Lesson 4

[CJ Lyons]

PATIENT X PILOT FIRST DRAFT OUTLINE:

What I learned from this assignment: the importance of pacing as the various characters’ plots are being interwoven, it also helped me figure out the teaser

TEASER:

Essence: a nun and young girl running away from a housing project, the Tower, unknown forces following them as they finally reach the alley behind a church

Turning Point: the nun tells the girl to run, save herself and shoos her down a stairway, then the nun runs the other way, rounds a corner and is shot in the chest

ACT ONE:

Rossi Beginning: Crazy busy night in ER, treats Ryder, banters with ex-husband Jacob

Ryder Beginning: stupid kitchen accident leads him to ER where meets fiesty doctor, Rossi

Devon Beginning: after years of “exile” returns home to Tower after panicked call from love of his life, Jess

Act One/Rossi’s Turning Point: A shot nun dumped on ER’s steps

ACT TWO:

Devon’s Turning Point: finds Jess murdered and his daughter, Esme, missing

Rossi’s Midpoint: during resuscitation “dead” nun commands Rossi to “save girl”

Ryder’s Turning Point: Rossi tries and fails to save her, now his case

ACT THREE:

Ryder’s Midpoint: Rossi shows up at nun’s murder scene, insists nun told her a girl is missing

Devon’s Midpoint: search leads him to alley behind church now a crime scene where nun murdered, meets Rossi—somehow also looking for Esme, no time for questions, he’ll take all the help he can get

Rossi Turning Point 2: decides to trust Devon, allows him to lead her into tunnels

ACT FOUR:

Devon’s Turning Point 2: in tunnels, faced with lethal traps set by drug dealers, Rossi has some kind of fit—but also seems to know more than she should

Ryder’s Turning Point 2: priest confirms missing girl, also second murder victim in Tower is girl’s mother

Rossi’s Dilemma: must choose whether to share symptoms with Devon—if does means admitting she’s seriously ill, if not then might lead him into danger if she gets worse

Ryder’s Dilemma: How the hell did Rossi know? Is she somehow involved in the murders? But she was in the ER, he saw how hard she worked to save nun—and he kinda likes her

Devon’s Dilemma: With Esme’s life at stake can he trust Rossi and her “visions”? But what other choice does he have?

Ryder’s Major Conflict: can’t send men down into tunnels, so goes himself, almost killed by traps

ACT FIVE:

Rossi’s Major Conflict: new powers lead her to serial killer’s lair—but no Esme, is she too late?

Devon’s Major Conflict: Rossi doesn’t lead him to Esme but to a serial killer’s lair–does the killer have her? Is he too late?

Ryder’s Ending: somehow Rossi and girl’s father find a serial killer’s lair—are they involved? Can he trust them? What about the missing girl?

Devon’s Ending: will do anything to find Esme even if means taking on a serial killer

Rossi’s Ending: whatever’s wrong with her it’s bad—and somehow maybe “good” because led her to killer’s victims

[Lloyd Shellenberger]

Module 3 Lesson

Working hard every day to become the best writer I can be and as a result I do become the best writer in Hollywood.

What I learned from this assignment: This is a giant puzzle that I need to assemble piece by piece.

BENJAMIN GREENE PILOT FIRST DRAFT OUTLINE:

Episode one:

TEASER:

Col. Greene and his men are ambushed in Afghanistan while on a top-secret drug interdiction mission.

Turning Point: Reese and his men return with the money and drug they seized in Afghanistan. The allure of cold hard cash is hard to deny.

ACT ONE:

Col. Greene beginning: Working in Ft. Bragg office he must stop First Sergeant Desmoine from shooting a process server.

Desmoines beginning: We reveal he is going through a divorce and he’s broke. Col. Greene has influence over him.

Lt. Greene’s beginning: Lt. Greene is the unit IO officer and his father’s conscience.

Act One/Col. Greene’s Turning Point: The woman he is with is killed by the Puzzle Works. He is forced to work for the Puzzle Works or they kill his son.

ACT TWO:

Lt. Greene’s Turning Point: He returns to the office the next day to discover orders and black bag money with his father.

Desmoine’s Midpoint: While counting the money he realizes his financial problems may be solved.

Lt. Greene’s Turning Point: He wants to do the Afghanistan mission to prove to his father he can handle it. He doesn’t yet realize this involves murder and deceit.

ACT THREE:

Col Greene’s Midpoint: He boards the C-150, committing to the mission. Once he does, he can never go back.

Lt. Greene’s Midpoint: Once Greene has accepted the mission, his military career may be in jeopardy, but the money is too much to walk away from.

<font face=”inherit”>Desmoine’s Turning Point 2: He understands that once he boards the plane with the crew his military career and retirement are in </font>jeopardy<font face=”inherit”> as well, but he commits to it also. </font>

ACT FOUR:

Col. Greene’s Turning Point 2: By killing the soldiers and Afghan farmers Greene has stepped over a line of no return.

Lt. Greene’s Turning Point 2: Stealing the money and drugs during the raid in Afghanistan is the point of no return.

Desmoine’s Dilemma: Stealing the money and drugs during the raid in Afghanistan is the point of no return. He despises drugs and dealers.

Col. Greene’s Dilemma: He must protect his son from the Puzzle Works and break a promise to his dead wife. Is he back in the game?

Lt. Greene’s Dilemma: By agreeing to this new lifestyle, he understands the military, his father and everything around him will change. Does he want that or just a military retirement. This mission almost killed him and his father.

Col. Greene’s Major Conflict: can’t provide deniability for his son and protect him. The missions and dangerous and illegal often times.

ACT FIVE:

Col. Greene’s Major Conflict: Realizes the traitor who sold him out is none other that an old friend General Mosely who he must now kill.

Lt. Greene’s Major Conflict: He doesn’t want his father to kill Mosely but he realizes he has no choice. He also cannot resist the money and power that drugs bring.

Desmoines Major Conflict: He must decide to betray Col. Greene by taking the drugs from Afghanistan and selling them or destroying them.

Col. Greene’s Ending: Col. Greene must now shatter and destroy old alliances and create new ones that fit into this new world. Can he?

Lt. Greene’s Ending: He has decided to pursue the drugs and cash the illegal drug trade offers behind his father’s back with Desmoine’s.

Desmoine’s Ending: A man facing bankruptcy and ruin must now sell drugs and steal money with Lt. Greene behind Col. Greene’s back. This is everything he is not.

Working on Episode 2 Outline.