Lesson 3

[CJ Lyons]

CJ’s Pilot Structure

What I learned from this assignment was how to find the dramatic essence of each act, willowing out the various subplots/threads

1. Present the first draft of your pilot Acts.

Teaser:

Essence: a nun and young girl running away from a housing project, the Tower, unknown forces following them as they finally reach the alley behind a church

Turning Point: the nun tells the girl to run, save herself and shoos her down a stairway, then the nun runs the other way, rounds a corner and is shot in the chest

Act 1:

Essence: Rossi in ER, treats Ryder for a scalp laceration, banters with ex-husband Jacob

Turning Point: gunshot nun dumped at ER without warning

Act 2:

Essence: Rossi tries to save nun, breaking protocol by cracking her chest as Ryder watches, coordinates police response

Turning Point/Midpoint: as Rossi holds the nun’s heart in her hand she “hears” the flat-lined nun commanding her to “find the girl, save the girl”

Act 3:

Essence: Devon returns to Towers, finds love of his life murdered and daughter, Esme, missing

Turning Point: takes Esme’s dog and tracks Esme to nun’s murder scene at church

Act 4:

Essence: Rossi, haunted by nun’s last memories, follows them to her murder scene where Ryder kicks her out, meets Devon, learns Esme is real and her mother murdered

Turning Point: Devon and Rossi search tunnels, dodging drug dealer traps, when Rossi becomes catatonic, a vision showing her so much more than her normal senses can

Act 5:

Essence: Devon forces Rossi to admit her visions, but he decides to trust them (even though she doesn’t)

Lock In: Rossi’s vision leads them to a serial killer’s lair where bodies of tortured women are frozen, hung on meathooks—are they too late? does the killer have Esme?

[Lloyd Shellenberger]

Module3 Lesson 4

Lloyd’s Pilot Structure

Working Hard every day to become the best writer I can be and as a result I do become the best writer in Hollywood.

What I learned from this assignment was how to structure the Pilot to bring the most drama and Intrigue possible.

1. First draft of two pilot episodes.

Teaser:

Essence: Reese and his men are ambushed in Afghanistan after shutting down a drug supplier’s business.

Turning Point: Reese and his men survive but they realize they were set up by someone on the inside.

Act 1:

Essence: We go from a normal day at the office of Col. Greene and his crew with several reveals in the opener to the same night as Col. Greene is forcibly recruited into the Puzzle Works in order to save his son.

Act 2:

Essence: Col. Greene and his crew return to the Ft. Bragg office the next day to confirm the Puzzle Works has indeed assigned them a mission they must complete or die.

Act 3: Reese and his men are wheels up to Afghanistan to cut of the supply of Opium and Herion to Ft. Bragg.

Essence: Devon returns to Towers, finds love of his life murdered and daughter, Esme, missing

Turning Point: Greene and his men leave no one alive they are ambushed and forced to kill rogue American soldiers on the take.

Act 4:

Essence: Reese and his men return to Ft. Bragg only to realize the drug kingpin was only a doorstep away.

Turning Point: Col. Greene and his crew discover Brigadier General Mosely is the mastermind behind the Ft. Bragg operations using military resources and the dead of night to pull it off.

Act 5:

Essence: Reese plants a mole who give him the intel he needs to form a plan.

Lock In: Reese is ordered to remove all trace of the operation and these players but make it look like and accident.

Teaser Episode two.

Teaser:

Essence: The plan is complete. The warehouse explodes in a mysterious fire killing everyone in it.

Turning Point: They are now locked into the Puzzle Works agenda there can be no turning back after Murder and theft.

Act 1:

Essence: Reese and his crew tail Mosely and his crew to warehouses in downtown Fayetteville gathering intel.

Act 2:

Essence: Reese orders his crew to hit a drug warehouse leaving behind clues this was a rival drug lords hit. Lt. Greene and Desmoines head up the operation. Greene and Desmoines become greedy and rob their victims not telling the Col. of their intentions.

Act 3:

Essence: Reese is contacted by an Agent Stockton concerning the deaths of the local drug lords. Greene visits the local police Chief who agrees to give him top cover against Agent Stockton.

Turning Point: In a coordinated hit Greene, the local Fayetteville Police and hired thugs hit the drug house in one night.

Act 4:

Essence: Reese and his men return to Ft. Bragg and hit the warehouse killing Mosley and his crew. Lt. Greene and Desmoines steal the cash and drugs not telling Col. Greene.

Turning Point: This final act of murder and theft cements the first season and the intent of Lt. Greene and Frist Sergeant Desmoines. Their intent is completely opposite of what Col. Greene and the Puzzle Works wanted. The reveal later is this was all a setup to help the DEA bring down the East Coast Drug lords.

Act 5:

Essence: Reese and his men present themselves as the new suppliers of Opium and Herion on the East Coast

Lock In: Agent Stockton is hot on their heels knowing they killed the drug workers and stole the cash and drugs. He is relentless but Greene and his crew cannot go back.