Lesson 2

[JOSEPH SWANSON]

Joe Swanson Puts Essence to Work

What I learned is: It’s not that the scene is always completely off base, but finding the essence can help show what the scene is missing to make it more impactful. Basically take it up a notch.

Script I chose: The Impossible Story of Oliver M

Scene 1 Location: Act 1

Logline: Oliver gets lost in parking garage, can’t find his car.

Essence I’ve discovered: A relatable memory lapse serves as a first small hint that all is not okay.

New Logline: A more insistent Oliver argues with a parking attendant over his missing car only to have his wife confirm that the car was never there.

Scene 2 Location: Act 1

Logline: Oliver runs into a colleague who has the career Oliver has failed to achieve.

Essence I’ve discovered: Oliver feels inadequate and questions his legacy.

New Logline: Oliver must present an award to an overachieving colleague at a party being held in the colleague’s honor.

Scene 3 Location: Act 2

Logline: After Oliver shares his positive diagnosis news, Jenson reveals that he’s not safe and might be followed by Russian spies.

Essence I’ve discovered: A new threat emerges that instigates Oliver’s paranoia.

New Logline: Jenson insists on giving Oliver a gun while at the same time trying to downplay the threat to Oliver’s safety, which makes him question his safety even more.

Scene 3 Location: Act 2

Logline: Jenson’s assistant tells Oliver that Jenson is using him, not actually treating him.

Essence I’ve discovered: Oliver has been avoiding reality. Deep down he knew all along he wasn’t getting better.

New Logline: After Jenson’s assistant tells Oliver that Jenson is using him, Oliver’s symptoms immediately return.

Scene 5 Location: Act 3

Logline: When they get home from the hospital Oliver’s wife can’t keep it together – she breaks down in front of her children. They comfort her.

Essence I’ve discovered: Oliver’s wife finally has to accept reality and in doing so realizes that she and the kids still have each other and will be okay.

New Logline: Oliver’s wife loses it when she discovers an opossum has eaten the family’s pineapple. Her children salvage the remaining bits.

[Patricia Brown]

<font face=”Arial, sans-serif”>Pat Brown Puts Essence to Work</font>

<font face=”Arial, sans-serif”>What I learned is…</font>

<font face=”Arial, sans-serif”>Script I choose: LORDS OF FROGTOWN</font>

<font face=”Arial, sans-serif”>Scene 1 Location: Hollywood gay bar
Logline: Ex gay-porn star, Johnny Wager, discovers he has a 21-year-old son from a high school fling.
I’ve discovered that Wager doesn’t even remember the girl he slept with once in high school and never knew she was pregnant. He has to deal with a 21-year-old stranger who’s also a cop. Wager has never lived on the straight and narrow. Now he has a son who’s admired him all his life because of the lies his mother told him. He can’t possibly be the man his son thinks he is. And would he want to be?
New Logline: An ex-gay-porn actor having a midlife crisis discovers he has a twenty-one-year-old son from a high school fling he doesn’t even remember.</font>

<font face=”Arial, sans-serif”>Scene 2 Location: Lawyer’s Office
Logline: Wager discovers why his son came looking for him.
Essence I’ve discovered: This scene sets up what will be the main interaction between Wager and his son. The dead mother’s will forces the two men to spend time together.
New Logline: Father and son discover a dead woman is manipulating them.</font>

<font face=”Arial, sans-serif”>Scene 3 Location: Parking Garage
Logline: Danger finds Wager unexpectedly.
Essence I’ve discovered: This presents the first threat to Wager. The threat comes out of nowhere and we don’t even know if Wager’s been shot or how bad he is.
New Logline: With his world turned upside down, Wager faces new danger.</font>

<font face=”Arial, sans-serif”>Scene 4 Location: Hospital
Logline: Wager awakens in a hospital bed and wants to go home.
Essence I’ve discovered: Learns a bit more about Wager. He doesn’t like being helpless and he resists being helped.
New Logline: Wager flees the hospital only to find out his life has gone from bad to worse.</font>

<font face=”Arial, sans-serif”>Scene 5 Location: Police Station
Logline: Wager faces the threat of being charged with murder
Essence I’ve discovered: Wager plays word games with the cops. He’s not taking this very seriously.
New Logline: Wager plays word tag with the cops.</font>

[James Clark]

CREATIVE MASTERY

James Clark Puts Essence to work

What I learned: By seeing the Essence of the scene, I can elevate the logline.

Lesson 2: Discovering The Essence

Five scene exercise to improve the essence of the scene

SCREENPLAY: Happy Hearts

Format: Location, Logline, Essence, New logline

A- Opening scene Pg 1.

a. Location: Along Interstate 10 just east of the Coachella Valley

b. Logline: Ruth takes in the landscape of her temporary winter home.

c. Essence: Ruth’s life is about to change

d. New Logline: New location, new life, new adventure, new experiences.

B- Margie confronts Karen Pgs 8-9

a. Location; Margie’s House

b. Logline: Trying to intimidate Margie, Karen gets her comeuppance

c. Essence: Karen tries to intimidate Margie

d. New Logline: Margie’s sharp and tough and is no holds barred in a fight

C- Margie, Ruth and Karen together for the first time pgs 16-17

a. Location: Margie’s hospital room

b. Logline: Karen crashes Margie’s hospital room

c. Essence: Margie’s done with Karen

d. New Logline: Margie proves she’s smarter than a 29 YO bully.

D- Ruth and Karla discuss Clifton pgs 29-30

a. VFW Powder Room

b. Logline: Karla give Ruth the lowdown on Clifton

c. Essence: Know what you’re getting into.

d. New Logline: Veterans carry baggage.

E- Ruth Reveals to Margie that Walter is her birth father. Pgs 37-38

a. Location: Irv’s Deli

b. Logline: Ruth drops a bomb

c. Essence: Reveal knowledge in a kind way

New Logline: Ruth faces a tough choice.