Lesson 5

[Nat Melvin]

Natalie’s Synopsis Hooks

WIL: Writing a query letter became much easier once I looked into the story's essence.

Title: STOLEN SENSES

Genre: One-Hour YA Fantasy /Adventure Show

List of Hooks: Ancient curse /Forbidden magic /Divine confrontation /Ancient artifacts / World Destruction/ Sinister force

Synopsis Draft 1:

What if you triggered an ancient curse that could destroy Greek and Hawaiian Gods?

Sola, an orphan Hawaiian teen, delves into a forbidden magic, inadvertently instilling herself with Zeus’ power and unleashing an ancient curse that plunges the divine and mortal realms into chaos.

Now the fate of Earth hangs in the balance

As the Greek Gods scramble to mitigate the curse’s effects and protect their dominion, Sola’s emergence draws the attention of the Hawaiian Gods, setting the stage for a divine showdown.

When the true stakes surface, Sola makes a fateful choice to bridge divine and mortal realms

She grapples with her newfound abilities, inadvertently banishing the ancient artifacts imbued with the gods’ powers, thrusting her into a quest to prevent world destruction. But can she confront the sinister force lurking behind the curse?

[Margaret]

Margaret’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned: How to use hooks in my pitch.

Hooks:
On a parallel world
Historical Masada siege echoes
Wants nothing to do with religion, ends up a prophet
Emotional dilemma – return to Earth or save lives in this world
Orb gives direction, refusal means death
Donek leader wanting to save his people promotes suicide

The pitch:
Does history really repeat itself?

In the aftermath of a cataclysmic earthquake, Jack is thrust into a parallel world where the past is alive and Earth’s history repeats itself with chilling precision. He discovers a haunting similarity between the plight of the contemporary Donek people and the ancient siege of Masada. Jack becomes a reluctant prophet, seeing visions of the echoes to come.

If Jack cannot stop the Masada echoes from unfolding, with Donek people die?

Desperate to escape the burden of this newfound responsibility, Jack attempts to escape this parallel world, but is thwarted by an insistent spiritual entity, the Orb, binding him to a destiny he cannot escape. With no choice but to embrace his fate, Jack guides the Donek to the sanctuary of Ebba, determined to rewrite history. Yet, as the echoes of Masada grow louder, and the threat to the Donek escalates, he must be willing to make the ultimate sacrifice – his own life.

Will Jack find the courage to defy the echoes of the past and secure a future for the Donek?

“Echoes of Masada” is a riveting exploration of fate, sacrifice, and the enduring power of hope in the face of insurmountable odds. It is a journey where past and present collide, and the fate of an entire civilization hangs in the balance. Can Jack break the cycle of history and secure a future for the Donek, or will he succumb to the weight of the past?

[Renee Miller]

Renee’s Synopsis Hooks

What I learned doing this assignment is that I still struggle with coming up with a synopsis. I’ve taken several classes that uses this method and it is still difficult for me to find the hooks that I can use in my synopsis.

1. Veronica’s mother is murdered in front of her and the men that killed her kidnap her.
2. Veronica inadvertently awakens an ancient deity when she reads from her mother’s journal.
3. If she continues to investigate her mother’s death and her ties to the cult she will be sacrificed, if she stops her investigation into the cult she will never solve her mother’s murder and will still possibly die.
4. She is the key to fulfilling the cult’s ancient prophecy, which states that awakening an ancient deity will bring death and destruction to the world.
5. The celestial event in relation to the cult’s activities adds a sense of urgency and a ticking clock. (Total Lunar Eclipse, followed by the Transit of Mercury two weeks later, followed by a Full Moon two weeks later, when the ritual must be performed to fulfill the prophecy.)
6. Samuel, posing as a lost follower, is the current leader of the cult who killed Darius (Veronica’s father and former cult leader).
7. Father Malachi is working to stop the cult using the knowledge he gained while a member of the cult.
8. Dr. Stone is inadvertently leading Veronica straight into the hands of the cult by utilizing information given to her by an unknown benefactor who is a member of the cult.
9. There’s a group of cult escapees known as the lost followers that will aid Veronica in her investigation.

The darkness approaches. . .

Thirteen years after the traumatic night of her mother's murder and her own kidnapping by a mysterious cult, investigative journalist Veronica Thornfield stumbles upon enigmatic symbols at her mother’s grave. As she delves into the tangled legacy of her mother, Veronica unwittingly activates an ancient prophecy foretold to unleash catastrophic destruction.

And the Key is among you . .

Caught in a perilous limbo, Veronica faces a harrowing choice: pursue the truth, risking becoming a sacrificial lamb at the altar of the cult’s apocalyptic ambitions, or retreat and allow the shadows of her past to cloud the truth forever. An upcoming celestial event tied to the ancient prophecy compels Veronica to act before the final ritual that will fulfill the prophecy and awaken an ancient deity that threatens to shatter the world as she knows it.

Beware the shadowed path.

[Sunil Pappu]

Sunil Pappu’s Synopsis Hooks

“What I learned doing this assignment is… to create my synopsis using hooks.”

Hooks I used from 10 COM:

A. Unique – a heist that can save the banking world as we know it.
B. Great Title – Hawala Ledger (Hawala is a household name everyone in India is familiar with as an alternative banking system that is usually linked to the underworld, big scams and terror financing. The ledger is meant to hold ancient secrets to wealth and power passed on through generations by the secret Society called “The Kuber Circle”)
F. Ultimate – “The Kuber Circle” named after the god of wealth “Kubera” in Hindu Mythology, is an ancient secret society like the Knights Templars, Freemasons or the Illuminati that has been passed down the ages a ledger of secrets that control the world through the power and influence of money – the shylocks of ancient India and guardians of financial secrets of the world.
J. A great role for a bankable actor – a math prodigy who is also a badass and the heir to a powerful secret society.

Hooks I used from 10 MIT:
A. What is most unique about your villain and hero?
A math prodigy joins a team of RAW agents and thieves on a heist for a secret ledger.
B. Major hook of your opening scene?
Priya survives a terrorist attack at the Bombay Stock exchange and steals a ledger from its secret vault.
C. Any turning points?
Priya and her father are held in a RAW safehouse after their house is surrounded by RAW agents.
Priya finds out her father is rumored to be one of the OGs of the Hawala network
Priya loses her father when a RAW Safehouse they are being held blows up.
A terrorist attack is the decoy for a ledger sale by the Hawala network
Priya survives the attack and steals the ledger…
D. Emotional dilemma?
To find out the truth about her father she must go deeper into the dangerous world of the Hawala.
H. Or any big surprises?
Priya discovers a secret room with the symbol used by the secret Society “The Kuber Circle” hidden behind her father’s bookshelf.
A mysterious woman from the secret society saves her father’s life – could it be her mother?

Title: Hawala Ledger / The Kuber Circle
Genre: One-hour Heist Thriller Series

There’s only one way to save the world of finance – a heist!

A daredevil math prodigy Priya reluctantly joins a team of master thieves led by a rogue intelligence agent Arjun to steal a secret Ledger from the underworld banking network, the Hawala that wants to control global wealth and power. Priya the rookie quickly finds out she can trust no one. Each of her teammates is hiding something. Their attempts to infiltrate the Hawala network fail and…

… the heist team has a mole!

Priya and her father are kidnapped from their home and taken to a RAW safehouse to be interrogated. Priya gives up her team to save her father only to be rescued by Arjun before the safehouse blows up, killing him.

Priya finds out her father was one of the founders of Hawala!

Priya needs to go deeper into the dangerous world of Hawala to uncover the truth about her father. But time is running out as the Ledger is up for sale. But first, she has to stop a terror attack on the Bombay stock exchange! Priya survives the attack to steal the ledger. She stumbles into her father’s secret vault with the symbol of a legendary society, “The Kuber Circle.”

What does the Ledger have to do with a mythical secret society?

And why are they keeping her father alive?

• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  Sunil Pappu.

[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned: Used AI to refine my course draft and that made it flow much smoother.

Synopsis First Draft:

Title: ROGUE WARRIORS

Genre: Science Fiction / Military Action

For skilled medic Leisa Hunter, the nightmare begins when her brother Nathan vanishes on a humanitarian mission. She thinks terrorists nabbed him, but the truth is way crazier – Nathan was recruited by ancient aliens called the Tall Whites to help defend Earth.

Unfortunately, a rival alien race known as the Grays got to Nathan first. Now Leisa has to assemble a crew of renegade ex-military badasses to launch an unauthorized rescue op to save her brother from the clutches of the resource-hungry Grays.

Leisa’s team of misfits gets a surprise assist from an unexpected source – her long-lost mother, who's not just alive but a human-alien hybrid working with a secret government faction allied with the Tall Whites. Mind-blowing family reunion, right?

The rules for surviving this cosmic battle? First, don’t get vaporized by the Grays’; brain-melting weaponry. Second, watch your back because one of Leisa’s crew might just be a traitorous mole for the alien invaders.

Rather than court-martialing her, Leisa’s commanding officer in the U.S. Marine Raiders only appears to oppose her rogue activities. In reality, he may be her greatest ally, allowing her team’s unsanctioned operation to continue for reasons not yet clear.

As if battling dual extraterrestrial civilizations wasn’t crazy enough, Leisa’s rogue warriors must also evade military pursuit from forces definitely opposed to their mission. Her own CO is the sole exception, dangling reassignment as leverage to keep Leisa in line while secretly enabling her quest.
In this warzone of tangled loyalties and conflicting alien agendas, who can Leisa really trust? Her own mother? Her addict best friend? The only certainty is that the future of the entire human race hangs in the balance.

With the world at stake, Leisa&amp’s only hope is joining forces with the benevolent Tall Whites against their ancient archenemies, the Grays. Can this rogue team prevent Earth from becoming the greatest strip mine in the galaxy?

• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  Bob Creager.
• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  Bob Creager.

[Denice Lewis]

Denice’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned doing this assignment is that this process makes writing a synopsis a little less intimidating. It’s still difficult to hone in on the most important elements of the series.
Series Synopsis
Maya is dream bound, desperate to find her kidnapped father in the realm of dreams. His secret life leaves Maya unprepared to accept her heritage as the next Dreamweaver. Creating portals with the power of the star constellation on her wrist, Maya travels in her physical body to the dream world. Her reckless, unchecked emotions affect its balance with reality, with life and death consequences. Dream traders, dream thieves, memory swipes, and hunters from both worlds seek the bounty for the capture of the Dreamweaver, but don’t know they’re looking for a girl. The Dream Forgers pose the biggest threat by manipulating dreamers for control and financial gains in the real world. With the search for her father, family secrets, surprising supporters, and evading the enemy, can Maya fulfill her destiny and save both worlds or fulfill the prophecy of her death?

[Jeff Chase]

Jeffrey Alan Chase’s Synopsis Hooks

What I learned doing this assignment is how much information I found for creating my pitch in my work on my script’s components of marketability and most interesting things. The volume of ideas enabled me to clearly come up with hooks for my synopsis/pitch. I know this will get stronger in the next couple of days.

Hooks used:
Unique: A homeless Army veteran must prove he’s innocent of war crimes.
Timely: More and more people are returning to God and interested in End Times prophecy.
Wide audience appeal: more than just typical Faith-based audience.
Similarity to a box-office success: Sound of Freedom, The Shack, Heaven is for Real, The Chosen
A U.S. Army CID officer has gone rogue and is possessed by a demon but doesn’t know it.
Jonah tries to throw the backpack away, but it bounces off a freight train, ricochets back at him.

Synopsis:
What would you do if you discovered you had the power to save souls?

U.S. Army veteran Jonah Adams hopes the beat-up backpack he just found has something in it he can use. He’s homeless. And on the run from false charges of war crimes. And he’s got PTSD from his service in Afghanistan where he and his best friend were blown up by a Taliban IED. And now an Army CID agent – Jonah’s best friend’s twin brother – has gone rogue and is on a mission to hunt Jonah down and bring him to justice. But that’s not the worst Jonah has to fear.

The Army CID agent is possessed by a demon with a mission to murder Jonah.

But God works in mysterious ways. Jonah finds an item of useless “junk” in the backpack that has a powerful influence on a homeless woman in crisis – and he bring her to Christ. But Jonah is angry with God because of childhood events, and his Afghan war experiences, and the Army filing false charges of war crimes against him.

Jonah rejects this mission from God. Then he finds items in the backpack that weren’t in it the day before.

How does a hunted man who helps others find salvation, find it himself before he is murdered?

[Phyllis Strong]

Phyllis’ Synopsis Hooks…
I learned that the hooks made writing a synopsis a lot easier, but this is definitely a first draft…
1. A futuristic experiment with four elderly test subjects wired to four brain-dead hosts. The elderly die.
2. Peter has only months to live, fueling his determination to do the procedure as soon as possible.
3. Diana is torn between letting the flawed procedure go forward, or have Peter reveal her career-ending secret.
4. We see the futuristic experiment again. The elderly still die, but the hosts awaken: the consciousness transfer procedure is a success.
5. Peter’s estranged daughter is a leader of the protests against the procedure he funded and is capitalizing on.
6. Diana has never been in love but her host body has strong feelings for her host’s husband.
7. Peter’s host abused his wife and Peter now has his violent urges.
8. The hosts were vetted by investigators who were paid off and then killed. Where did these hosts really come from?
9. Mark betrays Peter by becoming a mole for the military that’s vying for control of the project…
Title: The Price of Youth
Written by Phyllis Strong
Genre: 1 Hour Grounded Sci-Fi
There’s a new medical procedure for the 1%. When they get old, they can pay millions to transfer their consciousness to younger, brain-dead hosts.///
But it’s untested. Tech mogul Peter accelerates the launch because he’s secretly dying. Fellow test subject, neuroscientist Diana, finds a flaw but Peter blackmails her to stay quiet. The experiment goes forward and the four elderly subjects awaken in hosts more than half their age.///
Peter goes into sell mode and protests erupt over the morality and inequality of the procedure. Peter’s estranged daughter is a leader of the movement. ///
Then the flaw rears its ugly head. The hosts retain their primal emotions, which can overwhelm a new consciousness. Relationship-averse Diana develops strong romantic feelings for her host’s husband. Peter’s host abused his wife and now Peter has those violent urges. ///
Peter and Diana discover that the hosts were vetted by investigators who were paid off and then killed. Where did these hosts really come from? And does it have anything to do with the military vying for this transfer tech?

[Art Blum]

Art's Synopsis Hooks
I learned to work with AI to write, have AI edit, then I revise what it did and continue the process until I feel it’s ready, or at least better.
Hooks and moments of interest I used to create my synopsis.
Ryan’s Dual Identity and Trauma: Ryan’s past as Star Rover, his struggle to control his powers, and the trauma he carries from his time at Hermes provide a rich foundation for his character arc and the central conflict.
Dr. Blaine’s Villainous Complexity: Dr. Blaine’s complex past and motivations, particularly her tragic connection to Teddy and her desire to resurrect him, add depth to the antagonist role and drive the story forward.
Central Conflict Establishment: The opening scene's revelation of Star Rover's abilities and the subsequent pursuit by Hermes sets up the central conflict and mystery of the series, drawing viewers into the story from the start.
Character Betrayal and Alliance: Seth’s role as a rogue agent and his betrayal-turned-ally dynamic with Ryan contribute to the narrative's tension and complexity, keeping viewers engaged with shifting alliances and motivations.
High Stakes and World-Building: The impending celestial event and its potential impact on humanity, coupled with the mysteries surrounding alien consciousness and psychic powers, raise the stakes and contribute to the rich world-building of the series.
My Synopsis:

"GO YOUR WAY IN SAFETY," a one-hour sci-fi pilot, tells the story of Ryan, a 14-year-old living in a quiet little town, going to a local high school, wanting nothing more than to be an ordinary teenager after escaping from Hermes, a sinister government agency experimenting with alien consciousness.
The series teaser sets up the central conflict and mystery: a group of Hermes kids discuss their failure to locate a target, while the revelation of Star Rover's abilities hints at Ryan’s true identity and the power he wields. Dr. Blaine, a former child psychic channel herself and now director of the black ops program that included Ryan, carries a tragic burden—the death of her childhood friend Teddy, whom she was forced to kill in a deadly experiment gone awry. Her desire to resurrect him drives her down a dark path, adding depth to her character’s villainous pursuits.
Ryan’s world is turned upside down when his only ally, his caretaker Maria, abruptly abandons him to protect her family, leaving him utterly alone and vulnerable—a pivotal moment that shapes his journey. Despite this, Ryan displays inherent heroism by risking exposure to save a bully from a deadly allergic reaction, highlighting his internal struggle between normalcy and responsibility. However, his picture is taken by a fellow student and sent to a friend, which gets picked up by Hermes, putting Ryan in grave danger.
Unexpected allies come to Ryan’s aid, including Seth, a rogue Hermes agent who reveals long-held evidence against Hermes, using it to protect Ryan. However, Ryan’s perceptions of Seth are clouded by Maria’s warning that he may be an ally of the aliens. Additionally, Coleman, a fellow student initially hostile towards Ryan, witnesses his selfless act saving the bully and becomes an unlikely ally, along with Indigo, another classmate and a psychic in her own right.
The sudden appearance of ethereal children Teddy and other Christopher Project kids in Star Rover’s visions injects an eerie twist into the narrative, hinting at a deeper mystery. Teddy and a host of other kids, whose essences were reduced to blips on a computer chip, pop up on a TV screen, despite supposedly being dead. It is revealed that Hermes shot them into outer space twenty years ago, hoping their psychic powers would increase in magnitude and form a bridge to alien civilizations. Shockingly, it worked.
Now, all Hermes needs is Ryan Gordon, the boy once known as Star Rover, the only known human channel capable of reanimating the alien spirits into human form. Amidst the impending celestial event, characters grapple with moral ambiguity and the search for redemption, navigating the blurred lines between good and evil. As the celestial event looms, its high stakes and potential impact on humanity drive the urgency of the characters' actions.

• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  Art Blum.

[Jerry Robbins]

Jerry Robbins, Synopsis Hooks
What I learned doing this assignment is that I could use the hooks to create the synopsis, which took the guesswork and book report aspect out and created a much better synopsis.

Title: Robob Revolution
Written by Jerry Robbins
Genre: Science Fiction, Drama

The robobs – robots with human brains – are now sentient, and they want their rights!

The robobs, led by Cipher, are dead-set on putting on a peaceful demonstration for their rights, but it is not the police who call a halt to it, but the security forces of their owner, a company called Robinia. Meanwhile, a Robinia executive lies dead in an alley from an unknown cause – is there a connection?

Mara Prescott, CEO of Robinia, wants Alexia King to find out. So does Gabe Torres, the son of the victim.

Both feel that Dr. Montgomery, the mad genius behind the robob creation, may hold the clues, but he fast-covers his tracks, telling Gabe that what happened in a desert sandstorm long ago should remain buried with the ghosts and tears! Meanwhile, Cipher and Alexia team up. She admits that Dr. Montgomery is her father and asks Cipher to take her to him.

Dr. Montgomery is happy to see them for a shocking reason – to create his new models, and he needs their bodies on the operating table!

• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  Jerry Robbins.
• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  Jerry Robbins.
• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  Jerry Robbins.
• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  Jerry Robbins.
• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  Jerry Robbins.

[Lenore]

Lenore Bechtel’s Synopsis Hooks

What I learned from this assignment is how hooks can be turned into a synopsis that is interesting, but doesn’t tell the whole story.

Title: Hypnotized by Hope

Genre: Drama/Comedy

Contained one-hour TV series

In the unique world of hypnosis—particularly fascinating to young adults—Lilly Brandon hitches her wagon to the star she hopes her book will make of Hypnotist Joshua Hope.
She must conceal Joshua’s zany treatments from ruthless reporter Quinten Quebeck whose expose could doom their book and both their futures.

Quinten’s nosey nose sniffs out scandals as easily as Joshua hires inept bimbos for the office, where crazy things consistently occur. He’s there when Dr. Dan dashes in and collides with Maudie and oops! Her fat disguise shifts on her body like poorly placed puzzle pieces. Why slim Maudie pretended to be fat demonstates Joshua’s hypnotic suggestions’ strength.

Why did respected psychiatrist Dr. Dan run so carelessly? Because of Joshua prescribed treatment for Dr. Dan’s patient Timothy, who thinks he’s invisible and needs to get caught robbing a bank to prove his visibility.

Of course, Lilly arranged the fake bank robbery, just as she found an unopenable safe to be used for Tyrell’s treatment. She doesn’t know that Tyrell is an ex-con safecracker Joshua met when he was incarcerated for impersonating a doctor—a secret Joshua’s kept from Lilly.

Oh well, she’s never told him either that as a teenager she was raped, became pregnant, and gave the baby up for adoption. So what should he do when Shay comes around, saying he’s identified Lilly as his birth mother? Why not hire him? He can help the latest bimbo Sally, who pretends to be inept only to stick around long enough to let her publisher uncle know if Joshua is legit.

What’s Joshua to do when Quinten sleuths out many things that could harm him? He tells Lilly that QQ is a somnabulist—one he could easily hypnotize against his will. What a dilemma for straight-laced Lilly! But not for Dr. Dan who says to zonk him and tell him what to write.

Joshua zonks him, and the suggestions he gives result in Sally’s publisher uncle sending Joshua on a round-the-USA book tour. Ex-cons he refused to help in prison now know where to find him, creating continuing comedic drama for both him and Lilly.

[Patrick Malone]

Patrick’s Synopsis Hooks
I learned that using the COM and 10 MITS is a great way to develop an intriguing synopsis.
Title: THE DEAD LAKES
Written by: Patrick Malone
Genre: Mystery/Horror
Hooks:
The intriguing title.
Mystery of the lost gold.
Clark’s and his mother’s financial dilemma.
Clark’s relationship with fiancé is in jeopardy.
He has a dangerous rival. The search for gold is fraught with physical and paranormal perils.
Synopsis
In 1862, millions of dollars in Confederate gold disappeared in the forests and swamps of the Florida Panhandle. It hasn’t been seen in 162 years.
Actor Clark Grady returns from a long theater tour happily looking forward to his wedding and moving into his new home.
But what does one do when he discovers his mother has a gambling addiction, is about to lose her house, and his acting troupe is being terminated? His solution? Find the lost gold.
Despite the many physical dangers and that others, including his father, have vanished in their searches, the gold may be his only salvation.
Without the gold he could lose everything including his fiancé. Either way, he may lose her as she is totally against the search.
Learning that a ruthless Northerner plans his own expedition, Clark and his crew head into the Florida wilderness. Clark ventures toward the mysterious and foreboding Dead Lakes unaware that