Lesson 4

[Paul Hallasy]

ASSIGNMENT_Lesson 4
Subject Line: Paul Hallasy’s 10 Most Interesting Things
1. Go through your project and see which of these specific hooks you have:
• A. What is most unique about your villain and hero? My hero is a gay, 62-year-old stand-up comedian. My villain is a 62-year-old homophobe who lives in the same building as my hero and has been harassing him for 37 years!
• B. Major hook of your opening scene? Paul loses his temp job shortly after buying tickets to the Cruel World festival.
• C. Any turning points? After finally making it to the Cruel World festival (and getting a job), Paul leaves New York in the middle of his stand-up set and flies to Los Angeles.
• D. Emotional dilemma? Will Paul make it to concert in spite of losing his job and landing in the hospital, New York vs. LA, trying to find a job when the job-hunting process is riddled with bullshit
• E. Major twists? See C
• F. Reversals? See C
• G. Character betrayals? Ivan sort of “betrays” Paul by saying he can’t help him any more with his job search.
• H. Or any big surprises? See C. Also, Iggy Pop turns up in several scenes, Paul plays with The Cure onstage at Madison Square Garden, Paul imagines living in a scene from the movie “10,” only Bo Derek and the women at a party are replaced by men, Paul imagines ordering a helicopter to LA from the roof of the building where he’s interviewing for a job. (These are dream sequences.)
2. Make a list of any other things in your script that could interest a producer. The Cruel World festival this script is based on has a built-in audience of 70,000 people. Also, if there were a soundtrack album, it would be similar to two of the biggest-selling albums of all time.
3. Organize both and select the 10 most interesting things. Post those to the forums.
4. Answer the question “What I learned doing this assignment is…?” and post it at the top of your work.

[John Purvis]

Yeah, I know I said I wasn’t going to post… necessarily. Partial answer: What I learned. Having pulled out the elements of my script that I thought were most interesting, or hooks, I will probably have to do another script rewrite to maybe point up those elements a little more, to make sure they really are as “hookish” as I know they can be.

[Carly-Ann Giene]

Carly's 10 Most Interesting Things

What I learned doing this assignment is that the most interesting elements here are more interesting than my current logline. Back to the drawing board!

1. What is most unique about your villain and hero? The hero becomes the villain. A female anti-hero via demonic possession.

2. Major hook of your opening scene? Takes place cleaning up blood from a crime scene.

3. Any turning points? After cleaning filth from the dead hoarder's house the next day everything appears back in the house. They have a choice to stay and continue this battle or leave. They choose to stay.

4. Emotional dilemma? Does Aaron choose to save/forgive his wife or kill her and escape?

5. Major twists? Lilith gets possessed.

6. Reversals? Supporting character thinks Aaron is the villain and murders him right after he's finally escaped.

7. Character betrayals? Aaron discovers his wife Lilith actually killed their son.

8. Or any big surprises? The house they're cleaning is an infernal prison.

9. Setting – gentrifying a forgotten neighborhood in Detroit.

10. Feels like a redemption story but in the eleventh hour –the bad guys/ demons win.

• This reply was modified 10 months, 3 weeks ago by  Carly-Ann Giene.

[Adite Banerjie]

Adite's 10 Most Interesting Things

What I learned: by pulling out the most interesting bits, I could actually see how they can be further improved.

A. What is most unique about your villain and hero?

Protagonist – A young mother suffering from post-partum depression who had as a child learnt the dark arts from her Tantric mother.

Villain 1 – Yogini (a supernatural being) A shape shifter who can adopt the form of any living/dead being. Reversal – she is a protector and guardian rather than a predator.

Villain 2 – Dr. Rana – who hides behind the façade of a healer but is the real predator who has links with poachers.

Major hook of opening scene:

A child watches her mother perform a Tantric ritual.

Turning points:

Arrival at the decrepit house set in a beautiful location. Only to discover that the house is set on a Yogini’s grounds. The Old woman’s warning before she turns into a boar. Bloody chicken heads on the veranda, tantric symbols in the sink hole.

Devyani’s nightmare causes her to nearly throttle her own baby.

Shambhu’s death (pinned to a tree by his own arrows) causes the villagers to stop supporting Jeet’s anti-poacher campaign.

On new moon’s night Yogini reveals herself in her full shapeshifting goddess/boar form. This leads Devyani to figure out what the Yogini wants.

Emotional dilemma?
For Devyani – Tantric rituals killed her mother and it could now kill her child. But what if it’s the only thing that can save her child?

Major Twists

The Yogini turns into a protector.

Character betrayals

Dr. Rana is the one who has been helping the poachers.

Any big surprises?

Yogini shape-shifts into Devyani’s deceased mother and helps Devyani to find closure.

• This reply was modified 10 months, 3 weeks ago by  Adite Banerjie.

[Susan A. Smith]

Susan Arnout Smith’s 10 Most Interesting Things.
What I learned doing this assignment is: This exercise is part of my sharpening points of interest and how to express these clearly and succinctly. I’ll be working at editing and reframing, adding and subtracting and I go forward.
Assignment:
A. What is most unique about your villain and hero?
Villain: A principal who hates kids and sabotages her school to fail.
Hero: Talks to an Angel, yet doubts God’s got the chops to get the job done.
B. Major hook of your opening scene?
A young girl vanishes into a stranger’s car
C. Any turning points?
School will go under without a miracle; Shelly steps up.
Shelly’s big dream crashes against the rocks of other’s disbelief.
Shelly gives up.
Shelly comes back.
D. Emotional dilemma?
Either Shelly saves the school, or saves her family.
E. Major twists?
The ‘slow problem kid’ is actually bright and being used as a cash crop by adults.
Shelly’s ‘choice’ impacts Heaven
F. Reversals?
Revealed as ‘smart’, a kid’s life gets worse, not better.
Afraid of failing, Shelly sets up failure by quitting.
G. Character betrayals?
Shelly betrays the community.
Shelly betrays a promise made to her family.
Principal lies to Diocese and claims Shelly’s work as hers.
H. Or any big surprises?
Reveal: Girl not killed by stranger; drowns searching for Shelly.
God and the Angel bet on whether Shelly will choose Good or Evil.

[Gill Kent]

Gill Kent: 10 Most Interesting Things

What I learned doing this assignment is that there’s a lot more plot in a limited series than can be squeezed into a short pitch, so I need to pull out the absolutely most compelling points

A. What is most unique about your villain and hero?
Alice is a princess who believes that her royal duty is to the poorest of her realm.
Alice stares down her Gestapo son-in-law to protect the Jewish family hiding in her home.
After dedicating his life to serving his country in the military, Andrea is scapegoated for a military disaster and about to be executed when Alice appeals to her cousin, the British king, to help the family escape.
Andrea betrays the wife who saved his life.

B. Major hook of your opening scene?
The nun leading a procession during the coronation of Queen Elizabeth turns out to be the queen’s mother-in-law.

C. Any turning points?
Princess Alice is violently kidnapped into a mental institution.
After several years in self-imposed exile, Alice renews contact with her family when five relatives, including her daughter, are killed in an air crash.
Rather than remaining with her family in England or Germany, Alice returns to Greece to fulfil her duty as a Greek princess.

D. Emotional dilemma?
Either Alice can turn her back and ignore the plea for help or she can take the Jewish family into her home and risk her life hiding them from the Nazi occupiers.

E. Major twists?
Without warning, Alice is drugged and driven across the border to a Swiss sanatorium.
Phillip, Alice’s son, scorned by the royal family for his homeless status, nomadic lifestyle, and hand-me-down clothes, marries the future queen of England.

F. Reversals?
Alice grows up in the luxurious lap of the British royal family but gives away all her riches, selling her jewels to fund orphanages and soup kitchens, and dies owning nothing but three dressing gowns.

G. Character betrayals?
When Princess Alice has a mental breakdown, her mother and husband conspire to have her kidnapped and locked up in a mental hospital to avoid embarrassing the royal family.
After locking Alice away, Andrea marries off their four young daughters, sends their eight-year-old son to relatives, and settles down with his movie-starlet mistress.

H. Or any big surprises?
Alice renews contact with her family after years apart, but decides to return to Greece rather than stay with them.

[Brian Bull]

BRIAN BULL – 10 Most Interesting Things

What I learned today is…I still had some breakthroughs regarding my script which I need to include to make it that much more interesting to Producers.

ASSIGNMENT

1. Go through your project and see which of these specific hooks you have:

A. What is most unique about your villain and hero?

My villain is a catfish that lurks beneath the surface and is never seen until the end when it is revealed he is the size of a station wagon and he engulfs the fisherman in two gulps.

My hero is a fisherman who’s determined to catch and kill the fish that he blames for his brother’s death but ultimately catches more than he bargained for.

B. Major hook of your opening scene?

The Major Hook of my opening Scene is the location – The Louisiana Bayou at night – with a fisherman loading his boat with fishing equipment, stating why people fish…and finally, he says, “I used to fish for fun…I don’t fish for fun anymore.”

C. Any turning points?

The Turning Point in the story is when John changes the bait to the Rotisserie Chicken he got from the Mukatolou Trading Post – the same chicken he had used 25 years earlier when his brother disappeared in the bayou when John caught the catfish.

D. Emotional dilemma?

John, the fisherman, is emotionally struggling with the loss of his younger brother, Jim, to the point that nothing else matters, but when he is confronted by the imaginary Older Jim he is faced with carrying out vengeance or passing along the traditions of fishing to his son.

E. Major twists?

The Major Twist in the story is the ending when John, the fisherman, realizes he’s THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY!

F. Reversals?
N/A

G. Character betrayals?
N/A

H. Or any big surprises?

The BIG SURPRISE is the ending with the irony that it is JOHN, the fisherman, who got away for 25 years from the catfish.

2. Make a list of any other things in your script that could interest a producer.

The location takes place deep in the LOUISIANA BAYOUS. Outside the boat danger is all around, however, inside the boat there is calm and safety; it’s the polarity of the two which creates interest.

This is a script all about fishing, including learning how to fish from dad, fishing with family, fishing jokes, catching worms, the thrill of catching a fish, the solitude if fishing, the obsession of fishing, and more which will appeal to the 50 MILLION FISHERMAN in the US alone.

Mukatolou, the Great Indian chief that fed a village but didn’t teach any of the braves to fish, then disappeared, and the tribe parished.

The relationship of two brother’s that continues even after one disappears.

• This reply was modified 10 months, 3 weeks ago by  Brian Bull.

[Susan A. Smith]

Brian, this sounds like fun. Great twist. Good work.

[Brian Bull]

Thank you Susan! I appreciate it.

[Edward Richards]

Edward Richards – 10 Most Interesting Things

What I learned today is to deep-mine my script for things that would most interest a producer.

THE ROMCOM CHARACTERS
Isabel is both Antoinette (French) and Isabel (American) – one and the same person.

Wyatt invents a unique approach to dating – six weeks and he wriggles out.

OPENING SCENE MAJOR HOOK
Wyatt gets cornered in a supermarket queue by his disgruntled ex, who broadcasts to everyone the problems she had with him.

TURNING POINTS
Wyatt decides to end all future relationships at the end of the honeymoon period (six weeks).

Out of the blue, Wyatt gets dumped by Antoinette, who disappears without a trace, devastating him.

Antoinette turns out to be Isabel, an American actress hired to give Wyatt a taste of his own medicine.

An auction to help save Antoinette’s theatre provides Wyatt with a means of proving
his love for Antoinette/Isabel.

CHARACTER BETRAYALS
Wyatt thinks he’s fallen for a French woman, but she turns out to be an actress, hired to play the role.

EMOTIONAL DILEMMA
Wyatt either faces the risk of more disastrous dates, or celibacy. Or a radical new approach.

MEMORABLE SCENES
When Wyatt tries to break with Antoinette, she pulls out a gun and shoots him – with water.