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Lesson 4 Assignments
Reply to post your assignments.
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14 Replies
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Farrin Rosenthal Solved Scene Problems!
Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.
What I learned doing this assignment is to solve scene problems. These can be scenes that lack enough conflict or are not interesting. Or might not advance the story.
It’s funny, during Hal’s last two Saturday calls, I had breakthroughs while he was explaining the lessons. Both times, the answer came to me as Hal spoke. Thank you, Hal!
Your voice puts us all in a zen state, and we just blossom with creativity.
For this lesson, I found one scene that was lacking in enough interest. It actually had the right elements, but I had put them in the wrong place in the scene.
It’s all about timing, when something happens in a scene. Comedy, drama, scares, and thrills all need perfect timing to be the most effective they can be.
I moved one action from an earlier part of the scene to a later part (where it created the most drama) and that made all the difference. Timing, I tells ya!
My scenes are looking pretty good so far. I know my characters and dialogue need work, so I’m looking forward to the next lessons!
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I agree with Farrin and want to say, “Thank you so much, Hal.”
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Jeffrey Alan Chase Solved Scene Problems
My vision: I am an “A” list writer who is known for high concept ideas, great execution, a string of successful movies and is always ready to share his knowledge and do what he can to help another writer on the way up.
Look through your script and identify any scenes that have any of these problems.
Basic scene design.
Situations don’t challenge
characters.
Uninteresting scenes.
Scenes that don’t advance the
story.
Scene accomplishes only one
purpose.
Exposition filled scenes.
When do I reveal what?
Cliché scenes and action.What I learned from doing this assignment is: I’m sorry to say that I found – and am still finding – examples of all of the above. I have fixed most and am in the middle of my current draft and will fix the rest. Great exercise to go back and elevate every single scene wherever possible. Sometimes all that needs to be done is use a different verb or slightly different phrasing. Really excited about this script.
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Rebecca Solved Scene Problems!
Vision: My vision for my success from this program is to be the go-to writer for producers looking for incredible scripts for successful movies enjoyed by a vast viewing audience.
What I learned from this assignment is that by comparing the scene to the solution grid illuminated scenes that needed work. I also learned that the deeper I got into the script, the problem scenes stuck out as they ruined the flow of the story. The solution grid suggested ways to brainstorm a solution and doing that concern morphed into energy.
Uninteresting Scene: I either eliminated it, added conflict, or combined the information into a more interesting scene.
Situations don’t challenge characters: I replaced a supporting character with the protagonist, and the essence of the scene changed into a challenge for the characters changing an uninteresting scene into something more exciting.
Scenes that don’t advance the story: I eliminated the scenes. I needed to shorten the page count.
Scene accomplishes only one purpose: Added subtext, merged it with another scene, or added an element that delivered on character.
Exposition filled scenes: I superimposed dialog over action as a flashback, added conflict, or eliminated redundant dialog.
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Tracy solved scene problems!
I will do whatever it takes to become a successful author and screenwriter with multiple screenplays produced.
In Act 2, I found a way to foreshadow Anna’s wound, as well as a way to elevate her reaction to the circumstances that trigger her wound.
I was able to trim a few scenes of unnecessary lines and exposition.
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VISION:
I want to be a great award-winning writer, known for my genre, who creates the most beautiful films that inspire others to feel deeply, pause, and ponder ways to make the world a better place as I make happy money to continue my career.
The Nun and The Witch genre: Mystical Sci-fi
I think there are a few scenes I wish to ponder. What I struggled with is when a scene follows an intense one and is followed by “life goes on elsewhere,” I was not sure if it flowed and could possibly be jolting or if just kept the tension going. I might have to wait until we exchange to find that out.
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Andrew Kelm Solved Scene Problems!
Vision: I am going to do whatever it takes to be a great writer of TV and movies who is sought after by people I respect within the industry and has multiple successful TV series produced.
What I learned doing this assignment is… I found some unexpected ways to clarify the action by looking at everything from so many different angles. Sequence of reveals especially — I found a few pivotal places where what was being revealed was not as clear as it should be and was able to enhance them. And again — I think that because we paid so much attention to the outline, there were less problems for me to find at this stage. It was great to be working on top of a skeleton that I trust and believe in.
1. Basic scene design — This one took me a long time but was really useful! It helped me clarify beats and make sure scenes were accomplishing waht they were supposed to.
2. Challenge characters — found ways to intensify character interactions
3. Interest Techniques — I went through and identified more than one interest technique for every scene; didn’t make any changes
4. Scenes advance the story — I think all the scenes are necessary… There is part of a scene in act 1 that is kind of questionable but I do think it contributes. I shortened it though… It may be something that could ultimately be shortened more for the sake of the rhythm but I didn’t want to hack away at it too much at this point.
5. More than one purpose — I think all my scenes are operating on at least two levels… I didn’t change anything.
6. I think the exposition is integrated pretty well — I didn’t change anything
7. Reveals — genuinely the most fun part of this exercise. I went through the details of all setup/reveal chains, which really helped me understand the sequence and I think will be useful as a reference as we move forward.
- I found what I think is a great first line to set up the ending.
- Made intrigue reveals sharper in two places.
8. Cliches… I’m not good at this one. I might be too much in the mode of wanting to defend my choices… But I flagged a few places to mull over for future.
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Amechi’s Solved Scene Problems!
What I’ve learned from doing this assignment is to just keep improving and not worry about quality. I stalled a little bit by having too high expectations but refocused, empowered myself, and got through the assignment.
MY VISION
I am going to be in the top 1% of action/comedy writers in the industry who writes major action films.My main focus became 5. Scene accomplishes only one purpose and 8. Cliche scenes and action. My goal is to make sure I do that process over and over throughout to make sure I eliminate as many cliches as I can.
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ASSIGNMENT 6.4
Jack P Solved Scene Problems!
MY VISION: I will do whatever it takes to write a produced script that is recognized by the industry and leads to multiple produced movies and tv shows.
WHAT I LEARNED: I went through the script scene-by-scene and rewrote several that were not up to the standards of the Problem/Solution grid. I also eliminated several unnecessary scenes and reordered one critical scene sequence to improve the arc of the sequence.
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John T’s Solved Scene Problems
Vision: become a reliable box office success and entertain audiences all over the world.
What I learned doing this assignment is that by going through eace scene asking the 8 questions, and using the problem solving grid, ideas to improve emerge. Magic!
Scene 4: Phil slashes his instructor!
Scene 6: Megan services Phi while he’s passed out.
Scene 7: Megan embarrasses Phil with overboard affection.
Scene 13: Louise hides a manipulative smile.
Scene 17: Added scene to intro Ben’s character, goals.
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Sandra Solved Scene Problems
Vision: I am doing what I love to do as a writer with several successful produced movies.
What I learned doing this assignment is that the Index is a great tool for finding problems in each of the draft scenes, and then brainstorming solutions to improve the scenes.
Problem/Solution:
Uninteresting Scene/Doesn’t Advance the Story: Cab ride scene deleted.
Doesn’t Advance the Story: Deleted the protagonist’s birthday party scene.
When to Reveal What: 1. Death of the protagonist’s mother changed to include the reveal of her secret lover. 2. Bank scene with the protagonist and antagonist – added a reveal of the antagonist’s family life.
Exposition Scenes that Could Be Action or Reveal Scenes: 1. Added protagonist fixing dinner and feeding his children while discussing buying a ship with the antagonist. 2. Added protagonist fixing a leaky kitchen sink while talking to an old friend.
Cliché Scenes: Pondering whether a blind date scene is cliché and how to change it and add more action.
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Leona Heraty Solved Scene Problems!
My Vision: To be the best family comedy screenwriter in the industry where my screenplays are produced into fabulous movies, making audiences laugh a lot and making me independently wealthy!
What I learned from doing this assignment is…using the Problem/Solution Grid Scenes tool really works! I found a lot of cliché scenes with cliché dialogue and boring scenes and scene that didn’t challenge Tara, the protagonist.
Title: Tara vs. the Termo-Lytes
Genre: Comedy (Sci-fi)
Concept #2: A lost teenage tour guide who’s petrified of bugs must lead her tour group in a battle against mutant killer termites at an abandoned country club.
3. For any scene problems you find, make the prescribed improvements according to this Problem/Solution Grid.Here are some of the problems and solutions I made to my Second Draft:
Act 1, Scene 1. Basic Scene Design.
Problem: Needs stronger conflict.
Solution: Add that a pile of wood falls on Big Betty and covers her and she struggles to get out from under the pile, then she grows to three feet tall.Problem: Not entertaining
Solution: After Big Betty grows to three feet tall, she puts on lots of makeup and blingey jewelry and pats her bright neon huge beehive hairdo and says, “Who says Termo-Lytes can’t look good and live their best life?” Then the Termo-Lytes bow before her and HUM loudly and Big Betty says “I look fan-tab-u-lous.”Act 1, Scene 2. Uninteresting Scenes
Problem: Not exciting enough.
Solution: When Tara climbs the tree, have the branch break and she almost falls.Act 1, Scene 4: Situations Don’t Challenge Characters & Uninteresting Scenes
Problem: Tara isn’t challenge by the scene
Solution: Add intrigue and set-up/payoff. Add a flyer on the table by the food. The flyer is about the garden tour with a list of tour groups and the driver for each group. On one group, Tara’s name is listed with a question mark and it’s circled in red ink. Add intrigue by having Tara’s Dad, Kent, fold up the flyer and put it in his pocket before Tara’s sees it.Problem: Characters are boring and generic.
Solution: Add Interest Techniques. Tara’s Mom is now a former professional surfer and owns a surf shop. Tara’s Dad is now baker who owns a cupcake shop and he wears a t-shirt that says Kent’s Cupcake Shop. Tara’s best friends, Max and Clare wear Mickey Mouse ears. This shows they love -
KRISTIN Solved Scene Problems!
VISION: “I want the personal, professional, and financial freedom and joy that come from writing so well that I’m in demand, selling beyond my wildest dreams, and making worthy projects—on a big scale and with my active, collegial participation.”
WHAT I LEARNED: Having realized during the Career Launch program that I had been “side-stepping” some key elements in my story, I had to go back and rework the structure. Once I did that, then I was able to get to the scene level. Re: evaluating for this grid, there were several places where I was happy that at least SOMETHING was still working, but I did find many places to fix.
Basic scene design — Sometimes I had just focused on “getting X done.” It’s a much better situation to get X done in a great way. I found that a lot of these enhancements happened when I was doing something else. I’d have to run back to the computer and rewrite.
Situations don’t challenge characters — I did find sometimes that I was giving some of my characters a “pass,” or the easy way out of a scene.
Uninteresting scenes — This was a toughie. I usually think of scenes like this as just functional—so reconsidering how to make something functional into something awesome revealed some unexpected story breatkthroughs.
Scenes that don’t advance the story — This wasn’t as much of a problem as whether they were interesting.
Scene accomplishes only one purpose — Also a key place for breakthroughs, where something can hit on more than one element (and it doesn’t have to just be a major turning point).
Exposition-filled scenes — This isn’t my usual problem, but the courtroom / legal details proved challenging on this front.
When do I reveal what? — I’m still having trouble with set-ups and reveals…and I know I’ll come back again and again with this.
Cliché scenes and action — I fixed a bunch of the cliché issues in the last lesson, but I found this to be an easy place to cheat. Always good to keep an eye out!!
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Lori Solved Scene Problems
Vision: I want to be a professional screenwriter recognized by the industry as the go-to for family-friendly scripts and have multiple successful movies produced.
What I learned is to examine and ask myself questions about each scene. The problem/solution grid is very helpful.
Look through your script and identify any scenes that have any of these problems. Once you identify them, apply the strategies to improve that part of the scene.
1. Basic scene design. The scene with the Logans taking Alex out for dinner needs to be almost a turning point when we see what Alex is capable of.
2. Situations don’t challenge characters. Alex’s wound is mentioned in the first scene, but not explored to its fullest.
3. Uninteresting scenes. The phone conversation between Claire and Alex should be scary or threatening to Claire, and create emotion for the audience.
4. Scenes that don’t advance the story.
5. Scene accomplishes only one purpose. The scene when the family watches the commercial for Housebots could also do more, like foreshadowing that a Housebot can do everything a mom does. There could be a joke here from Claire that she doesn’t want to be replaced by a robot.
6. Exposition filled scenes.
7. When do I reveal what? Alex finds a book on creating a happy marriage and “downloads” it without realizing that it’s a satirical book. I should hint at her hatching a plan to use this information to try to seduce Brad. And, I need to add a scene or two with this playing out.
8. Cliché scenes and action. When Alex takes the elevator up to Mr. Stellar’s office, she pushes all the buttons on the elevator. This action has been seen before, but it shows that Alex has an impulse control problem. Maybe I can find a fresh way to show this.
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