Lesson 4

[Jack Young]

Jack Young’s Character Story Lines

What I learned doing this assignment is that we need to map out our characters before winding them up to tell their story so we have solid beats to hit. This hopefully will result in a more engrossing story for the viewer.

Beginning, middle, and end of the character’s story for the pilot:

FOR MICHAEL:

Beginning: Michael goes to work. He sees a woman commit suicide. Stock deal goes bad.

Turning Point: He finds out FBI is after him.

Midpoint: Michael finds out he has brain cancer at hospital. TV Program with Professor plays over and over.

Turning Point 2: Michael sees the Stream with wife. Pulls her out with professor when she gets pulled in.

Major Conflict: He finds out that he must die to go into the Stream.

Ending: Michael dies and goes into Stream.

(Dilemma is optional.) They must keep Michael’s body from police for Michael to return.

FOR THE PROFESSOR:

Beginning: Professor warns public of the Stream on TV.

Turning Point: Professor receives cryptic message that Michael Walker is candidate. He’s shown newspaper that whisks away from his hand.

Midpoint: Professor takes Michael and Diane into the astral plane to see the Stream.

Turning Point 2: Professor tells Michael that he must kill him to get into the Stream.

Major Conflict: Professor doesn’t believe that Michael has real chance to return. He gets into argument with Thomas about the chance of returning if Stream is shut down.

Ending: Professor stops Michael’s heart.

(Dilemma is optional.) Michael’s body must be maintained by machine.

FOR DIANE:

Beginning: Diane makes breakfast and obviously is aware of Michael’s affair (She takes last of coffee and toast. She’s “offish” with him.). Suspects Michael is up to something with his phonecall.

Turning Point: Diane is called to go to bar where he collapsed. Sees his girlfriend there making report. FBI tells her about warrant.

Midpoint: She goes to hospital to find out that Michael has brain cancer and is dying. Diane sees a mysterious newspaper with Michael’s obituary foreshadowing his death. She puts it in her purse.

Turning Point 2: Diane goes into astral plane to see Stream. She gets caught up in Stream.

Major Conflict: Michael has his heart stopped. Diane forgets to forgive him.

Ending: Son sees his father die and freaks out. She tries to console him.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by  Jack Young.

[Madeleine Vessel]

Madeleine Vessel’s Character Story Lines

Doing this assignment, I learned that developing character storylines, weaving them together, and dividing them into 5 acts gives me the first version of my outline. Still rudimentary, but very excited.

SOPHIE’S STORYLINE:

Beginning: Sophie is the art history professor cleaning Falisa’s Ivan Aivazovsky seascape painting.<div>

Turning Point: Sophie’s father, Zhora, and his fiancée, Falisa, are gunned down by Russians in front of her house. Critically injured, Zhora is taken to the hospital. Dead, Falisa is transported to the morgue in a body bag.

Midpoint: Sophie meets FBI Agent Bill Hillman and finds out that Zhora has been working for him as an informant. She fears that her and Zhora’s true identity have been discovered by Russia’s FSB. Bill promises to take care of them both.

Turning Point 2: Sophie comes home to find evidence of an intruder in her house. She calls Bill, but Bill doesn’t pick up.

Dilemma: All alone, she debates whether to leave the house or to investigate. She decides to investigate and meets one of the intruder face-to-face before he disappears down the back stairs.

Major Conflict: She is used to keeping her head down and playing by the rules of U. S. Witness Protection. In order to stop the intruders, whom she now believes are art thieves, she’s going to need to expose herself.Ending: Sophie and Bill verify that the Russian gunmen were art thieves, not FSB.

BILL’S STORYLINE:

Beginning: Bill and his ten-year-old daughter, Lucy, pick up Lucy’s grandmother at the airport. He’s planning a trip to Russia, so he needs his mother to take care of Lucy while he’s gone.

Turning Point: While at the airport, Bill receives a call that his informant, Zhora, has been shot and has been hospitalized in critical condition. He heads for the hospital, leaving Lucy and his mother to fend for themselves.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Midpoint: Bill meets Sophie in Zhora’s hospital room. He tells Sophie that Zhora thinks the shooters were enemies from his past. That means to Sophie that they are FSB.

Turning Point: Bill promises to protect Sophie and Zhora, but when Sophie calls him for help with intruders, he doesn’t pick up.

Dilemma: Bill arrives at Sophie’s and Zhora’s apartment and determines that there isn’t anything in the house FSB would be interested in and that the intruders were more interested in Sophie’s paintings than anything else.

Major Conflict: Does Bill include Sophie in his investigation of Falisa’s house to find out if Falisa’s paintings were stolen, putting them both in jeopardy of being caught by SFPD? He decides to take Sophie with him.

Ending: Bill and Sophie verify that the Russian gunmen were art thieves, not FSB.

OUTLINE VERSION 1

(S) stands for Sophie; (B) stands for Bill; (Z) stands for Zhora

Act 1

Essence: Opens with (S) cleaning an Ivan Aivazovsky painting that belongs to Falisa, her father’s fiancée. (S) is an art history professor and painter, who cleans paintings on the side. She, along with her father, are Russian defectors living under assumed identities in the U. S. Witness protection program.

Turning Point: (Z) and Falisa are shot outside Falisa’s house by Russian gunmen. Critically injured, Zhora is transported to the hospital. Dead, Falisa is transported to the morgue in a body bag.

Act 2

Essence: Zhora and Sophie fear the Russian shooters are enemies from Zhora’s Russian past with FSB. Not only are they in danger of being exterminated, but they may also have to start over their lives again in the U. S. Witness Protection Program.

(S Opening) (S) meets (B) in (Z’s) hospital room. She learns that Bill is an FBI Agent and that (Z) is his informant. It shocks (S) to realize that (Z) hasn’t been living by the rules of witness protection.

(S Turning Point 1) Sophie learns that (Z) believes the shooters were FSB. The ramifications of this are too terrible for (S) to contemplate. Either, they will be on the run from FSB, or they will be forced to reenter witness protection under new names and occupations.

(B) promises to take care of (Z) and (S).

(S Midpoint) (S) returns home to find the alarm off. There’s an intruder in the house. She calls (B), but he doesn’t pick up. She investigates on her own and comes face-to-face with one of the intruders, who get away down the back stairs.

(S and B Turning Point) (B) and (S) find nothing in her apartment that would draw FSB. They do find that the intruders seem very interested in (S’s) paintings. This prompts (S) to think the Russians might be art thieves, not Russians.

Act 3

Essence: Bill and Sophie search her apartment for clues to why the Russians were there.

(B) finds nothing that would draw FSB, but he does notice that the Russian intruders seemed very interested in (S’s) paintings.

Act 4

Essence: (B) and (S) form an alliance to find out the real reason the Russians shot (Z) and Falisa. They determine the shooters were art thieves, not FSB.

(S) reveals that she has been cleaning one of Falisa’s paintings in her faculty office and that the painting may well be an Old Russian Master. I could be that the Russians were after that painting.

Act 5

Essence: Bill takes Sophie with him to Falisa’s house to verify whether or not her Old Russian Masters have been stolen.

(S and B midpoint) (S) and (B) find all Falisa’s paintings gone. The Russians are determined art thieves, not FSB.

Now, the pressure is on (B) to identify the Russians, so (S) and (Z) will not attract public attention and, by extension, FSB attention.

</div>

[Eric Humble]

Eric Humble’s Character Story Lines

What I learned doing this assignment is: how to layer the A, B, and C storylines so that they each feel complete. This is still very rough, and I’m not sure how much of each storyline I’ll end up including – but I was really blown away by how complete the outline feels, just because the storylines aren’t left dangling. It was a really interesting way to work the structure of the characters into the five-act structure. At first, I wasn’t sure that it would feel smooth; some of my characters’ storylines felt like they’d be too heavily-favored in one act rather than spread out across the whole five. But looking at it now, it feels pretty balanced and focused. I’m excited to see what we’ll do next to flesh it out further, but this is a pretty satisfying first step.

Jude

Character Arc:

START: Searching for a cure for cancer

END: Target of a cabal… which he has to infiltrate if he’s to secure the cure

Beginning: Gets an award for his research. Comfortable life, loving marriage. Corporate shill with an honorable line of work – curing cancer via DNA of ancient remains… and he’s close to the cure. Then, his wife contracts imoperable cancer… so he needs to find the cure, which he does!

Turning Point: A secret cabal is out to kill Dres, thus ending any hope for a cure. And Jude has killed one of their people to save her!

Midpoint: These people can kill a powerful exec with ties to the Justice Department. They are bigger than federal law enforcement and more powerful than the ultra-rich…

Dilemma: They’re in Jude’s house, forcing him to hand over the blood sample so they can destroy it… or they’ll kill him and Catherine.

Turning Point 2: Jude and Dres plot to unmask cabal members… by Jude infiltrating them.

Major Conflict: He has to get to his lab to synthesize the cure with the blood sample he didn’t tell them he had.

Ending: The cabal blows up the lab with his team inside. He’s jobless and without the sample.

Marks

Character Arc:

START: CEO who shifts markets and crushes his enemies.

END: Edged out and possibly targeted for assassination by his own mentor… lowest on the totem pole.

Beginning: Makes a spur of the moment decision at a board meeting regarding insulin prices… and markets go haywire. He’s successful and ruthless, but his daughter is dying of MS, and for all his power in the world of medicine, he’s tormented that he can’t save her.

Turning Point: The active shooter scenario fails to kill Dres. He has to answer for his failure to the cabal leader. He smoothes it over by pitching them Jude – if he can bring him into his company, the cabal will have his DNA analysis system to track their targets. He’s given a second chance.

Midpoint: Second failure, which also has Jude kill one of his men…necessitating his demise as well… or Marks will be tortured and killed for his failure.

Turning Point 2: Discovers his mentor is harboring a secret trove of information beyond cancer… but with his standing, he’s forbidden to ever see it

Dilemma: Betray his mentor to cure his daughter.

Major Conflict: He confronts Jude at his home and destroys the blood sample. But he doesn’t kill him as ordered. Instead, he destroys his lab and forces him to take the job with his corporation.

Ending: He’s making moves against his leader, inviting Jude inside… even as the walls close in on him.

Dres

Character Arc:

START: Ghost

END: Surfacing at her own risk to get her revenge

Beginning: At the gala, schmoozing a CEO. But she’s actually working a con, and after the shooting brings attention to her, she stings him for $1 million dollars and ghosts him. Then she donates the entire sum to charity and continues living homeless.

Turning Point: Jude is searching for her… not knowing that he is being followed and is starting to draw attention to her.

Midpoint: Jude saves her life, and knows her secret.

Turning Point 2: The cabal doesn’t kill Jude – which means he’s valuable to them. He may at long last be her in with the higher-ups.

Dilemma: Disappear and this is done and she’s safe… or trust him and get her revenge. But she’ll have to kill him when it’s all over.

Major Conflict: She has to coach him in how to con them when they approach him.

Ending: She remains in her place instead of moving on… but she’s paranoid and at extreme risk.

First version of outline:

Teaser:

Essence: Jude is being followed everywhere by persons unknown.

Turning Point: He ducks into an alley and waits with a gun… only for the entire street to freeze and a masked man tells him he’s failed the test. And the penalty for failure is death.

Act 1:

Essence: (J Beginning) Jude lives a comfortable life in the Big Pharma world. Loving marriage to Catherine with no secrets between them.

(M Beginning) Marks makes a spur of the moment decision at a board meeting regarding insulin prices… and markets go haywire. He’s successful and ruthless, but his daughter is dying of MS, and for all his power in the world of medicine, he’s tormented that he can’t save her.

Jude receives an award for his proprietary DNA research, which is bringing him close to a cure for cancer…

(D Beginning) At the gala, schmoozing a CEO…

Turning Point: …when an active shooter attacks the gala.

Act 2:

Essence: Catherine just has a harmless flesh wound… but in treating her, Jude turns up that she also has inoperable cancer. He pushes his research to find the cure… and discovers it, in an inadvertent blood sample from someone at the gala – Dres. But who she is and why she was there is a total mystery.

(M Turning Point) The active shooter scenario has failed to kill “the target.” Marks has to answer for his failure to the cabal leader. He smoothes it over by pitching them Jude – if he can bring him into his company, the cabal will have his DNA analysis system to track their targets. He’s given a second chance.

(D Beginning) Dres was actually working a con on the CEO at the gala, and after the shooting brings attention to her, she stings him for $1 million dollars and ghosts him. Then she donates the entire sum to charity and prepares to move on, continuing to live homeless.

(D Turning Point) Jude is searching for her… not knowing that he is being followed and is starting to draw attention to her.

Turning Point/Midpoint: Jude questions Dres… when someone tries to kill her. She was the target of the shooter at the gala, and there are more after her. (J Turning Point) A secret cabal is out to kill Dres, thus ending any hope for a cure. And Jude has killed one of their people to save her!

Act 3:

Essence: (D Midpoint) Jude has saved her life, and knows her secret. So she helps him dispose of the body, after which she ducks out on him.

(M Midpoint) Second failure, which necessitates Marks kill Jude as well… or Marks will be tortured and killed for his failure.

(M Turning Point 2) Marks discovers his mentor is harboring a secret trove of information beyond cancer… but with his standing, he’s forbidden to ever see it.

(M Dilemma) Betray his mentor to cure his daughter.

Turning Point: A police detective finds a clue that leads directly to Jude… and his aloofness makes him appear guiltier than ever.

Act 4:

Essence: Jude appeals to a powerful person inside the Big Pharma industry who has ties to the Justice Department for help handling the police.

Turning Point: It’s a set-up. The cabal visit him in his home at night – acting like police at first… then assaulting him and warning him off. (J Dilemma) They force him to hand over the blood sample so they can destroy it… or they’ll kill him and Catherine. He gives it to them, insists it’s the only one. (M Major Conflict) Marks doesn’t kill him as ordered.

(J Midpoint) As they leave, he discovers they’ve killed his powerful friend – they are bigger than federal law enforcement and more powerful than the ultra-rich… Their appearance triggers memories of the masked gang that drove his brother to suicide in his youth.

Act 5:

Essence: Jude realizes the only way to keep Dres safe and manufacture the cure is to get inside this secret society.

(D Turning Point 2) Dres considers what happened… The cabal didn’t kill Jude – which means he’s valuable to them. He may at long last be her in with the higher-ups. (D Dilemma) Disappear and this is done and she’s safe… or trust him and get her revenge. But she’ll have to kill him when it’s all over.

(J Turning Point 2) Jude and Dres plot to unmask cabal members… by Jude infiltrating them. (D Major Conflict) She coaches him in how to con them when they approach him.

(J Major Conflict) He has to get to his lab to synthesize the cure with the blood sample he didn’t tell them he had.

Lock In: Marks blows up his lab – and his assistant inside – along with the other sample he claimed didn’t exist.

(J Ending) He’s jobless and without the sample… and his only option is to work for Marks’s corporation.

(M Ending) Marks is making moves against his leader, inviting Jude inside… even as the walls close in on him.

(D Ending) She remains in her place instead of moving on… but she’s paranoid and at extreme risk.

[George Petersen]

George Petersen – CHARACTER STORY LINES

What I learned doing this assignment is that story foundations are complex and multilayered

KATE

Beginning: A young widow trying to get a job

Turning Point: Assumes the role of Miss Dixie in roiling Baltimore

Midpoint: Discovers who is behind the plot to assassinate President Lincoln

Turning Point 2: Makes Captain Ferrandini her target. Her goal is to find out the details of the assassination plot.

Dilemma: Her feelings for the handsome Ferrandini are in conflict with the goals of her job. She tells Ferrandini not to trust Hutchinson; trust her instead.

Major Conflict: As time goes on, it’s difficult for her pretending to be a champion of slaveholding values.

Ending: Accomplished Union spy searching for physical evidence to prove the assassination plot to Lincoln’s handlers.

PINKERTON

Beginning: Owner of the first independent detective agency established to provide security to the railroads going in and out of Chicago

Turning Point: Ferrandini tells Pinkerton that he will sponsor him for membership in the KGC

Midpoint: Pinkerton undergoes the harrowing initiation ceremony for the Knights of the Golden Circle

Turning Point 2: Pinkerton gives Ferrandini another large investment payout. He tells Ferrandini not to trust Kate. Trust him instead.

Dilemma: Pinkerton is conflicted: should he order Kate to go deeper and get the physical proof they need to present to Lincoln’s handlers, or should he order her to hold back and avoid danger? She’s the daughter he never had. How could he live with himself if… well, if she died and it was his fault?

Major Conflict: As a member of the Underground Railroad, it’s hard for Pinkerton to pretend to be a champion of slaveholding values.

Ending: Having infiltrated the KGC, Pinkerton witnesses the evolution of the assassination plot firsthand. The problem is: who will believe him?

*

Teaser:

Essence:

Lincoln and Mary exit a train station, get in an open carriage. No dignitaries present. No police. The crowd around them presses in, the horses can’t move. A well dressed man entreats the President politely to make a speech. A weary Lincoln stands up in the carriage. Begins speaking. Someone grabs at his ankle, he goes down. Mary looks around confused. Now a mob, Lincoln is dragged into the hysterical frenzy, being pulled apart by his arms and legs. Mary stands up and lets out a bloody scream. A top hat goes flying through the air.

Turning Point:

Nightmare? Vision of things to come?

Act 1:

Essence:

Chicago. 1861. The beginning of new year. What will it bring?

Kate convinces Pinkerton to hire her as the first woman detective. Pinkerton is asked to help protect the rail bridges leading into Baltimore. He says goodbye to the black family he has been hiding in his home as part of the Underground Railroad. Kate undergoes training to be a Union spy.

Turning Point:

February. Kate, Pinkerton and his team leave for Baltimore.

In Springfield, Lincoln walks the tree-lined streets, saying goodbye to his neighbors. Deeply felt.

Act 2:

Essence:

Kate and Pinkerton go undercover as Union spies. Finally, Kate gets to put her acting talents to the test. Kate becomes Miss Dixie, spirited Southern socialite, and Pinkerton becomes Mr. Hutchinson, wealthy stockbroker in the arms trade. Together they explore leads to understand why the red shirts are planning to burn the bridges that lead into Baltimore.

In Springfield, Lincoln attends an informal planning meeting with aids in his home. He wants to take the direct rail route to Washington, but he is convinced that it’s too dangerous going through Southern states. He reluctantly agrees to the long northern route through Buffalo and New York.

Turning Point/Midpoint:

Looking a little lost, Angelina takes Miss Dixie under her wing. In an encounter with Angelina’s drunk husband, Rhett of the Black Snakes, Miss Dixie discovers that the rumored assassination plot is real and Captain Ferrandini is the one behind it making it happen.

Act 3:

Essence:

At a crowded luxury hotel lobby, Hutchinson attacks Miss Dixie for being a Union spy. Ferrandini comes to Miss Dixie’s aid, protecting her reputation.

In Springfield, Lincoln meets with his volunteer security detail, a motley crew of retired military advisors, full of bombastic hot air about what a great job they will do defending the President from the rebels.

Turning Point:

Protecting Kate from Hutchinson, Ferrandini has dinner with her. Kate learns the details of the assassination plot.

Act 4:

Essence:

Hutchinson pays Ferrandini a huge sum of money for his investment in the arms trade to help the South. Ferrandini is impressed and sponsors Hutchinson to become a Knight in the KGC.

In Springfield, Lincoln and Mary, the ultimate political couple, are packing for the journey when Mary has a tantrum because Lincoln won’t commit to her recommendations for cabinet posts.

Turning Point:

Pinkerton undergoes the harrowing initiation ceremony into the KGC.

Act 5:

Essence:

Although Kate and Pinkerton learn the details of the plot, they struggle to find physical evidence that would prove the plot to Lincoln’s handlers.

In Springfield, Lincoln says goodbye at the gravesite of his young son, Willy. No matter what happens, I will never leave you.

Lock In:

Embedded in the KGC meeting as Mr. Hutchinson, Pinkerton witnesses helplessly the drawing to select who will have the privilege of assassinating the President. It’s real. It’s happening. And only he and Kate can stop it. If they fail, they could be hung and the Union split in two.

Lincoln gives an extemporaneous , heartfelt goodbye to his friends at Springfield. As the train pulls away, he remains alone on the rear platform, clutching his chest in emotional pain. A man on a train with a small black case. Inside is the only copy of his inaugural address, a glimmer of hope in the pervasive darkness.