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Lesson 5
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ASSIGNMENT #5
Caitlin Stryker’s 4 Act Transformational Structure: What I learned doing this assignment is that if I just put something down when I feel stuck and keep moving then I get somewhere.
Create a first draft of your 4 Act Transformational Structure.
1. Give us the following:
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Concept: Carla is pulled out of her depression by her old best friend Harriet, who happens to be imaginary.
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Main Conflict: Carla is stuck in her life. She has to find a job and she doesn’t have the self-confidence to put herself out there. Harriet comes along and helps Carla to see how great she is and to feel better about herself, this friendship is improving Carla’s life across the board and then it is discovered that Harriet is imaginary. So now Carla appears crazy, but she doesn’t want to let go of Harriet.
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Old Ways: waiting for a miracle/lottery ticket; never finishing what she starts; negative self talk; not wanting to stand out; hiding herself; staying home doing housework
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New Ways:creating her own successes; always following through; positive self-talk; not willing to compromise herself for the sake of others comfort
2. Fill in each of these with the answers you have right now.
Act 1:
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Opening: Carla reading Sam his bedtime story “Where the Wild Things Are”; steps on toys on the way out. Has a call with Mark who is away for work.
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Inciting Incident: Carla crying in bed at 3am totally stuck and depressed. Do we see Harriet or not at the foot of the bed? Kind of dreamlike.
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Turning Point: Bumping into Harriet on Abbott Kinney coming out of Blue Bottle
Act 2:
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New plan: Let’s get you out girl and put some color back into your life.
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Plan in action: Carla is out on the town with Harriet. She connects with The Moms from Sam’s school.
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Midpoint Turning Point: Harriet comes over for dinner. Carla finds out that Harriet is imaginary. Carla covers that Harriet is imaginary by making it look like she just didn’t show.
Act 3:
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Rethink everything: Carla asks Harriet why she left in middle school. Carla wonders if she’s crazy, but decides she is not and that Harriet is her superpower.
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New plan: Use me to help you get unstuck. Everyone needs help and I can help you build your business and yourself.
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Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: Viral video of things too wild out on the town and Carla looking crazy talking to herself and winding up in the drunk tank. Harriet reveals to Carla that she wishes she were real and how lucky Carla is to be human.
Act 4:
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Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Mark wants to commit Carla, unless she gives up Harriet.
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Resolution: Everyone realizes, especially Mark, that Harriet is an important part of Carla.
3. Once you have created the 4-Act Structure for your Protagonist, go back over it to see if there is any big picture points you need to add to represent your Antagonist.
4. Answer the question “What I learned doing this assignment is…?” and put it at the top of your work.
What I learned doing this assignment is that if I just put something down when I feel stuck and keep moving then I get somewhere.
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I loved the mild suspense of a depressed individual but then coming through out of the darkness and you get a real sense that she’s transformed ! This has real potential once you keep digging into that character and how she became depressed I know you will find out more soon!
Good job,
Michael.
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SUBJECT: Mark Napier’s 4 Act Transformational Structure
What did I learn from this assignment? I apparently just learned how to put a ‘Treatment’ together using the Four Act Transformational Structure that pretty much sums up the project I would propose. I had previously written a Treatment, but this exercise created a better end product than what I found out on the internet.
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Give us the following:
-Concept: When a CIA Whistleblower becomes a victim of injustice, he is left chronically homeless and forced to become an abandonment of self to survive, while fighting to restore honor over strong desires for suicide.
-Main Conflict: A protagonist’s report of a mismanaged investigation reveals a crime involving child pornography on two CIA Top Secret computers. Egos are bruised by embarrassed senior CIA officials who botched the investigation and decided to turn ‘the system’ against the protagonist.
-Old Ways: Others and country first (military values), does not trust his own gut instinct, helpless (when ambushed), not assertive, and follows rules/orders without questioning.
-New Ways: Take care of #1 (me, myself and I), trust his own gut instinct, perseverance and fortitude, assertive, and make own rules (question everything)
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Fill in each of these answers you have right now.
ACT 1.
-Opening: Protagonist who has served 16 years with the CIA agrees to a one year tour in Iraq. Soon he finds himself with Station’s Chief of Security flying on a CIA clandestine helicopter after midnight from Baghdad to Tikrit, Iraq. The protagonist has already survived one near mid air disaster in Iraq during the day, let alone does he want another mishap at night. However, The protagonist follows his orders without question from the ‘Acting’ Chief of Station. His mission is to disarm, secure and escort a staff employee to the flight line for expulsion from the country for allegedly threatening a contractor with a knife during an argument. At the flight line the employee pleads with the protagonist to call the home office at CIA Headquarters in McClean, Virginia to find out the details of what he reported.
-Inciting Incident: The protagonist learns that the employee was chewing ass on the contractor for downloading child pornography onto two CIA Top Secret computers. The protagonist returns to Station to a short lived Hero’s welcome to write a cable back to CIA Headquarters of the egregious mistake by Station that jumped to conclusions in a half ass investigation. The protagonist also reveals to Station that the contractor in question has a documented history involving child porn, but that CIA chooses not to prosecute.
-Turning Point #1: Iraq Station COS and D/COS were out of country at the time of the incident, but a hostile work environment was already being fostered against the protagonist. The protagonist had previously revealed through a senior DCI representative visit that CIA and Station lacked the interest or effort to support US military conventional Warfighters on the ground and basically were just going through the motions. This caused friction. Tossing in the latest report the protagonist predicted that the tempers of Station will “blow the shit house door off a tuna boat.’ Hence, he is done for and decides to cut his one year tour short as he is not interested in enduring further hostilities. He leaves Iraq three months into the tour without a word.
ACT 2.
-New Plan: The protagonist reports back to CIA Headquarters to brief Office of Security
Investigators who nod in agreement that a retaliation is anticipated as its the cultural
norm of the Agency. The protagonist agrees to be redeployed back into the Combat Zone to serve as the CIA’s Deputy Chief of Base of Bagram, Afghanistan to support countrywide counterterrorism operations for 17 months.
The protagonist has many memorable moments that included being directed to stay behind with nine others to defend Station while hundreds of personnel were evacuated to Kabul airfield during anticipated civil unrest, coordinating with the US Secret Service for the Presidential visit of George Bush, telling the DoD Liaison Officer for Presidential Visit to get lost when he tried to toss his title around, rendering the Silent Salute to 23 Fallen Heroes–including SFC Travis Nixon who had special meaning to the protagonist, hearing from the Presidential Surgeon on what really transpired when Dick Cheyney accidentally shot his hunting partner, to comforting a 14 year old boy that had 3 limbs blown off at a CIA firing range in Asadabad, to being accidentally exposed to radioactive material for nearly 3 hours from 12 crates of Mig Fighter air-to-air missile that were retrieved from an Afghan warlord.
The protagonist facilitated the recovery of Stinger missile and British Blowpipe surface to air missile components, and discovery the US military was have radar systems to Apache Hellfire missiles being stolen as they were shipped through Pakistan into country. The protagonist recalls his second near mid air disaster involving an exploding engine and a hard crash landing for the J-Lo flight, as well as a disaster relief flight for earthquake victims where the Bagram air traffic control tower in error directed the Russian made cargo aircraft to flow inside the mountain range where it met its fate slamming into the mountain side just above an Afghan village.
The antagonists as expected try two attempts to retaliate against the protagonist
during his tour. The first attempt came as an influence operation by the antagonists to try and get the protagonist’s home office to fire him. The second attempt came when the antagonists tried to accuse the protagonist of overcharging the Agency $14,000–a felony had it been true. Security investigators never bother to question, investigate, charge, nor prosecute and pretty much ignored the allegation. However, the protagonist was not assertive and should have put his foot down. Instead, the protagonist ignored the accusation and continued to focus on the Counterterrorism mission. This decision proved to be fatal later on.
-Plan in Action: The protagonist completes his tour and is reassigned two plus years
(including 3 months in Kabul) along the Afghan/Pak border at Falcon Base north of Naray village to carry out the Counterterrorism mission of psychological warfare and hiding the hand of the US Government. The protagonist has found his calling and has many successes. His most memorable moments include facilitating the defection of 14 Taliban commanders, two suicide bombers and 120 fighting age males. He decreased combat effectiveness of the Taliban, insurgent and Al Qaeda forces that saved American soldiers’ lives. He uncovered a Counterintelligence security issue at Station that involved a very prominent asset that was clandestinely meeting with a hostile foreign intelligence service who was responsible for shooting down a US military aircraft in the 90s.
The protagonist with 2 weeks on the ground cleaned up a Navy S.E.A.L. operation that not only went bad, but kicked off a blood feud forcing the protagonist to jump through his ass to conduct a night letter operation that made it look like the Al Qaeda facilitator was trying to defect, forcing him to flee in terror. The protagonist put a stop to two additional missions trying to kill that Al Qaeda facilitator because the Navy S.E.A.L.s were mistaking the terrorist brother for the target.
The protagonist carried out successful sabotage operations targeting key nodes used by the terrorists to support supply chains and their ingress and egress into Falcon Base’s sphere of influence. Additionally, the protagonist targeted refugee camps on the Pakistan side of the border to undermine recruitment efforts for suicide bombers.
A visit sponsored by Falcon base’s Navy S.E.A.L.s of the new Afghan CJSOTF commander–a lieutenant general–highlights protagonist’s presence as a reputable operator in the region to solicit military assistance in setting up counter-ambushes to undermine terrorists’ efforts who are attacking US Military and CIA supply lines. The base’s Case Officers’ are infuriated when they are not addressed during the meeting and begin to undermine protagonist’s assets and credibility.The results of the protagonist’s initiative result in killing over 100 terrorists. The protagonist then planted seeds of betrayal in his meeting with the village elders thanking those who alerted our forces to set up the counterambushes that resulted in distrust amongst the villages and the terrorist transiting the area fearing an ambush.
The protagonist also made an effort to acquire mortars and other explosives to prevent their use in IEDs. The protagonist was Falcon Base’s lead representative in dealing with political figures, law enforcement, villager, shuras, jirgas and tribesmen and used this opportunity to acquire agents of influence and access.
The protagonist even got to brief a Democrat Congressional Delegation to the base for 1 hour briefings each from base officers. Upon asking the protagonist: “What makes your operations so successful?” The protagonists simply replied: “I took a page out of former President Bill Clinton’s Democratic rule book where he once said…When selling foreign and domestic policies to the American people, I would rather have a pinch full of convincing lies than a handful of truth!” With that the representative laughed and thanked the protagonist for the briefing that lasted 30 seconds.
During the protagonist’s two plus years along the border, he survived rockets, mortars, and an IED attempt, but the most effective weapon was from the antagonists who wielded their title, positions and authority like a weapon of mass destruction. A few months before the protagonist’s tour was to end, the antagonist from Iraq arrives at the base for briefings and introduces himself as the new Chief of Station. As the protagonist’s time drew to a close two months out, suddenly he experienced a catastrophic failure of all of his assets who were identified by Headquarters to be untrustworthy, despite program verifications, some being polygraphed and two owing their lives to the protagonist. Soon after a hostile work environment began to ensue targeting the protagonist. The protagonist did not want to believe his instincts that something was amiss and continued to not assert himself because he was an independent contractor and followed the rules.
-Midpoint Turning Point #2: After the tour, the protagonist took a 4 month R&R before he
was scheduled to return to Afghanistan. The protagonist arrived at Headquarters and
spent 3 days for mission preparations. It was not until the last day that his home office
advised him that they were not prepared to send him down range after all and that they
were closing down that PSYOP program at Falcon Base and that the protagonist would
be redirected elsewhere in country, but in the meantime he should return home to
Florida. The protagonist had a very bad deep down gut feeling that something was
terribly wrong, particularly after he had seen the antagonist in the Agency cafeteria, but
he refused to accept what his instincts were telling him. The protagonist was asked for his passport and told that an upcoming assignment was pending and sent on his way.
After checking in his luggage at Washington-Dulles International Airport where the CIA
has a colocated facility that was widely known to support the War on Terror, the protagonist flew back to his home state, but his gear and 4 years of tax information that were a treasure trove for identity theft had simply disappeared. It would take a week before the protagonist would learn that his luggage was stolen. Another three weeks would pass before the protagonist reached out to his home office who continued to conduct delay tactics before the protagonist had finally realized that he was being Blacklisted. Shock and surprise overwhelmed him and he felt helpless, but as he started to regroup hoping for the best he was trying to see what course of action he should take.
Suddenly the protagonist started to fall ill. As time went on the illness got worse and he
dismissed it as mononucleosis brought on by stress. He had it twice before, but this time
it lasted 5 months and this time, unbeknownst to him, it was not mono. The protagonist
decided to go back on active duty for his Army Reserve unit and had to do a physical.
Two more months would pass before his unit surgeon would call screaming at him over
the phone that he had contracted HIV and would be medically discharged.
ACT 3.
-Rethink Everything: Shocked, protagonist grabs a 44 magnum and tries to commit
suicide, but fails as the chambers are empty. Soon severe depression, shock, and PTSD
take root as protagonist feels the full weight of the world crashing down on him as
protagonist rapidly loses the trust of most family, friends, colleagues and a nation that
turns away because of the stigma and false ruse only to discard and forget protagonist’s
existence. The Army eventually flies protagonist to Camden, New Jersey and forces
protagonist to road march to Ft Dix, New Jersey 32 miles away. Before they would pick
him up at the airport. Once protagonist arrives at the base at 1:30 am, protagonist is
forced to try and sleep on a park bench, but spends his night contemplating suicide by
hanging. Protagonist feels his country has figuratively handed him an epitaph that reads:
“For Outstanding Service and Loyalty to Country
Stigmatized and Slandered
Betrayed and Dishonored
Impoverished and Homeless
Discarded and Forgotten
Blacklisted by a Grateful Nation”
-New Plan: Despite protagonist’s desperate search for employment, jobs are
non-existent during the Great Recession of 2009. Perspective employers seek to send the protagonist back to the CIA where he has been Blacklisted. Others tell the protagonist that he has so much experience that they cannot afford him. Soon, the protagonist sees all his work for nearly 30 years start to fade as he loses his home, furnishings and money. As a final straw, the Internal Revenue Service takes the protagonist’s last $600 and forces him into the streets penniless. Nowhere to turn, the protagonist is forced to pursue the profession of a stripper at Gay bars for the sake of survival for him and his companion dog (Sheila – a one year old 8 lb miniature pinscher).
-Turning Point #3: Huge failure / Major shift: Protagonist’s only hope is to turn his tragedy
into an opportunity for success by exploiting the fact he looks 12 years younger than he is, that he has core strength (in comparison to the “Twinkies” half his age) enabling him to perform hard stunts on free spinning and stationary poles. Protagonist, too, has global experience that enables him to engage customers beyond the typical Twinky conversation…”I’m Aries, what’s your sign?” As time goes on, however, the protagonist dissolves into further depression as he becomes an ‘abandonment of self’ joining the ranks of the “Walking Dead” (675,000 homeless) who are forced into the streets following the recession. Not just bankrupt financially, the protagonist is bankrupt physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. Protagonist will pursue four attempts to commit suicide to remove his pain as a complete failure in life.
During the four years as a stripper, the much younger dancers (30% who are homeless)
seek protagonist’s protection from sex traffickers, desperate women, and porn directors
who seek to exploit them. Not a day goes by that protagonist seeks to commit suicide
and on two additional occasions during his time on the streets he nearly succeeds, but
there always seems to be a glimmer of hope. It is not until protagonist’s 4th year on the
streets that he engages in the use of crystal meth (tina) to escape the Hell he is in.
ACT 4.
-Climax /Ultimate Expression of the conflict: However, protagonist decides to pull himself
off the drug at the end of his fourth year and moves to Colorado where he lives off the land he owns for a year like a mountain man. Protagonist befriends a man in 2011 who is a fellow veteran and guides the protagonist into the Veterans Affairs network for assistance. Both over time become great true friends and the protagonist proceeds to sum up to friend his circumstances as simply…
”In life, most of us like to get kissed before we get F###ed! I just got F###ed! Not even a draw off the cigarette was offered.”
-Resolution: After a year of living off the land in Colorado, including being subjected to
minus 22 degrees (F) below zero and even experiencing two UFO sightings of interest that caught the attention of the now new Pentagon AARO office in Washington, protagonist moves back to Fort Lauderdale, Florida in 2014. Protagonist would then meet his second dearest friend who gave him someone to love and care for the last four months on the streets. Protagonist is lucky to rent a small studio on an estate formerly owned by the gangster Al Capone. Now an elderly woman who resides at the former ‘Speakeasy’ house lives out her final years to the age of 96 in 2016. The protagonist’s role is to simply provide security for her peace of mind, but for the protagonist’s mindset he does more to take care of the estate itself. As it turns out the woman is Countess and related to the last king of Poland. Her son is a former arms dealer and currently works for U.S. Homeland Security setting up sting operations.
After the Countess’ death, the protagonist would be asked to remain in the service of the
family to assist the niece (Isabelle Harrison) until her death in 2023. Isabelle, Bill and
Ricky would prove to be the three pillars that help the protagonist restore his self esteem
over a period of 7 years. The protagonist begins to open up more and pursues a letter writing campaign to no avail.
Despite the protagonist’s efforts to seek justice by contesting the CIA’s action in 2009,
2010, 2012, and 2015, protagonist once again begins a more aggressive campaign in 2021, but is again ignored by the Agency. However, this time the protagonist targets 80 plus members of Congress including his own representatives, thirteen Congressional Committees, the Director of National Intelligence, and the White House Office of Special Counsel which draws the attention of the DNI who responds that they have taken the information under advisement. The protagonist efforts apparently lights a fire under the CIA who behind closed doors looks into the protagonist’s report that has been so widely dispersed. Worse yet, the CIA learns of the protagonist’s intent to run for US Congress and his press releases published in Washington are placing the Agency in a negative spotlight. In addition, the protagonist is in contact with an independent reporter (Andrei Tapalaga) who pursued a 10 year endeavor to force the Agency before a Washington, District of Columbia Federal Judge to disclose that the Agency has not prosecuted 9 out of 10 Child Pornography cases it chose to disclose because of their access to sensitive material. Ironically, the protagonist’s case is not one of the cases released, suggesting the CIA deliberately blew off the federal judge and that the organization will only disclose what it desires is in its best interest. The public revelation of the news is an embarrassment coupled with the protagonist’s mass mailings that forces the hand of the CIA to change policy.
Protagonist becomes the first candidate in U.S. history to qualify for office using “In-Kind” contributions, a feat that even the Office of General Counsel for the Federal Elections Commission is intrigued to be asked such a question. The protagonist’s campaign was about representing the ‘Discarded and Forgotten’ as a real Independent candidate for Florida District 23. Unfortunately, the protagonist’s real world national level experience and homelessness proved to be a great threat to the Democrat candidate, so much so that the liberal media in South Florida goes out of their way to suppress his campaign from the public. Nonetheless, the protagonist clandestinely succeeds in changing CIA policy in holding employees and contractors engaged in child pornography accountable.
As for the antagonist, the protagonist still daydreams of vengeance to this day of using the Crusades method of the ‘Vertical Impalement’ on the antagonist for street justice.
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Once you have created your 4 Act Structure for your Protagonist, go back over it to see if there are any ‘BIG PICTURE POINTS’ you need to add to represent your Antagonist.
This being a real life story, the gap of holding the antagonist accountable and creating bigger picture points is only going to occur, if the aspect of turning a real life story into a fictional plot of using the ‘dream’ where the protagonist kills the antagonist or makes him look like a major ass in the public eye forcing Congress to have hearings.
-The Big Picture Points need to address the antagonist’s moment of being real pissed as he was after the 9/11 attacks and treating the protagonist as if he were one of the prisoners of war left to die in the desert as the antagonist was aware of.
-Addressing the antagonist fabricating a ‘felony’ ruse in collaboration with COS Iraq and the cell directly under him is another point to address and expand.
-Expanding on the antagonist discovery that the protagonist is alive and well in Afghanistan that kicks off the hostile work environment, the catastrophic failure of all PSYOP programs, theft of luggage and Blacklisting can be expanded.
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Great intrigue and the suicide scene 🎬 that luckily didn’t happen really grabbed me ! Good work. I found this assignment pretty hard but it looks like you really got into it. For my sci-fi film, 🎥 I’m struggling with how the math works for SETI and NASA.
Good job ,
Michael.
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I am sorry Michael, but I am just seeing your response for the first time. It has been a year already and I have taken a lot of classes that are like training wheels for me. Thank you for your observation on my story. It happens to be based on true events. Please keep me informed on your progress. I would have thought the system would would have flagged your comment to my attention. Anyway, If I can give insight I will. Again thanks and I apologize for the late response.
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What I learned this lesson is how hard it was but I kept going with the 4 act structure
Lesson 5: Dr. Roberto Amador’s 4-Act transformational structure:
1. Concept: When Dr. Robert Amador discovers method for communicating with intelligent life in the Universe, government agents recruit him to work in secret facility for their own profit and military gains.
2. Main Conflict: Dr. Peter Rosinski wants to take Roberto’s discovery of communicating with intelligent life and us it for his own fame and wealth. He will make sure Dr. Amador is made to look like a fool and will take his discoveries and sell it to the Russians.
Dr.ROBERTO AMADOR’S OLD WAYS:
1. Old identity: meek perennial Phd. Astronomy student, always in lab studying or writing. He never takes action, he hides behind school while his colleagues move on to bigger and better things.
2. His studying has paid off and decides to go for it and present his paper at important conference, but he is unsure of himself, questions his knowledge, and lacks confidence and backbone to stand up for himself.
3. He has alcohol abuse problems and never has enough money–this has caused him to get divorced–as his wife is tired of supporting the family. His daughter still believes in him though.
ROBERTO’S NEW WAYS:
1. He’s tired of being a nerdy chump–he takes action!
2. He takes back control of project he invented from his nemesis.
3. His daughter, who’s always believed in him, sees him as a hero for humanity’s future.
4. He breaks through by communicating with extra-terrestrial life
5. His ex-wife takes him back. He’s hero to world and his family!
ACT ONE:
*Opening: Robert is at celebration party for his colleague who’s been awarded research position at start-up space travel agency in California making huge money. He’s happy for his friend but a little envious: Where is his life going? How long must he remain a PhD. student?
*inciting incident: Robert gets motivated to present his latest paper on time travel and communicating with extra-terrestrial life once he gets it published in the journal for the search for intelligent life.
*Turning point: At conference, he presents his paper but he is booed and jeered by Dr. Peter Rosinski leading the chorus of disappointment from the audience. Other scientists stand up for him but sit back down when Dr. Peter Rosinski makes his speech from audience and humiliates Robert.
at the end of lecture, US military general Portman takes the humiliated Robert back to his place. He explains to him that he liked his plausible presentation and would he like to come work in secret government facility. Robert agrees, and when he’s at the facility, he encounters the very same Dr. Rosinski who was heckling him the previous day. What is goin on here? Dr. Rosinski confesses that he had to shut him up as Robert was indeed on to something and should not expose this new discovery with the public. Dr. Rosinski bring him on to work for secret government space agency and introduce him to secret super quantum computer that can do trillions of calculations in seconds ! Never before has there been a tool for previous astronomers to help them. Robert was born for this. Finally, he’s ready to take action to do what he was born to do!
ACT TWO:
New plan: Robert and Peter work together at first combining new quantum computing and images for the James Webb Satellite Telescope to achieve their goals. They are put on waiting list to discuss time to reserve on telescope as it is “rented” by several other agencies around the world. General Portman escalates problem of borrowing the satellite in outer space by going straight to the “liberal” democratic President to influence him to convince NASA to give full time priority for one month to Dr. Robert Amador and his new research team.
Plan in Action: the President of the USA authorizes full use of James Webb telescope to Robert’s team; in return, Robert must share his new discoveries with the new administration and Department of Education and other Scientists in the USA. Robert agrees. General Portman begrudgingly agrees.
Mid-Point Turning Point: General Portman re-assigns Robert to the project; he insists Robert is the right man for the job and not his mentor Dr. Rosinski. General has confrontation with Dr. Rosinski as he has been demoted. The Satellite is now connected to the James Webb telescope! Images of outer space come in ! We’ve never seen anything like it. We get a lecture for Dr. Robert about what’s happening and what are “tactic” will be and what direction to aim Satellite. Robert and Peter have a big fight! Robert agrees to let Peter point the satellite in the direction he wants. At first images and computer start making correct calculations and the previous images that have downloaded overwhelm the computer: An explosion and fire follow. The computer physically melts! It’s too much power/information for it to handle. Robert is blamed for melt down. The President screams at General Portman for letting a young Professor take charge of such a large responsibility. Robert is blamed for accidental meltdown and humiliated by the President. Roberts demise is seen on television , the newspapers. His family sees how he “ruined his one chance” at fame and respect. THE PROJECT IS SHUTDOWN ON ORDERS OF THE PRESIDENT.
ACT THREE
Rethink Everything: Dr. Rosinski consoles Robert. He reprimands him in an underhanded way and blames him for the disaster. Robert agrees that should the project get a second chance that he, meaning Dr. Rosinski will be in charge. He also tells our Protagonist Robert that he will look for outside resources to help fund the project and repair the damage to quantum computer.
New Plan: To his surprise, Robert sees his colleague, which got promoted at the beginning of the story, will now be working directly under Peter. Robert has now been demoted behind Sarah and Peter. This is horrible. He’s now practically an intern again with a stipend. They go back to the drawing board to fix and launch their project with private finding unbeknownst to the President. (here i don’t know what to do with general portman–perhaps he’s been forced out of the loop as it’s no longer a government /department of defense project.).
Turning Point: Huge Failure/Major Shift: Robert notices that there are errors in the calculations! The new team leaders: (Peter/Sarah) have argument/ major conflict with Robert. He is escorted off property. He returns to his family. His daughter talks to him. He has new insight: Yes, he now knows the correct way to move the satellite and what information to look for intelligent life: he doesn’t need quantum computational computing when he can have fellow citizens, astronomy enthusiasts, and crowdfunding to help him build his own computer. He runs to tell Sarah, to not sell out–to not let this vital information into the hands of the private sector for profit. Sarah tells him to fuck off! She chooses profit over science! She and peter will not share what they’ve learned from aliens nor what they will learn from them in the future. They’ve even considered sharing knowledge of Aliens with Russians for profit. Secret “Russian” and “Private” goons are now after robert, to keep him from blabbing to General Portman about their diabolical plan: which includes destruction of most of humanity and repopulation on other worlds. Robert is almost killed, but makes it out alive and gets to General Portman (his new mentor?) to lead new project to outsmart Rosinski’s evil ambitions.
ACT FOUR
CLIMAX/ULTIMATE EXPRESSION OF THE CONFLICT:
Robert’s daughter has recruited astronomers and other enthusiasts to volunteer their cell phones/ iPhones / computers to and AI computers in other universities: They will hack the James Webb Telescope and collectively networking and sharing with their computers, they will download images from outer space and messages from beings in outer space. Images are downloaded and shared all over the world: Times Square, Piccadilly Circus Billboards, in Tokyo and and other great cities of the world: The extra-terrestrials are directly communicating with the human race! They assume Dr. Robert Amador is the leader of this species on this planet: they want to speak directly with him! let messages in somewhat sloppy grammar come in: “people if earth: we than you and you’re leader Robert Amador: by now we assume your language has progressed to a Subject-Verb-Object language for post of humanity!” the secret is that collective you can work together! that you must maximize the energy potential of your planet, sun, and solar system : little by little you will begin to colonize your galaxy and the rest of space !”
Cameras/ Reporters reach roberts home! FBI/CIA agents descend on robert’s home. his daughter is with him! she is proud of him! but they take him away! He is in government basement, but wait ! it’s the evil Dr. Rosinski again! he has used false agents to take him away! his life is in danger! They are going to kill him if he doesn’t share what else he has learned from aliens and how he did it!
Resolution: General Portman comes to the rescue ! He’s accompanied by real US MILITARY department of defense: he re-connects to “alien” feed ! : from Aliens: “Learn from us, if you’re getting this message, you are now in a dangerous position to destroy yourselves and civilization; you have under 200 years to fix your planet and make it green, in this way your species buys two million years of time or 200 generations ; with this added time, you will colonize the rest of space ; for now we say goodbye as we’ve already crossed the event horizon and have moved beyond actual reachability and visibility; what you’ve seen are the lights of our star system just reaching you now. goodbye forever!”
With that said, Robert is invited to the White House, the President apologizes to him! he is awarded medal of honor for his discovery and for his valor. Robert is a certified hero: NO LONGER A SPINELESS AIMLESS LOSER OF A PROFESSOR, BUT SAVIOR OF THE WORLD! HE is seen on tv around the world ! he picks up his daughter and hugs her:
Robert is at Haydn Planetarium in NYC: He is a celebrated Astronomer and he has his dream job: learning and and educating young minds about astronomy/biology/anthropology/ linguistics etc.
. . .he looks up at the stars once more . . .Robert tears up. . .
© 2024 – Screenwriting classes
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1. Concept: When Dr. Robert Amador discovers method for communicating with intelligent life in the Universe, government agents recruit him to work in secret facility for their own profit and military gains.
2. Main Conflict: Dr. Peter Rosinski wants to take Roberto’s discovery of communicating with intelligent life and us it for his own fame and wealth. He will make sure Dr. Amador is made to look like a fool and will take his discoveries and sell it to the Russians.
Dr.ROBERTO AMADOR’S OLD WAYS:
1. Old identity: meek perennial Phd. Astronomy student, always in lab studying or writing. He never takes action, he hides behind school while his colleagues move on to bigger and better things.
2. His studying has paid off and decides to go for it and present his paper at important conference, but he is unsure of himself, questions his knowledge, and lacks confidence and backbone to stand up for himself.
3. He has alcohol abuse problems and never has enough money–this has caused him to get divorced–as his wife is tired of supporting the family. His daughter still believes in him though.
ROBERTO’S NEW WAYS:
1. He’s tired of being a nerdy chump–he takes action!
2. He takes back control of project he invented from his nemesis.
3. His daughter, who’s always believed in him, sees him as a hero for humanity’s future.
4. He breaks through by communicating with extra-terrestrial life
5. His ex-wife takes him back. He’s hero to world and his family!
ACT ONE:
*Opening: Robert is at celebration party for his colleague who’s been awarded research position at start-up space travel agency in California making huge money. He’s happy for his friend but a little envious: Where is his life going? How long must he remain a PhD. student?
*inciting incident: Robert gets motivated to present his latest paper on time travel and communicating with extra-terrestrial life once he gets it published in the journal for the search for intelligent life.
*Turning point: At conference, he presents his paper but he is booed and jeered by Dr. Peter Rosinski leading the chorus of disappointment from the audience. Other scientists stand up for him but sit back down when Dr. Peter Rosinski makes his speech from audience and humiliates Robert.
at the end of lecture, US military general Portman takes the humiliated Robert back to his place. He explains to him that he liked his plausible presentation and would he like to come work in secret government facility. Robert agrees, and when he’s at the facility, he encounters the very same Dr. Rosinski who was heckling him the previous day. What is goin on here? Dr. Rosinski confesses that he had to shut him up as Robert was indeed on to something and should not expose this new discovery with the public. Dr. Rosinski bring him on to work for secret government space agency and introduce him to secret super quantum computer that can do trillions of calculations in seconds ! Never before has there been a tool for previous astronomers to help them. Robert was born for this. Finally, he’s ready to take action to do what he was born to do!
ACT TWO:
New plan:
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Michael…I know its a little late to give some feedback, but I hope you have continued to progress. Just a few pointers that will help tighten up your story and provide more realism and up to date entities that would be involved. I like your story proposal and I do hope you are progressing.
I do not know what role the Dept of Education would play, but the Pentagon office dealing with UFOs AARO (All-Domain Anomaly Resolution Office), US Northern Command and NORAD would certainly play roles. You could probably fit Roswell in the story line and Area 51 but do research to understand their roles / purpose to your story. The FBI of course would have legal jurisdiction and perhaps the CIA’ old program “Skunk Works” still plays a role but likely taken a back seat to the CIA’s IN-Q-TEL (IQT) would likely be the key players.
Typically, SAIC provides a great deal a high tech science personnel to the US Government. Again you can research and apply their role to your story line and plots. I have found very few scientists who were geniuses that also exercised common sense or had great humor that the common man understood. However, they are not all bad. I had this one Nuclear Physicist who worked nuclear missile programs that had it all.
Typically, a general officer is in charge over programs that have scientists working for him usually knows what is going on, but in your plot your rogue scientists could very well be operating under the radar to keep him out of the loop and that offers intrigue. As for winning back his wife…….if he really loves her and she sees a change in him to take him back and the daughter keeps mommy in tow strongly supporting her father as you have laid out I would say it is plausible. Everyone loves a happy ending.
Again I apologize for not seeing your response earlier last year. I do not go out of my way to disrespect folks so that was not my intention. Should you have questions to bounce off me about the US Govt feel free to. I devoted 26 years to the US Army Reserves, 20 years to the CIA, 4 years in combat for the CIA, was Deputy Chief of Base of Bagram Airbase Afghanistan back in the day, ran counterterrorism operations, export controls of weapons of mass destruction, nuclear/biological/chemical warfare, psychological warfare operations, mid-east peace, contingency operations/planning/exercises, protective service (like US Secret Service but for CIA) and yes I have seen first hand the UFO white orb in San Luis, Colorado that I reported to AARO. I am posting the link to an article below that perhaps you can use below. I can also provide you my report too if you would like.
https://www.uncovercolorado.com/ufo-sightings-san-luis-valley/
I provided my background information to assist in your research and development of your screen play, not to impress you. I always like to help or direct someone in the right direction if I can. My contact information is posted below as of 12 March 2025. Cheers!
V/R Mark Napier
mark.napier2022@gmail.com
907-223-2185 (text or email first so I know it’s not spam)
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Trish’s 4 Act Transformational Structure
What I learned doing this assignment is that this one had me stumped. I didn’t have nearly enough to work with yet, so I had to do many rounds on this to fill it out. I’m pleased with the new ideas I got.
Concept: When travelers stay at this secluded hotel, their deepest secrets come to life until they face them or die (or are blackmailed by Richard to keep their secret).
Main Conflict: Emma, the vacationing office worker, takes on Richard, the hotel manager, after she realizes he’s tormenting (killing?) the guests. She has to face her past to defeat him.
Old Ways: Her old way was to blame everyone for bad things that happened to her and take it all as proof that she was unlovable. She would also let other people deal with stuff (avoiding all responsibility). [note to self: need more tangible old ways that won’t work]
New Ways: Her new way is to be responsible for how she deals with hardships and accept that they have nothing to do with her lovability. At the hotel, she learns to work with Lucas (eventually) to take down Richard. She’s willing to be vulnerable and feel emotions.
Act 1:
Opening: Emma checks into the hotel. She meets Sam, the aged bellhop and Richard, the hotel manager. She meets Olivia (a doctor) in the lounge and they see Lucas (the former journalist) across the room.
Inciting Incident: Emma has a nightmare of a fight with her ex. She dismisses it as stress-induced. Richard’s plan is in motion for this new batch of guests (not sure yet if everyone arrives at the same time or not.)
Turning Point: Emma tells Olivia about her dream and she says, she had one too about a former patient. They don’t get into details. Emma brushes it all off. Lucas and Emma talk and he shares some about his past, but Emma doesn’t want details from him either. Richard reminds everyone about the calming music/water sounds they offer to listen to as they fall asleep (It has subliminal messaging that causes the nightmares). The music is also in the hallways and throughout the hotel. Sam makes weird comments that Emma ignores. Emma realizes that the nightmares are based on real events in the people’s lives. Richard intensifies the messaging for the guests to increase their fear.
Act 2:
New plan: Emma suspects the hotel staff are behind the nightmares, but she doesn’t know who or how. She sees a therapy dog wincing in the lobby where gentle music is playing. That leads her to consider the music. Emma questions people, both staff and guests. She’s gauging who she can trust. Richard ups the intensity on Emma’s dreams, as he suspects she suspects something.
Plan in action: Lucas does his own investigation, but Emma doesn’t trust him. The guests are dealing with their nightmares in various ways. Olivia is spiraling. Richard is very empathetic to the suffering guests, offering free spa treatments. We see/hear him suggesting suicide as a way out of the situation (into the computer program where the messages come from), but we don’t know who that message is for.
Midpoint Turning Point: Olivia tells Emma the truth about killing a patient and she kills herself by overdosing on pills. Richard is pleased.
Act 3:
Rethink everything: Emma teams up with Lucas now and they have to trust each other and share info. They have to tread carefully but also work quickly. Richard continues to spy on Lucas and Emma and dig up more dirt on them.
New plan: Emma and Lucas discover Richard is exploiting the guests and manipulating them via subliminal messaging in the music. They have to figure out how to stop him.
Turning Point – Huge failure / Major shift: Even though Olivia has died, her spouse is still there trying to figure out what to do. He bribes Richard to keep Olivia’s secret and let him leave (with her body). Another guest tries to kill their partner (after learning their secret), but only maims them (trying to avoid another suicide). The hotel doctor treats them.
Emma and Lucas confront Richard directly with what proof they have, thinking it’s enough. They know he’s blackmailing and manipulating the guests and they know how, but don’t know still how to stop him. He doesn’t care about their proof, because he has dirt on them too and now they’re lives are in danger.
Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Emma and Lucas have to rectify their past situations so that the dirt Richard has on them doesn’t apply anymore. [The dirt on Emma is not illegal or immoral, so this isn’t very compelling. Maybe it is for Lucas. – need to keep working on this]. Emma and Lucas figure out that Richard was blocking access to the full internet and had a cell phone jammer. They deal with those things, so they can call the police. This needs to be part of a large set piece with life or death hanging in the balance.
Resolution: Lucas releases his guilt over his work thing. The other guests are relieved and free, like people shaken from a stupor. Emma forgives herself and her ex and she cries for all she’s lost (in life and Olivia dying). She realizes how helpful it was to partner with Lucas on this mission, but not in a romantic way (unless that is needed to show she can be emotionally vulnerable). Richard is arrested or killed. Sam, the bellhop, is free to retire. The hotel is shut down, but a haunting lingers in the air. As if what happened there won’t be forgotten, in a good or bad way.
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