Lesson 5

[Nick Walsh]

Nick Walsh / Synopsis Hooks

What I learnt: Make sure you write real hooks into your story so as to make a fascinating cover letter to entice a producer.

The key to your success is to select HOOKS to tell your story through.

Take your list of 10 COM and 10 MIT for your story.Select 6 – 10 hooks that could give an overview of your story.

–The Irish version of Roots.

–Tyranny and famine in the homeland force the Irish to escape across a treacherous ocean, where half die trying, to a place that has nothing but contempt for them. Many aspects along the timeline of this diaspora have been portrayed in movies, but none followed a generational history that paints a whole canvas or tells the whole story /journey from tyranny and hunger to freedom and plenty, as lived through the adventurous life of a cunning, but good natured roguish, renaissance man seeking liberty in a world that hates him and love for a woman he can’t find.

—What appears as a soldier leading his comrades in a charge turns out to be that soldier’s armed pursuers.

—Pegasus incredulously leaps a 7-foot fence and escapes with Michael.

—An emotional departure as Michael releases his beloved Pegasus back into the wild to avoid being captured, too.

—A surreal aspect of a horse calmly grazing with a saddle hanging loosely underbelly, in the middle of the road.

—A dead priest on the road at edge of cliff.

—Michael smashes the dead priest’s face in with a rock to erase his true identity.

—Michael, an atheist, takes over the dead priest’s identity.

—A memorable image: Rose pulling on the tail of a milk cow; a repossessor pulling on the rein at other end; and a very drunk Michael intervening on his horse and getting clubbed senseless for the effort.

—Michael unwittingly hears Kathleen’s confession.

—Michael learns Rose has been murdered as he’s about to run away. He must make a fast decision: To get on his horse and ride away, chancing getting caught; or, staying to get revenge for Rose’s alleged murder, chancing getting caught.

Using those hooks as an outline, write a first draft of your synopsis.

FIRST DRAFT OF SYNOPSIS:

Title: The Rogue of Connemara

Genre: Drama

Synopsis:

The Irish version of Roots.

Tyranny and famine in the Old Sod Ireland force the Irish to emigrate across a treacherous ocean to a place that has nothing but contempt for them. Into this environment, we follow the exploits and shenanigans of a young Irishman wanted for murder, desperately seeking an escape to America. He is MICHAEL MURPHY (26), a renaissance man and atheist.

He discovers a dead priest on the road and steals his identity.

He hides in plain sight from English authorities as a charismatic parish priest and is protected by his new confidant, ROSE (50s). He becomes deeply troubled when he unwittingly hears his long-lost-lover’s confession, rekindling a desire for her. He can’t tell her he’s not a priest without implicating himself as the sacrilegious fraud he is, so a priest for now he must stay. He gets drunk and decides to leave. But just as he mounts his horse, he learns Rose has been murdered.

Then the potato crop fails. The parish looks to him for salvation What’s a wanted man craving liberty and posing as a priest to do? Be a shepherd.

xxx

[Jenna Ryan]

What I learned doing Assignment #5 (via email) is the difference between a High Concept and Elevator Pitch, and how to be casual (not desperate) when making an Elevator Pitch.

High Concept: Would you let your whole high school meet your awkward Asian family if it would save the school dance?

Elevator Pitch: “I’m adapting a Chicago Tribune ‘Best Book of the Year’ about an Asian refugee trying to survive American high school in the awesome 80’s.”

(maybe then they’ll ask “which book?” and start a conversation about STEALING BUDDHA’S DINNER)

[Joan Beesley]

Joan Beesley: High Concept/Elevator Pitch

What I learned from Lesson 5: Less is more. How to distill my work and make it more succinct and marketable. How to bait the hook.

High Concept:

You survived the Irish Famine, Tammany Hall, salvaged destroyers and submarines, so, teaching your sons the art of the deal is easy-peasy, right?

Elevator Pitch:

40 Shades of Green: The Junkman of Brooklyn, is based on my book about the rise and fall of a Brooklyn scrap metal empire based on the complex Irish father/son relationship.

[Joan Beesley]

Begorrah. Looks like we have 3 Irish scripts goin’ here!

[Aurora AURORA Harris HARRIS]

Assignment #5 Aurora’s High Concept/Elevator Pitch

High Concept Pitches:

1. A loyal Centurion becomes the Insurrectionist he was sent to kill.

2. Telling it as:

· Dilemma- What does a warrior who prides himself on loyalty do when he realizes he is drawn to join the enemy camp?

· Main Conflict- What happens when the assassin joins the opposing side?

· High stakes-Who can defend the Empire from a powerful Insurrectionist when even its most loyal Centurion is persuaded to join the other side?

· Goal/Unique Opposition-Can the Roman Empire survive when even its most uniquely qualified defender is persuaded to join the Insurrection?

3. Elevator Pitch: I’m working on a series about a loyal Centurion who is betrayed and falsely accused of rebellion against the Roman Empire, so switches allegiance to the Insurrectionist he was sent to assassinate.

4. I learned there are so many different ways to pitch the same story, and shorter versions are crisper, more palatable and make people want to hear more.

[Richard Senne]

Richard Senne’s High Concept/Elevator Pitch

What I learned doing this assignment is… hooks are important and the hooks are there. It will be easier to find the best way to pitch when you distill everything down to a bullet point. Pitching requires you to spend little time and get the most interest possible. I have to do that by getting to the hook that works best.

1. To find your main hook, tell us what the big picture explanation of your lead character’s journey is.

Jessica learns to live as a civilian while being stalked by a violent international terrorist?

2, How can you tell it in the most interesting way possible?

· Main Conflict

We’ve all heard of women getting stalked, but what happens if the stalker is a psychopathic terrorist?

· Goal/Unique Opposition

How would a super soldier react to being stalked by a violent international terrorist?

2. Using the 10 Components of Marketability, what is your Elevator Pitch?

I’m finishing up a story that answers the question, how would a super soldier react to being stalked by a violent international terrorist?