’s An Old Russian Master, which slowly transforms into a painting, obscured by an accumulation of grime and discolored varnish. It sits on an easel in present time front of Dr. Sophie Wolf.

Act 1:

Essence: Sophie brushes dirt away from the artist’s signature, Ivan Aivazovsky, one of the greatest seascape painters of all time. If genuine, the painting is worth millions. Turning Point: The painting belongs to Zhora’s fiancée, Falisa, who inherited it and three other paintings from her deceased husband, Pasha, who took all his secrets to his grave. Zhora warns Sophie to tell no one that she could be working on an Old Russian Masterpiece. “Anyone can betray you.” “When do I ever trust anyone? Don’t worry. I’ll keep the painting safe.”

Act 2:

Essence: Zhora and Falisa unload groceries in front of Falisa’s house in preparation for making lunch together. They are surprised by two Russian gunman, one of whom fires his weapon at them. He kills Falisa and seriously wounds Zhora.Turning Point/Midpoint: Falisa is transported to the morgue in a bodybag. Zhora is transported to the hospital in critical condition. He’s conscious enough to tell a San Francisco Police Detective, he thinks the shooters were enemies from his past.

Act 3:

Essence: Sophie meets FBI agent Bill Hillman in Zhora’s hospital room. She finds out that Zhora, supposedly a Russian translator, has been working secretly as Bill’s informant. and Sophie are both Russian defectors living under assumed names in U. S. Witness Protection. Turning Point: It’s revealed that Sophie and Zhora are Russian defectors living under assumed names in U. S. Witness Protection, and their covers may have been blown.

Act 4:

Essence: Bill promises to protect Sophie. Sophie goes home from the hospital to find the alarm turned off. She calls Bill worried, but he doesn’t pick up.Turning Point: Sophie comes face-to-face with an intruder. Terrified she falls down the stairs into Bill’s arms. The intruder gets away.

Act 5:

Essence: Bill and Sophie search the house for what the intruder was looking for. There is nothing in the house of interest to FSB. But the intruder did pay particular attention to Sophie’s paintings. She’s an artist as well as a professor of art history.Lock In: Sophie connects the intruder’s interest in her paintings to Falisa’s paintings. Were the shooters FSB? Or were they art thieves there to steal four Old Russian Masters? Sophie must find out which?

[Eric Humble]

Eric Humble’s Pilot Structure

What I learned doing this assignment is: The most valuable part of this lesson for me was the guidance in creating and then elevating turning points. This is something I’ve struggled with in writing features. I’ve never considered just how important (and frequent) they are in television. The guidance and prompts on how to generate turning points and then how to use our BW framework to elevate them really made this structure come alive and leap to a higher level of quality.

Teaser:

Essence: Jude receives an award for his proprietary DNA research, which is bringing him close to a cure for cancer…

Turning Point: …when an active shooter attacks the gala.

Act 1:

Essence: Jude helps EMTs attend to the wounded.

Turning Point: His wife, Catherine, just has a harmless flesh wound… but in treating her, Jude turns up that she also has inoperable cancer.

Act 2:

Essence: Jude discovers the cure for cancer in a blood sample from someone at the gala – Dres. But who she is and why she was there is a total mystery.

Turning Point/Midpoint: Jude questions Dres about her blood sample… when someone tries to kill her. She was the target of the shooter at the gala, and there are more after her. But Jude ends up killing the assassin instead!

Act 3:

Essence: Jude and Dres dispose of the body, after which she ducks out on him.

Turning Point: A police detective finds a clue that leads directly to him… and his aloofness makes him appear guiltier than ever.

Act 4:

Essence: He appeals to a powerful person inside the Big Pharma industry for help handling the police.

Turning Point: It’s a set-up. The cabal visit him in his home at night – acting like police at first… then assaulting him and warning him off. They want the blood sample. He gives it to them, insists it’s the only one. As they leave, he discovers they’ve killed his powerful friend – that’s what will happen to anyone else he involves, too. Their appearance triggers memories of the masked gang that drove his brother to suicide in his youth.

Act 5:

Essence: Jude realizes the only way to keep Dres safe and manufacture the cure is to get inside this secret society.

Lock In: They blow up his lab – and his assistant inside – along with the other sample he claimed didn’t exist.

[George Petersen]

George Petersen – PILOT STRUCTURE

What I learned doing this assignment is the importance of turning points in an outline.

Teaser:

Essence:

Lincoln and Mary exit a train station, get in an open carriage. No dignitaries present. No police. The crowd around them presses in, the horses can’t move. A well dressed man entreats the President politely to make a speech. A weary Lincoln stands up in the carriage. Begins speaking. Someone grabs at his ankle, he goes down. Mary looks around confused. Now a mob, Lincoln is dragged into the hysterical frenzy, being pulled apart by his arms and legs. Mary stands up and lets out a bloody scream. A top hat goes flying through the air.

Turning Point:

Nightmare? Vision of things to come?

Act 1:

Essence:

Chicago. 1861. The beginning of new year. What will it bring?

Kate convinces Pinkerton to hire her as the first woman detective. Pinkerton is asked to help protect the rail bridges leading into Baltimore. He says goodbye to the black family he has been hiding in his home as part of the Underground Railroad. Kate undergoes training to be a Union spy.

Turning Point:

February. Kate, Pinkerton and his team leave for Baltimore.

In Springfield, Lincoln walks the tree-lined streets, saying goodbye to his neighbors. Deeply felt.

Act 2:

Essence:

Kate and Pinkerton go undercover as Union spies. Finally, Kate gets to put her acting talents to the test. Kate becomes Miss Dixie, spirited Southern socialite, and Pinkerton becomes Mr. Hutchinson, wealthy stockbroker in the arms trade. Together they explore leads to understand why the red shirts are planning to burn the bridges that lead into Baltimore.

In Springfield, Lincoln attends an informal planning meeting with aids in his home. He wants to take the direct rail route to Washington, but he is convinced that it’s too dangerous going through Southern states. He reluctantly agrees to the long northern route through Buffalo and New York.

Turning Point/Midpoint:

Looking a little lost, Angelina takes Miss Dixie under her wing. In an encounter with Angelina’s drunk husband, Rhett of the Black Snakes, Miss Dixie discovers that the rumored assassination plot is real and Captain Ferrandini is the one behind it making it happen.

Act 3:

Essence:

At a crowded luxury hotel lobby, Hutchinson attacks Miss Dixie for being a Union spy. Ferrandini comes to Miss Dixie’s aid, protecting her reputation.

In Springfield, Lincoln meets with his volunteer security detail, a motley crew of retired military advisors, full of bombastic hot air about what a great job they will do defending the President from the rebels.

Turning Point:

Protecting Kate from Hutchinson, Ferrandini has dinner with her. Kate learns the details of the assassination plot.

Act 4:

Essence:

Hutchinson pays Ferrandini a huge sum of money for his investment in the arms trade to help the South. Ferrandini is impressed and sponsors Hutchinson to become a Knight in the KGC.

In Springfield, Lincoln and Mary, the ultimate political couple, are packing for the journey when Mary has a tantrum because Lincoln won’t commit to her recommendations for cabinet posts.

Turning Point:

Pinkerton undergoes the harrowing initiation ceremony into the KGC.

Act 5:

Essence:

Although Kate and Pinkerton learn the details of the plot, they struggle to find physical evidence that would prove the plot to Lincoln’s handlers.

In Springfield, Lincoln says goodbye at the gravesite of his young son, Willy. No matter what happens, I will never leave you.

Lock In:

Embedded in the KGC meeting as Mr. Hutchinson, Pinkerton witnesses helplessly the drawing to select who will have the privilege of assassinating the President. It’s real. It’s happening. And only he and Kate can stop it. If they fail, they could be hung and the Union split in two.

Lincoln gives an extemporaneous , heartfelt goodbye to his friends at Springfield. As the train pulls away, he remains alone on the rear platform, clutching his chest in emotional pain. A man on a train with the only copy of his inaugural address, a glimmer of hope in the pervasive darkness.