Lesson 4

[Marcus Wolf]

Marcus loves Covering Subtext!

My Vision: Get my script made into a movie.

This assignment taught me a lot about subtext, a critical aspect of great writing.

I went through the entire script with this in mind and elevated the dialog with it in a number of places.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE EIGHT LESSON FOUR

FRAN LOVES COVERING SUBTEXT

WHAT I LEARNED: This pretty much speaks to the main character and the change he/she must go through to reach the conclusion of his/her story. It gives us pause to really think about our protagonist and how he/she will ultimately handle the situation.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

In the last lessons it appears I was already doing lessons four and five for this class and script. What’s really been fun is writing for my Charles character in my steamboat script and the subtext I’ve been giving him.

In the one scene I used action congruent to his words and his normal character and actions I set up for him at the beginning of the story.

And then I used a questioning. Charles asks Frances a question alluding to the real question he wanted to ask her, but doesn’t.

Finally, I combined silence with a change of subject for him in the final part of the scene.

It really worked well because the scene set up the next time Charles needs to become braver and actually take a lead role in saving the race for the Captain of the Robert E. Lee.

As for Winter’s Love Lost, the script I’m working on for this class:

Olga uses Questioning with Dmitri number two. And then Attacks Back. It speaks to her character in real life.

As for Meredith and Jerome, Jerome uses Misdirection to hide his affair and financial problems from Meredith.

[Lisa Paris Long]

WIM2 Module 8 Lesson 4 – Subtext Dialogue Part 1

Lisa Long Loves Covering Subtext!

My Vision: I will do whatever it takes to be comfortable saying that I am a writer by creating impactful stories with amazing characters in order to sell my scripts.

What I learned from this assignment is to build subtext anywhere I can for it adds deeper meaning to the script.

Working through each scene, I asked the questions and added a line here and there. I worked mostly on scene 24 where I felt more subtext was needed to explain one of the characters.

[Monica Arisman]

Subject: Monica’s loves Covering Sub-text

Vision: I will continue to learn everything I can through all different media to apply what I learn to become the best screenwriter I can be. To be successful in getting my movies made and to win awards in the process.

What I learned from doing this assignment is different methods of sub-text. I don’t think I knew this which made “getting” sub-text a long process for me. This is much easier with the labels.

Your goal: Build subtext dialogue into any scenes that you can.

Silence: Person doesn’t
answer when they should. Scene 44 – Jay remains silent as Lieutenant
Charlie is outraged that he has to do manual work when Jay could just move
the supplies with his mind.

Action incongruent with
words. Scene 39 – in the café, Jay wonders out loud if the civilization is
worth saving – insert he says he wants to go home and leave the fate of
the world to destiny.

Change subject. Scene 37
– Jay shows Conall his story in case Jay cannot bring Conall’s family back
by manipulating the timeline (sub-text – he’s not alone in losing the ones
he loved).

Question them. Scene 34 –
Harry questions his so called friends about stealing the artefact.

Attack back. Scene 33 –
Harry wants Jay to stop the event so he can dominate the world. Jay
retorts, why should I stop it? (meaning no one wants Harry in charge of
the world).

Complement them. Insert
this at the first meeting of Harry and Conall when Harry is boasting about
what a great philanthropist he is.

Misdirection: Do or say
something that sends their mind in a different direction. Scene 41 – is a
misdirection – Harry steals what he thinks is the artefact and quantum
computer from the security office. (But the real one is in the saucer.)

Make a joke of it. Scene
33 – Harry says there has to be a different answer than the one the
artefact gave him. But Conall says it’s the only answer and makes a joke
about not getting what we think we want.

[David Holloway]

Dave loves covering subtext

My vision: I would like to be a successful writer in Hollywood, with a number of successful movies to my credit that put forward a core belief about environmental, political, or personal values.

What I learned doing this assignment is that subtext adds real depth to a scene and covering it with a line can do so as well.

[Erin Ziccarelli]

Erin Ziccarelli loves Covering Subtext

Vision: I am creating profound scripts that leave audiences remembering my movies and leave me excited to keep writing and moving up in the industry.

What I learned from doing this assignment is: the difference between surface level and deeper meaning, and different methods to add subtext. It’s important to stay “in character” by picking the right method for subtext.

4. Continue through the entire script, adding subtext cover-ups to any scenes you can.

Roger, Demi, and Judge Wilson try to unravel the liquidation mysteries

· Subtext dialogue: Demi’s silence (she’s not interested in “solving the mystery”), change the subject (inviting Judge Wilson over), questions Roger,

· Anticipatory dialogue: Demi’s prediction that Roger’s past will keep following if he keeps overstepping, countdown (Roger knows something’s coming up), Demi implies consequences from Roger’s prying, Judge Wilson trying to “shield” Roger from what could be a big arrest, Demi’s warnings to Roger, challenge issued for Roger to find out who killed Kitty.

Alex and Scarlett’s first conversation at the DMV

· Subtext dialogue: misdirection (Scarlett describing the long line), Alex’s silence, Alex changes the subject form location to his “business”

· Anticipatory dialogue: Scarlett’s strange silence as Alex talks about his “business,” indirect prediction (Scarlett says that nothing good happens in Lawrence),

Scarlett and Joe plan for the next sale

· Subtext dialogue: action incongruent with words (Scarlett and Joe are “lovers” but their relationship is purely transactional), change subject (Joe changes the subject from money to the sale), question each other about Scarlett’s influence, she and Joe “attack” each other about their reputations/families, Joe tries to make a joke of it.

· Anticipatory dialogue: indirect prediction (Scarlett overestimates her influence), countdown (they only have a few months to print three million), implied consequences of Richard’s “undivided and unchecked hate,” shield from consequences in advance (shielding her from Richard implies danger), implied hopelessness (Scarlett says they’ll never be out from under Richard), warnings (Joe warns Scarlett of questioning Richard), creating a reputation for Richard, Scarlett confronts her future of fear, challenged issued for Scarlett to “overthrow” Richard, silence when Joe starts to overtake her.

Alex learns of the will’s conservatorship condition

· Subtext dialogue: silence (Alex won’t let Roger see the will), Alex changes the subject as soon as Roger walks out, Alex misdirects Roger’s questions.

· Anticipatory dialogue: indirect prediction (Roger wants to know more, implying that he’ll find out), countdown (Alex “counting down” how many bills he has), imply hopelessness (Alex won’t see the inheritance money anytime soon), challenge issued (Alex to become financially self-sufficient), silence when Roger tries to look at the will and find out the conservatee.

Biofeedback session w/ Dr. Reynolds

· Subtext dialogue: Alex changes the subject from the treatment plan to talking about his old Peugeot, questions Dr. Reynolds

· Anticipatory dialogue: Dr. Reynolds direct prediction of him “losing,” countdown to Alex’s seizure, Dr. Reynold’s warnings, challenge issued for Alex to stop gambling with his future.

Roger reveals Alex’s inheritance

· Subtext dialogue: Alex’s silence when Roger mentions Nathanial’s lack of surviving family, Alex’s changes the subject to ask who else knows, he attacks Roger about knowing about the will, Roger questions Alex about his life.

· Anticipatory dialogue: Roger’s direct prediction over how Alex’s life will be if he doesn’t change, Alex’s indirect prediction about his future, Roger implies consequences over not following Nathanial’s “advice,” Alex is in denial about his life and Roger tries to call it out, Alex warns Roger about others finding out the truth.

Alex meets Demi, Roger, and Will

· Subtext dialogue: Roger doesn’t answer many of Will and Demi’s questions (silence), action incongruent with words (Will and Demi are unimpressed by Roger but act like they respect him), Roger changes the subject (not wanting to talk about his time in Boston), Roger questions them back about the will, Roger’s misdirection on the will.

· Anticipatory dialogue: challenge issued (Roger and Alex are going to have to talk eventually), Alex’s silence at strange times, implied hopelessness about Alex’s unfailing loyalties.

Will and Demi puzzled about Nathaniel Caden’s will

· Subtext dialogue: action incongruent with words (Demi and Will should be excited about handling the will, but instead they’re not), Demi questions Will about the will, they both try to make a joke of it.

· Anticipatory dialogue: Will’s comment that Demi would rather they “kill themselves,” foreshadowing Richard’s death, indirect prediction that they’ll “come together,” Will tries to shield Demi from the truth about Alex’s whereabouts, challenge issued to get the money to Alex, Will and Demi’s silence over reading the will.

Kitty and Richard argue over the Dunbar Sale

· Subtext dialogue: Kitty’s silence when Nathanial thanks her for her loyalty, action incongruent with words – she accepts his thanks but is visibly displeased, changes the subject from the coin to Dunbar, questions Nathanial back.

· Anticipatory dialogue: Richard’s direct prediction that she is the future, countdown to the end of the sale, Kitty implies hopelessness for the future, her warning to Nathanial, establishing Richard’s reputation, challenge issued for Kitty to become the future of the North End, Nathaniel in denial about Richard’s motives.

Alex and Kitty’s love story introduced

· Subtext dialogue: Alex and Kitty question each other back, Kitty “attacks” him back,

· Anticipatory dialogue: Alex predicts that the South End will control the black market, Kitty and Alex counting down to Dunbar sale, Kitty implies consequences from their night together, Kitty warns Alex of “fallout” from their time together, challenges issued by exposing these characters weak points

Richard and Nathanial’s confrontation

· Subtext dialogue: action incongruent with words (Nathanial and Richard are “allies” and yet he pulls a gun on Richard), he attacks Richard back.

· Anticipatory dialogue: Richard says Nathanial is weak, Richard implies the Cadens are “in bed with them,” they’re counting down until Dunbar, Richard implies consequences if they lose the sale, Nathanial implies future conflict by saying that he made Richard who he is, he lays out their “mission statement” (creates a reputation), Kitty listening in on them is a challenge/threat.

Opening poker scene

· Subtext dialogue: Alex’s silence as Shane says they should end every rival of theirs, Alex speaks well of Shane and then leaves to be with Kitty, questioning Saoirse (“Could they really be so different from us?”), Saoirse attacking him back, Shane complementing Alex

· Anticipatory dialogue: direct prediction, countdown, imply consequences (over what happened to Alex and Saoirse’s parents), warnings, Shane’s villain reputation, Alex “confronts” Saoirse and Shane, awkward silence as Alex chugs the drink.

[Dana Abbott]

WIM2 Module 8 Lesson 4 – Subtext Dialogue Part 1

WIM2 – Dana Loves Covering Subtext

My Vision: I intend to perfect my skills to become a successful screenwriter, scripting acclaimed and profitable films, recognized by my peers, and living an adventurous life.

What I learned from doing this assignment?

Subtext is the most important part of my script. I realized I needed to insert more subtext into my story, given the supporting characters have plotted with the antagonist to kidnap of my protagonists.

My antagonist never speaks to the antagonist (never speaking is part of his disguise and adds to the horror of the kidnapping), creating the need for subtext by his silence. The protagonist figures the plot against her by subtext.

The supporting characters, primarily the sister, speaks in subtext most of the script to hide her true intentions of taking over my protagonist’s life.

With each rewrite, I always look for ways to incorporate more subtext.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by  Dana Abbott.

[JOEL STERN]

WIM: Subject: Joel Stern loves Covering Subtext!

My Vision: To write eight screenplays that eventually become Hollywood blockbusters (and to get a speaking line in at least one).

What I learned from this assignment: The importance of adding subtext to each scene.

My Script: “Death Voice” Genre: Thriller.

I’m in the process of searching each scene for instances where I can add subtext.

I’m posting two from the same scene. In one instance I have Jim changing the subject when chided about his lousy aim in Normandy. The other subtext addition I made was leaving out a line by Jim telling his wife he’ll be okay replacing it with him giving her an empty smile…

Background:

Decorated WWII hero Jim “Ace” McCarthy has returned to his Las Vegas home hoping to reacclimate himself with civilian life. But things begin to unravel as soon as he steps off the troop train. He’s met by his wife and young son only to see the boy in a wheelchair, crippled with Polio — something Jane never told him about.

It’s poker night for Jim and his war buddies. Lots of good natured ribbing. But things get ugly when one of Jim’s pals asks him how he got the nickname, “Ace”.

INT. JIM’S LIVING ROOM – EVENING

A smokey haze wafts over the card table. Jim and his Army buddies play poker. Jim’s pissed, downs a shot.

BENJI, (27) deals, puffs on his pipe. Jim waves smoke away.

JIM

Had an old lady come in today who smoked a pipe.

BENJI

(scoffs)

Probably knew more about cars than you!

Scruffy “SAPPER”, (27) the clown of the group pipes in.

SAPPER

Yeah, what’s up with that Benji? A chimp smokin’ one would look more intelligent!

Laughs. Benji chuckles.

BENJI

Ace — you’ve been at the dealership for what, two months?

JIM

Sounds about right.

SAPPER

(scoffs)

DeSoto’s. I wouldn’t let Hitler drive that piece ‘a shit.

More laughs.

SAPPER

I’ll bet you haven’t sold one of ‘em. Am I right or wrong?

Jane approaches with a tray of sandwiches.

LOU, (26) is the most refined.

LOU

Thanks, you’re an angel, sweetheart.

Sapper peeks under the bread. Bologna.

SAPPER

Before the war I wouldn’t feed this to my dog. But now — woof-woof!

Wild laughs.

JANE

Kennel Ration’s for dessert.

LOU

Ouch! Ace, you’re one lucky Joe to be married to such a wonderful gal.

Jane sets down the tray.

JANE

Lou, I keep telling him that!

Chuckles. She coughs. No ordinary cough.

LOU

Jane, are you okay?

JANE

Oh, it’s just desert allergies. Can I get you boys anything else?

JIM

No, honey. We’re fine. Thanks.

She smiles and leaves.

BENJI

What a doll. Hey, Jimbo — how’d you get that nickname “Ace”?

Sapper jumps in.

SAPPER

It sure wasn’t for his shooting in Normandy. Remember the Kraut in the tree?

The guys all nod — except Jim.

SAPPER

Took him two clips — and the fucker’s drinkin’ beer in Munich as we speak!

Loud belly laughs.

JIM

I hear those new lawn mowers practically cut the grass themselves. How do ‘ya like yours Sapper?

SAPPER

Huh?

JIM

Yeah, okay. Well at least I’m damn good with a grenade.

The guys look at each other: Not that church story again.

His framed Distinguished Service Cross MEDAL hangs on a wall next to an autographed PICTURE of Edward R. Murrow.

Jim puts his cards face down.

JIM

If you have to know, I got the name when I played ball at the plant…

JIM’S FLASHBACK:

SUPER: “McCLANCY FIELD, 1940”

The stands are packed with blue collar families.

The SCOREBOARD: Bolts 3 Gunslingers 2. 9th Inning. 2 Outs.

Lanky Jim, (19) pitches. Bases loaded. The front of his sweat-soaked jersey: “Johnson’s Nuts and Bolts”.

His beer-bellied dad HUGH, (45) grips the fence urging Jim on. CHARLIE, (42) needles Hugh.

CHARLIE

Sorry Hugh, but your kid don’t have it. C’mon Chuck — big hit!

HUGH

One more strike, Jim!

Jim looks in for the catcher’s sign. He drops his head struggling to breathe. The CATCHER, (20) calls for time.

The ump waves his hands stopping play. The catcher approaches wheezing Jim.

CATCHER

You okay?

JIM

Must’ve swallowed a fly.

CATCHER

Smitty’s warmin’ up if you —

JIM

Get back there, will ‘ya?

CATCHER

Okay. This guy can’t touch a curve.

He goes back to home plate.

CATCHER

Let’s go Jimbo. You ‘n me.

Jim winds up the old fashioned way… CRACK! Chuck drives the ball over the fence. Season over. Wild CHEERS!

Charlie’s mobbed at home plate.

Hugh drops onto the wooden bench.

Jim comes over, sad, but life goes on. Hugh takes a swig from his brown paper bag.

JIM

Sorry, dad.

Jim’s distracted by a formation of BOMBERS droning above.

JIM

‘Guess there’s always next season.

HUGH

Yeah.

He rests his hand on Jim’s shoulder.

HUGH

Well, you sure no ace.

Jim nods.

HUGH

Just a born loser.

RETURN TO SCENE:

JIM’S LIVINGROOM – EVENING

LOU

Jeez buddy, if he was my old man I’d… well, I’m glad you were able to get past it.

Jim kicks over the table sending bologna sandwiches and cards flying. He storms out.

SAPPER

Spoke too soon, Lou.

EXT. FRONT PORCH – CONTINUOUS

Jim smokes, disgusted with himself.

INT. LIVING ROOM – CONTINUOUS

Jane rushes in.

JANE

Oh, leave it boys. Where’s Jim?

The guys clean up the mess.

SAPPER

Went out for a smoke. Story about his old man set him off.

JANE

Hmm. That’ll do it, all right.

Jim returns.

JIM

Sorry for acting like a chump.

Awkward silence. Benji checks his watch.

BENJI

Say, I don’t know about you folks but it’s way past my bedtime.

JIM

C’mon, one more hand guys — I’m okay — I swear!

SAPPER

Good night folks.

They leave.

Jane wraps her arms around Jim’s waist. He rests his head on her shoulder.

O.S.: Starting engines.

JANE

What’s wrong honey?

His eyes are shut tight.

JIM FLASHBACK:

The nuns are killed.

RETURN TO SCENE:

INT. LIVING ROOM – CONTINUOUS

With an empty smile, Jim caresses her arms but doesn’t answer.

JANE

(frustrated)

Your son wants to say goodnight.

[Andrew Boyd]

Andrew Boyd loves covering subtext!

Vision: For Hitler’s Choirboys to be such a compelling screenplay that Spielberg and Gibson will battle it out to produce their most powerful WW2 drama since Hacksaw Ridge or Schindler’s List.

What I learned from doing this assignment: Well, I love subtext. It gets the audience to do the work, and they love that, too. There was already quite a bit of subtext layered into this. But I found a few places where I could add some, and one significant exchange between the Chaplain and Goering, who implies, for those who know, that they will never hang him.

GOERING

Death. By hanging. Like a common criminal. A Reichsmarshall!

The line, based on what Goering actually said at Nuremberg after sentencing, foreshadows his suicide and points up his fatal flaw, his utter vanity.

Another helpful assignment. Thank you.