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Lesson 3 Assignment
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Subject: Monica’s Elevated Emotion!
Vision: I will continue to learn everything I can through all different media to apply what I learn to become the best screenwriter I can be. To be successful in getting my movies made and to win awards in the process.
What I learned from doing this assignment is it’s not as easy as it sounds. I struggled with this and that’s maybe because I was already thinking about emotions as I was writing it.
3. Make a list of the scenes you’ve chosen, along with the strategy you might use to improve it. Label those scenes like this: Scene 5 Essence, Scene 6 Essence, etc.
Scene 11: Essence: After accepting the mission, Conall learns the artefact isn’t in Iraq from Jay. And that Jay stole the artefact.
Betrayal: Harry lied about the artefact’s whereabouts.
Betrayal: Jay has stolen the artefact.
Forced to do something they hate: Conall will have to force Jay to give up the location of the artefact using force.
Forced to do something they hate: Jay will have to reveal his real self in order to safeguard the artefact.
Strategy: Make Jay’s “scary alien” come forth.
Scene 49: Essence: After failing to get the real artefact, Harry has a meltdown.
Triggers a wound: Harry misses his wife and feels he failed her. Just like he failed to get the artefact.
Betrayal: Harry thinks Conall betrayed him because the artefact didn’t give him the answer he wanted.
Loss/Disappointment: Harry’s getting drunk because he failed to get the artefact. He’s still grieving.
Strategy: Harry’s a mean drunk and takes on Conall and Jay.
Scene 51: Essence: Harry has recruited one of Conall’s men and he’s going to make a play for the artefact.
Betrayal: Harry betrays Conall again.
Betrayal: One of Conall’s men betrays him again.
Forced to do something they hate: Have to kill one of his men. Again.
Strategy: There’s more of a show down between Conall and Harry.
Scene 57: Essence: Trying to shut down the time streams that Harry created by messing with the artefact. The last time stream has the hounds of hell at the door.
Sacrifice: Have to rescue Harry from the time stream he jumped into.
Proving himself to others: Conall has to prove he’s not a hot headed, killer.
Redemption: Conall rescues Harry making sure he didn’t corrupt that timeline.
Experiencing Distress: The HoH are almost out of the timeline.
Humiliation: All Conall can do is stand ready to destroy the HoH as Jay works furiously to shut the time stream down.
Frustration: Jay can’t find the event they need to change.
Success mixed with tragedy: Harry kills Lieutenant Sarah.
Strategy: Conall has to deal with a couple of hounds that get through. Kills Harry.
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MODULE SEVEN LESSON THREE
FRAN’S ELEVATED EMOTION
WHAT I LEARNED: Taking my beatsheet, I just used it to see where I could intensify anything. It works to have something there to count on and work from. It’s building a great scaffold for my story.
MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.
(hook)
1718: St. Petersburg, Russia, Public Square
Russia’s crowned Prince Alexei is tied up in before a crowd of onlookers. His father, Peter the Great, interrogates him. Alexei is accused of trying to overthrow his father’s government. He’s tortured to wrench a confession out of him and forced to step down, accept his little son Peter Alexeyevich as the new successor. Alexei does not succumb. He “confesses” with these words:
“I shall bring back the old people and choose myself new ones to my will. When I become sovereign, I shall live in Moscow and leave Saint Petersburg simply as any other town. I won’t launch any ships, I shall maintain troops only for defense, and I won’t make war on anyone. I shall be content with the old domains. In winter I shall live in Moscow and in summer in Loroslavl.”
SCENE ESSENCE: Peter is about to execute his own son and heir for treason.
INTENSIFIED: Alexei remains defiant to the end.
DUNGEON CELL
Alexei is taken back to his dungeon cell, thrown in, half dead from the beatings. Peter watches as the jailors lock up his son and leave.
Peter tells his son he does this for the future of the Romanov dynasty and for Russia.
He then weeps bitter tears, a broken man.
That night Alexei dies from the beatings.
WE HEAR “CUT!”
We are transported into the present day
Film Studio.
Jerome Kearns, director of the movie. Calls it a wrap for the day. Meredith, his wife and screenwriter, watches as Jerome fawns over his young star who plays Catherine, Peter’s wife in the movie. She silently knows something is going on between them. They make a huge display of it. Meredith treats it like she hasn’t noticed, but she’s had it with her husband’s affairs.
Jerome calls it a day. Meredith reminds Jerome, it’s their daughter Alexandra’s birthday. It’s also close to Christmas. She heard of a novelty shoppe in Moscow she’d like to go to to see if they can find something appropriate there for her to send home.
Meredith remembers the marital problems they’ve been, that it’s been going on for a long time now.
SCENE ESSENCE: Jerome, Meredith’s husband is making a mockery of their marriage by flaunting his affair openly in front of her.
INTENSIFIED: She makes a snarky remark about his midlife crises and his sugar honey. And how everyone knows how she’s being treated by him and of his financial woes.
Moscow city square, night. Snow’s coming down.
NOVELTY SHOPPE
WE HEAR A SHOPPE’S BELL. Shopkeeper greets them. They are immediately shown to the display of antique jewelry. Meredith decides to look around. She finds a display of old books. She begins to peruse. Camera is on an exquisite, priceless St. George’s necklace. Jerome’s shown a necklace once owned by the Grand Duchess Olga Romanov. Very expensive. As Meredith peruses shelves of old books also located in the shoppe, she finds one, takes it down, opens it. It’s in Russian. She’s able to read some of it.
She learns it’s the story of Olga Romanov, written many years ago by a friend, Valentina.
Jerome insists on buying the necklace. He plays the big man on campus. The big Hollywood producer. He throws his money around like it doesn’t matter.
Meredith remembers how much Jerome always loved to buy expensive things. She remembers the necklace he bought her. Very expensive. Trying to lure her away from Kyron’s memory.
Jerome buys the necklace. He leaves not waiting for Meredith, telling her he’s got an important business meeting he’s got to go to. He can’t be late.
Jerome’s not as compassionate or loving towards her as when they first got together.
Meredith, lagging behind, buys the book then follows out the door behind Jerome.
SCENE ESSENCE: Meredith is being treated like a second class citizen in her marriage.
INTENSIFIED: Make it known just how much she hates being in the marriage.
APARTMENT in Moscow, evening
At their apartment, Meredith settles down to read her book. She learns the diary was written by a friend and confidante of Olga’s when she was a prisoner at the Military Hospital, Tsarskoe Selo, a nurse at the hospital, Valentina.
We hear the words she wrote:
There is a prophecy written about Olga. How a young princess will only live to see her twenty third birthday and no longer. But there is nothing about how she will die.
Jerome is on the phone pretending it’s business. It’s a call from the starlet. He hangs up, tells Meredith he’s leaving. He gets another call. This time it’s a call from a person he owes a lot of money to. He muffles a yell, “I’ll get you the money.”
Jerome prepares to leave. He tells Meredith, “Don’t wait up for me.” Meredith remarks after he leaves, “I hadn’t planned on it.”
Once Jerome is gone, Meredith calls her agent. She asks her to find her a divorce lawyer. She’s had it with his affairs with his starlets. And she’s had it with the money men who keep calling for him to pay up his debts.
SCENE ESSENCE: Jerome feigns he has a business thing that can’t wait to be resolved. But Meredith knows he’s going to see his lover. She doesn’t care.
INTENSIFIED: But once Jerome is gone, she actually does care. She gets made, throws a fit. Calms down by doing what she loves instead. And resolving to fix the issue once and for all. By leaving him.
FILM STUDIO, ON SET NEXT DAY
The starlet is throwing a fit. She’s having a huge problem playing the scene as written. She wants her lines—her part—fixed to her liking.
Meredith and Jerome get into a heated discussion over the scene and its integrity. The starlet wants her part bigger and written her way. Meredith’s heard it before. She pretends to slough it off. But this time, the starlet insists. Meredith is told to write it as the starlet wants it or he will find someone who will. Stunned, Meredith goes home to try to do write the scene as the starlet wants it.
SCENE ESSENCE: Jerome and Meredith argue over the scene instead of what’s really happening as they work. Both are charged up over Jerome’s infidelities and Meredith’s resistance to just letting it happen and be compliant about it.
INTENSIFIED: the scene gets ugly. The starlet gets involved with the fight.
APARTMENT
Meredith tries to work on the scene. But it’s not meshing. She doesn’t want to do it. She takes a break. Returns to her book for some solace.
She learns about the necklace they bought in the shoppe—and who owned it.
ROMANOV PALACE
Olga, still a young girl, on the verge of becoming a woman, her father Czar Nicholas presents Olga with a present. A St. George’s medallion. She loves the gift from her father.
The story intrigues her. One of the young Romanov children who was murdered by the Bolsheviks during the war and revolution, owned the necklace. Given to her by her father Czar Nicholas II of Russia. She reads further.
And then the story about Olga’s first love, Pavel, a young officer in her father’s service on the royal yacht.
SCENE ESSENCE: Meredith begins reading her book and begins learning about the turbulent life of Grand Duchess Olga. It’s not so different from hers.
INTENSIFIED: Olga is desperate to be her own woman, to love, to live in the manner she wants. To be damned with protocol and custom. She wants to be czar someday like Catherine the Great.
ROMANOV FAMILY YACHT
Meredith also learns about a family outing on their yacht, Olga has fallen in love for the first time with Pavel, a young officer in her father’s service. She confides it to her sister Tatiana. She is told it can never be. He is beneath her station. They can never marry.
APARTMENT
The story reminds Meredith of the time she was a young girl in college. She was in love with another man, Kyron. She can’t stop thinking about Kyron, how much they were in love when they first met at college.
They couldn’t be together either, family, social protocols. Mother didn’t approve. They broke up. He moved away, half way around the world. She hadn’t heard from him in a long time. The only other thing she remembered. She started dating Jerome when Kyron left and they had broken up And left for parts unknown.
Jerome was also one of his rivals in college—in the film school they attended. Jerome hated her once upon a time boyfriend, too.
SCENE ESSENCE: Meredith remembers the love she once had for her old flame. And how her family didn’t approve of their relationship.
INTENSIFIED: She had searched awhile for Kyron, but was never able to find him. She eventually gave up on him and started dating Jerome.
STARLET’S APARTMENT
Jerome and the starlet meet for their rendezvous. It is a torrid affair. One That Meredith has known about for awhile now.
In his zeal to be with the starlet, his money men contact him and warn him how much he owes them and wants their money yesterday.
SCENE ESSENCE: Jerome is cheating on Meredith. His frustration with his everyday life is getting to him. His affair is hot, torrid and filled with anger to strike back at the world.
INTENSIFIED: His money men call him in the middle of everything which makes Jerome even more on edge.
APARTMENT
Meredith tries to call her agent. No answer. She waits. Reads a bit more of her book.
ROMANOV PALACE
The next thing we learn, Pavel, Olga’s love, is asking Czar Nicholas for the hand of one of the ladies in waiting at court.
Olga, overhearing the proposal, is brokenhearted—and feeling very betrayed because she thought he loved her, too.
She remembers the hour she saw in the trades Kyron had become engaged to a beautiful starlet. They looked so happy. That’s when she decided to accept Jerome’s proposal, even though she didn’t love him like she did Kyron. She thoght she could be happy with him. It broke her heart.
Meredith gets an anonymous call. Tells her where Jerome is and what he’s doing. She informs the person on the phone with her she already knows and hangs up on them.
Meredith begins to remember a time long ago when their daughter, Alexandra, was still a little girl. She was playing one day and fell out of a tree, breaking her leg. Jerome, in his zeal to helpher, accuses Meredith of indulging her too much, allowing her to put their daughter in danger like this.
Meredith remembers it all and how Jerome always made her feel about her being a mother—like she was incompetent. She thinks on the passage she read about Alexei.
ROMANOV PALACE, GRAND BALLROOM SOME TIME LATER
Olga’s debutante ball. She is now a young woman. She still wears her father’s necklace underneath her strands of pearls.
She is introduced to her distant cousin Dmitri—a possible suitor for the young princess. She falls in love with him almost immediately.
Alexei, her little brother falls, hurts himself. He falls very ill. He is a hemophiliac.
Mother Alexandra is also a zealot in blaming.
SCENE ESSENCE: Olga’s coming of age ball is where she meets her betrothed, Dmitri. She falls in love easily, quickly, intensely. Dmitri is no slouch. He is handsome and he knows it. And he is agreeable to becoming Olga’s betrothed.
INTENSIFIED: Alexei in his fall, accident, is close to death.
FILM STUDIO NEXT DAY
The starlet is having another fit. The new scene is still not to her liking. She goes to Jerome, complains. Meredith is then introduced to her (new working partner on the script), rather unexpectedly and instead of working with him she is forced to go home.
Jerome tells her he already knows she’s thinking about leaving the project. Maybe it’s a good thing if she does.
SCENE ESSENCE: Jerome is getting ready to fire Meredith if she doesn’t comply. Meredith is forced to meet her replacement.
INTENSIFIED: Meredith cannot express her emotions right now. She storms out to go home—in order to call her agent.
APARTMENT
When she returns, there’s a message waiting for her from her agent. When can you come home?
THE PALACE GROUNDS
The young couple spend time together and seal their love for one another. They tell Olga’s parents. The parents are happy enough for their daughter. A wedding is in the works.
Olga never wants to leave Russia, she tells Dmitri. Russia is her home. Dmitri promises her she will never have to.
SCENE ESSENCE: Olga and Dmitri make vows of love, pledges of marriage to one another.
INTENSIFIED: Olga’s emotion for Russia is intensified here. She loves Russia. She doesn’t want to leave ever. She wants to be czar. Dmitri supports her in every way.
APARTMENT
Meredith tries to settle down. Jerome knows. Maybe it is better she leave the project. Leave him. He was never the kind of husband she dreamed of anyway. She returns to her book to read the part about Alexei’s illness.
ALEXEI’S ROOM
Her son gravely ill, Alexandra prays for his recovery. But nothing can be done. They believe this time he’s going to die. Alexandra vows she will do anything, give anything for her son to live.
Enter the monk Rasputin, who tells the czarina, he can save her son. He is a very bad man in the eyes of everyone around the czarina. But she listens to him. She is desperate. Rasputin tells her he can save her son–for a price. Everyone on the czar’s household, by the reputation Rasputin has in the city, knows what price Rasputin asks of the czarina. She pays it.
In front of Olga and Tatiana and little Anastasia. Alexandra leaves with Rasputin. Olga has some idea what the price might be that her mother must pay for Rasputin’s help. She holds nothing but hatred for the monk. But her grief for her little brother is more.
Olga vows that if Alexei dies, she will become czar and take care of Russia for him. Olga is told outright she can never be czar because of the laws. Women do not become czars or leaders of their country. They only become wives of the men who serve as Russia’s czars.
Olga is more than upset with the answer. More than angry. Why can’t she be czar? She vows she will not be kept from helping her brother, from becoming ruler of Russia—just like Cahterine the Great was in her time
Meredith learns in that day and age, boys, men were more important (all important) than women. She feels like Olga, wanting to do more, be more and she is held back, told no, not to rock the boat. She thinks of Kyron again and how their relationship was ended. It was not done in polite society. Marrying someone not of your own kind. We stick to our own kind. You will not see him again. Meredith cannot accept it now, wishes she hadn’t then like Olga.
SCENE ESSENCE: Alexei is ill. He has hemophilia. He is at death’s door. Olga wishes to help Alexei by becoming czar in his place if he cannot fulfill his duties or if he dies. Olga is told she can never be czar because she is a woman. This angers Olga. She vows no matter what the law says. She WILL BE CZAR.
Alexandra, afraid of losing her son, agrees to have sex with Rasputin. That is his demand for saving Alexei’s life.
INTENSIFIED: Olga has a huge temper and it flares here when she is told she cannot be czar. She throws a fit and vows no matter what, she will become czar.
In Alexandra’s eagerness to save her son, she alienates her family and especially Olga.
APARTMENT
Meredith puts her book down. She feels for the young princess. She knows how it is for some people in this life. And she knows how the young princess died, fulfilling the prophecy written about her. Meredith tries to call her agent again. She needs to talk to someone about Jerome. She calls her agent, tells her of the book she found, the story inside it. She wants to write a screenplay about it. She also wants out of this project with Jerome. She feels he’s going to fire her anyway. She believes he’s carrying on another affair, this time with the young starlet. She wants out of everything. The agent loves the story and she tells her not to worry she’ll look around to see if anyone’s looking for a story like that. In the meantime, write a treatment for her to look at. And she’ll see about getting an appointment with the lawyer she found for her.
Meredith feels new strength in her resolve. She will be like Olga and fight for what she wants. She will tell Jerome tomorrow her decision. She is going to leave the project and go home to start her own, new project, without him without anyone telling her what to do and how to do it.
SCENE ESSENCE: Meredith is resolved to end her terrible life with Jerome and find a new life to live, one that she can be proud of and write her stories in.
INTENSIFIED: Her feelings for Olga and her story resonate. She wants to write the story more than anything. She contacts her agent with such enthusiasm, the agent can hear it over the phone. And she is resolved this time to go through with leaving Jerome for good.
NEW DAY
FILM STUDIO
More of the same. Jerome is shooting, having a bad day. He gets another call from his “money man”. He is on the verge of losing everything. The starlet’s also giving him another hard time about the scene rewrite. She doesn’t like that one either. Jerome orders Meredith to write the scene the way the starlet wants it. Meredith says but it’s not the way the history was lived. Jerome introduces fires her and calls for her replacement on set.
Meredith retorts. Tells Jerome she is not fired. She quits in her own way. And she is going home.
SCENE ESSENCE: Meredith and Jerome’s fighting reach a peak. She is fired from the job. She goes back to her apartment to pack and go home.
INTENSIFIED: Meredith tells Jerome she isn’t going to put up with his abuse any longer. She is filing for a divorce when she gets home.
APARTMENT
Home again, Meredith gets a call from her agent. She thinks she’s found someone who wants to film the script. Also, she has an appointment with her lawyer as soon as she gets home.
Meredith hops on a plane and heads home for the United States. Meredith feels relief and tells her agent, it’s the best news she’s gotten all day.
HOME AGAIN, RESTAURANT
Meredith meets with her daughter to tell her she’s going to divorce her father. She gives Alex the gift and then tells her it’s not working out with her father and her anymore. Alex sides with her mother. Tells her she’s known about the affairs, the arguments. The money. She’s okay with it. She wants her mother to be happy. Asks, when is she going to see her lawyer.
They are interrupted by Meredith’s agent and a man who’s with her. The man who wants to film the script. It’s Meredith’s old flame, Kyron, of many years ago–AND Jerome’s old rival.
Meredith is floored. She hasn’t seen this man in years. She hasn’t spoken to him. Kyron tells her he’s been divorced for a long time. It wasn’t right. It didn’t work out. He never forgot Meredith. Old feelings start to gush up insider all over again. Does she still love him after all this time, after all these years?
SCENE ESSENCE: Meredith and her daughter Alex are having lunch. Meredith wants to tell he about the divorce. But Alex already knows about her father. She supports her mother in this. She is also starting a new job. Her agent introduces her to her new partner in the restaurant: it’s her old flam, Kyron.
INTENSIFIED: Meredith’s feelings are renewed the moment she see Kyron. They are intensified when she learns he is her new partner on the project.
OFFICE
Meredith and her old flame talk about the new project they want to undertake. What intrigued him the most is the story of Rasputin and the conspiracy to assassinate him. A story as old as time. An intrigue that often happens in court settings.
Olga, he tells her, must have been heart broken when she learned Dmitri was part of the plot. And he was banished from Russia and from her seeing Olga again. Meredith adds.
They talk about their past relationship. And they talk about Jerome. Why it didn’t work out for them.
She remembers how her parents fought her on the idea of marrying such a man. It just wasn’t done in the polite society. Meredith says she’s sorry it happened. But her old flame realizes and tells her it wasn’t her fault. Maybe we can be–friends, he adds. She says yes. She would like that.
Kyron reminds her that was long ago, then, this is now. We no longer have to hide from the whims of polite society. They can work together. No one will blink. No one will accuse him of being the wrong cast. The wrong helper. He puts Meredith at ease.
SCENE ESSENCE: Meredith and Kyron, together, go over the script, the story. Discuss the parts of the story they like. They are spurred on to talk about what happened between them a long time ago.
INTENSIFIED: The relationship is one that is biracial and in their younger years, Meredith’s family did not approve of their relationship. Meredith had to give Kyron up to please her family. But she never wanted to do that. She was always in love with him. She looked for him for a long time after, tried to find him, but he could never be found. He tells her he didn’t want to be found. Not for a very long time because of their breakup.
ROMANOV PALACE
Dmitri and others of the royal palace gather together to plot against Rasputin. Rasputin has embarrassed the family. Defamed Alexandra and he must be dealt with accordingly. Dmitri is not sure it’s the right thing to do. Olga, the family. They depend on his helping Alexei. His cohorts talk him into it. They try to poison him with pastries, but that doesn’t work. Finally, in a desperate move they bludgeon him and throw him into the river to drown him. Rasputin miraculously escapes the river, but dies anyway.
Alexandra learns of the plot and how Rasputin died. She banishes Dmitri from the court, from Russia and bars him from ever seeing Olga again, breaking Olga’s heart.
SCENE ESSENCE: Court intrigue. The plot against Rasputin is carried out. But it backfires. Dmitri, the others are caught. Dmitri is banished from Russia and forbidden to return or marry Olga.
INTENSIFIED: Olga is angry with her mother. They have a knockdown dragout fight over Dmitri’s banishment.
HOME
Meredith is home again. She begins work on a part of her screenplay.
WAR IN EUROPE
World War I begins in Europe. Russia is affected, devastated by the war. The rise of the Bolsheviks take place. There is a plot to overthrow the czar and take over.
Nicholas is remorseful. He sees the dire straits Russia is in. He hands the reigns of government over to his brother Michael.
SCENE ESSENCE: As Meredith begins work on her screenplay, she learns about the war in Europe the toll it’s taken on Russia. And the plot to overthrow the czar. Nicholas turns over this throne to his younger brother Michael.
INTENSIFIED: There is much hurt, starving, depravity in the war Russia experiences. Nicholas is torn between his rule, and giving it away either to his brother or the Bolsheviks. He can do neither right now. His worry is Alexei and his whole family.
HOME
Jerome is home again. The film is complete. He wants to see Alex. Meredith tells him she’s not here. She’s away. He missed Christmas, her birthday. But Jerome doesn’t want to hear any of it. He only wants to know why he was served with papers to dissolve their partnership—AND their marriage. Meredith forces him to listen. For many reasons, but mostly his affairs and treating her like dirt. She already packed this things. They are at his club waiting for him there.
There is a huge argument between them. Jerome brings up the fact that he’s heard Kyron’s back in town. He accuses Meredith of wanting a divorce because Kyron happens to be back into her life. He accuses her of being unfaithful, other things. She returns the jab about how many starlets has it taken for me to wake up to your little affairs. And yes. She also knows about the money situation. She’s not going to be a part of paying back gangsters.
Jerome leaves—very unhappy. He warns her it is not going to be an easy settlement or divorce. Be prepared to go to court.
SCENE ESSENCE: Jerome returns home. But there is a huge argument. Meredith has packed his things and moved them out. She is serious about her divorce.
INTENSIFIED: Meredith has moved Jerome’s things to his club and she has vowed to go through with the divorce, even if it means a nasty court battle.
ROMANOV PALACE
Olga and Alexandra have it out. Olga is angry Dmitri had been sent away. And she’s angry with her mother to have let Rasputin ruin her reputation like he did. Their argument is interrupted by the Bolsheviks taking the family captive. They are taken to
TSARKSKOE SELO
A military hospital. There the family works to take care of the wounded soldiers. This is where she meets her Valentina. They become friends.
SCENE ESSENCE: Olga and Alexandra have a huge argument over Rasputin. Their arugment is interrupted by the Bolsheviks who take the Romanovs to the military hospital where they will be held as hostages and work there to treat the wounded soldiers.
INTENSIFIED: The Romanovs are treated extremely poorly by the Bolsheviks.
OLD FLAME’S OFFICE
Meredith and her old flame discuss part of the script she’s working on. The old flame urges her to use the story of Olga to cleanse herself from Jerome. Some of Olga’s woes sound very much like Meredith’s. She has a hard time acclimating herself to the work at the hospital. It’s not her. She gets into arguments with the staff, her supervisor. The war, and the war with her mother still raging, isn’t helping.
Meredith and her old flame go out on the town. Wine, dine, dance, discuss their past relationship. They start to rekindle the feelings they have for one another. They make love together. Like old times. The argument she had with her family against her loving her old flame disappears.
SCENE ESSENCE: Kyron and Meredith finally get together. It starts out as a working relationship. It quickly turns into a full blown affair.
INTENSIFIED: The affair is intense and a happy one for Meredith. She is finally back with Kyron, she has defied her family’s objections. She is happy.
HOME
Meredith takes her old flame’s advice and uses her scripts to cleanse herself of her troubles with Jerome.
Olga has a hard time of it, trying to be a nurse. She loses it in the OR and she is given a desk job to do. Until there is a major battle and many soldiers come in wounded. She is forced to take care of some of the soldiers. She is assigned to a Dmitri. She nurses him, and a few others in the room with him, back to health. Seemingly they fall in love.
SCENE ESSENCE: Meredith uses Olga’s story to cleanse her bad feelings from her. Olga at the hospital befriends Valentina, another nurse there. She finds herself assigned to some wounded soldiers during an intense battle. She falls in love with one of them, Dmitri. It appears Dmitri has fallen in love with her, too.
INTENSIFIED: It is a very emotional time for Olga, not home. At odds with her family, the people she works with, the Bolsheviks. It deepens her love for Dmitri all the more. He is forbidden fruit. Beneath her station. Yet, she thinks this Dmitri will make her happy.
COURTROOM
The divorce and the dissolution of the partnership is a battle royale.
Jerome brings up her “affair: with Kyron. And countersues for a great deal of money.
It drains Meredith of her emotions. Everything comes out, including the affairs Jerome had over the years. And much of the abuse Meredith had to suffer because of Jerome’s actions, unfaithfulness.
And her time with Kyron when they were in college.
SCENE ESSENCE: AS IS
INTENSIFIED: AS IS
TSARSKOE SELO MILITARY HOSPITAL
Olga writes another love letter to Dmitri. He is well now. Able to go back to the front. She remembers the vows they shared between them. The intimacy—vows of unspoken love.
Dmitri, fully recovered, leaves the hospital with a few of his friends. But not before he gets Olga’s last letter. They go out to celebrate.
TAVERN
Dmitri and his friends get drunk. He shares the letters Olga wrote to him while he recuperated. They make fun of her and the letters.—and of her station, now just a poor nurse taking care of the wounded in a military hospital. Quite a fall from grace.
SCENE ESSENCE: AS IS
INTENSIFIED: AS IS
TSARSKOE SELO
Olga learns of the betrayal. She tells her father. He is understanding. He tells her one day the war will be over and they can get back to their lives. The Bolsheviks will be punished in time. And Dmitri will be punished for his insolence. That isn’t enough for Olga. She confronts Dmitiri and admonishes him for his cruelty. Tells him he will pay for his sin against her.
But, sadly, it is not to be. By this time, the Bolsheviks enter the hospital and take the family away to another, hidden location.
Valentina is devastated. She has a horrid feeling she will never see her friend again.
SCENE ESSENCE: Olga learns of her betrayal. The war will soon be over and the people responsible will be punished. Olga confronts Dmitri.
INTENSIFIED: It is an intense fight between them. Olga’s ire is over the top. She says he is never to step foot in court ever or ever to see her again. If he does it will mean his death.
COURTROOM
Meredith gladly settles so she can win her divorce and get the partnership with Jerome dissolved. She and her old flame go out to celebrate.
THE FILMS ARE FINALLY WINDING UP. Meredith and Old flame watch the final scenes together in the editing room.
SCENE ESSENCE: AS IS
INTENSIFIED: THEY ARE ELATED. HAPPY. THEY CELEBRATE.
THE LAST CELL FOR THE ROMANOVS
The Romanovs are held hostage only for a short while. Away from everyone. No one knows where they are. They do not know their fate, what will happen to them. Until, one day, the Bolsheviks return into the cell and murder them. It is a brutal murder, a brutal scene.
The Bolshevik soldiers rob them of their possessions. One young soldier stands over Olga’s body. He sees the St. George medal, rips it from her neck, pockets it before leaving.
SCENE ESSENCE: AS IS
INTENSIFIED: AS IS
We are transported back to
OLD FLAME’S FILM STUDIO
Meredith and the old flame are ecstatic. The scene is perfect. The edit’s perfect. The movie’s finally finished.
They go out to celebrate.
SCENE ESSENCE: AS IS
INTENSIFIED: AS IS
MONTHS PASS
Jerome’s film and Meredith’s film are out. They are being viewed in a major film festival
FILM FESTIVAL
Meredith gets rave reviews. Many talk Golden Globe, OSCAR.
Jerome’s film is not well received.
Jealous of Meredith’s work. He tries to downplay it then outright sabotage it and her good good.
He bad mouths it, calls in a few favors to try to get her film to fail in the nominations. BUT …
OSCARS
Meredith is up for an Oscar–best screenplay. Even though Jerome tried, she wins.
Drunk, Jerome gets up, when Meredith wins and tries to accept her award, he makes a spectacle of himself in front of the whole audience. Meredith bows out gracefully despite the horrid upstaging. She leaves Jerome to wallow in his pity party.
Her old flame is happy, too, as producer. The film is almost a clean sweep. He tells her he wants to work with her again on a new project.
Meredith gets another surprise. The actor who played Nicholas comes to her and tells her how much he enjoyed her script and her being a major factor in his winning his award and getting much praise for his work. Old Flame knows about this and will be heading up the new project. The actor asks Meredith out to dinner, perhaps to discuss their possibly working together. Meredith is ecstatic. Her career is finally taking off and becoming a major factor in her life. Along with rekindling her romance with her old flame.
SCENE ESSENCE: Meredith’s work is praised. It’s up for an Oscar. It wins, sweeps the Oscars. Meredith and Kyron are happy. They plan on working again in the near future. The actor who played Nicholas in her movie wants her to work on his next film he’s doing.
INTENSIFIED: Meredith can’t wait to get started. She and Kyron are happily together again.
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Lynn Vincentnathan’s Elevated Emotion!
VISION: I am determined to become a great screenwriter capable of getting my screenplays in various genres produced into movies that inspire vast audiences to mitigate climate change.
THE PITCH: WEATHERING IT (Rom-Com) is about two college students who try to overcome family fights about global warming and get married during the worst ever Texas freeze.
I LEARNED that I can make scenes more emotions for the audience by using the prompts here and adding my own of making it funnier (necessary for a RomCom).
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SCENES FOR ELEVATED EMOTION
SCENE 3. EXT. CAMPUS – DAY: Ellie regrets losing her temper and turning off students from eco-concerns in previous scene. Jim consoles her and elicits a couple of smiles. She blushes at the end and Jim gets the signal she’s attracted.
CHANGES (looming betrayal): Just as the audience might be thinking Jim is sincere about Ellie, I’ve added a final several lines: Jim calls Mack, reinforcing his pursuit of Ellie is a bet and he’s a playboy. Then in the first sentence of the next scene Ellie is wearing the flower Jim gave her in her hair. The audience may be worried, if they weren’t earlier, that Jim will dupe her, break her heart, and push her more into her shell.
—————
6. EXT. BEACH – DAY: The environmental clubbers are cleaning up the beach Jim is learning more about Ellie and revealing his playful playboy character and a hint of a problem that could derail his chance with Ellie.
MACK WITH JIM (added new: betrayal, unknown opposition, opposing demands): refers to the bet and Mack warning it would be a trainwreck if Jim gets serious about Ellie.
The audience would again be reminded Jim is in a wager and would worry about that, but also wondering and worried about what Mack meant by trainwreck. Foreshadows opposing demands on Jim — and he may have to let someone down. The audience hopes it’s not Ellie.
JIM WITH JEN (humor at Jim squirming re danger from Ellie’s uncle): Jens tells Jim things about Ellie.
Added: Jen warning against dabbling with Ellie’s heart. Jim mocking Jen (funny for him, but more worry for the audience). Then Jen warning about Ellie’s other uncle — made it look more ominous for Jim. Jim’s worried and the audience (who knows the uncle is a pastor) gets a kick out of him squirming, thinking the uncle may be a cartel guy. But When Jen informs the uncle is their pastor Rev. Rudy, that brings up serious emotions for both Jim and the audience, who is now rooting “don’t dabble with her heart, guy.”
——————
11B. INT. CAFETERIA – DAY: Jim pursues Ellie, asks her to have a non-commitment “situationship” with him. Mack asks Jim about “Mt. Everest summit [won the sex wager] or going vegan?”
ADDED (make it funnier & make it more painful): at the beginning when Ellie and Jim search for a table, two distracted students hard bump into each other, crashing their trays and china. This adds humor and startling sound for the characters and audience. But Ellie freaks out, setting up a later reveal of how she partly blames her mother breaking dishes in anger for pushing her father away, and bringing in a theme of breaking. And giving Jim a chance to be consoling again. It also fits why she hates big, noisy cities.
ADDED (make it more painful): When Ellie asks what Mt. Everest is about and Jim tells they had planned to do some mountain climbing, off the table for now (he’s not going to bed her yet), he then becomes a bit sad when he adds that his father once climbed a mountain. His own words trigger his wound. Then he snaps out of it to talk about “situationships.” Foreshadows his controlling his sad emotions. The audience may now have a tad of sympathy for Jim AND hope he is sincere about Ellie or can become so.
———————–
Checking other scenes to make them more
emotional. -
WIM2 – Dana’s Elevated Emotions!
My Vision: I intend to perfect my skills to become a successful screenwriter, scripting acclaimed and profitable films, recognized by my peers, and living an adventurous life.
What I learned from doing this assignment?
This assignment allowed me to rethink the plot of my story and increase the intensity by adding a treacherous sister that I hadn’t considered. I also increased the intensity and the humor between protagonist and her capture that gave personality to the antagonist.
Never stop working to increase the intensity of the characters and the script.
Scene 1 Essence: Ruth lays in bed listening to her lover dress and leave.
How Intensified: She feels remorse and guilt for her affair while lying in bed
Scene 2: New scene – Ruth joins her sister at a restaurant for dinner
How Intensified: Ruth confesses to her affair affirming her sister’s suspicions.
Scene 3: Held in the smelting pot, Ruth faces her captor for the first time.
How intensified: Ruth’s fear evolves to rage, demanding her release. She uses her husband’s position as a threat, and then uses the excuse of needing a bathroom to get out. The Custodian tosses her a metal bucket to use, followed by a roll of toilet paper, adding humor to the scene.
Scene 4: Husband originally conspired with antagonist.
How Intensified: Husband having affair with sister, and sister hired Custodian.
Scene 5: Negotiating over the money, the Custodian phones the husband and allows Ruth to hear his duplicity.
How Intensified: The Custodian calls the sister and allows Ruth to hear her sister bitch at being called, revealing her duplicity.
Scene 6: New Scene – Henry learns Ruth’s sister hires Custodian.
How Intensified: Ruth’s sister berates Henry for his second thoughts and cowardice, revealing her control over him.
Scene 7: Having thwarted the Custodian, sitting in the back of the ambulance being tended, Ruth confronts Henry revealing she has the Custodian’s cell phone.
How Intensified: Ruth asks about her sister, informing Henry they need to have a talk about the family trust. Ruth is about to get everything.
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Renee’s Elevated Emotion
Vision: I will work hard to become a well-respected writer who has my movies produced and have enough work to keep me busy and keep the lights on.
What I learned from doing this assignment is that it was difficult for me to go through and find areas that needed more emotion. I think that this is something that I automatically do when I’m writing my first draft.
Scene 11 Essence: Claire is being called in to help with a search and rescue mission.
Intensified: her sister is blowing up her phone because her niece is the missing girl.
Scene 41 Essence: the creature strikes.
Intensified: the leader of the mission, Adam’s PTSD is triggered by the gunshots.
I don’t recall the other scenes that I’ve changed for this assignment, as I’ve been doing several assignments simultaneously to try and catch up.
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Marcus’ Elevated Emotion!
My Vision: Get my script made into a movie.
This assignment taught a way to improve emotional impact. It made clear how this could be done. It’s not as easy as it sounds, but at least I have a way forward on this.
Many of my scenes were already quite emotional. Here are a few examples of ones that I elevated:
Scene 2 Essence: Jake, a cavalry officer orders a terrified private into a fierce battle.
How Intensified: Raise the stakes. At the end of the scene, the private is about to die. Jake attempts to save him and fails.
Scene 4 Essence: Jake tries to “buy” the prostitute he’s fallen in love with from her pimp.
How intensified: Humiliation. The prostitute runs away from Jake when he enters the saloon because she doesn’t want him. The other prostitutes laugh at Jake. The pimp chases Jake away with a shotgun.
Scene (I don’t have my scenes numbered) Essence: Carpenter Isaac shows apprentice how to use a saw.
How Intensified: Triggers a wound. Isaac looks at a picture in a locket and becomes sad. Apprentice asks him what’s wrong and Isaac snaps at him.
Scene X Essence: Isaac’s men challenge him to shoot a target they have just shot.
How Intensified: Escalate
the conflict. The men tease him at first, then the criticisms become harsh and
Isaac sees he’s losing their respect. Near-sighted and a poor shot, he gives in
and tries anyway. -
WIM2 Module 7 Lesson 3 – Making Scenes More Emotional
Lisa Long’s Elevated Emotion!
My Vision: I will do whatever it takes to be comfortable saying that I am a writer by creating impactful stories with amazing characters in order to sell my scripts.
What I learned from this assignment is to continue adding and layering the emotion into the story.
Scenes 10, 11, and 12 – Essence: Molly is trying to convince Mars to teach her the Nutcracker dance and help her audition.
Intensified: Added these new scenes to build the rejection and frustration for the protagonist. Included a Reveal in scene 10.
Scenes 15, 16, 17, 18 – Essence: Molly practices the Nutcracker for her audition.
Intensified: Added these scenes as a Montage to show Molly not doing well, but then progressing with the dance.
Scene 20 and 21 – Essence: Molly wants to find out when she’ll see her mom again.
Intensified: Added this scene to show that April is keeping a second secret from Molly that she can’t dance anymore. Molly wants to know if April really loves her.
Scene 27 – Essence: to show that Molly is intent only on dance and doesn’t care about school.
Intensified: Molly is in French class to show something different. She struggles to tell the teacher why she’s on her phone and not paying attention. She’s waiting for news on whether she got the part.
Scene 32 – Essence: to show that Jane and Molly have bonded.
Intensified: Jane cries which she never does, making Molly alarmed.
Scene 40 – Essence: was that Ed died. But I changed it to Jane dying.
Intensified: Molly returns from NYC and the audience expects a fight between Ed and her, but instead Jane has died.
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WIM Joel Stern, Module 7 Lesson 3: Making scenes more emotional.
My Vision: To write eight screenplays that eventually become blockbusters and to get a speaking line in at least one.
What I learned from this assignment: The importance of creating an emotional connection with the audience and using various methods to do so.
Enhanced scenes:
Opening scene: WW2 hero Jim McCarthy arrives home to Las Vegas after War’s end. He’s met at the train station by his wife Jane and their young son Steven — who’s in a wheelchair. Jim’s surprised Jane never told him the boy developed Polio. Jim bites his tongue and proceeds as if it’s nothing.
I added: As Jim wheels his son away with Jane, Jim crumbles something in his hand and drops it — a closeup reveals it’s a family picture during healthier times. The picture, now lying on the platform, is coldly stepped on by another child’s foot.
Another Scene: Back home. Poker night at home with his war buddies. But he’s losing badly. Was easy going pre-war but now his personality has changed.
I enhanced it: He tells his pals how he got the nickname “Ace”. In a flashback taking place before the War Jim gives up a game-losing home run in a big game. He’s devasted when his dad Hugh calls him a born loser. After telling the story Jim’s temper explodes. His friends are shocked and they leave.
Another scene:
Early in the script Jane dies of a brain tumor. Jim’s now a young widower with a disabled young son.
I enhanced it with: Deep sadness turning into shock and betrayal.
Christmas 1949. It’s Jim and Steven’s first without mom. They watch “It’s a Wonderful Life”. Jimmy Stewart and wife Donna Reed are by the Christmas tree. He holds his young daughter while the others sing “Auld Lang Syne”.
Tears roll down Jim’s cheeks. Steven takes dad’s hand. <font face=”inherit”>Donna Reed (Jane looked like her) causes Jim to a war flashback: He’s in a French farmhouse and the bullet ridden bodies of a family. The dead woman looks like Jane. Back to the present. He rushes to the bedroom and searches Jane’s nightstand for a picture of her. He finds one and cries. He drops it…picks it up…and finds the phone number of Ted — his platoon nemesis…. “How could she?”
Many more and I’m catching up!
JS
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Dave’s Elevated emotion
My vision: I would like to be a successful writer in Hollywood, with a number of successful movies to my credit that put forward a core belief about environmental, political, or personal values.
What I learned from this exercise is that it’s always possible to elevate the emotion in a scene.
In a scene, I had the character who is imprisoned in a military state be subjected to torture. Make it more painful: I had her tortured to the point where she narrowly survives the torture, and will certainly succumb to another round of it, inducing greater audience sympathy for her.
The two male characters have to break out of a state where they’re being held. Proving themselves to others: I had Nigel, the character uncomfortable with violence, participate in a fight with a security guard in a crucial way that enables them to escape. Afterwards, his friend, Roger, compliments him on what he did.
The two male characters get involved in a gun battle between hunters and Native Americans. They fight on the Native side, and Nigel is shot in the arm though he doesn’t feel it. His ability to handle the wound, after he discovers it, proves to his friend Roger that he can handle violence to some extent.
The woman, Livia, who’s being held in prison, is offered the chance to walk out of the prison if she’ll give the warden the name of a citizen of the state who’s part of it’s anti-government Rebellion. Dilemma – making choice when both options cause a loss. Livia knows if she gives a name, the state will pick up and execute the person she names. She chooses sacrifice. She refuses to give him a name, thus condemning herself to remain in prison.
When Livia is in prison, I wrote a scene in which the warden sadistically takes Livia to watch an execution of six prisoners. Make it more painful – the scene has a strong emotional impact on Livia, particularly since she knows she is likely to be executed soon.
I wrote a scene in the military state in which Livia’s husband and his friend, Roger, drive around in the military state. Add more hope and/or fear – They see police cars constantly as they drive around. At one point, they see a cop shoot a fleeing suspect by sending a current of electricity through him, killing him. They see how tightly controlled and deadly the state is for anyone who opposes it.
As they try to escape the military state, their plane takes off just as the police arrive. Struggle – The police are ten seconds late, and as the plane heads down the runway, the cops arrive and shoot at it. But it’s going too fast, and their shots don’t disable the plane, which takes off without damage.
Nigel rescues Livia from the prison, and they get to the home of a man who flies them out. When their plane lifts into the air and they know they are free, they are overjoyed. Redemption – Nigel redeems himself by fighting the warden and killing him, exorcising his memory of running from a fight when he was 14. Winning after any of the above – After all the difficulty and danger of their trip overland across the continent, they successfully escape, which had seemed highly unlikely earlier in the trip and during the time they spend in the military state, which is so locked down that defeating it seemed impossible.
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Erin Ziccarelli’s Elevated Emotion!
Vision: I am creating profound scripts that leave audiences remembering my movies and leave me excited to keep writing and moving up in the industry.
What I learned from doing this assignment is: the importance of making scenes more emotional, and a process for brainstorming new emotions. A new type of trigger is emotional prompts which results in a strong reaction.
2. With each of the Emotional Lists above, look at EACH SCENE in your script to see which would benefit from these techniques to make them more emotional.
Strategy A: Intensify an emotion
that is already present in the scene.
Strategy B: Brainstorm other ways to
create emotion in the scene.Scene 1 Essence: Shane needs to know Alex is on board with the family business.
· Multiply impact on others
· Add more hope/fear
· Experiencing distress
Scene 2 Essence: Nathanial and Richard argue over their strategy.
· Negative relationship – trust/betrayal, expectations not met, goals violated
Scene 3 Essence: Kitty and Alex are secretly carrying on.
· Characters experiencing struggle
· Relationships: love received, needs fulfilled
· Opposites: Alex lets Kitty down
Scene 4 Essence: Ted, Richard, and other Brennans spy on Alex, Patrick, Collin, and Darren.
· Escalate conflict
· Raise the stakes
· Experiencing distress
Scene 5 Essence: Kitty and Nathaniel argue over Nathaniel’s methods.
· Relationships: expectations not met
· Raise the stakes
· Characters experiencing distress
Scene 6 Essence: The counterfeit sale goes wrong. Alex gives himself up. Kitty is devastated.
· Puts Kitty in a worse situation
· Escalates conflict
· More painful
Scene 7 Essence: Nathanial Caden’s death.
· Make it more painful
Scene 8 Essence: Will and Demi discuss Nathanial’s will.
· Forced to do something against their values
· Raise the stakes
· Add more hope
Scene 9 Essence: Alex’s transfer to Riverside prison. He’s changed.
· Make it more painful
· Character experiencing distress, disappointments
· Put in a worse situation
Scene 10 Essence: Alex and Ted cross paths again – they haven’t forgotten.
· Escalate conflict
· Character experiencing loss
· Triggers a wound
Scene 11 Essence: Roger arrives in Boston.
· Make it more painful
Scene 12 Essence: Alex beats the crap out of Ted.
· Escalate conflict
· In groups: humiliation
· Raise the stakes
Scene 13 Essence: Roger meets Will and Demi, they all speak to Alex.
· Redemption
· Increase opposition (between Alex and Roger)
· Negative relationships: lack of trust
Scene 14 Essence: Roger takes control of the case.
· Multiply impact on others
· Raise the stakes
· Opposing demands
Scene 15 Essence: Alex learns about his inheritance from Roger.
· Make it more painful
· Triggers a wound
· Forced to do something against their values (for Roger)
Scene 16 Essence: Alex shooting up, he’s lost hope.
· Add more fear
· Character experiencing distress
Scene 17 Essence: Alex watches Ted die and learns of Scarlett’s existence.
· Make it more painful
· Put Alex in a worse situation
· Character values/goals violated
Scene 18 Essence: Alex remembers back to his time with Kitty, accepts the money.
· Character experiencing emotional distress
· Add more fear
· Alex has let somebody down
Scene 19 Essence: Alex’s arrival at Riverside.
Scene 20 Essence: Dr. Anderson questions Alex about his past with Roger watching.
· Put in a “worse” situation
· Experiencing redemption
· Forced to do something against his values
Scene 21 Essence: Dr. Reynolds tries to help Alex see the need for recovery.
· Make it more painful
· Irony: To get better, he must go through this painful phase
· Character experiencing distress
Scene 22 Essence: Alex imagines a meeting with Kitty.
· Relationships: goals violated, expectations not met, trust/betrayal
Scene 23 Essence: Alex breaks down, says he can’t go back.
· Multiply impact on others
· Add more fear
· Character experiencing loss/disappointments
Scene 24 Essence: Alex starting to improve.
Scene 25 Essence: Group therapy with Jack and Shaun and discussion of fate v. destiny.
· Character experiencing disappointments
· Triggers a wound
· Irony: forbidden desire
Scene 26 Essence: Scarlett “saves” Alex when he tries to commit suicide.
· Raise the stakes
· Character experiencing struggle
· Feeling abandoned
Scene 27 Essence: Dr. Anderson and Dr. Reynolds try again to inspire Alex’s hope.
· Irony: Doing everything he can but it’s not working
· Character experiencing struggle
· Loss/disappointments
Scene 28 Essence: Alex presenting his business model to the consultant.
· Triggers a wound
· In group: humiliation
· Dilemma – work alone v. trust these two strangers
Scene 29 Essence: Jack, Shaun, and Alex form a team.
· Multiply impact on others
· In group: mistrust
· Dilemma – work alone v. trust these two strangers
Scene 30 Essence: Alex leaves rehab.
· Puts him in a worse situation – he’s out on his own now
· Character experiencing distress
· Success/proving himself
Scene 31 Essence: Randall Byrne threatens Alex – he’ll kill him if he returns.
· Escalate conflict
· Put in a worse situation
· Values violated
Scene 32 Essence: Roger starts to question Demi about the trust.
Scene 33 Essence: Alex is released from prison under supervision.
Scene 34 Essence: Alex drives past the South End.
Scene 35 Essence: Alex, Jack, and Shaun move the business into the old warehouse.
Scene 36 Essence: Demi informs Alex of the conservatorship.
· Opposites: goes against Alex’s values
· Character experiencing distress
· Expectations not met
Scene 27 Essence: Alex alone in the garage, on his own for the first time.
· Add more hope – Alex feeling optimistic for the first time in a while
· Positive relationships: proving himself
· Needs/values/goal fulfilled
Scene 28 Essence: Alex trying to get Jack and Shaun on board with helping him run the business.
· Jack/Shaun not meeting Alex’s expectations
· Alex forced to do something against his values (find Scarlett)
· Raise the stakes – Alex needs money
Scene 30 Essence: Alex searching for Scarlett in the DMV.
· Add hope
· Character experiencing anticipation
· Irony: Against his values
Scene 31 Essence: Alex sees Scarlett for the first time.
· Make it more painful
· Escalate conflict
· Raise the stakes
Scene 32 Essence: Alex, Jack, and Shaun bid on cars.
Scene 33 Essence: Scarlett’s eating disorder introduced.
Scene 34 Essence: Scarlett’s poker playing skills introduced.
· Add more fear – fear for Scarlett’s future
· Character experiencing disappointments
· Success mixed w/ tragedy
Scene 35 Essence: Roger reveals some of his past when Alex presses him.
· Raise the stakes
· Humiliating Roger, triggers Roger’s wounds
· Opposing demands
Scene 36 Essence: Scarlett is a desperate, lost person.
Scene 37 Essence: Alex seeing an old drunken man as his future self, tempted by his past.
· Increase opposition
· Multiply impact on others
· Character experiencing struggle
Scene 38 Essence: Alex watching Scarlett making a fool of herself.
Scene 39 Essence: Scarlett’s needy attitude in her relationship with Joe.
· Relationships: expectations not met
· Needs violated
· Forbidden desires
Scene 40 Essence: Alex deeply in dept. Needs money, so he goes to talk to Scarlett.
Scene 41 Essence: Alex gets Scarlett’s signature.
· Triggers an old wound (memory of Kitty)
· Alex’s values are violated
· Sacrifice
Scene 42 Essence: Alex forges Scarlett’s signature. Feels like he’s getting somewhere.
· Raise the stakes
· Add more hope
· Doing the wrong thing is the right thing for him
Scene 43 Essence: Roger further investigates Ted and Alex’s connection.
· Triggers an old wound for Roger
· Proving himself and his newfound success
· Doing everything he can to find the truth but it’s not working
Scene 44 Essence: Patrick, Collin, and Darren want Alex back. He’s still bitter.
· Triggers many old wounds
· Alex feeling abandoned
· Opposing demands – they’ve let Alex down
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Andrew Boyd’s Lesson 3, Making scenes more emotional
Vision: For Hitler’s Choirboys to be such a compelling and powerful screenplay that Spielberg and Gibson will battle it out to produce their strongest WW2 drama since Hacksaw Ridge or Schindler’s List.
What I learned from doing this assignment: In Act 1, Page 9, I have amped up the emotion where Henry recalls his boys’ war injuries, wounds for which he feels partly to blame.
Act 2 Page 32, I have strengthened the emotional bond between Henry and Sam, by showing Henry offering forgiveness and affection. This reveals more about their father/son relationship and Henry’s character.
Act 3 Page 87, I have upped the anger and sarcasm Henry shows towards Albert Speer, as Henry shows he has overcome his wounds and can get tough.
Act 3, Page 98, I have upped Goering’s anger and sarcasm towards Henry, throwing back the accusation of only obeying orders.
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