Lesson 5

[Eden De Ruse-Moore]

Eden De Ruse-Moore Synopsis Hooks

What I learned doing this assignments is focus on just your hooks, that will make a great pitch.

MIT Hooks

• Zena (aka POTUS) goes into labor during the All Star game.

• Joe Harley as a Yankee hit fast balls for a living.

• Senator Crawford leads an investigation on the Capitol Hill coined Babygate.

• Joe is discredited on national TV by the Baby Czar for his lack of parenting skills.

• Joe needing baby care back-up, enlists the aid of his former Yankee coach, a Secret Service Agent, and Ruth’s grandfather a decorated Vietnam vet — this fierce foursome make up Team Nanny.

• Joe has a heated argument in Tokyo with Zena because he feels neglected.

• Zena is ready for a second child but Joe is not.

COM Hooks

• The President finds out she’s pregnant on Inauguration Day, and tells her spouse the news as she’s about to be sworn in.

• Given the situation, Operation First Fetus is to remain confidential until the State of the Union

• Similar to Barbie, (box office success). Joe’s entire adult life has been based on one thing: being a Yankee. But in his role as the First Daddy he experiences a crisis of identity, and later a reckoning of his own masculinity and personal flaws.

Title: YANKEE DOODLE DADDY

Genre: Dramedy/Romance

It’s a BIG day! Your wife the President Elect is about to be sworn into office and there’s even bigger news — she thinks she’s pregnant.

Joe Harley a former Yankee, a man who hit fast balls for a living is the father of the First Fetus.

Joe is asked to return to Yankee stadium to throw out the first pitch at the All Star game this brings back a flood of emotions but there’s no time for that because POTUS has gone into labor.

When the adorable Baby Ruth is born, Zena’s biggest political rival, Senator Crawford leads a Special Investigation on Capitol Hill coined, Babygate.

Joe trained for fatherhood by reading all Doctor Wagamoe’s books. But the self-proclaimed Baby Czar discredits Joe for his baby blunders on national TV.

Joe needing baby care back-up, enlists the aid of his former Yankee coach, a Secret Service Agent, and Ruth’s grandfather, a decorated Vietnam vet — this fierce foursome make up Team Nanny.

Yankee Doodle Daddy is similar to the box office hit film, Barbie. Think – Just Ken in the White House –

Joe’s entire life has been defined by baseball which gives him anxiety causing an identity crisis to brew. Joe is often criticized for “not being in touch with his feminine side.” Yet while POTUS runs the nation he’s devoted to his role as a stay-at-home Dad.

Joe shares his feelings of neglect and being undervalued with Zena which results in a heated argument.

To add further tension to their marriage Zena is ready for a second child but Joe is not.

• This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by  Eden De Ruse-Moore.
• This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by  Eden De Ruse-Moore.

[anna harper]

Anna Synopsis plus hooks.
What I learned from this assignment is a process for doing a more effective synopsis.
These are the hooks I chose from the previous assignment.
We meet Alfie, a hungry homeless dog in a back alley
2. Alfie explores a beautiful Christmas-themed village, where a homeless street person gives Alfie food.
3. We meet Dylan, a teenage boy is in the middle of a brawl. His school principal and a mean teacher appear. They do not give Dylan any support and accuse him of using his Mother's death and his subsequent silence as a ruse.
4. Alfie meets angel; Michelle, Dylan's mother. She bestows the gift of telepathic communication on Alfie. Michelle asks Alfie to help her son.
5. Steve; Dylan's Dad, comes home to find a horse-sized dog in the bathtub. Steve wants to send Alfie to the pound.
Dylan's bully teacher is trying to ship Dylan off to a London boarding school so she can develop a relationship with Steve.
6. Alfie starts to have some success coaching Dylan to speak, but it only gets Dylan into more trouble.
7. Following a shocking incident of the teacher locking Lilly, Dylan's only friend in the school cellar and Dylan attempting to rescue her, Dylan calls the teacher a liar. Dylan's fate seems to be sealed.
8. Dylan runs away.
9. Alfie saves the day and locates Dylan. Steve gives Alfie a temporary reprieve from the pound.
10. It's Christmas day and Dylan and Lilly are exchanging gifts at the seafront promenade. They encounter a very depressed Victor (the school's alpha bully.) There is big trouble at Victor's house. All three end up having Christmas dinner at Dylan's house.
New hooks to make sense of story:
Alfie tells Dylan he wants to find his litter mates. Dylan agrees to find them by secretly getting into the school computer lab.
Christmas Day evening. Alfie wakes Dylan up and takes him back to the alley where they first met. Angel Michelle appears and tells Dylan she will always love him and look out for him. She explains Alfie is one of her special helpers. She praises Alfies for doing a great job.
Dylan wakes the next morning and thinks he was having a dream. Alfies tells him No, I was there!

SYNOPSIS
ALFIE’S CHRISTMAS ADVENTURE
Written and created by Anna Harper
HOLIDAY/FAMILY
Inspired by my work with traumatized patients, and living in Lyme Regis, previously used for successful film shoots.
It’s Christmas in a quaint English village where we meet Dylan a teenage boy, hiding from a gang of bullies, in a rubbish skiff. What if a ginormous homeless dog comes to his rescue and becomes his life coach?

We meet Alfie, a Newfoundland dog, in a back alley looking for food in rubbish bins.
He is chased off by an angry butcher. Alfie runs off to explore the abundant and beautiful Christmas-themed village where a homeless man shares his food with Alfie.
A schoolyard brawl is where we meet Dylan. He is in big trouble with a Cruella de Ville-like teacher and a nasty piece of work for a school principal who feels no sympathy for Dylan who has not spoken since his mother died two years ago.
Alfie gets a shocking visit from an angel; Michelle (Dylan’s mother,) who bestows the dog with the gift of telepathic communication.
Dylan meets Alfie when he jumps into a rubbish skiff to escape a horde of school bullies. Dylan is shocked and mystified by the dog’s ability to break into his bubble of silence. Alfie does not reveal the source of his gift.
Dylan takes a very dirty and hungry Alfie home, promising the dog food if he agrees to a bath. Steve, Dylan’s Dad comes home to discover “a horse in my bathtub!” Steve is going to send Alfie to the pound!
Alfie 6onvinces Dylan to interact positively with the school bullies, and to use more words. Dylan has one friend, Lilly. The awful schoolteacher locks Lilly in the school cellar.

Everything goes wrong when Dylan tries to rescue her, with the help of his Dad. Dylan calls the teacher out. Enraged, the school principal and nasty teacher, decide the only option is to send Dylan off to a boarding school in London.
Steve is beside himself and fails to notice until nightfall that his son has run away. After exhausting various possibilities, Alfie gets Steve's attention and leads him to find his son, hiding in the rubbish skiff.
Overcome with emotion, Steve gives Alfie a reprieve providing that Dylan continues to work on talking again. Dylan is not going to boarding school.
Steve sets about setting things right at the school and has an angry exchange with the school board.
Christmas day finds Alfie, Dylan and Lilly sitting in the rain shelter on the seafront promenade, exchanging gifts. They observe alpha bully Victor, walking dejectedly; there is big domestic trouble at home. Victor is invited to Dylan’s cottage for Christmas dinner.
Steve agrees to let Alfie stay permanently. Steve has a private emotional scene with his girlfriend, overcome with relief that his son is beginning to talk again and has friends.
After the festivities, Dylan and Alfie discuss Alfie’s dilemma. He feels lonely for his brother and sister. Dylan hatches a plan to find them, involving secretly entering the school computer lab.
Alfie wakes Dylan up in the middle of the night and takes him to the back alley where they first met. Dylan’s Mom, Angel Michelle manifests. She gives Dylan reassurance that she will always love and watch out for Dylan, and reveals that Alfie is one of her special helpers. The next morning, Dylan believes it was just having a dream. Alfie says “No, I was there!”

• This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by  anna harper.
• This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by  anna harper.
• This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by  anna harper.

[William Whelan]

William Whelan – Synopsis Hooks
“What I learned doing this assignment is to write a synopsis with hooks.”
Liza, a mafia princess, who desires to be an actor and sophisticated lady has a chance meeting with Professor Shaw and decides to enroll in his theater acting class. Her mafia boss father, Big Dom, pushes back, and Liza must decide whether to break with her family or give up her dream. When Big Dom unexpectedly dies, Loza must put her dream on hold and fight an underboss, Vito, for control of the family until her brother gets out of prison. After she shoots Vito during an attempted rape, a battle with rival factions of the family ensues culminating with Liza’s car being firebombed. Liza must go on the run to survive and while hiding out in Brooklyn is pursued by Vito’s rival faction. Liza, with a contract on her head, eludes a hitman and concludes her only escape is to leave the country and heads to JFK with her destination to be determined. .

[Michael Wallace]

Michael Wallace’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned doing this assignment is to use hooks to create a synopsis of my story rather than telling the whole story. Doing this assignment made me go back and break down some of my MITs into separate bullets. And make some adjustments.
MIT’S
1 Our hero is a Wall Street executive during the “dot com” boom who makes money for his clients, but also manipulates the market for his company’s gain and those he chooses to benefit.

2 . He returns to his hometown and mentors a twelve-year-old kid in a school stock trading club to win back his childhood sweetheart, who is a teacher in the kid’s school.

3 The executive gives the kid inside information to help him win his stock picking contest, and in exchange the kid agrees to help the executive by finding out any information he can on his teacher, to help the executive win her back.

4 Everything is going great until it is discovered through an SEC probe that the kid is trading real stocks in an account set up in his mother’s name and making a fortune.

5 The politically motivated NYS AG (the villain) who vows to clean up Wall Street in his quest to become the next Governor, faces the dilemma of prosecuting a kid for insider trading after he refuses to settle, and the media won’t let the story go away. Despite his company’s political contributions, he secretly threatens to go after the executive if he doesn’t agree to testify against the kid.

6 After resisting at first, the executive agrees to testify to save himself, losing the girl and his relationship with the kid.

6 The kid’s heart wrenching testimony on the stand makes the executive realize that he learned everything that is wrong with Wall Street, and those that get away with questionable activities from him.

7 The night before he is supposed to testify, he secretly feeds inside information to the defense about his firms ‘questionable dealings which they use against the executive when he is put on the stand, to help the kid get off.

COM’S
Unique- There have been many successful movies about Wall Street, but none from the perspective of a twelve-year-old kid.
Great Title – “The Kid from Lynbrook” is about a Wall Street executive that returns to his hometown and inspires another kid like him to follow in his footsteps. Great irony.
Wide audience appeal – and similar to box office successes – This will appeal to fans of Wall Street movies like “Wall Street”, “Boiler Room”, “The Wolf of Wall Street” and “The Big Short”, and be attractive to teenage kids, as it provides a comedic look on how a kid can expose the whole system.
SYNOPSIS
TITLE: THE KID FROM LYNBROOK
Written by Michael Wallace
Genre: Drama/Comedy
Brendan Malone is a hot shot Wall Street executive during the “dot com” boom who makes his fortune manipulating the markets.

He returns to his hometown of Lynbrook, where he mentors Anthony a twelve-year-old kid in a school stock trading club to win back Anthony’s teacher Cindy his childhood sweetheart, the one who got away.

Malone gives Anthony inside information to help him win his stock picking contest, and in exchange the kid agrees to help him by finding out any information he can on Cindy, to help Malone win her back.

Everything is going great until it is discovered through an SEC probe that Anthony is trading real stocks in an account set up in his mother’s name and making a fortune.

Cacoulidis, the politically motivated NYS AG, who vows to clean up Wall Street in his quest to become the next Governor, faces the dilemma of prosecuting a kid for insider trading after Anthony refuses to settle, and the media won’t let the story go away. Despite Malone’s political contributions, Cacoulidis threatens to go after him if he doesn’t agree to testify against Anthony.

Malone resists at first, but then agrees to testify to save himself, losing Cindy and his relationship with Anthony.

Anthony’s heart wrenching testimony on the stand makes Malone realize that he learned everything that is wrong with Wall Street, from him.

Malone secretly feeds inside information to the defense about his firms ‘questionable dealings which they use against him when he is put on the stand, to help Anthony get off.

There have been many successful movies about Wall Street, but none from the perspective of a twelve-year-old kid.
“The Kid from Lynbrook” is about a Wall Street executive that returns to his hometown and inspires another kid like him to follow in his footsteps. Great irony on how history repeats itself.
This film will appeal to fans of Wall Street movies like “Wall Street”, “Boiler Room”, “The Wolf of Wall Street” and “The Big Short”, and be attractive to teenage kids, as it provides a comedic look on how a kid can expose the whole system.

[Hiram Taylor]

HIRAM TAYLOR – USING HOOKS TO CREATE PITCHES:

TITLE: BEYOND THE 4TH DIMENSION: GENRE: HORROR

What I learned is how the lessons before have laid the groundwork to create our pitches by using the best of our lists
Every night Lily has the same nightmare, a monster with razor-blade teeth devours her boyfriend Eric.

On an assignment, Lily and Eric are pretending to be married. She’s about to meet his mom – a new-age prophet. –

Lily’s secret job is to expose phony religious leaders who are conning people. Unfortunately, Eric’s mom is no fake. She’s the real deal. –

At her channeling, Lily is shocked as she watches people in the audience turn into light bodies and transcend into a giant orb.

Eric has tricked her.

As he turns into light he tries to take her with him before he vanishes!

She is alone with his mom, who comes screaming out of her trance. “It’s not ascension! I’ve been tricked. An evil entity in the 4th Dimension is devouring souls.”

The monster with razor-blade teeth is real.

Body Snatchers meets Wonderland as Lily and Eric’s mom venture down the rabbit hole into the surreal world of the 4th Dimension.

HOOKS USED: 1. LILY’S DREAM of the monster with razor teeth. 2.Lily’s JOB is exposing fake religious leaders. 3. Eric’s mom is a real prophet channler. 4. UNIQUE: People turn into bodies of light and vanish. 5.BETRAYAL: Eric has tricked her. He planned for her to ascend with him to nirvana. 6. COMPARE TO OTHER MOVIES: Invasion of the Body Snatchers and Alice in Wonderland. 7. Great role for a young actress and a middle age A-list actress as the prophet. 8. TITLE: BEYOND THE 4TH DIMENSION. 9. Fits the HORROR GENRE.

[Sandra Fox-Sohner]

Sandy Fox-Sohner – SYNOPSIS HOOKS
TITLE: Mathematical Mermaid: GENRE: Historical Biopic
SYNOPSIS DRAFT based on COMs and MITs
What I learned: by using COMs and MITs, the synopsis is far more interesting.

A child in 19th-century Russia, Sonia Kovalevsky, who is supposed to play and be carefree, would rather secretly teach herself math and suffer punishments for doing so. As a teen, Sonia defies her parents by marrying Vladimir in name only to escape the edict that requires her to become a wife without an education. Sonia desperately wants to be loved and be a mathematician, yet she throws away her chances for a love marriage to gain her freedom to study.

In this true story, Sonia Kovalevsky is an attractive, spirited, brilliant, and charming young woman. She is close with her equally rebellious sister, Anuita, who runs off to fight in the French Revolution while a married and free Sonia escapes to Germany to study. They both vow to make a difference.

But Sonia discovers that In Europe, women are also strictly forbidden as students at any university. A brilliant professor of mathematics in Berlin sees Sonia's genius and bravely offers to tutor her privately, leading to a lifelong friendship and groundbreaking mathematical discoveries. She starts work on the elusive Mathematical Mermaid problem to discover the formula that describes rotations in space. She is the first woman to earn a Ph.D. in mathematics.

Sonia’s husband, Vladimir, promised to marry Sonia in name only, but soon pressures her to become his true wife. She considers him to be a friend but does not love him. In a moment of despair, when Sonia's father dies, and she cannot procure the professorship anywhere in Europe or Russia she so dearly wants, she succumbs to his pressure, and a beloved daughter is born. Vladimir, a noted paleontologist who makes little money, believes it is his duty as Sonia’s husband to provide for his family. He insists that Sonia abandon her mathematics research as his true wife. He tries to become a businessman to make more money, even though Sonia begs him to continue his scientific research instead. He fails, loses everything, and commits suicide.

With nowhere to turn and no financial stability, Sonia returns to her joy of mathematics and repairs the relationships with her mentor and sister. She takes her fate into her own hands by challenging the Math Director at the University in Stockholm with a bet: a full-time professorship with pay if she wins the Prix Bordin in Paris for solving the infamous elusive Mathematical Mermaid problem that had vexed mathematicians for 100 years. Shockingly, he accepts. Sonia works day and night; everything rides on her winning this award.

Sonia solves the problem, wins the award, and in a dramatic turnaround she becomes the first female professor in the 19th Century. She launched a tidal wave of major social change, opening academic doors for women. Many books have been written about her and her work; three outdated foreign films made; festivals, stamps, coins, scholarships, and a crater on the moon are named for her.

At a time when women’s rights are being eroded, it is uplifting to hear about a woman who had no rights but who fought anyway to open up opportunities for women. At the end of the story, Sonia meets a young Marie Curie who tells her she has given her hope.

• This reply was modified 11 months, 1 week ago by  Sandra Fox-Sohner. Reason: SPACING PROBLEMS

[Michael HARRIS]

Michael Harris’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned doing this lesson is that hooks can make my pitch letter compelling.

Title: “Wawasee”
Genre: Coming-of-Age / Action-Adventure

Setting: Set during the Great Depression in the lakeside town of Syracuse, Indiana, “Wawasee” explores the lives of its townsfolk caught between economic hardship and the corrupting influence of Al Capone’s empire. The story uses Lake Wawasee as both a setting and a metaphor for the characters’ journeys.

Plot: In the midst of the Great Depression, 12-year-old Ken Harkless, a spirited local boy grappling with the loss of his mother and the absence of his father, crosses paths with Eli Lilly, a wealthy lakeside heir with a rebellious streak and a deep interest in archaeology. Their initial rivalry, sparked by a boat incident, sets the stage for a transformative alliance as they uncover a cryptic map that draws them into the heart of their town’s dark secrets.

As Ken and Eli delve into the mysteries surrounding Lake Wawasee, they uncover Al Capone’s covert operations, revealing hidden histories and the town’s connection to the notorious gangster. Their investigation deepens when Eli discovers a mysterious buoy, unraveling family secrets and attracting dangerous attention. Guided by Byron Connolly, the town’s grocer and a retired military man with a hidden past of wartime experiences and PTSD, the boys navigate moral complexities and hidden dangers.

Their journey is further complicated by significant betrayals and emotional dilemmas. Josiah K. Lilly, Eli’s father and a pharmaceutical CEO, harbors secret ties to Capone, while Lily Marie Ridgely Lilly, Eli’s mother, leads a double life as a socialite and manipulator within Capone’s ranks. These revelations challenge Ken and Eli’s resolve as they struggle to reconcile their personal histories with their quest for justice.

Ken and Eli uncover evidence of Prohibition-era smuggling beneath the lake’s surface, they expose the town’s dark history and its role in the smuggling chain, symbolizing the broader fight against corruption and crime.

Themes: “Wawasee” weaves a rich tapestry of friendship, betrayal, and the relentless pursuit of justice. It challenges its young heroes to reconcile their pasts with their moral convictions, confronting looming threats and forging a path toward a brighter future.

Conclusion: In a climactic showdown at a lakeside casino, Ken and Eli face the final hurdles in their battle against Capone’s empire, uncovering deeper layers of mob influence and setting the stage for future challenges. As the town’s secrets are brought to light, “Wawasee” delivers a powerful story of adventure and drama, reflecting the dynamic interplay between preservation and progress, and the enduring spirit of community in the face of adversity.

“Wawasee” offers a unique blend of historical intrigue, emotional depth, and action-packed adventure that promises to captivate audiences and leave a lasting impact.

• This reply was modified 11 months, 1 week ago by  Michael HARRIS.

[David Ennocenti]

David Ennocenti, Sniper Queen
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” Use hooks when both writing and pitching your story.
The Hooks
COM
1) . Unique. It’s about a woman war hero in WWII. She was a sniper in the Russian Red Army Rifle Division.
2) Ultimate. This woman was the best of the best.
3) Wide audience appeal. It should appeal to the audience that liked American Sniper, other action/war movies, and movies about influential and trailblazing women.
4) Similarity to a box-office success. American Sniper, G.I. Jane
MIT
1) The opening scene begins with Russian soldiers trapped in a crossfire from German soldiers. A sniper in a tower begins picking off the German with incredible shots. A close-up on the sniper reveals that it is a woman sniper, the scene then flashes back to the present with the woman practicing with her rifle before the start of the war.
2) There are several turning points and reveals. There are many turning points, dilemmas occur leaving doubt. Plus characters respond in surprising and unexpected ways throughout. The protagonist changes from freezing in battle to leading the way. Other characters reveal things about themselves as well. Her Sergent states his opposition to women in combat and predicts men will try to rescue women in danger when they shouldn’t. Then he twice does exactly that.
3) When things reach their lowest point, Eleanor Roosevelt has the protagonist, Lyudmila as a guest in the White House. They tour the USA and Canada together.

Sniper Queen – Synopsis

Russian soldiers are trapped in a crossfire from German soldiers. A sniper in a tower begins picking off the Germans with incredible shots. A close-up on the sniper reveals a woman making the shots. The scene then flashes back to the present with the woman, as a teenager practicing with her rifle before the start of the war.
The screenplay is similar to American Sniper but with a unique angle of women in the military as in the movie G.I. Jane. Like that movie, we see the protagonist, Lyudmila Pavlichenko and other women soldiers, dealing with difficulties of being women in combat and overcoming obstacles thrown their way by some of the male soldiers.
As the movie progresses, character flaws and surprising heroics from unexpected members of Lyudmila’s patrol are revealed. The Russians suffer many setbacks. Meanwhile in the United States, Eleanor Roosevelt and Congresswoman Edith Norse-Rogers form an unlikely alliance by crossing party lines. They work together with General of The Army, George C. Marshall to get bills passed that ease the entry of American women to serve in the military. But Marshall and Congress will not concede to going as far as allowing women in combat.
Many American historical icons are present throughout as are many true Russian war heroes. When the situations with the Russian army reach the lowest point, Eleanor Roosevelt manages to get Lyudmila Pavlichenko to be a guest of honor at the Whitehouse. Pavlichenko becomes the first Soviet citizen to be a guest of the Whitehouse. She tours the USA and Canada with First Lady Roosevelt.
After the tour is over, Pavlichenko returns to the Soviet Union where she is promoted to Major. She becomes a drill instructor and is in charge of training Red Army snipers; men and women. As she addresses the recruits, her old drill instructor and nemesis, along with her sniper partner look on. They laugh because she has changed so much from when she first joined the army that she now sounds and acts more like her old drill instructor than herself.

• This reply was modified 11 months, 1 week ago by  David Ennocenti.

[Paul McGregor]

Paul's Synopsis Hooks.
5. What I learned from this assignment is that, when I concentrated on finding hooks, it led me to change aspects of my story. The assignment taught me that Hal is right when he says, "Create from your hook; then fill in story." It makes for a more compelling story.
6. First draft of synopsis:
Remember! Never get between a bear and its cubs!
Frank, a hard-working, no-nonsense Canadian logger, is looking forward to retirement and spending time with his grand-daughters.
But he's hardly out of his boots and overalls when he discovers his son-in-law Jim's drug habit. His daughter, Monica, refuses to admit the truth until the letter from the bank arrives with the notice of foreclosure on the family home. Apparently, drugs don't come cheap and Jim has taken out a second-mortgage, forging his wife's signature. The notice of foreclosure coincides with Jim's sudden disappearance.
Frank, the man without a high school diploma, takes on the banks and the lawyers. And wins.
But then another enemy turns up. Jim's drug dealers demanding payment. Monica could now lose not just her house, but her life.
What they don't know is that Frank's favorite motto is "attack is the best form of defense."
Frank gets back together with his logging mates and Jim and his suppliers are about to be introduced to the massive wood-chipper out in the forest. But then Frank reckons Jim's parents will appreciate some sawdust to protect their manicured garden during the harsh Canadian winter.
You see? That's what happens when you get between a bear and its cubs!
END

[Joyce Davidson]

Joyce’s hooks for synopsis
WIL: So many ideas are not the best hooks. It takes discernment.

Logline: A former accountant becomes a recruit for the SIS to rescue his agent father and the world from a mysterious doomsday device.

GENRE: comedy, spy spoof
The fate of the world depends upon a new MI6 recruit, but this bumbling accountant is no James Bond.
title: Zed (009 and 1/2)
After Funnelworth Financial closes the door behind accountant Bertram Zed, he wins his dream job with the Secret Intelligence Agency. With little training he goes to Spamovia to rescue his father Lance in a Spamovia prison because the experienced agent has uncovered Warlick’s discovery of a destructive device.
Beretie’s first attempt fails.
Warlick transports the entire spy team in Spamovia, including lovely Georgianna, a photo-journalist maybe, to the summit meeting at Morotosky where winning bid for the device will determine who can control the fate of the world.
Bertram Zed has no choice.
He must save his father, earn his respect, and together save the world.
He must form a plan. Perhaps he can Google it.

[Joseph Waldygo]

Joe Waldygo – Synopsis Hooks
I learned adding in Synopsis Hooks makes your pitch much more enticing, memorable, and distinct.
Title: BROKEN WINGS
Genre: Action/Thriller

The story is like Jill Reacher meets Robin Hood, except Jill is a disgraced war hero now private investigator addicted to pain meds and cheap booze. This is Tory Patton!

Tory and her ex-military squad uses stealth and cool gadgets to steal cash from cartel gang drug dealers to save a veteran’s shelter from foreclosure.

Seven years ago, she was blamed for a friendly fire incident and kicked out of the Air Force with an Article 15.

When Mike from her old squad commits suicide, she goes to his funeral reception and reunites with the other two survivors of the incident. Tawsha, a VA nurse. Megan, a recovering addict with a missing foot she blames Tory for.

Together, they learn the shelter will be sold at auction in 30 days unless $412,500 is paid. Tory feels guilt over Mike and Megan and believes if she can save the shelter, she will have absolution of some kind.

Based on her experience as a cop, Tory convinces Tawsha and Megan they can rob gang drug houses without anyone getting hurt. They use drones, night vision, and Tasers to execute a flawless take down and heist. But there’s one problem. No money. Just drugs. Coke and heroin. So, Tory decides to sell it to one of the Phoenix street gangs.

But Megan is captured and held at a desert compound by a cartel leader who used to be a Matador, but now only kills like one. Tory agrees to trade Megan for the drugs and cash.

At the same time, a Phoenix detective executes a raid on the compound to capture the Matador. There’s a major firefight. Betrayals. Reversals.

The Matador escapes with the money, but Tory catches him after a chase and fight. She gives him to the Detective and keeps the money for the community. He covers for her.

Lastly, they meet two weeks later at a big celebration at the shelter. The Detective got promoted to Captain and Tory’s a hero again. A new beginning.

[Joseph Waldygo]

Joe Waldygo – Synopsis Hooks

I learned adding in Synopsis Hooks makes your pitch much more enticing, memorable, and distinct.

Title: BROKEN WINGS

Genre: Action/Thriller

The story is like Jill Reacher meets Robin Hood, except Jill is a disgraced war hero now private investigator addicted to pain meds and cheap booze.

This is Tory Patton! Tory and her ex-military squad uses stealth and cool gadgets to steal cash from cartel gang drug dealers to save a veteran’s shelter from foreclosure.

Seven years ago, she was blamed for a friendly fire incident and kicked out of the Air Force with an Article 15. When Mike from her old squad commits suicide, she goes to his funeral reception and reunites with the other two survivors of the incident. Tawsha, a VA nurse. Megan, a recovering addict with a missing foot she blames Tory for.

Together, they learn the shelter will be sold at auction in 30 days unless $412,500 is paid. Tory feels guilt over Mike and Megan and believes if she can save the shelter, she will have absolution of some kind.

Based on her experience as a cop, Tory convinces Tawsha and Megan they can rob gang drug houses without anyone getting hurt. They use drones, night vision, and Tasers to execute a flawless take down and heist. But there’s one problem. No money. Just drugs. Coke and heroin. So, Tory decides to sell it to one of the Phoenix street gangs. But Megan is captured and held at a desert compound by a cartel leader who used to be a Matador, but now only kills like one. Tory agrees to trade Megan for the drugs and cash.

At the same time, a Phoenix detective executes a raid on the compound to capture the Matador. There’s a major firefight. Betrayals. Reversals. The Matador escapes with the money, but Tory catches him after a chase and fight. She gives
him to the Detective and keeps the money for the community. He covers for her.

Lastly, they meet two weeks later at a big celebration at the shelter. The Detective got promoted to Captain and Tory’s a hero again. A new beginning.

[Ian Patrick Williams]

Ian’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned doing this assignment is to find story hooks, then fill in the rest.
The Coming Storm
Written by Ian Patrick Williams
Genre: Action

For his first rookie assignment, hot-tempered Black detective MILES BROUSSARD is teamed with veteran SID SILVER to observe a march by the latest white supremacist group: the American Storm Troopers. Their taunts get under his skin but Silver cautions him to stay cool and merely observe.

After a police officer is killed by an unknown gunman, Broussard and Silver attend the funeral. As the minister finishes his graveside speech, a shot rings out, killing him; Broussard finds evidence that the bullet came from a sniper’s rifle half a mile away. Racist cops blame Black Lives Matter.

Doing military research on recently discharged riflemen leads him to suspect two of the AST leaders, CARL TILSON and ZAK LESTER. The FBI intercepts information that a terrorist incident is planned for that Saturday, the same day when GOVERNOR MORRISON will be giving a campaign speech on the steps of their City Hall.
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Against orders, Broussard examines Lester’s garage and finds dozens of empty fertilizer bags. He follows Lester’s van and desperately warns his superiors that Lester appears to be headed to City Hall, probably with Oklahoma City type explosives. The police stop the van just in time and search it—it’s empty.

His furious Commander orders Broussard to tender his resignation for his insubordination. But Broussard is convinced that the empty van was a mere ploy to get everyone to drop their guard and that the assassination of the Governor is still the actual plan. He deduces the nearby Hotel Lincoln is tall enough to shoot from and races there in hopes to stop the killing before it’s too late.

[Pamela Milton]

Pamela Milton’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned – Using MIT and COM helps you stay focused when you are writing in two time eras.
MIT / COM 1934
– Chutney Gang land in armed stand off moments after entering the bank
– Tempest Headley loves Zebulon Hardcore but knows if they married they would-be unhappy. She decides to leave him
– Without thinking of the consequences, Tempest kidnaps the Chutney Gang. and becomes their ad hoc leader.
– While Tempest is away casing a bank the Gang is discovered and cornered by Zebulon’s FBI team. Donning a disguise, Tempest takes Zebulon hostage forcing him to let the Gang escape.
– After saving the Gang from Zebulon Tempest decides to quit the Gang and start a new life in the town of Yesterday.
– Decades later, prominent citizen, Tempest, comes to McKenna Worth aid against McKenna’s boss.
– Tempest and Zebulon reunite.
MIT / COM 1980
– A highly ambitious, McKenna Worth, is the only female IRS agent in the Recovery Department office. She about to go on her first assignment … undercover.
– McKenna uses a case of mistaken identity by the local sheriff to obtain insider information
– Zebulon, now a bounty hunter, arrives in Yesterday. He immediately makes things more difficult for McKenna.
– A relationship quickly develops between McKenna and the sheriff. However, it is a relationship bases on lies leaving McKenna at an emotionall loss.
– Vince Minelli, McKenna’s IRS partner, reports all their conversations to an unknown third party
– McKenna’s boss gives away her true identity to the sheriff and town people.
– A hidden room is discovered in City Hall which holds all the town’s financial secrets. McKenna keeps it info to herself
– Caruthers and is hired thugs arrive in Yesterday to blackmail the town’s official for embezzling bank money and eliminate the Chutney Gang and McKenna as potential informants.
– McKenna, Sheriff Armitage, Tempest and the Chutney Gang defeat Caruthers horde of baddies and are backed up by the arrival of Vince with CIA agent, Fred Fairfield. The CIA has been monitoring Caruthers illicit activities hoping to build a case against him. Vince “volunteered” McKenna’s help with the investigation.
– Caruthers goes to prison, Zebulon and Tempest reunite as do McKenna and Armitage and the Chutney Gang retire to a private island.
Synopsis: The Great Bank Robbery of 1934
In Depression era 1934, the Chutney Gang – Sal, Bob, Exit and a disguised fourth figure attempt to rob a bank in the small town of Yesterday. But when the employees pull their own guns it quickly becomes an armed stand-off.
In 1980, IRS Agent McKenna Worth is sent undercover to investigate if Yesterday’s town’s officials actually embezzled the bank’s funds they reported as stolen in 1934. Arriving in town McKenna befriends Sheriff Samuel Armitage. He mistakes her for a long absent town resident allowing McKenna to use the mistaken identity to further a relationship with him and gain information.
McKenna meets Zebulon Hardcore, a former FBI agent, turned bounty hunter. He is pursuing his life-long hunt for the Chutney Gang in the mistaken belief they were responsible for the death of his fiancée, Tempest Headley. Tempest, in fact, was desperate to escape a suffocating future with Zebulon. During a bank holdup she get the upper hand on the Gang forcing them at gun point to take her with them. She joins the men and in a twist of fate becomes their ad hoc leader.
In McKenna’s investigation she pieces together the truth about the robbery and how the town people and the Chutney Gang became friends through a truce negotiated by Tempest Headley. The bank is left un-robbed, but after the Gang leaves the bank and town officers tell investigating officials the money was stolen. The people involved in the embezzlement (and their descendants) become known as “the Trustees” invest the money to save Yesterday from bankruptcy. Using her undercover anonymity she attempts to pressure one the “Trustees” for information. Sheriff Armitage sets a trap for the unknown perpetrator. Only by a midnight chase through a church grave yard is Mc Kenna able to escape with her undercover identity intact. Her FBI partner, Vince Minelli, reports her actions to an unknown third party.
Caruthers, annoyed by her lack of results orders her to break into City Hall to find evidence of the theft. When McKenna refuses to break the law he reveals her true identity to Sheriff Armitage and the town people she has come to care for. Disgraced, she obeys Caruthers break s into the City Hall. There she finds the evidence needed but does not tell Caruthers nor Armitage. McKenna passes the information onto Vince.
Now prominent citizens living under assumed names, Tempest, Bob and Exit struggle with Sal worsening dementia. He has learned of Zebulon presence in town and is convinced Zebulon is the famous 1930’s FBI agent, Eliot Ness, who has come for the gang, With his trusty Tommy gun in hand he hunts for “Ness”. Zebulon has also learned of the gang and is tracking them down.
Tired of McKenna’ refusal to follow orders, Caruthers and five henchmen arrive in town. He attempts to exhort money from the town officials in exchange for not prosecuting them. A wild running gun battle ensues between McKenna, Sheriff Armitage, Tempest, Bob and Exit and the five henchmen. Sal and Zebulon try unsuccessfully to kill each another. After the henchmen are arrested and jailed McKenna, the Sheriff and the gang go to the bank where they confront Caruthers. The town’s attorney tells him the “borrowed” bank funds were repaid (with interest) years ago so there is no legal or financial laws are being broken. Knowing he has over played his hand Caruthers decides to leave town. His escape is aborted by Vince Minelli and FBI agent Fred Fairfield who has come to arrest Director Caruthers and his henchmen. It is Fairfield to whom Vince has secretly been reporting to.
In the year that follows, Tempest and Zebulon reconcile, Caruthers goes to prison, McKenna and Sheriff Armitage resolve their turbulent relationship with McKenna leaving the IRS to become Armitage’s deputy. The Chutney Gang purchase a private island to spend the rest of their days robbing banks in 1930’s prefab towns.

[Rebecca Sukle]

Rebecca Synopsis Hooks
What I learned that using this method takes some thought but creates a more interesting and focused synopsis.
Title: Many Wives and Lives
Genre: Historical Drama inspired by the four wives of American writer Sherwood Anderson.

Cornelia Anderson, educated and business smart, invested her inheritance in her salesman husband’s paint business but can’t head it or serve on the board in the male dominated society. With her guidance the business thrives until her business tycoon husband decides to risk the company, wealth, family, and reputation for literary fame.

She thinks him insane. How will she and the children survive?

To secure her children’s future, she secretly partners with a successful courtesan brothel mogul in an elite party mansion/ high stakes gaming and womanizing retreat for Uber wealthy men, challenging societal norms and her business acumen.
As her business thrives, Sherwood’s decline. The reappearance of his long dead father, the man he thought he killed, pushes him past the brink of insanity.

This early Twentieth Century, this drama series focuses on the four wives of Sherwood Anderson as he transitions from a successful businessman to a celebrated writer. Against the backdrop of a society that represses women, Anderson’s evolving relationships—with Cornelia and two other ex-wives and his final love, a labor activist—mirror the era’s shifting values. Amidst the social upheaval and his own inner turmoil of two egos, Anderson ultimately finds solace with his final wife, Eleanor, and in his role as editor of two small-town newspapers in remote Virginia.

[Janis Pryor]

Janis A. Pryor – Lesson 5: Using Hooks to Create A Pitch
What I learned: a different way to position a hook.

What causes a confidant, compassionate, highly educated man to spend twenty years watching a highly self-contained woman, carrying a special secret, who would become the love of his life? Based on a true story, White Roses, a love story before and after death, I’ll Never Leave You, is an authentic reflection of how one woman manages her psychic abilities before and after the death of the love of her life. I’ll Never Leave You, is Ghost for grown-ups.

The female lead who identifies as a Black Indian has the blood of three races in her blood. Born to an upper middle-class family, she was born with a veil over her face, or a caul. It is said these people, approximately 1 in every 80,000, are predisposed to having the gift of “second sight,” the ability to see beyond the veil into the afterlife, among other characteristics.

One morning she demonstrates her psychic abilities with a friend and then asks about this man she’s seen for years in the immediate neighborhood. She insists her friend knows this man. This request sets off a series of unnerving synchronicities beginning with him finally speaking to her the next morning, saying, “I’ve been watching you for over twenty years. You don’t change. The dogs don’t change.”

Clearing the hurdles of race, class, and culture they fall deeply in love. The night before he takes some friends sailing the next morning, he leaves a small box with her, making her promise not to open it until he comes back. But he never comes back. He drowns.
The only way she can remain connected to him is through embracing and using her psychic skills. Months after his death in early May, he stands behind her, and says, “Tell our story. Tell what was and what was meant to be and finish it by the end of May.” He leaves a blueprint for their story.

This is the story with wide audience appeal that helps answer a question all of us have. What happens after we die? Is there anything? More and more scientific evidence has been compiled on the reality of the afterlife. Facebook pages pop up devoted to this subject including Love After Life, composed of men and women who are still in contact with spouses and partners who have died.

For two bankable and highly popular, well-loved actors, with recommendations from the other side this is a great movie that could become an iconic screen story.

[Lyn Embree]

Lyn's Synopsis Hooks

What I learned doing this assignment is when it comes to pitching, the story is secondary. The hooks grab attention and get power players interested. Hooks will get you in the door.

Hooks:

1. There is a parallel universe in the skies above Colombia ruled by La Tunda.

2. La Tunda is a powerful, shape-shifting goddess who has protected the Colombian people and nature for centuries, but now she's fed up.

3. Our heroine Skye's mom sent her to the U.S. for a better life, but in reality, it was to hide her from La Tunda who she knew would be coming for her daughter all along.

4. Skye can access the parallel dimension through her dreams.

5. Jennifer, Skye's therapist, is an Afro-Colombian dancer and witch with tons of knowledge about La Tunda.

6. La Tunda is Skye's aunt.

Synopsis:

Title: DARK EMERALD

Written by: Lyn Embree

Genre: Fantasy / Adventure

In the skies above Colombia, there's a parallel dimension. It's ruled by La Tunda, a shape-shifting goddess and protectress of Colombia's people and nature.

Sounds cool, right? Except La Tunda is pissed off and fed up. All of humanity is destroying itself and the environment. So La Tunda is quitting!

Problem is, according to the rules of the universe, she needs a replacement.

Meanwhile, nihilist Skye is a Colombian-American teen abusing every bit of her adopted parents' wealth and privilege in an attempt to go out with a bang before the inevitable man-made apocalypse.

Skye has no idea that she is La Tunda's niece and was born with the same supernatural shapeshifting powers.

One night, clueless Skye gets a wake-up call in her dreams when she finds herself transported into La Tunda's realm and meets the goddess face to face.

Skye's therapist, Jennifer, who just happens to be a badass Afro-Colombian dancer and witch in her free time, becomes Skye's mentor to help guide her through the impending battle with La Tunda.

If Skye wins, she goes back to life as normal in the U.S. If Skye loses, she can never go home again.

The all-female, supernatural, shape-shifting rumble in the floating jungle is on!

La Tunda's tired spirit proves to be no match for Skye's 'WTF is this crappy world I was born into' angst and she is defeated. Skye can go home.

But she chooses not to! Skye willingly accepts the role of protectress, vowing to do what she can to save Colombia first and maybe the world next.

• This reply was modified 10 months, 3 weeks ago by  Lyn Embree.