Screenwriting Mastery › Forums › Writing Hilarious Comedy › Hilarious Comedy 2 › Lesson 4
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Lesson 4
Posted by cheryl croasmun on June 30, 2025 at 7:22 pmReply to post your work.
Renee Miller replied 1 week, 1 day ago 4 Members · 4 Replies -
4 Replies
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DAY 4 ASSIGNMENT:
What I learned: Fleshing out the structure identifies how the plot will or won’t work. It also opens up ways to explore subplots between characters, which is what I’m looking forward to creating next.Genre: Female-led buddy comedy
Title: Pamperus Island
Concept: Two rival real estate agents join forces despite being women of opposite personalities and backgrounds based on the advice of a scheming industrial psychologist.Act 1: Normal world
Opening: Elizabeth and Lovie as children reveal their traits, Elizabeth the snob insults her nanny while playing Barbies (she’s Jr. League Barbie while Nanny is Biker and Goth Barbie); Tomboy Lovie looks for the perfect location to build a fort Then we see the same traits emerge as adults when both women end up at the same restaurant to celebrate their birthdays. Elizabeth and her stuffy tri-delt sorority sisters (and their gifts) versus Lovie and her witty sisterhoodInciting Incident: While at a real estate convention in Las Vegas, Elizabeth and Love win a coaching program with Dr. Kirk Deller, the keynote speaker and industrial psychologist on the lookout for subjects for his human behavior experiments
Turning Point: Both women meet privately with Dr. Deller, each one seeking his approval; they agree to his suggestion of partnership at the real estate office
Act 2: Challenge the Old Ways
New plan: Dr, Deller incentivizes both women to stay partners despite their methods of attracting selling clients are vastly different. He educates Mrs. Murray as to how she will be his accomplice.Plan in action: Under the guise of office manager, Mrs. Murray sets up appointments that ensure both agents get wrong clients, wrong open houses, addresses, etc.
Midpoint Turning Point: We find out Deller is behind the scenes working pitching a reality television show about Human Behavior in the Workplace and is not getting great feedback, so he ups the chaos. Mrs. Murray switches side and decides to work with Lovie and Elizabeth to sabotage Deller.
Act 3: Re-Evaluation
Rethink Everything: Deller finds out Mrs. Murray is a double agent and has to come up with a plan to disrupt her plans so he can close the deal on the TV and book deal he has in the works.New plan: Deller blackmails everyone in the office with the dirt he has found on them, either through background checks, or flagrant disasters he sets up so he can continue to manipulate their behavior
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: Elizabeth and Lovie employ local wildly eccentric characters who line up to play along so they can mess with Deller’s experiments, except Elizabeth has fallen in love with Deller (who was repulsive to her earlier) and plans to help him seal the deal so she can star and look amazing in the TV show
Act 4: Climax
Ultimate expression of the conflict: Lovie convinces Elizabeth they are better together than the scheming psychologist, so she proposes a radical solution to discredit Deller. They somehow turn the whole experimental psychology chaos back onto Deller.Resolution: Elizabeth and Lovie end up writing the book and sealing the TV deal. They somehow turn the whole experiment on Deller. Despite their differences, they end up enjoying each other’s disparities and learn that human connection defies categorization. Their breakthrough upsets stereotypes and proves they are more than the sum of their dysfunctions.
I still haven’t found out how to get AI feedback after marking complete. What am I missing?
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Hey Jodie – I’m a little late to the party, but if you are still not finding the AI button here’s where you can find it.
After you hit the mark complete button at the end of the lesson. Go back into that lesson and scroll to the bottom, the AI button should now be colored on the right hand side of the screen. Hit the button and a window will pop up where you can paste your lesson. After you paste your lesson, hit the submit key. It will take the AI a few minutes to go through and provide you feedback. Your feedback will appear in the lesson, at the bottom of the screen under the lesson that you pasted. Hope this helps.
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What I learned doing this assignment is to use a 4 Act structure to guide the script.
Genre: comedy
Title: Unaccountable
Concept: A mild-mannered accountant must navigate a corrupt hip hop world when a gangsta rapper/ music mogul forcibly recruits him to cook the books of his criminal empire before an upcoming audit.
Act 1:
Opening: Music mogul MC SLAUGHTER has two of his goons dangle a rapper over a high balcony to get him to sign onto his label Slaughterhouse records. The terrified man agrees and is brought back inside. Another minion announces that a messenger has dropped off papers saying MC’s empire is about to be audited again.
Inciting Incident: Slaughter goes to his accountant firm Madden/Wheeler only to find his personal accountant BEN MADDEN is on vacation; junior accountant JERRY WHEELER has been put in charge. Slaughter drops off his documents, flattering Jerry after he hears a sample of his poetry. He even arranges for Jerry to visit his exclusive club where he meets the club manager KLAMIDIA. She had hopes of being a singer but Slaughter had second thoughts and has relegated her to be club manager instead.
Turning Point: The original accountant has in fact gone into hiding. Slaughter insists that Jerry do the work himself…or else.
Act 2:
New plan: Jerry reluctantly agrees. He commiserates with his would-be girlfriend EMILY from his writing group where they write poetry each week
Plan in action: He soon realizes there’s no legal way to cover up Slaughter’s money laundering and has to refuse.
Midpoint Turning Point; When Jerry politely refuses, Slaughter kidnaps Emily to force Jerry’s cooperation. Jerry attempts a rescue and is humiliated by Slaughter’s bodyguards PRETTY BOI and BUSTA NUTT.
Act 3:
Rethink everything: Jerry considers covering up for Slaughter. He goes over past paperwork that Madden did to basically hide everything. He then hatches a plan to find Madden.
New plan: Track down a secret property where Madden is probably hiding out
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: The location turns out to be a dead end and Jerry is facing a deadline.
Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Jerry finds a clue in Madden’s email leading to where he actually is: the Grand Cayman Islands. He goes there and threatens to tell the authorities unless Madden does the books, including showing all the crimes Slaughter committed.
Resolution: Jerry returns and delivers the audit just in time; Slaughter presumes it’s all in his favor, signs it and releases Emily. The FBI then arrest Slaughter for inadvertently admitting to fraud. The paperwork also shows the club to be the one legitimate source of income which now must be turned over to its manager Klamidia.
She reopens the club as a showcase for up-and-coming performers. She introduces the first act: Jerry, using his poetry skills, raps as the Notorious C.P.A. and brings the house down. -
What I learned doing this assignment is that the 4-act structure really does make it easier to get through the 2nd act of the screenplay. I wish everyone used this structure as it makes it easier to get to that 120 pages.
Genre: Teen Comedy / Horror
Title: Diary of a Teenage Zombie
Concept/Logline: When the school’s reigning queen bee wakes up undead, she’ll stop at nothing — from duct-taping her limbs to bribing the nurse — to hide her decaying body and hold onto her perfect life. As her instincts to devour her classmates grow harder to resist, she must decide if being loved for who she pretends to be is worth losing who she really is, or whatever’s left of her.
Act 1
Opening: Hailey Harper’s life is sparkly perfection. She’s cheer captain, dating the quarterback, and a shoo-in for Homecoming Queen. Her diary voiceover is bright and smug, detailing a flawless routine of beauty hacks, social power moves, and how much she loves being adored.
Inciting Incident: At a forest bonfire party, trying to show up Madison, Hailey gets bitten by what she believes is a raccoon. The next morning she wakes up pale, has her first terrifying craving for raw meat, and finds a dark vein crawling up her neck.
Turning Point: After nearly tearing into a grocery store raw chicken — witnessed by Nate and Pepper — and then losing her ear in the bathroom, Hailey realizes: she’s becoming a zombie. But with Homecoming weeks away, she decides she’ll keep it hidden at all costs — popularity means everything.
Act 2
New Plan: Hailey launches a frantic regime: extra makeup to hide the gray, duct tape to hold herself together, meat smoothies to curb the cravings. She ropes Nate into being her fixer, while Pepper sees her as the ultimate paranormal test case.
Plan in Action: Her problems escalate from uncomfortable to unbearable: At first it’s just nausea and bad skin. Then her teeth start coming loose during a pep rally. Finally, she struggles not to bite a classmate who cuts her in line.
Meanwhile, comedic tension rises: Pepper tries “therapeutic taser sessions.” Hailey attempts a romantic makeout with Travis that goes wrong when her tongue nearly detaches.
Midpoint Turning Point: Madison catches Hailey gnawing a steak raw and films it. Now Hailey isn’t just afraid of losing the crown — she could become a viral meme or get hunted. Her carefully constructed world is on the brink.
Act 3
Rethink Everything: During a cheer stunt, her leg literally pops off. Mortified, Hailey breaks down. Nate confronts her, pushing her to see that everything she’s chasing is hollow. For the first time, she confesses she’s terrified of being unloved if people see the real, rotting her.
New Plan: Inspired by Pepper, who’s rounding up all the school misfits into a weird little support club, Hailey decides: she’ll go to Homecoming, rotting or not, and show them who she really is.
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: At Homecoming, Madison dramatically reveals the zombie video. The crowd gasps, people scream — but in a twist, some students whip out their phones not to shame her, but to film her up close. Madison’s plan partially backfires — Hailey is humiliated, but she’s also suddenly a dark, morbid curiosity, weirdly cool to the outcasts. Hailey nearly gives in to instinct and lunges at Madison, teeth bared — then stops, breathes, and instead grabs the mic to deliver a messy, brutally funny confession.
Act 4
Climax / Ultimate expression of the conflict: Hailey peels off her wig to reveal patchy scalp, lets her peeling skin show, and finally owns it. Her speech is raw, awkward, and darkly hilarious as she admits she’s literally dead and still craves validation more than brains (though barely). The room is dead silent… until Pepper’s “Zombie Club” starts clapping. One by one, others join in, then Nate (holding Pepper’s hand now) gives a quiet little cheer. The horror shifts into communal acceptance — not everyone’s thrilled, but they’re starting to see her differently.
Resolution: Hailey is crowned Homecoming Queen, not for being perfect, but for being brave enough to be spectacularly imperfect. As her nose drops off, she just laughs and waves it at the crowd. New normal glimpse: The next week at school, we see her openly wearing zombie-themed accessories, classmates trying to take selfies with her, and the cafeteria now serving questionable “protein options” for the undead — a sly hint that society is adjusting, too. In her diary voiceover, Hailey jokes that maybe love stories aren’t in the cards for a decomposing corpse. Still, friendship, being seen for who you are, and learning to dance without worrying if a leg falls off — that’s enough to make (un)life pretty spectacular.
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