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Lesson 3
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LESSON THREE: Deanne’s Genre Conventions
What I learned by doing this lesson = focus on elevating the major complications by using genre conventions
Title: COVER BAND
Genre: Horror-Comedy (comps = TREMORS and THE LOST BOYS)
Concept: After a burnt-out rodeo manager, CB, and his best friend CHAMP sign on as roadies for a rock band, they discover the band is a front for space aliens who are installing infrastructure in preparation for an invasion of Earth.List of genre conventions for Horror:
Purpose: to give audience an experience of horror, aiming for hysteria
Isolation: alone, cut-off from help, and powerless against a villain or monster
Threat of Death: vulnerability to something dangerous.
Monster or Villain: some entity that can inflict terror and violence
Blood and gore: some think the more the better. I don’t.
High Tension: situations with high stakes, huge obstacles, little time. You get the idea.
Departure from Reality: Monsters and villains in horror movies rarely show up in real life
Moral Statement: a social message about acceptable behavior and what lines should not be crossed. (Those who violate these values are punished)? Or could it be said that, in a movie, the violation of those values is what creates the horror. It seems to me that in this genre in particular it’s usually the completely innocent characters that get slaughtered (punished) often for no reason other than entertainment.Title: COVER BAND
Genre: Horror-Comedy
Concept: New roadies discover band is a front for aliens preparing to invade Earth
Main Conflict: How can they quit the job without getting killed?
Transformational Journey:
CB starts at “This isn’t my herd, so it is not my problem” and gets to “If I don’t save the world, who will?”ACT-ONE (The Set-Up)
Opening: establishes genre with isolation, mystery, screams, and blood
Earliem versions of my script had a lackluster opening scene with Random Roadie spotting something scary under the stage coming for him, and he screams. (I wanted it short.)
But Random Roadie is in his usual environment and we don’t know him well enough to care.
I rewrote it for two band fans and their dog and added enough interaction to humanize them as they sneak into restricted territory (always a no-no in horror movies). There’s more screaming, and this time evidence of blood. If I could spend more script pages here, it would be in building more suspense before the blood is revealed.Inciting Incident: Antagonist SLICK sees band musician plead with protagonist CB for help
My first intention was to slip SLICK into the plot through the background and give him a bigger introduction later, but realized the role would attract better actors if Slick makes a big splash the first time he appears. So now he’s a lot flashier and more sinister. The situation still needs work though, since watching people talk doesn’t rate as “high evil.” I don’t want him confronting CB yet, but he needs to do more than just stare with an evil expression.Turning Pt. One: CB makes decision to drive a stowaway MEL to the band’s next concert and ask for a job. (His hidden agenda is to investigate strange things about the band.)
CB’s decision is made in a situation of wholesome normalcy. The horror conventions show up as he is actually investigating.Act-TWO (The Confrontation)
New Plan = abandoning his plan to take a “busman’s holiday,” CB gets a job as horse patrol for the band so he can investigatePlan in Action = CB takes opportunities to snoop and eavesdrop, quickly running into more than he bargained on, unsettling and scary things
Midpoint = CB loses control of his vehicle and is trapped into continuing with the band indefinitely. The horror convention employed here is loss of control due to the villain’s superior power (in the form of alien tech.)
Rethink: CB and his friend need to figure out how to quit this job without getting killed
They are up against an unknown power with an unknown agenda, but CB has heard enough to guess it involves the extinction of humanity by way of CO2 emissions. But what can CB do about it? he has a horse and a rope, not tanks and missiles.New Plan: CB devises an escape plan, but it fails when a friend becomes a prisoner
Act Two Turning Pt.: CB’s horse is put in danger by the antagonist
Here’s where the real horror-convention horror makes its appearance. Never makes it to the stage to take a bow, though.Act Three:
Climax = CB’s efforts to save his horse kick off an action sequence with CB and Champ fighting Slick while the horror-danger looms. When it looks like Slick has prevailed, CB turns out to have an ace up his sleeve.Resolution: tying up many loose ends, CB’s new normal launches him into a life of greater purpose, but THE THREAT STILL REMAINS… refrigerated trucks are supposed to keep things cold, right?
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I like how you integrated horror conventions in here and how it ends on a cliffhanger. I don’t see the comedy yet but I’m sure that’ll come soon.
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My high concept is: What if a novice counselor has 6 days to save a woman from a husband who is brainwashing her? Should I put psychologically abusing her instead of brainwashing? I’m sure you’re busy. Thanks for your time and attention.
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I’d use the term “gaslighting,” mainly because for me “brainwashing” conjures images of prisoners under bright lights being forced to watch endless streams of photos — or that type of thing. And “psychologically abusing” takes too long to say. I’d stumble over it during a pitch. Maybe try it out loud a few times and see which works best for you.
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Zenna Davis-Jones Genre conventions:
What I learned through this assignment is that I should have a teaser that sets the tone. I decided on the protagonist’s back story of her sister going missing. I also learned that I can raise the stakes after the midpoint. My protagonist is now being guarded by a priest and must find a way to get out. I also decided to raise the stakes on why the new recruits need to stay in the congregation so that it is more life and death for them.
A: GENRE – Thriller
B: TITLE – Obedience
C: HIGH CONCEPT: A devout sister must find a way to get her and her fellow sisters to safety after discovering their charming priest is using their congregation to fulfill his own wicked desires.
THRILLER CONVENTIONS:
Purpose: To thrill the audience with high stakes, plot twists, and suspense that never lets up.
-LIFE AND DEATH SITUATIONS
-MYSTERY/INTRIGUE/SUSPENSE
-HERO
-VILLIAN
-MAIN EMOTIONS: Suspense, intrigue, mystery, tension, anticipation, uncertainty, surprise
Pilot Episode:
TEASER: Little Margot is at the grocery store with her mom when her teddy bear goes missing. She sees a man holding it and follows him. He leads her outside to a river. She ends up drowning. As he drags her body away, she wakes up slightly, he tells her to be quiet.
ACT 1:
Inciting incident:
The new recruits arrive at the church. Sister Colette has been given the high honor of teaching them until they take their vows to join the congregation.
Her mute friend Nelly freaks out when the recruits come, they get into a fight.
Detail for future: Nelly is feeding a ‘pet’ rat and almost falls out the window doing so.
Turning point:
As sister Colette is showing the new recruits around, sister Nelly, falls out of a window to her death. When Colette goes over to help her, she discovers a note in Nelly’s hand.
ACT 2:
New Plan:
Kinsley blames Colette for letting negative energies into the building. Colette decides to pursue training the girls harder and whips herself as punishment to get back into God’s light.
Plan in action:
-She gives the recruits CONFESSION BOOKLETS to write their biggest secrets. She makes them share theirs, then relays the information to the priest.
-She whips herself as punishment for letting the devil in. As she is whipping herself the rat that Nelly fed keeps on appearing.
Details for plot progression:
-She studies Nelly’s final note, which leads her to believe that the devil got to her through the possession of the rat.
-She discovers that Nelly’s death is considered a suicide and therefore she will not receive a funeral to send her to heaven.
Midpoint:
During a big sermon with the townsfolk, Colette kills the rat she believes is the incarnation of the devil. **Possibly, she is seeing red, so someone has to hit her over the head before she hurts a townsfolk**
Act 3:
React/Rethink:
Colette is put under ‘house arrest’, and a new priest Augustine, will watch her to make sure she is sane. She is demoted to the laundry room. Sister Raymond will replace her in teaching the new recruits.
New plan:
Colette acts as good as she can, wanting to melt away into a wallflower.
Turning point:
Colette discovers the second half of Nelly’s note. Together, it leads her to investigate the room Nelly fell from.
ACT 4:
Stakes raised: New recruit Margaret is going to be kicked out of the church if she cannot provide a dowry for the vows. Her abusive boyfriend comes to take her out of the congregation, Colette swears she’ll find a way to get her to stay.
New plan:
Colette discovers a CONFESSION BOOK where Nelly fell, however, it is sister Raymond’s book, not Nelly’s. Leading Colette to believe that Raymond was there when Nelly fell.
Climax/Ultimate Expression of the Conflict:
Colette confronts Raymond, demanding to leave the congregation after committing an unforgivable sin.
***Note: How Augustine is dealt with is still TBD***
ACT 5:
Conclusion:
Colette uses the next Sunday sermon to raise money in Nelly’s honor and clears her name. Colette is raised back to her original status.
Twist:
Colette discovers that Nelly has been collecting articles about the murders of girls from the congregation. Including the disappearance of Colette’s sister from childhood. Father Kinsley has been arrested and is a suspect for these girls.
Overwhelmed, Colette runs to the forest, where she discovers sister Raymond’s dead body. She now has to watch the new girls take their vows, knowing that this place isn’t safe.
END OF EPISODE
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This is so much stronger and more sinister.
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Yes – heightened tension!
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My high concept is: What if a novice counselor has 6 days to save a woman from a husband who is brainwashing her? Should I put psychologically abusing her instead of brainwashing? I’m sure you’re busy. Thanks for your time and attention.
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Chris’s Drama Genre Convention
Title: SAY THEIR NAME
Concept: When a young person dies, all they might have accomplished, if they had lived, dies with them.
Conflict: Jim Crow laws get in the way of Moses Kincaid living in peace with his white wife Polly.
Conventions of Drama
– Purpose – Emotional/high stakes for characters
– Character driven internal journey.
– High stakes come from within.
– Emotionally resonates.
– Challenging, emotionally charged situations.
– Real life situations.
ACT ONE – Opening – 2017 Lynching museum – history of racial violence in America. One memorial says “Unknown – 6/19/1935.”
1967 – Moses at home in Dallas – Just a friendly, regular family man.
– Inciting incident – Kincaid family upset when neighborhood kid killed in Viêt Nam. Another brother killed in the white man’s war.
1963 Kincaid breakfast – Polly talks about what JFK hopes to accomplish for black community (voting rights, integrated schools, equal access) – setting up stakes if JFK is assassinated later and stakes for Bess being accepted into Conservatory. Moses still believes America is a white man’s country. That Bess will have a better chance at Conservatory if passes for white.
Stakes if Bess does not get into Conservatory – she’d be a failure in Daddy’s eyes.
– Turning Point – 1944 – Moses and Polly get married in general store. Polly upset that Moses has to go to war. Fears losing him. Moses tells her after the war they’ll settle down in Texas, live in peace, raise a family.
ACT TWO – New Plan – 1963 – Moses talks to Civil War Memorial statues – He just wants to live in peace and harmony. Elevate emotionality.
– Plan in action – Moses works hard (elevator repair), comes home after serving his country in WW2, raises his family. Polly is arrested for interracial marriage. He takes care of his mother, who has a vision that he will do great things, but no one will know his name. Elevate emotionality.
– Midpoint Turning Point – 1963 Lee Harvey Oswald points gun at Moses.
1935 Moses meets a biplane pilot who increases his black self-awareness. Learns about black pride.
1946 – Polly is convicted of miscegenation. Fears it will be the end of their marriage. Challenges to her core. Will she and Moses ever be able to live in peace. They have to leave Texas.
1963 – Polly withdraws daughter Bess from piano competition.
1935 – Young Moses falls in love with young Polly.
ACT THREE – React/Rethink – 1967 Moses is more aware of his black culture. Meets with Black Panther in coffee shop. What is at stake if African Americans turn to violence (ala Black Panthers). We all gonna end up dead or in jail. It is not a victory if the oppressed become the oppressor.
1935 – loving young Polly is dangerous. Local big shot draws a gun on Moses. Elevate emotionality of situations.
– New plan – 1949 Supreme Court rules that a ban on interracial marriage is unconstitutional. Polly is acquitted.
1935 Young Moses tells his dog how he feels about Polly and the high stakes of loving her.
1963 – Moses fights with Oswald. Gets drop on LHO, says he will turn him over to police. Oswald laughs, says he’ll tell the cops Moses intended to kill JFK, until he stopped him. Who do you think they’ll believe? The white man or the black man. LHO runs away. Kennedy is not assassinated.
– Turning point – 1935 Moses is lynched. Act 4 is about the stakes/consequences of Moses dying at age 14.
ACT FOUR – Climax/ Ultimate expression of Conflict – 1935 Young Moses is dead.
1963 – Polly marries a white doctor. Kennedy is assassinated. Interracial marriage remains illegal until 1967.
– Resolution – 2017 At the Lynching Memorial, Elder Polly has never forgotten young Moses. She articulates the high concept. Says his name, “Moses Kincaid.”
What I learned from this assignment- I learned that I need to better articulate the high stakes for characters and actions and elevate the emotionality of scenes and situations.
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Your concept is so powerful. I’m a little confused as to how you’re going to show that this was what could have been in the beginning and why the transition to the alternate plot line occurs at the point when it does.
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I like the idea of an opening scene – the memorial. Beyond a tragic ending, it makes one ponder what was this person’s life like, and in this case – what could it have been.
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There are clues early on that are obvious changes in reality (JFK is President in 1967, the Viêt Nam war ends in 1967) and some less obvious (Apollo 1 tragedy avoided) that we later connect to Moses living. When he dies at a young age, the 4th act corrects these historical inaccuracies that occur in his absence.
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Hi Christopher,
I’m doing a survey. My high concept is: What if a novice counselor has 6 days to save a woman from a husband who is brainwashing her? Should I put psychologically abusing her instead of brainwashing? I’m sure you’re busy. Thanks for your time and attention.
Joan
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Brainwashing sounds old fashion. Is he abusing her? Would psychologically manipulating work better?
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Or psychologically torturing?
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Thanks for the idea. He is abusing her but torturing might be too strong.
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Thank you. I’ll think about that.
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The more I think about psychologically manipulating her, the better it sounds.
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What I learned doing this assignment is that I need to escalate the action at a more natural but faster pace. This rising tension is what is going to keep audiences in their seats. Also, I realized that my script has strong social commentary and that I need to do a better job highlighting the differences between the protagonist’s and antagonist’s values.
Title: The World Bender
Concept: After a recently fostered teenager is given magical powers, she embarks on an epic quest to rescue her biological father and save the dragon race from a cruel business mogul who captured them using spells for his financial benefit.
Genre: Fantasy / Sci-Fi
Sci Fi Conventions
PURPOSE: To explore the implications of technological change, alternative worlds, and/or probable futures that could come from the changes in science. To cause us to think outside of our own world.
Demand for Action: When Lisette discovers that her father hadn’t abandoned her but instead was trying to protect her, she realizes that she must now save him.
Mission: Lisette’s mission is to save her father and the dragons from Dwyvel who is holding them hostage as slaves because they all bring him profit. They are hostages on another planet that is vastly different than earth.
Escalating Action: At first Lisette tries to forget her father but she is forced to remember him when she’s dragged into another world by a magical jewel he gave her. There she starts developing her magical powers and discovers that he’s actually being held prisoner by Dwyvel and that’s why her father hasn’t returned. Now, her mission is to rescue him. She betrays her newfound dragon friend in an attempt to do so, and, consumed by guilt, she decides she must rescue all the creatures Dwyvel has hostage, not just her father.
Hero: The hero, Lisette, is deeply devoted to her family and this devotion is at odds with the antagonist’s valuing of money over all else. For the hero, family is more important than money.
Antagonist: The antagonist, Dwyvel, embodies the negative aspects of a strongly capitalist society when money becomes more important than lives.
Act 1:
Opening – the story of the magical jewel told to Lisette as a child. This is how Lisette learns that magic is real (in this fantasy world) and about the existence of Dwyvel, the antagonist.Inciting Incident – Lisette ends up with a family friend and later an orphanage because her father wants to protect her from Dwyvel and his henchmen. Lisette’s shown her father’s values that family is very important and that you should do anything for them, even if it hurts you personally.
Turning Point – Lisette’s jewel creates a portal to the magical land of Dracania. This particular planet is gorgeous with breathtaking visuals that instantly set it apart from earth.
Act 2:
New plan – Lisette’s new plan is to learn magic to find out what happened to her father.Plan in action – Lisette studies magic under the tutelage of a dragon named Kismet.
Midpoint Turning Point – Lisette sees her father tortured – now she knows that he needs her help.
Act 3:
Rethink everything. Lisette wants to rescue her father and defeat Dwyvel.New plan. Lisette is going to bring Dwyvel a dragon scale so he’ll release her father. To do this, she betrays her newfound friend Kismet.
Turning Point: The dragons and Lisette’s foster family have all abandoned her. She is by herself with no hope.
Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate Expression Of The Conflict: Physical Battle between Lisette and Dwyvel using a special mix of magic and martial arts. Another opportunity for breathtaking visuals.Resolution: Lisette defeats Dwyvel and frees her father and the dragons. She and her father return home with Kismet who has shape-shifted into a human boy.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by Lora Sester.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by Lora Sester.
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Elizabeth arrives at the transition house after her husband throws the breakfast dishes at her. Glass lodges in her arm. Unbeknownst to Selma, the counselor, Elliz phones her husband every night and every night he gaslights her and uses other forms of manipulation on her.
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Hi Lora,
I’m doing a survey. My high concept is: What if a novice counselor has 6 days to save a woman from a husband who is brainwashing her? Should I put psychologically abusing her instead of brainwashing? I’m sure you’re busy. Thanks for your time and attention.
Joan
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When you say brainwash, I think of the movie Oldboy where someone was hypnotized into actions they would never normally perform. So the question I have is is she actually brainwashed? or is she psychologically manipulated or abused?
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Hi Lora,
What does it mean to have a connection or be connected?
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I think it’s like a friend on Facebook kind of thing
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This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by
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I learned how and where to add emotion to my script. I have been trying to do this for ages.
The new ideas are in bold italics.
CONVENTIONS OF DRAMA PURPOSE: To explore stories with emotional and interpersonal high stakes for their characters.
CHARACTER-DRIVEN JOURNEY: We always need to care about the characters in a Drama, and their internal journey drives the film’s events and progression.
HIGH STAKES COME FROM WITHIN: Whether the story’s events are relatively mundane or intense, the struggles, obstacles, and stakes comes from within the characters more than from external pressures.
EMOTIONALLY RESONATES: Drama audiences want to feel and be moved by the characters’ emotions and how they experience the events.
CHALLENGING, EMOTIONALLY-CHARGED SITUATIONS: Characters get challenged to their core by the emotional situations and struggles that they run into.
REAL-LIFE SITUATIONS: Drama stories are grounded in reality.
Genre: Drama
Title: The Way Out
Concept: What if a counselor has 6 days to save a woman from a husband who is brainwashing her?
Main Conflict: The counselor is determined that the woman leave her husband; The husband is bent on having her home.
Act 1:
Opening-
Selma throws rose petals into a dumpster. Selma lives alone and trusts no one. She speaks to her dying father who is in prison.
Inciting Incident-
Selma’s dying father says, “Face your demons.” She doesn’t want to go. must return to the transition house. Flashback—Selma aged 10 pulling her mother away from the transition house.
Turning Point-
The inner stakes: Selma must get Elizabeth into counseling to atone for Momma’s death. Elizabeth wants to leave. Selma has to work at getting Elizabeth to come for counseling because she wants to learn to be happy and find her “lost self”.
Act 2:
New plan-
Selma’s boss explains the plan by giving the goals and says, “Get a good sleep. Tomorrow she’s all yours.”
Plan in action-
Selma begins the 1<sup>st</sup> intervention. Is Not challenged to the core.
Fears are due to childhood experiences.
2<sup>nd</sup> intervention Selma feels cornered. Is afraid to get into trouble. Lies.
3<sup>rd</sup> intervention Selma is afraid of Elizabeth’s anger and wants to get away from Elizabeth. Selma sabotages the session so Elizabeth will leave.
Midpoint Turning Point-
Selma’s lie is discovered.
Act 3
Selma is conflicted. She fears Elizabeth’s anger but she must atone for her mother’s death. She decides atoning is more important. Make this decision a challenge to the core.
Selma must win Elizabeth back if she decides to show up.
New Plan-
Selma apologizes profusely and stops pushing Elizabeth.
4<sup>th</sup> intervention Selma deals with the anger using breathing techniques and drinking water. Is not challenged to the core as yet.
5<sup>th</sup> intervention has nothing emotional or challenged to the core as yet.
6<sup>th</sup> intervention Selma comes to care about Elizabeth as she becomes more than just a client. The challenge is now a personal quest to save Elizabeth.
Turning Point: Huge Failure/ Major Shift-
Elizabeth decides to go home. Selma is heartbroken when she offers her resignation to her boss, Gaia.
Act 4:
Climax/ Ultimate Expression of the Conflict-
Selma does a totally different kind of intervention. Up until now, she has used logic. Instead, she uses emotion. Selma is challenged and emotional while she does this.
Elizabeth breaks down and confides that she gave her daughter up for adoption because she was gaslighted. Selma cries with Elizabeth as she tells her story.
Selma and Elizabeth help each other fight Mark when he tries to kidnap Elizabeth at gunpoint.
Resolution-
Selma and her boss become a surrogate daughter/mother for each other. They have dinner in Selma’s apartment.
Selma accepts that her father was responsible for her mother’s death. Selma burns a box of her father’s possessions.
Selma and Elizabeth become friends. They create a worldwide self-help organization for survivors of domestic abuse.
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The parts in bold / italics definitely add emotional depth to the script. I liked your pitch for it today too.
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I liked your pitch too. I joined today in hopes that I will get over some of my fear.
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ASSIGNMENT lesson 3 \
Margaret Doner – DRAMA
What I learned from this assignment: This is complicated to some degree as I am writing this screenplay from a novel I wrote and so always trying to figure out what to put in and leave out. I have decided (at least at this point), to trim the past life memories down to two (from four) to make it much easier to follow in the screenplay. The script I am rewriting had all four in and I found it cumbersome. In the meantime I am figuring out ways to trim certain characters, or eliminate them altogether, or in other cases highlight a figure to make them even more prominent. The basic structure is inherent in the novel, and I am playing around with that to make it more streamline and fit into a screenplay genre structure.
Assignment: Like you saw in the example above, build the genre conventions into your 4-Act structure.
1. Tell us the following:
Title: Love and Destiny
Concept: A woman discovers her past lives are influencing her current life and lovers.
Genre: Drama
2. Make a list of the conventions for your chosen genre, like this:
Example for Drama:
Purpose: To delve into the interior landscape of human thought and emotion and reveal profound truths.
Demand for Emotional Impact: Protagonist undergoes a shift in her reality when spiritual and metaphysical realities push her to re-evaluate her life.
Mission: To prove to the doubters that her past life flashbacks are real.
Escalating Action: A murder of a son by his father in the theater she is involved with, causes her mental stability to be even more challenged and triggers another past life.
Protagonist: Victoria Barkley
Antagonist: Her deteriorating mental health as the people around her doubt her experiences as real.
PREVIOUS OUTLINE: LOVE AND DESTINY
Act 1: Opening
Flashback of Past Life with Jean Cobb and her husband John Cobb in Kensington Garden 1863…leads into present day. The Leads are introduced. Victoria and Dennis meet at outdoor faculty event at St. George college. Introduce the idea that the past life and the present life are linked. She is in Theater department he is in English department. Dennis is wearing a wedding ring.
Victoria’s boyfriend, Gary, is introduced as the owner of a Café in town. His father, who plays a big role in the ending is introduced. We find out that the father was in Dachau as a child.
Victoria is at faculty meeting and the idea of the play The Maids being performed is introduced with its potential controversy as characters are men in drag. This sets up the Midpoint which spirals Victoria downward.
Dennis visits Victoria’s classroom as she teaches Romeo and Juliet to a Shakespeare class. The sexual tension between them is heightened.
Sexual tension in Past Life Vision between Jean Cobb and her lover Franklin is intensified.
Victoria sees her friend Sally and tells her about her visions and tries to get her to understand. CHANGE TO THE OUTLINE IS: SALLY DOESN’T UNDERSTAND…and INVITES VICTORIA TO BE MAID OF HONOR IN HER VERY TRADITIONAL WEDDING WHICH HIGHLIGHTS THE FACT THAT VICTORIA FEELS EVEN MORE MISUNDERSTOOD AND DIFFERENT THAN THOSE AROUND HER.
The play The Maids is drawing the controversy from a parent of one of the actors…sets up the Midpoint tragedy further. CHANGE: THE YOUNG ACTOR IS STANDING FIRM TO HIS CONVICTIONS EVEN WHEN THOSE AROUND HIM ARE THREATENING HIM BECAUSE OF HIS LIFE CHOICES. THIS HIGHLIGHTS VICTORIA’S STRUGGLE TO BE TRUE TO HERSELF EVEN THOUGH THOSE AROUND HER DON’T SUPPORT HER VISION OF REALITY.
Inciting Incident: Victoria is in her therapist’s office and reveals her past life visions that are making her crazy. She tells him an old memory from this life and introduces a spiritual/helper figure that visited her as a teenager. Her therapist doesn’t want to deal with past life visions and Victoria realizes TURNING POINT that Dennis is the man she has been seeing in her past life visions and that they are linked karmically.
End Act One
ACT 11
New Plan: Victoria decides to tell Gary about the past life visions in the hope that, as a Buddhist, he can understand what’s happening to her. Instead they argue and she storms out.
Midpoint: Turning point. The controversy over the play The Maids reaches a peak when people are protesting with pickets on her lawn. They say the devil is at St. George college. Actors and faculty have to decide whether to go on with the play. They do and one of the fathers shoots his son when he is on stage in drag, and then kills himself on opening night.
Shaken to the core Victoria turns to Dennis for comfort and tells him about the past life visions she has been having. He reminds her he is married and can’t follow through on their attraction. Before he leaves, however, he kisses her deeply, sending her very mixed messages.
Victoria is in Ted’s office and trying to help her get over her trauma and images. Instead, she has more images in his office this time of Nazi Germany. Ted tries to tell her that the trauma she experienced is fueling these images and they have nothing to do with Nazi Germany.
ACT III
Rethink/React: Victoria is having a terrible time now with all the images and trauma and she reacts by asking her boyfriend Gary to marry her. He refuses because he sees that it is merely a reaction to all she is experiencing. This spirals her down further.
She goes to Gary’s café and sees him flirt with another woman. Her friend Sally meets her here and CHANGE: TALKS TO HER ALL ABOUT HER WEDDING PLANS WITHOUT NOTICING HOW UPSET VICTORIA IS ENHANCING VICTORIA’S FEELINGS OF BEING ALONE, ONCE AGAIN. Suddenly silent, they both watch Gary flirt with the woman. Victoria can’t watch anymore and she leaves and goes to the park.
While feeding the pigeons in the park a “wise man” spiritual/helper figure sits next to her, like when she was a child, and gives her wise advice and help.
Victoria must launch the Shakespeare play Hamlet and is auditioning students for the role. Dennis walks into theater and sits with her. They laugh and talk until he tells her that he remembered that he wrote a short story in college which mimics her visions of Jean and Franklin as Victorian lovers.
Victoria reads a few telltale lines as the student is performing lines from Hamlet. Dennis gets up and leaves his seat. Victoria is alone holding the pages of his short story.
Victoria goes home, its NIGHT Christmas and pours herself brandy. She grabs her coat and the bottle of brandy and goes outside to walk in the snow.
LOWEST POINT: She walks to Dennis Manon’s house and sees the lights and Christmas tree and people happy inside. She continues onward to main street and plops down on the empty street in front of Gary’s café and drinks more brandy. She staggers to her feet and looks that she has drunk more than half a bottle of brandy. She tries to take her pants down to pee and falls down on the ground. The police come by and arrest her and put her in jail to sober up. CHANGE; AFTER SOBERING UP VICTORIA HAS A MOMENT WHERE SHE PULLS HERSELF TOGETHER. BUT IT DOESN’T LAST.
Next day she leaves jail and goes home. Gary arrives to take her to his parent’s house for dinner and wonders why she is so disheveled. Victoria brings up marriage to Gary and his saying NO which sets everybody on edge and makes Gary angry. Their relationship reaches breaking point. Herman talks about being a Jew in Dachau which sets up flashbacks of Victoria to Dachau in her past life.
ACT IV:
Nazi flashbacks – Ted’s office. He tells her she needs a psychiatrist and drugs because she is having a breakdown.
She goes to Gary’s house, walks in on him and the woman he is flirting with having sex. She runs away and goes to her office. Dennis comes to her office and they have sex. She has Nazi flashback when she is having sex with Dennis (a Nazi and she is a Jew in his home at Dachau).
Dennis freaks out that they had sex and leaves.
Theater Arts department meeting to discuss the plays for the next semester. Everyone is nervous because of what happened with The Maids.
Victoria is maid of honor at Sally’s wedding. She wears a gaudy pink poofy dress which contrast with her mood.
As Victoria stands next to the bride and groom the Nazi flashbacks grow worse. She is pregnant with the Nazi’s baby. Tears roll down her face as they say their vows.
Flashback of Nazi’s gunning down children. Sally and her groom take the vows and go up the aisle. As people are leaving Victoria runs from church.
She goes to Ted’s office and tells him she needs to check into a mental hospital for a rest.
Towering Pines: Final flashbacks of her death at Dachau. A janitor comes to her room, but it isn’t a janitor, it’s the spiritual/wise man figure that comes to her when she is at her lowest points. Once again he imparts wisdom to help her get back on her feet. CHANGE; THIS ANGELIC FIGURE THAT COMES TO VICTORIA AT HER LOW POINTS IN LIFE IS ABLE TO ASSIST HER TO UNDERSTAND AND INTEGRATE HER THOUGHTS AND VISIONS.
She goes back home and Dennis comes over and they heal the wounds of their heart. She tells her therapist that she knows that the past lives are real and he tells her she is crazy. CHANGE; THIS TIME SHE STANDS UP TO HIM AND WE SEE HER STRENGTH RETURNING.
She meets Herman, Gary’s father, and tells him that she too was in Dachau. When she tells him her story he realizes that they were there together and he tell her that he remembers when the Nazi’s dragged her screaming across the camp and killed her, even though he was a young boy. CHANGE; ULTIMATE HEALING FOR VICTORIA. SHE REALIZES THAT SHE ISN’T CRAZY AND HERMAN AND VICTORIA HUG AND REJOICE IN THEIR SHARED EXPERIENCE WHICH MAKES BOTH OF THEM FEEL LESS ALONE AND VULNERABLE.
Resolution: Victoria quits her job and takes and offer to go to Boston and work in a theater there as a director. She leaves Gary, Dennis and her job behind and starts new with strength and determination having healed her past life karma with Dennis.
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Hi Margaret, a small point about your inciting incident. Nothing happens in a therapist office but talk. Would it work better if we actually saw one of Victoria’s past visions, with a voice over from her in the therapist office?
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I love how Victoria finds herself and her strength at the end but up until this point she seems passive like stuff just happens to her. It would be really awesome if she gradually became stronger throughout each event.
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Doug’s Genre to Structure
Learned: I added Drama to Coming of Age as genre. Aligning genre with structure was a helpful tool to identify scenes that could be added to or rearranged. Specifically, it was useful to focus on and track the key scenes of Paul’s growth via fails, lessons learned, and successes. Paul grows and overcomes his deepest fear/weakness, learns new skills, and reverses the table on the bullies & villains, defeating them.
Title: Rico Kid
Genre: Coming of Age – Drama
ACT I
Opening: 1970s – Paul (12) chases a lizard in the Utah desert and falls into a cave – darkness – focusses – and faces a charcoaled skull. When he returns to camp, his family members, knowing his fears, prank him with a ghost train.
Genre Paul’s greatest weakness = fears: Fear of dark and the spooky, fear of change (always moving in as the new kid). Back at camp his uncle calls him a fraidy cat and can’t believe he entered a cave. Paul fell – with a half-truth response, saying, he went right in. Paul is griped by fear when granddad advises that he return the skull so that the owner doesn’t come searching.
Around the campfire Paul’s family scares him. His grandfather has made up a story connecting the train and skull to plant the seed. His uncle uses 70s reel-to-reel recording of a steam locomotive, blasting its whistle, rushing toward them. All except mom-Mira, laugh at him. Very subtlety, his father Bob, points out that he faced his fear.
Inciting Incident: Paul moves with his family to a small Colorado mountain town as the fearful new kid.
Genre
Approaching town, the family car has a flat at the cemetery. Paul changes the tire with his father’s guidance. Bob tells him the story of a headless horseman that was buried in the cemetery that makes him afraid. But we learn that kids would run up to touch the headstone. This plants a seed – for use later.
At the cabin – Paul watches a Twilight Zone like show – the story has a creature with red eyes. Later, Paul is trapped between the cabin and outhouse by a creature with red eyes. This reflects his fear once again.
Paul turns to a strategy, cowboy bravado to face school. He meets Russ and they are chased to school by bullies Teddy and Billy. At school he takes the bet from them that he can ride a horse. He can’t, then stalls, (bravado) bumping the bet higher. Finds this is not the best strategy.
Turning Point: Paul’s father Bob, is injured in a mine shaft collapse and can’t provide for his family.
ACT II
New Plan: Paul must navigate his fears and earn money for his family.
Genre
Paul tries new strategies.
Plan in Action: Paul attempts to sell tourist collectables. He learns new skills from friends and a mentor Charlie (old miner). Charlie teaches him to pan for gold and pays him for cutting wood/stacking wood.
Genre
Paul learns from the actions of an outcast, but noble kid, Raymond – sacrifices to help him get away from the bullies.
Paul has been taunted by the bullies to man up. He attempts a jump from a train water tower to prove his manhood – it is an embarrassing failure.
New friends and love interest Sarah want to support him, stalling the horse-riding bet, raising the bet, and teaching him to ride – somewhat. Sarah’s best friend Beth teaches to climb a rope and how to punch and block.
The horse race plan fails.
An unethical attempt to sell items to tourists fails. He is corrected by owner of the Enterprise bar, Kitty.
Mentor Charlie an old miner teaches him – no way to quick gold riches. Provides work for pay.
Menter Charlie tells of how he and Paul’s granddad tricked and defeated a bully with a scary set-up for the local bully back in the day. This plants the seed.
Paul applies trickster lessons and causes Teddy and Billy trouble – they become enraged and plan retribution. They are threatened by their cruel stepfather, Dalton. He demands they get a treasure map the overhead Charlie talk about.
Midpoint Turning Point: Paul’s dog, Sandy is held hostage by bullies as they want payback via a beatdown for Paul and his friend, Russ. Their uncle, Dalton demands that they bring him Charlie’s treasure map.
ACT III
Rethink everything: Change of strategy and let go of the unethical.
New plan: Becomes a trickster – to outwit the bullies.
Genre
Paul brings home a book about magic and tricks. He tries one making his sister barf (success) but finds it can cause trouble.
Paul pulls a trick on the younger bully causing him to get in trouble with a cranky teacher. (success)
Paul outsmarts the bullies’ (success) plan to steal candy at a Halloween party in their haunted house.
Paul learns how to dance with Sarah for an upcoming Christmas party. But, at the party he is at first embarrassed; however, with help from friends, he reverses this (success) and negates the bullies’ pleasure.
Paul
Turning Point: Huge failure/major shift: Dalton, after Charlie’s treasure map – throws Paul into a pitch-black mineshaft. Stakes are at their highest – all is lost.
Genre
Paul faces his fear – attempts to get out. He has learned from Beth how to climb a rope and applies. (success)
ACT IV
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Paul creates a plan that includes school friends and townsfolk that have befriended him. The villains are coxed to the cemetery where Paul incites – inflicts fear, causing them to reveal themselves.
Genre
He applies his trickster skills – and creates a plan. He can fight – he can ride – somewhat.
Resolution: Bullies defeated – villains captured – lessons applied. Paul’s love connection consummates with his first awkward kiss (B story). Paul learns that his family is moving once gain to a new town – new challenges to be confronted with new skills.
Genre
Success with added growth and skills learned. But – moving – the new kid once again. Will these skills be enough?
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You have taken such simple events and created a beautiful strong character arc… marvelous!
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Elizabeth Cochrell, Genre Conventions
What I learned with this exercise is that I can try a new idea one day if I’m bored with the situation and then if I read it the next day, I’ll know if it works or not.
TITLE: Mom Fight
CONCEPT: What happens when a stripper MMA fighter with a bad temper tries to take responsibility for the daughter that was taken from her as a teen who has run away from her rich and twisted stepmother to be with her.
GENRE: Drama
PURPOSE: To explore stories with emotional and interpersonal high stakes for their characters.
CHARACTER-DRIVEN JOURNEY: We always need to care about the characters in a Drama, and their internal journey drives the film’s events and progression.
HIGH STAKES COME FROM WITHIN: Whether the story’s events are relatively mundane or intense, the struggles, obstacles, and stakes comes from within the characters more than from external pressures.
EMOTIONALLY RESONATES: Drama audiences want to feel and be moved by the characters’ emotions and how they experience the events.
CHALLENGING, EMOTIONALLY- CHARGED SITUATIONS: Characters get challenged to their core by the emotional situations and struggles that they run into.
REAL-LIFE SITUATIONS: Drama stories are grounded in reality.
4 ACT STRUCTURE:
Act 1:
Opening:
• Misha is an unhappy stripper who loses her pay over the damages from beating up the patron that wants his money back because she won’t give him sex.
• Rebecca is miserable because her friends are jealous, her stepmother calls her fat, and she hides the fact that her politician dad spoils but sexually abuses her.
Inciting Incident:
Rebecca shows up at the stripper’s home, tells her she running away and asks Misha if she can stay.
Turning Point:
• Sanjay the gym owner offers Misha the opportunity to make a lot of money in the MMA event but Misha is hesitant to do it until she gets a three day notice in front of Rebecca.
• Misha tries to do a high-class prostitution session to pay the bill, but when the trick says he wants anal sex she is so disgusted that she decides to commit to the dangerous MMA event instead.
Act 2:
New Plan:
• Misha decides to let Rebecca stay with her and signs up for the event.
• Misha gets a loan from Sanjay the promoter to cover her mortgage.
• Misha urges Rebecca to somehow convince her stepmom Emily to let her go.
Plan in action:
• Misha trains for the MMA event everyday, its hard and she is sore.
• Rebecca makes money from her dog business and gets a job at a vets.
• Rebecca gets in trouble with the police and learns Misha must care about her when she doesn’t kick her out.
• Misha convinces Rebecca to call her stepmother.
Midpoint Turning Point:
• Emily tricks Rebecca and Misha and steals Rebecca back to Beverly Hills.
• Rebecca’s absence makes Misha realize how much happier she is with her new responsible life.
Act 3:
React/Rethink:
• At first when Misha thinks Rebecca doesn’t care for her anymore, she quits the event.
• Rebecca’s dogs won’t leave, her friends make her self-reflect and she realizes she truly wants to be a responsible person and re-enlists in the event.
• Misha also realizes its not Rebecca that makes her feel better but her new way of training, sticking to commitments and helping friends that gives her satisfaction and self-esteem.
New Plan:
• Misha commits to the MMA event again does a promotional event at a goody goody mothers club for it.
• Misha takes care of Rebecca’s business.
• Misha gets on the news because they love the self-defense for self-esteem class she teaches.
• Rebecca is inspired watching Misha’s activities on the news.
Turning Point:
• Emily gets Misha kicked out of the MMA event by feeding Misha’s criminal record (that she helped trump up) to the sports authorities.
• Misha wants revenge on Emily but asks the mother’s club lady for help on starting her shelter instead.
• She can’t stand the thought of stripping anymore.
Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate Expression Of The Conflict:
• Minutes before before the fight event, Bradley tells Misha that Mayor Frank’s is Rebecca’s father not Bradley and Emily faked Rebecca’s goodbye text to Misha.
• Bradley fears Mayor Frank will go for Rebecca soon.
• Misha fights and gets hurt but wins the event.
• Rebecca snaps out of her depression and kicks Emily’s ass when Misha arrives to rescue her.
• Misha gets shot and we don’t know if she survives.
Resolution:
• Mayor Frank and Bradley go to jail.
• Misha’s women’s shelter is combined with Rebecca’s dog whispering.
• They forgive the now broken and wounded stepmother Emily.
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I can see your story clearly and it’s quite strong! I love this – “What I learned with this exercise is that I can try a new idea one day if I’m bored with the situation and then if I read it the next day, I’ll know if it works or not.” I need to practice this.
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Bill Curley. Lesson 3 Learned: I was really encouraged by incorporating this lesson with the newly learned 4 Act structure. That was a real breakthrough. All these lessons and insights are now better understood and performed with the 4 Act paradigm. Title: “Cane” Concept: A true Sci Fi climate disaster story with a mixture of the Thriller genre , a condition that adds excitement. Genre: Primarily Sci Fi with elements of the Thriller genre. Main Conflict: A university professor must outwit a psychotic oil CEO and warn the US President of a mammoth hurricane. Purpose: A professor,s prediction of climate disasters made 55 years ago is now happening. While attempting to convince high level authorities of the likelyhood of a monster hurricane, the prof must outwit assasins hired to kill him by a Miami based oil exec. Demand: The professor, Dr. Tomo Nikigami, must without fail appeal and convince the US President, Hans Bitterman, that action must take place now, principally the complete evacuation of Florida. Mission: To survive a ninja attack at his lakeside condo and continue to sound the alarm. Escalating Action: The oil exec is determined to silence the prof. At the same time indications in the Atlantic suggest the development of a Biblical type storm system. It is the feared super hurricane ” Cane”. Hero: Climatology Professor at Southern Wisconsin State University, Dr. Tomo Nikigami. Antagonist: Mr. Robert Conley of Conley Oil LMT. Conley is a psychotic oil CEO whose late father was accused of rising CO2 levels by an exchange student from Japan back in the mid 1960,s. That student, incredibly, was Tomo Nikigami. Now oin 2025 Professor Nikigami threatens Conley,s oil empire. Structure: Inciting Incident. A secret meeting between Nikigami and two grad students will lead to a bombshell announcement of a massive cover up of Global Warming in 1966. The parties responsible were involved with JFK,s assisination due to oil discovered off the coast of South Vietnam. A student spy in Nikigami,s class, one placed there by Conley to monitor liberal climate change professors like Dr. Nikigamial, reports to her boss, that being Robery Conley. Midpoint Twist. Conley ups the ante. He sends five trained assasins to Nikigami,s Madison. WI lakeside condo to murder him. Act 3 to 4 low point: Nikigami is now tailed by informants to set up another kill op. The storm he feared is now rapidly developing in the western Atlantic Basin. He, Nikigami, is rescued in a college football stadium from danger by a military chopper via Presidential decree and is wisked to the Pentagon War Room to assist President Hans Bitterman as the ” Cane” megastorm is about to destroy Florida. Act 4. A Biblical disaster unfolds. The massive hurricane is at peak. As it moves and ultimately dies in the High Arctic the planet,s current climate is rapidly flipped to a Mesozoic Hot House climate not seen I 70 million years. Final scene Act 4: All the main characters stand next to a couple military Humvees just south of Jacksonville, FL. I 95, severely damaged and unrecognizable, runs straight into an open ocean. Florida is GONE.
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Can you format this for legibility?
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Day 3:
James’ Genre Conventions
What I learned doing this assignment is that some of the genre conventions were already there and this assignment allowed me to expand the scope of the romantic comedy in my story by adding and altering scenes.
Tell us the following:
· Title: Love and Toys
· Concept: An R-Rated romantic comedy where the female lead must conceal her sex industry past for her current relationship to stay intact and flourish.
· Genre: Romantic Comedy
Romantic comedy genre conventions:
· Purpose: Jessica and Rufus long for real and meaningful love in their lives.
· The journey of love: the two leads meet trapped in an elevator, but play hard to get. However, they are attracted physically and mentally due to their talents, sharpness, and wit. Their pasts get in the way and don’t allow progress in their relationship, yet the initial attraction was so strong that they must be together knowing they’re one another’s true love.
· Relationship set-up: Jessica and Rufus meet and get trapped in an elevator.
· Issues: Jessica and Rufus must overcome their pasts; she conceals her sex industry past and he must get over a cruel breakup.
· Separation: Rufus catches Jessica in compromising situations where he assumes the worst, but she is not given the chance to explain and clear the air.
· Comedy: humor is explored through the embarrassing and revealing situations the characters face throughout the story. The characters are unique and eccentric given their points of view of the world.
Structure with more genre conventions:
Act 1:
Opening: Jessica Blue and her boss, Bart Hillman, are introduced. They have a contentious relationship.
Inciting Incident (The Cute-Meet): Jessica and Rufus get stuck in an elevator together and create a friendly acquaintance that leads to more meetings.
Turning Point: Rufus proposes Jessica a job offer to help with the development of a project he’s been mulling over for months.
Act 2:
New plan: Jessica intends to entertain Rufus’ job offer to see where it leads while still fulfilling the needs as a sex toys representative.
Plan in action: Jessica meets with Rufus and gains a better understanding of the project he wants to develop and simultaneously visits her customers with their special orders.
Issues: Rufus gradually sees Jessica’s sex industry past come to the forefront; former colleagues, friends, and actors (men and women).
Midpoint Turning Point (Separation): Rufus walks in on Jessica surprising her and sees all the sex products; he assumes the worst which she tries to explain. A rift is created between them.
Act 3:
Rethink everything: Jessica leaves her sex toys jobs and pursues her goal in becoming her own boss; this is in reaction to Rufus walking out on her without an explanation.
New plan: Jessica intends to use her customer base to launch and grow a podcast then to build a following that will ultimately serve as patrons for her boutique.
Issues: Rufus reveals the heartbreak he experienced to Jessica; he hasn’t fully recovered from his past.
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift (Separation): Jessica is caught in a compromising position by Rufus and he again believes the worst. He storms out without listening to an explanation; a major rift has emerged.
Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Jessica and Rufus attend a dinner hosted by one of his friends, but an old colleague of hers catches up to her at the event and causes chaos.
Separation: Rufus believed the worst was behind him and Jessica, yet an old flame emerged causing doubt and turmoil in their relationship.
Resolution (Reunification): Rufus listens to Jessica’s commentary about love during her podcast and realizes she has always been the one for him.
Ending (Resolution): Jessica receives word that Francine has passed and is given a letter delivered by Angie. The letter is Francine’s wish for Jessica to find and forever to hold on to the love of her life (Rufus).
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I love everything in he outline except how they meet. The elevator seems a bit cliche and I would love to see them meet somewhere that plays into the main conflict of the story.
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Ed Etzkorn’s Genre Conventions
What I learned: Wow, there really IS a way of improving the structure!
TITLE: Home with a Past
GENRE: Horror
CONCEPT: A teenage girl must deal with the demands of a hostile Entity in her new home even as she relives the dying moments of children from around the world, while trying to convince friends she’s not a witch and parents she’s not psychotic.
Act 1:
[NEW: Consider starting film with scene when Azuri was 2 years old and cried uncontrollably when her infant brother in other room suffered crib death. Colors the rest of her life as well as her parents’ attitude toward her.] Then see family entering new rural Oregon home, aware it has a
past history of some tragic incident that happened there. Azuri’s unexplained vision, later invisible
footsteps, frightening sound; her unexplained acute anxiety reaction in neighbor’s barn. Investigate other homes sold
with similar history; consult old people in neighboring house; another
similar, but more frightening incident occurs.Act 2:
Finally makes contact with the
entity, but it raises more questions than it solves. Entity ups the ante;
pushes mom down cellar stairs
Azuri blamed for her mom; more
episodes of experiencing kids’ dying thoughts; more desperate efforts to
find who the entity was in life and what it wants. [Expand entity’s background. Mom reveals episode that occurred when brother died.] Attempt to kill or severely
wound Azuri. Friends turn against her, think she’s a witch; parents think
she’s having mental breakdownAct 3:
More information from old
folks; prod real-estate agent for more history, visit last house with a
past
More extreme experience of
violent thoughts of teen who killed his father; entity attacks mom again;
garage burns when only Azuri is home. Both parents now fully blame Azuri
and want to send her away
Almost out of control, Azuri
runs away, no longer knows whom to turn to.Act 4:
Azuri desperately contacts
entity, finds she and the entity have much in common. House begins to burn
as Azuri is asleep alone upstairs. Final discussion with entity as Azuri
breathes in smoke, falls into a coma
Resolution: The entity sees
itself in Azuri, saves her from the fire by carrying her outside the house
to safety. Azuri experiences the entity’s last dying thoughts as it
passes on into death.-
I really like how succinct and clear your writing is. Seeing other peoples’s dying thoughts is very compelling
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Jonathan Clark’s Genre Conventions
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”
I learned that this story is actually more strongly aligned with the emotional intensities of the Drama Conventions than with those of the Thriller Conventions (who knew?). As such, even as the Thriller Conventions must be strongly represented in order to maintain the story’s forward momentum, I need to deepen the story’s Drama Conventions in order to elevate all the emotional punches I’m looking for. With this in mind, I have now changed my High Concept logline to reflect the change of focus, from full-out Thriller, to emotional Drama.
Title: Saving Mona
Concept: Inspired by actual events: After stealing the Mona Lisa in 1911 and being forced to sell forgeries of the painting by a powerful gang, an obscure Italian, Vincenzo Peruggia, must sacrifice himself, and the Mona Lisa, too, in order to save the love of his life.
Genre: Drama
CONVENTIONS OF DRAMA
PURPOSE: To explore stories with emotional and interpersonal high stakes for their characters.
CHARACTER-DRIVEN JOURNEY: We always need to care about the characters in a Drama, and their internal journey drives the film’s events and progression.
HIGH STAKES COME FROM WITHIN: Whether the story’s events are relatively mundane or intense, the struggles, obstacles, and stakes comes from within the characters more than from external pressures.
EMOTIONALLY RESONATES: Drama audiences want to feel and be moved by the characters’ emotions and how they experience the events.
CHALLENGING, EMOTIONALLY-CHARGED SITUATIONS: Characters get challenged to their core by the emotional situations and struggles that they run into.
REAL-LIFE SITUATIONS: Drama stories are grounded in reality.
Act 1:
Opening
Vincenzo Peruggia is an enigma, in court for stealing the Mona Lisa, and everyone wants to know ‘why he did it’. An old Frenchman, Yves Chaudron, tells the story, starting with Vincenzo’s childhood upheavals and the childhood of Chaudron’s own daughter, Italia Chaudron. By the end of Act 1, Vincenzo is an orphan living on the streets. He is physically ‘free’, but shut down emotionally because he’s lost the only thing he’s ever really loved: his family. Italia, however, is an absolute ‘free spirit’, but she’s trapped within an un-empathetic family and can’t move around freely.
Stuck in Debtors prison, Vincenzo’s mother makes him promise to never do anything that will land him in jail. He promises. But when Vincenzo’s thrown out of the prison after his mother dies, Vincenzo has a bad run-in with a street gang and nearly kills the gang’s leader, a young Castigione. So he runs away to Paris, promising himself he’ll never do anything illegal again.
Inciting Incident
10 year old Vincenzo’s father, a wood carver, is killed in a way that makes Vincenzo feel guilty. His mother, a wonderful painter, dies in debtors prison.
Italia’s mother dies of TB, devastating Italia. Her father, Chaudron, retreats into himself and his gambling, trapping Italia in her room with nothing but her easel and paints.
Turning Point
Years later, depressed and alone, working at the Louvre, Vincenzo witnesses a swarm of radical Impressionists trying to destroy Classic Paintings with acid. The Mona Lisa reminds him of his mother. So, on impulse, he steals Mona to save her. (BTW, Picasso was actually arrested for the theft and then let go for lack of evidence). Soon after, the Mona Lisa simply vanishes from Vincenzo’s home. Vincenzo becomes paranoid, sure he’s being watched. After a year, the Mona Lisa strangely reappears, propped up on his table at home. There’s a note with her, telling Vincenzo to quit his job and bring Mona back to Italy. Or else.
Act 2:
New plan
On the train to Florence, Italy, Vincenzo is forced to sell a fake Mona to a wealthy American. He realizes a gang member he once slashed, Castigione, is the person behind the fraud. Arriving in Florence in wild circumstances that involve an Art Dealer, Arthur Gelli, and in the middle of a Nationalist Parade (historically, this is just after the Italian-Turkish War), Vincenzo literally slams into Italia, Yves Chaudron’s daughter. After breaking into her room to talk to her, Vincenzo is nearly killed by house Servants. Unknown to everyone, Italia is sick, coughing blood into her pillow.
Plan in action
Caught by the very powerful Count Edwardo De Valfierno, Italia’s fiance and Castigione’s boss, Vincenzo is given new instructions for another fraud. De Valfierno tells Castigione to kill Vincenzo once Vincenzo’s usefulness has expired… after two more frauds. Vincenzo realizes his wooden case, with the Mona Lisa in it, has vanished. After tracking down his badly battered case, and having a fight in the middle of a Nationalist parade, he breaks into the Uffizi Museum to fix his case, and the damaged Mona, but gets locked in.
Midpoint Turning Point
Thrown in jail, Vincenzo can’t handle it, and nearly melts down. Castigione bails him out. Tells him Italia has run off. Vincenzo better not be the reason.
Act 3:
Rethink everything
Based on their prior conversation, Vincenzo figures out where Italia’s gone. He and Italia spend the day together in the countryside, swimming, but when things turn sexual, Vincenzo refuses Italia’s advances because they aren’t married. Italia tries to marry him before God with a blade of grass as a ring. Returning to his apartment, Vincenzo is questioned by Detectives about the Mona theft, all while Mona is right there under the tablecloth.
New plan
Vincenzo can’t take it anymore, and tries to destroy Mona by dropping her in the Arno River, but just can’t do it. He slinks back to De Valfierno and the next big fraud. Soon after, Vincenzo can’t help himself and breaks into Italia’s house. Sees dozens of fake Mona Lisas. Finds Italia in her room and realizes how sick she actually is. Caught by Miss Fortuna, Italia’s overbearing chaperone, Vincenzo leaves peacefully after professing his love for Italia and saying she needs ‘something to live for’. With money in his pocket from the fraud, though, the next day he buys himself a new suit and goes to Chaudron’s house to ask for Italia’s hand in marriage. He just knows they’re Fated to be together.
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift
But it’s too late. Italia’s getting married that day to De Valfierno. Vincenzo races to the ceremony at the Duomo, but the deed is done. He sees the Man With The Gaudy Rings On His Fingers and runs off. Vincenzo buys a trumpet, one Italia’s wanted, as a wedding present. Vincenzo leaves her the trumpet… and the case with the Mona Lisa. Leaves a note for her to meet him at the train station so they can run away together if she so desires. At the station, however, a Servant brings a note from Italia telling Vincenzo to go back to Paris, he’s not wanted. The servant also returns the trumpet. Completely dejected, Vincenzo boards the train. But just as the train leaves Florence, Vincenzo finds in the trumpet Italia’s pearl necklace, the one she got from her mother, and realizes Italia does love him. But Castigione and De Valfierno are on the train. It’s a setup. They want Vincenzo to sell another Mona Lisa to a contingent of Turks! It all goes wrong, and Vincenzo barely survives as he leaps from the train. Castigione is mortally injured when he’s thrown from the train by De Valfierno to kill Vincenzo. Vincenzo tries to save Castigione, but can’t. Just before dying, Castigione tells Vincenzo to kill De Valfierno for him, and steal back Italia, as it’s obvious they love each other. Vincenzo promises he will.
Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict
With his last bit of cash, Vincenzo manages to get a very fast drive all the way back to Italia’s house. He breaks in, gets to Italia. She’s not doing well. All she’s been able to do is constantly throw her wedding ring away before it’s put back on her finger. De Valfierno arrives and hunts down Vincenzo, shooting Vincenzo through the hand. Vincenzo barely escapes with the Mona Lisa, thanks to a Servant. Vincenzo then brings Mona to the nearby Art Dealer, Arthur Gelli, who immediately creates a stir, yelling out on the street for Carabinieri (Italian Police) to arrest Vincenzo. Vincenzo arrives back in front of Italia’s house, taunting De Valfierno, telling him all the powerful people he defrauded will now have De Valfierno killed. Seething, De Valfierno pushes Italia back, and points his gun at Vincenzo from Italia’s window as Carabinieri swarm toward Vincenzo. But before De Valfierno can kill Vincenzo, De Valfierno himself is killed with a sharp-ended homemade paintbrush in the hands of Italia’s overbearing chaperone, Miss Fortuna. Vincenzo is dragged away by Carabinieri as Italia screams for him.
Resolution
Back in the courtroom from the Opening Scene, the Lead Judge bangs his gavel, yelling at Vincenzo to explain ‘why he did it’. And as the crowd, many of whom we now recognize from all the Pro-Italy Nationalist Parades that Vincenzo encountered all through his stay in Florence, finally hush, Vincenzo raises his eyes, looks at everyone, and says: ‘I did it for Italia.’ It takes a moment, but the fervor of the Nationalist crowd is suddenly and absolutely explosive. Old Chaudron, still being interviewed, explains that Vincenzo was basically set free as an Italian hero. And when Vincenzo’s released from jail, Italia, worse for wear, but alive, is waiting for him. She had something to live for. Without a word, Vincenzo kneels down, plucks up some tall grass, and wraps it around her finger like a wedding ring. With the interview now done, Old Chaudron leaves. The interrogators are all characters we’ve seen before: Giovanni Poggi, head of the Uffizi, Arthur Gelli the art dealer, the Detectives from Vincenzo’s room. They wonder if Chaudron actually told them the truth. Meanwhile, Old Chaudron heads home, where we see many of the characters from the story, including Italia, Vincenzo, and Miss Fortuna. Chaudron tells them all it went well. He then heads down to a small room off the wine cellar that we’ve seen before, locks the door behind him, and sits down with a glass of wine. He pops a hidden lever, and the wall springs open to reveal: the Real Mona Lisa, the one with those telltale marks on the edge where Vincenzo fixed it.
QUESTION: I feel like one of the Interviewers revealed at the end could have a certain importance throughout the story. I’m thinking of going one of three ways:
1) The reveal is a Man With Gaudy Rings On His Fingers that we’ve seen throughout the story a) as a creep that priests at the orphanage give children to, to mess with. B) At a De Valfierno dinner party c) he’s the one who buys the fake Mona from Vincenzo at the second Fraud. If I go in this direction, the choice will leave a certain creepiness at the end and explain why Chaudron says they’re all leaving for France, but it won’t resolve the end in a pat way. Will this guy try to chase them down or not? So, an open-ended ending in that sense. And kinda creepy. Will that overshadow the love story resolution? Or…
2) The reveal is an Old Lady we’ve also seen at a De Valfierno party. She’s the one who buys the fake Mona from Vincenzo at the second Fraud. The Old Lady is so excited she has a heart attack. Vincenzo risks his safety to save her. So at the end when she says the investigation is over, it will be as a thank you to Vincenzo, and thus make it a closed ending… but is that too contrite and pat an ending? Does it smack of coincidence? And does this version also weaken Vincenzo’s sacrifice and arc at the end? Or…
3) Maybe I‘m overthinking this and I shouldn’t have a reveal at all, and just leaving the question hanging in the air: ‘Did Chaudron tell them the truth’?
Does anyone have an idea which way I should jump?
Other suggestions entirely, maybe?
Please let me know!
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I like the second option but I’m a sucker for happy, closed endings. I think the first one detracts from the main story. I’m open to the third ending too.
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Thank you for your insight, Lora! And I think you’re right, the first version would be too much of a downer. I think I’ll have to write it both the second and third ways and see what works best. Again, thank you, Lora, you’re awesome!
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