Lesson 4

[Jack Young]

What I learned doing this assignment is we, as storytellers, love to tell our stories our way, but we also need to realize that television and film production is a business and we need to consider ways to bring commercial value to them by making them as interesting as we can so that viewers as well as producers are intrigued and caught up in our stories.

STREAM’S 10 Most Interesting Things:

A. What is most unique about your villain and hero?

Cronus, although as evil as they come, is still part human and therefore has the same weaknesses and crutches that humans have. While Michael is the most reluctant hero ever, having only thought about himself and his getting ahead during the worst epidemic or crisis to ever strike mankind, he still makes the right decision to sacrifice himself for the sake of his family.

B. Major hook of your opening scene?

Michael has seen our future and it includes aliens, sorcerers, war, and a mysterious seal.

C. Any turning points?

Michael must consent to dying to enter the mysterious Stream to save mankind.

The government initially thought the Professor was a nut, but after an investigation, have determined he is on to something. They assign the job to Homeland Security, in a surprise move, to send their own team into the stream to shut it down.

D. Emotional dilemma?

Michael can either wait out his death from brain cancer or commit to dying by electric shock.

Michael’s wife Diane, knows that Michael believes he must die to help end the no-birth crisis and knows that Michael wants her forgiveness for the mess he’s made on their lives, but she forgets to forgive him before he dies.

E. Major twists?

When Michael dies and finds himself on a mysterious planet run by Cronus, he has a mission to shut down the Stream to save mankind, but realizes soon after that a bigger problem has arose. The whole effort on the plant is for one purpose…to raise the seals and unleash the power that lay underneath. What lay underneath is a more substantial problem in that it could affect not only man but the entire universe.

F. Reversals?

The government reverses its approach to the no-birth crisis, now believing the Professor’s theory and taking action on it.

G. Character betrayals?

In the beginning, Michael has betrayed his wife with an affair. Also, his wife has betrayed Michael by not telling him about the truth with Jimmy and her involvement, instead letting Michael live with the guilt.

Later, on the planet of seals, a human betrays the other humans by helping Cronus to build a steel support system to raise the seals after the opposition underground destroys the wooden structure being used to raise the seals.

H. Or any big surprises?

When the human that betrayed the underground by showing Cronus how to raise the seals gets his wish….death, he secretly passes key information about Cronus’ operation to the underground to help in their fight against Cronus.

2. Make a list of any other things in your script that could interest a producer.

The story is expansive enough to cover 5 seasons.

[Eric Humble]

Eric Humble’s 10 Most Interesting Things

What I learned is: that when I break down the big moments into a list, I have a catalog of only interesting things that I can reference during a pitch. This has allowed me to distill the material for a pitch or query letter away from the drama and details and only have interesting hooks from which to draw as I assemble the pitch. This strategy has yielded some great results for me during the Masterclass and Fearlessness as a Writer classes, so I’m excited to see how it works when pitching a TV show/pilot as opposed to a feature.

A. What is most unique about your villain and hero?

Jude: brilliant pharma chemist who all the others come to for corrections and advice, has solved the cure for cancer

Marks: ruthless corporate exec who can move markets and crush people in normal life, but is a powerless whipping boy within The Conclave

B. Major hook of your opening scene?

Everyone in the lab is dead, and a man in a ceremonial mask is holding Jude at gunpoint – gives him a chance to drink the poison before this becomes “unpleasant”

C. Any turning points?

He has the cure for cancer but isn’t allowed to pursue it – when his wife is diagnosed with inoperable cancer

He discovers a secret society – proceeds like a humdrum business meeting except everyone wears ceremonial masks and two prospective members fight to the death as it proceeds

A sniper is about to kill Dres. Jude has no choice but to drop a statue on him and kill him

His friend is one of The Conclave – the man in the mask from the opening, here to kill him

Jude has to kill his friend to escape and keep Dres safe

D. Emotional dilemma?

Either kill to gain entrance into The Conclave or stay safe and never be able to develop the cure that can save millions of lives including his wife’s

E. Major twists?

Jude has to go up against Marks and The Conclave to save his dying wife… while Marks has to stop him in order to save his dying daughter

F. Reversals?

Jude vows to infiltrate The Conclave to help Dres get her revenge, while Dres plots to con Jude out of his money and turn him over to The Conclave once she gets what she wants

The cure for cancer that Jude developed actually doesn’t work… without Dres’s DNA

G. Character betrayals?

Jude’s best friend Steinmetz risks his life to rescue Dres and joins Jude on his mission to create the cure and unmask The Conclave… only to reveal he’s one of The Conclave’s top assassins, sent by Marks to kill Jude if he gets too close to the truth

H. Or any big surprises?

Dres is a homeless con artist who targets bigwigs in the Pharma industry… but she’s also an immortal, who is over 100 years old

Dres is being hunted by The Conclave because she’s an immortal… because her DNA contains the cure for cancer that Jude has been searching for for years

2. Make a list of any other things in your script that could interest a producer.

The Conclave is a secret society made up of top execs in the Big Healthcare, Big Pharma, and Big Insurance industries intent on suppressing cures to diseases in order to shape human history

3. Organize both and select the 10 most interesting things. Post those to the forums.

The Conclave is a secret society made up of top execs in the Big Healthcare, Big Pharma, and Big Insurance industries intent on suppressing cures to diseases in order to shape human history

Jude: brilliant pharma chemist who all the others come to for corrections and advice, has solved the cure for cancer

Marks: ruthless corporate exec who can move markets and crush people in normal life, but is a powerless whipping boy within The Conclave

He has the cure for cancer but isn’t allowed to pursue it – when his wife is diagnosed with inoperable cancer

He discovers a secret society – proceeds like a humdrum business meeting except everyone wears ceremonial masks and two prospective members fight to the death as it proceeds

Jude has to go up against Marks and The Conclave to save his dying wife… while Marks has to stop him in order to save his dying daughter

The cure for cancer that Jude developed actually doesn’t work… without Dres’s DNA

Dres is a homeless con artist who targets bigwigs in the Pharma industry… but she’s also an immortal, who is over 100 years old

Emotional Dilemma: Either kill to gain entrance into The Conclave or stay safe and never be able to develop the cure that can save millions of lives including his wife’s

Jude’s best friend Steinmetz risks his life to rescue Dres and joins Jude on his mission to create the cure and unmask The Conclave… only to reveal he’s one of The Conclave’s top assassins, sent by Marks to kill Jude if he gets too close to the truth