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Lesson 3 Assignments
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Farrin Rosenthal is Cliché Busting!
Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.
What I learned doing this assignment is to find cliché scenes or characters, which are recognizable from other movies, and brainstorm ways to make these scenes and characters unique or different, something we have not seen before.
The main cliché I found takes place early in my script where a van cuts off the protagonist’s car and kidnappers pour out of the van and take hostages.
The cliché is how the van stops the other vehicle. They just cut it off in traffic and force the car to stop. I’ve seen versions of that a million times in movies and TV shows.
My new version has someone open the van door and throw a spike strip in front of the protagonist’s car, which stops the car when all four tires blow out. We’ve seen plenty of scenes where the police deploy a spike strip, but I don’t recall seeing one where the bad guys use this technique.
When you bust a cliché it stands out because we recognize it as being new, different, or unique.
I will search for other clichés in my script and bust those suckers too.
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Rebecca’s Cliche Busting!
What I learned from this assignment is that writing a screen play based on my historical novel inspired by true events and actual people, that truth sometimes can be stranger than fiction.
Pehaps I don’t watch enough movies, but I did not find cliche’s in my script.
Cliche??? A young union organizer, a college student, replaces Ragman’s brother at the rally and struggles to keep things peaceful. The police and company thugs goad the mine families, push against the picket line to break through the line of linked arms. The organizer fights to control his anger when an experienced miner starts to sing a union solidarity song. He is joined by another, and eventually all the picket line and the mine families. The singing helps them remain strong and peaceful despite the abuse.
Closest Cliche: That scene in the musical Les Mierabes just before the battle of the students at the barricade. Gavroche, the man standing at the top of the barricade begins to sing to prepare them for battle and the students and citizens join in.
Non-New Version: I wrote the scene for my book in 2003, nine years before the film of the musical came out in 2012. It takes place in a much later era in a Pennsylvania mining village, the union song written in 1915. I decided not to change it because of it’s importance to the story.
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Jeffrey Alan Chase is Cliché Busting!
My vision: I am an “A” list writer who is known for high concept ideas, great execution, a string of successful movies and is always ready to share his knowledge and do what he can to help another writer on the way up.
I discovered several clichés in my early drafts. Most of these were due to trying to write as fast as I could. I needed to put something down and, in some cases, took the easiest route: insert a cliché that I would elevate in a later draft. I think I’ve cleaned all the little buggers out. 😊
What I learned from doing this assignment is: a draft specifically focused on removing cliches is a great way to elevate my script. Sometimes a cliché inserts itself and gets overlooked because it sounds so natural. The lesson here is to make sure that if it sounds natural, it is. And not just a cliché.
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VISION:
I want to be a great award-winning writer, known for my genre, who creates the most beautiful films that inspire others to feel deeply, pause, and ponder ways to make the world a better place as I make happy money to continue my career.
The Nun and The Witch genre: Mystical Sci-fi
One might say a scene in my 4th ACT near the end is a cliche but for now I want the audience to make the connection. Otherwise, I feel good. I absolutely love grid 3.
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CJ’s Cliché Busting
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes produced highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas.
WIL: Going through this – sometimes I didn’t realize until I went back to it that it was in fact a Cliché – so working through a different way to convey it or change it in a way that is different or fresh.
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
ASSIGNMENT
Give us a list of the changes you made to your script. But don’t post the actual script.
Cliché: dialogue – from “I got this!”
New Version: “follow the money”
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Cliché: How memories are used
New Version: To how they are gathered and fed back to the mind
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Cliché: changed a stereotype character
New Version: A different trait that sets them apart – even though they are double crossing they are loveable
A couple of smaller changes that I believe will make the difference
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Andrew Kelm is Cliché Busting!
Vision: I am going to do whatever it takes to be a great writer of TV and movies who is sought after by people I respect within the industry and has multiple successful TV series produced.
What I learned doing this assignment is… I failed at this one. I can’t find any cliches to bust — and I realize that doesn’t mean they aren’t there… Two things:
- Psychic above a hair salon owned by her mother… I guess it is a little similar to in BETTER CALL SAUL, Saul has a lawyer’s office in a storage room at the back of a nail salon…? But this is used in such a different way and the arrangement is fundamental to the story… And it really doesn’t precipitate any of the same story beats. I don’t know. Is that a cliché?
- Psychic doing readings in her apartment kitchen… Similar to the psychic scene in THE MATRIX…? But a psychic has to do her readings somewhere and very often it is in her home… It is a very different kind of situation, and again it is fundamental to the story.
Anyway, I’ll get another crack at his for the next exercise — cliches are #8 on the list.
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Tom is Cliché Busting!
Doing this assignment, I learned it’s fun to make scenes less generic and more interesting.
Script Changes
Cliché: Plane has engine trouble but pilot is able to land it safely
New Version: Pilot fixes plane engine during the flight
Cliché: People take new medicine and get better overnight.
New Version: Sleepless night people scared new med won’t work. Then it finally is okay.
Cliché: Bear chases man. He feeds bear. It stops chasing him.
New Version: Man hides behind trees, feeds bear food. Finally bear calms down.
Cliché: Pilot crawls out on wing. Fixes engine. Saves plane from crashing.
New Version: Bad storm throws plane around. Pilot fixes engine. Barely survives. Lands safely.
Cliché: At Climax, the Protagonist shoots and kills the Antagonist.
New Version: During Antagonist’s backyard party. 100s of friends. From an airplane Protagonist fires a missile at the Antagonist. He runs from the missile. Dives into his swimming pool. Missile hits him. He explodes into bloody chunks.
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Amechi is Cliché Busting!
What I learned from doing this assignment is clichés are hiding everywhere! Even though I tried to design this story to flip a lot of the usual things you’d normally see, I still ended up with lots of things I needed to change to be fresh.
MY VISION
I am going to be in the top 1% of action/comedy writers in the industry who writes major action films.LIST OF CHANGES
1. Stopping the bad guys before they even begin a robbery.
2. Superhero who is worshipped has become a superhero who is mostly hated for being outside the law.
3. Instead of living in a mansion, he lives and works beneath a homeless shelter/soup kitchen.
4. Instead of meeting for a drink, they meet at a soup kitchen to see and debate the worth of helping people.
5. Doug runs a secret group of vigilantes, not criminals.
6. Kanaan losing a fight to Doug instead of beating him when it seems like it’s time for him to.
7. Instead of Kanaan saving the Mayor, the Mayor uses Kanaan as a distraction to kill the men holding her hostage and then asks him to help save her family.
8. Instead of saving the Mayor’s husband, he dies, turning the Mayor against Kanaan and Apex.
9. Instead of just being a sidekick, Kanaan runs all aspects of Apex’s life. -
Leona Heraty is Cliché Busting!
My Vision: To be the best family comedy screenwriter in the industry where my screenplays are produced into fabulous movies, making audiences laugh a lot and making me independently wealthy!
What I learned from doing this assignment is…I have a lot of clichés in my second draft, but it’s fun to brainstorm new ideas and pick the best one. The more I spot the clichés and brainstorm new versions, the better I become at cliché busting!
Title: Tara vs. the Termo-Lytes
Genre: Comedy (Sci-fi)
Concept #2: A lost teenage tour guide who’s petrified of bugs must lead her tour group in a battle against mutant killer termites at an abandoned country club.Cliché: Tara’s Dad, Kent, is a mild-mannered accountant or sort of a bland character.
New Version: Tara’s Dad owns a cupcake shop. He loves to bake!
Cliché: Tara’s Mom, Joan, is an independently wealthy Mom who dabbles in painting and her flower garden.
New Version: Tara’s Mom, Joan, owns a surfboard shop, and she’s an award-winning surfer and former Olympic gold medalist. She also loves plants and flowers.
Cliché: Max Farber is a jock and football player, who’s only interested in football and sports.
New Version: Max also loves Disneyland and isn’t too tough or macho to wear Mickey Mouse ears everywhere he goes, not just at Disneyland.
Cliché: Clare Faber, Max’s cousin, is boring. She’s only obsessed with make-up and getting into a sorority.
New Version: Clare also wears Minnie Mouse ears everywhere, like her cousin, Max, and she has a beautiful singing voice and plans to study music at Julliard and become an opera singer.
Cliché: Big Betty is mean all the time, as the antagonist.
New Version: She has human traits. She loves to belt out 1970s rock tunes and has a great singing voice. She loves sweets too.
Cliché: Big Betty throws Davy and later, Davy and his
grandmother, Meg, into a large cooking pot to cook them as the main dish for
the Summer Solstice celebration.New Version: Big Betty throws Davy, and later, Davy and Meg, into the large swimming pool that’s filled with a blue glowing goo. There is seaweed at the bottom of the pool lying dormant.
When Big Betty instructs the Teenage Termo-Lyte (Name?) to dump a bucket of Spirulina in the pool, the seaweed comes alive, grows quickly, glows a bright green and at Big Betty’s commend, begins to wrap around Davy and Meg, to choke them, like in Little Shop of Horrors.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by Leona Heraty.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by Leona Heraty.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by
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ASSIGNMENT 6.3
I absolutely love discovering cliches and making the scenes unique.
JACK P IS CLICHÉ BUSTING!
MY VISION: I will do whatever it takes to write a produced script that is recognized by the industry and leads to multiple successful movies.
WHAT I LEARNED: I re-read the entire draft
and didn’t find a clearly identifiable cliché. It may be that I haven’t seen
enough movies, but I have made a concerted effort to watch (or rewatch) as many
films in the relevant genres (romance, spiritual, reincarnation-themed). I’ll
set this aside for now and keep looking. -
John T’s Cliché Busting
Vision: become a reliable box office success and entertain audiences all over the world.
What I learned doing this assignment is that following the 4-step process help identify cliches and tropes that can be deepened/augmented.
Cliché: Phil rotely practices knife tactics
New Version: Phil gets carried away, slices his instructor’s arm.
Cliché: Younger girl dotes on older man, unseemly.
New Version: She asks him outside, starts to undo his pants while he is passed out.
Cliché: Megan murdered
New Version: She was smart enough to leave a clue regarding the killer – someone jealous?
Cliché: Ben ingratiates himself to the SAC
New Version: Ben overdoes groveling, the whole time setting her up.
Cliché: Agent Susan knows all about Ben’s father, the legend.
New Version: Susan knows a lot bout him because she slept with him and holds it over his head.
Cliché: Ben says his father was a boyscout.
New Version: Ned says, that’s not what I heard.
Cliché: Ben is a straight-laced agent, by the book.
New Version: Ben breaks into Phil’s house.
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Sandra’s Cliché Busting
Vision: I am doing what I love to do as a writer with several successful produced movies.
What I learned doing this assignment is that I only found a couple cliches. There are probably more, however this is a good start.
Cliché: The antagonist, Sloane, is packing a suitcase before he goes into a residential treatment program for alcohol and drugs.
New Version: Sloane argues with his wife while he packs a suitcase before entering a residential treatment program.
Cliché: Sloane tries to use the phone in the treatment center office.
New Version: Sloane is caught by his counselor before he makes a call, and is handed the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.
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Linda is Cliché Busting!
Vision: Audiences around the world view and love my meaningful screenplays—one of the most satisfying and energizing accomplishments of my life.
What I learned from doing this assignment is I was aware of avoiding clichés and worked on this before coming to the lesson. At this point, didn’t have much to rewrite. May find more later.
List of Changes
Cliché: Cop talking to Prostitute who’s asking him not to arrest her.
New Version: Prostitute warning rookie cop about being too good at his job and describing his smooth style. Drug dealer is out to get him.
Cliché: PTSD dream
New Version: Husband (ex-cop) and wife have ritual for bringing him out of a PTSD dream without getting hurt.
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KRISTIN is Cliché Busting!
VISION: “I want the personal, professional, and financial freedom and joy that come from writing so well that I’m in demand, selling beyond my wildest dreams, and making worthy projects—on a big scale and with my active, collegial participation.”
WHAT I LEARNED: This one was hard, and it came when I was rethinking my entire story (thanks to the Manager / Career Launch class)… so I had to revise my beat sheets and catch up the concept first. After that, realizing where the clichés were was really helpful. They are easy to overlook, and it was a challenge to figure out the problem they were masking. A very good exercise and I think I’ll have to do it again at some point.
Cliché: PROTAGONIST’S SOCIAL INHIBITIONS. In several scenes, Protagonist is a bit awkward, and his kid “translates” for him in social situations.
New Version: The focus in these moments is on the kid. No one expects the dad to be different, and the universe simply works around him. As the kid just keeps doing his thing, he becomes an expert in his own right. Yes, he still defers to his dad, but he’s actively taking part, both socially and scientifically; he’s becoming a real teammate. At the same time, the dad still gets to be “whole.” He still effectively parents, effectively lives his life, so he’s not seen as disabled or something like that. He’s just different. And… this provides the basis for “old ways,” because it’s a clear place to make change.
Cliché: “FINN” THE SCANDINAVIAN. I realized I was not being very creative in my “immigrant dude” depiction. Just by asking the cliché question, I realized how I was riding coattails. It’s surely “been done” that Scandinavian immigrants talk and carry themselves in a way that can be funny. Fargo gave us the harsh perspective on that, while A Prairie Home Companion (while not a film) explained it all from the humorous side. A similar situation in a different culture was depicted in Snatch, where Brad Pitt played an “Irish Traveler” who speaks Shelta, also known as Cant, an old Irish dialect. In that case, no one could understand him.
New Version: Here, a heavily accented Finnish person is based on an exaggeration of a real family in the story. To make things unique, however, now the Protagonist (who’s also of immigrant descent, although from Swedish parents), feels very comfortable with Finn. The two of them lapse into a comfortable rhythm—but the Finnish character is not comfortable with anyone else.
Cliché: “WAR ROOMS” in legal cases. I was just using them as a place to share details (exposition, I guess)—because legal details are boring.
New Version: Considering introducing in a walk-and-talk here, which will illustrate the differences in approach between the two camps. Now it’s about humans, and we also pick up the content of the dialog. When we go back into them in later scenes, we easily pick up just the facts or dynamics we need.
Cliché: COURT ROOMS. It’s been my biggest problem. Not only cliché, but also just unwieldy. Plus, there was a big problem: Trial of the Chicago 7. That judge was even more insane, unprofessional, and biased than this horrible judge—and even though they were both “real,” I can’t risk looking like a copycat.
New Version: To make it different, and funnier, I’ve incorporated the antics of the goofy US Attorney and other lawyers, including their awkward use of the “ELMO” machine and other exhibits. I’ve also changed the gender of the judge and made her more in line with one of the overriding metaphors (The Queen of Hearts) in Alice in Wonderland.
Cliché: BIG, SCARY GUY IN PRISON EVENTUALLY BECOMES A TEDDY BEAR
New Version: This, too, was real. However, instead of someone’s “standing up” to tough guys and then gaining respect, I’ve enhanced the Protagonist’s obliviousness. He simply keeps “doing his thing,” which disarms and entertains the other inmates. Eventually, they learn he really is what he seems to be.
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Lori is Cliché Busting!
Vision: I want to be a professional screenwriter recognized by the industry as the go-to for family-friendly scripts and have multiple successful movies produced.
What I learned is to look purposely for cliched scenes and then brainstorm fresh possibilities.
Cliché: Claire struggles in a man’s world when returning to work.
New Version: Claire struggles with her age against a more tech-savvy generation.
Cliché: Alex pours too much soap in the washing machine.
New Version: Alex throws away socks she can’t find a match for. Alex shrinks Hannah’s favorite sweater and then lies about it. Later she wears it in public and embarrasses the kids.
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Jane’s Cliché’ Busting!
MY VISION: I will make my living as a screenwriter by selling my own narrative scripts and successfully fulfilling writing assignments.
By doing this assignment I was forced to think long and hard about cliché’s because my story is a parody. As I went through the script scene by scene, there are some scenes that seem familiar but have an unexpected twist. The characters are also people that we think we know, but they turn out to be quite different than what we’re used to. The ones that aren’t different tend to be the secondary characters, particularly Jeremy and Clara. I tried to rethink them and figure out how they can twist the scene without taking away from the main characters. Not sure how successful I was.
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